The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner

#11: Simon Huebner | From Asperger’s to Authenticity | Turning Schoolyard Comebacks Into Comedy Gold

• Niki Sterner • Season 1 • Episode 11

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Comedian Simon Huebner shares how he transformed his Asperger's diagnosis into comedy gold through developing quick comebacks, studying other comedians, and taking action before feeling ready. He reveals the mindset practices and habits that helped him overcome social anxiety and build authentic confidence on and off stage.

• Started comedy through YouTube algorithms that led him down a rabbit hole of stand-up performances
• Discovered using humor as a defense mechanism reduced bullying in school
• Focuses on authenticity in his comedy while playing with story details for maximum impact
• Practices one bit at a time to refine his craft and builds confidence through consistent performance
• Hosts a regular comedy show at Beer Growler in Brookhaven on second and fourth Mondays
• Manages negative self-talk by breaking challenges into small, manageable steps
• Uses the personal mantra that everyone is "in God's image" to overcome social anxiety
• Believes "no one remembers your screw-ups" which helps him take more risks on stage
• Found confidence through action rather than waiting to feel completely ready
• Recommends reading widely across different subjects to expand comedic material

Follow Simon on Instagram: @simonsaysfunny 

https://www.instagram.com/simonsaysfunny/


Follow Simon on Facebook: Simon Huebner

https://www.facebook.com/smhuebner


Follow Simon on Threads: Simonsaysfunny

https://www.threads.com/@simonsaysfunny


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Niki Sterner:

Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast for ambitious creatives and entrepreneurs who are ready to stop overthinking, take bold action and finally step into the life they've been dreaming about. I'm your host, nikki Sterner, mom, actor, comedian and producer. After years of playing small and waiting to feel ready, I went on a courage quest and found a shortcut to confidence. Each week I'll bring you real stories, simple steps and conversations with experts in mindset courage and confidence, plus heart-to-hearts with fellow creatives who are turning their dreams into reality. It's time to get unstuck and start showing up. Let's dive in. Welcome everyone to the Confidence Shortcut.

Niki Sterner:

I'm so excited to have Simon Huebner on today with us. He is a super talented comedian, one of the first people that I met when I started in stand-up comedy in Atlanta, and I have just adored him and I love watching him out on stage. He's so likable on stage. You're going to love him today.

Niki Sterner:

So Simon started comedy and writing jokes because he was delusional enough to think he'd be the first person who publicly found the humor in Asperger's and needed something to do during evenings outside of home. It quickly became apparent that, with a wide range of life experiences and opinions, that his comedy had more to say, than just his diagnosis. These circumstances include being a Jew who often fit out, an under-motivated bookworm languishing in his mother's basement while finishing a geology degree, a former oil field worker and a special ed teacher of a home-based study program, some of which have overlapped with each other. I mean, that is so much right there, simon. I'm like, oh my gosh, tell me more, please. Please, tell me what you are doing right now that you're loving, and I want to hear all about this.

Simon Huebner:

Well, thank you again. This positivity, this is all, nikki. So yeah, I think, when it comes to the things that I would be doing in life right now, it's about having goals that are more manageable. So say, you were back in school and you're expected to be good at every single subject. That doesn't really happen. I think we all know real life's not always like that. So, for example, teaching was ending, I was not doing comedy, I was planning for an IT certification exam. Those were things where I'm looking at a list, I've got note cards, I've got. Really, it's about just different strategies, about how to take a test, get the certification, get hired on at a government organization I will not be saying which one I'm a contractor for but I think having that test and trying to get a little bit better at something, these are all more manageable goals, things that are easy to envision.

Niki Sterner:

So, simon, take me back to when you were finishing a geology degree and wrapping up college and going into the work field. Did you have any sort of creative aspirations at that time, or were you just I need to get a job, I need to work. What were you doing?

Simon Huebner:

Okay, I didn't have the best experience in school, so I really just want to say I met the right therapist when I was nine and that went a long way. Didn't see him for a while, then went back. He's the one who gave me the idea for geology. I liked it. I stuck with it as I was finishing up. In terms of creativity, I always liked how humor worked, so to speak. I always liked what made something funny and why certain people could get away with saying certain things, whereas someone else, if they're so serious, is not going to get away with saying certain things, whereas someone else, if they're so serious, is not going to get away with it. And I just remember one time it was like 2010, I go down this YouTube rabbit hole and I look up George Carlin's Seven Words because I wanted to watch it. The whole thing. Is this a clean podcast? I don't plan on saying this either way, but-.

Simon Huebner:

It is a clean podcast but so I looked george carlin's seven words what?

Niki Sterner:

I don't know that. What is that exactly?

Simon Huebner:

it's a clean podcast and I'll tell you afterwards. It's okay. You cannot say on television okay, some of them you can now, but I'm not gonna again, this is a clean podcast, I'll go over it.

