Series 3 Episode 8 - The Stand-Up Mam with Kay Wilson

In this engaging conversation, Kay Wilson shares her remarkable journey from a career in public relations to becoming a stand-up comedian and author. After experiencing a life-altering brain haemorrhage, Kay decided to pursue her passion for comedy, leading to the creation of her debut novel, 'The Stand Up Mam.' The discussion explores themes of resilience, creativity, and the importance of humour in overcoming life's challenges. Kay also reflects on her experiences in the comedy community and her aspirations for future projects, including her upcoming novel.

Kay Wilson lives near Sunderland and is married with two children. She worked in PR for 30 years. At 48, after a near-fatal brain haemorrhage, she decided to do stand-up comedy, performing unpaid, five-minute gigs for two years. This was the inspiration for her debut novel The Stand-Up Mam, which is shortlisted for a Comedy Women in Print self-published award.

kaywilsonwriter.com

Insta: @kaywilsonwriter                                     FB: kaywilsonwriter

Takeaways

Kay's journey into PR was accidental, stemming from a desire to work in television.

Writing has always been a passion for Kay, dating back to her teenage years.

A near-fatal brain haemorrhage prompted Kay to pursue stand-up comedy.

Kay emphasises the importance of living life fully after facing adversity.

The process of writing her debut novel was inspired by her stand-up experiences.

Kay's book aims to inspire women to prioritise their own dreams and ambitions.

The Comedy Women in Print Prize highlights the need for recognition of female comedy writers.

Kay found support and community within the comedy scene, which helped her grow as a performer.

The challenges of self-publishing taught Kay valuable lessons about the publishing process.

Kay's upcoming novel explores themes of friendship and personal growth through humour.

Insta @hearmeroarhere

Facebook Hear Me Roar

YouTube @hearmeroarhere

Get in touch: hearmeroarhere@gmail.com or via our website hearmeroarhere.com

Transcript

Hear Me Roar (00:00)

Hello!

Marie, I made you a cup of tea and I can't believe that you haven't read the cup. Oh for god's sake.

It says Lady Twat of Knobbington Manor. I can't believe it. I did that cup specially for you. That's just delightful. What does yours say? says Cuppachino. Well that's very tame compared to mine. Well that is the cafe that's in my books. Is it? And do know what it is? My sister was walking past a cafe one day and she...

She sent me a picture of their menu on the board outside and they'd misspelt cappuccino and they'd just basically done it really literally and written it cuppa-chino. Really? That's a good name for a cafe. And I thought that's a perfect name for a cafe. Thank you for whoever couldn't spell. That's like those, there's a cat cafe. Yeah. Is there a dog one? Puppuccino. Oh yeah. If there isn't, there should be.

Puppuccino. What's the cat one? buy Puppuccinos for dogs. so it's not called that. I'm talking creamy, ice creamy things. Talking bollocks then, aren't I? Absolutely. Just for a change. As per. So the cafe in my book is called Cuppuchino.

there's a shoe shop, Linda Loves Laces. Chip Shop, O'Friar of Scotland. There's loads of them. I just sit there.

I'm making up absolute rubbish, it's the best job in the world. And then you just talk absolute rubbish. Yeah, well, why not? I went to the trouble of getting a cup made with Cuppachino written on it. I like mine better though. Lady Twat of Knobbington Manor. Yeah, my daughter gave me that. Kind of says it all really. Yes it does. Our great relationship. Yes it does. Love it. Love it.

Oh, so today we are talking to another writer. She's called Kay Wilson. She lives near Sunderland and is married with two children. So she worked in PR for 30 years and at 48, after a near fatal brain haemorrhage, she decided to do stand up comedy, which is why this episode is called episode. Teeth in! episode is called

The Stand Up Mam. Yes. She performed unpaid five minute gigs for two years. And this was the inspiration for her debut novel, The Stand Up Mam, which is shortlisted for a Comedy Women in Print Award.

So let's go and meet Kay.

Hear Me Roar (02:59)

Okay.

Kay (03:00)

Thank you for having me.

Hear Me Roar (03:01)

Lovely to see you. it's lovely to have you here. So we've just been ⁓ having a chat about your bio and we were fascinated about the fact that you worked in PR. How did you get into that?

Kay (03:15)

It was a bit of an accident really, I wanted to work in television and I got a job as a temporary secretary at Tyne Tees Television.

