The Architech of the Verdict (Part 3): The Billable Breakup

What happens when alignment breaks… and the bill arrives?

In ISRAELI GOY: The Billable Breakup, I take you inside a turning point—where a high-level professional relationship is tested by structure, expectations, and money.

What began as collaboration becomes tension.A growing case meets a growing invoice.And somewhere in between, clarity replaces comfort.

This episode explores the moment where strategy and emotion collide—when you’re forced to question not just the cost of the work…but the terms of the relationship behind it.

Because sometimes, what looks like an ending…is actually an interruption that forces a new level of awareness.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Welcome to Israeli Goy, the podcast where the voices of an unchosen Israel get heard. My name is Adriana. I'm a Spaniard goi with a very long, uncommon and interesting journey in the land of Israel. What do you do when the person holding the front line with you suddenly starts treating you your shared vision like just another line item on an invoice? In high-stakes level battles, we talk about strategy and evidence, but we rarely talk about the grief of a billable breakup. Today I'm sharing a deeply personal story from the field in Israel about a partnership that felt like a mirrored soul but ended as a cold transaction. This episode is for anyone walking through a high-stakes fire who needs to know how to stay resilient, find creative solutions, and keep moving forward when the person you trusted most turns into a stranger. So everything goes or starts going very good in life. 2025 was for me a year of survival. Very hard year. In all its possible forms, it included from deportation at Ben Gurion Airport to lack of stable housing, lack of stable finances, moving around from hotel to hotel with my toddler alone, exile, living in the Netherlands in pure chaos, until things start stabilizing step by step. And as we approached the end of 2025, I started exiting that survival year that was 2025. And entering 2026 was an interesting experience because when you go after a very hard, tough year, you kinda lose your hopes, you know? You lose your your joy, your inner excitement. Those feelings that life can be so good and you can enjoy so much, you start feeling that spark. You can you start losing that spark so somehow. And when you enter a new year and suddenly everything starts shifting with a much better energy, it's a good surprise that life gives you. That's what happened to me in 2026. Um, interestingly enough, one of the first things that happened to me is that I think just the three, four days that I um fired my last lawyer in child support in Israel, instead of giving up, I give it somehow my last chance to it. And this in the very beginning of January, I found my current lawyer, and that in itself was a very transformative, inspiring, positive experience because it was not just that I found the right lawyer after many you know attempts trying to find a lawyer and a very long journey legally in Israel, but it was more related to the fact that from um feeling excluded and not belonging in Israel and that no one else got my vision in that nation, and they were so close within themselves towards the foreigner. Finally, I found someone in the ground, local person from there, 100% in a high rank professionally that got me 100%. So that was very activating for me. Do I have housing for tonight or a place to sleep, a hotel or something like this, enough for food in restaurants because I don't have a kitchen in a hotel? This kind of mindset, of course, it's like a stressful period in your life where you cannot really sit back and relax, just enjoy, just chill, just dream, or pursue a dream or want to achieve something great, because when your main core survival in life is not granted, your nervous system is not enough relaxed, it's not enough settled, so to say, to allow yourself to expand in life, to allow yourself to start thinking bigger or orienting yourself towards achieving goals, because how can you think about achieving big goals when you don't know if you have enough left in your bank account balance in order to cover today's survival? And my today's survival was hugely expensive because I did I didn't have a home, a civil home. I ran out from my uh toxic relationship with my mother, so to say, and I kind of stepped into the wild, you know. I didn't have a way to go to Israel, I was deported. My former lawyers in the paternity test were just dismissing any further movement into the legal journey to register my kid, uh ask for child support in order to stabilize at least my financial aspect with my kid and my possible return to the nation, my legal uh basis to get a visa and stay there with more stability and a system of support that was completely dismissed by lawyers, the authorities deported me, so they they kind of left it very you know clear that I wasn't welcome there, I was not belonging to the nation, at least for that period of time. A lot of my kids never offer any help or support per good faith, so to say. My family also are not um aligned with my dreams or purposes, and also since I became a mom, support it's been kind of conditional, tight, and so I run, you know, I just stepped into the wild uh with uh luggage and my kit, and uh I flew to Netherlands, and I don't know, and I didn't have any any you know enough uh financial setup for for stepping into also a very expensive country in Europe without any structure, you know. I was not going there with a good or stable job uh contract and you know an offer for rental, uh renting a house and support for the kids. I don't have anything at all. So I have to have a safe space for my kids. I have to pay daily hotels, and that can be easily hundred uh counting hotel, like night hotel, plus all the food in the day without a kitchen in Amsterdam, doing orders or eating in rastos, or maybe taking away some food from Albert Hain, you know, this supermarket chain in Netherlands, super new, so super known and amazing too. They offer so many pre-cooked uh food with quality, but it's also expensive