The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner
The Confidence Shortcut is your permission slip to start before you’re ready. Hosted by actor, comedian & producer Niki Sterner, each episode is packed with honest conversations, mindset tools, and practical shortcuts to help you silence your inner critic, develop a growth mindset, and get unstuck.
Designed for high-achieving creatives, performers, visionaries, and entrepreneurs, this podcast helps you build the habit of courage in the face of fear—so you can finally share your voice with the world.
If you’ve ever wondered how to build confidence, overcome self-doubt, or stop overthinking and start taking action, this show is your weekly boost of momentum. Whether you’re battling imposter syndrome, stuck in perfectionism, or simply afraid to take the next step, you’ll leave each episode with real-life tools and the confidence to move forward—one bold (and sometimes messy) step at a time.
Be sure to rate, review, and subscribe to the show wherever you’re listening, and grab your free “Confidence Kickstart” in the show notes.
The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner
#16: Pam Heffler | AWAKEN Your Passion, Pleasure & Purpose | “Dancing Home” to Your Dreams
Every artist knows the feeling - that persistent call of a dream you've set aside. For Pam Heffler, it was dance. Though she began her career as a professional dancer, confidence struggles led her to walk away from movement entirely in her mid-twenties. But the dream never disappeared.
During one of life's most challenging chapters when she "could have lost everything," Pam experienced a profound realization: "I need to dance again." This awakening not only rekindled her relationship with movement but transformed into something even more powerful - a methodology for helping others connect with their bodies' innate wisdom.
As Pam reveals in this heartfelt conversation, our bodies hold extraordinary knowledge that often goes untapped. "Our bodies know our pleasure, our passion," she explains. "They hold on to the pain that we've had and, if we listen, the opportunities to really let go of what no longer serves you through movement and to really claim passionately what you want to be manifesting in your life."
This philosophy became the foundation for her AWAKEN method - a powerful embodiment coaching approach that guides clients through meditation, journaling, and movement to release blocks and reconnect with authentic desires. Now, Pam is bringing her journey full circle with her short film "Dancing Home," starring opposite Emmy winner Max Gale, where she explores themes of family, dementia, and the healing power of dreams.
Perhaps most inspiring is Pam's definition of confidence as "expansion, getting outside yourself and really showing up in a big way." Rather than viewing confidence as something we must possess before taking action, she frames it as the result of courageous choices - especially those aligned with our deepest passions.
Whether you're an artist who's abandoned a creative calling, someone struggling with confidence, or simply curious about the wisdom your body might hold, this conversation offers a compelling reminder: "The dream that you're meant for will continue to call until you answer." And as Pam's story beautifully demonstrates, it's never too late to respond.
Connect with Pam Heffler through these links:
Check out her "Dancing Home" film page
Dance Your Life with Pam website
Book a Complimentary Embodiment Sesh w/Pam
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Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast for ambitious creatives and entrepreneurs who are ready to stop overthinking, take bold action and finally step into the life they've been dreaming about. I'm your host, nikki Sterner. Mom, actor, comedian and producer. After years of playing small and waiting to feel ready, I went on a courage quest and found a shortcut to confidence. Each week, I'll bring you real stories, simple steps and conversations with experts in mindset, courage and confidence, plus heart-to-hearts with fellow creatives who are turning their dreams into reality. It's time to get unstuck and start showing up. Let's dive in. Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut. I'm your host, nikki Cerner.
Speaker 1:Today's guest is Pam Heffler, an actress, dancer and storyteller with over 25 years in film, tv and theater, including roles on NBC's Heartbeat and Love Bites and the feature the Shift with Danny Glover. She's now bringing her own vision to life in her short film Dancing Home, where she stars opposite Emmy winner Max Gale in a moving story about family dementia and the healing power of dreams. Pam is also an embodiment coach and the creator of Dance your Life a movement journey for women to release blocks, find their true voice and live with freedom and joy. Her passion and her motto say it all it's never too late to live your dream.
Speaker 2:Oh, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1:Pam, I'm so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, that was a beautiful intro. Honored to be here.
Speaker 1:It's my pleasure and I have had the pleasure of getting to know you on a more intimate level through the Courage Quest over the past eight weeks, and you are just so magnetic. You're a beautiful, heartfelt performer who just wears her heart on her sleeve and you leave it all on the stage and on the screen, and so I'm just so happy to have you here today, and you're going to share a lot of your tools and tips for transforming your life, and I just I see you doing it and it's just been so powerful to witness you really like owning your voice, owning your power through your film, through your acting. You just keep continuing to show up. So, as we get started, I just want to ask you just tell us a little bit about yourself, who you are, what you're passionate about, where are you at right?
