The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner

#5: Jump First, Opportunities Will Follow

• Niki Sterner • Season 1 • Episode 5

Share episode

Redefining confidence might be the key that unlocks your potential. While many of us believe confidence means feeling certain we'll excel, host Niki Sterner offers a liberating alternative: true confidence is simply believing you can take action when you say you will. This perspective shift removes the paralysis of perfectionism and opens the door to real growth.

Niki shares her remarkable journey from hesitation to action, including a pivotal moment when she submitted her comedy to a Hollywood festival despite minimal experience. Not only did she perform, but she unexpectedly hosted her comedy block when another performer missed their flight. This experience exemplifies the episode's central message: taking action before feeling ready creates unexpected opportunities while waiting for readiness often means waiting forever.

The episode delivers practical tools for quieting your inner critic, including Michael Phelps' technique of saying positive affirmations at every doorway you walk through. Niki reveals her transformative daily habits: taking showers with bursts of cold water (deliberately practicing discomfort) and using morning and evening guided meditations to program her mindset for success. She discusses how Gay Hendricks' book "The Big Leap" changed her perspective on self-sabotage and finding her "zone of genius" - that sweet spot where effort feels like flow.

What makes this conversation particularly powerful is Niki's vulnerability about overcoming serious health challenges that threatened her acting career after completing a two-year conservatory program. Rather than surrendering her dreams, she found a way to rewire her brain and continue forward. Ready to stop overthinking and start taking action toward your dreams? The shortcut to confidence isn't waiting to feel ready - it's embracing courage right now.

Thank you to Micah Caldwell, my talented friend and conversation partner. You can find her on instagram - @micahonmic

New episodes every week — packed with honest conversations, mindset tools, and real-life shortcuts to help you silence your inner critic, build true confidence, and take bold action.

📌 Subscribe + share if you're ready to stop overthinking and finally move forward.

💛 For freebies and updates, Join The Confidence Shortcut Community

✨ Grab your free Confidence Kickstart Guide.

🧠 Click to learn more about the Dynamic Neural Retraining System (DNRS) and how it helps rewire your brain for healing.

Niki Sterner:

Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast for ambitious creatives and entrepreneurs who are ready to stop overthinking, take bold action and finally step into the life they've been dreaming about. I'm your host, Niki Sterner, mom, actor, comedian and producer. After years of playing small and waiting to feel ready, I went on a courage quest and found a shortcut to confidence. Each week, I'll bring you real stories, simple steps and conversations with experts. In mindset courage and confidence, plus heart-to-hearts with fellow creatives who are turning their dreams into reality. It's time to get unstuck and start showing up. Let's dive in.

Micah Caldwell:

Okay, now we're gonna move to the Confidence Quickfire Round. So how do you define confidence?

Niki Sterner:

I was thinking about this today in the shower, and how I used to define confidence was that it was the belief that you could do anything well, and now I feel like confidence is the belief that you can do something. I don't think that has to be that you're great at something. I think that it's just that you can take action. When you say that you will, okay, and I think that's a big shift, because you don't have to be perfect, you don't have to know exactly what you're doing, but as long as you have the confidence to show up and to do what you said you were going to do, I think that's what confidence is.

Micah Caldwell:

I think that's what confidence is. I love that you talked a little bit about things that you did before you were ready, but is there one specific thing that you haven't already shared? That was a bold move that you made before you felt ready.

Niki Sterner:

Oh, yeah, signing up for that comedy festival in Hollywood was a huge thing. I was like, oh, what am I doing? I don't know about this? And then I submitted it and I was like, hey, what am I doing, I don't know about this. And then I submitted it and I was like, hey, if the world wants me to do it, it'll happen. You know, like, if it's meant for me, it won't pass me by. And it happened.

Micah Caldwell:

I was like oh my gosh, what? Wait a minute, that is pretty like out there. With what tape did you submit? Was it like admitted?

Niki Sterner:

one of my laugh lab, my first laugh lab.

Micah Caldwell:

Thing first like oh my gosh, that's amazing. Oh my gosh, that's amazing crazy right?

Niki Sterner:

yeah, I was like we'll see. I was like I'll try anything. Right now. My mindset's so good, I I'll try it all. I'm open to possibilities. And then it happened.

Micah Caldwell:

I was like oh no, what did I get myself into? I don't know what I'm doing. I know you spent a lot of time preparing for that. Like it was 30 mics and 30 days.

Niki Sterner:

What was the end result? What was the outcome? Oh, it was so magical. My mom met me there in Hollywood and we had the most incredible three days together. I did an open mic there called witty titties it's an all women's mic. It was so fun. You got to do it if you go to LA. There called witty titties, it's an all women's mic. It was so fun, you got to do it if you go to LA. And then we went to the Hollywood block with all the stars.