But I couldn't get a permanent job in, but because I was in the press office answering all kinds of viewers' inquiries, I managed to work in a PR agency. And when I went to work there, I didn't even really know what PR was because I knew about dealing with journalists. But after that, I really enjoyed it. It was dealing with all kinds of photographs for all different kinds of companies. It was absolutely super. You got to write press releases, which I was always being interested in. And there was so

Hear Me Roar (03:23)

Right.

Kay (03:51)

variety was fantastic.

Hear Me Roar (03:53)

So you've always enjoyed writing then if you were writing press releases that's obviously a skill that you had.

Kay (03:58)

Yeah, it's been a complete dream of mine to write and I used to write right from being probably a teenager, I would write really bad poems. So it was quite a relief to go and do PR writing which had to be really structured and I did miss doing creative writing but if you've written some days I would maybe do 4,000 words a day and it could be like a 2,000 word feature about some kind of tech thing and a thousand word press release about a chemistry plant. So I really sort of put my

Hear Me Roar (04:07)

Hahaha ⁓

Kay (04:28)

the creative writing to one side because you just haven't got the brain space. When you go home after writing at speed on a whole range of subjects, the thought of doing something either a simple poem or a piece of prose, your brain's too tired I found

Hear Me Roar (04:32)

Bye.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. yeah. So what sparked your life change and move into a more creative arena was brain haemorrhage, is that correct?

Kay (04:56)

Yes, it was. I was going shopping with my daughter for her 13th birthday down to York because we live up in South Tyneside. So it was a bit of a trek, but it was all the Jack Wills rage at the time. Everybody wanted to have Jack Wills clothes. So so so we went down. We had a great day shopping. And just before we were due to go home, I just felt as if I'd been stabbed in the eye with a huge ice pick. I was in the shop and I thought that.

Hear Me Roar (05:11)

Hmm

Kay (05:24)

pain was absolutely horrific. And then it went because I felt as if there was a balloon going off in my head. ⁓ So I thought, well, that's really strange. And then once this balloon had gone off, I felt loads better. And then I felt really ill and this was all still within about two seconds in the shop. And I thought, what on earth can this be? And the only thing I could think it could be was meningitis because I didn't know anything else that could be so quick. So I went outside because I was starting to think I don't think I'm

Hear Me Roar (05:30)

very funny.

Kay (05:52)

well enough to drive home and then I managed to walk a few steps and my daughter was asking if I was okay and then I remember holding onto some railings and my sort of brain cut out but I could still see which was very strange because

Hear Me Roar (06:08)

Right.

Kay (06:11)

It was like being in Wallace and Gromit in the wrong trousers. So it was like I had a diving bell on me. So my eyes could see out. I can still picture the street in York where it happened. But then my legs started to walk and I wasn't telling them to walk. So they walked. But the funny thing is, I've got a good sense of humour, but this is mad because...

Hear Me Roar (06:15)

you

Wow.

Kay (06:30)

they walked me into a shop door and as they were walking me around and I wasn't telling them to move I can remember thinking, hey this is funny. Which is, I mean, having a sense of humour and being slightly crackers because really you don't expect yourself to think, hey isn't this really funny? And with hindsight I think I still don't know how I found that funny but it just struck me as really funny. Anyway, I walked into a shop door and that was lucky because it stopped me in my tracks, I fell back.

Hear Me Roar (06:40)

Good.

Kay (06:54)

and a woman who was passing, who was a retired paramedic, came over and looked after me and phoned ambulances and I didn't really know what had happened. So I got taken into a hospital, which was all quite dramatic because I had to get transferred to Leeds.

Steve had to come down with my husband from Newcastle to be with Freya and I had to go off in the ambulance to Leeds by myself and wave them goodbye at A &E not knowing if I was going to see them again and they didn't know if they were going to see me again. It was absolutely brutal. But anyway, happy days. I got fixed so it's all good.

Hear Me Roar (07:28)

Hey man, how's it going?

Why Leeds?

Kay (07:36)

they were the specialist ones, so York, they were so lovely with me and they kept apologising that they couldn't fix me but they diagnosed that it was this.

It's called a subarachnoid aneurysm or subarachnoid haemorrhage. I didn't even know what it was to be honest, but the poor doctor came and sat on the bed and he said, I'm so sorry, this is like the very worst news. And I thought, well, I don't know what one is. I didn't say that to him because I was just a bit befuddled by the whole thing. So here we are.

