Is that a lesbian thing?

Nik talks with our first lesbian guest, Jill, about her work as a respiratory therapist for the tiniest humans, how she conceived her four kids, common lesbian questions people ask her, and the advantages of being gay.  

Transcript

Nik: This is a sexual conduct warning, so either get in a private place or turn it off or blast it. Either way, you've been warned it's gonna get sexy. 

 You have a lesbian icon in your tongue.

Jill: Oh, I do. Is this a lesbian thing?

Nik:I think so, isn't it?

Jill: Having my tongue?

Nik: You tell me. Is that a  lesbian thing?

Jill: I mean, I have met a good handful of lesbians who also have their tongue pierced. And you know what? They do make a tongue ring that has a vibrating 

Nik: I bet.

I bet they do. I bet they do.

Jill: That's definitely has to be, I would think, a lesbian thing.

 Nik: For cunnilingus .

Jill: Yes. Right. Correct. Good job, Nicholas.

Nik: Thank you. Uh, I know about, I know all about cunnilingus. Big fan. 

Jill: Where's your vibrating tongue ring? 

Nik: It's in the mail. It hasn't arrived yet.

 What up Queens? This is all the greatest gays where I interview my gay friends about being gay. And today we have our very first lesbian. She is amazing. Her name is Jill, and She's like a literal superwoman. She flies around in helicopters, helping preemie babies breathe.

I'm excited because I just got back from Dodger Stadium last night. It was Pride Night, gay Pride night at Dodger Stadium. It was Overrun with lesbians.

I'm kidding. It was, I'm not kidding. I think former softball players turned baseball fans. They showed up.

Okay. Get ready for this gross generalization.

I bet there are more lesbian baseball fans than there are gay baseball fans. I need a census report on that. Hit me in the comments.

It was such a blast. Shout out to Dodger Stadium and Eric B for putting it all on. Super good vibes.

Kickball in the outfield music. They had a dance off. I met G Flip. It was all gays, all night.

There I was with my little gay QR code.

Hello. It seems that you're gay. I have a gay podcast. Would you like to listen?

For those of you who I met last night, pride night. Thanks for for listening and following and subscribing. I'm really excited to share Jill with you.

Here she is.

Nik: Yay. We're in the booth. We're in the closet. 

Jill: All right.

Nik: We're back.

Back in the closet.

Back in the closet. Were you in the closet ever? 

Jill: I mean, before I came out I was in the closet, so yeah. 

Nik: So did you know that you were in the closet? 

Jill: Yes, I did. I definitely knew I was thinking about girls, so I knew that I was gay from very young on, and I knew that it was not appropriate to say anything about it, and that just, that wasn't something we were gonna do.

So I was like, well, I guess I have to figure out how to like boys. 

Nik: We as in you? 

Jill: Me, as in, I knew like from my parents and just from family and society that. It's not okay to like girls, so you better figure out how to like boys. I always knew that there was something different about me, and I really didn't know what it was until probably I was in my young teenage years, like 12, 13, as I started to hit puberty. Then I knew at least of a few gay people I knew what the term was. I knew that there were women that love women. But I also knew, or the impression was given, that it was not okay. 

Nik: I'm so excited that, that we get to do this because you are a lesbian.

Jill: A gay lesbian. 

I'm a gay lesbian. Gay lesbian. Queer. Queer. 

Nik: A queer, gay, lesbian, lesbian female. 

Yeah, exactly.

Jill: Yes, yes. I'm a female who loves women.

Nik: You have what? Seven kids? 

Jill: It's close. Four. Four.

Nik: Four kids.

Jill: Yes.

Nik: Seems so crazy to me to have four children.

Jill: It is crazy. I mean. Yes. 

Nik: I can't imagine having one child.

Jill: It's a lot, but thankfully, you know, they grow up and two of 'em are up and outta the house, so.

Nik: What was it like being a respiratory respiratory, respiratory therapist?

Respiratory therapist with all the, thildwen. 

Jill: With all the children? Uh, it was good. It was good because a couple of 'em had asthma, so I was well equipped to take care of them. 