Speaker 2:now. Thank you, nikki, that was so nice and it's been just an honor and privilege to be working with you also in this whole journey. Yeah, thank you. I've always been a creator.
Speaker 2:I would say I came out of the womb like just dancing, just wanting to create, and I do believe that as kids we all have that in us and sometimes we get socialized out of it to find a path that isn't necessarily our true voice. So I was always wanting to dance. I was always choreographing as a kid and so I was choreographing and yeah, and so I actually became a professional dancer at a very young age and left that world and transitioned into acting. But it's always been, I think, about finding my truth and my passion and really sharing that in whatever medium I'm doing. And, yeah, I fell in love with acting.
Speaker 2:I really felt dance is incredible as well. It's a different way of self-expression, but, yeah, it was really challenging. When I remember first getting on stage and I remember someone in one of my first acting classes said just remember this, it's like you're fighting for your life up there and I thought I am to experience my feelings and my voice and have my truth, and that was so empowering and powerful in a way that was different than dance, and dance has its own way of actually surpassing. Sometimes I feel like words get in the way and movement's the only way that you can express something, just the way music is. I also dabble in singing, but I would just say dance and acting are the two things that really fuel my creativity, that feel, and I'm so blessed that I keep getting to have opportunities to use that in my life.
Speaker 1:And you've had some really great projects, even just recently. Like you, have a couple feature films that are coming out. Is that correct?
Speaker 2:Yes, and it's so great. I love holding the balance. I got to play opposite some incredible women and it's a tongue in cheek comedy, playing the white woman saying the wrong things, but it's with an incredible cast. So that's coming out soon and hopefully we're going to get a theatrical release. That's the word on the street. And then I know some so very excited about that. We don't know 100% yet, but that's what I heard from the director producer recently, like the last month, so that I did that and this is all recently, in 2025. And then flip side played this like really intense, beautiful homeless woman who has wisdom and insight. So I love that. I get to hold that balance in my work was just on set last week doing something that I can't talk about yet because of an NDA, playing a very upscale woman. So, yeah, so I'm excited. And then, as you said, I'm in post-production for my own film, dancing Home, which is so much of my story that I'm excited to share more about. Please tell us about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, as I said, I was always a dancer by nature, not necessarily by. I didn't have as much training as some people would think, but I was always doing it. It was just natural for me. Like I said, at recess I was choreographing instead of playing outside and I'd stay up late and my creativity was just very much off the chart. I have to say, as a kid and as I got older, I grew up in a very traditional family that was like that's cute, but no, you have to do the right thing and go to school and become an attorney, like all the things. Oh, yes, and I remember at a young age going I need to be a dancer what are you talking about? And going at it with my father. He was like not having it.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I haven't shared this really publicly. So literally it's like you can go, stay on a street corner and dance if you want, like I was getting ready to go to college. He's like I'm not paying for you to go to college to do that. That's ridiculous. Or go to New York. At the time, new York, I was like I was not ready for that. So I got into actually university where I had to take all the classes but I majored in dance. So I got a great education, graduated with honors.
Speaker 2:But once I got there I realized I didn't have the training that so many of the women had the young women and I ate it up. And I'll have to say my very first teacher said to me I said do you think I can make it as a dancer? And he laughed in my face what? And I was like I'm going to show you. And that's what I did. I did, I took so many classes and again fast forward, moved to LA, got into a dance company and then gave up dance in my mid-20s when I just struggled with confidence. So talk about it. It's very interesting, tell me about that point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a very low point. I'm very petite, barely five feet, and went into a lot of the big auditions. That if anyone's listening or watching, like what in the movies is really how it was. Like hundreds of people I couldn't see over anyone very competitive. I'm in LA and I would walk out of the auditions. I wouldn't stay because I didn't have the confidence and I was a great dancer back in the day. It was in my early twenties. I was training and training. I'd come out of school, I was in a company, I was doing all the things that I worked. I actually did some movies and music videos and all the things, and a lot of it was comedic because I'm tiny, which didn't really rock my boat because I was like I'm actually a good dancer. But so I really.
