Tori Reimschisel's Journey From Protestant Roots To Catholic Youth Ministry

What if the thing you’ve been chasing in church—reverence, belonging, and the nearness of Jesus—was waiting just around a corner you never planned to turn? That’s the tension Tori Reimschisel, Mary Queen High School Youth Minister,  names as she traces her path from a Bible‑saturated Protestant childhood and youth ministry volunteering to a surprise call toward Catholic life and a vocation serving teens.

If you’ve felt disenchanted yet still love Jesus, or if you serve young people and want a path beyond programs and hype, this conversation offers both a map and courage. Listen for practical ways to foster belonging, integrate Scripture with sacrament, and cultivate the kind of mentorship that endures.

If this story resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s discerning, and leave a review so others can find these conversations.

Transcript

Welcome & Mission Of Mary Queen

Speaker 1 0:04

Welcome to Mary Queen's Stories, the official podcast of Mary Queen of the Holy Rosary Parish in Lexington, Kentucky. Our mission is to receive God's love, proclaim the greatness of the Lord, serve joyfully, and make missionary disciples of Jesus Christ. I'm your host, Jennifer Longworth, Communications and Parish Life Coordinator at Mary Queen.

Speaker 2 0:24

Today on Mary Queen's Stories, I have Tori, who is one of our youth assistants for high school specifically. Tori soon to be Johnson. Go ahead and pronounce your last name for the crowd.

Meet Tori And Her Calling

Speaker 0:36

My last name right now is Reimschisel, but uh Jennifer is correct. I will be Mrs. Johnson in May. And I'm really looking forward to not having to tell people how to spell my last name anymore.

Speaker 2 0:46

So you're working with our youth, our high school youth here at Mary Queen. What led you to that position?

Discernment, Accountability, And Mentors

Speaker 0:52

So I actually have been doing youth ministry in a volunteer capacity since about 2018. And I just realized, you know, I think that this is a passion of mine. I think that this is part of my uh little V vocation. I think that the Lord's given me a deep desire and a deep heart to share Jesus with young people and just to be a mentor in their life as well. Um, so kind of along those lines, I've just been pursuing youth ministry in a volunteer capacity. And then I just I've been having more conversations with like the youth leaders that I've been volunteering under and having more conversations with the Lord. And I was like, I think actually this is supposed to be a long-term calling. You know, I felt really self-conscious about that at first because um, you know, I know that people who teach, specifically people who teach like theology and who teach about the Lord are held to a much higher standard of accountability as they should be. But I remember I had a professor in college who is like, yeah, you know, if you're called to minister, you need to just be really careful. Um, you know, just be aware of that, right? Yeah. Um, that actually that professor was one of the ones who told me he's like, I think you have a call on your life to ministry, and I don't know what it is yet. But he's like, I just I feel like the Holy Spirit is leading you in that direction. Where do you go to school? I went to Asbury. Okay. Yeah. So I that's actually why I moved to Kentucky, uh, because I wanted to go to Asbury. So I moved here and I liked it so much, I stayed. But he was just having this car. He's like, Yeah, you know, I really feel like there's a call in your life to ministry, and I I don't know what it is yet, but I just want you to be aware of that. And then having been volunteering with uh Rebecca Whitney over at the cathedral on her youth ministry team for this is uh this will be four years for me this year, okay. Um, which is really fun. But um, she said to me at one point, she was like, She's like Tori, I don't know if you know that you have a call in your life to youth ministers specifically, but she's like, uh, she said, I've been waiting for the Lord to tell you, but the Lord has already told me. So uh, you know, when whenever you clue into it, you just let me know. Here's your message, you know. So, and then I started to realize actually it's okay for me to have that desire because it's the desire to fulfill the plan that the Lord has for me. So, in the sense of like leaning into the Lord's calling as opposed to, you know, seeking out, oh yeah, you know, like I want to be like some, I want to be somebody. And I, you know, I don't I don't want to be somebody, I just want to be me. Some you know, if this is the me that that the Lord wants me to be, then I I want to do that and do it well.

Speaker 2 3:35

So So not comparing yourself to I want to be the next Christafamic or you know, yeah, Jackie Jackie Angel is a big hero of mine.

Speaker 3:45

I I love Jackie Angel, but I don't want to be the next Jackie Angel. I want to be the next me. I just want to be me. Yeah. Um so in the sense of maybe my calling is similar to somebody like Jackie, and that would be obviously really neat, but I just want to honor the the the calling that the Lord gives me, and I want to do it to the best of my ability and trust that he's giving me the graces that I needed to make that happen. So yeah, just having a heart for young people who haven't gotten to experience Jesus in a really personal way and trying to introduce them to him so that they can because like having that intimacy with Jesus is a really, really beautiful thing and a really big deal. But if you only ever hear everybody talk about it and you never get to experience it, and then you're just gonna like kind of blow it off. You know, I've I've met kids who are like, I really don't understand when the big deal is about that, like because they they've never moved past the concept of of Christianity to having a deep relationship with Jesus on a personal level. So that's more of the what I hope to to do in living through my ministry. That's what I want people to do, just encounter Jesus.