Nik: What is the average age for your patients? 

Jill: The majority of our patients are what I call baby in a box. So they fit in an isolette, so they're usually less than five kilos.

Uh, those are my favorite personally, but

Nik: That's like a hand, that's like a handful of baby. 

Jill: It's a handful of baby. It's like a brand new baby.

Nik: Wow.

Jill: You know? Um, but I take care of babies are as small as like four or 500 grams, like literally about a pound. 

Nik: Just came out, 

Jill: just came, came out too soon. Came too early.

Too early, too soon, but. Doing everything they can to survive. So yeah, we'll take care of them all. So I take care of a lot of babies that are that small, to all, to children that are 18, 19, 20, 21 even. 

Nik: What would you say has been like the most impactful part of dealing with brand new humans? 

Jill: When I worked in the hospital that had a delivery room. The most impactful part for me was being able to attend a delivery and see a baby being born and seeing a child being brought into this world, and then being able to be with parents on their best day ever, usually their best day ever. Bringing a child into the world, and then also having to help them through what could be their worst day ever.

Having to have a child that is sick ill, or needing to be in our neonatal ICU for care that wasn't anticipated. Being able to just support families in that way has been the most rewarding thing for me. 

Nik: Hmm. How many babies had you seen born before you saw your babies born? 

Jill: Oh, lots. 

Nik: Lots of like, 

Jill: Yeah, hundreds. Yeah.

Nik: Hundreds. 

Jill: Hundreds. Yeah.

Nik: If not thousands. Do you have a tally somewhere?

Jill: Probably not thousands, but hundreds. Yeah. My first baby, he was born at the hospital that I worked at. So that's 

Nik: Your baby 

Jill: My baby.

Nik: Your baby boy.

Jill: Uhhuh. My first baby boy. Uhhuh. He was born at Cedar-Sinai. Oh. And I was actually born at Cedar-Sinai too.

Nik: We're both Cedar-Sinai, Cedars babies. That's right. I want my foreskin back if you're listening, Cedars. 

Jill: Oh yeah. I, yes. I mean, I made sure he kept his foreskin 

Nik: Good for him.

Jill: I would not 

let them take it away.

Nik: Yeah, it seems like it--

Jill: And it was a battle at the time. I was like, no, no. If he wants that gone, he can take care of it later.

Nik: Yeah.

Jill: Why would I take it from him? 

Nik: Yeah. That's crazy.

Jill: It is crazy, isn't it? I mean, that's a whole other subject, but it's like, what are we thinking? And I came from a family who was, I was raised Jewish, so it was a big deal.

Nik: Right.

Jill: I'm not gonna have him circumcised. 

Nik: Right, right, right.

Jill: No, i'm not going to cut off part of his body.

Nik: I love how you're a lesbian and we're here talking about penises.

Jill: Yeah. I mean, yeah. 

Nik: So your first baby boy, did you give birth to this?

Jill: I did. I gave birth to him.

Nik: You carried him?

Jill: Mm-hmm. Carried him. 

Nik: How did all that happen? 

Jill: Just straight up artificial insemination. Very simple. You go to the California cryobank, you go and get your specimen.

You pick out from a catalog of very highly qualified men that go through. They say that they really take a very small percentage. So it was like some genius in medical school who really wanted to give back to community. And you don't get to see a picture of them, but you do get to see like height, weight.

Their GPA, what they are studying. Picked out a nice man, went and got the goods, brought it home, did the insemination. So my partner at the time was able to get me pregnant at home. Easy peasy. I don't really need much else. 

Nik: Right, of course. Yeah. You just need, you just needed the seed.

Jill: I needed the goods. Yeah.

Yeah. Needed the seed. 

Nik: Alleged genius. I've just been waiting to say that. 

Jill: Alleged genius. Well, I mean, my, my oldest son is, is really a genius. 

Nik: Yeah. Oh, you've told me about him. I forgot about some, some. What makes him so genius? Like what are his,

Jill: I mean, he skipped high school, right? 

Nik: So what, and he's working on his PhD right?