Speaker 2:And then some people have met me and said, oh, you should do acting, and so I left that world. I just I did it for and I moved to New York and I got great training and loved it, loved it, loved it. And when I came back to LA, I was in a small acting class that we were working on creating our own stories and I they were like, what about dance? I'm like, oh, I don't know, it was a long time ago. And then I burst into tears and I had so much come up for me around dance and I did this whole little one woman show about it.
Speaker 2:And then we went through some really challenging times about 10 years ago, my husband and I, and it was a situation where we were finding ourselves in a very precarious situation for a lot of reasons and could have lost everything. And I remember thinking, well, I need to dance again and I really want to invest in myself and my work. And I got into a mentorship program and they're like tell your story, tell your story. And I thought I have this story inside me that always shaped me, which was the relationship with my father and not really being supported and knowing what that was like.
Speaker 2:And I worked with a writer at the time and he told a story that he helped me write the story but it wasn't really quite the story I wanted to tell. I hired another writer that also didn't really work out, so I put it away for a while. But that story was always burning inside me about what it's like when you have such a passion and a dream and you're not supported to do that, and it was actually a couple years ago. That's how we met. It was when there was a SAG strike, the writer's strike and the actor's strike. I thought, if not now, when? And I actually had an actor in mind to play my father, who passed away because he was old, he was old.
Speaker 2:Not like he was old. Remember my friend was like too bad. Like what are you doing your film? What are you going to wait forever? And it was that time impetus, and both that and during the pandemic that I thought I've got to sit down and write this story. And that's what I did and we shot it last year. It was really extraordinary again, not without hiccups along the way. But here we are and I'm in post-production and excited and and I really have a vision for my film to be a much bigger mission statement about is it too late to live our dreams? And what happens.
Speaker 2:The character I play in my film is someone middle-aged who didn't follow her dream and in the story, which is fabricated, I made it up as a vehicle. My mother's passed away. It's one year since my mother passed and I'm going to honor that and I'm with my father, who is slowly slipping into dementia. And then we and this is a woman who's never pursued her dream because of what she emulated in her life Do the right thing. It's a line in the film your grandparents didn't struggle for you to throw your life away and be an artist. That was the message I got and in the film it's a grappling with this, seeing my father who's slipping into dementia, and also a revelation and some secret dreams that's revealed in the story. So yeah, and I'm excited to explore more.
Speaker 1:I think that's absolutely incredible as a filmmaker to get to write your story, produce it, film it, put together a team, be a huge part of the editing, the music. It's such a creative thing to do. It's really your soul and your heart and soul just in a movie form.
Speaker 2:It really is. Thank you, yeah, and I realized that too. And starring in it and attracting the right people, like my cast is like, oh, there's this young kid in it who Kevin. He's amazing. I remember when he auditioned we're like, how did we find someone perfect? And then Max was amazing and like, and as we were getting to know each other, I was like wait a minute, your birthday is the same day as my dad.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:And he is a dream. There's such a lovely human being inside and out. So everything about that was magical and felt and I, we didn't really even meet each other till he came from San Francisco I'm in LA, by the way and he came in and came in the day before for fittings and there we were and I felt like we had worked together forever. Oh just, it was just, and I feel really blessed and my hope is this will be a proof of concept for a pilot. Nice, because I really do think I see so many people and know so many people that have never allowed themselves to follow what they want. They don't even know what they want, necessarily, because they follow what society tells them. They don't even know what they want necessarily because they follow what society tells them.
Speaker 2:And I think even more and more now with how much we're influenced by external forces. I grew up. We didn't have social media. That didn't exist. All those things were so bombarded. And to be able to drop in and really honor, that is extraordinary. And to be able to drop in and really honor, that is extraordinary.
Speaker 1:Now you have a process for that right when you take clients through. How to find that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So what I actually wanted to say is when this very challenging time happened and I thought, oh, I need to write my story, and all I kept thinking was I have to go back and dance and I hadn't danced in a long time. I just want to make that really clear. I went back to these free form dance classes and was like, oh my gosh, I feel home here and I got such a download about how our bodies have so much wisdom and really know our truth on such a deeper level, Holds our passion, but also our pain. We store so much in our bodies and I just thought, oh my gosh, and I started writing about it and at the time I was doing some somatic therapy to support my journey and the person that was facilitating a group I was in was like you have a workshop there.
