The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner
The Confidence Shortcut is your permission slip to start before you’re ready. Hosted by actor, comedian & producer Niki Sterner, each episode is packed with honest conversations, mindset tools, and practical shortcuts to help you silence your inner critic, develop a growth mindset, and get unstuck.
Designed for high-achieving creatives, performers, visionaries, and entrepreneurs, this podcast helps you build the habit of courage in the face of fear—so you can finally share your voice with the world.
If you’ve ever wondered how to build confidence, overcome self-doubt, or stop overthinking and start taking action, this show is your weekly boost of momentum. Whether you’re battling imposter syndrome, stuck in perfectionism, or simply afraid to take the next step, you’ll leave each episode with real-life tools and the confidence to move forward—one bold (and sometimes messy) step at a time.
Be sure to rate, review, and subscribe to the show wherever you’re listening, and grab your free “Confidence Kickstart” in the show notes.
The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner
#9: Julie Kendall | Confidence Is Surrender | Let Go, Light the Candle, and Trust the Flame
What if confidence is something you uncover through surrender? Julie Kendall, an award-winning actress who left corporate America to pursue her creative dreams, reveals how letting go opened doors she never imagined.
"This is our one shot in this body. Why not go for it as far as you possibly can?" Julie's philosophy has guided her through bold moves like packing her car and moving to Atlanta with no safety net. That leap of faith led to unexpected opportunities, including a specially-created position with a former employer who had been quietly admiring her acting journey from afar for years.
Julie shares her transformative daily practice that combines meditation, candle rituals, and journaling—a practice that takes just thirty minutes but has manifested remarkable results in her career and personal life. She describes writing each morning as if her perfect day has already happened, feeling the emotions and visualizing success before it materializes. Her candid conversation with "the universe" through a candle flame offers a unique approach to spiritual connection that anyone can adapt.
Most powerfully, Julie reframes our relationship with fear. Drawing from Elizabeth Gilbert's wisdom, she explains how she thanks fear for its protective role while firmly relegating it to "the back seat" of her life. "Fear never goes away," Julie acknowledges, "but I don't need you in the front seat anymore." This perspective allows her to appreciate even challenging emotions like jealousy as guideposts rather than sources of shame.
Whether you're considering a career change, creative pursuit, or simply seeking more confidence in daily life, Julie's practical wisdom offers a refreshing alternative to conventional advice. Her approach demonstrates that true confidence emerges not from controlling outcomes but from surrendering to your authentic self and trusting the process.
Ready to transform your relationship with confidence? Follow @therealjuliekendall on Instagram to learn more about Julie's wellness practices and acting career, or check out her health-focused content aimed at helping people thrive from the inside out.
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New episodes every week — packed with honest conversations, mindset tools, and real-life shortcuts to help you silence your inner critic, build true confidence, and take bold action.
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Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast for ambitious creatives and entrepreneurs who are ready to stop overthinking, take bold action and finally step into the life they've been dreaming about. I'm your host, nikki Sterner. Mom, actor, comedian and producer. After years of playing small and waiting to feel ready, I went on a courage quest and found a shortcut to confidence. Each week, I'll bring you real stories, simple steps and conversations with experts in mindset courage and confidence, plus heart-to-hearts with fellow creatives who are turning their dreams into reality. It's time to get unstuck and start showing up. Let's dive in. Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut. I'm Nikki Sterner, your host.
Speaker 1:Today's guest is Julie Kendall, an award-winning actress and former sales manager, who discovered her passion for performing in the most unexpected way through a public speaking class meant to calm her nerves. That one class changed everything, leading her to leave corporate life and fully pursue storytelling. You may recognize her from Tyler Perry's If Loving you Is Wrong on OWN, cobra Kai on Netflix, the Singles Guidebook on UP TV and the 2B thriller Sugar Mama. Julie's not only a powerhouse on screen, but also a wellness advocate and a globetrotting adventurer. She's rappelled cliffs, gone whitewater rafting and is always chasing what lights her up. I can't wait for you to hear about her journey. Welcome to the show, julie Kendall. Hello, so nice to have you here. You're so much fun and you're just a wealth of knowledge, especially for creatives and actives. You're doing so much and so I'm just so excited to get into your story. If you could just give us a quick snapshot, tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do and what you're passionate about right now.