Jill: At Caltech and he is, you know, 22 years old, so

Nik: This bitch.

Jill: And he just also got published in some magnificent something or other called Cell and yeah, so he's published.

Nik: Probably were telling you the truth about this guy's stats.

Jill: Yeah.

Nik: This, this, I think, do you, do you have like a term for the artificial donor or there's not, there's nothing artificial about him.

Jill: Yeah, no, he's real.

We used to call him the donor dad or like, you know, the donor. And it was funny because when the kids were younger, we told them we had a very nice man who helped donate his seed so we could have a baby. And thankfully we were able to have you. And if you ever wanna meet this person at some point when you're older, we have information that we can hook you up to it.

But my oldest son never wanted to meet his donor dad.

Nik: Oh.

Jill: Now my daughter who's 20, she always wanted to meet. She was like--

Nik: She's number two?

Jill: She's number two. Yeah. So I gave birth to her too.

Nik: Uhhuh.

Jill: And they have different donors. Because his donor was done, I guess, you know, could there--

Nik: There was no more seed left,

Jill: No more of him, no more of the other seed left.

Nik: Would you have, would you have, would that have been your first choice? 

Jill: I really wanted to leave it up to the universe. Some people will put away, they're like, okay, let me have 10 more vials in case I do wanna have another baby. And then you have to pay for the storage. It's a whole thing. 

Nik: I love that. My dad has a joke. He actually did this on the Tonight Show, and he says, uh, yeah, freezing, freezing. My, my semen, uh, takes a real man to fill one of those ice cube trays.

Jill: That's pretty funny.

Nik: So some people say no, like, yeah, I want more of that seed for later.

Jill: And then they'll pay and they'll be, I got 20 vials, or whatever they do.

Or they'll buy the whole thing out.

Nik: Oh my.

Jill: And then they'll keep it.

Nik: I want all, I want all of it.

Jill: I want all of it.

Nik: Wow. What a racket. Right? That must be, I love it. I'm getting so fired up right now. Um, okay, so you were just available to whatever seed comes your way.

Jill: I just like, yeah, but actually I was able to find a couple more of my first child's donor, but it didn't take, so then we went to another one. 

Nik: What's the take process? Turkey baster, 

Jill: Basically turkey baster. Yeah. Basic Turkey baster.

Nik: Is it a specific Turkey baster or do you use like--

Jill: Just a regular syringe. 

Nik: Right. How much, How much semen? 

Jill: Oh, it's very little actually. 'Cause they like, like

Nik: if you, if you're in my hand, you know.

Jill: It's like maybe a teaspoon. 

Nik: Wow. I have more questions for, for semen scientists. I mean, yes. So where were we? We were talking about your, your number two.

Jill: Yeah. Number two. Different, different donor. 

Nik: Baby number two. Mm-hmm. Um, different donor.

Jill: Yeah.

Nik: And she always wanted to meet this donor.

Jill: She always wanted to meet, even when she was a kid, she was like, I want my daddy to do this, that and the other.

'Cause she had friends who, of course had moms and dads, so that was probably one of the difficult parts for her growing up to see, even though when they were in school and they were in elementary school, there were other kids that had like two dads and a handful of others that had two moms. We tried to be intentional about being around families that also were gay, that had children, but you know, the majority of their friends had a mom and a dad, and so she was always like, where's my dad?

Nik: What the fuck? I want a dad too. Yeah. I'm a, I'm a daddy's girl with no dad.

Jill: Yeah.

Nik: Do you think that was part of it? Like the gender kind of a 

Jill: Maybe. I mean, it could be for sure. Even though, you know, like my dad was very present in her life at the time and 

Nik: Grandpa. 

Jill: Grandpa. Mm-hmm. And my, and my partner's dad as well. So we always tried to have good male figures around, but she wanted dad. 

Nik: Mm-hmm. 

Jill: We haven't been able to connect up yet, so 

Nik: You're kidding. 

Jill: We, we sent a message and, 'cause he's a, he's like a, what they call like a yes donor. So he's available and he's open to meeting his offspring. 

