Episode 19 - Braden Welker, Why We "Search for Meaning"

This week’s guest is Braden Welker. Braden is a husband and father, business leader, mentor, and advocate for growth through adversity. With over thirty years of experience, Braden has built his career around trust, service, and helping others succeed. Having overcome addiction and experienced the power of support during difficult seasons, Braden is passionate about showing up for others in their struggles. Inspired by the lessons found in Man’s Search for Meaning, Braden believes purpose is often found through hardship. Braden is dedicated to building strong teams, strengthening communities, and helping others create meaningful lives through vulnerability and humility. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Waking the Why, a podcast about uncovering the purpose behind life's crucible moments. Each episode, you'll hear from real people who turn their struggles into strength and their stories into light. If you're searching for meaning, walking through something hard, or just love stories that stir the soul, you're in the right place.

SPEAKER_03 0:24

Hello, friends, and welcome to Waking the Why, where we discover the purpose behind life's crucible moments. My name is Stacey Peterson, and our guest today is Braden Welker. Thank you so much. You're very welcome, thank you. Yes. You guys, you have to know. Braden and I have worked, I don't know how long it's been since we've worked together.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Nine years. Yeah. Over nine years.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Nine years. That's it's a long time. This guy's amazing. So we worked together at WinWord, and he has a story that everyone needs to hear. So, Braden, let's start there. What's your story?

SPEAKER_01 0:55

Well, I can start a little bit before, um, I guess when I was younger. I always kind of felt a little disconnected from everybody else. I don't know why. I know my parents got divorced when I was young. I lived with my mom. She did the best she could. She got in a really bad car accident when I was in elementary school. It was really hard on us. She ended up having to have back surgery, and the doctor really screwed her up. By the time she died, I think she ended up having 11 back surgeries and 13 neck surgeries. And my dad was, my dad did the best he could about how he was raised and how he raised us. It wasn't the greatest, but he was doing the best he could. Now we have an amazing race relationship because of past things we've gone through and being able to communicate, communicate and connect. So I always kind of felt off a little, like I wasn't really part of the family and kind of actually come to find out, I was um, I got locked up when I was younger. I think it was in seventh grade.

SPEAKER_03 1:56

And I can't even imagine.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Yeah. So found out that he wasn't my real dad.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

It oh.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

He was not my biological father. I don't know that that actually it did have an impact on me. It really did. Um, and I don't know if that's why I felt so disconnected or whatever. I just didn't feel like I had a place in the world. So I started doing drugs in seventh grade. Um, alcohol, you name it, I did it.

SPEAKER_03 2:20

How did you get it? I'm sorry, seventh grade.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

How um we started so actually right behind your house. Um, we started smoking weed up at the U from friends, older brothers, and progressed from there. Um Wow, okay. By tenth grade, I was using a needle and anything I could get my hands on. I basically I was never sober. I went through all of my high school years, years high doing drugs. Um, the one thing that kept me out of, I guess, being in a ditch or dead was I had drive. I worked through high school. I started doing electrical. When I was younger, I would take things apart. I would get old candle lamps and take them apart and run wire through them and turn them into lamps. So going into electrical gave me a place to focus my energy, which was really good. After high school, I got into the club business. I did very well. I taught myself how to fix and program intelligent lighting. I was able to go all over the country. I helped own and operate a bunch of dance clubs down in Salt Lake. That environment. Um, I get off at four o'clock in the morning and be back to work at 10 o'clock in the morning. It was basically just one big party. All I did was drink and do drugs.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

Seven days a week.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Seven days a week. Yes. My kind of a, I don't know that it's necessarily a turning point. Actually, it wasn't a turning point. It was kind of the only time I realized I really a lot of people told me I had a problem. They came to me, you're better than this. And I didn't listen. It I I was doing fine. I had a job, I was maintaining, didn't really know how bad things were. I was with my mom. We were in, I believe, the living room watching a movie in 2010. Janice was pregnant with Addison. Uh it was January. Uh, my little brother was in the next room. I went to go grab him and found him. He had overdose. I had to give him mouth to mouth, call the ambulance, you know, all that stuff. Um, he ended up dying. But that wasn't the bad part.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

How old were you?

SPEAKER_01 4:27

Maybe 25, 24, somewhere around there. Went to the hospital, had to do all that stuff. I came back and found a stash, and then ended up using his drugs that he just had died off of. But even that wasn't enough to it. Dawned on me that I had a problem. Wasn't ready to quit. Me and Janice had Addison three months later. We kind of made it work for a little while, and then she broke up with me. Um, I ended up moving to Las Vegas where I met my wife. It's still the same thing, work hard, meet all my goals. She ended up committing suicide, I think three years. So 2013, I believe. I had to go claim her body. And this kind of was my life. It was it was normal for me. I didn't even think anything different. I don't know. I didn't, I don't know. It was it was normal.

