Men of Iron: Building Legacy and Purpose Through Meaningful Mentorship (EP 276)

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How do I find a mentor as a man?
What does faith-based mentorship really look like?
Why is accountability crucial for spiritual growth?

In this eye-opening episode of the MOI (Men of Iron) Podcast, hosts Ryan and Colton break down how one simple step—mentorship—can radically transform your faith, purpose, and legacy. Discover why so many men want mentorship but hesitate to ask for help, and learn actionable steps to confidently approach a potential mentor. Hear powerful stories about real-life transformations, faith accountability, and how investing in another man can spark lasting cultural change. Whether you're searching for guidance, want to get plugged into a mentorship group, or are ready to be challenged in your walk with God, this episode has the tools and encouragement you need.

#ChristianMen #MensMentorship #FaithGrowth #PurposeDrivenMen #MenOfFaith

Transcript

Ryan Zook [00:00:00]:
Like. Like, we have the opportunity to see so many guys transformed in a radical way from something that's pretty simple. One guy investing in another guy. Is that fair? Hey, welcome back to the Men of Iron podcast. If you are a man that wants to know God, know your purpose. If you want to grow in your faith, that's what we're talking about this month. There are links in the description of this podcast where you can get some free resources that can help you in that area of your life. You can join a group that we offer, or you can get involved in a mentorship, which is exactly what we're talking about today. At Men of Iron, we exist to get every man we can into a mentorship where one man, just a few seasons ahead of another man is investing in that guy, and both of them are striving to know God and know their purpose. That's how we intend to change a culture, one man at a time. That's the nuts and bolts of it. So I'm excited to talk about how faith intertwines with mentorship. We say all the time that if you're not taking your faith seriously, you're going to miss on everything else. So, Colton, like, what. How have you seen mentorship be a part of your life?

Colton [00:01:05]:
Why?

Ryan Zook [00:01:06]:
Why do you think it's important?

Colton [00:01:08]:
I would say, starting now, mentorship. I probably didn't know it was mentorship. Yeah, I think that was probably my first piece. We were going back a couple of weeks ago writing some, like, people that have spoken to our lives and. And those were probably my first true mentors. And growing up, like, my mom always said that, like, it takes a village to raise a child, but it was for the church, for me. And being in the church, there was godly men that I had in my life that I probably. I didn't put the name tag on that mentor, but they actually were pointing me the correct direction, whether I actually knew it or not or maybe even didn't realize it by the things they were telling me, the way that they were teaching me, maybe in my youth group or just whatever it may be. That was probably my first, like, I would say probably, like, mentorship that I didn't know was happening. And then probably the next stage of it was actually taking it serious and being intentional with it, of actually, okay, I had these guys in my life that were, you know, pointing me in the right direction. It wasn't my dad. Right. Because that. That got older. I got familiar with it. Or I didn't. I didn't. I got that teenage years I know better than my dad, you know, that kind of, that's a thing. But then that kind of turned right, right to being like, I gotta, I gotta take ownership of this thing. This isn't my parents faith anymore. This is. I have to have ownership. I have to be accountable to it. And that's when I started to introduce like people to actually speak into my life. And I wanted them to actually tell me, yes, that's correct. No, that's not correct. And give me guidance. And that started out a little bit, probably in my like late 20s to now, really, over the last year, really with being Men of Iron, I've been really like hammering it home. I'm in a mentorship and actually taking that stuff super serious.

Ryan Zook [00:02:48]:
Okay. So it would be possible to look at that and be like, okay, of course you do that because now you work for Men of Iron, so. And we're a mentorship organization ultimately. But I would bet, and you can speak into this because I had a similar experience, I actually believe it. Like, like we have the opportunity to see so many guys transformed in a radical way from something that's pretty simple. Yeah. One guy investing in another guy. Is that fair?

Colton [00:03:13]:
100% fair. And I think it's something that you can almost not. You can take it really lightly. Like it's just, it's just like, oh, this guy's just talking to me.