supermarkets. So uh let's say like an average of 150-160 euros per day involving the survival of food and stay. So it's of course it's an expensive survival, but at that time I couldn't even choose any any any more affordable option because it just didn't exist, and again, it's like I couldn't, it was not a choice, a deliberate choice of you know spending, you know, at the end of the month easily six, seven thousand euros minimum to survive because I was just stepping into the wild. You know, the same Israelites uh left Canaan with a plan without a plan and they they were nomads. I didn't they didn't know where they were going to sleep and if they were having they were going to have uh food, the mana that God provides for them in the desert. I assure you it was my situation somehow. Like I wake up in the morning so many days and I don't know if the mana is gonna come, you know. I don't know if I will get enough to food, if I will be able to secure a night of hotel to sleep, and I don't have any other chance, any other options because at the time that I need hotels is because I don't have a house, I don't have a rental uh apartment or anything where I can um you know save money on hotels. Hotels were my survival tool. I was improvising and moving around because you know, hotels, it's a messy situation. Sometimes they are fully booked, sometimes they just get super higher prices, and you need to change to another hotel that's more affordable, or there's no more place, you need to change to another room or another hotel. So you know to take the luggage, take transport. Maybe if you are lucky, you have enough for a taxi to more comfort with your kid, the stroller, moving around town from hotel to hotel. So again, this this was my survival 2025, very heavy. Okay, heavy, heavy, heavy. Gladfully, I achieved to secure um a couple of uh housing uh houses in Amsterdam, but for short uh period of uh time, just like one month, one house, and a month um and a half the other house. So it was like in total it was like 60, 75 days of housing compared to then the rest of the year without housing. So it's like I spent nine months in hotels versus three months of of stable apartment or house. Uh so yeah, your nervous system gets very, very, very, very tired of fighting for the survival. You lose sight of dreaming uh my dream to Israel. You know, if you add a deportation with um survival, immediate survival need, hypervigilant to survive the day, I cannot afford myself to go back to that place mentally and redream about that. I'm not feeling safe enough to dream, and I'm not feeling safe enough to say, let's go to the Middle East now because I don't have a house even in Europe. How I'm gonna just without the financial security and the housing stability, just you know, take my kid and go to another region of the world alone, see what happens. And I've been this this wild person, I've been this traveler, I've um traveled the Middle East before, I lived in the Middle East and all around abroad, but never went through such experience before until 2025. Everything was was very destabilized, very unstable. So uh 2025, I started exiting survival in 26. I found this lawyer, and this lawyer is kind of a catalyst that reminds me of these dormant skills. First of all, because I am in this survival protector role all the time in 2025. I have to protect my kid, I have to secure a hotel, I have to, you know, order food, go to a cafe. I don't have a plan, so I improvise every day. That's why also more much more money goes out when you don't have stability because you cannot really control things, it's very out of control, and I have to provide for him, I have to ensure he's safe, I have to ensure he's uh with clothes, he eats more than a food, and I also do like we are good every day, and this of course makes my skills of a leader, a professional, uh a dreamer, a visionary, all this goes dormant. The woman that I am outside of the motherhood role goes dormant, and when I meet this lawyer, it's like she reminds me all of it, she reminds me of my dream and core vision to Israel. She reflects that in the first call. That's kind of magical. Like, how can this happen? After so many years going to Israel and being slighted by the Israelis or misunderstood or dismissed, someone that takes um my uh stance and my opinions, my perspectives seriously. She respects me as an equal peer. She not only respects but mirrors the way I think in everything towards the system in Israel. And she's an Israeli Jew, and it's like, how can this exist? You know, so I find this perfect harmonious professional relationship that reminds me, that makes me awake these inner Durman skills of leadership of visionary that I always had within me. So it's magical. Imagine going after so much hardship and survival, and suddenly, you know, you have to left behind all the things you are just to survive, and finally, you are enough safe to start allowing yourself to expand and feel all those skills that you have within yourself that are natural, are not acquired from the external world, but they come from my inner self. And I found someone in the professional field, in the legal field, that gets me, you know, that treats me as a completely equal peer. No gaslighting, no excuses, no manipulation, nothing of that is present. And it's like that's what I deserve in my life, you know. I need more people like her in terms of reflecting this leadership, this respect, this healthy dynamic that I'm not used to having my life because I come from a toxic family, and this skin that reflected everywhere, you know, professional, toxic relationships, uh um, personal, toxic uh partners, um even toxic friends, you know. So dynamics in life in relationships that start being in a new level. It's like an upgrade, you know, it's like a premium, you know, start going through where I always knew I am um I deserve to be, you know, where I am meant to be. The same that I think big and I know I deserve big in life. I'm also a person with high standards and leadership, ambition, and I deserve relationships in the professional um sphere, but also personal, but in the professional in terms of my leadership, that