Hear Me Roar (08:03)

So was there any sort of like, had you been ill in the run up to it? Had you been having headaches? Was there any sort of warning signs that this was coming or was it a complete shot out of the dark?

Kay (08:14)

The day before I'd done a circuit class and I'd felt a little bit strange and I had a little bit of funny sensation behind my eye which is where the aneurysm burst and I didn't think anything of it but then I read since that if you can have a small little aneurysm and you need to get that fixed because if you don't fix it it's like a blister and it will get bigger and then the impact will be far greater.

Hear Me Roar (08:41)

Yeah. And I think, so how can I just ask, how old was your daughter at the time?

Kay (08:47)

It was 13th,

she was at her 13th birthday.

Hear Me Roar (08:49)

That must have been so scary for her too.

Kay (08:52)

I know she was really really brave. When we were in the ambulance going to York I kept feeling like really ill and I couldn't really talk very easily because your brain gets flooded with blood. So I wasn't out of it at that point.

But I could see that she was like in tears, but she wasn't hysterical. I think if it had been me, I would have been hysterical. But she's really, she's a very strong girl. plays football and all the rest of it. And I obviously give her so much credit for just keeping calm in that situation, which must have been so terrifying.

Hear Me Roar (09:24)

Yeah, it's amazing, really cool. Yeah, I guess it helped and it was extremely lucky to have a retired paramedic walking past because I assume that person would have just taken control, calmed your daughter and just did what was needed to be done. So I mean, that must have been a big help.

Kay (09:42)

Absolutely, because I think it's important to keep really still and my instinct would have been to sit up or try and walk again or trying to work what was what but the important thing in that situation with an aneurysm that's burst is to keep really really still. So yeah she did a great job. I did try and find her afterwards to say thank you but I wasn't able to you know through the local paper.

Hear Me Roar (09:56)

right.

What was her name? Did you get her name?

Kay (10:04)

I think she might have been called Janet, but I can't quite remember. And it was a few years ago now. So if she's listening, I really want to say thank you. 2010.

Hear Me Roar (10:08)

Wow, that would have been so nice.

That would be lovely wouldn't it? know if anybody knows a Janet in York. was retired paramedic. And who helped a lady out. What year was that? When was that? 12?

Yeah, okay so 15 years ago. So what was the recovery process like? Were you a long time in hospital? Did it affect you for a long time after?

Kay (10:40)

I was in hospital for three weeks. I got transferred to Newcastle General that was like the RVI now and ⁓ I got an operation called a stent that people get for heart aneurysms and it was just a bit further up to go in behind my eye and that sorted me out and I got checked up and from then on I've been absolutely fine.

Hear Me Roar (10:49)

on.

Is it a worry that it might happen again or?

Kay (11:05)

No, not really. It was a bit at first because I love running and

when I was out running, probably three or four months or maybe bit longer, five or six months afterwards, I didn't know when I stopped if I was just going to conk out basically. So that took a bit of courage and I'd been told I could go and live my life and I thought well I've been told that and I kept having this thing in my head thinking I don't want to live my life like a mouse and like for a hundred years I'd rather like live a day like a lion that you know I wanted to be brave and do what I wanted to do rather than like

Hear Me Roar (11:19)

Mm.

Yeah.

Kay (11:37)

sit in the house with a blanket over my legs feeling like an invalid because I think that well you're both prime examples life is for living and you need to do the things that make you happy.

Hear Me Roar (11:42)

Yeah.

Yeah,

absolutely. And is that is that thinking? Is that what led you into having a go at stand up?

Kay (11:55)

you

Yes, obviously it was so frightening because I don't know whether you know, but when I got home I didn't really know what subarachnoid haemorrhage was and when I googled it, it said that only 10 % people survive and are back to how they were beforehand and I thought I need to

Hear Me Roar (12:14)

Wow.

Kay (12:16)

That's what I thought. know, they say never Google things and I Googled it and I thought, ⁓ my word. And what was particularly chilling was that they said 70 % of people die in the ambulance.

Hear Me Roar (12:20)

Yeah.

my god!

Kay (12:27)

And

when I was actually in the ambulance, I don't know how to say this without sounding ridiculous, but not to be melodramatic, I had a huge sense that I could possibly die in the ambulance because I felt something really catastrophic was going on in my head, which actually it was.

