Break Generational Trauma by Always Seeing Love

Hola reinas! Welcome back to Latina Sin Límites, the podcast created and hosted by me, Vanessa Rae Alonso, your Latina mentor, to guide you hacia tus sueños y más allá. En este episodio, we dive deep into one of the most transformative and often painful journeys many of us face: breaking generational trauma.

I open up about my own historia, sharing the patterns I had to uncover, los boundaries I had to set, and the love I had to rediscover, not just for my familia, but for myself. Because generational trauma doesn’t always scream, it whispers in our silence, in our self-doubt, and in the culpa we feel when we choose to dream bigger than anyone before us. But reina, healing is possible. In this third episode of the podcast, I’ll walk you through four transformational steps that will help you plant the seeds to build and cultivate a legacy — one rooted with strong roses filled with healing, Latina resiliency, empowerment and intention. 

This is a love letter to every Latina carrying the weight of unspoken wounds, ready to rewrite her historia. Because we are resilient, we are rosas que florecen from concrete. If you’ve ever felt stuck, guilty for dreaming, or unsure how to begin healing, this one's for you. 

CONTENT WARNING

This episode discusses sensitive topics, including sexual abuse. If you prefer to skip this section, jump to minute 13:10 to begin with the four steps for breaking generational trauma.

Listen to Learn:

• The four steps to heal generational trauma while honoring your roots.
• Why choosing love is a radical act of healing.
• How to create new tradiciones rooted in abundancia and emotional connection.

We Also Discuss:

• Why staying “calladita” no longer serves your growth.
• How loving boundaries can actually strengthen relationships not diminish them.
• What neuroscience says about inherited trauma.
• Ways to lead with compassion even if it wasn’t shown en tu familia.

Additional resources

• RAINN - National Sexual Assault Hotline (800-656-4673)  
• Study on Inherited Fear: How Trauma Passes Through Generations
• Our Moments card game

Interact with Latina Sin Límites

Learn more at vanessaraealonso.com, watch the episodes on YouTube, follow the podcast on Instagram at @latinasinlimitespod, and subscribe to our newsletter.

Latina Sin Límites is hosted by me, Vanessa Rae Alonso. This show is produced, edited, managed, mixed, and supported with marketing and PR by Ellas Media.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Amiga. Are you ready to break free from generational trauma and step into a life sin límites? In this episode, I'll show you how to heal with love, set boundaries and create a future rooted in abundance. Your transformation starts ahora mismo, so let's bloom together! Generational trauma is a weight many of us carry, often without realizing it. It can be small and silent.

[00:00:24] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Keeping us from making the jefa moves our dreams deserve or large and loud when we react and behave out of alignment with our values. For Latinas who dream of living a life sin límites, this invisible burden can feel especially heavy or hold us back without our knowledge. You're at an age where the world expects you to define your futuro, to build your career, relationships and identity.

[00:00:47] Vanessa Rae Alonso

But generational trauma can leave you feeling stuck, like there's an unspoken rule holding you back. Maybe it's the way you hesitate to speak up and stay calladita, fearing you'll be labeled “disrespectful” for expressing your needs. Or the guilt you feel when prioritizing your goals or family obligations. Maybe you've noticed certain patterns in your familia: the silence around difficult topics, the pressure to put everyone else's needs above your own, or the guilt that creeps in when you start to dream bigger than anyone before you.

[00:01:18] Vanessa Rae Alonso

For many Latinas, these feelings come from cultural expectations that have been passed down, whispering that survival means self-sacrifice, pain, and silencio. It's frustrating to want more while feeling tethered to the past. You might even ask yourself: “How can I live a life sin límites when the límites seem to be written into my family's own history?” And wondering, “Why is it so hard for me to dream big?”