Ryan Zook [00:03:22]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:03:22]:
Or we're just meeting for a coffee every two weeks.

Ryan Zook [00:03:25]:
Right.

Colton [00:03:25]:
You can take it very lightly. But I can definitely see, even just personally myself actually writing. Because we use smart goals.

Ryan Zook [00:03:32]:
Yep.

Colton [00:03:32]:
Writing an actual smart goal down and saying, I'm going to do this in my faith. Something simple to help grow it. Whether it was reading my Bible, whether it was using some of the resources we have here at Men of Iron to help sharpen me by actually holding me accountable, that I could actually see my faith begin to grow. And it's not because I work here, because I can tell you right now, when I first started, they were telling me, you need to get into a mentorship. And I was like, when do I got time for that? That's real. Like, it's like, what? Like you need to get a mentor. You should have a protege as well. But let's first start with your mentor. Yeah, like find yourself a mentor first. And it's like, all right, well then you start thinking that through. Like, how do I find one? Like, who's the guy? Do I pick? Do I just pick someone that I'm really close to? Or do I Pick someone that's actually going to challenge me. And I think that's, like, a piece that I would love to jump into a little bit. Like, how do I find that mentor?

Ryan Zook [00:04:22]:
Okay, here's something interesting. I just read about this. 77% of men know they need a mentor and desire to have a mentor. So it's not just. It's not just they're aware. They're like, I actually really need that. Only 31% of men will actively seek a mentor. So what's interesting about that is when you ask somebody to mentor you, the odds are very high that that guy you're talking to is actually interested in helping you and interested in getting some help himself. We talk a lot about how, like, the. We say protege. That's the. That's the guy that's being mentored. Both people benefit in that the mentor grows, the protege grows. But the stats. And that was. That was based on a survey that was taken in, like, 2019. So the stats may have changed. I bet they've gotten better, actually. It's just crazy how the surveys show. People want help, men want help. What's working against us? We don't like to ask for help. So again, I talked to you last week. Let's not overcomplicate it. How do you go about finding a mentor? You have to ask. And if you don't ask, guess what? You won't find one. Can men of iron help you do that? Of course we can help you do that. That's one of the things we're very good at. We can help you with that. But also, you can find a mentor. You gotta ask for help, and you will benefit from it. So we're talking about mentorship as a faith discipline. We believe that mentorship is critical for taking your faith seriously, for growing in your faith. Because, again, like, you're inviting accountability, you're setting goals to grow. You're scoring yourself. Where am I at with faith? I'm at about a one. Okay, what do we got to do to get to a 2? What's this going to look like? You're going to grow like crazy. When you get plugged into a mentorship, you just have to ask. And a lot of times, what keeps us from asking is just the awkwardness of it, because when's the last time you were in a, you know, conversation where somebody was like, hey, could you mentor me? Like, probably not very often, but again, most men want it. Most men want to be involved in it for. For guys that like being tough and gritty and Strong. We're very scared of asking, which is hilarious, I think.

Colton [00:06:30]:
Two pieces from that. Number one, about the guys that are gritty. They're probably the best guys to get around.

Ryan Zook [00:06:35]:
Oh, yeah.

Colton [00:06:36]:
We were at a retreat this last weekend and they were some of the grittiest probably guys I've seen. Like, tough, rumble, tumble guys. But they. Watching them lead groups during that, during our discussions, and actually like, heading it up and talking to these guys, they have the softest hearts. So just like that piece alone, I think is huge.

Ryan Zook [00:06:55]:
You know. You know what's funny about those, and this is extra credit. It's because they understand that they exist to honor God with their lives. They're not interested in being manly for manliness sake. They're interested in using everything they can in their lives to honor God and build God's kingdom. That's the kind of guys you want to be around. That's the kind of guys that you want to mentor. You don't be afraid to ask and then just watch as your life is transformed. One, because we're pursuing God together. God is always going to honor that. But two, because you're actually inviting somebody else to sharpen you. Like our. Our foundational verse, Proverbs 27:17. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. You need that in your life, and if you don't have it, you've got to get it. You can't do it on your own. You need a mentor. Go find one. Or. Or help, like, have us help you find one.

