Episode 24 True Love Versus Lust

Episode 24 ..

True Love Versus Lust

Twin Flame Connection..

I would Absolutely Love to Hear from you..

email sleeeplessingranada@yahoo.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hello and a huge big Scottish welcome. Episode 24, Sleepless in Granada. I've had a very busy morning. I was washing down all the tiles at the back of the house. Granada can get very dusty in the summer, but I'm now relaxing with a big glass of lemon iced tea. Ah, now that's better. My furry girls are snoozing in the early morning sun. It's very peaceful here. Even the birds are quiet today. So let's talk about relationships. Is it love or is it lust? Is it true love or a complex trauma bond? How do we know that we're falling in love? Here are a few lines from the incredible Rainer Marie Rilke. To love is good too. Love being difficult, for one human being to love another, that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. For this reason, young people who are beginners in everything cannot yet know love. They have to learn it with their whole being, with all their forces. gather close about their lonely, timid, upward-beating heart. They must learn to love, but learning. Time is always a long, secluded time, and so loving. For a long while ahead and far into their life is solitude, intensified and deepened, loneliness for him who loves. Love is at first not anything that means merging. giving over and uniting with another. And this is so true. Falling in love doesn't mean losing control. It's the moment you finally choose it without fear. Love isn't something that happens to you. Love is what happens and shows up the second that you stop hiding. As I previously said in another of my episodes, most people don't fall into love. They fall into projection, into fantasy and into escape. But real love doesn't make you feel more. It makes you safer to be seen and to be heard. You no longer need the mask of pretence. You can lower your defences. You can listen, not to reply, but to understand. You protect their mind, body and soul. You care more about their peace of mind than you do about your own pride. What kind of love do you crave? the kind of love that consumes you or the kind of love that calls you home. The first kind of love is like an addiction. The second kind is like the truth. And here's the kicker. This is when you really know. It's when you feel more like yourself around them than you feel when you're on your own. This is not chemistry. This is total alignment. That's the shift and that's the fall. Falling in love, it's not about losing yourself. It's about becoming someone you trust again with your person beside you. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free. I heard this quote a long, long time ago and it's stuck in my head ever since. Here is how you know someone loves you. Real love doesn't grip you in its clutches. Real love doesn't guilt trip. nor does it punish. Real love doesn't shrink you to keep you near. You know someone loves you when they're proud of you, even when you sparkle and shine without them. Your person listens not because they want to fix you. They listen because they want to feel you. They want to feel the real you. They allow you to be your authentic self. They don't want to remould you so that you match their desires or their fears. There are two kinds of love. There's the kind of love where you're like the gilded songbird with the clipped wings sitting in your little cage, where your life is full of terms and conditions, huge expectations and total control. The other is where you feel so at home, where you can fly, where you can breathe, where you can speak your truth without fear of reprisals. You can still be yourself and still be cherished and wanted and desired. So are you still thinking, is this love or is it something else? Just ask yourself, does your person make you feel free or do they make you feel afraid? Sadly, my answer would be the latter. One of the hardest goodbyes is when we love someone and at the same time, we know that it's impossible to build a healthy relationship with them. Staying means to continue waiting for changes that you know will never come, tolerating actions that hurt your very core, accepting the minimum effort, losing ourselves in the attempt not to lose them. We know walking away will fucking hurt like nothing else on this mortal coil. It will be a long and winding road to healing. Staying will continue to open up those wounds that fester and rot our bodies and souls more and more. Sometimes we have to choose to leave, not because of the lack of love towards this person, but because it is our own love that makes us take care of ourselves. And with that love, you find the strength somehow to leave. And in the infamous words of Frank Sinatra, regrets I've had a few, fuck I. The meaning of true, raw, real love. I hate to say this, but most humans will go through their entire lifetime and never experience the meaning of actual, true love. It's even slightly depressing to think that most people will never understand how powerful this picture actually is. Gentlemen is a prime example of how men should be treating their partner with every day that passes. We unfortunately live in a generation with men who have no idea what it takes to be a real man. Let me give you a couple of examples of what a real man is. A real man asks about your day and genuinely cares about the answer. A real man respects your boundaries and never forces you to do something you're not ready to do. He makes time for you and takes that time to learn and understand who you are as a person. A real man consistently shows you the definition of effort with every day that passes. He will call you randomly throughout the day just to check on you and your mental health, a real man is undeniably committed to you and looks for new ways to fall in love with you with each and every day that passes. He makes protecting your heart a number one priority. A real man never makes permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. He never confuses you to where you stand in his life. A real man apologises when he's wrong and stays true to his character he doesn't mind hurting other people's feelings to protect yours a real man gives you affection without sexual expectation a real man refuses to entertain any other woman that isn't you he has genuine intentions with you from day one and shows you how it truly feels to be a priority rather than an option a real man will help you heal from the trauma that nobody ever apologised A real man values you and would never put themselves in a position where they would lose you. Take my advice and wait for the man that never lets you fall asleep at night, questioning your own values and self-esteem. We were always enough and we always will be. This time I will