Speaker 2 4:57

So did you have a strong youth ministry background growing up?

Vision For Youth Ministry Culture

Speaker 5:01

I actually didn't particularly enjoy the youth group that I went to. So um I can I can tell people very honestly, like, yeah, you know, like I my middle school youth group experience was pretty okay. But then once I got into high school, like it just there were too many clicks, and the girl, you know, the girls weren't nice and the boys didn't care. And I was like, okay, well, you know. So I think that's also part of the reason that I am passionate about youth ministry now is making sure that I can create a not necessarily like trying to outcool everybody else, but um, and I tell my kids at Mary Queen and Christ the King that I'm like, yeah, this is not about being like trying to being cooler than all of the like secular options that you have for activities. I don't want it to be another activity for you to come to, but um, just in the sense of like making it a good experience for every kid that comes and is part of whatever ministry that I'm involved in, because I didn't have a great experience. Some of my some of my youth ministry that I was in when I was a teenager. So being able to help people have connections with each other, have authentic friendship, have authentic mentorship, like the things that I loved the most when I did have a positive experience in my own youth group were being able to have a couple of people to have authentic real conversations with and have to be able to have fun with them, but also to be able to talk about stuff that was the deep or hard. And but then also having a couple of safe adults as well, who I knew like could be pouring into me. So my goal is to foster the kind of youth ministry where students can come and foster those like authentic relationships with each other and learn how to build Christian community together, but also like intergenerational growth opportunities, I guess. And just receiving like from older men and women who could pour into them. So yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 2 6:56

Do we have older men and women currently involved in the youth program who are serving in that way, or is that a long-term goal?

The Power Of Seen And Safe Teens

Speaker 7:03

Um yes and no. So we have a couple of really amazing catechists that are on the team right now that I love. They're fantastic. I actually joke about like if they ever wanted to legally adopt another child, they could totally come and get me if they wanted to. Oh, they're fantastic, but I think that's always going to be an ongoing thing that I'm specifically praying about. I would love to see more adults in a church community who are willing to pay attention to and pour into the teenagers that are also in community with us. I think one of the things that gets really tricky and and really frustrating is that if teenagers feel like they're never seen or heard or listened to or paid attention to, if nobody takes the time of day to get to know them and know their story, know like where they're coming from, build that relationship with them so that then if they ever had something vulnerable to share, they would know that there was somebody who could hold them in that. Yeah. But like if nobody's taking the time to pay attention to them, yeah, like you know, and um we I don't know, I get really fired up about it because I'm like, that's also I just that's why I'm doing what I'm doing because I when I was a teenager, I needed adults to pay attention to me and I needed to know, and you know, I didn't have the greatest, wildest home life growing up either. And so I needed to make sure that I could find those safe adults who I could reach out to or fall back on, or even just people who knew a little bit of my story and made me feel seen in that. And I think that made me want to care more about Jesus. And it's it's funny how that works because I think, you know, when I went through a season of like really walking away from the church, but I knew I didn't want to walk away from Jesus. Yeah. And so like drawing a line in the sand and being like, okay, I'm definitely not leaving Jesus, but I also am not super wild about the church, and I'm still looking for people who can love me well and show me who Jesus really is. And I think there's a link between having solid relationships with people who are in the church and maintaining a lifeline and like being sold on that relationship with the Lord, then keeps you in the church. So I think the key to effective ministry with young people is making sure that we do have those like personal relationships with them so that then they can encounter Christ through the relationships that they have with us.

Wrestling With Church And Staying With Jesus

Speaker 2 9:33

So you mentioned me and disenchanted with the church. Were you Catholic at that point or were you still Protestant at that point?

Speaker 9:41

So I definitely was still Protestant at that point. Okay. Um disenchanted is a pretty good word. I grew up in a in a Protestant church. I grew up in a Baptist church, actually, that then um eventually developed into a megachurch that then became a non-denominational megachurch. And um that's it's a whole different experience. I think a lot of a lot of Catholics probably who aren't converts would be like, wait, that's really trippy. And the answer, yes, that's correct. It is in fact it is really trippy uh because it's it's just a whole other thing. You know, if you're familiar with Southland, it, you know, think Southland or Southeast. It was it was very similar to that atmosphere. But it kind of became a megachurch while I was going to it. That's interesting. It was very weird.

Speaker 2 10:23

Yeah. Um it so did he like start out just singing Rock of Ages and Old Reggae Cross and then go into praise and worship or I know we definitely had praise and worship from the get-go.