Speaker 2:Wow, okay, who I am inside of me that decided to say yes and go for it and left almost everything you know that I was comfortable with behind to pursue it, and I guess I would say that I'm an adventure seeker in every aspect of my life. I was talking to a friend of mine this morning and I was, you know, talking to her about some of the questions that you had written down there and I realized that I've done some pretty dramatic things that people would say are dramatic in my life, and not because I was trying to stand out, but because I just believe this is our one shot in this body. Why not go for it as far as you possibly can, and what's the worst that can happen? So I would say that I'm a lover. I do as much as I can to love as much as I can and to love myself, to love the world, to love the people in the world and to love the life that I create. So that's it.
Speaker 1:You know, and that that is totally the aura that you put off every time I've been in your presence is this aura of love and connection, and you do a really nice job of making people feel loved and welcomed around you. That's just one of your gifts. That's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:Tell me what you're working on for acting right now been on a really cool show that's actually on social media. There's this whole new wave of production that began a few years ago called Vertical Filming, and at first I was like, huh, I don't know about this. But then, you know, the opportunity came up. It was miraculous how it came up and I just said yes to it, which I often do, because you never know, and I love it so much. I just want to continue, and I love being on set. It's called Country Wayne and that's with a K, k-o-u-n-t-r-y Wayne, and it's on Facebook, tiktok and YouTube and it's basically mini soap operas. They're three-minute-long episodes and they're all soap operas. They're three minute long episodes and they're all soap operas and it's so much fun I can't even explain it. So that's been fantastic. He does very, very well. This guy, country Wayne, started it I want to say maybe like 2017, ish and he just threw it to the wall. He's a filmmaker and things were not going positively between COVID and the strike. It was really difficult to find work. So he said I'm just going to do this myself, which a lot of people are doing now, and I commend them for it. I think it's really amazing how people just don't sit in pity they just say, yes, I'm going to try something new and see what works. And he tried this and it's been so successful. On Facebook he has, I think, 9.6 million followers, so that's amazing.
Speaker 2:My character I go by Julie and she's a Southern woman. She's very wealthy, self-made. A little bit was received from a divorce, so she's a little bit of a shyster. She's very manipulative and controlling and people are catching on to her manipulation, but it's nonstop surprises, which is so much fun. And, by the way, it's all improvised, 100% improvised. There's no script. We are told different things that need to be brought out in the scene and different emotions, but everything is 100% improvised. So, wow, what an experience. Talk about confidence booster, that is, try improvising a show or any, you know, because you do stand up and improvise as well. So you know, but doing improvisation with drama is also really cool. It's just so cool. I love it. I love it. So, yeah, talk about growth on the spot.
Speaker 1:Think of what to say. I would love to do that. I mean just to have ideas and just start recording, and it's obviously a professional setup. They've got all the lighting, or how far do they take it with the vertical filming?
Speaker 2:Well, here's the thing that is so amazing with this project. I think with other vertical projects it's a little bit more elaborate. With this it's a little bit of lighting, very little, no extra sound. It's on a cell phone and very little, little to no editing. So it is, yeah, it's just filmed Basically. There's no cutaways, so it's just going back and forth in between each person and if it's a good cinematographer they are able to capture whatever it is they need to capture. But it's really amazing. The quality is beautiful. You wouldn't even know that it shot on a cell phone. You wouldn't know that there's no extra sound.
Speaker 2:And then I just booked something. I'm so super excited. It's shooting in Shreveport, louisiana, and I tell you, you just never know what's going to happen. So I got a message saying I was booked and it's like a low budget SAG film short film and shooting in Shreveport. They reached out and said we're considering you for the role.