Colton [00:07:43]:
And I think the. The other side of that is, like, the ask. That was one of my. Like, even though I knew the guy, I was going to ask.

Ryan Zook [00:07:50]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:07:51]:
I was so nervous.

Ryan Zook [00:07:52]:
Yeah. It's still weird.

Colton [00:07:53]:
And I grew up with the guy.

Ryan Zook [00:07:54]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:07:54]:
Like, he's one. He's one of our elders at our church, and that's who I went to. He's poured into my life over the years. He has three kids. He's been married for a long time. So I was like, what perfect guy. I just had a son, you know, my. With my wife. We just got married a couple years ago. To have. So have. He's 20 years ahead of me to be able to pour into my life on these little areas. That's how I pinpointed him. And I think that's so crucial for guys out there. It's like, who do I go after? And we always talk about getting that season ahead. Like, pinpoint those guys in your church. Find who they are, like. Or if it's someone That's a part of your small group or wherever they are at Pinpoint that guy.

Ryan Zook [00:08:31]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:08:32]:
And. And be intentional of going to ask him. And I think that's where we get stumbled up. Like you were saying is, like, that 77%, like, guys want it.

Ryan Zook [00:08:40]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:08:40]:
And I think also from the flip side of it, of asking, but also if someone comes and asks you to be a mentor, don't think you're not qualified to do it. Yeah, of course you are, man. That gets me guys. Like, I don't know. I talk to guys all the time about it.

Ryan Zook [00:08:52]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:08:52]:
I'm saying, man, you'd be a great mentor. Like, they'll be speaking in a small group, and they're giving, like, all these, like. Like tidbits of knowledge, like, gold. And it's like. And they say, hey, you, like, you should mentor. I think you'd be awesome. I don't know. I don't think I can do it. I don't have this stuff. I've never been. I literally look at them in the eyes and say, have you ever went through, like, a trial and God's brought you out on the other side?

Ryan Zook [00:09:11]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:09:11]:
Have you ever went through something in your life that was really difficult and God brought you through it?

Ryan Zook [00:09:14]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:09:15]:
And you don't think that would be valuable for a guy that's probably going through that same thing right now and doesn't know if there's light at the end of that tunnel?

Ryan Zook [00:09:21]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:09:21]:
And those are the guys that are like, huh, you're right.

Ryan Zook [00:09:24]:
I have a. I have a theory right now, and I'm, like, actively testing it all the time. I think every single person knows at least one person that showed up exactly when they needed them to and helped them work through something difficult. I think most of us have more than one person. And this is what has gotten my head spinning on this. I can think through my life. 1. I've been. I've been blessed with an incredible father, so I'm close with my dad. I am constantly asking my dad, hey, how do I handle this? What should I do? Can you help me? Like, how. What do I, you know, whatever. Help me out. And a lot of times I can do pretty well just trying to be like my dad because he's great. I recognize not everybody has that. I'm thankful to have that. There's also this long list of men that have showed up at just the right time. And. And I. My list starts when I'm, like, 17, and it's like 10, 12, 20 guys, and there's Just like this, this handoff the whole way through my life of different kinds of guys. If you. If you lined all these guys up next to each other, one, most of them wouldn't know each other, and two, they're not the same. But they just showed up and they were willing to invest. And my life has benefited in incredible way because of that. So my theory is one, I think you know who that guy is. I think you probably know who those 10 guys are. I want to ask you right now, if you're listening on the podcast, write in the comments right now who that person is, because I think we. We kind of like, demystify mentorship when we just tell the stories. All of us have the stories, tell the stories. And then two, don't you want to do that for somebody else? And we actually get caught up into, like, a weird, prideful thing when it's like, oh, I cannot do that. Yeah, but you benefited from it. Like, aren't you thankful that that guy made space for you? Do that for somebody else, and it kind of like brings the pressure off. It's not this big crazy thing. You're just willing to help. Think about the guys that did it for you, the guys that you're going to write in the comments right now. Think about those guys. It probably wasn't difficult. They probably took you out for. For lunch, they caught you for dinner, they hung out with you. I don't know, you know, you went hunting together or something. It was simple what they did, but it was radically transformational. And a lot of times when you go back to those guys and you tell them that they don't. They don't know. And so, one, I think it helps us to tell the stories. But two, like, just be willing. Like, how can you do that for somebody else? Don't over complicate it. Just be willing to step into someone's life. You're just one or two seasons ahead. Invest in that guy that's one or two seasons behind. Give him a couple tips. You know, help them through difficult decisions. Ask them to score their core five. Faith, family, friends, fitness, finances. Where are you at? What's it look like for you to go from one to two? Where's it. What's it look like from four to five? It's not. It's not crazy hard. And we can help you with that if you want some help.

