How To Get Licensed As Foster Parents Without Losing Your Mind

The foster care license is the part nobody glamorizes and it can test your schedule, your patience, and your confidence before a child ever walks through your door. We share what licensing looked like for us as a married couple and parents, from the first online inquiry to the moment the agency lays out the reality: training hours, home study visits, safety requirements, and a mountain of paperwork.

We talk through the biggest decisions and the most common worries we hear from future foster parents. Should you choose a public county agency or a private agency? What changes when kids come from your local area versus hours away across the state? We also get honest about the doubts that show up fast: finances, childcare, home size, inspections, medical costs, and whether you have any say in the placements that come to your home.

Along the way, we share what actually helped us get through it: staying organized with a simple binder system, bringing our daughter into age-appropriate conversations, and building a real support network. Foster parent training taught us about trauma, attachment, and reunification, but our village taught us how to survive the day-to-day, especially when the phone rings and life flips in minutes. If you’re researching how to become a foster parent, foster care licensing, foster parent training, or what a home study involves, this is the candid behind-the-scenes version.

If this helped, subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s story about the first placement call, and please share the show with someone who’s been thinking about fostering. What part of the licensing process would make you hesitate the most?

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Hello, welcome back. We made it through the first week. Um now we're gonna try this episode two. Um we talked last week. Um if you haven't listened, um we introduced Kelly and I, um, talked about why we wanted to become foster parents, um, and then also I uh realized that I talked about how long Kelly and I had been together, but what I didn't mention was we've actually been married for 25. Well, this will be our 25th year.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

We're almost there. So almost there.

Welcome Back And Quick Recap

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Yeah, so if you didn't listen to last week, make sure you listen to that, our first episode.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Yes, please.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

And if you're listening today, this means you came back. So yay, welcome back. Welcome back. Um, so yeah, this week we're gonna talk about becoming licensed. It's a lot of paperwork, a lot of decision making, a lot of doubting, a lot of things like that. You know, when you get all excited and you're like, okay, we're ready, we want to be foster parents, you then don't really think about all the work that you're about to put in. So um I initially did most of the the groundwork here, uh, you know, still trying to get slime on board at this point, but I remember we I started asking around, just kind of like friends to people that know people that do foster care or you know have uh any knowledge of that kind of thing, social work, things like that. And uh looked online. Um, I was able to get online. I looked around at our county, I looked around and you know, just kind of looked into different things. So one thing you have to kind of decide early on or is do you want to go with a private agency or a public agency? Um, so when I was asking and getting feedback on that, one of the things that was brought up is public, if you go local, a public agency around your, you know, where you live, you're going to have kids that are from that area, familiar with that area, things like that. Um one of the cons

Choosing Public Vs Private Agency

SPEAKER_01 2:10

of a private agency, for you know, for example, NIAP or um uh my mind just went blank, but a private agency, anyways. Right. One of the um negatives there were, you know, kids come from all over the state and might have to travel hours at a time for visitations or court hearings or things like that. So I didn't want to have to travel um for all of that. So after looking at all our options, the pros and the cons, Sly and I decided to stick around with our local agency in the county that we lived in. So um I got online uh and looked at the county's website and requested information. I think probably filled out like a you know, information, like contact us kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Yeah, I feel like you're like some kind of questionnaire or something.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Yeah, so and then submitted that and waited for the agency to get back with us.

SPEAKER_02 3:22

So that's I feel like it wasn't very long.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

No, no, not really. Um so we, you know, we waited, they they reach out to us. Um of the things that we, you know, when you're first starting out, you start having all these thoughts, like these things that you think like, but you know, uh, what if we don't make enough money to be foster parents? Um, what if they want to give us a kid that you know