And I thought, I can't die in front of my daughter. I have to do everything that I possibly can to keep alive. Now, some people do die and I'm sure they fought to stay alive, but I was just lucky that I ended up not doing that because that would have been devastating. So I Googled it, I'm the lucky 10 % and I thought I needed to really grab hold of everything I want to do and I'd always wanted to do stand up and I'd had a little foray into it before I was poorly

with a women's comedy group in Newcastle and I was absolutely terrible. ha

Hear Me Roar (13:18)

Ha!

Kay (13:20)

It was a comedy writing group and they were so lovely and I said I've always wanted to do stand-up. We'd met for two or three months at this point and they said well bring something along next week. ⁓ my word. it was so excruciating and they were so lovely and it was like talking to Madame Tussauds. They were willing me to be funny and I just wasn't. Oh my word. Yeah that was horrific and I can remember going to my car afterwards and thinking I am never doing that again.

Well I think the thing is because I'd had that experience I thought I want to learn how to do it properly because what I did for them I thought I don't know what I'm doing really so I did a course at the Edinburgh festival and also so I had two ambitions I wanted to learn how to do stand-up

Hear Me Roar (13:47)

Clearly that changed!

Yes.

Kay (14:07)

because I thought I wanted to have a bit of fun in my life after having something so serious and I wanted to bring a bit of lightness and humour to the house because we're not like a deathly serious family and we didn't go around acting like you know woe is us but I just really really wanted to have fun and give my friends a laugh and have loads of kind of interesting news and to come back and I knew stand up would bring that into like all my friendship circle and my family life and the other thing I wanted to do was to get patio doors

because we keep climbing out of our window to get into the back garden because otherwise you've got to go right the way around the houses so I got both, result!

Hear Me Roar (14:46)

patio doors and stand up. Interesting combo.

Kay (14:48)

Absolutely, yes they

were both absolutely worth nearly dying for I can promise you that.

Hear Me Roar (14:54)

Well, I

tell you what you should have done. You should have put floodlights out in the garden. Your patio doors could have been your stage curtains. Stand there and do your act. But it must have been nerve wracking to go and do it. So tell us how you went about getting into stand up, because it's not just like you walk into a theatre and go, hello, I'm here and I'm going to do some stand up. How did you get into it?

Kay (15:01)

Excited? That's good idea!

So I looked at the different courses and the one that had the best...

reviews was to do with the Edinburgh Fringe and it was a weekend which fitted in well with the kids and family life. So I went up on and it started on the Saturday morning and finished on the Sunday night and you've got all kinds of advice about how to create a script and it's all about really burying into what makes you angry and then that's a good start for being funny. If something really triggers your anger then the chances are you're going to be able to have some good material and then on the Sunday

Sunday we had to perform in the upstairs of a pub, the people who had been on the course and that was terrifying. I was staying with a friend in Edinburgh and I was practicing on her and I just thought, oh I feel absolutely sick. Why did I want to do this?

I thought, this is ridiculous. And but I thought, I've practiced it. I've written it. And I went to the pub and ⁓ I just got such cold feet because we were on after another professional comedian who had a little show going on. And the people in his audience were all like the hairy bikers and like the leather jackets, big beards. And I was going to talk about Mary Berry and baking and yoga.

And no, this is not going to sit well. Because even though I was inexperienced ⁓ you know, you didn't have to be a genius to think, this is not their cup of tea.

And also the other comedians I've come across and seen in Newcastle and they were hilarious. So I saw the man who had organised the course and said, look, I'm sorry. This was a great idea, but I'm not going to do it. And I just expected him to say, yeah, fair enough. He had his money for the course. Off you go.

But he didn't, he was saying, no, you've got to do it. And then the people who were in the front row at this point, because all the Herry Bikers crew had left at this point with the other comedians, which I hadn't realized. So that was a relief. And there was a new audience coming in and this, can still remember, I owe them a debt of gratitude as well if they're listening.

These three or four young blokes stood up and said, you've got to do it. We're on tonight. We're learning how to be a comic. We just do little bits and bobs here and there. We'll support you. You'll be fine. You have to do it. And to be truthful, I would have just legged it if they hadn't all been encouraging. That would have been the end of my stand-up.

Hear Me Roar (17:39)

⁓ Brilliant

how did you go down?