Colton [00:12:05]:
I think something that we've mentioned these last couple weeks and bring it together is like that legacy piece.

Ryan Zook [00:12:09]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:12:10]:
Like that legacy is going to continue on, because I think And I know this for a fact, that God puts us in situations for a reason. And you never know the situation that you're currently going through, how it's going to be used for someone else in your life. And I think sometimes we can get so caught up in, like, oh, God's doing this to me, and get mad. You can get. That's a whole nother podcast. That's a whole nother. Whole nother piece. Right. But you can get so mad of, like, this is happening in my life. But God may be using it so you can be able to share it with someone else on how you got through it or how God showed up for you in that. So when we're, like, talking, you think of, like, the guy that's a season ahead or my mentor who's, you know, been married for, you know, almost 30 years or whatever. Those pieces of that, that stuff that he went through, that now when I come to him with a question of, like, what you do when, like, you were trying to figure out how to raise your kids.

Ryan Zook [00:13:00]:
Yeah.

Colton [00:13:00]:
Like, what was the framework that you put together to do that? Like, what did discipline look like? How did you, like, what were these different pieces? How did you keep that relationship with your wife, like, once kids got mixed in there and, like, understanding those different pieces. He has tremendously helped me because of the stuff he had to go through, but now can pour into my life and that legacy can continue on because that's what I'm learning from.

Ryan Zook [00:13:22]:
One of the things I've. I've bumped into or been thinking about. I'm like, downloading all the things I'm thinking about recently. Crowds drive energy, but pairs drive change. And so if you, if you think through the course of your life, you can probably remember times where there was a lot of energy around. You went to a conference or you, you, you heard a really powerful message or you went to a concert or something. There's a lot of energy around those things. Most times you can't actually remember specifics about what that was like. So I was like, yeah, I went to that conference. It was really meaningful. What'd they talk about? It was just really good. Yeah, because you don't remember. If you think about a pair that you were in, like a one on one, I bet you can recall certain specific elements of that. I bet you can recall advice that you were given. I bet you can recall examples that you were told, like, pairs drive change. That's what gets me really wound up about Men of Iron. Like, we exist to change a culture. One man at a time. How are we doing that? One man at a time. We're trying to get one mentor paired up with one protege because we know for sure. We've seen it over and over and over again. When this guy invests in this guy, it affects all of these people. And yeah, we want this guy to invest in more people. We want all these people out on the outskirts to invest in more people. That's how we change a culture. It's easy to think we're going to do it by trying to fill a room with a thousand people. That's happening enough that I think we can know that it's not working as well as we think it is. What is universally effective is one man investing in another man. And one of the ways I like to point that out is that you can literally go back and look at this. The start of Jesus ministry is we're talking about faith. When take our faith seriously. We want to follow God. We want to build his kingdom. There was a group of guys following John the Baptist, and it was a small group of guys. Their lives were committed to following John the Baptist. Jesus comes into the Jordan River, John the Baptist baptizes Jesus, and John the Baptist is like, that's the guy. These dudes immediately leave him and go with Jesus and Jesus invitation is come follow me. That's it. We know the names of all the people that responded to Jesus invitation to come follow me. That's the disciples. Now there's probably some other people on the outskirts, I guess, like, you can fact check me if you want. We also can tell the lasting change that has come out of those pairings. So every single one of those guys that Jesus invested in, one on one, they went on to invest in other guys one on one. We know some of their names, we know some of their histories. We don't know the names of the 5,000 people that were on the hillside that got the loaves and fishes. We know the dudes that were one on one. Okay? And we can actually look across our history and you can trace this guy invested in this guy, who invested in this guy, who invested in this guy. You can actually make a graph out of it and bring it up to today. And that guy that reached out to you exactly when he, when you needed it. He was just being faithful with his piece of the chain to keep faith moving forward. Because I'm pretty convinced that God's kingdom is built like one relationship at a time, one investment at a time. If you want a lot of energy, get a giant Crowd. If you want to actually move change, get into mentorship. Like, choose one person you're going to invest in.