Early Doubts And Money Worries

SPEAKER_01 3:56

meaning that do we have a choice in the children that are placed in our home? Uh what if, you know, what if they're sick? Do we have to pay for their medical expenses? So, you know, we start having all these like talks about people saying, Oh, you're gonna get too attached, or I could not never do this, or we're old, or what if I work, or what if we work? How do we get child care? You know, so immediately I feel like immediately those doubts and things start happening.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Oh, for sure. And I feel like, I mean, for me, I question just sometimes just is our house big enough? Is will our house pass this, you know, inspection? And you know, you know, immediately I set the bar really hard and all these expectations I thought that they were going to look at. Um, you know, but some of it it was, you know, wasn't really as bad as I thought, but then there were some things that I didn't understand what that had to really do with you know being a foster parent.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

So yeah, yeah. So once they reached out, so what happens is the the agency gets a hold of you, they tell you, okay, you've gotta go through all of this information, we've got a lot of paperwork we've got to do. Um there is going to be, you know, a lot of things training, paperwork, all that stuff, house home inspections. But one of the things they do say is we want you to take the training classes.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Because they really, for us, the training classes were three hours a night for two nights a week. So, you know, six hours a week for nine weeks, or no, six weeks.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Yeah, six weeks.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

And uh, you know, so it's 36 hours of training. So they really wanted us to, that's where you start. You start with the training because they're gonna want you to get through that because you can't really do

Training Classes And Emotional Reality

SPEAKER_01 5:50

anything until you've gone through these training classes. So I think I feel like they're, you know, they don't want to put a whole lot of time into somebody who isn't going to actually complete the training.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Well, and I feel like they also that kind of helps weed out the ones that are really serious about doing it. You know, people talk about doing a lot of things, but you know, if you're willing to rearrange your schedule and you know, every night for the next six weeks and you actually stick through and do it, then you know, like anything, they just that's just how they kind of get through to the ones that really want to do it.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Yeah. So when we uh started this, it was before COVID, so classes were in person, in a classroom with other adults, other, you know, people that were there with the same goal to take a class and to get you know become licensed authors.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Um I feel like we were in the class with people that had the same concerns and questions, and like yeah, a lot of those people were still connected with that we went through these classes with.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

So um, in our case, our classes were in class. Now, I do believe that now you're able to do it all online, which was nice because in our when we were taking the classes, if Sly missed a class or was late at what is that work and wasn't gonna make it, if you have to they only gave you 15 minutes. Yeah, if you were past 15 minutes, you lost you couldn't take that class and you had to find it elsewhere. And you know, because we were doing them in class, he might have had to have gone to one of the other counties in our state to um make up that class, which also then would make us behind schedule on our um trainings.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

So but luckily I didn't miss any of those.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

I do believe now that you can do all of your training online. They're doing a lot of training online.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

Well, that kind of started towards the end of when we were doing it, but yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

Um when you go through the trainings, you there, you know, there's lots of topics, lots of things, things you would never even think to know or that you should know. And you know, a lot sometimes the nights were hard, it was boring.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

And then there were nights where it was really hard and emotionally challenging and really made you question.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

Like, I know for like for me, I'll speak on my experience. I just made you kind of think about like, is this what we really want to do? Or can I really do this? Um, a lot of those classes, that's kind of how I felt a lot of times.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

You know, you got you get a lot of ideas on, you know, for new parents, like things you can do when you do get placements, you learn about some of the trauma that the kids have gone through. They they talk about attachment, we they touch on reunification. So, you know, the training classes really cover a lot. Um, and what's funny is, you know, I think what surprised me the most was here. I thought we knew all of this. You know, we were already parents, we had grace, and we you know, and there was so much we don't know, didn't know, still don't know. Right. Um, it's just funny to me. Like you start to think, you know, you're a professional parent, and then you're parenting teenagers and it's all out the window, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Oh my god, is it ever?

