From Acquaintances to Accountability: Creating Meaningful Christian Brotherhood (EP 275)

🎯Join us for the Men of Iron Clay Shoot on June 21st
https://menofiron.org/clay-shoot/

📖 Free 30-Day Devotional – Reignite your spiritual disciplines!
👉 http://www.menofiron.org/30daydevo

🏡Get our Family Restored Workbook from Amazon
👉 https://www.amazon.com/Family-Restored-Transformative-5-week-Devotional/dp/B0F1Z5RHG9
💪 Core5 Assessment – Thrive in your Core5
👉 http://www.menofiron.org/5f-actionplan
👕 Limited Edition Apparel – Rep the mission with exclusive gear!
👉https://men-of-iron-shop.fourthwall.com
🔥 Support the Mission – Help change a culture, one man at a time!
👉 http://www.menofiron.org/donate
📩 Contact Us – Let’s connect!
👉 http://www.menofiron.org/contact-us

How do I find the right circle of friends to grow my faith? Why is being in a men’s group important for spiritual growth? What are practical ways to discover and use my God-given gifts?

Welcome to the MOI Podcast! In this episode, Ryan and Colton dive deep into how the people around you impact your faith, the power of brotherhood, and why you need a strong circle of like-minded men to truly thrive. Whether you’re trying to strengthen your walk with God, searching for authentic friendships, or looking for ways to use your gifts this episode is for you.

We’ll answer questions like:
How do you intentionally build friendships that draw you closer to God?
What’s the difference between acquaintances and real accountability partners?
How can you discover your unique gifts and put them to work in your faith, family, business, and community?

Ryan and Colton share practical steps, real stories, and faith-based wisdom to help you take your next step. Plus, find out how to join free groups and grab devotional resources in the links below!

📩 Contact Us – Let’s connect!
👉 http://www.menofiron.org/contact-us

📥 Free devotionals & resources: 📖 Free 30-Day Devotional – Reignite your spiritual disciplines!
👉 http://www.menofiron.org/30daydevo

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share! Change your life by changing your circle. #Faith #MensGroup #ChristianGrowth #Brotherhood #Mentorship

Subscribe for more episodes that ignite your core five: faith, family, friends, fitness, and finances!

Transcript

Colton [00:00:00]:
We always say this, and I know it's like an old timer saying, but show me your friends and I'll show you your future. And I think that right there is like, who am I putting around me? And are they actually pushing me closer to my relationship with God?

Justin [00:00:14]:
Hey, welcome to the Men of Iron podcast. This month, we are diving into faith. At Men of Iron, we want you to thrive in your core five. That is your faith, family, friends, fitness, and finances. And so this month, we're just trying to give you some tangible ways that you could grow a little bit closer to God, take your faith a little bit more seriously. One of the ways you can do that is in the links in the description below the podcast. We have free resources that you can use as devotionals if you need something like that. You could also get involved in our next group, which actually tees up our topic for today. There's this idea of corporate disciplines, which is like, a little bit more formal sounding than we really need it to be. Straight up, you need other guys in your life. You need to be around other men who. Who are also taking their faith seriously and can encourage you and sharpen you to do the same. So we talk about mentorship a lot. We're actually not talking mentorship today. We're talking being involved in the right circles of people that are trying to get closer to God, that are taking their faith more seriously. Sometimes we do that in groups, sometimes we do that in churches. Sometimes you see that in your businesses when you're connected to other guys that love the Lord and want to honor Him. So, uh, let's dive into what it looks like just to follow God together with other men.

Colton [00:01:29]:
I think that piece right there is just the sum of like, how do I get other guys around me? Yeah, like, you know, you gotta. You. We always say this, and I know it's like an old timer saying, but show me your friends and I'll show you your future.

Justin [00:01:43]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:01:44]:
And I think that right there is like, who am I putting around me? And are they actually pushing me closer to my relationship with God? Because I can go back on my friend listen from a long time ago, and I can tell you who's not there and who is, and I can tell you the reasons why they're there and why they're not. And being intentional with it as well. That's something that I've been over this last probably years. Being really intentional with friendships. Like, I am not. I'm not being. Going crazy on, trying to have all this time so I can Spend a bunch of time with people. No, I want to find people that are going to pour into me and actually it may not even be like a true mentor, but it's just a friend that I can go to. It's like, hey, like, can you give me some godly advice on this, on what I should do or just point me in the right direction? Direction, because you, you have four kids and I'm trying to figure out how I should raise my son. Or you're, you've been married for so long. Like, how can I help me navigate these pieces? And I think having those guys around me has really benefited me. Beyond that I'll probably ever know because they're speaking from 10, 15, 20 years of experience and I'm like in the first couple months of it, trying to navigate. So those guys have been so crucial in my life and putting them in there for me.