Simon Huebner:

You can youtube seven dirty words you cannot say on tv oh but the way I didn't really realize how algorithms were showing you the next thing, and then the next thing, and then the next thing, and then the next thing, and so I ended up just diving into comedy and I cannot make up what happened next, because, like I could say something very funny in a room that could destroy the room, but I could not do it consistently. But the more I'm listening to other comedians, even if it is not my style or not, my sensibilities, like my brain, started firing faster and I found I would much rather be watching this than I would be a typical yak fest or the same old things on the radio. There used to be a radio station in Atlanta. It's like they fill their airs with comedy but they couldn't fill up anything else and it just was not profitable.

Niki Sterner:

But I'm like, oh my goodness, I am not changing the style at all, so yeah, so you studied other comedians and you feel like that has really helped you with your writing or just coming up with ideas of what you wanted to say.

Simon Huebner:

I think, more than anything having a quicker wit, because it's just you up there.

Simon Huebner:

There's a lot of times where I kind of regret Googling autism, ass-piggers, that sort of thing. That's another part of the discussion, but people make. One of the things that I was seeing when I looked it up was people would. There would be some people who would say how much they had learned from watching this TV show, and that, which is fair. I think if you watch press conferences and interviews, that would help you with conversational skills. It's the more of the back and forth banter. I never thought I had a nose for this sort of thing.

Niki Sterner:

You do. I've seen videos.

Simon Huebner:

Thank you. Well, I got pretty lucky with a few of them. Once I started to tape, once I upgraded my phone to have more storage on it, I got pretty lucky. And you just have to tape just about everything. Oh, tape and then rewatch. Yes, okay, where three drunk ladies come in from the blues bar next door.

Simon Huebner:

What you guys are not going to see on that clip is how they instantly ticked off all the other comics with the way they were going back and forth. So in my head I'm planning okay, what is my answer going to be? Sure, there's the comics in there who know me or people in there who know me regularly, but I figured, whichever comeback I'm going to have, I know I've got this. And one other thing I do want to bring up is that, just in general in life, whenever there's a, even in everyday conversations, there's a way to anticipate what the other person might say, which makes it easier for you to plan what you want to say back.

Simon Huebner:

But in terms of the funny stuff, as much as I would like to focus on the current parts, I have read through all my evaluations from way back when and I saw something in the seventh grade that said bullying was greatly reduced because he says he has a comeback. I'm paraphrasing it's been a while. He says he has a comeback, for this person teases this way, this person teases that way. It's not so much somebody else being mean. That person wants an answer and I've got to give it back or else I'm just going to. We're both feeling worse and I've taken that advice with me also when I was working for the same therapist I just mentioned. And when it comes to sticking up for yourself, humor, having a joke, having an answer with a joke, is the way to go 100% of the time.

Niki Sterner:

So you're talking about when you were younger and getting bullied, I think just in general.

Simon Huebner:

It's something that I was reminded of when it comes to having a response, and there have been other times where somebody said this is what the other person was saying. Where somebody said this is what the other person was saying, and my first reaction, that I'm saying internally is all right, are you upset that somebody is being mean? Are you upset that you don't have an answer? Because if it's the second one, you might want to do what I did and start looking up the likes of George Carlin and Chris Rock and those guys.

Niki Sterner:

So are you saying that's important because that's something that you can control, versus the other person who can't?

Simon Huebner:

Right, I think, yeah, just prepared Absolutely. It's just a matter of you can't let anything phase you on stage, and the secret to having some of these comebacks on stage was anything that has happened. Anything on stage gives you an answer to say the thing that you, if you had a crowd, when it comes to crowd work, when it comes to having an answer on stage for any situation, it's because it reminds you of something that happened in the past where you may have had the perfect comeback, but the second too late, and that's the sort of thing you can pull from in your memory bank.

Niki Sterner:

Do you have a really good memory, Simon?

Simon Huebner:

Visually. Yeah, when people tell me stuff it's a toss up, but I think, if I see it first, visually very strong. Spatially I was a pretty good navigator, I've always been that way, but yeah.

Niki Sterner:

I was just laughing to myself because you posted this really funny video on your story today where you were like in the party, you're like silent, and then you get to your car and you're like just singing your heart out in the car. Do you really do that? That's an exaggeration, but I loved it so much.

Simon Huebner:

This other fellow's TikTok was very amusing.

Niki Sterner:

Oh my gosh, that was so funny. I was cracking up picturing you singing in your car.

Simon Huebner:

I'm more of a podcast fan but yes, do you sing at all or play music or it's not like I could know a few chords on a guitar, but it's tough to have that pitch, you know.

Niki Sterner:

Yeah.