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Um, I know that when we started, some of the things I that surprised me was we after that training and you get your license, you still have to continue training, like continuing education for teachers or for people, you know, nurses, things like that. So we not only did we have to go through these 36 hours of training, but then we had to stay up to date on our training.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

And I feel like it was 20 hours a year.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

I think it was when we started.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

And then we had to because we had to renew our license every two years. So we always had to, I always remember 40 hours. Um, and again, it was in-person classes, and you know, if you had to pick your class, and they usually tried to not like not wanting you to take the same classes over and over, so you had to find a new class, and again, there would be times that I think only like a couple times, but Kelly would take a course and then I didn't make it or whatever, so then I had to take one.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

I feel like we a lot of the times we tried to make those classes like our date.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Yeah, it was a date day, kind of a that was fun, you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Like we'd get Starbucks, we'd head to class, we'd have lunch together, you know, we do what you gotta do when your parents um yeah, so the training was a lot, it was a lot, but it was a lot of good too, you know. At the end of our training, they have um like a potluck night they did, and that they brought in licensed foster parents that were uh in the trenches, so to speak, already like had placements and were doing things, and

Ongoing Training And CPR Requirements

SPEAKER_01 10:48

they came in for like a QA, and that was fabulous. And one of my very best friends I met that night as a foster parent, and she has been by my side ever since.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

And uh oh, yeah, because you immediately like connected with her and then like questions and uh like yeah, she became a contact person.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Yeah, she was our go-to with everything after that, you know. Very, very, very supportive friend. Um, and and it continued for all the years we did foster care and now, yeah. You know, uh bring from bringing us meals, getting us clothes. She was really top-notch when it came to having dinner for us the nights we got placements. It was absolutely amazing.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

And that's the kind of stuff that like you don't always think about.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Um, but you know, yeah, when you get that phone call and you know, next thing you know, you don't give it away. You're kind of you're frantically running around, and you gotta figure out what you have, what you don't have, or what you need.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Um, so having somebody like that that just uh would call and say, I know that you guys just got a placement and I'm bringing dinner, or you know, somebody's dropping off dinner that she contacted, like that happens.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

And she always made the best brownies. So good, so good. You know, so in addition to the training classes, we had to have yearly training, we had to have CPR and first aid and stay current on all of those things. So you get a lot of training when you get started. You know, it can feel overwhelming, like you know, we took we already touched on it a little bit, but you start to like doubt yourself and think about like, but what if or what if this or uh you know this isn't gonna work, uh, you know, you get kind of nervous. So we said six weeks of classes. In our case, then midway through towards, you know, starting to get towards the end, we started the paperwork process where um the uh we we get assigned a social worker, the foster care social worker, and she starts doing our intake and um getting our background checks and references and our medical forms and financials. Financials. You know, they look

Paperwork Background Checks And Financials

SPEAKER_01 12:58

into your bank and your bills, and you know, I mean, they do their job. They do want to make sure that, you know, we are stable enough to take on children.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Um and then they look into our past and um, you know, some of the you know funny, frustrating moments um is you know, you you think that you like I said, you've is my house clean enough or big enough? And so we started, you know, scrubbing everything, um, making sure that everything's clean and like physically, you know, trying to get it all done. Um, and then you know, they want to come and do the home study, and part of that home study is visiting the house and checking, you know, we had things that we had to have smoke detectors and carbon monoxide.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

Oh, there's a whole safety platform for all of the safety stuff.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

And the one that we even had to have the fire.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

Um fire inspection, yeah. You have to have uh safety inspection, you have to have um escape plans.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

Oh, yeah, and they had to be posted emergency plans, an emergency

Home Study Safety Rules And Bed Space

SPEAKER_02 14:05

like list that was posted, phone numbers, phone numbers, like that.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

So they you know they do come into your home and uh you start all that. So not only are you taking classes, but then you're prepping your home for um you're prepping your home for this. Um one of the things I think that was surprising to me in a good way or different, I maybe it felt frustrating at the time, but um so we at the time lived in a two-bedroom house with Grace. So we could only have girls, but we were willing to take girls that were babies up into up to her age at the time, at whatever time it was. We tried to always keep um Grace as the oldest.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