Nik: He's a yes donor.

Jill: He's a yes donor.

Nik: As opposed, As opposed to a No donor.

Jill: No donor.

Nik: No, no, no.

Jill: 'Cause some people Right, you make this,

Nik: I get it.

Jill: Yeah. To do this and you're like, maybe 20 years later you're like, wait, I don't know if I wanna meet my offspring and respect, you know? 

Nik: And how were the stats for him? His GPA was obviously not as high as the other guy.

Jill: I mean, his stats were just as good. But you'll hear my daughter say the same thing, like, 'cause she struggled a little bit, and she actually didn't struggle ,in school. She's very smart. She's also brilliant. I tell all the kids the same thing. Like, nobody's gonna be like your older brother. Nobody, really, there's very few people that are like him.

Like, so don't try. He's, he's, yeah, he's a genius. He's literally a genius. So it's like, but she was like, how come I didn't get that donor too? And I was like, we tried. It just wasn't in the cards for you. 

Nik: Wasn't meant, wasn't meant to be. 

Jill: No. 

Nik: Yeah, it, it's interesting. You can't help but wonder about all the X factors, right? One of the favorite bits of wisdom that I got a while back was like, it's never one thing. 

Jill: It's very true. It's never one thing. 

Nik: I just find that applies to so many things, like was it you? Was it the sperm? Was it the blah? You know, it's like it's never one thing. 

Jill: Never one thing.

Nik: But my brain wants it to be one, to be one thing, because that's really simple.

Jill: It is simple. 

Nik: And I prefer simple solutions. 

Jill: Most people do, I think. 

Nik: Yeah. So three and four went.

Jill: So three and four. When I met my, well, now she's my ex, but my wife at the time, she wanted to have kids and she was very clear with me that she wanted to have to be pregnant twice. So that meant if she had twins the first time, it doesn't matter. We're having another baby. 

Nik: She wanted to be pregnant twice. Oh.

Jill: She wanted to be pregnant twice.

Nik: Oh, that's cool.

Jill: Not just two kids, because that's,

Nik: She hadn't been pregnant at all and she's like, I wanna do this twice.

Jill: Yep. She knew she wanted to be, and I was like, okay, I guess I'm doing this. And it, it worked out really well.

We got married and got pregnant right away also at home.

Nik: But you took the, you took the first pack. 

Jill: I, I gave birth to the first two and she wanted to be pregnant. She always knew she wanted to be pregnant. She always knew she wanted to be a mom. 

Nik: Why did you go first then, with the being pregnant?

Jill: Well, my, no, 'cause I was with my first partner and then we, we split up. 

Nik: Oh, I missed that part.

Jill: Yeah. Sorry, I might've missed saying that too. So yeah, we split up when my two older ones were, let's see, they were four and two.

Nik: Got it.

Jill: And then I met my wife at the time, and then we got together very quickly, and then we wanted to have babies because she wanted to have babies.

And I was a little bit older than her, and she was young, and we wanted to make sure that the kids were not too far apart in age.

Nik: Hmm.

Jill: Yeah. So they're 20, 22, and 15 and 13. So. A bit far apart, but not so much when they were little. And when my 15-year-old daughter, when she was born, like they were very hands on.

They were actually at her delivery. So they were in the delivery room. 

Nik: They saw that shit. 

Jill: They saw it, they wanted to see it. Oh yeah, yeah. My oldest, he was like, I wanna see this. I wanna be a part of this. And I think it was really bonding for them. It was really like beautiful to be able to see their little sister be born in the world.

Oh my gosh. Yes. And see their, and then they got to hold her right away. And we were all together as a family.

Nik: Wow.

Jill: And yeah, it was, it was really beautiful. 

Nik: Um, my sister just had a baby. Um, we're like in that place of, gosh, should I just get my tubes tied? Talk about sperm donor.

Jill: I mean, right. If you don't want, if you don't want a baby, then 

Nik: It seems like it never even crossed my mind. 

Jill: Until you held a baby.