Simon Huebner:

That's. It's totally different to hit a note versus carrying a tune, but yeah, no it's. I think that's another version of creativity that would have been nice to have nurtured a little bit more when I was younger.

Niki Sterner:

I think you're really good at taking a moment and thinking before you say something on stage. I've noticed that when you perform, is that something that you consciously do. Okay, very good question so you stop and think what did they ask me? And then go into your jokes, like you said, like from the past. And how am I going to answer this?

Simon Huebner:

Okay, there's multiple parts here. That is a very good question. I've had to slow down intentionally.

Niki Sterner:

Okay.

Simon Huebner:

Because I cannot tell you how many times I would have listened to the recording and there was a part that I rushed through, yeah, and I also didn't realize the Southern would start to come out.

Niki Sterner:

Wait, where did you grow up?

Simon Huebner:

I'm a local here, Atlanta.

Niki Sterner:

Oh, you are no way.

Simon Huebner:

Well, believe it or not, yes, so we don't hear a lot of Southern accents anymore, but it will come out, I guess, if I have to shout or if I drank like I used to, but it doesn't really come out that often. And so when you talk fast and you're from the South, that's what I call boomhouring it, like the guy from King of the Hill who just talking super fast and no one really if you're watching it you did not understand what he said, but I guess there was a joke somewhere in there. And also one thing that I have learned the hard way that I think would help anybody who is on a mic. You have a mic, it's going to be amplified. Somebody else talks along with you. You have to make sure that everybody else heard what you heard, because there's a comeback that I've had.

Simon Huebner:

There's something that I had planned let's say it was at the Laughing Skull Lounge this is a long time ago where I ended up going. I was I'm fourth on the open mic list and the previous couple of times I had heard somebody talk along loud enough that I could hear them, but I could not understand what they were saying, like Charlie Brown's parents. And so the first guy goes up. He's typically a guy with very high energy. I think he'd gotten back from performing a cruise and didn't have that normal energy and this is somebody who I think is a total killer on stage. Second guy was a TV writer who he was in town for I forget which show he was on, something seemed a little off, didn't have such high energy. Third comic this is somebody I don't want to mention anything, any details, because this is not somebody I had a lot of respect for on and off and this person quit a while back.

Simon Huebner:

Okay, so I'm fourth. I see this person hesitating more than usual and I'm like all right, something's going on, let me see what happens. So I hear somebody else trying to talk with me, thinking it's a conversation, but what I'm hearing is Charlie Brown's teacher.

Niki Sterner:

While you're on stage.

Simon Huebner:

Yes, these previous three times are happening same venue on stage. So I step forward, I try to ask a clarifying question Because I'm fourth. This is a good spot. I don't want to waste it. So her friend sitting next to her shouts out it's her birthday. Okay, now I'm fuming, but all I said was in a fuming voice. Do you realize how many millions of people have a birthday without being a drunk hot mess?

Simon Huebner:

Oh gosh, got an applause break from the audience, but like I was trying to rant and do my set and that doesn't work, but that's an example of hitting a pressure point so I went backstage and all the other comedians also started clapping because I made it easier for them. But also, that TV writer was like you handled that as well as you could have, which is another pretty huge compliment. Oh yeah, I writer was like you handled that as well as you could have, which is another pretty huge compliment. Oh yeah, I think, when it comes to the compliments, if you go a long time without hearing them and then you hear them, I've got to watch myself and stay humble. A bomb could be lurking. You might say the wrong thing to the wrong person. There's a way to keep an even keel, but I do appreciate compliments like that and the ones that you've given since we have met.

Niki Sterner:

If you've been living with chronic symptoms like pain, brain fog, sensitivity to smells, light or sound, it might not just be your body, it could be your brain, stuck in a survival loop. Dnrs stands for Dynamic Neural Retraining System. It's a science-backed program that helps rewire the limbic system, the part of the brain responsible for fear, fight or flight and overreaction to everyday things. It changed everything for me, helping me heal and return to the creative life I love. If this speaks to you, click the link in the caption. It might be the answer you're looking for. So, do you have any sort of mindset routine that you do before you get up on stage, or do you tell yourself something before you go? How do you?

Simon Huebner:

stay positive and how do you keep your energy up? I think just maybe not so much before a show. I think you just want to be present.

Niki Sterner:

Do you go over your lines in your head? What do you do? Or do you just do? You take a deep breath?

Simon Huebner:

I'll try to jot notes down If I get a chance during the day. That can be a little tough to plan, depending on a workload and in case it's like the job I just mentioned, work does absolutely come first. I'm on the clock for a reason, but in that time when I'm off the clock and before I'm going out to shows, doing something active also helps. It could be a walk, any sort of calisthenic, the gym or something. Gym gets crowded. See what you can do at home. Or go off to a park or somewhere.