So we could take an infant or we could take a five-year-old, but we those obviously they use different beds, an infant versus a lot of and they wanted they wanted to be able to come see uh all the beds that we had, like show that we had availability.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

The crib setup because we couldn't ensure that it was safe and it met all the standards, and it wasn't, you know, your great-grandma buddies from years ago, you know. Um, but also if we were gonna take on a five-year-old, we'd need a twin bed or you know, something like that. So that was a little bit challenging for me just because we did only have this two-bedroom room, you know, um, and we had Grace. So uh that, you know, eventually later on down the road, we ended up buying uh or getting her a loft bed so then we could have a crib underneath her bed and a bed for another child, which then eventually became bunk beds because before our very last set of children in that home before we moved was four girls in that one little little cute little bedroom. Um another thing that kind of bothered us was that how they looked into your family or things they brought up things that you didn't even know.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

Yeah, it was really, really weird. Um, like at first, and they were just things that they kind of you know questioned and asked was things about one of my dad's wives and like an issue, and like I I was like, I don't I didn't even like I didn't even know it was a thing. I was 10 years old, I think. Um, but they asked me and I and then and then I also thought, what does this have to do with me being an adult and wanting to be a parent? But I guess they didn't look into you. Right. Anytime that there was something that they were potentially involved, or you know, they they they keep records of it, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

So she addressed a lot of those or some of those records, or I guess she probably all of them that did making it sound like it was a lot.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

Yeah, no, it wasn't. It's just but the fact that they brought it up, I was just kind of like yeah, blown away.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Um so if you know, if you are thinking about this, uh some some suggestions that I think we might have. Um me was to stay organized. Uh you want to get a binder.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

You want to have tabs, or you know, I'm old school and I like paper and pen. I like to write it down. Um, I like to be able to have it in front of me, but you are gonna want to stay organized, you know, keeping a checklist of things you need to do, things you need to get. Um, when you do have those, you know, physical forms filled out, you have them that you can put in the binder so that when your uh worker comes the next time you're ready. So kind of

Records That Surprise You

SPEAKER_01 17:39

staying organized from the get-go will really help you when things start to feel overwhelming, and uh, you know, at least you'll have that that you can go to. And um another suggestion that we have, or I I think that we have is to include your children if you have bio children or adopted children.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Um,

Staying Organized With A Binder

SPEAKER_02 18:06

I feel like that that really we included Grace in everything. You know, obviously it was not her decision, yes or no, but we always included her um with you know, we are getting a placement and this is what we're getting, and just kind of and we would ask her opinion, you know. It I think it was really good for her to be included with that because of she was opening her space, it was her room. Um, you know, like Kelly said, we only had a two-bedroom house, and so every placement was in her room. Um, so it was really good to just keep her involved. Um, I think it really helped with you know create the person that she is today. Um, you know, just helped her become caring and understanding and like people.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

There's everybody's just you know, and yeah, we want we included our family. Um, you know, one of the things you don't learn in training class is the effects it's going to have on your actual family, you know, grandmas, grandpas, aunts and uncles. And I I think we talked about that last week, but a little bit. Um they uh, you know, you want to include them and you know, they're gonna support you. It's it's it's really a a a group effort.

Including Your Kids And Your Family

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Oh, for sure. And it becomes the village.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Like that's what kind of amazed me was like how quick that it like our village, I felt like our village we already had one, but it like just grew in size, and like we just kind of had somebody for something. You know, it's that whole like I know a guy, like kind of a scenario with everything.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Yeah. Yep. Um, you know, not only are you physically preparing your homes and taking the classes and getting the paperwork, then you're you know, you're still preparing your in you too.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

I mean it is probably the number one statement that we hear is I couldn't do that. You're you I could never get attached. I could never let them go. I could never let say goodbye. And, you know, looking back now, we know how difficult that was. But you know, when you're preparing and you're going through training and um you're getting excited and you're like, I got this, and we're, you know, we've got we're gonna have this for this kid, and or you know, we're you start to prepare, you you're starting to be like happy and you know, you think you you're getting it all figured out, but it really it's not really preparing your heart, you know, for what your heart's about to go through. And I know we're gonna talk about that, but um, you know, we like I said, it's important to include your kids in your family, you know, even after we started having kids, we still included those kids.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