Nik: No. Well, that, that come, no. What crossed my mind when I had that baby was like, this little baby just came out of my sister. What? I was the first to hold it.

Jill: Aw.

Nik: I know. I've, I was like, rip my shirt off. I'm like trying to dominate, being the favorite uncle. Um, 

Jill: Oh yeah, I think, you're doing a good job.

Nik: It's just more like, uh, birth control. Yeah. It just seems like the most logical, it's like, let's just, what if we cut it off at the source?

Jill: Right. 

Cut it off at the source and then that you have the control. Yeah. I don't know what that's like to have to be worried about being pregnant at any given time.

Nik: I know, the gays really have that going for them.

Jill: Yeah. I mean, thankfully you have to have something going for us.

Nik: You gotta have something. Well, yeah. Yeah. What, what else do you think the gays have going for themselves? 

Jill: That's a good, that's a good question. I mean, we do have a lot going for us. I mean, I get all the pretty women. Women are beautiful.

Nik: I dunno all the pretty women. I have one of the pretty women.

Jill: You do have one of the pretty women. And lots of women, like women and men. So I feel like this time and day and age people are more open to just being like, okay, I'm just gonna see what kind of soul aligns with me.

Nik: Right.

Jill: Even my own children, like they're, let's see, one of 'em is bisexual or says that they're open. Uh, and I love that. I'm like, great. You don't have to. Why would you limit yourself? I know, it's fine.

Nik: I was, I was afraid of being bi just 'cause that means everyone could reject me. 

Jill: Or everyone could accept you. 

Nik: That too. I love this idea of like, what do the gays got going for themselves? They've got like an automatic club.

Jill: Automatic club, right? 'Cause okay. Usually people can tell that I'm gay. Right? I have been recently described as a soft masculine. This wasn't a term I really was familiar with, but I guess it is a term soft masc. And I was like, oh, okay, is that what I am? 'Cause I'm like, I thought it was like a tomboy. But there is a distinction between these two.

Nik: Soft masculine. Like you're like, are you saying I'm not buff?

Jill: Right? Like I'm not, I'm not butch. And yeah. And I'm like, wait, I have muscles, but no.

Nik: You're fit as fuck, bro.

Jill: Right. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. But the girl I'm seeing has said that, yes, I think you're this soft masculine. So I was like, oh, okay. I think I'm fairly obviously gay, but when you like women who are very feminine, like they're not obviously gay, so it makes it more difficult.

Nik: Totally.

Jill: Thankfully, I met. Her at a gay and lesbian event. So I'm like, great. Make the odds a little bit easier for me. Everyone who's coming, you should be gay or lesbian. Awesome. 

Nik: You better, you guys. Everyone here better be gay.

Jill: That's right. I'm gonna check your card at the door.

Nik: That's funny. Yeah, I know. I would be game for one of those events. Right? But I was like, I'm I'm honorary member here. 

Jill: Honorary. Yeah. But you'd have to have like a little tag on you. Right?

Nik: Like, or on my forehead.

Jill: I'm honorary Right. But I really am straight. Yeah. Yes. On your forehead. 

Nik: Not, not gay.

Jill: But being a, you know, a lesbian. You're looking at women who you find attractive, who are often very feminine. 

Nik: No, I get it.

Jill: Then you're likely to be like, I don't know, you're probably straight. I'm not sure. I can't quite figure it out. 

Nik: What's the gayest like event you've ever been to? 

Jill: Ooh. That's a good question. Gay Pride. We Ho. It's pretty gay.

Nik: Pretty gay.

Jill: Pretty good chance you're gonna meet someone else that's gay there. Oh, I know another good one!

Nik: Please.

Jill: Dinah Shore. Dinah Shore is a gay women's lesbian event that happens in Palm Springs. 

Nik: Isn't Dinah Shore, i'm gonna maybe sound stupid. Isn't she a singer? 

Jill: No, she's not a singer. Now, this is where I'm gonna sound stupid, because I wanna say she's a golf player, and it became like some type of golf tournament. I think someone recently told me that she's not actually gay. I'm not even sure how the event came about, but there is an event every year called Dinah Shore, and it is a lesbian festival of women in the pools, pool parties, drinking, partying, hooking up, having an amazing time.