Speaker 2:How would you feel about coming to Shreveport, traveling here? And so I wrote back and I said, wow, honored, so honored, and love traveling for work. It's one of my favorite things when I get to shoot out of town. It's like I just I can't explain what it does to me. It just lights me up so much. And I said if you have a travel budget, let me know I'll be there. And so I thought, okay, I'm really putting a lot on them, travel budget, short film Usually they want local hire. Only Lo and behold a few days later. How would you feel about flying in doing this? Blah, blah, blah, we got a place, a house, we have a room for you. How would you feel about it? And I was like book me and so, yay, congratulations. You got to put yourself out there, really and just trust it. And if it didn't work out, at least I advocated for myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you asked for what you wanted. What a powerful feeling.
Speaker 2:Amazing, Amazing. It was so powerful. Not just booking it. Booking it was amazing. It was so powerful, not just booking it booking, it was amazing Booking it being able to shoot out of town. Even more amazing than advocating for myself and just putting myself out there and trusting it, and then it coming through. Wow, you can't have a better feeling than that.
Speaker 1:You know that is self-care. I love that because you had the confidence to ask for what you needed, instead of a lot of times we back away like, oh, I probably I shouldn't ask, I shouldn't ask for that, I'm asking for too much for myself, versus realizing your worth and asking for it and receiving it. That's so powerful and that's so confident. I love that.
Speaker 2:And it could have gone in the other direction. But I have to take the gamble because if that didn't work out, something else will come along, and that's the other thing that has taken so long to realize, and I really want to impart that to the people that watch this. We put so much on everything we do and we have to just do it, let it go and trust it. If it doesn't happen, there's a reason. We can't try to even figure out what that reason is, but we have to let it go and just know that something else will come along.
Speaker 2:We just can't. We can't hold on holding on. All it does is hurt us. It doesn't hurt anybody else, it hurts us. And I always say this to my best friend when he complains about stuff. I always say to him why are you saying that to my best friend? Why are you talking to my best friend that way? Because self-talk. Oh my gosh. We beat ourselves up so much, we put so much pressure on ourselves. We bulge this rampage of negative thoughts. We've got to stop doing that, because we got to take better care of ourselves.
Speaker 1:Do you have those thoughts that come up and what do you do to quiet them or deal with them?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do as much as I possibly can every single day to strengthen my mind, just like we go to the gym and work on our bodies, just like we eat. Really well our minds, we have choices and we have to stop ourselves mid-sentence and say is this the truth? Is that the truth or is there another option? Because it's partly a lazy mind, it's a pre-programmed mind, it's a habit that we're used to. But we can change that. We have the power to change our thoughts. And boy, I tell you, it is a simple process but it takes. Just like going to the gym.
Speaker 2:You don't see the results unless you work on it daily. You know like if you go to the gym, you're not gonna see your body change overnight. It's gonna take three months, six months a year to really see vast differences in your body. Same thing with your mind. You have to really be aware and catch those thoughts. As soon as you start to feel like, ooh, that doesn't feel good, you have to recognize it. That doesn't feel good. When I say that or when I think that that thought does not feel good, what can I do to replace it?
Speaker 2:And don't get me wrong, I fall into the cracks a lot and I have to stop myself sometimes. I had some things that come up this weekend and I fell into the cracks and it took me reaching out to somebody that I worked with for many years and I still continue to work with her. She's a spiritual coach, a life coach, so I text her a lot and I just say this is what happened, this is what I'm going through, any suggestions, and then she'll usually send me a video from someone like Abraham Hicks. I don't know if you've heard of her or not, but she's a renowned spiritual motivational speaker Amazing. She usually will send me a video and she'll be like oh gosh, that's so funny.
Speaker 2:I just heard a video this morning and it's kind of on the subject of what you're talking about here it is. So she'll send it to me and I'll listen to that. And then I'll do my meditation work and I do a ritual and I write in my journal and, before you know it, I've worked my way through back to those stable thoughts, those positive thoughts. I'm hesitant to use the word positive Because people always think that's hokey. You know they're like oh, come on whatever. But I'll just say that it's a more self loving thought.
Speaker 1:Do you write in your journal, Julie, like every morning? Can you tell us what you go through?