[00:01:43] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Or “Why do I feel guilty for wanting something different?”. These preguntas can feel overwhelming, especially when you're not sure how to answer them. It's like carrying an old suitcase that you didn't pack filled with trapos sucios but you're expected to lug them around anyway. There's also the fear of change. What will your familia think if you start setting boundaries, or choosing a path and a futuro that looks different from theirs?

[00:02:06] Vanessa Rae Alonso

You might hear comments like, “Eso no es para nosotras” or “ ¿Y por qué quieres cambiar las cosas?” that makes you second-guess yourself. It's not just about healing; it's about navigating the expectations of a comunidad that there is always value togetherness, even at the cost of individual sueños and peace. But here's the truth: while generational trauma can feel like a life sentence, it's not.

[00:02:30] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Healing is possible. You have the power to break free and create a new legacy, one rooted with strong rows is filled with Latina resiliency, empowerment, and intention. It starts with acknowledging these challenges and giving yourself grace. No estás sola in this journey, and by choosing to confront the past, you're honoring the strength of those who came before you while creating a life and future sin límites for yourself.

[00:02:55] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Remember, amiga, you're not just breaking cycles. You're planting the seeds to build and cultivate a legacy.

[00:03:04] Vanessa Rae Alonso

¡Hola, bienvenida! I'm your host and Latina mentor, Vanessa Rae Alonso. You're listening to Latina Sin Límites, my podcast para tus sueños, tu business, y todo lo que quieras conseguir en la vida, relaciones, dinero y más! I’m a speaker, business hada madrina, immigration attorney, and CEO of Alonso & Alonso Attorneys at Law, where I make dreams come true and keep families together.

[00:03:28] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Today, I'll be discussing a topic that hits close to home for many of us: breaking generational trauma by always choosing love. As Latinas, our family's stories are woven into who we are, pero a veces, these stories come with wounds that we didn't ask for, and it's our job to heal them and help you bloom sin límites. Generational trauma is a cycle that so many of us in the Latino community carry.

[00:03:53] Vanessa Rae Alonso

It's heavy, it's deep, but here's a truth: this does not define you, and you have the power to break it. When you choose to always see love, you create healing not just for yourself but also for the generations that follow. When I decided to live a life sin límites, a pivotal lesson that I gained on my journey of breaking generational trauma was to always see the love.

[00:04:17] Vanessa Rae Alonso

A crucial aspect of being able to live your path as a Latina sin límites is to break the binds of generational trauma. If we don't heal generational trauma, that unresolved pain can turn into our own personal trauma, repeating cycles of fear, guilt, and límites that keep us from living fully. Because you can't do the work of living a life sin límites.

[00:04:38] Vanessa Rae Alonso

If you're unable to recognize this. You have to be transparent with yourself on how this has affected you, from your childhood in your Latino household to your teenage years and now in your adult life. Because you will need to manage and grow your life while working through these generational and personal traumas to reach your dream life sin límites.

[00:04:58] Vanessa Rae Alonso

So I want to start with a trigger warning. I'll be covering some pretty heavy topics like physical and sexual abuse. You can skip this section and go straight to the actions if you like. I'll be sharing the timestamps with you in the show notes, so you know exactly where to go. And if you know someone who is going through something like this, or you are in this position, know that help is always available and that I believe in your ability to heal and overcome.

[00:05:25] Vanessa Rae Alonso

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, which is confidential and available for 24/7 support. You can chat online at online.rainn.org. That is Rainn with the double N or call for help at 8-0-0-6-5-6-4-6-7-3. As always, amiga, everything is available in the show notes. When I started my journey toward living a life sin límites, I had to pause and take a hard look at something I had never even considered before.

[00:05:57] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Generational trauma. At first, I didn't even know what generational trauma was. I only became aware of it when I started noticing patterns in my life, barriers I kept running into that didn't seem to make sense. Here I was, the CEO of a growing company, stepping into new levels of leadership, but I struggled with having hard conversation. I found it difficult to confront difficult emotions, especially with the people I loved.