Kay (17:43)

I was alright, I wasn't absolutely brilliant, I didn't, because preparing the set, learning the set, and all of the kind of delivery mechanisms of like when your pauses are and when you've got to pull a funny face, that was quite a lot to learn, so I delivered it as best I could. And it wasn't hilarious, there was a couple of things that people found funny, so I would say it was probably a five and a half, five out of 10, six maybe.

Hear Me Roar (18:06)

But was better than your first one that you did when you were on the quad.

Kay (18:09)

⁓ definitely and

what was really nice was the man who was the emcee like the compere for it all said that one of my jokes was the best one of the night and then he said a nice compliment well it's a backhanded compliment because he said ⁓ she's just like Sarah Millican's mother.

Hear Me Roar (18:25)

Well, after that you then went on and spent two years

Kay (18:26)

At the time I think it was about 10 years between us that I was thinking, really?

Hear Me Roar (18:31)

But how did you even like, given that you felt so wobbly with the first one, how did you even persuade yourself to keep going? Yeah, just push yourself through.

Kay (18:42)

Well, the first one I

ever did was down in Hartlepool and it was an absolute baptism of fire. I don't know whether you've heard this story, but basically at the time there were quite a few little cafes and bars who would open at night to do different things. So this was a ⁓ little bar in Hartlepool that was a cafe by day and it was absolutely packed.

Hear Me Roar (18:46)

Yeah.

Kay (19:04)

and in the cafe bar there was a slight raised bit and the owner who was a really big bloke and a big personality was sitting on this raised bit so it looked like he was on a throne so that was a bit intimidating but I had a new set that was much better. I knew myself, I'd followed all the rules from the course but this one was much funnier and tighter and I was able to put more into it so I was quite confident that this would have gone down better

and also I'd followed a couple of people who weren't very good which is always a help, no offence.

I think I've been buying her a jean. They were lovely, but actually just in case it's helpful for anybody who wants to do stand-up, what they'd done was lots of one-liners and they are a nightmare to do for five minutes when you've got to remember like a joke, a joke, a  joke, a joke, it's really hard compared to telling a story. So they'd gone and I thought, oh, this is not so too bad. And so I set off and I'd had probably about 20 seconds.

and everybody was fine and then this man who owned the club said, where are you from?

Now, I don't know whether you know this or your listeners do, but there's rivalry between Newcastle and Sunderland, especially to do with football teams. But Hartlepool I never figured. and I've got friends from Hartlepool, I go down quite regularly. So I thought, hmm, this is a funny question. And at the same time, I'm trying to remember the script. So I said, up the road, because I thought, don't quite know where this is going. So then he said, where exactly up the road. So I said, Sunderland, and the whole place booed.

Hear Me Roar (20:08)

Yes.

Kay (20:31)

and I'm saying like a football chant boo absolutely masses absolutely masses. but I'd done a bit of acting before and I had this joke about my daughter asking for cock porn instead of popcorn at the cinema and I was at that point and so I just shouted at the top of my voice my daughter asked for cock porn really and I said it really loudly and I completely shut them off because

Hear Me Roar (20:34)

No.

Kay (20:55)

honest in my head I thought, I've nearly died, I've learnt this, I've done the are gonna listen to me

Hear Me Roar (21:03)

Yeah, ha ha

bloody doing it.

Kay (21:06)

Well, yeah, I had to steely resolve because I thought this would be so humiliating if I just like shrink into a corner and accept their booing and like slope off and I just thought to be quite honest, I'm not having it.

Hear Me Roar (21:21)

Love it.

Kay (21:22)

And I

turned it round because my sister was there with her partner who actually comes from Harlepool and at the end I got a huge round of applause everybody laughed at all the rest of the stuff and he said ⁓ you really swung that round and he's a really like hard judge so I accept that as a win.

Hear Me Roar (21:39)

So did you spend two years then just like knocking on doors of little clubs and venues and saying can I come and do five minutes?

Kay (21:46)

No, I was really fortunate at the time. There's a pub called the Dog and Parrot which is beside the Centre for Life.

Hear Me Roar (21:53)

Yes.