Speaker 2:Yes, it's a little different every day, but for the most part I write as if the day has already happened. So I write as if it's 10 o'clock at night and I'm reflecting on day, and I write it exactly how I would have wanted that day to be. And as I'm writing it, I start feeling all the things that I'm writing about. It's almost like a child that's daydreaming. Or you know how we played when we were younger. It's almost like that. So when I'm writing it, I'm writing it exactly how I would have wanted it to go, and I start feeling the excitement Like, for example, I'll say today was so magical. I went to work and everybody smiled at me today and that's because I made sure that I felt so excited everywhere that I went. People complimented me, people interacted with me in fun and exciting ways.
Speaker 2:My job even though it's a mundane job. I envisioned that I was the CEO of the company and that I was just going out and helping to make sure that my accounts are satisfied and that my reps are doing a great job, and I sang through the day. The sun was shining. Those are just a few of the things I ate amazing, so my body feels great. I took some time to work out. Even though I didn't have a lot of time today for extra activity, I made sure that I did some ab work and some core work and some balance work and boy, it was such a beautiful day. My heart is full and I feel so lucky and blessed and things like that.
Speaker 2:I'll sometimes go a little bit further and talk about if I have an audition that day. I'll talk about how the audition went, how I breathed into it and felt so good about my work and you know, blah, blah, blah. I just do things like that and I write that and by the time I get to my journal, I've already done my meditation. I've done a little ritual that I do each day with a candle lighting and talking with a higher power, and then I stop and write in my journal and after I'm done with all of that, I feel like I literally won the lottery. It just feels so good. It totally shifts everything.
Speaker 2:Most people would say that's excessive. But is it really? If it's something that really works and makes you feel good, is that excessive? I don't think so. I think not doing it is missing out. I think you're missing out on all the great nuggets that potentially come your way because you feel so differently, because we're energy, right or energy, and I will tell you that since I started doing all this between my meditation, the candle lighting and the journaling and then I do affirmations as well, throughout the day, a lot of times as well but since I've been doing that, I've had one of my best years as an actor and financially, last year that I've had in a long time in this year has been amazing.
Speaker 1:So I created the confidence kickstart morning routine because I know what it's like to have big dreams and still feel stuck behind self-doubt, fear or the pressure to get it right. As an actor, comedian and award winning filmmaker, I've been on over 50 stages, but confidence didn't come first. Action and habits did. This free guide gives you the exact 15-minute routine I use every morning, with journal prompts, a guided audio meditation and a simple step-by-step process built on the three pillars of the Confident Shortcut Mindset, path and Action. These aren't just feel-good ideas. They're habits that work, that build confidence, that move you forward. If you're ready to stop overthinking and start showing up the link is in the caption Go grab it and start your day with clarity, courage and real momentum. Wow, that is absolutely incredible. I'm curious, julie how long does this take you in the morning? Is this like an hour routine?
Speaker 2:So in bed I listen to a guided meditation, and if I have more time that morning, if I wake up early enough or I have more time, I'll listen to a longer one. If not, I just listen to it like a five to six minute one.
Speaker 1:Where do you get those?
Speaker 2:On Insight Timer. I love Insight Timer. There are a number of ones out there. Yeah, that I was led to and I've been using it for probably 10 years now. Love it, wow, yeah, I love it. You can get it for free, which is amazing. And what's even more amazing is that they send you a plethora of choices and you get to decide which one you want to listen to, depending on how long, what you want to work on, what you feel called to. Sometimes I listen to abundance, sometimes I listen to financials, sometimes I listen to letting go, some surrendering. You know, it just depends on I feel like I need that morning or that night.
Speaker 2:I listened to it twice a day, actually, before I go to sleep. I fell asleep to an timer meditation as well, and then also I, throughout the day, like when I'm getting ready, I'll oftentimes listen to an Abraham Hicks segment as well, and I get those on YouTube. They're free, so I'll do that when I'm in the shower or when I'm getting ready, I'll listen to them as well, cause those are amazing reminders too. But no, the actual ritual that I do between meditating, stretching because I stretch every morning while I'm in bed as well, because I want to. I stretch and then I tap my body to like kind of get my circulation. I kick my legs. I want to get my circulation going, my heart pumping, right in bed. I do that, I listen to my meditation, I do my stretching, I do my stimulation and then I get up and I do my candle lighting and my journaling and I want to say maybe a half hour.