Justin [00:02:49]:
So I think there's, there's two things we want to touch on today. One is that you definitely need to be involved in a circle of other men who love the Lord and are striving to take their faith seriously. They're going to help you grow to know God and know your purpose. You're going to help them grow to know God and know their purpose. Sometimes you're going to be the one speaking into them, sometimes they're going to be the ones speaking into you. You gotta be plugged into some kind of circle like that. Because we're not designed to live outside of relationship with other people. We feel like we should all the time. It's very, very tempting to just like close fisted white knuckle your life, but you're going to get wore out and you're going to get lost and confused because you don't have people that have your back. And so in a couple months, we'll be talking all about friends. We'll be talking a lot about different aspects of friendship. But right up front, who are the people in your life that draw you closer to the Lord? One of the things I like to highlight is it's, it's easy to have acquaintances. That's not a bad thing. You know, like I like to put together a deer drive, hang out with guys at camp. That's awesome. Catch a football game, you know, go do something together with a group of guys, whatever. Most likely most of those guys are acquaintances and they're not actually like true friends that are going to hold you accountable and push you closer to the Lord. If you don't have those, you know that you don't have them. And we're telling you that you need them and you gotta find them. Because if you don't have them, your actual life. And I, I would actually say your faith will suffer to some degree because you're not surrounded by like minded men that want to get closer to God, that want to honor Jesus with their lives. And so you gotta find that circle. You gotta get involved in that circle. And one of the things I encouraged earlier, like you gotta tell the truth in those circles, it's okay to that you're not perfect. Guess what? I'm not perfect. Colton's not perfect. Nobody's perfect. So tell the truth, because when you paint this fake picture of who you are, the only person you hurt is yourself. Great. Everyone else is impressed about the person that's not actually even you. Like, what? What are you doing? Come on.

Colton [00:04:54]:
I think that when you're talking about getting involved in groups, I've led a couple groups.

Justin [00:04:58]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:04:59]:
Just from what I do here at Men of Iron. And one of my first groups was Anchored Man. And in that group I was, it was the first time actually me leading this group and we're discussing these things. Guys are opening up and I'm, I'm sitting there watching and it was actually a virtual group that I, that I led and watching these guys open up and I was like, huh? These guys trust each other. And it happened quick. Because of that. Being honest and being vulnerable in that situation of making the Anchorman was the platform for them to do that. And when we get those other guys around us, we still all text each other. Like we, like we're still connected. I'm still connecting with Kevin. He's at Encounter Church. Like I'm still connected with him, still connected with Junior who's been on the pod with us a couple times. Like I'm still around these guys that can keep me accountable in certain areas. Or I know, like they're almost like the expert in that space for me that I can go to when I'm struggling in something. But when you get involved in those small groups like that, they actually are creating like, almost like a safe space where I can be vulnerable. I can put my guards down and, and help be held accountable in those areas. Same way in man's game plan. Just led a man's game plan a couple weeks ago. And just talking through that of guys actually being like, hey, I'm struggling in this area, I have this addiction in this. And can you show me a way to kind of get out of this? And watching these other Guy, other five guys in the group speak into that, whether they are struggling with maybe the same thing or maybe have recovered from it or on the other side and can give the advice to speak in having those guys have been crucial. And watching these groups like to continue on past the five weeks. Like it's just not like I love that our stuff is five weeks, but I want these groups to continue past the five week. It's not a five week get, I'll get better program. No, it's I'm creating lasting relationships that are going to take me further beyond.