[00:06:23] Vanessa Rae Alonso

It was holding me back, and I didn't even realize it. It wasn't until about seven years ago that I began to truly understand what was happening. As I stepped into different stages of my life, graduating, getting married, becoming a mother, starting a firm and leading a team. I felt the weight of responsibility grow. I had to move differently.

[00:06:44] Vanessa Rae Alonso

I had to show up differently. People were counting on me. I had to learn how to express myself in a boardroom, clearly communicate my vision, and lead a company filled with people who relied on me to feed their families. But the more I stepped into these spaces, the more I felt this invisible weight holding me back. There were moments when I doubted myself, questioning, “Who am I to be leading this company?”

[00:07:07] Vanessa Rae Alonso

“Who am I to speak up?” Inside, it felt like smoldering lava, burning, bubbling, waiting to explode, but I kept it all inside. On the outside, I smiled and played the part. But inside, I struggled to find the words to express what I was truly feeling. I stayed quiet, second guessing myself, afraid that speaking my truth might hurt someone else or trigger something in them.

[00:07:29] Vanessa Rae Alonso

I had been conditioned to stay calladita. But something didn't feel right. And I knew I wasn't the only one who struggled with this. I had a mentor, a woman in my same field, leading with confidence, expressing herself freely, handling difficult conversations with ease. She moved through the world sin límites. Watching her, I realized something: the main difference between us was that she didn't carry the same generational weight that I did.

[00:07:57] Vanessa Rae Alonso

So I started digging. Where did this come from? How did I get here? And that's when I began learning about generational trauma. These límites I was born with weren't just mine. They were deeply rooted in my family history. My mother was a teenager when she had me. The ground she stood on was already unstable, shaped by the traumas she had survived and endured.

[00:08:20] Vanessa Rae Alonso

And before I continue, I want to honor my mom. She's given me her blessing to share this story with you, because it is part of my generational trauma, and she understands the power of breaking that cycle. Gracias, mamá, for your trust and allowing me to share your story. When my mom was just seven years old, she and her younger sister were kidnaped by my grandfather and taken to California.

[00:08:44] Vanessa Rae Alonso

He suffered from an undiagnosed mental illness, and because of that, his mind was filled with paranoia, fear and control. My mom spent years living in cars at construction sites that he worked at, enduring extreme poverty, and being manipulated into fearing her own mother. For eight years, she suffered under his care. She was also sexually abused by him. By the time she met my biological father and became pregnant with me, she was looking for a way out, searching for something different.

[00:09:17] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Recently, I've reflected on this period of my mom's life and tried to fully grasp what she went through. How she even managed to bring me into this world despite everything she endured. She didn't have the desire to change for herself at first. But when I became a reality, something in her shifted. She told me that when she first held me, her first thought was, “if my mother loves me even half as much as I love this child, I need to find her.”

[00:09:46] Vanessa Rae Alonso

At 15 years old, with a newborn in her arms, she bought a ticket and showed up on my grandmother's doorstep. I can only imagine what that moment felt like for my grandmother, a mother who had spent years searching for her stolen daughter, not knowing if she was safe, not knowing if she would ever see her again. My grandmother, a humble woman living in a small trailer in El Paso, Texas, opened the door to find her long-lost daughter holding a baby.

[00:10:14] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Me. And just like that, our family's story changed forever. Looking back, I now understand that my mother's trauma was the stage I was born onto. Her wounds, her survival, her struggles. They were embedded in my foundation. And I know many of you can relate. Generational trauma isn't just about what we've lived through, it's about what we've inherited.

[00:10:40] Vanessa Rae Alonso

A study on mice proves this concept. Scientists conditioned a group of mice to fear the scent of cherry blossoms by exposing them to it alongside mild electric shocks. Over time, the mice became terrified of the scent. But here's the incredible part: when these mice had offspring, their babies who had never been shocked, showed an extreme fear response to the scent of cherry blossoms.