Simon Huebner:

I really like my bicycle. I would not recommend riding it along some of these Atlanta streets. Yeah, and like we said, this is as much as the podcast is about creativity. It's also as important to have something that keeps you active, something that's a way to vent, something that's a way to get some aggression out because, say, there's some work stress. I didn't think I was a happy, go lucky, positive person until a bunch of people said that I was. I typically for those who don't know me can be a very serious person offstage. I'll chat with you before a show, just things like that. But first thing I have to do really is disarm the audience because I'm really not as serious or uptight or as intense as I look.

Niki Sterner:

That's true. That's a good point.

Simon Huebner:

Whatever the opposite of golden retriever energy is, that's me and I promise I'm not going to bite anybody.

Niki Sterner:

Do you have that in your jokes?

Simon Huebner:

I've started saying that I think you should Thanks For as long as I've been doing this. I would like to get better at the editing part and I'm realizing that you play back your set. Okay, here's the laugh, then the next one, then the next one. And I think if somebody were to ask me okay, if I were to put myself out there asking for book shows, longer sets, it's okay. How long do I have to get the audience on my side? And then what's the quickest way I can get to this joke that I know is funny? Or to tag things up before I get to something that's really funny, or to play around with certain details in this story, because I'll start by writing out the details of a story, of something that happened or something that I think is significant, and then trying to work backwards. Maybe there's something funny in there, maybe it helps me process something that helps me move on in a more, I guess, a mentally healthier way.

Niki Sterner:

So who were you like 12 years ago or before this? Because I know you said stand-up has changed who you are from when you started to now.

Simon Huebner:

What does that look like? Very good question. I think I had gone from being work funny to do. I really want to do this a dozen years ago.

Niki Sterner:

Was there something that flipped like a switch? Did somebody ask you a question? Was it at the therapist?

Simon Huebner:

No, I think just in conversation, whether it was family, friends or people I knew, or just getting laughs at work. Okay, I have a really good story. It's one of many of them and it's from a decade ago. This is from. I was out of town working during snowpocalypse and I thought carmageddon was a better name.

Niki Sterner:

Carmageddon.

Simon Huebner:

I thought that was so much better than snowpocalypse. So it's like I'm out of town, yeah, and I had been working up north and I had been talking with you, have to make conversation with all these other people on a well-drilling site. I had to do my own computer stuff. I had to get a log of rock data, gas data, that sort of thing, but you have to end up chatting with everybody else and that day in Pennsylvania, in the middle of nowhere, you're going to have to deal with everybody's Atlanta jokes, or I had to. Oh yeah, so I'm going to say it's not that I was leveling the room, but I had an answer Like okay, none of y'all states are anything special either, so I've got to have an answer for that. And I think the other thing in terms of comedy, like the itch, had come back. But I had to work. I wasn't sure about the logistics of doing that, and so I tried it a while back, once and then twice. Twice was just so awful I swore I was never, ever doing it again, and so I remember it was 2014.

Simon Huebner:

It was Independence Day weekend and I was in Philadelphia, had some time off and I checked out Helium Comedy. Bouncer asked if I was going up I must have said something funny. I don't remember what I said, but he laughed. So I was like, all right, I still got it. But I watched this open mic and the first seven or so were pretty good. First seven were good but they had to be there for either work or school or family stuff.

Simon Huebner:

And then it's about 30 or so other comedians that I'm just watching and there was one joke that I remember. I remember thinking, okay, I could have done the disappointed basement kid thing better than you guys did. And I've actually read a few books which shows I can talk about something other than myself, and I'm like all right, let me sit down, grab a notebook when I have downtime and I'm just going to start scribbling the things that I want to say so I can fill up a five minute set once this job is over with, and it was over with soon enough within less than a year. So I just figured, all right, it's go time, which I try to make it go time when I can. Sometimes life happens, sometimes there's a work situation or family stuff, or I've really got to take care of a more important priority, because it's important to remember that we get to do comedy. We don't have to do it.

Niki Sterner:

When is your mic, Simon, that you host?

Simon Huebner:

Second and fourth Mondays of every month.

Niki Sterner:

And where is it at?

Simon Huebner:

The Beer Growler in Brookhaven, and how's that going? It really surpassed all the expectations that I would have had. One. It's an unlockable area. You have a lot of people going to shops and restaurants nearby. They can always pop in. There's some regulars, there's a regular amount of performers and I'll try to go out and branch out in a way that will bring in performers that are more than comedians.

Niki Sterner:

Like what.

Simon Huebner:

Musicians. We've had some poets. There's a friend of ours who mixes magic with comedy.

Niki Sterner:

I was going to ask if you invite clowns there too, because I know that the clown scene in Atlanta is starting to grow.