Justin [00:06:47]:
That's what we're built to be a part of. God has designed us to enjoy relationship with other people that are running in step with him. And it makes you stronger, not weaker. Sure. We can list any lone wolf guy that's like the best guy ever. Most likely he's completely pretend no one actually exists like that. The actual real tough guys that do tough things, they almost universally do it together. Why do people love band of Brothers? It's like a group of guys that took on something incredibly difficult together. Right. Like any, any number of movies, they did it together. Braveheart wasn't out on his own. He had all those blue faced guys behind him. Right. So we're designed for that. And it universally always makes you stronger, not weaker. It is a complete total lie that you can do this by yourself, that you need to project something that's not real. Find some brothers that you can stick with that can hold you up, that can support you. Your life will benefit from it and your faith will benefit from it. Because again, these like minded guys that want to honor the Lord with their lives. You're highlighting some of the products we have. Yeah. The link in our description, you can check that stuff out. It's, it's not exclusive to us. Like just find guys are going to hold you accountable that are going to push you further. And if you really want extra credit, set a goal, small goal, share it with somebody else, ask them to hold you accountable. It's really interesting. This is sidetracked extra credit. When you set a goal and you keep it to yourself, you have like a thief 3% chance of actually accomplishing that goal. When you tell someone else about that goal, you have like a 65% chance of accomplishing that goal, which is like a huge jump. When you invite that person to check on you and hold you accountable in an active way. It's like a 96% chance that you're going to accomplish the goal. It's almost guaranteed. Guys. So this is why you need to be surrounded by like minded guys that want to honor the Lord with their lives and, and can push you to do the same thing.

Colton [00:08:45]:
You know, when we're serving and I love how we're kind of starting at this spot because we talk about the mountain and how you kind of go up the mountain base camp and then you go talk about these ridgeline stuff and you may not be ready for a mentorship.

Justin [00:08:58]:
Right.

Colton [00:08:58]:
You, that may be something that you want. Maybe that is a goal down the road is like hey, I do want to get in that mentorship but I kind of just want to see what it's like, like to actually be vulnerable with guys and see if, if I'm, I can be open and I open up and talk about things that I'm struggling with it with other guys. I think having those, that small group or use using whatever it is, I don't care if it's men of iron or not. If you're just get in a small group where you have those guys to be able to speak into you, you'll be able to see like it's going to start to reveal things to you piece by piece on like actually I do probably need more accountability in this area. I do need to be a little bit sharper maybe with my family. I need these different things and having that maybe to be able to even pinpoint that one guy use that small group. Maybe that's the goal of the smart group. Hey, I need to find a mentor. Maybe he's in that group to be able to help you navigate that, to get to that point of being like, hey, I need a mentorship. Can you mentor me in my life and in my relationships that I have? I think that's so cool because a lot of guys don't think they're qualified to do it.

Justin [00:10:00]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:10:00]:
And I know we're going to get into mentorship next week and I don't want to, I don't want to put the cart before the horse. But like a lot of guys don't think they're, that they're, they're made up, have the right, right, right juice to do it or the right stuff to make it happen. But as we were talking about a little bit earlier, these guys have 10, 20, 30 years of experience and maybe an area that I'm just starting out in. You are well qualified to be able to speak into someone's life on maybe if it's only a season ahead. I'm not saying you have to have 30 years of an Experience. Maybe it's just a season ahead, but I. I can be a testament to a guy that's just a little bit further than me and how much my time with. Even in my mentorship piece, how we've actually taught each other a lot, and it wasn't just a one sided. That guy's just always speaking to me, and I just take notes and I sit there. No, I have been able to create these friends around me that have allowed me to grow and really flourish.

Justin [00:10:51]:
So this is a. This is a month on faith. We're highlighting faith. You might be listening, thinking, like, well, it sounds like all you're talking about is groups. We're not. What we're saying is being surrounded by other guys that want to follow the Lord and want to commit their lives to building God's kingdom is a critical part of your life. You've been designed for it. If you don't have it, you need it. Guys are really good at rejecting it. Like, I just don't. I don't have time for that. You know, my kids are busy. I'm driving all around the county. I got to do all this stuff. Yeah, I get it. You got stuff. Everybody has stuff. What I have found is that you always have time to do the things that you want to do. And so this is something radically important in your faith development. If you want to take your faith seriously, you need to do it. And again, it's not just hanging out for fun. It's actually hanging out to sharpen each other, to help each other be more effective at following Jesus with your lives. Like, we are trying to build a legacy that outlasts ourselves. And we are building God's kingdom, not our own kingdom. We do that together with other men who love and follow Jesus. Uh, the other thing we want to touch on today is that all of us have been gifted in unique ways. I'm not Colton. Colton's not me. Chad's behind the camera. I'm not Chad. Chad's not me. Chad's not Colton. We all have unique gifts and talents that have been given to us by God to build his kingdom. And so if you're listening to me, you've been made in God's image. Whether you're following Jesus right now or not. God has given you unique gifts and talents. If you're. If you're not taking your faith seriously, you probably don't even know what they are. You probably haven't discovered them, but they're in there because God has given them to you as a free gift. But the purpose of those gifts is to be actively building his kingdom together, paired up with other people and their gifts and their talents. So one of the ways you'll hear about this a lot is in church services. Like, hey, you have a talent. Go serving kids. Men, that's great. If you're in church, Go serving kids. Man, that's fantastic. I think it's much bigger than that. I think that we all have been gifted in a unique way to push our brothers in Christ to serve God more effectively. Do that in church, do that in your business, do that in your backyard. Figure out what it looks like to serve and serve well again. You always have time for the things you want to do. Honor God with your life, honor God with your gifts, and serve. What's that look like for you, man?

