3 Mindset Blockers Keeping You Stuck (And How To Break Free) | Grow With Kepo Ep. 2

In this episode, I talk about the 3 biggest blockers that stop us from taking action, impostor syndrome, fear of judgment, and fear of failure.

These are the thoughts that whisper, “You’re not ready,” or “What if they find out you don’t know what you’re doing?” But here’s the truth: these lies keep us stuck, and it’s time we called them out.

I share:

• Why I don’t fully buy into the idea of impostor syndrome
• The difference between being unqualified and just being human
• Why people will always judge, and why that shouldn’t stop you
• What failure really means and how to fail forward

This one is for anyone holding back, waiting to feel ready. If that’s you, it’s time to break free and take the next step anyway. Let’s grow together.

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Transcript

0:00

Being equipped and prepared is different than feeling ready. There are two different things, whether you do it or don't do it, whether you do it small or go big people are going to judge, let them. Opinions are like armpits. Everybody has them and they stink. Why would you take criticism from people you will not take advice from? Once you understand that failure is actually your teacher and is a good. Then honey, you'll become here is something you need to hear. You're not lazy, you're just misaligned. I'm kpo. I help high performers get unstuck by taking bold, aligned action. And this is Grow with kpo, where we speak with influential trailblazers who've made their mark and found the clarity that changed their lives. This is where we get Claire realigned and move toward a life that actually feels like yours. Welcome to the show. Hello everybody. Welcome to episode two of the Grow with KE podcast. I'm super excited about today's episode. It's a continuation of the first one where I talked about why you will never be ready. I promised that in the next one I will go into the blockers. That stop us from thinking all kinds of things that stop us from actually getting things done or taking action. Those blockers that make us truly believe that we are not ready and there are lies. The three main blockers, and I touched on some of these things in the first one. I want to go deep into them. Are one, impostor syndrome. Two. Fear of judgment. Three. Fear of failure. In my last episode, I talked about how I don't really believe in the whole idea of impostor syndrome. Let me caveat that and I should have said that last episode, but let me say it now. I'm not saying imposter syndrome is not real. It was my attempt to just break it down. Sometimes when we use all these big words syndrome from our response triggering all these things, it almost takes away the responsibility from us and then into like all this other thing that is just unreachable. And just far, and it's not me. It's not my fault. It's the syndrome, it's the trauma response. There's room for those things, but I'm saying we kind of throw it around a little too much and overuse it, and it becomes a crutch in our lives. I'm gonna iterate again and talk about the two main things that I believe really going on when people say that they're experiencing imposter syndrome and it's their reason for not feeling like they're ready. Number one, it's either there is a skills gap, an experience gap, and in that situation, you need to identify where the skill gap is and feel it, and then you'll feel ready. Or maybe you might not feel ready, but at least that excuse goes away, and then you are at least equipped and prepared. Being equipped and prepared is different than feeling ready. There are two different things, right? The second thing that might be going on is you just having what I call the human experience. You are stepping outside of your comfort zone. You're doing something for the first time. It's not likely going to feel great. It. Ugh. Sometimes may just be like, oh my gosh, open the ground now and just bury me. I don't, I don't want to do this. I don't want to face this crowd. I don't want to send that email. I don't want to ask for that thing that I know I really, really want and keeps me up at night. You are stepping out of your comfort zone. And I mentioned, and if I didn't mention, let me say it now, that our brains are always trying to protect us, right? They want us to stay in our comfort zone. The more we recognize what is going on, when it is going on, the more empowered we are to actually overcome it. So the next time you hear yourself telling yourself, you know, I'm having impostor syndrome honey. Where do you need to call close the skills gap? Where do you need to just embrace the fact that you are being human and you're doing something new? And it's going to feel different. It's one of those two things. Let's not make it more than what it is, guys. Imposter syndrome happens to everybody. You are probably even wondering maybe, oh, I don't know if I'm good enough. What if they find out that I'm actually just winging it? I don't know what I'm doing half the time and I'm just still trying to figure it out. Guess what? Hey, quick break. I want to invite you to something powerful. If you're a high achieving professional who feels burnt out, stuck, or like you've checked all the boxes, but still feel unfulfilled, I've been there. That's why I offer free strategy sessions to help you reconnect with purpose and get clear on your next bold move. I would love to support you. Just hit the link in the description to book your call. Now back to the episode. So am I. But that hasn't stopped me from starting this podcast. It tried to, when I would tell myself things like, who am I to even say that I have any authority in this area? Who am I to even think that I would have any influence in this area? They're going to figure it out. They're going to figure me out very soon, and they're gonna see that I'm just. Trying, testing, taking action, and I don't really know. I'm not really fully sure, but I'm doing it anyways. Well, let me help you fast forward that you can find me out right now. I am also just testing. That's what I'm doing, you guys. I'm not fully sure, like I don't have everything all laid out, but I'm doing it anyway. Do you see the difference, like. For me, I'm like, okay, I am feeling this way, but is there a reason to not do it? No, because the more I don't do it, the more I will certainly feel this way. So the only way to actually find out if I'm worth