Speaker 1:Can you tell me about the candle lighting? I'm curious because I have never done that other than to do a burning ritual ceremony thing to get rid of past beliefs that weren't serving me. But I've never heard of one every morning. I'm curious. Tell me about that please.
Speaker 2:So it was suggested for me to do and it was very specific how somebody suggested it and I've made it my own. So I'm going to give you my way that I'm doing it, but there is no right way or wrong way. It's really feeling into it. So I have a candelabra Is that what it's called? It's like a candlestick, one of the tall ones, tall, thin ones, and that's what was suggested for me, and I have it in a candle holder and I just in my living room it's quiet, I light the candle and I actually just get quiet for a minute and I talk out loud about something that I want answers to, something that I feel like I want to address.
Speaker 2:For example, this morning I had remnants of kind of some challenge I had over the weekend. I woke up with feeling a little bit ambivalent, like a little off center. So I call it the universe, call it whatever you want. Source God. However, you refer to your higher power. So I basically just say universe.
Speaker 2:I really want to talk to you about how I'm feeling this morning and I want some clarity about why I'm feeling this way. This is what I'm feeling. Can you give me some clarity? And I'll sit still for a minute and then I'll hear higher than myself. A lot of people say it's your higher self, some people say it's God. I'm open to whatever it is that is greater than me. It could be, like I said, my higher self, it could be the universe talking to me, god talking to me, but basically I will hear.
Speaker 2:Well, julie, I'm so glad you asked me that, because this is my perspective on this. This is what I see. What do you think of that? And I'll just have a conversation. And before I know it, it's so amazing because I will get clearer perspective than I ever have just by to what source is sharing with me. And we all have the answers inside. This is the. We all have the answers. And if we don't have them inside us, we have access to them. We have the answers if we just stop and get it and allow them to come through for us. So, basically, those answers come through for me and then, a lot of times, my higher power will say write in your journal right now, write about this. Or, after I'm done getting whatever information I need, I'll snuff out my candle. I never blow it out, I snuff it out. That's what I was doing.
Speaker 1:What does that mean?
Speaker 2:I use a little thing to put it out instead of blowing it out. From what I understand, my friend that shared this ritual with me said don't ever blow the candle out, and I don't remember what the reason was, but this is my interpretation. There is no right way or wrong way. I'm sure if you blow the candle out you're not going to jinx anything or ruin everything, but from a ritualistic perspective, for habit I just snuff it out with a little glass thing you can use like a metal thing just to put it out. I always feel fulfilled because I've gotten information that I needed to hear. And then when I start journaling a lot of times I mentioned that I write about my day, but it includes what I learned in there the universe or source will say to me write down what it is that you want me to work on for you. When I do that as well, almost always things happen, like almost immediately. Money shows up, a booking happens, something happens, it's just amazing. Somebody reaches out to me, an opportunity shows up something, so it's just amazing. Somebody reaches out to me, an opportunity shows up something, so it's very powerful. A written word is so powerful. And then these conversations with source, so powerful. But, more importantly, the self-reflection is just unbelievable, and this helps strengthen the mind.
Speaker 2:Back to what we were talking about before, allowing me to get in with making a different choice instead of just falling into that old habit, that old choice that I felt comfortable, comfortably uncomfortable in. We're all human. We all have that happen, and this does not happen overnight. I went through 11 years of working on and off with a spiritual coach. I've gone to counseling. I believe in counseling when you need it. I believe in whatever practice you do. Some people pray, some people believe in doing that daily. I believe whatever it is that grounds you allows you to communicate with something greater than yourself. And meditating are so incredibly important because it strengthens the mind.
Speaker 1:I took so much out of this conversation. This is so powerful, this routine that you have every morning and you said you do something at night as well Listen to a guided audio. I do the same thing. I think it's super helpful, Like you said, resetting in the morning and at night so that when you're asleep, your brain is also thinking thoughts that you want and working on something that you might need help with.
Speaker 1:I can't tell you how much the conversation with the universe. That is probably the main thing I'm going to take away, because I don't do that right now. I know that I probably should, but that's something that's missing is that quiet conversation and then listen. I feel like I'm a little busy right now doing instead of stopping and listening, and I love the candle part of it because that is like an active something that you can do and gives me focus, and there's an energy, a warmth to that, something about fire. I don't know what it is. Maybe you could tell us what it is about the fire that brings the attention and the energy right there.