Colton [00:13:20]:
Got me. My mind's racing on a bunch of things right now. I think for me growing up in church, one of the biggest things for me is like, I only can do this in these four walls. I can't, I can't. I can't take my faith out of these four walls and show it in my community, my job, my work. Like all these different things. Like, it's just like, it's a four wall. It's a four wall faith. Right? Like, this is what it is for me. And like have like even just challenging guys on that right there. The gate.

Justin [00:13:46]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:13:46]:
Like take what you are learning and apply it in those different areas of your life where you are showing up. Whether it's a job, maybe it's family, whatever it may be, like taking, taking what God has given you to further the kingdom. Get it out of the four walls of the church and go affect the community whether and whoever you're impacting. And that's what we talk about all the time. That ripple effect, like sometimes like I was very, I can say this right out of the gate. I was very. That four wall. Like, why I only, I only pray in church. Yeah, I only do this in church. I only read my Bible in church. But actually applying that outside of those.

Justin [00:14:18]:
Four walls, you get pinned into this thing that's like, well, you could, you can only do it from 9 to 10 on Sunday, which is silly. Like, that's not God. God did not give you unique gifts and talents so that you could do one thing for one hour. That's just not like, go ahead, go do that thing. Help those people. They're. They're building God's kingdom. They're trying to push the mission forward. Lots of us are trying to push the mission forward. I'm involved in a church. Like. Like, I get it, but, like, a transformational part of my life. When I was young, I was just starting off in college, and I had this guy that. That challenged me. He's like, you know, what's. What's your personal history? I was like, what do you mean? So I try to give him, like, my. My faith testimony. Like, the story of my faith. No, no, no, no. What'd you grow up doing? And I was like, well, like, I grew up doing construction. Like, I've been helping build houses since I was 10. He's like, well, that's a gift God's given to you. Like, you didn't accidentally grow up in a contractor's house. God wants you to have those skills. What's it look like for you to offer those skills to other people when they're in need? And so my whole life has been marked by that. Like, the other day, I was over fixing a pipe for my buddy. I was patching some drywall at another guy's house. Like, it's a talent that I have that I believe is from God. I believe everything we have is from God. So if you're good at something, you're good at that because God has enabled you to do it, and it's intended to support other people. So, yeah, do it in your church. Awesome. But a lot of our life is outside of our church, so do it at your job. Do it for your buddies. That group of guys we're talking about that we want you surrounded by, like, help them out. Use your gifts and talents. And they're. They're radically different. You know, like, everybody's doing different things. I just. I just believe everything we have is from God. And I think he's given it to us to support other people and ultimately honor Him. And so if you can live your life in a way where you're just constantly serving, you're honoring God and how you're serving because one, you're bringing honor the gift he gave you, and two, you're strengthening other men, other families, other believers to. To really be empowered to know and follow Jesus with their life.

Colton [00:16:22]:
One thing I wanted to ask you, and this is something I was just thinking through. How do I find what that gift is? Because we could have guys out there, right, that are like, well, I'm. You know, I'm trying to figure it out, or what it looks like, or maybe I think it's this. Like, how do you navigate trying to get down to that gift?