[00:11:07] Vanessa Rae Alonso

And it didn't stop there. Even their grandchildren reacted with fear to the scent, despite never experiencing the trauma firsthand. This study illustrates how trauma is passed down biologically. If this happens in mice, imagine what happens to us, to our ancestors, to the generations before us who endured colonization, war, poverty, displacement, abuse, and more. If we don't acknowledge and heal these wounds, they will continue to control us.

[00:11:38] Vanessa Rae Alonso

They will manifest as anxiety, self-doubt, fear, and límites we don't understand. I never truly understood generational trauma until I felt the gap between the woman I wanted to be and my ability to act in alignment with her. That gap, the fear, the unspoken emotions, the hesitation was my inherited trauma keeping me small. If we don't address these wounds, they will show up in our health, our relationships, our careers, and our self-worth.

[00:12:10] Vanessa Rae Alonso

I wanted to be a bold leader, a fearless CEO, but I found myself holding back, afraid to speak up. It took working with a Latina mindset coach and a communicator coach to realize that underneath my hesitation was unworthiness and imposter syndrome. Things I had inherited, not chosen. For most of my life, my unhealed self accomplished great things as a survivor.

[00:12:36] Vanessa Rae Alonso

I thrived in school, went to law school, passed the bar, and built a successful career. But at some point, survival was no longer enough. I needed more. I wanted to thrive sin límites, and I knew I had to break these cycles to do it. Healing generational trauma isn't easy, but it's one of the most powerful things you can do.

[00:12:57] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Not just for yourself, but for your family, your children, and the generations after you. So if you're ready to break free, to rewrite your story, and to finally move without limits. Let's dive into the four actions you can take to heal generational trauma and always see the love in your story.

[00:13:21] Vanessa Rae Alonso

The first step to breaking generational trauma is to acknowledge and honor your family's story. Let's start with this: Every single one of us comes from families with stories of struggle and resilience. As Latinas, these stories often include immigration, sacrifice, and survival. It's easy to focus on the pain, the hardships, and the trauma passed down. But I want you to pause and ask yourself: Where is the love in the story?

[00:13:46] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Think about it, our families endured so much because of love. Love for us. Love for a better future. Love for something beyond what they had. And that doesn't mean we have to carry their pain as our own. But when we acknowledge their story, we honor their journey while also giving ourselves permission to write a new one. In Latina Sin Límites, we've talked a lot about our races, our roots, and how they shape us.

[00:14:13] Vanessa Rae Alonso

The truth is, our family's experiences, for better or worse, are the soil that has allowed us to bloom into the resilient, powerful women that we are today. But just like a garden, we have to tend to our roots, prune or heal what's been damaged, and create space for new growth. And that starts with acknowledging where we come from.

[00:14:34] Vanessa Rae Alonso

So take some time to reflect, to journal. I want you to write down your family's history, lo bueno, la malo, and everything in between. Find those moments of love and Latina resiliency that inspire you. Para mí, my mother and grandmother's love has been a guiding force in my life. My mom, especially, is the embodiment of Latina resiliency.

[00:14:57] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Growing up, I didn't know anything else. I didn't know what it meant to give up, because she never did. She never allowed herself. No matter what life threw at her, she just kept moving forward. I always picture her journey like stepping stones across the river, going from one challenge to the next, never stopping, never letting the weight of the past drown her and carrying a baby on her back the whole time.

[00:15:20] Vanessa Rae Alonso

And the most incredible thing? She didn't just carry us through it all, she carried others too. Even when she had every reason to be bitter, to focus on just her own survival, she was always lifting others up with her. And then there's something else about my mom that blows me away. Her ability to lay the groundwork for me to flourish.

[00:15:40] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Recently, while renewing my passport, I came across my birth certificate. And on it, I saw something that stopped me in my tracks, an amendment, a legal change made when I was just three years old. At 18 years old, my mom went to court to terminate my bio father's rights and change my last name to hers. Let me put this into perspective.