And I have gone at least--

Nik: Cunnilingus. 

Jill: Lot of cunnilingus. I've gone at least 15 times in my lifetime.

Nik: And 90, a hundred percent women?

Jill: Yes.

Nik: Or women identifying.

Jill: Yes.

Nik: Lesbians. Yeah.

Jill: Yes.

Nik: How is it, how is it going with like the changing of the house lately? I haven't heard that update. 

Jill: Yeah. So. It's going.

It's going. We are selling the house now. So we split up about seven months ago, and then we tried to cohabitate in the house together. Not a great idea. 

Nik: Good for you for trying.

Jill: I mean, we tried. We did try, not, not a great idea. And everyone told us it's not a great idea, but we were still like, we're gonna do it.

We're gonna do it. I think. It's true, like when you break up, you need space. You actually need physical space and time and you don't really need to be seeing that person. I didn't wanna compromise not seeing my children every day, so it was difficult, but ultimately we wound up moving out. I moved out first and we're selling the house, so that's good.

Nik: I don't think my parents ever considered that. The possibility of like try. Yeah. Trying to cohabitate. But also your kids, they're all young adults. Yes. And adults. And you can talk pretty frankly to them. 

Jill: We try to, yeah.

Nik: And you're so honest. You have a great way of being gentle and direct. 

Jill: Thank you. I try.

Nik: What's your vision for like the future of your family? 

Jill: My vision for the future of our family is that we all get to still hang out together as a family. We will do holidays together because it's important. My soon to be ex-wife, she came from a divorced family. My parents were together their whole time.

So I don't know anything about living or being in a, from a divorced family.

Nik: Hmm.

Jill: She did. So she knew. She was like, when my mom and dad split, we still did holidays together, so we decided the same thing that we'll do Christmas and Thanksgiving together.

Nik: No Hanukkah. 

Jill: I know. We don't really do Hanukkah. I know my mom's very sad about it.

So that is my vision, is to be able to fulfill that and to be able to have all of these holidays together and be respectful and kind and yes. To have them together with our nuclear family and then include whoever is whoever's newly invited. I hope that my ex finds a partner, if that's what she wants, and that we can sit down and have dinner together with our children and vice versa.

And I can bring whoever I have new in my life and that we can sit down as adults and. Be nice, kind and caring and loving with our children. 

Nik: Uh, let's see, what was my next, 

Jill: I don't know. You're, you can ask me anything. What are, what are, what are your other lesbian questions? 

Nik: That was, that, that's what I was gonna ask is what do you think are like common misconceptions about lesbians?

Jill: Hmm. The misconception is like, well, what do we do? Or that it's all about sex or it's all about, you know, that's like, what do you, what do you mean? We do the same things. We gotta go to the grocery store and, you know. 

Nik: I thought you were talking about like sexually, like what do we do sexually?

Jill: Right. No, like, I mean, I think we do very similar things sexually. Don't you think? 

Nik: I don't know. You tell me. What are, what are the sexual things?

Jill: I mean, a lot of cunnilingus. Definitely. 

Um, 

Nik: And then is that the same time or, or or is that?

Jill: It can be, it's very nice when it's at the same time. Definitely.

Nik: Yeah. I'm into that.

Jill: It can be distracting though because, you know, 

Nik: I feel like it probably works better since you have matching genitalia.

You can kind of get into a similar rhythm.

Jill: Yes, you can. Definitely. But I think that the sex is great 'cause it's like, you know your body and I know what I like and I'm very into pleasing my partner, so I wanna make sure that I'm, you know, open. The communication is good. I think that sometimes with straight couples maybe it's difficult to talk about those things.

Nik: Totally.

Jill: But yeah, I mean, sex is great. I. Enjoy sex with a woman. 

Nik: Not to be weird, but I'd like to hear more about the sex. 