Protestant Roots And Praise & Worship

Speaker 10:34

Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I grew up with praise and worship like as what I sang in church. And so, like, which always makes me chuckle when I'm like teaching my my kids and youth like what praise and worship is. And I'm like, yeah, I grew up singing this in church every week. Like this was my this was what I did. I didn't go to mass, this is what I did. And so I also really deeply love praise and worship music. Yeah, okay. Um, and you know, Michael W. Smith and um there were plenty others, but he's the one that always like sticks out in my brain is like being the guy who wrote the music that I sang as a kid. But yeah, yeah. Disenchanted is a really good word. I was not impressed. Um, I've always had a radar for inauthenticity. I'm not sure if inauthenticity is a word, inauthentic is a word, but like false, fake authenticity. Yeah, like one of the things that I say to my friends all the time is like I really just dislike it when people make authenticity their brand to the point that it's not authentic anymore. Wow, true. And it's people do that, and people totally do that, and they're like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be like authentic. And I'm like, girl, you lost the authentic a long time ago, but okay. Um but there were a lot of things that I really loved about where I came from because I loved like I knew the Bible and I was in the Bible all the time, and I loved the Bible, and I had to do like extensive um scripture memory verses is just part of like being in Sunday school as a as a little Protestant kid. So now actually it's funny, is one of the things that I do with my, at least with my students at Mary Queen, I have them do sword drills. Oh yeah. Um, which they it was a it was very new for them.

Speaker 2 12:05

Yeah, uh yeah. And so for people who don't look the Protestant background, you don't know what a sword drill is. Please tell us.

Bible Literacy And Sword Drills

Speaker 12:11

Yeah, so a sword drill, and it's funny too, because like even some Protestants wouldn't know what it is. Right. That's beer is just like a niche kind of thing. We called it scripture scouting when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's a sword drill. Same thing. Yeah, yeah. So a sword drill, I wish I had a Bible like to demonstrate, but a sword drill is like when you hold your Bible up in the air, and it's the sword because the sword is the word of God. The word of God is a is a double-edged sword. So that's where like the name comes from. So you hold your Bible up in the air, and then the leader in charge of the activity like names off the uh like the book of the Bible, the chapter, the verse, and all of the kids have to race to see who can find the first one. And then whoever wins has to stand up and read the verse in front of everybody, and then we talk about it. So I grew up doing that um all the time. Yeah. Um, I did scripture memory, I knew like all of the different books of the Bible, uh except the Catholic ones that the Protestants took out, but um you know working my way through those. I I am too. I finally read Tobit all the way through. I love Tobit. I do too. So great. I used some of the verses from Tobit in my wedding too. It's just lovely. But I did I love that. I love the Bible literacy. I did a lot of like apologetics work, um, like learning how to defend Christianity, like uh as opposed to you know, non-Christian faith and all that kind of stuff. So, you know, obviously like I had a relationship with the real Jesus and professed the you know the creed and believed in all of the you know orthodox things that one does to not be a heretic. It was it was very, it was very, very, very different. Um, but I also not from my family so much, but definitely from my church circles, there was a very anti-Catholic message. Um, which is simultaneously unfortunate and unsurprising, just because like I think a lot of people are just really poorly educated about what being a Catholic actually means. Yeah. And so there was a lot of like, well, Catholics aren't really Christians or you know, I a phrase that I heard a lot was, I'm sure there's some Catholics who are saved. And my like shooting back, I remember being like nine or ten and not fully understanding or having a clue what Catholics believed, but like somebody was like, Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's some saved Catholics. And I went, I'm sure there's some saved Protestants, like, you know, nice. Because like it's just it just irritates me when people, you know, I'm like, well, I know they love Jesus. Yeah. And, you know, they're not Mormons, they're not Jehovah's Witnesses, they're not, you know, out here being heretics about it. No, we're Christians, we're Christians. Oh, gee, Christian. Yeah. Oh yeah. Um, so I yeah, I mean, I was always very, but I only had one Catholic friend. And so it was like her and her whole family were like the only Catholics that I knew growing up. And I remember telling her, I made a snarky comment to her one time, and apparently we both remembered it really deeply. Oh wow. Because I one time was like, yeah, dude, like I don't know what I was telling her. Uh, we were just having a random, like regular ordinary discussion. I was just like, yeah, but like, you know, there's no way Mary was perfect. She was like, wait, what? Like, and she told me later. Um, because she was the first person that I told when I became Catholic. She was the first person that I was like, hey, guess what? I'm converting. I'm becoming Catholic. And she's like, I've been praying for you to become Catholic for so many years. Um, which is really, really cool for me to hear that. But it was so funny. She's like, Do you remember when you told me that Mary wasn't perfect? And I was like, Yes, I'm really sorry. Um, and she was like, No, it was really good for me because that was my first exposure to the difference between Catholics and Protestants. Oh, yeah. I was like, Well, that works. Like, yeah, and Brad I was feeling snarky that day, but um so what was it that drew you to the Catholic Church?