Niki Sterner:

We did a tour of the Hollywood Hills and then I got to see a couple of my friends. Their short films were playing at the festival and I got to host my comedy block because one of the comedians that was going to host our block he missed his flight. And so they were like, hey, do you want to host this? And I was like, yes, sure, I was like texting Emily Holden hey, so I've seen you host a bunch of things, how do you do it? What do I need to know? And so I just went into that night like I guess I'm doing this. I don't know, I've never done it before, but I'd hosted trivia, but I hadn't hosted an open mic before or a comedy show so that was pretty big, but I got to do 10 minutes that night, which felt like a really big deal for me, cause.

Micah Caldwell:

I think that's maybe the only time I've ever done 10 minutes.

Niki Sterner:

But I invited a bunch of people to come to the show and that felt very risky to me because I was like I don't even know how this will go. I've been doing this for a month now, so we'll see. But that was putting myself out there on social media saying, hey, I'm doing this, you should come. If you're in LA, please show up. And people showed up for me. I was like what the heck? That's amazing. I felt so supported. It was just incredible and I wouldn't have had the courage to actually invite people before. I would have been like I don't know how I'll do it, I'll just do it and then I'll tell people about it after Right. And so people in a filmmaker mentorship they showed up to support me. People from my Ruskin Meisner program showed up to support me, ask and it shall happen. It was a really beautiful moment a beautiful night, beautiful weekend.

Niki Sterner:

I felt so much love and that was yeah, that's what I want for everybody, though I want everyone to know that if you put yourself out there and invite people, they'll show up for you.

Micah Caldwell:

Amazing things can happen. Yeah, that's so cool, and all on a whim.

Niki Sterner:

A whim. Somebody sent me that from a class I had taken. They were like hey, I submitted my stuff for this, you should do it too. And I was like cool, I'm in, let's do it. And I don't even know if she was there, but I somehow got in and I was like okay, world, I guess we're doing this.

Micah Caldwell:

The universe telling you this is what you're doing, this is for you.

Niki Sterner:

Yeah, because I didn't grow up thinking I was funny, like I was the class clown when I was young. But then I got serious into school and sports and dance and I was more serious. So it's kind of funny.

Micah Caldwell:

You didn't think you were funny, so it sounds like you've got an inner critic, just like I do, a lot of people do. How do you quiet your inner critic?

Niki Sterner:

Oh, yes, sometimes I have to talk to it like, okay, I hear you, but I'm not going to water that thought seed today, and then I have to shift it into something else. If I feel myself going negative which can happen I have to take action and say things like I'm so lucky, everything I want comes to me with ease and grace and miracles happen to me every day. That's something that I go to every day of my life and I say that over and over again. I saw a video by Michael Phelps, who is the most incredible swimmer ever, and he said when his mind starts to go negative, he says a positive affirmation every time he walks through a doorway. And so imagine how many doorways you walk through during your day to the bathroom, to the closet to the bedroom, out the door, in the door in your car. Every time, if you say that positive affirmation I'm only gonna talk sweetly to myself today I'm valuable.

Niki Sterner:

I provide value with my words, whatever it is that you need to hear. That's what I do and it changes for me depending on what I'm doing, like for the podcast. It's like my words provide value to others and I can help people with sharing my experience, and what I say matters. So that's what I do is I have to just stop shift and recreate the moment to just stop shift, path you forward. If you're ready to stop overthinking and start showing up, the link is in the caption. Go grab it and start your day with clarity, courage and real momentum.

Micah Caldwell:

So what is one habit that has helped you build real confidence?

Niki Sterner:

I think it's the shower thing. Honestly, it's something that I really hate and makes me feel uncomfortable, and it's every day, the training part or the cold water part?

Niki Sterner:

The cold water part, really I hate it more than anything, I'm one of those people who will get in the swimming pool, barely dip a toe in, like, oh, it's a little cold today, maybe not, so for me to just do it every day is powerful, wow yeah.

Niki Sterner:

Another habit I think is super powerful is I have guided audio meditations that I listened to every morning and every night. It's kind of like brushing my teeth. So I reset my mind in the morning to know that I'm worthy of whatever I want, and I tell myself what I want to feel worthy of specific things, like I'm worthy of sharing my voice on a podcast, I'm worthy of creating a podcast, I'm worthy of getting on stage and hosting a show, whatever it is. I tell myself that every morning and then every night I listen to something called creating success while you sleep, and so it just trains me to know that I am creating my future right now with the thoughts that I am having and creating, and so it just reminds me that my thoughts are powerful and I am going to be successful and I have success right now. I have joy right now. It's like constant reminder every, every morning, every night. That habit.

Micah Caldwell:

So tell me what is your favorite book or resource that changed how you think.

Niki Sterner:

Okay, most recently, my favorite book is called the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. And have you ever seen the cover of this book?

Micah Caldwell:

Yes, yeah, I bought it based on your recommendation. It's so good.