reflect back the leader that I am, that take me as serious as I am as I'm taking my dreams, ambitions, and intelligence and everything as serious as I take, you know. Uh people that I can work with in complete alignment and harmony, that I don't think I don't have to fight to be heard or understood, or um I don't have to take BS from them, I don't have to be treated as as I don't know as if I don't know things, or I need to be explained of, or or that they make me, you know, adapt uh the things they told me, like oh, I never told this when they did. You know what I mean? Like completely align professional alliances or partnerships. Uh that was an easy still. This, of course, is a very activating moment and experience. You don't even know if you're imagining it, you know. It's like the first time I encounter so many things together in a person in the professional um sphere. And of course, um this encounter awakens all of these uh dorm skills within myself, and I am right away starting to expand and to act accordingly, so that I find someone that reflects all of this in myself and I still operate from the you know outgraded uh toxic version in myself that I have to explain myself, be reactive, dub myself. No, no, I just completely embrace um this this new vibe and energy of complete um upgrade, professional upgrade, and I started operating in a new, completely different way. But uh it's it's not new, like I always knew this new way of operating, it's always been my standard. I just never found the space, the environment, the people, the relationships that were adequate enough for me in order to operate in this level, you know. So I couldn't experience this level of of operating professionally in a in a leadership way because I never found the space and the people to do so. And this lawyer is the first person that gives this environment, this this space of relationship to operate at this level. So I'm very activated and it again it uh expands in all areas of my life. Um I started traveling after three years and a half of only motherhood alone again. I went to Berlin, I started meeting new people, um reconnecting with old friendships, start having full-time nanny. My kids start having his own group of friends. I have all the time busy with the case. I operate from a very like a high level of diligence and I deliver things. So it expands to all areas of your life, and again, no, it's like you have much more freedom suddenly. You are not just uh compressed into the role of protector and survival, and survivor with your kid as a mother, but you start um embracing the professional leadership role in a relationship that's completely equal with respect and the same level of vision, and you just got each other, you don't have to explain yourself, you don't have to uh discuss ideas in terms of you know, this is my idea, the other person is like trying to change it, you know, trying to question it. It's not it's not like this, it's just I have this idea, I propose this, the other person just gets it. Doesn't have to, um, doesn't need a like me to prove anything. So it's so calm and so peaceful, and I started embracing my wanderer self because I start traveling all over again abroad, and all of this is so amazing, right? Um there's this spirit of expansion, and everything happens so fast you don't even realize that life is getting so high stakes, so expansive, so aligned with dreams all over again. But this is the point where I'm trying to get here. It's when things get so good, you know, the relationship and everything feels so aligned, everything starts feeling like I found also a nanny for the first time since my kid was born in two years and a half. That was the first nanny that I was more aligned with. She was an amazing girl, super cute, took care of my kid beyond the basics. She she went beyond the necessary. She allowed him to have new friends, he was like a social connector. You know, this kind of you expansion, everything looks completely different from survival. So everything is going so far so good, and suddenly the first things start to happen, and with the legal case, with Hyke States legal case, which this series is about, what happens is something very unexpected for me. Like everything goes well. We find some challenges, like the last update the lawyer gives me before the the first problem arrives, let's say like this, is that she filed the claim and the judge answers with uh jurisdictional form of convenience problem, saying, like, convince me why Israel is the right country to hear about this case because the kid and the mother live in Spain. Kinda, you know, touching the vision, Kinda. So yeah, I can take these things as discouraging as oh my god, you know, oh my god, what a challenge. I mean, I I created and built this claim. I paid money to the lawyer, I am, you know, giving my life to this project, so to say. There's a possibility of a big outcome. I want to create present. This case counts for me to me for many reasons, and suddenly we just you know enter the court with the claim, and the court is kinda blocking the way, saying that maybe this is not your jurisdiction to claim here. So, yeah. I mean, I had a moment of confusion, like, oh my god, what's going on here? Also, the the the jud said you should be present in the hearings, and I'm like deported from Israel, so you know. So yeah, the Lord King that got a bit stressed, like she tried to call me, like, oh, let's do an emergency call today or something very urgent. Then there was a war in in Israel with Iran. I mean, there's still the war, but I feel like now it might be a bit less intense. But that thing happened in the very beginning of the war, which is usually it's much more intense. So she was in the miklah, like she was like in the in the in the bunker or something, like she couldn't really talk well that day. And I felt a bit like wow. For one, from one hand, it was like interesting, and from the other was oh my god, you know, what's happening here? A bit unsettling, you know, because yes, like I'm my higher self, my leadership leadership self, so it's a high-stakes case. This like challenge of formal jurisdiction can create