Speaker 2 15:51

Like, definitively, yes, I'm gonna convert.

Anti‑Catholic Assumptions Challenged

Asbury, Church Fathers, And Openness

Encountering Healthy Leadership And The Spirit

Speaker 15:54

It's kind of a funny story because that was not on my radar in any way, shape, or form at all. It's I mean, I hear some people be like, yeah, I like started reading the church fathers and like blah, blah. It a little bit, that was part of my experience, but not mainly. Uh you know, there there is actually getting to be a joke that people who go to Asbury specifically like have a high turnout rate of going to Asbury and then becoming either Orthodox, Anglican, or Catholic. Oh, funny. Um, which is kind of true. The amount of people that I've talked to who and even run into at church who I haven't even seen for a long time, who that I'm like, wait, you're Catholic now? Um, who I went to college with. So I think it's partially because Asbury does in their theology classes, they do put such a high emphasis on reading the church fathers. And I mean, it's like a gateway drug, I guess. But that's where you're because uh I guess I'm becoming Catholic now, but yeah, this is inevitable at this point. But I moved here. I knew I wanted to go to Asbury. Um, and I knew I wanted to go to Christian school, and I was really struggling with my relationship with the Lord at the time because of disenchantment. But I knew, yeah, I knew I was supposed to be out of Christian school and I knew I was supposed to go to Asbury and I didn't know why, but I did. And so, you know, in our theology class, I remember one of the first class sessions that we ever had with this particular professor who I adore. I'm not gonna say his name, but I love him very much and he knows I do. And um he said, you know, rule number one is we do not disrespect Jesus' mom in this class. Oh, nice. And I was like, go off. Like, and this is me being very Protestant at the time, but he's like, we do not bash the Catholics in this class, and we do not bash Jesus' mom in this class. I don't care if you have a problem with that, he said. And I was like, excellent, this is going to be great. Um, you know, he he did a really good job of just teaching like what it means to be Catholic in the sense of having a universal Christian faith, um, which not a lot of people are really good about, but he is. And he was very like, yeah, no, we don't see the Catholics are not Catholics, they're not out here being heretics, like that the Catholics are where all of us came from. Yeah. So if you can't recognize that that Catholics were the first Christians, then you know you've got bigger issues going on. But um, and he was a little nicer than that. But yeah, so and then just the ways in which that he had us studying and the ways that he talked about it, I was just a lot of the kind of walls that I had put up from growing up in the context of being, you know, immersed in anti-Catholic rhetoric, I guess, kind of started to fall off a little bit, which was helpful. And so I was like, well, this is good. So I'm a little bit more open now. And that was really special. But again, I mean, it wasn't ever something that I just woke up and decided to do. But it was it was amusing to me because when I started to look back, I saw some of those pieces falling into place. So the church that I started going to when I was in college, um, because I kind of walked away from the church as a whole when I was in college and I did some stuff. Yeah. And uh just because I was my whole thing was I was just trying to fit Jesus into my mold instead of letting him conform me more and more into his own image and being transformed by him into more like him. And I've told my kids before, I'm like, yeah, but like when you try to fit Jesus into your mold and make him into who you want him to be, you're gonna eventually run into a brick wall because you're gonna realize that you can't actually recreate God to be like you. He created us to be like him. And so I just I tried really hard to make him be like me because I knew I wanted Jesus, but I didn't know how to invite him into the stuff that I was dealing with in a way that he could really holistically transform. And I was I was trying my darndest and it just was not working. Spoilers, it doesn't go very well. Oh no. But uh I had started going back to church um to a really, really fantastic one that was just very I think it was really refreshing for me to see leadership that was not toxic. Coming from the church that I did, there it was very like the Catholic Church is patriarchal, but a fundamentalist Baptist church's patriarchal structure is very different from the Catholic patriarchal structure. And it's very it it you know, I think a good way to describe the distinction between it is like the Catholic Church it always will uphold the inherent dignity of people within its structure, right? Like the Catholic Church's structure is not deterred, like not designed to be oppressive, it's designed to uplift and uphold the dignity of of individuals. And fundamentalist churches are not out here trying to uphold and uplift the dignity of individuals, unfortunately. Um, and so seeing, you know, a lot of toxic, toxic male leadership specifically. And so, you know, people people think it's kind of funny that I became Catholic because I'm really, really turned off by the idea of toxic, like male patriarchal leadership.

Speaker 2 21:05

Yeah.