Colton [00:16:30]:
In a.

Ryan Zook [00:16:31]:
In an intentional way and watch what a difference it makes in their lives.

Colton [00:16:37]:
You're talking through that change piece, and we're talking about mentorship, and we're talking all these different elements, but when we really boil some of this stuff down and get to the meat and potatoes. Yeah, like, what is mentorship as in those pieces? Like, you know, we throw the word around, like, accountability. We talk about, you know, having someone pour into you. Like, what are the different elements that come together to actually make that mentorship up to be like, oh, this is what I'm actually going to be getting in this. Really, this. This product. Not even. Not even pushing, really. I don't even care if you use strong 27. I would love for you to use strong 27. But if it. Maybe it's just something. Getting together with a guy, what's it look like?

Ryan Zook [00:17:12]:
I'll give you the basic way. I'll give you the minimum iron way. And they're not opposed to each other. It's just, like, when you talk about a guy that made himself available to you and, like, regularly met with you, maybe it was monthly, maybe it was weekly. Maybe it was, you know, every other month. You know, whatever. There was a time on the calendar that you were going to get together with that guy, and he was going to talk to you about real stuff. Okay. This is a challenge for guys. I'm talking real stuff. Like, hey, what's really going on with you? One of the guys that showed up for me, he always asked me, what's God doing in your life? Sometimes I would avoid him so that I wouldn't have to answer that question. Okay, Another guy in my life, he could be really pointed, like, sharp, like, hey, you got to stop being such a jerk. I was like, oh, that's. That hurts. But, yeah, you're right. Okay, there's a spot on the calendar, there's regular meeting, there's real talk, and there's a challenge. All right? If you're doing that, most likely you're mentoring somebody. Okay. And a lot of lives have been changed by that. The way that we do it at Men of Iron, we have a little bit more tools to help you. We're inviting you to meet up every other week. So spot on the calendar. We're protege driven, which was unique to me. When I came to Men of Iron, I was like, what does that mean? What that means is the guy that's Being mentored brings an agenda to the table and says, help me with this. That gives the mentor a chance to say, oh, I can help you with that. Okay, so the. The. The protege is kind of driving the change that they want to see. And why that's a good thing is you're actually helping the guy with what he wants help with. Right. You don't want to show up and teach a guy about parenting when he's actually just concerned about being a good brother or something. Like, you don't want to miss the mark. So when the protege brings out the table, you can serve him well. The other thing we do is we score a core five. Hey, how are you doing? Faith, family, friends, fitness, finances. Of course, there's other ways you could do that. We found that it's a really holistic way to just evaluate every aspect of a man's life and get a good picture of what it would look like to improve. Just one small step. We don't need you to be perfect. We just need you to be committed to getting better. And that does everybody really well. You make that commitment for one year. So sometimes we get. Guys are like, whoa, a whole year. That year's going to go by so fast. A lot of people blow right through that year and keep going. And every time you get together, you're going to set a goal. Like, we probably sound like we're, like, crazy about goals, but it's because it's really hard to drive change in your life if you're not specific about it. So we want you to set a smart goal. What is that? It's specific, it's measurable, it's attainable, it's relevant, and it's time bound. You're impressed.