Simon Huebner:

I actually did go to a mic to do comedy. I didn't realize there were going to be clowns at this venue and I went up after them. They were not in costume. I did not know what I signed up for. All is to say, yes, I am down to clown, you're down to clown. Okay, that's right, I am down to clown, you're down to clown.

Niki Sterner:

Okay, that's right. Clowning is fun because it really it's you falling in love with the audience and wanting them to love you back. So it really I feel like it helps that audience interaction which we have with standup too, if we're brave enough to do crowd work like you do. So that's, I've been taking it, but you're doing it.

Simon Huebner:

Well, one thing that I've found is that my thinking was I wanted to get my bits out there as they were, but you really have to be willing to throw away whatever your plan material was in order to do that thing. Because there are things where I'm glad you brought that part up, because the main key to it is you have to be willing to throw away your prepared material, break that fourth wall to show that you are present.

Niki Sterner:

How do you do that?

Simon Huebner:

I think from earlier. It goes back to how do I react when this happens. It's about trying to anticipate what somebody else might say, whether it's good, okay or bad and if I have a bit that I've tried or say I know the audience isn't always listening I might try to open with a rhetorical question and give them a choice and see who answers it.

Niki Sterner:

Oh, I like that.

Simon Huebner:

So, for example, I would say the bit that should be my bread and butter is about scary movies versus Disney movies, and the bit that I had was I'll bring up talking funny a little bit If I stumble over my words. I'm like all right, shocker. I saw a speech therapist way back when while my classmates were watching Disney movies, when while my classmates are watching Disney movies. But then I'll give the audience a choice, because I saw these scary movies in full, from start to finish, rather than these Disney movies in parts that I also ended up seeing once. I first got my Netflix account and cut up, which is what I was doing a dozen years ago. I was working, but I was still doing this on the clock when I could.

Niki Sterner:

Have you kept track? So you've been doing this for more than 12 years.

Simon Huebner:

Oh no, that first couple of times was a dozen years ago. The first time where I said, all right, I don't have a lot of stuff going on right now was a decade ago. But life had happened a few times. Because I was trying to plan in terms of my future Okay, how do I plan for that? The game had changed in comedy so much I didn't realize.

Simon Huebner:

Okay, what would you do to be a full-time comedian? That's still something I have still yet to really figure out. I know there's different ways to do that. I know there's different ways for me to find a voice and to broadcast stuff online. I also know that I said a good bit of what I saw about my job. There are things that I would like to say, but I've also second guessed myself in terms of all right, who's going to find this? Even if people at work know some of them actually found some of the stuff that I had found, but I had already gotten along with these folks just in chatting after fixing whichever computer service they needed for them to do their job.

Niki Sterner:

Simon, what would you say is your brand of comedy?

Simon Huebner:

So I try to stick with things that actually happened within my life. I try to stick with 100% authenticity, but I'll play around with details. But I'll check the news app once or twice a day to see if something funny I can get something funny out of that. So whether it's my Google News app or AP, I'll try to see something like that If there's some new story. That's. I wish I had more time to look up press conferences or interviews on YouTube and things of that nature. So it's not just hey, this happened to me. This will never be therapy. I'll never ask an audience to solve my problems for me. It should be expected that you've done something about it and I think a lot of people that you might see on stage. They are clearly still in the process of working something out and I'm being charitable.

Niki Sterner:

I created the Confidence Kickstart morning routine because I know what it's like to have big dreams and still feel stuck behind self-doubt, fear or the pressure to get it right. As an actor, comedian and award-winning filmmaker, I've been on over 50 stages, but confidence didn't come first. Action and habits did. This free guide gives you the exact 15-minute routine I use every morning, with journal prompts, a guided audio meditation and a simple step-by-step process built on the three pillars of the confidence shortcut mindset, path and action. These aren't just feel-good ideas. They're habits that work, that build confidence, that move you forward. If you're ready to stop overthinking and start showing up the link is in the caption Go grab it and start your day with clarity, courage and real momentum. So, as far as organizing your jokes, do you have a method for that?

Simon Huebner:

I think writing it down in a notebook helps with retaining it, the information.

Niki Sterner:

So you like writing it and then do you say it out loud a bunch of times, memorizing it, or do you just have an idea?

Simon Huebner:

Most of the time it's an idea, and I guess the trick is to work backwards to figure out what's the quickest way I can get there to the funny part, yeah, yeah, or just, I think, listening back to stuff and making notes from those. I think that helps with the editing for what you want your laughs per minute to be how many mics are you doing per week, or does it just vary?

Simon Huebner:

it varies. I think, if I counted it out, there is more stage time to be had, since everything returned after we all were supposed to get our COVID shots. No, I do think. Okay, like I for one, I got older family members. I did not want to return until I got my shots, and then, later on, when I passed that IT certification exam, I think there's more stage time to be had. Now that's good. The most I've done in one night was five, but I could say no, that's too much. The energy level was just not there.

