The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner

#3: Embracing the Courage Quest

• Niki Sterner • Season 1 • Episode 3

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Super grateful to my conversation partner and dear friend, Micah Caldwell. She’ll be joining me on a future episode, and her story is one you won’t want to miss. @micahonmic

Most of us have it backwards. We wait for confidence to arrive before taking action, but what if that's precisely why we stay stuck? In this intimate and powerful episode, I reveal my personal turning point that came from a simple question from my acting coach - and how it launched what I call a "Courage Quest" that completely transformed my life.

After decades of limiting beliefs and chronic health challenges that seemed to confirm my fears, I discovered the neurological key to unlocking confidence: deliberately training your brain to recognize possibilities instead of dangers. I share the exact system that helped me rewire negative thought patterns, and how the momentum from one small act of courage snowballed into experiences I never thought possible - from handling giant snakes to motorcycle riding and whitewater rafting.

The most profound revelation? Confidence doesn't come first - action does. Through my daily practice of "The 3 C's to Confidence" (Clarity journaling,  Creative genius guided audios, Courage challenges), I've built a framework anyone can use to stop overthinking and start showing up. I explain why creating a "Scared list" and scheduling just one fear-facing activity can break the cycle of waiting to feel ready. Whether you're a creative professional facing performance anxiety or someone who's played small for too long, this episode offers the practical shortcut to confidence you've been searching for. Ready to stop waiting and start living? The journey begins with a single courageous step.

New episodes every week — packed with honest conversations, mindset tools, and real-life shortcuts to help you silence your inner critic, build true confidence, and take bold action.

📌 Subscribe + share if you're ready to stop overthinking and finally move forward.

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🧠 Click to learn more about the Dynamic Neural Retraining System (DNRS) and how it helps rewire your brain for healing.

Niki Sterner:

Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast for ambitious creatives and entrepreneurs who are ready to stop overthinking, take bold action and finally step into the life they've been dreaming about. I'm your host, nikki Sterner, mom, actor, comedian and producer. After years of playing small and waiting to feel ready, I went on a courage quest and found a shortcut to confidence. Each week, I'll bring you real stories, simple steps and conversations with experts. In mindset courage and confidence, plus heart-to-hearts with fellow creatives who are turning their dreams into reality. It's time to get unstuck and start showing up.

Micah Caldwell:

Let's dive in. Okay, so the conversation you had with your acting coach was the catalyst for the mindset shift that you knew you needed to make, and so, between defining what it is your why and the things that you did and achieved through retraining your brain, where has that led you? Where are you now in your journey?

Niki Sterner:

Okay, yeah, great. So once I realized like I had a really quick shift when I started doing the DNRS, like it was almost instant, like that's how powerful the brain is. What you feed it is what you perceive out in the world. So once I started feeding it positive things that I wanted to see and feel like joy and happiness, it was like, oh my gosh, I can actually feel that. And then, as soon as I started to feel the shift, I was like, ooh, I want to know more. So then I started to find podcasts to listen to and I trained my social media to feed me videos that were about motivation and neuroplasticity and what the brain is doing and how you can change your life. And I just dove in. I read books, I really studied how I could fix my life and that was a huge awakening for me, a rebirth, if you will. A year later I found Wendy Braun, who does performance audio collections for actors and VO artists and comedians, and so when I found her, I really opened my mind up to the possibilities because I felt like, oh, I have these guided meditations that can train me, because you know you get nervous like the night before if you book a job. You're like oh my gosh, can I actually do this? And your brain goes into like freak out mode. And so having these guided audios from her were just like you can listen to this before you go into your job and you can do it right before you perform and you can do it after so that you don't nitpick yourself. And it was super valuable. And when I had that, I had the confidence to open up my mind to the possibilities of all these different things. And when I did that, I said yes to hosting trivia at Mellow Mushroom Pizza in Buckhead, because I was nervous to do that at the start. I was like I've never done this before, but I'm going to say yes, and it worked out. And then this other opportunity came into the Laugh Lab group, which we're a part of because we're both stand-up comedians. We've taken class together because we're cool like that, like that, so cool, so cool, so cool. But yeah, so there was an opportunity for a TV show and so I signed up for that and I didn't get back to her soon enough. So then she was like, oh, but I have this other opportunity. That is similar to survivor, and if you get two other family members and you create a team. And so I signed up for that with my mom and my uncle and we interviewed for it a year ago on Memorial Day in 2024. And that's why I'm dropping the podcast on Memorial Day, because it's such a huge day for me, because that is the day that I said yes and I was like, oh my gosh, I think I'm going to get this, I think we're going to be on TV.

