The Unfixed Self
The Unfixed Self is a podcast about identity, transformation, and the masks we wear—intentionally or unconsciously. Hosted by Thomas Sage Pedersen, this show explores what it means to live authentically in a performative world.
Drawing from philosophy, psychology, spirituality, and personal lived experience, Thomas invites you into conversations and reflections that help you navigate change, decondition old patterns, and connect with the fluid, evolving self beneath it all.
This is a space for seekers, rebels, deep feelers, and thoughtful leaders—anyone ready to live with presence, purpose, and just enough wildness to stay real.
The Unfixed Self
The Day I Met Myself: A Journey from External Validation to Self-Love
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
This is a spoken word poem type episode.
After a lifetime of seeking external validation and love, I experienced a profound awakening where I met my authentic self and fell in love with who I truly am.
• Discovering that the part of me that was loved by my ex-wife had died after our divorce, leaving me feeling loveless
• Finding that family love helped heal me, but ultimately discovering that love exists within myself
• No longer needing to chase external love or validation from others
• Committing to strengthen spiritual growth and tune my body to its highest potential
• Stopping the fight to heal or become something different—simply living as myself
• Finding devotion to myself rather than external goals or success metrics
• Treating myself with the same loyalty, love and devotion I would give to a beloved partner
• Protecting my inner love and rooting in presence to bloom from within
The Search for External Love
Speaker 1Welcome to the Unfixed Self Podcast. I'm your host, thomas Sage Pedersen. Today, for the first time, I met me that wasn't performing, not afraid, not running, not searching, not seeking. I met me and I fell in love. I fell in love with me For most of my life, if not all my life. I looked for love, I looked for love. I looked for love. I searched for love. I searched to be held. I searched to feel wanted, appreciated, and today I got that. I didn't get it from somebody else externally. I got it from me, looking at myself and seeing the light within other people, all people. This was new.
Discovering Self-Love
Speaker 1I was always curious why, leaving my ex-wife, why divorce felt like death, felt like I was mourning a death, intuitively, intellectually understood. It was a part of me that was dying, a part of what we create together. But I realized in my ex-wife the her that loved me had died and with that, the me that was loved by her also died, leaving me loveless, not having love for myself, leaving me in a void alone. But today it finally hit me. It finally came to me that the part of me that was loved by Lauren had died, leaving the part of me that knew no other form of love, except for family to exist. When I went to family, I healed myself because of their love. But today I found love in me. Inside Love was something that is that I found inside my heart and I am reborn in this sense.
Speaker 1If I don't need external love, that is not something I am looking for. I am looking. I'm no longer looking. Love exists inside of me. I will not chase love. I will not look at love as something that is outside of me. I will strengthen my spiritual growth. I will tune this body to be the highest self it could possibly get.
Devotion to Self and Presence
Speaker 1My devotion is to myself and to my growth spiritually. I'm no longer fighting. I'm no longer fighting. I'm no longer fighting to heal myself, to be something different. I just want to live as myself. I am living as myself. I'm not trying to manifest the next thing, proving my worth, fixing my life.
Protecting Inner Love
Speaker 1No, I am just being fully gently in this moment as I speak tonight in this mic. I don't need to grow, I don't need to heal, I need to stop fighting my existence Because in this stillness I have found devotion, not in some external God or prophet, not to some vision board or dream of success, but to me. I will treat me like a beloved. I will treat me like I would treat a lover with deep devotion, loyalty, love. If I need help, I will drop everything to help me. I will protect that love like if I had a queen that I had to dedicate to. I will protect that love in myself, I will root in my presence and I will bloom from within, not for approval, not for applause, but because I am alive, I belong and I choose to be. Thank you.