the salt is to actually do it. Impostor syndrome is real, but. Or is it just the stories we've built in our minds? Is it just that training that we need to do? Is it just that book that we need to read? You know what I mean? The second thing is the fear of judgment. Oh man, I love this one, and I can go to town on this. I went to town on the first one that I recorded, so I'll try to go to town on it again this time, this fear of judgment thing. Let me let you in on something very quickly. People are going to judge, you are right to think that they're going to judge because they will. How do I know this? Because you're judging me right now because you were just on your phone not too long ago and you are judging as you are scrolling this social media live. Has even brought out the bigger judges in us because every time you're scrolling, you are having to judge whether this thing is good enough for you to stop and actually watch to the end, to look in the comments. Is it good enough for me to send to my friends, or is it something that, should I post it like you're constantly judging. We're always judging people. Our brains, they our brains just want to put people in boxes or put people in categories so that we can understand them, so that we can see them through a certain lens and just help us figure this world out. We are constantly judging, but guess what? They will always judge no matter what you do. Mel Robbins. If you don't know her, check her out. I love her content. She talks a lot about this phenomena called let them, let them talk. Let them snare. Let them say you can't do it. Let them say you are too much. Let them say, who do you think you are to put this up? But at the end of the day, why should you care? Why should you care what they say? Why would you take criticism from people? You will not take advice from. The only people whose judgment or criticism you should take to heart are the people that you are emulating, the people that you consider, your coaches, your mentors, and these people are crushing it and they're getting awesome results in that area that you're trying to. Or in that area where you are also trying to get similar results. Short of that, why are you listening to them? Why do you care whether you do it or don't do it? Whether you do it small or go big people are going to judge, let them. And have you noticed a lot of times people that judge the loudest ones, they're not doing anything. Close to what you are doing. Sometimes they're even judging you because them seeing you trying to make something of yourself is highlighting in them their own deficiencies is highlighting in them the things that they also need to work on. And they don't like that. They don't want to be left alone in the land of, we ain't going nowhere, but we want you to come with us. So they're going to judge. And anyways, it's just natural that they're going to do that because you do it too. So once you understand that, that should no longer be a reason to not do something, because either way they're going to do it. So you might as well do something good for yourself. At the end of the day, it is your life. Your life. Like I think sometimes he was saying it out loud. He's like, it's my life. As in my own life or mine, why am I worrying about what they are thinking about my life? I'm not saying that everyone should just do whatever they want and not care anything at all about what anybody thinks. Don't consider people don't be tolerant or watch how you speak, how you show up. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying. That you don't let the fact that people are going to have opinions stop you from doing what you want to do with your life. I used to be close to someone that passed away. Uh, Darren Begley. Check out his content on YouTube. D-A-R-R-I-N Begley, B-E-G-L-E-Y. So he used to lead the church that I went to in Houston, amazing human being. And he always said this thing he always said. Opinions are like armpits. Everybody has them and they stink. People will have opinions and they stink. Let them mind your own business. When you're minding your own business and you're doing what you need to do for yourself, eventually they'll move on. Don't move on. They'll find another person to talk about and. Criticism you will leave room for is the one that is going to help you grow because it's coming from somebody that has walked the path that you are on right now. The third thing is the fear of failure. Let me make it this one very quick. You are going to fail. You are welcome. The episode has ended. You can move on to the next one. No, seriously, you are going to fail. It's inevitable. Don't be afraid of it. It's not failing. That is the failure. It doesn't make you a failure. It's not trying at all. That is the true failure. When you take action and you fail, you learn something from it. You learn a way to not do it. You learn something about yourself in the process. There is always something to take from it. One of our best teachers is that failure itself is the thing that is actually going to teach you to become successful. You fail forward. There's no point failing, and then you just stay stuck there and you don't take stock of what you did wrong, what went well, what didn't go so well, and how you can do it better the next time. There is no point hanging around there. Then it would've just been worthless. What makes it so good is the next time you try it, oh my gosh, it's gonna be better. And you know Thomas Edison, you probably heard this before, invented the light bulb. He did 10,000 experiments before he finally got it right, you guys. And he's famous for having said. He did not make 10,000 mistakes. He found 10,000 ways to not do it. You need to find your 10,000 ways to not do it until you invent the light bulb of your life, the light bulb that is going to turbocharge you to actually live the life and design the life that you really want. Maybe we're even thinking too high about life. Let's just think about some of the tactical things that you want to get done. This year, this quarter, you need to fail forward and that failure is going to light you up. I promise. How do I know this? Because I have failed and I've been failing. Case in point, this whole building an online business or coaching, whatever. I'm not just starting you guys. Oh, man. Hmm. I have tried, let's say maybe I've tried many different things for the past 15 years, but maybe in the past five years I've really, really