SPEAKER_03 5:17

Um which is so crazy to even think about that that's normal, right? Right. But when you start at such a young age and it's all you've ever known or all that you've been around, and then the people around you are using and they die in whatever form or fashion from it, like I can see how that's normal.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Yeah. Yep. But so life went on. I remember, can't even remember what year it was. I think it was 2012. I was getting really sick. I couldn't keep food down. I couldn't, I couldn't go to work sometimes, um, which was that's the only thing I took pride in was being able to work hard and being successful and accomplish things, these things that I set my mind to. One night I had come back from the bar, it was like three o'clock in the morning. I went downstairs and laid down on the couch, and I just thought to myself, I don't know what it was. I was like, something hit me, and it was like, you cannot do this anymore. This is not who you are. You can't keep doing this. Um, I believe in angels. I really do. I I think I remembered it so clearly that it was either I was gonna kill myself or I had to change. So I checked myself into the hospital. Um, when I got to the hospital, I was so sick and so dehydrated that they they couldn't get an IV in me. Um, they had Lifelight come in and try to give me an IV. They tried to put get a needle in my neck and they couldn't even do that. They tried to give me medicine, I refused. I was like, if I'm doing this, I have to do it. I can't keep relying on medication or pills or anything like this. I have to do this myself. I ended up being in the hospital for four months. They didn't think I was gonna make it. Um, I was hallucinating. I hallucinated for a month and a half. I was sick. I I would literally just lay on the floor in the shower and just vomit and I hurt so bad. I was so achy. It was literally pure hell.

SPEAKER_03 7:12

What got you through that? I mean, that's four months of pure hell. How did you make it?

SPEAKER_01 7:17

I think actually, I I know I found a book and it was Harry Potter. I just needed something to keep my mind off of. And so I started reading this book, and a guy came in. I think he was my counselor. I don't, I don't know. Yeah, he didn't question me, he didn't do anything. He's like, You like to read? I was like, I love to read. Um, I love gaining knowledge. I it's something I can do. I'm it's like I'm really having a hard time right now reading, but um, I just need something. And he just sat there, he sat with me on my bed. He didn't question, he didn't do anything, he just talked to me about books.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

How often will you come in?

SPEAKER_01 7:53

I don't even remember, honestly. It's all it comes in pieces, but I do remember he brought me in a book and it was Man Search for Meaning. I read that book once a year now. I read that book and it completely opened my eyes. So, anyways, after that, I think it was just that connection. Yeah, just somebody out there that cared that didn't want to see me like that, wanted me to be better. I think that's what got me through it, honestly. I didn't let my mom come see me. I didn't let anybody come see me. I didn't want, I didn't want any contact, but he was there and I needed it. So I got out of the hospital and I went back home and I was still so sick and my mind was a mess. So I I figured I'd go for a walk. And then I was walking along Glassman Park. I was honestly going to kill myself. Um I couldn't do it. I didn't, I was like, I made it through this far, but I had nowhere to go. I didn't know what to do. I called my mom and Janice's sister. They found a place for me to go. Um, Valley Camp. My dad took care of it, um, paid for me to go there. I was there for three months. And up there really gave me a chance. The way Valley Camp works is it's a working man camp. There's no counselors, there's no nothing. It's just uh Alcoholics Anonymous. If you're there, you have to work, you have to go through the program. You have sponsors. I met Jim, who was my sponsor, and he's he was great, really good guy. Um, I was able to open up to him. But while I was up there, I was able to work. We built, I think the cabin there that we lived in, it was so nasty and so gross. I mean, there was holes in the wall. While we were there, we were building, they had a a big log cabin that they used for meetings. Um, while we were there, we were able to build a second floor for new people coming in, have a nicer place. Um, they ended up tearing down the cabin that we were in because it it was gross. It was so nasty. But it it didn't even matter being up there with just these random guys, and a lot of them didn't make it. A lot of people that I were was in there with um ended up dying. Actually, my friend Dustin, I believe, is the only one I know that's still sober out of the people that I was with. After going through that, I mean, that's seven months. I didn't start feeling better till almost a year. Um, and after going through all that and doing that, um, I reached out to Janice. She let me see my daughter for the first time in five, five years. Um, we ended up getting back together. We had some rough patches. We broke up again, and anyways, so I continued on. I actually went to work at Kimberly Clark again and uh was doing really well there. Running cruise, met a guy um that ended up that I worked with, ended up quitting and coming here. He got me a job here, and I did really well. But I was successful, I worked hard, but I didn't do it very well. I'd say people around me liked me, but they couldn't be around me. I didn't notice people. I think for me, throughout my whole life, I've basically been in survival mode. Um, I have just been running and focusing just to kind of stay alive.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