Longing For Liturgy And Reverence

A Clear Call: Become Catholic

Speaker 21:06

But, you know, I'm just thankful that the Catholic Church is the way that it is. But I had started going back to this really, really wonderful church. It was good to see some really healthy, strong, like genuinely authentically Christian leadership. That was where I really encountered the Holy Spirit for the first time because I came also from a church that taught that the gifts of the Holy Spirit stopped after the apostles kind of passed away. So it was, it was a very horrible. It was horrifying. And then I was like, oh no, you know, so I didn't know that the gifts of the Holy Spirit were alive and active and real. And but I'm also experiencing like all of these poles inside of my heart. And I'm like, well, what is that? I don't know what that is. And so, you know, people are like, oh, that's a spiritual gift, but like a spiritual gift also involves the Holy Spirit, guys. Shocker. Yeah. So then going to this church and um getting to experience like the fullness of the Holy Spirit for the first time in a way that was really beautiful and encouraging and empowering and solidifying to just my identity in in Jesus. And that was really neat. So I had done a lot of healing in that church. I started doing youth ministry in that church actually, as a when I was in college, um, I started volunteering for the middle school youth ministry team and it blew my world apart. It was it was the best thing that I've ever done, except become Catholic and you know, yeah, yeah. Um, but it, I was just like, oh my gosh, this is really, really cool. I didn't think I was going to enjoy talking to a bunch of 12 and 13-year-old kids for two hours, but it's kind of the highlight of my Wednesday nights now. And I was like, okay, well, I I gotta stay here. And so I I stayed and I was actually getting ready to become um a member at that church. And I just started feeling the sense that like the Lord had something else for me, and I didn't really know what it was. Okay. You know, I I'm going to church and I'm like, this is really lovely, but like I really wish that we had more liturgy. And I really wish that we gave higher reverence to communion when we receive it. Like I just And so I'm like thinking of all of these different things and not knowing how ridiculously Catholic they sound, obviously. I'm just like, I was like, you know, I just wish we had more reverence and um that we could do more liturgically inclined types of things in church. Like, um, and I had, you know, I was a choir kid and and we sang all this gorgeous Catholic music, like Thomas Talas and Palestrina and St. Hildegard of Bingen, who's actually my confirmation saint. Um, but uh so singing all of this gorgeous Catholic music and we sang several masses as well, like being full of all of the the the Catholic music and the Catholic musical traditions since I was a little kid and through like middle and high school and college. And then also I started studying Latin as my foreign language when I was in fourth grade, which okay, it's a weird like homeschool kid thing, I guess. But um oh yeah, yeah, homeschool kid, yeah. That yes, that'll do it. But so then, like between loving Latin and loving music, like the the beauty that's there. Like people say truth, goodness, and beauty draws you into the Catholic Church. And for me, it really was beauty that pulled me in the first time. Just looking at all of that now and seeing, oh yeah, I was experiencing all of these things, and I was like, man, I just I wish we could have more Latin and I wish we could do like more liturgical prayers, and I wish we had more reverence for communion. Um, I wish we could sing prettier music and like all this stuff, and not cluing in at all to how Catholic that sounded, and but also simultaneously feeling this like the Lord definitely has something more for me. And I don't know what it is. So then I go to church on Sunday, just random Sunday, summer of 2021. So I'm out of college at this point and I'm still going to church, and I'm trying to discern whether or not I want to become a member at this church that I've been going to. Yeah. But I feel like this nagging sense of like the Lord has something else for me and I don't know what it is. And so I pray about that for a couple of weeks, and then I show up to church and the pastor gets up to give a sermon, and he goes, Have you ever had the feeling that the Lord has something else for you? You're like, yes, and I may lose in my head. They're like, because at this point I haven't told anybody that I'm with as I'm thinking about it, right? It was a little bit too on the nose for me. But then he says, Well, if you have that feeling, you need to ask the Lord first to show you what it is that he has for you. And then secondly, to ask him for the grace to say yes to it. And I was like, Well, this sounds pretty reasonable. I think I can do this, I think I can handle that, right? Because I was just thinking, well, maybe he wants me to go back to school and get an advanced degree. Okay. I was like, well, maybe maybe I do like a career trajectory change or like get like I was thinking about going back to school for social work or or therapy or something like that. What was your degree? My degree was in theater. So I I went to Asbury for a theater degree. Okay, had a great time. Yeah. Uh had no life outside of the theater department.

Speaker 2 26:08

No, no. Okay. So I can buddy house be like, oh, maybe a career change. Yeah, okay, that's reasonable. Well, and it was COVID too.