Niki Sterner:

Even just seeing the cover of it, it's two goldfish bowls, one small and one's big, and the goldfish is jumping from the small bowl into the much larger bowl of water.

Niki Sterner:

He talks about the upper limit problem, and that's you feeling like you can only have a certain amount of success or a certain amount of love or a certain amount of abundance in your life, and once you hit that level, you start to do things that self-sabotage your life. Maybe it's a fight with a partner, because you don't feel like you can actually have that amount of love or joy or happiness, and so that's something that we have to work through is having an infinite amount of joy and happiness, or money or wealth or whatever it is for you. Another part that I really love in that book is he talks about our zones of functioning, and he talks about, like, the zone of incompetence things you're not good at. Zones of competence things that you can do but other people can do just as well.

Niki Sterner:

Your zone of excellence, which is things that you do very well Like for me, that would have been dancing or basketball or being a student. And then there's your zone of genius, which is what do you love to do? That doesn't feel like work when you do it, and the goal is to live in your zone of genius. Just knowing that was a huge thing zone of excellence versus zone of genius and to know that my zone of genius I might not be great at yet, but if it's something that I love and something that is in my bigger dream, that I can get there as long as I don't sell sabotage with the upper limit, if I'm open to the abundant ways that I can get there, it was just such a huge shift because I feel like I'm constantly jumping into bigger bowls now and butting up against that resistance and I have to come back to this book so many times, like once you start a new project or a new thing, it's like oh, I'm a beginner again.

Micah Caldwell:

I'm a beginner again.

Niki Sterner:

I have to be bad before I'm good. Again, dang it, I want to just be good.

Micah Caldwell:

I understand, I just want to be good, naturally good. But you don't grow that way If you're naturally good at something you don't grow that way. Right.

Niki Sterner:

Right, you just stay in your zone, stay in your lane, yeah, and that gets boring. Right it does. It does. Almost three years ago, I had just graduated from a two-year Meisner Conservatory program, ready to get on stage, on screen and make my dreams come true. But as I started working on different movie sets, I noticed myself getting sick from chemicals that were off-gassing all around me. The breast implants and mold exposure that caused my brain injury were long gone, but five years later my brain was still stuck in limbic system impairment. I was getting sicker quicker with each new exposure. I felt helpless, like I'd wasted all this time, energy and money pursuing a career I might never be able to do.

Niki Sterner:

One day. My acting teacher asked if I'd prayed for a miracle, so I did. That's when the DNRS program showed up, and it changed everything. Dnrs helped me rewire my brain, shifting from fight or flight and constant danger alerts to creative flow and joy. If you feel stuck in anxiety, overwhelm or chronic symptoms, this might be your breakthrough. Click the link in the caption to learn more. This could be your miracle too.

Micah Caldwell:

Why are these five questions so important to you? How did you come up with these and what are you wanting to get from them?

Niki Sterner:

I want to know what do other people think that confidence is and how do they define it. I want to know what has helped them on their journey. I want them to share resources that can help other people, and I just wanted to get a feel for what other people are thinking.

Micah Caldwell:

So these questions in the confidence quick round you're going to ask your guests on your podcast. Yeah, so now you have a preview? Do you start doing your homework? Future guests it could be you and the questions that I just asked Nikki, and the answers were illuminating, but everybody's probably going to have their own take. What can listeners and your audience expect going forward in terms of how often, how much, who, what, when, where, why? What is the podcast structurally, organizationally?

Niki Sterner:

So we're going to do the first five episodes and then we're going to jump into conversations with guests. The first part of the conversation is going to be them sharing their story, who they are, what they do, what they're passionate about, maybe a low point in their journey that made them get curious and want to change something. And then the next portion of the conversation, we'll talk about what they've learned along the way, along the journey, things that they can teach and share with you to help the listener take action today. And then we'll go through that confidence quickfire round so fun.

Micah Caldwell:

Yes. Why do you think so many creatives need a shortcut to confidence?

Niki Sterner:

A shortcut gives us permission to do the thing and do it not perfectly. The shortcut is let's do it now and let's fail forward. And the shortcut is important because so many people are stuck and we want that quick thing. We want to know that I could learn how to do something in 20 hours versus 10 years. We want to have hope that we can do something and it's not going to take the rest of our lives or 25 years.

Micah Caldwell:

That answers the question. What is the confidence shortcut?

Niki Sterner:

Thanks so much for listening to the Confidence Shortcut. I hope today's episode woke something up in you, reminding you that your dream matters and you can start now. If this sparked something, share it with a friend who needs it too. And don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Nikki Sterner and join our Facebook community at the Confidence Shortcut. Ready to take the next step? Check out my free guide, the Confidence Kickstart, linked in the show notes. Keep showing up, keep taking action and remember the shortcut to confidence is courage.