Niki Sterner:

How did you do that? When was that?

Simon Huebner:

It was on a Wednesday, it was Farm Burger, Smith's Mozzarella, Mike Pullman, Yards and El Dorado.

Niki Sterner:

Whoa.

Simon Huebner:

That was not that smart. I just wanted to see if I could do that and set that high score. Typically during a week, if everything goes right, you could do at least 10 or a dozen mics, maybe more. But however, I have to balance that with, I think, in terms of work, I had to learn how to practice smart. So if something happened, that was one I've got to be up early and I've never been an early bird.

Simon Huebner:

I don't remember a time where I really was getting up early or there could have been. I don't share personal details about other folks at work, but some things that were going on certain families while I was teaching I'm like my stage presence is going to go to ashes. So there's going to be times where I'm like all right, just go home, figure out another skill, do something else, go on other adventures, do something else to regroup and recharge. It's not just learning how to practice smart, and what I mean by that is trying to practice one thing at a time, one bit at a time. I'll say this is who I am, or I'll say this is the bit that I was thinking about. Then I'll fall back on a bit that I know worked, or something like that if the first bit bombed.

Niki Sterner:

Okay.

Simon Huebner:

Or I think just knowing how to edit is, I think, how you separate the heavyweights from the pretenders. That's how you separate heavyweights from just people who are okay, and I could certainly get better at editing.

Niki Sterner:

So when do you do so? If you work full-time work during the day, when are you creating your videos and writing your comedy and stuff? Just throughout, or at night?

Simon Huebner:

Okay, if I get a video, if I tape the video, I can play that back. I can have that one ready to go at a certain time.

Niki Sterner:

At night on the weekends.

Simon Huebner:

Or whenever I set the time to do. That could be lunch break. I could get better, but, like I said in my position, there's a few things I felt like I've had to watch a lot more lately than usual, so there's been a lot of second guessing lately, which is wild to say, on a podcast called the Confident Shortcut.

Niki Sterner:

How do you move forward, even with second guessing?

Simon Huebner:

Because, let's say, in any place people performing, I think you have to know that, hey, I belong up there or I could do this In a way that's not really. Some people would feel that way with dance Wonderful. Some people might feel that way with music or basketball or a theater, musical things of that nature. But I think when it comes to low overhead and you don't know anything about me, and then trying to grab the mic and do something, comedy was it for me and improv could be that for other folks. And yeah, I've heard good things about being able to train that other muscle in your brain as well.

Niki Sterner:

That's fantastic. All right, we are going to hop into the confidence quick fire round now. So this is five questions that I ask everyone who comes on the podcast, all right? So the first one is, simon, can you define confidence for me and what that means to you?

Simon Huebner:

It's that belief that deep down, you're capable of doing something, doing a goal which most of the time you've set for yourself. And it's a matter of not just that but also how you act towards others in how you're accomplishing that goal. Because I think there's a difference between that belief, mostly the quiet confidence, but more a belief in yourself versus hey, we get it, You're smart. That's the difference between reading and reading a room, in a way.

Niki Sterner:

I love that.

Simon Huebner:

Okay.

Niki Sterner:

The second question is what's one bold move you made before you felt ready?

Simon Huebner:

One bold move I made before I felt ready. One bold move I made before I felt ready.

Niki Sterner:

Something you did.

Simon Huebner:

I'm going to think here.

Niki Sterner:

You just said it because you were like talking about how you were second guessing something, but yet you told yourself no, I belong up there, I belong up there with them.

Simon Huebner:

I think in terms of you know what, just for that, just because you said that I'm going to post a couple of those clips that I had, I might have to censor a couple of them. I'll show them to a few friends of mine. I hope they pass it on to their friends and yeah, that's going to be your bold move. In the short term sure.

Niki Sterner:

Yeah.

Simon Huebner:

But I think I spent most of my 30s as a special ed teacher without having any sort of credential in that whatsoever. It's the guy who I was working for, whose forte was learning disabilities. I was between jobs and tutoring out of his office. We found you could do your classes online and, yeah, that ended up lasting really for most of my 30s.

Niki Sterner:

Wow, yeah, thanks. That's amazing. So you were teaching and you didn't have the credentials or anything, you just felt called to it.

Simon Huebner:

I had started tutoring and I think for what I had set up it was like a one-room schoolhouse with internet, so I would have a small group around a table, move around, help with manageable tasks, and I think, more than anything, people just need a grown-up to listen to them.

Niki Sterner:

Oh, I love that.

Simon Huebner:

Thanks.

Niki Sterner:

Yeah. So, simon, how do you quiet your inner critic? Do you ever have that voice in your head that's telling you that you can't do something, or that, anything like that, anything negative in your head? What do you do when you hear that?