Literally.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Don't know how to live, you know, other than you see a goal, just go for it and work your butt off until you get it. Um, I never took care of myself. I never as always get the goals or take care of Addison, you know. Um, I was out to impress people. I was out to show people that I am good enough, you know. It wasn't until what a couple of years now. You guys pulled me in the office and said, I can't remember exactly what you said, but it was, you know, you kind of need a change. You're in this new role. That was probably the first time that I actually took an interest in my in myself and actually looked inside. Um, I think, you know, I talked about the connection with that counselor. I guess he is. Um, I'm trying to find him too, just so you can.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Oh, yeah. I was wondering, I was gonna ask. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Um he actually uh when I got my 30-day chip up at camp, he came. Oh. And then I I need to find him. But I think I think for so much of my life, I didn't have the connection with myself. I never, I never looked inside, I never felt feelings or processed feelings or any of my emotions, reactions, anything like that. You guys gave me the opportunity to do that. And um, just like everything else I did in my life, I jumped headfirst, I jumped head first.

SPEAKER_03 12:29

Yeah, um, you guys gotta tell a story. So I think we were in a leadership training or a leadership development meeting, and I don't know, those are about leadership and people and whatever. And I remember you saying you hate people.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 12:41

In a room full of people, right? And and Braven's in a leadership role where the people in the room report into him, and I'm sitting there like, oh, oh no, right? But I think the reality is is, I mean, I have felt a connection with you from the very beginning. Right. And I could always sit down with you and and have a really good conversation. And it just like you would say you hate people, but at the same time, like, how do you hate people? Because you're so like you're likable and there's just great conversation and and connection that way. And so it just, but you really at times acted like you hated people and everyone around you were just like, he's a total jerk. That's putting it nicely.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Very nicely.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

Um, but I will say about this that it is true about Brayden, is that I think you had to process a little bit when we had that that conversation of like what what we were saying and and what it actually meant. And I think you had to work through your emotions. But once you make a decision to do something, you do it. And you go all in, even when it's the hardest thing.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

This is been the hardest thing I've ever done. This has been harder than getting off drugs, honestly.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

So when you and when you say this, help our audience understand what you've been doing.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

So I have been going back and I've been writing my story. I have been going back and reliving every past trauma, every past mistake, every bad thing I thought I did. I'm not a bad person. When I go back and look at it, I just didn't feel like I was enough. People always told me I was a good person, I was enough. Um, I just didn't think that there were, like I said, there was a disconnect there. Going through all this and going through who I am and how I feel, it really felt I I know who I am now. I'm I'm able to tell people how I feel. I'm op I'm open, I'm vulnerable, and I love it. Honestly, I the growth I've seen in myself and just the people around me, such a blessing. And I love it's hard and it's it's a long road, but the little small things, like when I catch myself smiling, yeah, or because I'm truly happy for the first time in my life, and I don't even I can't even explain how that feels. And so going through my story, going through my life, reaching out to people and asking them what they don't like about me, what they love about me. And then also going to men's groups, going and talking to people and sharing my story, being open. It's hard for me. It's worth it. I know, I know I was put here for a reason. And I think my reason is to live this horrible life and make mistakes and get past them so I can help people, so I can talk to them. So for me, it's being being able to connect with those people. I've been through it. I can connect with them. Um, I think about all the little connections I've had through my life. And a lot of them, I, you know, I didn't listen or I didn't take their advice. I've actually been thinking about that this week quite a bit. Uh, there was a cop. Um, he had he had arrested me multiple times. I was at work one day and he went to my house and searched it and found needles. Um, he called me up at work and said, Braden, I need to come see you. Came and got me from work, took me to lunch, and just had a conversation with me. He talked to me about drugs and alcohol and what he sees out on the street. And then he got me a book by Steven Tyler and about how he got off drugs. I think when we go out of our way for somebody, it leaves whether they take it then or now, I know that little moment. He didn't get paid for it, but I know that little moment stuck somewhere in the back of my mind. And I have moments like that throughout my life that I've been going back, especially this week. I don't know why. I've been going back and looking at it. And I thank these people from the bottom of my heart because I don't know that I would have gotten this far without that.