[00:16:01] Vanessa Rae Alonso

She was a teenage mother. No legal background. No education. No guidance. No parents with experience or education of their own. Yet she stood before a judge and said, “This is my daughter. I will raise her. I will provide for her. He will have no say in her life.” Most adults struggled to navigate the legal system. They put off making tough decisions, avoid difficult conversations, let things slide because it's easier.

[00:16:28] Vanessa Rae Alonso

But my mom, at 18, she made a bold, intentional move that changed the trajectory of my life forever. And looking at that document as a lawyer today, I'm even more in awe. Because I know how hard that is. I see my clients struggle with it all the time. And yet, my teenage mother, with no resources, no support, no roadmap, did what she had to do to protect me and create a stable foundation for me to thrive.

[00:16:54] Vanessa Rae Alonso

And when I think about it, that's just who she is. Even before that, before I was even born, she made a choice that many in her position wouldn't have. At 14, she got pregnant. At 15, she gave birth to me. And in the circumstances she was in: poverty, abuse, no support, it would have been so easy for me to end up in someone else's care.

[00:17:14] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Maybe a relative. Maybe the foster system. But she didn't let that happen. She chose me. She chose to raise me on her own. She chose to defy every obstacle thrown her way. And in doing so, she set the tone for the woman I would become. That's the power of acknowledging and honoring our family's stories. Because when we do, we don't just see the struggle.

[00:17:35] Vanessa Rae Alonso

We see the strength, the love, the Latina resiliency. And that shifts everything. And now, as I raise my own daughters, I carry that same spirit forward. I want them to know that they come from a lineage of strong, unstoppable women. That they, too, have the power to break cycles, to heal, to rise, and to vivir sin límites. So I encourage you, amiga.

[00:17:56] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Take the time to reflect on your family's story. See it through the lens of gratitude, of love, of resilience. Because when you do, you'll realize that you are not just breaking generational trauma, you are rewriting history. And that? That is power. Step number two: shift your perspective from pain to compassion.

[00:18:25] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Let's be real, there's pain in every familia. We've all felt it. Maybe it's the harsh words, the impossible expectations, the lack of praise, or the weight of generational struggles. But when we choose to see it through the lens of love, we're making a conscious decision: compassion over judgment. Ask yourself, “What did my parents or grandparents experience that shaped their actions or beliefs?”

[00:18:50] Vanessa Rae Alonso

For example, if you grew up with harsh criticism, think about this: maybe your family thought their criticism was pushing you toward success because that's all they knew how to do, or protecting you from the disappointment of not accomplishing something they didn't see possible from their limited viewpoints. Their intentions were rooted in amor, even if their approach left scars.

[00:19:13] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Compassion is a bridge that helps us heal these wounds. And ojo, compassion is not the same as respect. I don't want you to give blind respect, especially not the kind we've been conditioned to give as Latina daughters. We've been taught to respect our elders no matter what, to stay quiet, to obey. But in your healing journey, we're replacing blind respect with understanding.

[00:19:34] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Recognizing that the people who have hurt us are also human doesn’t mean that we are excusing their behavior? It means we are acknowledging that they too, carry unhealed wounds. But what about the elders who have caused deep pain, who have crossed lines that should have never been crossed? How do you respect them? You don't. Instead, you give compassion in a way that honors your own healing.

[00:20:01] Vanessa Rae Alonso

You acknowledge their wounds without dismissing your own. You ask, “Why do they act this way? Why are they stuck in these patterns?” Because when you allow yourself to ask these questions, you expand your perspective. You realize that you have the power to break cycles and move forward. In Latino families, generational trauma runs deep. Whether it's the weight of Marianismo, machismo or simply survival-based choices made with limited knowledge. At that moment in time, our parents, our grandparents, they made the best decisions they could with what they had and what they knew at the time.