Speaker 2:You know I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I will tell you that and I meant to say this before. Thank you for reminding me, because everything you just said kind of reminded me, it brought it together. I was visualizing the whole thing and then I realized I actually talked to the candle. The universe to me is the flame, the flame.
Speaker 2:The universe is the flame or the source, god, whatever is the flame, and I oftentimes will see movement in the flame, even though there's nothing in the room that's moving, and it's just a reminder that something is there listening to me, with me, and sometimes the flame gets bigger, sometimes it gets smaller, Sometimes it moves, sometimes it just does so many things and it's just a reiteration to me that there's something greater than me in this flame. For me it just insinuates the greater power, because fire, it's a power. So for me the significance is it is the universe in a form, in some type of form, because it is like a lit up, bright, effervescent power. Yeah, that's very great.
Speaker 1:That's a great description, thank you. If you've been living with chronic symptoms like pain, brain fog, sensitivity to smells, light or sound, it might not just be your body, it could be your brain, stuck in a survival loop. Dnrs stands for Dynamic Neural Retraining System. It's a science-backed program that helps rewire the limbic system, the part of the brain responsible for fear, fight or flight and overreaction to everyday things. It changed everything for me, helping me heal and return to the creative life I love. If this speaks to you, click the link in the caption. It might be the answer you're looking for. Okay, we're going to go into the confidence quickfire round now I have five questions.
Speaker 1:I'd love to ask you.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Okay. So as a creative artist, working actor, I want to know for you how do you define confidence?
Speaker 2:I think confidence is surrender, surrender. I think when we let go and allow our authentic self to come through, we are really our best selves, our best and brightest selves. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful Surrender. I love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's so true, Like when we cannot put on the facade and just be. That is true confidence.
Speaker 2:Raw. I do my best auditions, when I just let go, I just let go my best work. I see, when I'm in my head, when I'm thinking about the lines, when I'm not comfortable with the material, whatever it is, I see that I have not surrendered and I'm just trying to do something. Trying and it's surrendering, not trying Just being.
Speaker 1:That's so good, that's so helpful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, true, yeah, and that takes work too. That's part of the formula with this whole ritual and journaling and talking with the universe and this whole state of mind. It comes with allowing yourself to surrender because, yeah, confidence in letting go is it takes confidence to let go.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful, yeah, okay, here's my second question for you, julie. What's one bold move that you made before you felt ready?
Speaker 2:Moving to Atlanta from South Florida. Yeah, I went through a divorce and an opportunity came up to stay in someone's house in Georgia and somebody that I knew from the films, from auditioning and being in her films two of her films and she had a house here and I think three of us moved in with her in 2014. I said yes, the opportunity came up and I was trying to figure out what to do with my life and I just said yes and I literally packed up whatever I could in my car, left all my furniture, except for some nightstands I think that was the only furniture I took and bedding, but no furniture. I just left everything behind and put one of those things on top of my roof and crossed into Georgia and started my new life. Wow, and that was almost 11 years ago. So I wasn't like young I'm not saying I'm old, but I wasn't like in my twenties and moved in with four of us in this house, four ladies, and I let go of my comfort zone all around me and just stepped into it and had no idea what I was going to get myself into. But I said yes and, by the way, from letting go and saying yes and just trusting. Everything came together for me. It was amazing.
Speaker 2:A job showed up for me from an employer that I worked for, had worked for 20 years before that. They followed me on. I posted a picture as I crossed over into the state of Georgia Welcome to Georgia. And I wrote my new home. And she, the owner of the company, saw my post and said why are you moving to Georgia? And I hadn't talked to her for like 10 years. And she said why are you moving to Georgia? And I said how did you know I'm moving to Georgia? She said I've been following your acting career on Facebook. And I said oh my gosh. And I told her I'm changing my life, I'm pursuing my dreams. And she said do you need a job? And I said I do. And she said I don't know if there's any openings in Georgia, but I'm going to speak with the sales manager and we'll see what we can come up with. And they created a job for me.