Kay (21:53)

And at that time,

they had a comedy night every Tuesday and lots of people had started there. People like Chris Ramsay had done their first gig there. Sarah Millican had worked there. In fact, one of the comedians who used to run it, who had a day job, I remember him saying that Chris Ramsay's first ever gig, which was at the Dog and Parrot as far as I'm aware, was one of the best first gigs he'd ever seen. So he could tell that Chris Ramsay's career was going to fly.

Hear Me Roar (22:03)

wow.

you

Kay (22:22)

Every Tuesday,

when I could, which was most weeks, I would go there and you would hear comedians doing bits and bobs and it was open to the general public. And then on a Monday, there was another night, I think once a fortnight, at another pub that used to do comedy as well. and all of the comedians used to have like a closed night there, which I could go to and again would practice things and then at the Dog and Parrot on a Tuesday, you would then do your set. And then the

other thing that was helpful was once a month, there was a great night called Laughing Lasses at the Telegraph Pole behind the Central Station.

and I got to perform there and that was so much fun because it wasn't always women who were in the audience but it was so supportive and the other comedians who were mainly young lads were really supportive they were absolutely lovely to myself and I met another woman who was a similar age to me and equally mad and wanting to do this and she inspired a character in my book which I know we're going to talk about but we went along to most things together and that was lovely but this laughing

Hear Me Roar (23:04)

Yeah.

Kay (23:24)

lasses was particularly good. It was a great place to try out material, and different material, because you could do lots of things about being a woman that you wouldn't necessarily want to put onto the dog and parrot.

Hear Me Roar (23:33)

Yeah.

You must have learnt

a lot as well by going along and watching other comedians who were trying things out.

Kay (23:41)

Yes and I mean amongst those there was a lot of like other nights that say restaurants maybe put on a comedy night and the thing that I learnt more than anything is just how hard it is to be funny and also there's I don't mean to sound cruel to people but there's a lot of people who think they're hilarious and try and do stand-up and they're doing it as a stream of consciousness because they're under the impression that when a comic on tv goes and sounds like they're speaking off the top of their head that it's not all prepared and tested

Hear Me Roar (23:52)

you

Kay (24:10)

and tested and tested and tested to see what works so they stand up and think I'm really funny when I'm at the pub with my friends so I can just riff and it'll be fine. My husband still says he doesn't forgive me for some of the nights I've taken him to where he's had to listen to some people who've been so unfunny.

Hear Me Roar (24:19)

No.

I can't imagine

just standing up on a stage and thinking I've no idea what I'm gonna say I'm just gonna open my mouth and be funny without having anything planned. mean you were so helpful when we were writing our sketch for our show you were absolutely fantastic in giving us some top tips and looking at our script but we rehearsed that to the nth degree we wrote it

memorised it rehearsed rehearsed rehearsed and then on the day you know made it look as if we were just having a chat and we had to do 20 minutes which was a bit of a challenge but it worked out okay and we were so grateful to you for helping with that yes

Kay (25:04)

you

was a pleasure

and it was really funny. Your routine was absolutely brilliant. ⁓ Really, really good. I'm not surprised it went down well. It was super, absolutely super. You were like a married couple.

Hear Me Roar (25:18)

Thank you.

We are like a married couple. We're

sitting on the sofa now like a married couple. Somebody asked us the other day if we always sit on the same side. Yeah. And we realised that we do. That's Marie's side of the bed.

Kay (25:40)

Ha

Hear Me Roar (25:41)

Is it Morecambe and Wise who do the sketch when In the bed, they're in bed. Yeah, we're not going that far, we're not getting in bed. Anyway, so yeah, so you performed for two years, but then you've since stopped. Why did you stop doing the stand up?

Kay (25:50)

Yeah

I found that it was becoming really hard to just... I wouldn't say have normal conversations, but what I found was in my private life I was constantly thinking, oh that could be funny, that could be funny and I thought this is getting annoying.

Hear Me Roar (26:12)

Yeah.

Kay (26:14)

I just wanted to be able to enjoy things that were funny without thinking I need to write that down, I need to write that down. It just got a bit wearisome and also I felt as if I'd done it as much as I could and I just wanted to go and do different things but I didn't want to waste because I'd written so many sets like loads and loads and loads so I thought well I'll create a character and write a book using some of these sets.

Hear Me Roar (26:38)

Yeah, which you did, and which I've read. Your book's called The Stand Up Mam. And it's not entirely autobiographical, I know that. But tell us what your book's about.