Testing The Call And Fears Of Change

Abbey Of Gethsemane Confirmation

Speaker 26:15

So I graduated with a theater degree, but then I couldn't work in the arts at all. No, because weren't any. Right, because the arts died and went underground and we had to, you know. So I was like, well, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. So I was thinking, well, maybe the Lord's like putting something else on my radar. Yeah. Um, and I'd been like doing youth ministry related type of work. Uh I was working for the Methodist home at one point. So I was like working for like with for and with teenagers on a professional level and also like still volunteering in my church. So I was like, well, maybe I'm supposed to do like social work or something. So I was, I was actually praying about whether or not the Lord wanted me to go back to school. So I started praying about it like more intentionally, and I was like, okay, well, this is what I'm gonna keep praying. And I didn't really hear an answer for a while, but I would get up and go for a walk and pray about it and then go to work, and then you know, come back, come back and do the same thing. And one morning I get up to go for a walk before work, and I'm just putting my worship music in my earbuds, and I'm walking up the hill, and I'm like, all right, Lord, what have you got for me? I know you have something for me. And I remember like where I was. I remember what the sunlight looked like. I remember what color shirt I was wearing, I think, even like wow. It was one of those like frozen in time moments. And I was walking up the hill. So my apartment was between two hills at the time. So there's a hill here, a hill here. Okay, there's the apartment, and I was walking up this hill, and there's a little tree, and I'm under the tree, and the Lord says to me, I want you to become Catholic. And you're like, What? I said, excuse me. It's like, uh are you sure you don't want me to just be Anglican? I said. Oh wow. And uh he's like, that's not what I said, is it? Wow. So I was like, well, uh I can't, I can't leave that by itself and do nothing about it because that's kind of uh that's kind of a rock your world kind of moment. But I also was like, well, I'm not gonna go do anything about it right away because it's a big deal. It is a big deal. Yeah. Well, and like if you're coming from a background like mine, yeah, I was not about to go and jump on the Catholic train like immediately without using my brain. Um, I I think now if somebody said that to me, I probably would be more inclined to be like, yeah, let's do it. Yeah. Immediately, like with less. If I knew then what I know now, right, right. I probably would have been like, dude, what are you waiting for? Right. Um, but so it it ended up being kind of a process because then I was like, well, now I want to pray with this and make sure that I'm discerning the Lord's voice correctly. And part of me was uh throwing a fit about it because I didn't want to do it. Um but part of me was also like, I really do want to make sure that this is the Lord. And I should have just been like, well, Tori, you weren't thinking about that. That was a thought that entered into your brain that wasn't there before. So that was obviously the Lord, and I know that now. Yeah. Um, but I I did, I just wanted to keep testing it. Part of it was I'm gonna be careful, and part of it was I don't want to become Catholic. So why not? I don't know. Okay. I don't know. I've thought about that. I think because now I'm like, well, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Like, maybe it ended up discussion. So I wake up in the morning and I literally get high because I'm like, I'm Catholic. This is great. But yeah, it wasn't there. Cause like I just I didn't know what it really meant. I had a lot of reservations. Um, you know, you grow up like hearing, oh yeah, the Catholics worship Mary for like 20 years, and you're gonna be like, yeah, no. Um, and then come to find out, not only do they not, but she's now like one of the favoritist parts about being Catholic, which is not a grammatically correct word, but I don't care. Um but yeah, I don't know. I was just really resistant. I'm kind of a stubborn person. Um, so I just I don't know. I guess I just wanted to do my own thing.

Speaker 2 29:58

But so did you just Start like sneaking into mass and sitting in the back and watching, or what was your next step?