Speaker 2:So I created what I call dance your life and it was. And I started creating these. I call them almost spiritual journeys and I don't want people to be afraid by the word dance, because it's not about being a dancer, it's just using movement as the vehicle to access your truth. And I started holding circles here in LA that were really powerful, and in person here in different locations over it was probably about 2017, over a course of a year and a half. And then I got very busy actually doing a two-person show, which was amazing as an actor, and then, going back to this challenging situation with my husband, we met as dancers and he got back to dance, did an amazing show, and then we created a show about relationships in 2019, 2018, 2019. That was very powerful.
Speaker 1:Is that recorded?
Speaker 2:anywhere. We have a film that's part of the live show. We've got some archival dance and we danced in the Redwoods but we did a live show here in LA. That was pretty remarkable and again, I hadn't put on dance shoes in like 25 years and when we were getting ready to get on stage I thought what was I thinking? I hadn't performed in a long time as a dancer.
Speaker 2:And then I realized because I was doing my embodiment dance, your life circles, and I was in an incredible community of actors. So you're there just to offer your gift. It's not about performing, it's an offering. And it was so beautiful because so many people one of my dear friends now she became a dear friend just cried. She goes as soon as the lights came on.
Speaker 2:How did you do what you did? I want to do that. And I gave up my dancing by seeing us at our age we're talking older and she was younger. I was like how did you do that? I want to do that. I was like, yes, you can. And was younger and was like how did you do that? I want to do that. I was like, yes, you can. And then my neighbor was like you reminded me why I love my wife, so performing it became much more about the experience the audience had, and isn't it powerful, wow. And then, once the pandemic hit, there we were. I thought, oh my gosh, this work can really live online. And that's when I created my embodiment program called Awaken. I've been working one-on-one with clients and taking this virtually and really started to harness it towards women, because that's what was coming forward.
Speaker 1:Confidence doesn't come first. Action and habits do. That's why I created the Confidence Kickstart Morning Routine a 15 minute free guide to help you build habits that actually work. You'll get powerful journal prompts, a guided audio meditation and my three-part confidence shortcut system Mindset, path and Action. It's the exact routine I use to get up on stage and speak up. No more shrinking or second guessing the link's in the caption. Grab it now and build the confidence to move forward every single day. I didn't get Pam. When and how you and your husband met, were you in New York. When you met, were you in LA. Oh, this is great, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:It's ironic that you were saying that, because we met years ago when I was in LA the first time I was in a dance company. He was in a dance company which I didn't know, and I had actually had an accident when I was in New York which you may not even know about. So I'm missing part of a finger. Oh, yes, and I only say that because I was trying to put my necklace on this morning and I can't. Sometimes I can't because it's so frustrating.
Speaker 1:Is it your pinky? I can't remember. Is it your pinky? Oh, it's a second finger.
Speaker 2:Second finger Okay, yeah, and so the reason I mentioned that is that was going to be the last season of the with this company. I've been with this company for about five and a half years and we were, yeah, and we were traveling to New York. It was a big deal. I was in my twenties and this accident happened, which, again, was wildly traumatic and crazy.
Speaker 1:Tell us about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, talk about vulnerability.
Speaker 2:Wow, Might start to cry company. It was a big deal. We were performing in DC, which I'm from the DC area and New York, and we all went to New York but we had to find our own places to stay. It was a low paying thing, Like we got paid for rehearsals or something, but it was again. I was in my early twenties and I was leaving to go to rehearsal and I was staying at a friend's apartment building who I didn't really know that well. Go to rehearsal, and I was staying at a friend's apartment building who I didn't really know that well and the night before someone had let me in the door and I went to go take a dance class. I'd only been in New York once before, when I was like a kid I hadn't really been in New York at that time and they had a big wrought iron door. Apparently they had taken the mechanism out to slow it down because of security reasons and I walked out and it's cut off my finger.
Speaker 1:Painful, shocking, shocking.
Speaker 2:You go into shock when something that happens, it felt like a bad paper cut. But then when you go into shock and I don't even remember how I got back in to the place and I'm very lucky because it was only a tip of a finger and then right, and it was the day before we were supposed to perform, and so I remember I couldn't remember where the apartment was that I was staying in. I had just gotten there, it was three keys, blood was going everywhere. I was calling for help. I felt like I was outside my body, like what you watch on movies, people calling for help. I'm like, oh my gosh, this is happening. And I remember calling, finally calling 911, like where are you? I didn't know where I was. I had to look up the address. They got there. They're like we're taking you to Bellevue because they were hand specialists and it was a wild journey. And they're like where's your finger? I said I don't know, this is like a dark comedy. But they found it and they put it on a piece of ice and, yeah, like little pink nail polish. And then I got to the hospital and they didn't have a room for me. I don't know, it was a whole thing and they called my parents, were living in San Diego. They called my aunt and uncle that were living because it was in New York and the housekeeper didn't understand and I remember they were saying what do you want to do? Do you want to have the finger shaved? You could attach it. And I was like what I'm going to perform tomorrow? They're like no, you're not. The thing was very surreal, wow. And so I ended up healing. I flew to my aunt and uncles who at the time were living in DC, stayed there and they had a housekeeper that had been a nurse, so she was helping me.