[00:20:37] Vanessa Rae Alonso

And amiga, I won't lie. Seeing your family through this lens of love and compassion isn't easy. It's a journey. I've had people in my life who I had to actively choose to see through love just to maintain a relationship. And it wasn't just about waiting for them to change, it was about me doing the work. When I started healing my calladita wound, when I found my voice and learned to have hard conversations.

[00:21:01] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Something shifted. The more I grew, the more I noticed that others started to shift, too. Self-compassion is the key. When you learn to be kind to yourself, it reflects outward. It invites the people around you to mirror that compassion. And together, you evolve. Now, let me be clear: shifting to compassion doesn't mean abandoning your boundaries. Some people simply do not deserve your energy.

[00:21:29] Vanessa Rae Alonso

But for the ones you love, the ones you want to keep in your life, they deserve the opportunity for a new perspective. That said, before you can shift your perspective, you need to heal your own wounds. If you haven't worked through your calladita wound, if you're still carrying the weight of being the “good Latina”, the “obedient daughter”, then compassion might feel impossible.

[00:21:52] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Because if you've been conditioned to stay silent, to never question, to always prioritize family over self, this shift will feel like pushing a rock uphill. It's going to challenge everything you were taught. Healing generational trauma takes time. And along the way, you'll uncover painful truths, family secrets that shake you. But if you're doing the work, if you're healing that inherited pain, you'll know how to navigate it.

[00:22:19] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Generational trauma is like a caldo de res. The meat is a trauma passed down. The corn represents your own experiences. The potato that's your inner niña, screaming out from the wounds you personally endured. The carrots are the límites you've set. And then, you mix in the diced celery, your parents' trauma. It's a mix of so many layers. And just like any good caldo, there are secret ingredients.

[00:22:46] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Things your family doesn't talk about. Things hidden beneath shame. So how do we work with this caldo? We acknowledge that every ingredient, the good, the bad, the bitter is part of the recipe. And we choose what we add in to make it nourishing. Healing, boundaries, support. For me, my relationship with my stepdad has been a constant lesson in compassion.

[00:23:08] Vanessa Rae Alonso

I love that we can constantly laugh together, that we can travel and have fun. He's a presence in my life, but I've had to sit with the pain of some of his choices. There are questions I'll never have answers to. I don't know what shaped his decisions, what unhealed wounds he carries. And I see that he's not necessarily doing the deep work to heal himself.

[00:23:29] Vanessa Rae Alonso

But I do know this, he loves me. And that relationship, with all its complexity, is worth the effort it takes to hold space for both love and pain. So, amiga, I want you to practice compassion for others, but more importantly, because it's practicing compassion for yourself. Because at the end of the day, you are the one who lives in your body, who carries your pain, and who deserves to heal.

[00:23:53] Vanessa Rae Alonso

The trauma we inherit can warp the way we see the world, the way we interact with our families, and even the way we see ourselves. And sometimes, we unconsciously punish ourselves because we can't fathom shifting from pain to compassion. It's like living in a house with dirty windows. If we never clean them, everything outside looks distorted. We judge only what we see.

[00:24:17] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Unaware that it's our own lens that needs cleaning. But when we take the time to wipe those windows to heal, to shift our perspective, we see clearly. So next time you feel triggered by a family member, pause. Replace blame with curiosity. Ask yourself, “What might they have been through that shaped them?” It's a powerful shift, one that can open the door to healing not just for them, but for you.

[00:24:48] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Step number three is to set loving boundaries to protect your peace. Listen, healing doesn't mean putting up with toxic behavior. It means prioritizing your well-being while still honoring the love you have for your familia. And I get it, boundaries can feel scary, especially in our cultura, our families, everything and boundaries are shamed. But boundaries aren't about shutting people out: they’re about creating healthier relationships.