Speaker 1:You still have, or was that a different one?
Speaker 2:It is yeah, so I still. I'm still there 11 years later. Yeah, I'm still there part-time, and you love that job. I do. It's, yeah, it's that I love that job. I like the job, it pays my bills and it allows me freedom and flexibility. It is if I could have written down what I would want and just say universe, god, higher power, take care of me. It happens, I'm not kidding.
Speaker 1:I love that so powerful You're such a powerful manifester. It's amazing. I think you've covered this, but I'm just going to ask it and you can briefly talk about it how do you quiet your inner critic?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, we did talk about that meditation candle ritual, journaling, meditating twice a day, affirmations, speaking with either a counselor, a really good counselor, or an amazing life coach, or both. My life coach is wow. She's one of the most I'm going to use the word delicious individuals I've ever met. Wow, she's a major manifester and just got the most beautiful heart of anyone. She is my mentor, my dear friend.
Speaker 1:Okay, and what's one habit that helped you build real confidence? I don't know if that's going to be the routine that you do every morning or if there's something else that's a habit that you do for confidence.
Speaker 2:All of that and saying yes, and just saying yes, and not letting fear stop me.
Speaker 1:Did? You used to have a lot of fear Did you used to have a lot of fear.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I don't know how to say this quickly, but I attended a seminar, or a retreat, I should say, with Elizabeth Gilbert last year. I don't know if you know who she is. She wrote E, pray, love, yeah, and oh my God, if I can tell you how I was able to attend this, it was amazing. I got to go for free. It was amazing, I manifested it was amazing. I got to go for free. It was amazing, I manifested it. It came to me, I manifested it and I worked it out so that I was able to go for free. I'm not joking, it was an 800 plus. Yeah, yeah, I was able to go for free.
Speaker 2:So, anyway, one of the things that I love that she talked about was about fear, and she said fear never goes away. It's always there. She said what she has learned to do is she has learned to take fear out of the front seat of her car and put it in the back seat. She's had a conversation with fear and she says she said something like this. I'm not quoting her, but she says fear. I see you, I know you are in my life for an incredibly important reason and I thank you for all of the things that you have helped me to navigate in my life. You've brought me to where I am today and I know that if you were not there, I would not be this person. But I don't need you in the front seat anymore. I'm not kicking you out of my life. I know I need you, but I'm putting you in the back seat and I'm letting I think she said maybe confidence or whatever else sit in the front seat. You can sit in the back seat and I'm only allowing you to talk to me when I ask you. You are not allowed to say anything unless I ask you. And I was like, wow, so I do that a lot in my ritual, I do that a lot in my journal. In my ritual, I talk to different parts of me. I do that a lot of my journal and my ritual. I talk to different parts of me. I really try to identify, like I have.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say this is a very vulnerable thing for me to say and I'm going to say it because I feel like it needs to be said, because there are so many people that don't talk about this. But jealousy, we all have jealousy. We all look at someone else and go why did she get that, or why did he get that, or what did he get that, or why did they have this much money, or why does you know? Why am I not? We all have that.
Speaker 2:And for a long time I judged myself for that and I had a conversation with the universe and the universe basically said it's gotten you to where you are today if you did not that. And then it also asked me if I ever hurt anyone or did anything hurtful, intentionally hurtful, with jealousy as a part of me that was active and I never did anything hurtful. So the universe said to me okay, now do you see how it was healthy for you and how it got you to where you are today? And I said now do you see how it was healthy for you and how it got you to where you are today? And I said I do, because I judged myself. I was even afraid to say it. I was afraid to say it out loud. I realized, through a conversation with my coach and then the universe, that it's gotten me to where I am today, but it was never used in a malicious or harmful way.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's a huge aha moment.
Speaker 2:So part of my ritual that I do is I talk about different things that are taboo, that even we don't even want to talk to ourselves about because we don't want to admit like, oh, I'm jealous, I'm a jealous person, but it's not in a harmful way. If I did something like really hurtful or harmful, that's a different story, but even then that's where I was then. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm not that way anymore. If I did so, even if you did do something, forgive yourself. You're only human. We're human. We make errors. We do things from where we are in that time in our lives.