precedent in Israel, so it's like an opportunity. Great, let's do it. From the other side, it's like this is a claim of my child support, there's numbers, real, you know, life needs to be covered by the that stability, financial stability for me and my kid, uh, in in in in play, you know, in risk if the jurisdiction turns to be the wrong one. So of course it's like there's always gonna be this tension in these level cases, in this high stakes legal cases, but I was thinking that okay, let's let's go for it, like let's let's let's see how we work on it. But I think we're gonna, you know, overcome this hurdle, and maybe it's something interesting to learn things and how the jurisdiction works in Israel and and how can I access the state of Israel. That's been my my dream so far, you know, as a non-Jew to be uh in the jurisdiction of Israel, you know, in the state of Israel jurisdiction. And so it it it you know it connects, it aligns, even if now it feels a bit far away. I'm deported, I'm not going to Israel for very long. It seems sometimes as a lost dream, as a lost cause, but you know, I met them this lawyer, and it reminds me it might not be a lost cause, and especially when when I find these hard dollars that they might be made for my vision and my dream, you know, so they may be opportunities, not just challenges or problems or but yeah, they can be a bit intimidating or unsettling, the least. Uh but that was not the problem with the lawyer, the the problem we face was something very unexpected. So um it was the middle of March. Two months went since we met and started working together with this legal claim. It felt like two years, I mean it was too intense, at least under my own perspective. I don't know, hers. And we agreed initially on the payment of the case. I asked her for a child support case like mine, how much is it gonna cost? I wanted to have a Kinda close or approximate price of the legal uh services at least, no? And she she was like um yeah, for loyal kids like yours, uh I believe, whatever. 20 well I won't um should I say the numbers here in this podcast? X amount will be enough of shekels. Okay, so I understood that will be the entire case. Uh then in the Legal Fee Agreement she mentioned to commence our work we will need you uh you will need to buy 30 hours of work, which will equal that X amount she took. And we expect to cover most of our services in that bank of hours. However, if uh extra like if more hours are required, you will need to buy another bank of hours, whatever. You know, this however it was in the agreement, yes. I was excited to meet her, excited of the partnership. I don't know, I just I mean to be honest, I thought about it at least two or three times in my life before the problem arised. I mean, I asked myself 30 hours gonna be enough for such a probably long case and litigation. So I'm gonna pay her 30 hours and she's gonna like uh provide full legal services until the end with 30 hours. You know, I wasn't doing a lot working with her, so I felt like I mean I won't have so many hours to work with her to enjoy the connection or to enjoy this more like our project. But I kinda override the concern until I paid um in the mid-March the last installment of the third of the first 30 hours of work. I was really happy because I was very sure I was fulfilling the entire obligation on my side, the entire financial obligation I had. So I was like, okay, now I pay what we establish it will be most likely the entirety of the case, and I can financially relax and focus on the case. I like these things, you know, because life life is something you learn, at least if not in your 20s, because you are more innocent. I don't know, depends on anyone, you know. But for sure in your 30s, or I hope most people do in their 30s, but you learn something and it's like especially in high stakes cases where your life has you know high responsibilities and you are dealing with something of this level, and it's mostly granted that things being you know forever solved, or you know, I can relax now, it's very um let's say it's highly not the reality, no, how to say it like um like it's unlikely, it's kinda unlikely. Um because like like like life likes to surprise you, you know, and sometimes it surprises you positively, sometimes not as positively, but it's testing you, and like you're not gonna be here living an easy life, even if you want it. And for me, it was like I just put myself into this situation. I decided to enter into a litigation, international litigation. I propose partnership, I propose to set precedent, to make a present case with the lawyer. I want to, you know, uh, inside of the legal system, I want to explore new paths and ways to create presents for new for people that come after me. I want to go this far and hard with something like this, with the law, with the state of Israel, with it's part of my core vision, you know, my long-term dream. So I'm kinda earning things not to be easy. And what happened? I paid and I was like celebrating, you know, on my side. And the next day, the secretary of the of the lawyer, she's like uh sending me a long WhatsApp, and I'm like, why is this WhatsApp so long? What should be like, you know, thanks for paying the last installment, and and you know, we love you, you paid everything, you're free to not free from more financial obligations with the lawyer. You know, enjoy your process, your case. Instead of that, I receive a message that completely confuses me and left me super shocked that what she's saying to the secretary. The lawyer says that you've uh used already 28.5 hours of the 30 hours of the bank of hours you vote. So she's asking me to issue a new bill for 30 more hours. I was like, huh? You know, like when you know when you don't you don't know what you're reading. Like I was so confused because first of all, I I thought she was telling me that I paid for 28.5 hours, as if there was like if they needed to if they needed me to pay for an hour and a half that wasn't paid for, something like this. Like it was like a misadjustment of the payments I made. And to issue me a new bill for 30 more hours was like uh no, this doesn't