Saying Yes On The Holy Hill

First Mass And Overwhelming Beauty

Entering The Church And Serving Youth

Speaker 30:06

That would have been way more dramatic, I think. Uh oh. It would have I it tracks, but I think I was too rebellious at that point. Like, okay. And I liked where I was. Yeah. Um, I was close with the friends that I had. Like the community that I had built up was really important. There was nothing bad happening. Um, there was only good things happening. I was really close with my pastor and his wife at the time. And I was really close with um my other youth leaders that I was doing youth ministry volunteering with. And, you know, I had friends and mentors that I was building relationships with. And like it was not nothing was bad. Um, and so I was like, well, this doesn't, this doesn't make any sense because I I worked my whole life to find a church family like this one. Yeah. Right. And then find it. And you're like, why leave? Why would I leave? Yeah. And so I started kind of praying into that a little bit too of like, I mean, these are my people and I'm gonna lose them, or I'm afraid that I'm going to eventually lose them, or at least at the very least, my relationship with them will look different. Yeah. Even if they are really excited about it, which some of them were, when I eventually did share with them. But I don't know, I just got really in my head. I tend to do that about stuff. But I did, I started like intentionally taking it to prayer because I was like, well, I do want to make sure that I treat this seriously. And so within like a couple of weeks, I kept hearing like a lot of my Protestant friends at church make comments of like, yeah, like, you know, when I go and I take a personal retreat, or if I need to pray about something that's on my mind, or if I just need to like get still before the Lord, I go to this little place called the Abbey of Gethsemane. Oh, I guess there are probably some people who wouldn't know what it is, but it's this um Trappist Benedictine monastery in Bardstown, Kentucky. So it's like an hour, hour and a half from here. And I kept hearing like my Protestant friends, and one of one of them was my youth pastor who I was working with at church, and I really respected him, and I still really respect him. He's great. But he had said something about how he and his wife like go and do silent retreats out of the Abbey of Gethsemane. And I was like, oh, maybe I should go to the Abbey of Gethsemane to pray about becoming Catholic. So, you know, this seems like an appropriate thing to do. So I um I had told my roommate, I said, Hey, I'm praying about becoming Catholic, and I haven't really told anybody about that yet. And she, I said, will you pray about it with me? She's like, Yeah, absolutely. So she had actually been the friend who had invited me to go to church with her. She said this to me later. She's like, Tori, do you remember when I told you you would make a really good Catholic? Because I had been making without even realizing it, I'd been making some really Catholic comments. And and she was like, Tori, you would make a really good Catholic if you ever decided that was the direction that you wanted to go. And I just kind of blew her off and I was like, Yeah, all right. She's right. But I told her, I and just asked her if she'd be praying for me in that. And she's like, Yeah. So Labor Day 2021, which was September 6th, I wake up and my roommate calls me and she's like, Hey, because we had slept in, it was a holiday weekend, it was Monday. And she's like, Hey, do you want to go hiking? And anybody who knows me well knows that hiking is like my number one preferred activity besides drinking coffee. Nice, nice. So I was like, Yeah, of course I want to go hiking. And she said, Okay, great. Well, I want to surprise you with where I take you because I have an idea. So, okay, great. So she comes up because she had been having coffee with a friend. So she came and picked me up and she was like, Yeah, I'm just gonna take you to this cool place. I was like, okay, great. So I said, Hey, you know how I was telling you, I, you know, I've been praying about becoming Catholic. She's like, Yeah. Said, I think I'd like to go to the Abbey of Gethsemane at some point to pray about becoming Catholic. She's like, I don't know when I'm gonna go. I mean, but at some point, probably in the near future, I'd like to go to the Abbey of Gethsemane to pray about becoming Catholic. And she just looks at me kind of funny. And I'm like, what? And she's like, so the Lord woke me up this morning and told me I need to take you to the Abbey of Gethsemane to pray about becoming Catholic. So that's where we're going. Oh wow, that's awesome. And, you know, this is for my very not Catholic roommate. Yeah. And she was like, Yep, that's where we're going. I'm like, oh my gosh, this is really wild. I don't know why at this point I'm still resisting becoming, you know, like the lawyer's like very dramatically getting in my face. He's like, hello. We get out there, and the hiking trail was like a it's like a prayer trail that's lined with different statues of saints and different statues of Mary, and it has like all these sweet little prayer stations along the way, and it's in the woods, and there's like, you know, little rosaries hanging up and everything. It's just very peaceful. It's like a mile-long trail, but at the end of the trail, there's this statue of Peter, James, and John asleep in the garden. And then if you walk up like a few more steps at the top of the hill, there's a statue of Jesus praying in the garden. And there's like this little bench across from uh the statue of Jesus. So you can sit and like be with Jesus and reflect on Jesus and like where he was at and what was going on. And you just, yeah, like so. I'm going up this hill and I'm like, man, like if you've ever been in in like a thin space where it feels like the veil between heaven and earth is just like almost non-existent, and it just feels saturated in holiness and and it it's it's kind of tangible. Like it almost it almost takes your breath away physically just because of how weighty it feels. If you've been to St. Mynrid's um at all, it feels the same way. Like there's certain sections of St. Minerid's when you're hiking, um, because they have like little Marian grottoes and stuff, it feels the same way. It's probably because there's been brothers praying there for 200 years that probably has something to do with it. But it's just very, it's very thin. And you know, I felt like I was hearing from the Lord really, really clearly and very easily. And he was just like, Tori, you know what you have to do. And I was like, Yeah, but like, why? I just like it's just so it just seems so foreign to me, and this is a really big step, and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, Yeah, but you did ask me to show you what it was that I had for you, and you also asked for the grace to say yes to it. And I am here standing here, giving you the grace to say yes. And he said, He's like, I'm not gonna force you. Yeah, because I have free will as a human. We all have free will. Like, Grace doesn't want us to do something because he's forcing it on us, he's never gonna force anything on us. But he's like, I'm inviting you to say yes to what I have for you and what is best for like what is my best for you. And so if you say no to becoming Catholic, it's your choice. You're not gonna wreck your life, but also you kind of will, uh, because you're saying no to my best plan for you. And I was like, Well, I can't argue with that. So yeah, that was kind of where I was at. And I was like, Yeah, I mean, this is this is kind of a big deal. This is pretty freaky, but if it's the Lord's best for me, then I want to be able to step into that fully and embrace it and be okay with with whatever comes. So I I kind of like in my brain, I walked up the hill Protestant and I walked down the hill Catholic.