Jill: Okay. You don't have to be weird. What else would you like to hear? So, okay. Toys. I think that that's a big thing that people ask about, like, are you like having to use a dildo or do you have to have a strap on?

And I'm like, no, I, I don't need any of those things. Yes, I don't mind bringing it into the bedroom if that's what my partner wants or to like change it up. But I prefer just to use my hands and my mouth. 

Nik: Hands and mouth. classic, classic toys.

Jill: You know? Uh, yeah.

Nik: The toys god gave you.

Jill: The scissoring thing is a real thing.

Nik: Oh yeah.

Jill: Scissoring thing. Yeah.

Nik: Can go into that a little bit?

Jill: Oh, okay. 

I mean, so yeah, you can just spread your, each other's legs. Right. And you can put yourself on each other and then feel each other at the same time. It's pretty amazing.

Nik: Feel each each other as in also use your hands while you're scissoring?

Jill: You can, not usually though, I can usually just like, you know, basically

Nik: Press, press, rub. Just ride that cowboy.

Jill: Ride it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. 

Nik: That's great. 

You know, I love that.

Jill: You know, that little button, the, the clitoris?

Nik: I've, I've seen it.

Jill: Have you seen it?

Nik: I've touched it.. 

Jill: You're familiar with it, right?

Nik: Yeah, I've, um, I've focused on it too hard. 

Jill: Not hard. Yeah.

Nik: No.

Jill: It's just focus on it. Yes.

Nik: The little, the little. Man in the boat. 

Jill: There's no little man in my boat.

Nik: The little girl. The little girl in the boat.

Jill: Yeah, the little girl in the boat.

Yes. Um, yeah, that works. 

Nik: When you say little girl in the boat, it sounds worse though.

Jill: That sounds worse. I dunno what's worse. Um, but yes, I mean, being able to maneuver yourself that way and just be creative with those things.

Nik: I love it. Um, yeah. And then do you typically like, like the ideal is to come together? 

Jill: Ideally, yes, for sure. And I can make that happen sometimes. Sometimes it's a little more difficult, but that's okay.

Nik: Mm-hmm.

Jill: This is probably TMI, but well, whatever, we're already on the show go along, doesn't, it doesn't take me long to come, like, to come, so usually my partner can easily get me to come and I can have multiple orgasms, so it doesn't really matter. I'm like, I'm really good to go whenever, so as long as I can get them to get off. It's usually very easy for me to, and just being able to please them is very much a turn on for me. So then I'm right there. 

Nik: I relate to that completely. You and I are similar in the bedroom. I'm like, I can, I can come in no time.

Jill: Right? I can come in no time. It's fine. It's, you barely have to touch me and I'm good.

You're good. 

Nik: I've come before we even got here, right? Yeah, I know what you mean. I went to like a sex positive workshop in college.

Jill: Yes. 

Nik: And I was like the only person there without a partner. I'm like, just--

Jill: Oh, I love you, nicholas.

Nik: Just here for some feedback guys.

Jill: You're like, just tell me am I doing it right?

Nik: And that's what she said. She's like, it was like the end of the workshop there did lots of questions and conversations they had. They went through their whole spiel and, Is there any questions. And I raised my hand? I'm like, yeah, what do I do?

That was the essence of my question. And she's like, she looked at me, she's like, honey, don't come until she does. And I'm like, oh. It was like, that's so helpful. That's such clear direction. 

Jill: Yeah. 

Nik: This is, this brings up a point because I feel like a lot of straight guys have a thing for lesbians. 

Jill: Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know that.

Nik: I certainly did back when I watched porn, I preferred lesbian porn. 

Jill: Oh. I mean, that's funny. I know a lot of lesbians prefer gay porn. Gay porn, two gay guys having sex with each other. I know.

Nik: Really?

Jill: I mean, I don't mind it either. I think it's, it can be kind of hot still. Like I, I don't mind it even, and it's funny because I'm a lesbian, but I feel like, I don't know, it's sex. And see, I, I, gay boys are fine.

Nik: I have no interest in watching gay porn. 