wait for the man who smudges my lipstick and not my mascara. Sometimes it's not the absence of love, but the absence of friendship that makes a relationship so very unhappy. Real love is about partnership. It's not ownership. The foundation of true love isn't passion. It's actually safety. It's not about how loud we scream, I love you. It's about how quiet we are. And still, our nervous system is when they're about. You know you're enough without having to ask. You just feel it. You know it. You sense it. You no longer have to prove anything. You feel and know you're seen and heard. When you argue, you no longer have the desire to win. Instead, you try to understand. There's no need to pretend. There's no acting. You allow them in 100%. You let down all your titanium barriers. Ask yourself this. Do you want the love where your human admires you? Or do you want the kind where your person wants to understand you? The first love drains you. The second builds you up and enhances you. Now here's the tester. Stop fantasising about who you want them to be. Here's the thing. You admire them already for who they simply are. It's the solid foundations you build together, not the explosive firecrackers. It's speaking about the tough stuff. It's setting boundaries. It's respect. It's not about who makes your heart race. It's about who makes your heart rest easy. Now let's talk lust versus love. Love gives, lust takes. Lust is simple, it's primal, it's primitive, it's erotic, it's exhilaration. It gives you instant gratification. Lust has no respect for boundaries. Love takes time. effort, patience, compromise and sacrifice. Love is a choice. It's a practice. You see your person's hidden soul. You get to glimpse at the light within. You believe that your person's happiness is as important as your own happiness. Lust fades when the thrill has gone. But love stays, even when things go wrong. If another human only wants you when you're perfect, that's lust. Lust can be selfish. Lust says, I desire you because you make me feel good. But love says, I choose you even when you fuck up and you're a stupid, stupid human. So many people are blinded by physical that they never look deeper. And that's called vacuous. So many relationships that start with lust end and become nothing more than memories. When you mistake lust for love, one day you will wake up and realise you are chasing a great feeling and not that incredible connection. Every night you can fill your bed with anyone who's looking for sex, but your heart and your soul, nah. These parts of you, you can't fill with just anyone, with just a body. You can have someone warm next to you in bed, skin on skin and still feel empty and completely alone. In the morning, when you look over at them, your spirit is still empty because lust and desire are so easy to come by. Attraction and pleasure are easy. And that total connection, well, that's rare. It's special. It's the ultimate prize. In this very open world where everyone posts their lives on social media, humans confuse attention with love. They confuse company with care. And they confuse sex with connection. Our soul cannot be touched by the human hand. It is felt in silence and it's understood in the heart. You can jump from bed to bed trying to fill that deep void, but really all you're doing is deepening the emptiness because when that lusty rush fades, when the room goes quiet, when you're left staring at the ceiling in the dark, that's when it will hit you. That's when you will know the difference between filling a body and filling your life. Real love isn't about convenience. Real love isn't about who will call back. Real love is all about respect. It's about being present and it's about truth. Real love is about knowing your person. Knowing that your person really sees you, the real you. All of you, the good and the bad and the ugly. And still they choose you over and over again. They choose to stay. Pleasure without love, no matter how fantastic, is still shallow. And the pain you leave behind, ach, it still cuts deeper than the high of getting your fix ever reached. Stop confusing comfort with commitment. Stop chasing bodies for sex when what you desperately crave is to be understood. to be felt, to be seen and heard. It's not about who you fuck, it's about who your soul rests easy with. Time doesn't define love. Deep connection does, no matter how long you've been with your person. If that connection isn't there, if your soul isn't ignited, if your heart doesn't feel seen, it's not real love. Someday, out of the blue, when you least expect it, wham! You will meet that someone who will change everything. Someone who will make you feel in ways that you've never felt possible, never felt before. Their presence is your peace. Their laughter is yours. Their touch is fire to your soul. And for the first time, you realize that love isn't something you need to fight for. No need to fight to hold on to love. This love is effortless. It flows with ease. Everything in your world changes. True love doesn't leave you feeling exhausted. True love lifts and strengthens you. You become the very best version of you. You see just how deeply they connect with your heart and your soul. There's no need to be constantly questioning true love. Time spent in the wrong relationships was never a waste of time. These relationships showed you what love isn't. And please remember this, never settle for less than what sets your soul on fire. twin flames when you both become so close so quickly it feels as if you've known each other your entire lives conversations flow so effortlessly your long telephone conversations feel like minutes time flies past your silences are comfortable every moment spent in each other's company it just feels so right as if The missing jigsaw puzzle has finally fallen into place. It's as if your souls have recognised each other even before your minds had a chance to catch up. This is the most magical of connections, where trust isn't built over time. It was instantaneous, as if your souls were patiently waiting. To have this unexplainable deep knowing that this human was meant to be in your life No need to explain anything. You just get each other. Your laughter syncs with theirs. Your inner child smiles. Your pain is shared without the need for the spoken word. Their warmth and presence feels like you have come home. If you ever have a bond like this, hold onto it tightly. Cherish, protect and nurture it. Connections like this are so rare. It has nothing to do with the length of time you've known each other. It's about the depth of understanding you share. In this world of fakery, finding someone real is nothing short of extraordinary. Thank you for listening. I would absolutely love to hear from you. Email me, sleeplessandgrenada at yahoo.com. Next episode to follow shortly.