match what I understood in our first conversation when she said 30 hours more likely we'll uh do it for this case. I mean, she said more likely we'll do it. I mean, yeah, it wasn't a sure grant, it was not capped fees, lawyer. The legal fee agreement was not a capped legal fee agreement. But that's what I trusted, you know. I understood and trusted that mostly that will be all. And it wasn't, of course, you know. I I read the message, I say to the secretary, no, I don't understand what you are telling me. Sorry, but uh I tell her, like, I paid you what 28.5, I pay you the 30 hours, I paid everything that we agreed on with the lawyer. So like something like I don't understand this message, or something like this, you know. And then she was like, Yes, yes, of course, you paid everything. Uh but what the lawyer says is that you already exhausted all the hours you paid for, and to continue with the case, you need to buy a new bank of hours. I was like, you know, like I I was like, I I can't believe it. I can believe it because, first of all, the connection that I had, you know, the partnership, the activation, how I work with the case. Like I gave my heart. And I also went through my own situations in order to make it financially possible to pay the three installments on time every month, uh, and ensure that the case will be fully paid. So and I paid fully, and it was not easy for me to either, you know, all the work I've done to create the claim along with the lawyer as a partner, collaborating with her. All the notaries I went, the apostles, all the things I done, plus all of all of the things I paid separately from the case, plus what I paid of the lawyer, it felt a lot. I felt like I did my part already somehow. So, you know, when I feel like I've I've done my part, I was already going to an hotel to rest, to celebrate, you know. I needed this setup, you know, like I had to celebrate myself, to self-celebrate this leadership that I just executed and what I built in so short time, and that I fulfilled my financial obligations, and I'm off pressure now. And you know, imagine you are in this position feeling this thing, and you read a message where the secretary says that you just pay what you thought it was the last payment, and suddenly you are gonna be issued a new bill of the same amount of what you just ended paying. I'm not gonna say how much I'm paying uh to protect you know privacy, but I don't know to put an amount. Imagine you have to pay. Uh, I'm gonna exaggerate just because I don't wanna say how much and I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go more though than what it is. But 40,000 shekels. And you've made three payments and you just pay the 40,000. It's like I pay 40, so 40,000, uh 40,000, I'm I'm free, you know, like I've done my financial obligation, I fulfill it. And the day you you are happy and celebrating, and you're going to your hotel to celebrate, and you are like relaxed, the secretary of that lawyer tells you, oh, you paid those 40,000, thank you, but that work you pay for, she already worked for. So if you want to continue the case and she needs to continue working with your case, you have now to pay more 40,000, like 80 in total. So what I fulfilled in the amount, it's what I need to refulfill again immediately. So it's like I don't, I don't know, this doesn't sit well with me right now. It was Shabbat, like after that day, it was Shabbat. I took my setup in the hotel, was like, I need a setup because I got you know, the day of the message I was like I was getting a bit, you know, I cried, I was like, you know, going down the you know rabbit hole, like I was I was affected, you know, emotionally, mentally, like oh my god, what what just happened? Like I was shocked negatively, the same I was shocked very positively in our first meeting because oh my god, this lawyer is like a swing, it's like a twin soul or something like this. After I thought I I fulfilled my financial obligation, and the secretary tells me I should be billed the same amount I just paid in two months and three instalments again the same day. I was like, that's nothing I was expecting, like I that's something I wasn't expecting, and I suddenly felt like the spell of the partnership or the relationship fell. The honeymoon phase was over, like okay, I was thinking I was a partner, you know. The lawyer clearly clearly doesn't see me as any sort of partner in this relationship. She sees me as an ATM if something, you know, like uh that's why this this picture of the podcast that says the hefty bill, like that's what happened, and it felt like so hefty beal. Like I gave my best. I worked hard also, I worked my part, I was engaged every day, I answered the mail so fast, I delivered information, gathered information, um documents, anything that was necessary in a very, very fast-paced um speed. And it was like it she pays me like this, like she's paying me by asking me for more money. I started questioning things of did I get the value she's assessing that I already like she's she's used? Like, did I get all the thousand of shekels I paid for what she did? Is is is this like balance? Did she really work as much? Did she really f did it felt like she worked 30 hours on the case or she did less and she's like filling those hours to you know quickly or more fast uh fill the bill, you know? Uh I don't know, I wasn't intuitively what I can say in that moment of conflict was like with me it didn't sit well. So I took space, you know, I took my day out and went to that hotel. And I kinda empowered myself in that session. I wanna it was a nice hotel and so on, but I needed that vision of mine, like um I don't know. First of all, I told myself you don't have to agree to her conditions, you don't have to agree with this, you have to make her an offer, she will have to meet you halfway, like things like this. Like, I don't like to I don't know, like she killed the vibe to be honest. Like I felt in the energy of entrepreneurship, like in the leadership, you know, like I am proactively doing uh things, I'm engaged, I love the case, I love working with her, and suddenly it's like I don't love it anymore, you