Niki Sterner:

So I need to start training myself for the outdoors, because I had not been an outdoorsy person, even though I'm from Montana, you'd think like I would have all these skills. I was afraid. I was like afraid of a lot of things growing up, and so I went on what I called my courage quest and I started training for the show. And so I asked my sister can I do tent camping with you guys? And so I did that. And then I went to a friend's house from high school who has snakes and reptiles and stuff, and so I went and held three giant snakes and it was crazy, but I cannot tell you how excited I was after holding them.

Niki Sterner:

It was like kind of freaky in the moment, but the rush of adrenaline and the momentum that I gained from actually doing it pushed me into other things. Like I got my motorcycle license, I rode a horse, we went snorkeling and I went whitewater rafting, which is like super scary. And we were there and they asked who wants to jump into the 50 degree water and I was like I do? I felt my heart go, oh my gosh, I could never do that. And then I beat my brain to it. I was like I'm going to do it and so I jumped in and I hate the cold, like I hate cold water. And then they pulled us back up but I was like, oh my gosh, we just did it.

Niki Sterner:

Like that's crazy, no-transcript confidence to do things. But for me, and I think for so many people, that's just not how it works. And realizing that and like training your mind to know that you can actually do things that are hard before you think you can, is actually the golden nugget in all of this. I created the Confidence Kickstart morning routine because I know what it's like to have big dreams and still feel stuck behind self-doubt, fear or the pressure to get it right. As an actor, comedian and award-winning filmmaker, I've been on over 50 stages, but confidence didn't come first. Action and habits did. This free guide gives you the exact 15-minute routine I use every morning, with journal prompts, a guided audio meditation and a simple step-by-step process built on the three pillars of the confidence shortcut mindset, path and action. These aren't just feel-good ideas. They're habits that work, that build confidence, that move you forward. If you're ready to stop overthinking and start showing up the link is in the caption Go grab it and start your day with clarity, courage and real momentum.

Micah Caldwell:

That's amazing. So you used a very specific term. You called it courage quest. Where did that come from and what does that mean for a person to go on a courage quest?

Niki Sterner:

Okay, I love that question, thank you. So the courage quest I was Googling and asking chat, gpt, here's exactly what I'm doing, what would be some options, and I just kind of picked words that I liked and felt and I was like, oh, courage quest, cause I am going on this quest, I don't know how long it'll take me and I need courage to do these things. And so that's what happened.

Niki Sterner:

I started sharing my courage quest with my Instagram channel on July 4th, because that was my independence day and I felt like it was my independence from my fears, like I was shedding my fears and gaining my independence and my confidence, and so I started sharing my voice on socials at that time, which was very scary for me, and this was before I started really doing stand-up comedy. So this was like, oh my gosh, I'm sharing. Like it felt so vulnerable to be on there, but I got such a good reception from everybody and I felt like there was this closeness to people that were actually hearing it and following the journey, and I think everybody wants that closeness and to feel connected to a group of people that are on the same journey. It's like having that community is just there's nothing like it. Yeah.

Micah Caldwell:

That's amazing. The reception was so good and that sounds like something that you want to now share more broadly. And so tell me, is that why you decided to do the podcast, and what are your hopes for it in terms of connecting and community and what the audience can get out of it?

Niki Sterner:

I started the podcast is because I don't want people to wait 25 years, like I did, to start taking action, and so I want to give people the information that I've figured out and that other experts and other creatives like yourself have found along the way to help them get unstuck, because I think you can stay stuck for your whole life, and it's sad so many people do feel stuck forever. They never quite get to that creative genius place where they love what they're doing, and I just want to give people simple little ways, little tips, little tools that they can use today to take action, even if it's one small thing, like for me. I want people to create a scared list. I want them to write down everything that they're afraid of. Okay.

Niki Sterner:

And then I want them to pick one thing, just one, and schedule it in the calendar, because if it's in the calendar, it's going to happen, and I don't want people to do things necessarily by themselves. I think it's super valuable to have an expert or a mentor or someone who knows what they're doing with you. If it's a creative venture, if it's a courageous thing like whitewater rafting, obviously you want to have a guide. If you're holding a snake, you don't want to just pick one up in the wild. You want to have somebody who knows what they're doing. Right, you don't want to get hurt.

Micah Caldwell:

That sounds like a good idea.

Niki Sterner:

Yes, you want to train yourself to do that every day. One of the ways that I do that, micah, is I have this thing called the three C's to success, and it happened along the journey in the last year, and that was you write for 10 minutes as soon as you wake up, to find clarity on your day.