Simon Huebner:

I think it's about taking small steps, one at a time. So, like I said, I brought up an IT certification exam earlier. Frankly, I should probably spend more time doing that than I am at Mike's. I should be studying for this instead of Mike's, I've sometimes felt, but the test is so long I just had to break it up into multiple parts, just small parts, one thing at a time, one thing at a time, brick by brick, like one thing that I said many times out loud was all right, I am as Jewish as matzo ball soup, but I can see why Catholics cross themselves Because it is a lot to remember.

Simon Huebner:

So if you say that, like luck or anything like that, I escaped being medicated like almost every other 90s suburban kid did. But I think one of the reasons there's kind of a story my mom had about that, but I think basically it was like when my dad read the side effects for some of these drugs. He basically said after taking one, look at the side effects. I'd rather my kid have some internal distractions than a potential heart problem.

Simon Huebner:

That's a cost benefit. That's a risk reward analysis, but that's why I wasn't medicated. But the way that I was, I guess, brought up I think I would hear people talk about meditation and whatnot I'm like that's the same thing. It felt like the same way. I had been shown to pray and I don't remember what I would have prayed for as a kid. But I think if you stop and hesitate and do that sort of thing for a second to take your mind off something, do something else for a little bit. I think it helps with focus and helps relax yeah.

Niki Sterner:

Okay, the next question is what's one habit that's helped you build real confidence?

Simon Huebner:

Okay, a habit that I had.

Niki Sterner:

Or that you have now that you love.

Simon Huebner:

I don't know if it's more of a habit, but more of something I realized or a way that I've tried to trick myself, and that's no one's going to remember your screw-ups. That's for you. That's hard enough to remember my own stuff and then what everybody else did. That's hard enough to remember my own stuff and then what everybody else did. And even when I had this high school reunion last year, it really felt like a game of chicken to see who might bring up what. But I think everybody's busy talking about their own selves and what they've got going on and their families and things like that. It was nice. No one brings up the embarrassing stuff. So thank you, lakeside class of 2004.

Simon Huebner:

Now it's a very nice reunion, but I think no one's really going to remember, as long as I can be where I'm supposed to be, try new stuff, like I did in comedy. So the other things that I would have mentioned whether it's things that happened in the past, or trying to be professional or in comedy things were not going well. It was one of those times I should not have been going out just because I'm not going to say what happened with this one family, but I went back to a club which was relapse theater and I figured okay, I'm going to go here, I'm going to try a new three minute set every single week, hopefully it all hits. But that's where I got comfortable saying okay, I'm going to try something new every single time and hopefully it hits. But even if there's one.

Simon Huebner:

But you want to have a place that feels like your home territory and that's the place where you feel most supported and that gives you the confidence to say I can try this without worrying. It's somebody who? What would happen in the back of the room? Who's going to be there? Is there a booker there? Is there somebody attractive in the audience? I had to trick myself that it doesn't matter who would be in the audience, because if you start caring about this stuff, you're going to think too much. And yeah, there's multiple different ways where I would have had to trick myself into saying I'm going to do this thing.

Niki Sterner:

I love that habit of going to the same place and making yourself do three minutes of new stuff every week at a home base type. You felt comfortable. I love that.

Simon Huebner:

Yeah, Because if you're watching a headliner or somebody that you like and you watch them build out a longer set, that's where the editing comes into play. It's not just filling time.

Niki Sterner:

It's about listening back, Simon. Our last question here I wanted to know if there was a favorite book or resource or affirmation that you say to yourself that changed how you think. Do you like to read books or listen to podcasts or anything that really stood out?

Simon Huebner:

Yeah, that's a good one. I think one thing that got me over some just absolutely crushing social anxiety so much so that when I would catch up with folks, they're like, wait, you're doing standup. But there's this little voice in my head and when it came to a conversation, I was like, all right, I might not be that religious, but I had to tell myself something that I heard when I was a kid that whoever you I had to tell myself something that I heard when I was a kid that whoever you're talking to, that person's in God's image, start acting like it. And that got me through conversations that were anxiety inducing, as well as the ones I did not want to have. And that's a way of thinking that, okay, we all belong here without being better than anybody else or worse than anybody else, and there's about a dozen different ways to express that idea, but that's the one that popped into my head at a certain time.

Niki Sterner:

Absolutely love that. The thinking that we all belong here. Yeah, yeah.

Simon Huebner:

Now, when it comes to the bits that I would want to put on there online, there's ways of looking up strategies when it comes to the thumbnails, when it comes to what you want to be known for and I'm still trying to learn that part, and it's been a while If somebody has done the work on online sales and things like that, would be something I should be taking notes on so that I can figure out. Okay, what am I going to represent when I get these clips up?

Niki Sterner:

You mean, what is your brand of comedy?