Justin [00:16:38]:
I get it. I Get it? Like, it. It feels really complicated. I'm telling you. Like, so, okay, so if you want, like, the straight up Bible answer, there's. There's Bible passages about spiritual gifts. I believe those are gifts from God. There's. There's serving, there's teaching, there's evangelizing. There's like, you probably know the list. I think it's like, what, like Romans 12 is one. I think First Corinthians 11 or 12 is one. I mean, you just search spiritual gifts. I'm telling you, it was transformational. When I met that guy, early on my life, that was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Of course there's spiritual gifts. Get it. Great. Do it. He was just talking skills. Like, just actual basic things. Like, I know how to fix cars. Great. Help your buddy fix his car. So when. When I was living in Florida, I was like, serving in a capacity there, in a. In a ministry there. I was fixing cars a lot and just to help people. So I think there's this really interesting blend of, yes, spiritual gifts. Like, there are. There are certainly things that God has given to us that directly strengthen our faith. I also think that there's experiences and skills that we just have a knack for. I think that's from God, too. And I think it is. Like, man, maybe you can cook. Maybe you know how to. Maybe you got, like, an engineering mind. You can do some planning. Maybe you got some administration. You're pretty good at that. You can do that. I just. Sometimes I think we do ourself a disservice when we try to pigeonhole ourselves into, like, these 10 things. I think what I'm trying to express is, like, God really is present in our lives and we're taking our faith seriously. God's going to move and work in our lives and empower us to do things for other people. Yeah, spiritually, of course, but also just tangibly, you know, Like, I don't. I don't know what that looks like for every man, but you do. Like, you know what your skills are and you know what your talents are and you know how to use them. You know, so maybe maybe kind of back off that, like, mystical. Oh, what is it? And how do I discover it? Yeah, okay. Like, go on that journey and try to figure it out. But, like, also, you know, stuff you're good at. So start there. Like, what is the stuff you're good at and how can you serve somebody else with it?

Colton [00:18:48]:
That, for me, right there, I think even for my family, we love to cook.

Justin [00:18:52]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:18:52]:
I'll give you a prime example. And I love to barbecue. I love getting the old smoker out. And for a while, people ask me, you really like doing this? You really like the pressure of it or the stress of cooking for all this or doing that? But I see it for us, even as my family, like, God's given us a gift that we can actually cook good food, and people like to eat it. But it actually what we. We can use that for as a vehicle to bring them closer to Christ, to be able to have an opportunity to maybe even possibly talk to them about Christ, because they can take a bite of food, and that's what brought them. It wasn't anything about God the whole way to that point. It was like, man, that was great brisket. Awesome.

Justin [00:19:28]:
And they just appreciate being cared for.

Colton [00:19:30]:
Exactly.

Justin [00:19:31]:
I think about that retreat we just did, like, the dude that's cooking brisket out front, there was a guy cooking brisket, There was a guy cooking fries. They were good at it because the food was good, and it directly supported everything was happening. Like, we can over spiritualize stuff to where it feels like such a high calling. Nobody can hit it. This is like, dude, can you make meat and can you make fries? Great. Help us. There was a dude that ran the clay chute, and, like, he just sat on the launcher and launched clays. But he, like, had it organized and was like, this is awesome. There was, like, some administration involved, but we had a blast. It strengthened the brotherhood of those guys. Like, that's what I'm saying. Don't over spiritualize it. Don't overthink it. Because every time we overthink it, every time we over spiritualize it, sometimes we miss just the simple, basic things. They're like, hey, can you help? Great. That's a gift from God, you know?

Colton [00:20:16]:
Yeah.

Justin [00:20:16]:
Um, and. And again, not everybody's gonna make brisket. Not everybody's gonna be good at throwing clays. Not everybody's gonna be good at shooting clays. We've seen that firsthand. Um, it. There's just different ways that you can support that you can help. And I think one of the things is just being willing to show up and say, hey, what can I do here? Because, again, we are actively building God's kingdom, so how can we support other people that are interested in that same things that we're building a legacy that outlasts ourselves. It's incredibly important, and everybody has something to bring to the table. Hey, thanks for joining us for the podcast. This week, we will be closing out our series on faith next week, diving specifically into mentorship. It's an episode you are not going to want to miss because you will directly benefit from it. If you need help in strengthening your faith, there are a bunch of links in the description below this podcast. You can click, you can find some free resources, or you can join our next group, which is exactly what we talked about today. You will benefit from being connected to other guys that are trying to grow in their faith and are willing to do it together. We'll see you again next week. Thanks for listening to the Men of Iron podcast. Be sure to, like, subscribe and share at Men of Iron. We exist to change a culture one man at a time, and we'd love to have you partner with us. So go to menaviron. Org to see how you can get involved or donate at menaviron. Org. Donate.