Niki Sterner:

And just whatever needs to come out comes out. It could be comedy, or you could just write about what happened or what's going to happen today, or you could write positive affirmations, how you want to feel today. Just whatever comes out. And then I wanted to do something courageous right away. So in the shower I told you I don't like cold, right.

Micah Caldwell:

So in the shower.

Niki Sterner:

I turn on the cold water and I step into it and it's just awful, but I make noises. I'm like it's crazy. But the cold water, it tells me every day that I can do hard things. I don't want to do that, but I did it and I feel good now knowing that I can do it. It wakes me up. I'm like, okay, let's do it. What are we doing today? Then I also train my brain in the shower. I have a guided meditation that helps me with my courage, because I am telling myself that I'm worthy of all these things and I'm clarifying what I actually want. Like I'm worthy of sharing my voice with the world. I'm worthy of being on stage. I'm worthy of reaching out to people and asking them to be on the podcast. Things that may feel a little bit scary and they're just outside my comfort zone right now, but things that I want.

Niki Sterner:

Almost three years ago, I had just graduated from a two-year Meisner conservatory program, ready to get on stage, on screen and make my dreams come true. But as I started working on different movie sets, I noticed myself getting sick from chemicals that were off-gassing all around me. The breast implants and mold exposure that caused my brain injury were long gone, but five years later my brain was still stuck in limbic system impairment. I was getting sicker quicker with each new exposure. I felt helpless, like I'd wasted all this time, energy and money pursuing a career I might never be able to do. One day. My acting teacher asked if I'd prayed for a miracle, so I did. That's when the DNRS program showed up, and it changed everything. Dnrs helped me rewire my brain, shifting from fight or flight and constant danger alerts to creative flow and joy.

Niki Sterner:

If you feel stuck in anxiety, overwhelm or chronic symptoms, this might be your breakthrough. Click the link in the caption to learn more. This could be your miracle too. Another way that you can do it is in the gym or in your workouts. I did not realize until recently that you can lift heavier weights and hold your muscles. I didn't use to hold them because it feels uncomfortable, but the most growth happens when you do that.

Niki Sterner:

I'm seeing changes in my muscles. You know in my forties things that I didn't have in my twenties. I'm like what? Why is that? And it's just because I'm pushing myself outside of that comfort zone, like it doesn't hurt but it doesn't feel good. It's like I know that my muscles are working in overdrive and I'm like, oh my gosh, is this okay? I am a lot stronger now because of it. So it's just it's crazy how the courage that you have built in the courage quest just sprinkles all throughout your life in all different ways.

Niki Sterner:

Same with finding the right foods to eat For me. I didn't know that I should be eating more protein. For the longest time I was like it's protein, I should focus on fruits and veggies. But having a focus on protein intake really has helped me to shape my body in the way that I want to do it, and I didn't realize that until I got educated about it and started taking action on it. I do love failure. Now and that's another big thing that I've learned is to fail forward, whereas you and I grew up with like failure being bad right.

Micah Caldwell:

I did anyway. I grew up.

Niki Sterner:

Failure was horrible and if I failed at something, that's not for me. But now it's like oh, failure is good. How did I fail today? What did I do that flopped even in clown class. I did it. I got up there. It was terrible. Cool, I'm getting better because of it. Right?

Micah Caldwell:

Or stand up comedy going up at an open mic If you flop you did it, which you think it's going to be like the most horrible thing in the world, but it's part of the growth to fail, and you're right. I grew up nothing less than perfection was pretty much the standard for everything that I did, and for the longest time. For most of my life, I would never stick with things that I wasn't good at, and I also believed that I couldn't like something unless I was good at it.

Niki Sterner:

Oh really.

Micah Caldwell:

Which is kind of a weird way to look at things. Which is kind of a weird way to look at things. But I think you can be an amateur photographer and love to take photos and know that you're not that great at it, but I wouldn't even allow myself that kind of creative freedom because, well, I'm not very good at this. So therefore I suck, like this isn't good, I don't want to do this, you know, and I hate photography. That was my attitude towards failure.

Niki Sterner:

Basically, it was Thanks so much for listening to the Confidence Shortcut. I hope today's episode woke something up in you, reminding you that your dream matters and you can start now. If this sparked something, share it with a friend who needs it too. And don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Nikki Sterner and join our Facebook community at the Confidence Shortcut. Ready to take the next step? Check out my free guide, the Confidence Kickstart, linked in the show notes. Keep showing up, keep taking action and remember the shortcut to confidence is courage.