Simon Huebner:

Yeah, for what we're doing is comedy. But let's say I had a business idea. I think a lot of the same, whether it's a podcast, like you have a business idea or a standup act or anything where you're trying to say, hey, look at me, I want to monetize this thing. That's the watching online sales, like Gary V's videos didn't make sense on Insta to me. When I saw the longer form, I'm like, okay, this makes sense now. And there's other people who have said, okay, this is how you build a brand. And so there comes a time where, if I use these things, I don't have a sales background. Let me try what they're saying.

Niki Sterner:

So do you think that's what's next for you, Simon?

Simon Huebner:

That I don't have a sales background. Let me try what they're saying. So do you think that's what's next for you? Simon, that's hard to say in terms of hammering out what I wanted to say online because I thought what would have come next. I, like I said, there's an additional certification I would like to get for the IT skills, if there's a business idea that comes to me. Yes, I'm still trying to figure that part out.

Simon Huebner:

When it comes to all these other skills that a comedian would have, when it comes to it can't be just standup. I tried podcasting. It's tough, the editing alone and there's all these other things that you would have to broadcast it online. And I guess I'm still trying to figure out what is that thing that would grab people's attention, because I was not thrilled the first time I looked up autism, asperger, that sort of thing and I think people meant well, but they're all kind of processing their own issues. It's like how much do I lean into this thing when I just have to not let any sort of definition or comment that would have infantilized it, just have to brush it away?

Niki Sterner:

I think you've done a great job of that of really just representing yourself and not necessarily what people say. That is online, like you're saying.

Niki Sterner:

I think you're very authentic on stage and in person, and I want to congratulate you on that, because that is a huge thing to figure out, and it sounds like you've done a lot of writing, you've done a lot of prayer, you've done a lot of mental work as well, just to put yourself on stage and figure it out, because a lot of people figure that out by taking action. I think you figure out your voice by using it, by writing, by being on stage, and for you, you've had the confidence to do that. You've taken action before you felt ready. I don't know if you ever felt stuck, but I don't feel like you're stuck now. I feel like you're moving and doing stuff, and so I want to congratulate you on that, because that is huge. That's huge.

Niki Sterner:

You're a very brave person and I really do enjoy time with you and I'm so happy that you came on today. Thanks, yeah, and I really do enjoy time with you and I'm so happy that you came on today. Thanks, this is, yeah. I'm so excited that you're here. Thank you, simon, for being here.

Simon Huebner:

It was glad to be invited on. Thank you so much. And I think when I felt stuck, it's a matter of what you fill your brain with. So if you're not, if you're only able to feel like a one trick pony, this is when I guess I realized one thing that sort of snapped me out of it. One last thing you remember when Borders went out of business and they had a going out of business sale Okay, it's probably 15 years ago, but I'm getting different books that are about less than $10.

Simon Huebner:

And I was finishing up school, only had a couple of classes to go, but I figured, okay, I'd take one chapter of a book because I got extra time, then another chapter of the next book, extra time, and so on, and that really was a game changer in terms of the amount of topics that I was able to have, because if you have different interests, you want to fill your brain in a certain way with different stuff, rather than because so much of entertainment is us being talked at, and I think you have to have something in your head that says all right, who died and made this person in charge? Why is this person being looked at as an expert when I know that's not really true. It all goes back to just being active in more than one way.

Niki Sterner:

Yeah, definitely so. You're mentally active, you're learning new things, new topics. You're physically active, you're pushing your body so that you have a way to get the energy out if you're frustrated from work or whatnot. Yeah, and then mentally you're saying prayers or you're changing your thought patterns so that you can have that positive outlook that we see in you in life.

Simon Huebner:

I'm trying, but yeah, thank you.

Niki Sterner:

Yeah.

Simon Huebner:

I think Bravo, thank you. Yeah, we've really got to pay attention to how others feel when they're leaving.

Niki Sterner:

When they're leaving.

Simon Huebner:

Yeah, I've never understood why grownups are like I had a struggle. This person should also, the younger generation should also, and you should want them to. I guess the former teacher in me would say, okay, I really don't want y'all feeling the same way I felt. Yeah, that just goes back to reading the room versus just reading, and yeah, it's an important skill to have, even off stage.

Niki Sterner:

Yeah, amazing. Thank you so much, simon.

Simon Huebner:

Thank you, Nikki.

Niki Sterner:

Thanks so much for listening to the Confident Shortcut. I hope today's episode woke something up in you, reminding you that your dream matters and you can start now. If this sparked something, share it with a friend who needs it too. And don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Nikki Sterner and join our Facebook community at the Confident Shortcut. Ready to take the next step? Check out my free guide, the Confidence Kickstart, linked in the show notes. Keep showing up, keep taking action, and remember the shortcut to confidence is courage.