[00:25:14] Vanessa Rae Alonso

When you set boundaries with love, you're saying, “I love you enough to create space where we can both thrive.” Para mí, one of the hardest boundaries I had to set was with my mom when it came to my marriage. My mom is on her own healing journey. She's done incredible work to grow and evolve, but healing isn't linear, and she still carries pain and trauma from her past marriage with my dad. Because of that.

[00:25:38] Vanessa Rae Alonso

She has always been extremely protective of me, so much so, that she never thought anyone would be good enough. In her eyes, every partner started as a negative. When I got married, I was advised not to vent about my husband to my mom. At first, that felt impossible. She had always been my confidante, my best friend, my go-to for advice.

[00:26:00] Vanessa Rae Alonso

But I soon realized that if I shared any struggles, she would see them as passing frustrations or normal relationship challenges. Instead, she would hold on to them, letting her own past experiences color her perspective. She wasn't seeing my marriage as my own; she was seeing echoes of her pain. It was a tough realization, but I had to accept that my mom couldn't be part of my “board of directors.”

[00:26:24] Vanessa Rae Alonso

When it came to my marriage. I had other people I could turn to: mentors, friends, even professional counselors, who could support me in a way she couldn't. Setting that boundary wasn't easy. It hurt her, and to this day, she doesn't love that I don't discuss every aspect of my marriage with her. But in the long run, it set a healthy boundary for me.

[00:26:45] Vanessa Rae Alonso

We can connect on other things. She's able to have a positive relationship with my husband, without the weight of my venting affecting how she sees him. Boundaries aren't about punishment; they're about clarity. And amiga, one of the most valuable lessons I've learned is this: not everyone is an expert in every part of your life. If you need guidance on marriage, turn to those who have navigated long, healthy relationships, not someone still carrying unresolved pain.

[00:27:12] Vanessa Rae Alonso

That's not to diminish their wisdom in other areas. My mom is my number one go-to for parenting advice and my favorite co-visionary for my business and life goals. She raised me and my sister, and we are both successful, strong women. But marriage? That's not a space where she needs to be. Not right now. We often assume our parents have all the answers, but we have to be intentional about who we let influence different parts of our lives.

[00:27:38] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Choosing the right people for the right guidance is a form of self-respect. So the next time a family member triggers you, instead of reacting with frustration, try shifting your response to something more compassionate like this: “I love you, but I need time to process this.” Boundaries when set with love. Protect not just you, but the relationship itself. And that, amiga, is an act of healing.

[00:28:10] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Finally, step four is to create new traditions rooted in love and abundance. Breaking generational trauma means replacing old, limiting patterns with new practices that empower you and your familia. These traditions don't have to be big or fancy. Maybe it's a weekly gratitude practice where you and your loved ones share what you're thankful for. Or maybe have starting conversations about dreams and aspirations, conversations that weren't part of your upbringing but are essential for building a life sin límites. Due to experiencing a difficult childhood, one rooted in pain and poverty, without any guidance to move forward.

[00:28:45] Vanessa Rae Alonso

My husband and I both share a difficult childhood, that was our shared experience. And because of that, we decided that as parents, we wanted to help focus our children on the future. And so for that reason, we have a yearly tradition of creating a vision board as a family. We each have to create one because we want to encourage and motivate each of our children to reach their own goals and fulfill their vision of their future lives.

[00:29:12] Vanessa Rae Alonso

So as a family, we choose three things we want to do together. For example, in 2024 we committed to doing three outdoor hikes, which we only did one, but hey, that's better than none. We committed to speaking Spanish in the home together, improving our Spanish and holding each other accountable. The third was to talk about our feelings as soon as we experience them and create a safe space to do so.

[00:29:35] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Now, my children are very compassionate because of it and are very aware of feelings and body language. They have grown comfortable in expressing their emotions and noticing when others are holding back. You could be trying to hide that you're sad and my kids will know because they feel very comfortable discussing and navigating emotions. Another tradition that we do that is rooted in love is our commitment to learning and development.