Jill: Yeah. I don't mind gay porn. The straight porn. I don't,

Nik: I mean, gay. Gay as in gay guy porn.

Jill: Gay guy porn. Yeah. Interesting. 

Nik: Yeah, I feel like there's like a whole kind of, what is it called? Not obsession, but there's like a, what's it called? When you have a thing? What's your...

Jill: Fetish?

Nik: No, there's like, there's like a new hip term for when you have a thing.

Jill: If it's a new hip, new and hip. I'm not sure if I got it.

Nik: You're no help.

Jill: I I'm no help here.

Nik: You're an old gay, right?

Jill: I'm an old gay. Yeah. 

Nik: I don't mean that you're old, but you've like,

Jill: oh, thanks.

Nik: Been out of the game for a while. 

Jill: I have been outta the game for a while. It is what it is.

Nik: It's having kids, being a professional,

Jill: Having kids, being a professional, gay.

Nik: Professional, gay. Oh, what is it like in the workforce? Has that come up in like a negative way?

Jill: Yeah. No, not in a negative way. I've been very lucky and I've always been very out and open about like who I am.

I've never tried to pretend that I'm not gay, like I just am like, this is what it is, this is who I am. You like it. Great. If you don't, great. And thankfully I've worked in the healthcare field where I think it's pretty open and pretty accepting. Maybe it's 'cause I live in Los Angeles and it's open and accepting here, but I haven't had any issues.

I've been really very lucky. 

Nik: How has it been a positive impact on your work life? 

Jill: I think it's been positive in the sense that people know that I'm open-minded and they feel comfortable with me 'cause they know I'm comfortable with myself. 

Nik: There is something about, I love making large generalizations about gays that are positive.

Jill: Okay. I like this. 

Nik: I feel like if I know someone's gay, I can trust them. 

Jill: I think you're right. I think the gays are fairly trustworthy. Yeah. I'm gonna go with that one. I'm gonna agree with you. I feel like it's a shared struggle. You know, when you meet people who are in the. Somewhat of the same generational age growing up being gay, I just know that your struggle was probably similar to mine.

I hope that when they're younger now, their struggle's been different, but like I think it's that sense of you're real. There's something about you that I can trust. 

Nik: That's positive.

Jill: Yeah, positive for the gays. Yes.

Nik: Is there anything about your story that you would like to share with someone who doesn't know you?

Jill: I think the biggest thing I'd like to share is I'm just so happy that society has been more open. I love hearing that kids nowadays are being able to go to school and be authentic in who they are, because that's really the message that I would just want to be able to embrace, is that like, just be who you are.

I don't care if you wanna love boys, girls, if you wanna be a boy or a girl, if you wanna wear a dress and you're a boy, it doesn't matter. Just love yourself for who you are. Be able to be authentic in who you are. Just be a good person. Be kind, caring, and loving. And you know, I don't give a fuck who you wanna sleep with, and hopefully that's the message that keeps getting passed down.

Nik: That's great. Is that the message you would give to yourself? 

Jill: If I could turn back and yeah, and talk to my little inner child and my inner self, which I have, it's been like, yeah, you're okay just the way you are. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. You're loved. You are perfect.

You're accepted just for who you are.

Nik: Oh, wasn't that a nice place to end? Jill is just, she's the kind of delicious, that is the perfect combination of savory and sweet.

She's amazing. Those kids are lucky to have her as a mom. We're lucky to have her as a friend. Love you, Jill.

I do have more semen science question. Of course. I'm like, what about the semen? Go back to the semen conversation. Like could you buy out all of one person so that no one else could have him? Could you deny siblings unless you chose it to be so, like that's getting into some God stuff. Right. Anyways, hope you enjoyed Jill.

And if you wanna see Jill in a helicopter, go to All the Greatest Gays on Instagram. 

If you'd like to support all the greatest gays, all you have to do is like it and subscribe, you know, send it to a friend, gay or straight, or somewhere in between. Send this around.

People seem to be liking it and I'm so delighted. I've gotten zero hate mail, so, um, I'm due. Go ahead and send it if you got it. Actually keep it to yourself.