SPEAKER_03 16:41

I just read a book from Arthur Brooks. I believe the title's called The Meaning of Life, something like that. It is so good, but he but he talks about how the way in which we search for happiness, that there's a key component to happiness. There's enjoyment and there's satisfaction. But the last part of the formula is meaning. You you don't find true happiness without meaning. Right. And he and he really emphasizes the fact that we gain meaning through all of the crap that we go through in life. And I'm with you, Braden. I've learned that the things I experience in life are one to teach me something, but then it's my choice and opportunity to then help others through that same thing, right? I believe God gives us that to do that. And it takes me back to the to the book that your counselor gave you of you know, man's search for meaning. And I love the title of that book because it is a search.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

It is.

SPEAKER_03 17:36

And I it's never ending. No, right? It's not like all of a sudden one day, oh, I I know what it is. And because I promise you, the life gives you something else. And you're like, okay, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

It does. You know? Everything I've been going through for the past couple of years, I'm like, okay, I figured this out. This is how I made it through this. And then a month later, I'm like, no, this is how I did this. And then but it's everything mixed together. I think life changes, and I mean we only grow if we make mistakes, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

I made plenty of them so I can help somebody.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

Which I I love that you're seeing that. You're at the point. I you know this the last six months, nine months or so, I've been on this journey of just like learning how to let go and be still, which has nothing to do about delegation. I keep saying that over and over and over. It has everything to do about what's happening inside of me, right? And it's so hard to articulate, but there's there's these moments, especially since January, that that feel so real and palpable that has changed me. I I wish I could give that to someone, right? Right. Yes. Um but I'm also realizing that sometimes some life's experiences are only for us. Yes. But they give us the strength and I think the peace and the stillness needed to then move forward and help others along the way, right? Right. Writing, you have you your life's been extremely difficult. Yes. And I would say more so than the normal person. We talk about normal, my normal growing up and yours looks vastly different. But I think one thing that's true about life is that we all have hard.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

Yes. It doesn't matter. My hard compared to somebody else's is completely different. What they could be going through, I might not be able to handle.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

Right. And I think that's what that's why I think we can't do the comparison game, right? And I think, you know, I'm a an individual of faith, and I truly believe that God looks at us as individuals and says, this is your unique experience. It's your experience to help you become what I know you can become. And that becoming, it's a life, it's lifelong. It's that search for meaning, it's lifelong, right? Yep. But in the middle, it's so easy to sit here and look back and look at the things that we've learned and be appreciative of it. But when you're in the middle, sometimes you just you can't see the light.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

No, you can't.

SPEAKER_03 20:03

What advice would you give to our audience on how do you get through the middle?

SPEAKER_01 20:09

I know it's hard, but being open and vulnerable enough to reach out, ask somebody. And if you see somebody that's in the middle of that, reach out to them. I I can't I think it's a phone call or even asking how somebody asking somebody how their day is going or picking somebody up to take them to a meeting or just having a simple conversation um can literally change somebody's life. But if somebody is going through that, they have to be.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

Which by the way, everyone, he's with Janice. Just clarifying, he's with Janice.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

She's an angel, she's an angel.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

She's an angel. She and that that's a another connection right there. That I mean, when I met Janice, seventh grade, I was locked up. I got out on release, and my mom let me go with my friends. They took me to her house to go swimming. I met her for an hour. She started writing me letters. So that one hour has carried us for over 30 years now.

SPEAKER_03 21:31

So crazy. We we've used the word a lot today of connection. And you never know what that you the the connection you might be for someone else, right? One of my one of my favorite songs, I can't I don't even know the name of it. But there's a phrase in it that just says, one awkward moment. Yes. Right? And and the whole meaning behind the song is that just take that one awkward moment.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

You might be the one to save a life. Right. Right. And I think too often we're like, I know. I I shouldn't call. Like he doesn't want to hear from me. I don't want to be that person. And and we sit and we convince ourselves not to take that step. But I I fully believe, and I'm working really hard to be better at it, that when someone comes to my mind, I just reach out.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

I might it might be that one awkward moment.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:20

Right? But I'm gonna be willing to do it. I'm gonna do my best to do it every time.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Yep. And I like like I said, I think it goes both ways. That awkward moment. You might be feeling down, you might be nobody cares. More people care than you think. For sure. You know?

SPEAKER_03 22:37

Yeah. It is so true.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

It is. Like you said, we have to put ourselves out there. There's times that I don't want to go somewhere or I don't want to talk to somebody, but every time I force myself to do it, I get so much out of it.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

I know I'm helping somebody.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

Yeah. How would you answer the question today, in this moment, of what's your purpose?

SPEAKER_01 22:58

My purpose is to help people through what I've lived.

SPEAKER_03 23:02

Yeah. I love it. Well, friends, just know this. You can be that one person, right? You can you can experience those hard things in life and learn from them and be that one person to help someone else through it. Um, just don't ever give up.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Thank you for joining me on Waking the Why. If today's story moved you, share it with someone who needs it. And don't forget, your why is worth waking up for