[00:29:58] Vanessa Rae Alonso

So, if we have a problem as a family, we're all looking for a solution. It's a ‘we’ problem and we remain open to learning. My daughter had suffered a trauma caused by a close friend suicide outcry, and she began therapy shortly after. There she learned about EMDR and taught my husband about it and practiced with him, so we're very open to sharing what we've learned so we can all grow and benefit together.

[00:30:25] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Continuous learning is a big tradition and core value for our family, we invest in knowledge and personal self-development. As a united family that we strive to be, we hold each other accountable for individual growth and share our emotions because we know that will help us thrive for the better. And we even love to play a card game called “Our Moment.”

[00:30:46] Vanessa Rae Alonso

It's a fun tradition during family dinners. We pull out the deck of cards, and then we all take turns answering that card and hear each other's perspectives on a range of topics. It helps improve listening skills and we develop open and meaningful communication in a safe space so our children can share their answers without judgment. And the beauty of creating these new traditions rooted in love is that you choose what works best for you and your family.

[00:31:12] Vanessa Rae Alonso

It's about releasing these toxic and hurtful traditions that don't bring joy and choosing a tradition that support each other, and fosters connection, and abundance. For those of you who are watching this, I would love for you to share your traditions in the comments below!.

[00:31:28] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Amigas. Let's take a moment to talk about the common challenges many of us face when dealing with generational trauma, especially when you know you want to heal, but you're just not sure how.

[00:31:39] Vanessa Rae Alonso

For a lot of Latinas, it starts with feeling stuck. You might be holding an overwhelming sense of responsibility, to your familia, to their sacrifices, and to your cultural roots. And then there's the guilt. How can you set boundaries or start healing when you feels like you're betraying the people who gave you everything? Then there's fear. Fear of breaking away from traditions that no longer serve you.

[00:32:01] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Fear of not being “Latina enough” if you do things differently. And most of all, fear a failure because you're not just carrying your dreams, you're carrying the dreams of generations. But here's the thing: You don't have to carry it all. You can honor your familia while carving your own path. That's where the four steps I shared earlier come in.

[00:32:21] Vanessa Rae Alonso

They give you a framework to heal without losing yourself or your roots. Step one: start with acknowledging and honoring your family's history. By honoring your family's history, you'll see the love that brought you here. Step two: shift your perspective from pain to compassion. When you shift your perspective, you can see the humanity in the struggles your family endured.

[00:32:21] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Step three: set those loving boundaries to protect your peace. Protecting your peace is essential for creating the life sin límites you deserve. Step four: create new traditions rooted in love and abundance. This is where you truly step into your power and create a future filled with abundance and joy. Recuerda amigas, breaking generational trauma is no small task and healing doesn't happen overnight.

[00:33:08] Vanessa Rae Alonso

But every small step you take gets you closer to the freedom you deserve. You can break the cycle, and you don't have to do it alone. By always seeing love, you're not just healing yourself, you're healing generations before and after you. Let's rewrite our stories together, one step at a time. This is your time to bloom as a strong Latina rose that you are destined to be.

[00:33:31] Vanessa Rae Alonso

If you found today's episode helpful, please share it with another Latina who could use this message. And don't forget to leave a review so we can keep spreading these powerful conversations. As always, remember: you are worthy, you are powerful and you are sin límites. Latina Sin Límites is hosted by me, Vanessa Rae Alonso. This show was produced, managed, edited and mixed by Ellas Media.

[00:33:55] Vanessa Rae Alonso

You can follow me at Vanessa Rae Alonso and the podcast at LatinaSinLimitesPod over on Instagram. And you can subscribe to my newsletter available in the show notes. For the next episode, I'll be sharing how to use your fear to propel you as a Latina.

[00:34:11] Vanessa Rae Alonso

Sin Límites.