Speaker 1:But anyway, I've heard Julie to use jealousy in a positive way, like it is telling you what you actually want, and so that's like a guidepost. Oh, okay, that's letting me know that it's possible. Number one, they have it, I can have it too. And number two, that it's important to me to do that thing, whatever it is that you're jealous of. So it sounds like maybe that's pushed you in that direction, like to know what you want. And the fact that you said I think we all have judged ourselves or felt ashamed for being jealous or using it, but the fact that you reflected back on it oh no, I haven't really done it in a harmful way or use it in a harmful way that's really a great lesson and a great thing for us to take away as listeners right now to this conversation.
Speaker 2:So thank you for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so too, and I think do that with anything that comes up for you that you feel shameful or embarrassed or uncomfortable with is to just reflect, go in and say this is something that's gotten me to where I am today and I never used it in a harmful way. It's always been productive and this is how it's been productive Always. This is the other important thing that I want to say always do an accountability exercise of all the things that have worked for you in your life that have gotten you to where you are now, Because that is that's so important.
Speaker 1:Look back, reflect. Okay. So the fifth question is do you have a favorite book or resource that changed how you think?
Speaker 2:Well, I mentioned Abraham Hicks. I love her work. I listened to her probably at least three to four times a week. Insight timer getting a coach, a good coach. You can find someone that's just starting up that will work with you financially. If you're not in a position to pay for one, they're out there. Mine came at the time for me and I manifested I can't even tell you, I would never tell you what I pay, but so much less than what she charges everybody else, and I started that way with her as she was beginning. So call out whatever you need, journal it. I want to coach and this is how much I can afford. And I'm telling you you can find them. They're out there. They want to build their coaching practice and a lot of times they're willing to negotiate. So maybe there's a barter, or maybe if you do testimonials for them or whatever it is, there's always a way. Or go through your insurance, if you have it, and get a counselor, or both.
Speaker 1:Yeah, julie, this was an amazing conversation with you. I learned so much. I'm so excited to take some of these things and incorporate them into my life. So thank you so much for being on the show.
Speaker 2:And I'm just so thankful that you are here. Thank you, I'm so excited for you to be doing this project, to be able to get these little tidbits of information out into the world. It's not just mine, I'm sure you're going to have other guests that are and what you say, you're so reflective, self reflective as well, and just that you're doing this. It's so powerful.
Speaker 1:We're doing it.
Speaker 2:I can't wait. So how will people hear about this? Like, how are people going to? So I can help promote this and not just mine, yours too.
Speaker 1:I actually want you to tell us how people can stay in touch with you and follow you.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, that's not what I asked, but okay, I just remembered. I'm like yeah, I'm on all social media and at Instagram I'm the real Julie Kendall. So that's Instagram Facebook, I think it's just Julie Kendall. I have a couple of Facebook pages and TikTok. I forget YouTube. I do post quite a bit on YouTube as well, but it's Jules Kendall, I believe J-U-L-E-S. Kendall, and that's it. Feel free to reach out on Instagram. I'm a wellness coach too. I do some private coaching. I don't promote it a lot, but I do some private coaching. I love doing it.
Speaker 1:And they can catch your videos on YouTube.
Speaker 2:for that and Instagram, yeah, I do health related videos on social media. I put them on almost all the platforms, all health related, and a lot of times it's mental health, but it's also physical health. I'm really all about teaching people how to be their best selves from the inside out. It's all about what you put into your mind, into your body, onto your body. It all works together. So my videos are really focused on making sure people have simple tidbits to help you be eternally youthful. I believe in that, by the way, that you can be eternally youthful.
Speaker 1:I believe in that, by the way, that you can be eternally youthful. Thanks so much for listening to the Confidence Shortcut. I hope today's episode woke something up in you, reminding you that your dream matters and you can start now. If this sparked something, share it with a friend who needs it too. And don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Nikki Sterner and join our Facebook community at the Confidence Shortcut. Ready to take the next step? Check out my free guide, the Confidence Kickstart, linked in the show notes. Keep showing up, keep taking action and remember the shortcut to confidence is courage.