know. I don't feel I'm a leader in this relationship anymore. Like she's not valuing my leadership, she's not valuing how I executed things and the value I added to the case. She's just interested in me paying extra hours and hours and hours, and I don't know. Um it felt called transactional disgusting for me. I mean, in in in honest ways, like I don't like what happened. And but yeah, it's uh it was like it's shocking because you know when something is so good and it happens so fast and suddenly something bad happens, it's like you feel like the good part it's been a dream, like it's not real. And that's what's the worst part of this conflict. It's like you question it, you know. I started questioning if that partnership was real, if I just made it in my own, if I created in my mind, it was my idea. I was working hard in a leading uh way, delivering the best, superactivated, and she was just not caring about how I was delivering delivering things, or I was valuing her intellect and ideas, and she was just valuing my diligence or fast response, so to say, something, you know. So were we in the same level? Were we ever really a team? No, I started questioning things, and then I listened to a podcast that reassesses that even if things fell fast when they were positive and and intense in the beginning, it doesn't mean that it wasn't real. So I was like, okay, this was real, it happened, it was real. And then I started questioning why this had to happen, like why did this bill had to disrupt the vibe and so much confusion into my mind, okay? So much confusion. The Shabbat was over, and we started with our bill dispute. They started sending me with the secretary and everything. Uh, the details of how every hour was spent on the lawyer side, blah blah blah. When I read the uh the paper sheet with the hours and the distribution, it was like oh my god, you know. I uh I don't know, felt confusing, like uh suddenly honestly. I didn't like it, you know. I didn't like because I was in a the dreaming um state where I felt like everything is flowing when I enjoy meeting with lawyer because I felt the connection that we are connecting in an intellectual level, the things that we are proposing. Um, and then I saw in that paper, you know, that that hour of meeting costed me that many shekels, and that mail she sent me costed me this many shekels. And I know I sent her many mails, and she sent me many mails, and we sent each other many mails. Like I counted them, it was like more males in two months with her than in two years with my former lawyer of paternity. So it was many males, so many. But it was because I was activated and I liked to talk with her, and I was proposing things and ideas, and suddenly you know it shows up in a bill that okay, every mail was costing me money, every call was costing me money, every idea was costing me money. I mean, everything I've done, it was like a huge contradiction for myself. Like, how can it be possible that my leadership, my highest level of execution in a professional field, instead of making me money, it's costing me money. I mean, so I should, if I knew that, I should just be a you know F C K N G, you know what I mean, client that's passive, you know. Uh F C K N G passive client, you know, that sits back and relaxed and doesn't do anything and doesn't deliver anything. So she really does all the work. I don't collaborate or make things easier for her. And and then I pay whatever it is, and that's it. My my part is just paying, but I just didn't pay. I worked too, I I provided to documentation, information, collaboration. So I felt like okay, wrong vessel. I was I was investing so much of my leadership in a place where my leadership was really not taken into account. You know, I felt like yes, I was seen, I was I was being seen and hurt, and she gave me, you know, somehow the space and opportunity for a partnership, but no, I wasn't sitting well with that, you know. So it was not just financial, it's not just that, of course, it hit me to receive another bill of the same amount to put extra financial pressure, but also I um how to say it, uh it it it I think it hurt me more in an emotional level, in um in the level of our partnership connection that I built, I was practically building and happy about it, and I gave my best and I did. Then it paid me with a cold bill, you know, like a cold extra bill. With nothing else. It's like you have to pay more. That's it. We don't care about what you've done here, what you've provided here. Pay, you know? It's like, okay. Um, I didn't sit well with it. I don't like to see the hours how they were spent because it reminded me that everything she did was like chargeable, but also like maybe three hours chargeable. Six hours chargeable because I did this and that, and I charge you three six hours of this bank of hours. You know, I was like, okay. I don't sit well with this. I don't sit well. So she didn't want to agree on into a CAP fee for the future work, and I say to her, you know what? I'm seeking new counsel, and you know, you can pass me everything about the file of my case. And that's it. We are over. So, like, breakup, you know. Professional breakup, you know. I had to end it because I mean, like, in a so in some sort of way, it felt like because there were such so many challenges with the jurisdiction that I was deported from Israel, and suddenly she gets she shows me a next bill. I felt like okay, she's like putting me a new bill, so I'm just finishing representation with her. So I adapted if she wanted to, you know, stop the case, like the representation for my case. Like she didn't want to to keep going because of the hurdles. And so she cornered me with the bill, so I exit, you know. I had many scenarios in my head. I don't know which one is real, but I I don't know, I just say okay, like bye-bye, you know, like I cannot work with you anymore. And what happened when I say I cannot work with you anymore? I mean, I feel cornered in a worse situation because it's like it's a legal high-stakes case, and it's like I had to like I had a deadline to answer for the form and jurisdiction uh to the court in like a week when I, you