Speaker 2 37:07

Oh. So you hadn't been to Mass or anything to that point, you just knew you were gonna be casual.

Mission Statement And Final Blessing

Speaker 37:14

That's no, I had I had never been to Mass ever, ever, ever. But um on my commute, like part of what I was doing for work at the time, I had to drive past the cathedral every day, multiple times a day. Like just as part of where I was driving for work. And the Lord was like, Hey, look, it's my house. Oh all the time. He's like, Hey, that's my house. Hey, you should go to my house. And so even though I was living in Wilmore at the time and I was 10 minutes away from St. Luke's, yeah, um, my default was to go to the cathedral for RCIA classes because I drove past the cathedral every day and he was like, That's my house. And, you know, of course, I had no idea what the what the Eucharist was, and I had no idea like about an adoration chapel or the fact that, you know, Jesus's physical self is physically present in the cathedral and and in the Catholic churches. So then I told my roommate and we went out and had dinner that afterwards, after our little hike. And uh it wasn't much of a hike because I got kind of emotionally wrecked, but in a good way. But, you know, we went and uh we had dinner in Bardstown and she's like, hey, you should see about calling somebody at the cathedral since you drive past the cathedral every day for work. You should see if you could call somebody over there about RCIA. So I called Deacon Tim. Yeah, and I was like, You don't know me, but I think I'm supposed to become Catholic. And he's like, Yeah, I think you are, because you're like the eighth or ninth person this in the last week or so who called me and said they wanted to become Catholic. And he's like, Yeah, like tell me a little bit about where you've been. Like, I want more liturgy and I, you know, more reverence for communion. And then I'm starting to realize all those things that like I talked about earlier. I'm like, oh kid, like yeah, clicking into place. So yeah, my first mass was the 5 p.m. mass at the cathedral, and I just like sat on I sat on the back section of like the side. Oh, yeah.

unknown 39:07

Yeah.

Speaker 39:07

So like if you go in and there's like the main section, and then there's the side and this side, and I'm sitting on this side over by the cry room. So I'm facing the altar. And I literally like just sat there and cried the entire time. Because I was like, this is so overwhelmingly beautiful. How have I ever done anything else up in my life up until this point? And I was, I mean, that was the point that I was like, if this is where you want me, I will leave everything. Like, I don't even care anymore. I mean, I would hope that there would be people who would be excited for me and thank the Lord that there were plenty of people who were really supportive and just they were, oh my gosh, I'll be praying for you. That's really cool. But I was like, whether or not that happens, it doesn't matter to me because this is so overwhelmingly beautiful. And this is like, this is where this clearly this Jesus was waiting for me in the Catholic Church, which is what he told me he was doing. Yeah. So uh yeah, and then I came in Divine Mercy Sunday 2022. So that's awesome. Welcome home, right? It's good stuff. It's weird to be working for the church professionally, and I have only been Catholic for three and a half years, but I love it. I'm like, okay, this is where the Lord wanted me to be. So that's a fun time.

Speaker 2 40:18

We're blessed to have you here at Mary Queen, and we're glad that the Lord called you here. It's good and our youth will be blessed to have you. I mean, you just took this position over the summer, so we're just still just beginning.

Speaker 40:29

Yeah. I'm scratching the surface, still trying to learn everybody's names and make sure that they know that I'm paying attention to them, even if it doesn't always seem like I am.

Speaker 2 40:36

And so I love it. As part of the Mary Queen Stories podcast, I always ask my guests their favorite part of our mission statement, and that's a review. Our mission statement is to receive God's love, proclaim the greatness of the Lord, serve joyfully, and make missionary disciples of Jesus Christ. So which one of those resonates with you the most?

Speaker 40:55

I think probably making missionary disciples of Jesus Christ, because you know that's what we were called. We were called to be like Christ, to become like Christ, and then to go and be like little Christs. It's our job to encounter Christ and receive and experience that love so that we can then go and give the gift of Him to somebody else in another way. So being able to make lots and lots of Christ um in miniature form around the world so that everybody has a chance to encounter the hands and feet of Jesus.

Speaker 2 41:25

Thank you so much for joining me today.

Speaker 1 41:27

You're so welcome. I was happy to do it. Thank you for listening to Mary Queen's Stories. To connect with us, visit nqhr.org slash podcast. Until next time, and always, Mary Queen of the Holy Rosary, pray for us.