Kay (26:49)

Well, it was inspired by somebody who wants to change their life, who thinks she's got the perfect existence. And she gets entered into a stand-up competition and her life becomes transformed because stand-up gives her a stage and she starts to think about her own dreams and ambitions. And it's the story of what happens as a result of that. And I was talking about it to one of my friends, actually. And one of the things that powered me through that book

and I thought I really really really want women to read this and realise that they need to take time for themselves. I felt very squished like a lot of women do in terms of my kids and my mum who I love very much but everybody needed a piece of me and I was like number five or six and I wanted this book to really inspire people to take time for themselves.

Hear Me Roar (27:34)

Yeah.

Kay (27:39)

In fact, was just saying to this friend I was talking about it to I would like to stuff it in the handbag of every woman.

Hear Me Roar (27:44)

Well it was, was very good. It was a really good story in that she had come from a, through some difficult times, obviously I won't elaborate, but through this very unusual medium of stand-up comedy, she found a whole different side to herself.

Kay (28:03)

Yes.

Hear Me Roar (28:04)

and

yeah and and found her confidence which was ⁓ it was really good i loved it

Kay (28:10)

thank you.

Hear Me Roar (28:10)

⁓

it wasn't just me who loved it because it's up for a Comedy Women in Print Prize

So for the benefit of anyone who hasn't heard of the Comedy Women in Print prize.

It's a prize for comedy women writers and it was started by the comedian Helen Lederer because there were, there was, there is an existing prize for comedy writing but women weren't winning it. So she was just like, enough of this and she

set up her own award. And your book has been shortlisted

how did that come about? Did you just decide to enter your book so to speak? Did you send it off to them?

Kay (28:58)

Yes, it was quite a while ago now. We sent it off and then you waited like normal with these things probably two or three months. And then you keep your fingers crossed. But you don't, I think there's so many people enter things. I wasn't holding out a lot of hope really. And then long listed and then short listed. So really that's, that's a fan. It feels like a fantastic success. Just that,

but to get to go to London and celebrate together with all these other lovely great women writers it'll be fantastic.

Hear Me Roar (29:27)

I know,

know, it's amazing. Just being shortlisted is fantastic.

⁓ I mean, it just, it must be fantastic because I know that like that writing world is something that you've been immersed in beyond just writing your book. You also have helped out at Bay Tales, which is the Whitley Bay Book Festival. And you go to a lot of author events and things like that. So you're really involved.

Kay (29:49)

Mm-hmm. ⁓

Hear Me Roar (29:57)

in that community aren't you?

Kay (30:00)

Yeah, I really

love it. I've made some really great friends and in particular women writers, I just love hearing their stories and encouraging women to sort of find their voices. It's absolutely super to me. And there's a lot of really great women writers up here in the Northeast as well. yeah, it's great community.

Hear Me Roar (30:19)

What's next then? Have you got more books in the works?

Kay (30:24)

Yes, I've finished my second novel, which I've been working on for a year, which is called Halloween Lanterns, and it's all based around an allotment and three women. One of them is a wellness coach who is encouraging two other women who are quite troubled to sort of improve their mental health through being on the allotment. And it's all that world of like people doing leek shows and all of the kind of the older men and the younger women.

a clash of cultures and a good dose of humour. And also these three women have dark secrets so as they work together on the allotment it's how they tackle these dark secrets coming out. At the same time as growing their pumpkins. ⁓

Hear Me Roar (31:06)

you self-published your first one, didn't you? Why did you choose to go down that route?

Kay (31:10)

Yes.

Well, I felt massively like an imposter, but I'd had a couple of agents interested over the years and some of them we'd been in conversations for six months or more and then for different reasons it hadn't worked out. So I had this book ready to go and I thought, I wonder if I should self-publish, but I hadn't really met anybody who'd done it apart. I hadn't met LJ Ross, but I knew that she was doing really well with her books. And I thought, well, maybe I'll give it a go, but I felt very overwhelmed. And ⁓

It was really hard and brutal in terms of the checking of it all that you miss when you self-publish. In terms of fact checking, one of the facts I talk about is that I had an Edinburgh Festival course in my book and I had somebody going from Cornwall and I was saying that the drive was eight hours and just as about to go to print I thought, can't possibly be eight hours, it's got to be about 18. So there was things like that that an agent, an editor, somebody, everybody

would be all over that, whereas I was absolutely the marketer, the editor, the proofreader and also it's called the stand-up mam and I was quite far down the line with it getting typed, setting the cover and I suddenly thought stand-up should be hyphenated. I talk about it late in the day and obviously it's in the books so many times and so was things like that and that was a bad day. That was a really bad day when I thought I think I have to hyphenate this.