know, break up with her. So it's like, okay, I'm not gonna have any lawyer now, and I have to answer the court. And if with without a lawyer, I cannot answer the court. And if I don't answer the court, I can lose the case, you know. So it was like a horrible situation. I'm deported, also, I cannot go to an office physically in Tel Aviv. There was the war also there. So my week was like I had to, you know, start finding new lawyers online again, but under pressure, sending them the documents of my current case, the claim, and everything, and doing meetings with them to receive the new legal fee agreements and how they can work with me from now. And you know, I did a meeting with one lawyer and she saw the case and she, you know, said her ideas, blah blah blah. She signed me the legal fee agreement, and then I give it a thought for one or two days and was like, it doesn't sit well with me either. I felt very confused, like, oh my god, you know. I asked myself, am I ready to leave this partnership now and here? Do I really want to keep going to the level case, the level claim that I built with this lawyer? So amazing, so great in numbers and everything, in the strategy, and leave it in the hands of whoever new lawyer I just get in a rush. Because you know, securing new counsel, a new lawyer, it's also it also costs money. It might be that the new lawyer has uh offered a CAP fee agreement, but if I pay upfront this CAP fee agreement and I end up not liking the new lawyer, whereas I also obviously like so much this lawyer that I have in my partnership, then I'm gonna regret it and it will be worse because I will have to spend the money on my um partnership lawyer plus the money on the new lawyer. And I will even half risk the outcome and the litigation because the new lawyer might not be in the level of my partner lawyer. I give it a thought, another thought, and in a moment of clarity in the gym, I um send my current still lawyer a message, the one that I break up with, you know, the partnership and everything. And I felt like I don't I cannot lose this lawyer. I mean I just can't. So okay, I said okay, I'm gonna commit two more hours, but you know, you have to you know let me know when you've already worked 20 hours out of 30, so it's not like a surprise I cannot be billed. Um right after I finish uh paying something, like it feels very intrusive, no, like a very uh insulting to receive a bill. She was trying to rush me, you know. Like um, you only have these days to answer, you need new counsel now, um, because if we need to prepare for for the answer, uh we have to start now, and you need to, you know, unless like uh or you will lose the case, you know. Like act now or lose it, you know. This strategy is the worst you can ever face. Like when someone tries to sell you act now or lose it, it's like they don't want you to take your proper like to take properly enough time to think about the the decision of choosing them, because they know if you think long enough, you're gonna reject them. So if they, you know, can numb your discernment and your reasonable the use of your reason, you know, your reflective thoughts. If you numb those things that are gonna tell you that service is not good for you, and you act under pressure and fear of losing your case, then it's the only way they can get you. And that's when I got those messages from the possible potential new lawyer, I thought, hmm. And because when you hire a new lawyer, you need to pay a front fee. Always, you never get any lawyer if you don't pay a retaine fee, what they call. So I was like, uh nope, you know. I mean, if I have to keep paying, I think I rather put my next money into the same person that made me like allow me to get into this amazing claim, you know what I mean? And it's not that it's all like it's not my lawyer's uh only you know capacity to build this. I mean, it was me too. You know, I was super key in this. But if I am this person, this leader, this this claim itself, with a bad non-matchable lawyer, I'm not gonna be able that the lawyer builds this for me as a representative or that represents me properly as who I am. And I know this current lawyer, she's like my reflect, maybe yes, with money it's been shit. The dispute was maybe unnecessary under my point of view. That extra bill, it's not been comfortable for me. I don't think rather for her. I don't know, like I don't think it's a comfortable situation. Um, but she's strict with her rules, you know. Maybe there's people in Israel who try to, you know, not pay sometimes or underpay her or whatever. I understand that he can ha she can have her own standards and policies and whatever. I'm not gonna judge that. I'm just I was not most comfortable with that, but okay. But if I take out and remove the conflict, I like I didn't just renew my you know willingness to keep working and agreeing with an extra new bank of hours. I did try to renew my faith and my belief in this partnership, in this lawyer to be the proper representative for such a big claim. And she's the one who made with me, of course, but I believe she's the better better person to defend this that it's her work that I won't find, you know. So, yes, in a moment of clarification in the gym, I thought, I don't know. I I first of all I asked my my lawyer, still she was my lawyer until she she never ended representation, so she keeps being my lawyer. Um to extend, I asked the court for an extension for the reply of the jurisdiction, because of course that was acting against me that I don't have time, so I need to buy at least time for the court to, of course, protect the case. But she also gave me like an ultimatum of seven days to choose new counsel and I will end representation. So it was like before she makes the decision for herself, before I don't give I don't give her new counsel, and she's the one telling that she ends representation with the client. Like before leaving things in hands of destiny, I prefer to fucking taking action, you know. That's the leadership that I awakened with me, within me, sorry, when I met her, and that's the same, like I have to honor the leadership and the leader that I've been in this