Um and it was amazing to me like to see the kids that we had that were either, you know, with us or already, you know, adopted, but to watch our kids open arm and just love on these ones that would come in, and you know, they all of them would just welcome them and and just they just kind of like walked right in and become part of the fl family, the clan. Yeah um, and you know, they immediately toys and teddy bears and blankets and you know, and um it just really just loving on them and you know, and I feel like again, that goes like I said it with Grace, but all of our kids I I I think we're you know it's gonna help them be some kind, caring, amazing people, and that you know, just being kind goes a Long ways.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

That's when we started Team Wattlin.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Team Watlin. We always uh is we would we would reach out to each other, you know, or like I would, you know, are we sure we want to this is how we want to do this? You know, are we grace? Are you okay with this? And as we started getting placements and things, and we're gonna talk about that next week. But um, as we started getting placements, we, you know, Team Wallin, we it really did become a village and a team of people that we um had to, you know, look and reach out to, or uh yeah. So um I think what do you think? I think that pretty much covers a lot of the you know, the prepping for foster care. Making the space, making space in your home, making space in your heart.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Yeah. And I feel like this is like to get started, we'll talk about probably a little bit more of what was really involved as we go. Um, but really to get started, um, you know, I feel like it's that excitement. I know that I I felt like it took forever, but also then I feel like we blinked and it was already gone. And, you know, we'll get into this, but we'll be getting our first uh first placement phone call and then you know how that works and how uh if I can yeah, if I can leave you with anything else, it's you know, find your village. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Not just don't just wait till you get through it all. Don't do this alone. It doesn't have to be a spouse, it doesn't have to be a family member, but find people, you know. We're all everybody's online now. So get on your Instagram or your Facebook and

Find Your Village And Accept Help

SPEAKER_01 23:45

find a uh foster care support group or page or uh, you know, just find like-minded people that have either gone through it or are going to go through it. Um, I do think that's something that would it would be missing doing your classes online, you know, is not actually having that face-to-face connection with people who have like minds like you.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Well, and for me, like I'm very much a like do-it-myself kind of person, figure it out, work it out, make it work. Um, but don't be afraid to take help. Um, because those are usually the ones that are there to help you are like some amazing people. And I I know I I originally first struggled with taking help. You still struggle with it. I do, but like in this doing with foster care. But then as we were doing it, and then I know for me, we would return the favor, um, somebody that we knew that got their first placement, and then it was hey, I have a bed. And so she would say, Hey, Sly, I go get this bed and take it over to whoever, and to know that I could drop that off and help them set it up and so appreciative. And I was like, Okay, this is what it's what it's about is you know, helping others and also people help us, and you know, and we would just just help each other.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Yeah, yeah. So start working on finding your village now. You know, ask people that if you don't know somebody, ask your friends, they know somebody, guarantee, guarantee. Um, so next week we're going to take you into one of the most unforgettable moments, I think, of our journey. When the phone rang, yes, and we are asked to say yes or no. But um but it's I'm I'm gonna give just a little tease.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

So it became like, you know, obviously she's Kelly's my wife, she calls me. But usually when I'm at work, we don't always call, not a lot. Um, but still to the day when Kelly calls me, like I know I have to stop and I have to answer that, but then I get anxious or excited

Next Week The First Placement Call

SPEAKER_02 25:54

because I think that that is the phone call that it's so and I catch myself, even though I know that it's not not anymore, but but like I remember those phone calls, like, and at that moment, uh whatever day you're in completely changes, and that's all I'm gonna say about it.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

I can't wait. I can't say next week. So, you know, thanks for being with us, you guys. We're the Wallins. Thanks for joining this foster, yep, fostering journey with us, and hopefully we'll see you next week.