Colton [00:19:38]:
I was impressed with that.

Ryan Zook [00:19:39]:
All right, so it's something you can actually accomplish. It's very specific. Like, you'll know if you hit it or not. And there's a time on it. So a lot of times it's like, hey, by the next time we get together, I want to have read the book of John.

Colton [00:19:54]:
Great.

Ryan Zook [00:19:55]:
And then you sit in front of your mentor the next time you get together, and you either did it or you didn't. And that mentor is going to hold you accountable to that. Okay. Did you hit the goal? No. Why not? Okay, well, I wasn't taking it very seriously. Okay, well, what are you doing? Come on, take it more seriously. It's not magic sauce, but what we do has been incredibly helpful to thousands of guys since, I mean, for the last 19 years. So, of course we believe in what we do. We can be really helpful to you if you've never done something like that. We can give you the resources we need or you need. We just want you to get involved in a mentorship because it will help to change a culture. You look out the window and you think, I wish the world wasn't like that. Great. Get involved in changing it. That's what we want you to do. You have what you need to have because God has given it to you to. To build his kingdom in this world. Don't just complain about the way the world is. Go change it. And that's what we want to empower you to do.

Colton [00:20:49]:
What I love, too, is we capture stories all the time of this life, change that happens. And if you don't believe me, go on our YouTube, go check it out. But we have tons of these stories of guys in different situations got into a mentorship and their life was, like, radically changed. And it's not us over here blowing smoke and all this kind of stuff. It happens time again. And it's not because of men. It's God. God's doing the work. God's working in that life. But they made a choice, which we talked about a couple podcasts ago, like, they made a choice to actually make the decision that I need this in my life. And that's what really we're kind of bringing up and for this mentorship, really piece is like, you got to choose it. You got to approach that guy, ask him to mentor you and take it seriously and be accountable in it. And I think that's really, like, the. What you're talking about, getting the nuts and bolts of it all. Like, that's what we're really trying to drive home. Whether it's strong 27, whether it's just meeting a guy for coffee twice, whatever it looks like. I just encourage you to get after it and go like you were just saying. It got me a little fired up over here. I started getting like that. You know, you get pumped up before the game starts. It's like, you want to change it, Go change it. Go make yourself accountable.

Ryan Zook [00:21:56]:
Get.

Colton [00:21:57]:
Get with someone to make it happen and stop sitting on the couch and hoping something changes. Go do it.

Ryan Zook [00:22:01]:
What we're doing is we're stepping into the life that God has called us to. So we opened up the series, what, four weeks ago, talking about, like, hey, God has designed you with a desire for relationship with him. You're not going to walk into that by accident. It's an intentional thing. Yeah, God's going to get your attention. But you got to choose to take your faith seriously and you got to choose to grow in it. And you don't want to be the guy that's just consistently growing by accident. Like, you want to be intentional. We want you to be godly men. We don't want you to sit around at home thinking like, oh, I look this way and I'm burly and strong. Like, okay, great. We don't want to build manly men. We want to build godly men. And so if you want to be that, you got to grab hold of it and go after it. But we know, we've seen it, that every time men get seriously about being godly, it affects everybody around them and the people around them are thankful for it. Lives around them are changed. That's how we're changing the culture, one man at a time. That's what we exist to do. Thanks again for listening to the Men of Iron podcast. If you want some help, if you want a mentor, reach out to us. There are links in this description where you can get free resources to strengthen your faith. You can get involved in a group or you can find a mentorship. Go down there. Click those. If you didn't write about who your mentor is, put it in the comments. I want to see those stories because I want to highlight those stories. We'll be back again next week. We'll see you then.

Ryan Zook [00:23:17]:
Thanks for listening to the Men of Iron podcast. Be sure to, like, subscribe and share at Men of Iron. We exist to change a culture one man at a time, and we'd love to have you partner with us. So go to menaviron.org to see how you can get involved or donate@menaviron.org donate.