relationship, and that belongs to me, but it exists especially with this person, and to retake this leadership and act as you know, as it follows through, you know, as it represents the leadership. So I had a moment of clarity and said, you know, you don't want to lose this lawyer, act now or lose it, but this for the real, you know. Not not by the fear of the other lawyer that if you don't buy me now, if you don't buy me my basically average or bad services now, you will lose your case as the only way to get me trapped into her council. Um but my current lawyer, you know, I had the intuitive feeling that she, you know, will follow through with her words. I don't want to test, I don't wanna be passive, you know. Like I don't tell her any new counsel, and I hope and expect she won't uh good representation. I need to make a decision, you know, it's my decision. So I said no, I wanna keep working with her. I don't know how I'm gonna make it work, I don't know how I'm gonna organize financially, but I'm gonna make it work. So, you know, I send the mail and propose her not new conditions in terms of like I I didn't pop like put the conditions, but basically some things that um I need on my end in order to organize financially better and don't have not not to have the surprises that I received lately, not to repeat the same situation basically. And of course I didn't have granted um I didn't have for granted that she's gonna answer yes. The time I asked for the extension, she answered really warm and nice. That's what also made me rethink about the decision of leaving. Because I told her I'm looking for new counsel, and she was not, I don't know, called or replied the mail, like, oh my god, I'm not your lawyer, I'm I'm not gonna act on it, look for yourself. I don't know, like she was not like wherever, she felt like always, you know, like the nice warm person I met the first time. So I knew I wanted to continue, and I told her, and I don't know if she's gonna agree because I told her I I wanna leave, so she might take she might say I don't want to keep working with someone that tells me that leaves, you know. But of course, like she keeps the case and the money and the client, she's not gonna say no. But you never know, like she could have said no, you know. Positive message, positive mail, and we keep not repaired. But repaired was like one mail or two, like, yeah, I'm very happy that we can continue working together. I'm very glad. Of uh thank you for your renewed trust on my services. I really appreciate it, I'm really happy or glad, blah blah blah. These things, you know, like yeah, nice. Not that in the beginning, in the beginning was like, I'm so excited to start working with you, I'm so excited. It was an exciting moment, and the this moment of breakup and coming back was king that I'm very happy, I'm very glad to keep going together. And I strongly believe in your case and your rights as a mom to keep to receive the proper payments and to do this and that, and in this uh case, blah blah blah. But um in a more flat way, at least, for me felt more like, you know, I'm just not retaking back after a dispute. It's not the same honeymoon phase I experienced in the beginning when I just saw the dream of making my dream real through this um um claim, and I just met the right partner in crime to do it, you know. It was like wow, and now it's been like relax, you know, relief that I can keep her, relief the conflict is can be solved, but yet a bit unsure of how it's gonna unfold, you know. That's the only thing. A bit uh more cautious, more more aware that you know everything that I do, every mail, everything is costing me money, uh, you know, less less flowing, and that's been the shift. There's been just like two, three mails in two weeks. I mean, there's been holidays, I had to also pay the amount of the bill. There's been things that might have made the communication more slow and things like this, but you know, I felt it like the disruption kinda felt totally in my life and and with her and the relationship, and in my life too, because that partnership activated me in every area of my life. And I I had full-time nanny working the podcast, which I'm working now too, but you know, uh traveled alone solo, went to bars, flirted with people. Like I done many things of solo person again. I had a lot of support, and suddenly it's like this this dropped, and my life dropped, and I'm like, I don't know why, but it's like I got into a period of being and feeling like stalled and stuck and kinda in a la and a limbo. Support disappeared or temporarily it's not available for me. I don't know. My opportunities to travel alone, to be myself, to work on myself, to be by my again self uh during the week, like and the kid in with someone, and then having weekends for me and doing a lot of things that suddenly was doing, suddenly I'm not. I'm just with my kid all the time, full time for the last two weeks since the breakup happened. It's like something, you know, interfered with my life too. And I don't know, Pesach is ending in two days, so that's when she's gonna be back at the office, and I'm already paid, I already paid a new uh part of the work. So let's see how this new phase will be. You know, this is like a rhyme. Let's see how this next phase let's see how this next phase will be. Because um if skin that not yet fully started, or it doesn't feel like it started. Um will I felt will I feel so activated, so invested in the case, so participating in it, or I will let her do more than I should because if I am paying so much, I want her to work and I don't work anymore, I don't want to be participant anymore. Is she gonna be so like um is she gonna keep replying so fast, you know, so responsive as she's always been with me? Am I also gonna be so or so engaged? I don't know, like, is this going to flow and be the same as it was? Or is it gonna be like this song like because nothing is the same as it was? As it was, nothing is the same. Maybe nothing is the same as it was, you know, but um it will be it might have evolved something more like a stable, worrying, but necessary. At least um we'll see what happened next.