Hear Me Roar (32:13)

Yes.

You

Oh no. I've seen your book and your cover is very professional looking so did you have someone to do that for you?

Kay (32:46)

yeah, it's just really hard going. But I did a tender process with a website called Reedsy and I found a cover designer who I think has done an absolutely amazing job. She's won designer of the year and worked on Hollyoaks and all sorts. But it was was really hard because I didn't know about ISBN numbers on the back. I thought Amazon put one on. So that was a really steep learning curve. And also, again, I felt as if I wanted to be brave.

Hear Me Roar (32:58)

Mmm.

Kay (33:15)

because

I had the freedom to be because I was given options of having the main character with wooden spoons and pans and pots on the front and a bit like cartoonish and then she did a sketch of a microphone and a pair of lips and I thought actually the character's quite spiky and I thought that probably summed it up more than a looking like quite homespun mam who then breaks free and does stand up.

thank you.

Hear Me Roar (33:48)

We've got more books coming up from you, which is brilliant. And we've got, we're going to see no doubt on Instagram pictures of you swanning around in a swanky dress. Yes, looking gorgeous. Yeah. At this awards. And all that remains is what cocktail do you need to go with that swanky dress?

Kay (34:02)

Thank

Well I think it should be called a funny mummy.

Hear Me Roar (34:16)

Good, that's a good title.

Kay (34:18)

and it contains howler head. You might not have come across howler head before. ⁓ So it's a Kentucky spirit with banana flavoring because when you're doing stand-up comedy you need to have like howlers in it you need to have all of that. Shall I'll show you the bottle? I've got the bottle here.

Hear Me Roar (34:23)

Nope.

⁓ yeah.

Yeah, go on, go for it.

I feel like we're going to advertise howler head here. all right, that's so cool.

Kay (34:44)

I really like

different whiskeys and I was in the fire station in Sunderland and said, have you got any unusual whiskeys? And he gave me a drink and probably you can see, I like it. There's only about an inch left. One or two years old to be fair. So we're gonna have the Howler Head and we're gonna have Baileys because you do need to be silky smooth and a little bit sweet as part of that. And it needs to be on ice because a standard cocktail has to have that kind of icy cool undercurrent.

Hear Me Roar (35:10)

Yeah you have to keep you cool don't you?

So Howler Head is a banana flavoured Kentucky Whiskey?

Kay (35:17)

Yes to me

it tastes a bit like a bourbon, like a banana flavoured bourbon which may make you sound as if it's a bit icky but it is absolutely delicious, totally recommend it.

Hear Me Roar (35:27)

Yeah, I wouldn't mind trying that. We might have to come over to yours to make this cocktail because I doubt they've got howler heads in Asda. mind you, we'd have to stay overnight because once we'd had one or two of those, we wouldn't be driving anywhere, would we? Get the spare room ready, Kay. We're on our way. ha ha

Kay (35:32)

Thank

I think we could all look like the monkey to be fair.

Hear Me Roar (35:52)

Hey! Well, thank you so much. Hearing about you sort of having this total life change, being brave enough to go and do something you'd fancied, but wow, what a thing to go and do. I mean, the bravery is outstanding. Yeah, you earn a reward for bravery. bravery. Wow. Yeah. Good for you. But yeah. ⁓ yeah. yes.

Kay (36:12)

And don't forget the patio doors. Get your

Hear Me Roar (36:19)

When we come round from the cocktail we want to see lights round the patio doors.

Kay (36:19)

level. Yes.

Hear Me Roar (36:25)

And so yeah fantastic and then to unleash all that creativity on the world and get shortlisted for a prize and that's this is one of the big prizes the big book prizes as well it's just amazing absolutely amazing.

So whatever happens on the day, because I know we're both going, we're both up for it, but I'll be rooting for you. I'll be cheering you on. I'll be cheering you both on.

Right on that note, I think we should say bye. Thanks ever so much Kay, that was brilliant. you, it's been lovely. Take care, bye.

Kay (36:52)

Thanks.

Bye, thank you. Thank you. Bye.