tried to do something online and I've failed several times. The first one I tried to do was the weight loss coaching with skin and jollof that some of you might know, and in some areas I succeeded because of some of the people that I helped and some of people that have changed their mindset around health and fitness or weight loss because of working with them. But there was also all the many people that I could have helped that I didn't get through to. There is me burning out twice and starting over again in the business. Sometimes when I look back at the first few videos that I shot on YouTube, I'm like, why was this my focus? I. I should have been doing something else. In the process of doing the coaching, I learned something about myself. I was like, you know, I don't think I actually want to do this kind of coaching, because if I'm being honest, when I first started and I wanted to share my voice with the world, it wasn't about weight loss. I just felt that I needed to niche down to something very, very tangible, and then I'll eventually pivot. To mindset coaching, which is where my passion is. And I realized, you know what? I don't wanna do this. Yeah. Health and fitness is a huge part of my life. It's a huge part of what I'm going to be covering on this podcast.'cause the big, big, big, big part of whatever it is you want to get on in this life. Because this thing right here is your vessel. Your body is the stuff that helps you move around the earth and get things done. So you can't neglect that. Right. But more on that later. My point is. I knew that I, what I wanted to do was a whole mindset thing, but I only figured all of that out because I tried. I took action, and I failed woefully, I felt flat on my face. I just stopped posting all together. I stopped taking clients. I stopped doing any sales or marketing. My funnel dried up nothing. Then I pivoted to something else, then I pivoted to something else. And then even this thing that I'm doing with this podcast took me a while to actually realize that, oh, I love to talk and share with other people. I love to help people develop a new way of thinking, and in so doing also help myself do the same thing. Why am I trying to force myself into creating static Instagram posts? When this is what I really want to be doing. I tried to do this whole mindset coaching thing last year. Three months into it fell flat on my face again. At that point, I could have just said, you know what? I've tried. I've spent money, I've tried, lemme go and do something else. But I knew when I took stock, I was like, ah, I know that I could have done this thing differently. I know that I can do it better. Yes, I failed. And when I even look even more stupid when I come back again and I announce again on social media or whatever that, Hey you guys, I'm back again. You know, back to the fear of judgment. You know, it kind of, it at times the fear of failure. I'm afraid that people will judge me and say, oh, ugh, do you try to do that thing? How long did you last? Let's say how long you last this time? And there's also the, what if I fail again? Like, what if I actually fail again? What then? Oh, guess what? I would've found yet another way to not do it, because life will test your vision. If I truly believe that this is an area of influence for me, then I. Eventually that door is going to blast open for me, but I gotta keep trying. I cannot say because I'm afraid that I will fail. I won't do it at all, because whichever way I do it, it's hard. If I don't do anything and I just say stuck in one place, it's hard. If I do it and I fail, it's also hard. I would've failed forward. So I'm choosing this type of heart. I am failing forward, you guys, right in front of you. This is episode two. Let's see if I make it to episode 100. Let's see if I make it to episode 552. I cannot be thinking about that. I'm here right now and I'm trying, I'm putting my best foot forward. I'm failing forward. I'm gonna go back, I'm gonna replay this and I'm going to see this is where I could have done better in the past. Last year, I was doing too many things. I was working on building my online presence. I. Working on getting clients for mindset coaching. I was working on a startup checkout plate hack.com, shameless plug, and then I was also working on my full-time nine to five job. My nine to five job is not one of those crunch numbers. And go. They need your full faculty every time on your A game. So it was a lot, and the way I was going about the whole online presence thing, I realized that, oh my gosh, I'm not playing to my strengths. Now. I've learned, okay, these are what my strengths are. This thing that I'm doing right here talking, when it comes to the actual editing and all those other nitty gritty tech things, I can do them, but they suck the life out of me. I will outsource those things. I know better. Now to recap, the three things that will block you from actually taking action are one, imposter syndrome. Two, fear of judgment. Three, fear of failure. I have broken down each of those three things for you to help you see that. Maybe those things are not really truly blockers, and it's just the meaning that we've attached to them. Once you change that meaning, once you understand what is truly going on, when you say you have impostor syndrome, once you understand that judgment will always be there and just need to let them. Once you understand that failure is actually your teacher and is a good thing, honey, you'll become unstoppable. Unstoppable. So the next time you hear yourself. Telling yourself the same recurring story. Remember this, they are not true. None of these blockers are actually real. Change the meaning that you attach to it and then watch your life progress. Watch yourself take action in a way that you've never imagined before. Hey guys. Thank you so much for watching. If this helped you, I want you to share it with someone that you think it'll help as well. Pay it forward, like subscribe so you don't miss the next episode, which is going to be about the nitty gritty. I'm gonna be going into detail of how to actually start. Even if it's messy, how to start even when you don't feel like it. How to start despite all these blockers that I talked about. See you in the next episode, and thanks for watching. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to Grow with Kepp. If this episode sparked something for you, subscribe, share it with a friend and keep growing.