Speaker 2:But it was a wild out of body, weird time and the reason I mentioned that with my husband is that was going to be the last season with this dance company and I had a real conversation with my husband is that was going to be the last season with this dance company and I had a real conversation with the choreographer. She said please come back, do one more season. And I did and most of the dancers were leaving and a couple of new dancers came in and one of them had a birthday party and I hadn't gone out again. I was in my early mid 2024, maybe I thought I had to go out. It'd been like eight months since the accident and my roommate and I was like let's just go. She was having a birthday party and I thought, who's that over there? And on the way out he was like I've seen you, you perform, you're a dancer. And I was like, oh, and then we were supposed to do a double date with this woman and they bailed out at the last minute. Woman, and they bailed out at the last minute.
Speaker 2:So we went on this date and I was like huh, and we were young, we were not looking for like the one at all. We were just like, oh, I'm going to New York, I'm going to dance. And I was like, oh, good for you. And we were dating different people and but pretty much just us. And then he left and we were both like I think we're in love. And then he said why?
Speaker 2:So we kept the long distance thing? We were both like I think we're in love. And then he said why? So we kept the long distance thing? And then he said, come, move to New York. And that really was when I really stepped into acting and I remember even then, at the time we were just living together and I thought this felt like the right move and I went to New York and then we thought I think we're going to grow old together. Let's do this. So we got married and then he was done with his dance company and I was pretty much done with my dance company. So it was so strange. We did other performance entertainment stuff in New York but we hadn't really choreographed together until 2017. Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:And then did our show and it was like we were so meant to do this, so I'm hoping we get to do another show yeah. It was very magical and very powerful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow, that's such a great story. Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thanks for asking. Yeah, I haven't shared that story in a long time.
Speaker 1:I love that. You started in dance Like you knew that was your dream, and then you went away from it. But then you went away from it, but then you came back to it, because the dream never goes away, right? The dream that you're meant for will continue to call until you answer the call.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And that is the theme of my film too, and my character even says I wanted to be a dancer since I was little and I can't do work that has no meaning anymore. I just can't, you know. And I do think that if people listen and again it's so connected to my embodiment work they will get to that truth. But I think, unfortunately and I see it with the younger generation, they're working and it's great. I understand it's a tough world. We have to survive. People are doing what they got to do, but I often think there isn't enough time to drop in and listen to what is it that you want to be creating in your life and how do we find those ways? And I'm teaching now. I teach a ballet class and it's lovely. It's lovely to teach people that aren't necessarily wanting to be dancers but just want that freedom of expression.
Speaker 1:Yeah, will you take us through the awaken technique that you teach in your program? It's not something that happens quickly, but yes, so just tell us about it. You can tell us about the.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just working with a new client yesterday. I always start with the meditation. Was just working with a new client yesterday. I always start with the meditation. So if you want to, just, we can, even in this moment, close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and your belly and just and I do usually use music, by the way and just really allowing that golden light to come in and travel through your body and just breathing in and feeling that healing energy, just going through all the chakras, through your crown chakra, and relaxing into your third eye and your throat and into your heart and into your belly, and then feeling that root chakra where your passion lives, and that sense of safety, and then really feeling that energy going into the earth. I think it's so important to feel our feet on the ground and then feeling the energy all the way into the universe and then all the way up, all the way from the center of the universe all the way back up, and just feeling that energy and knowing that our bodies hold so much wisdom. Our bodies hold so much wisdom. Our bodies know our pleasure, our passion. Our bodies really feel our feelings. They hold on to the pain that we've had and, if we listen, the opportunities to really let go of what no longer serves you through movement and to really claim passionately what you want to be manifesting in your life. Let's take another deep breath in and exhale. You might want to do a little stretch up to the sky and then shake it out a little bit. And then I do take people through a writing prompt where we just do journaling yeah, like I feel I want the truth is. And then yeah, so we really get to it again. This is all with music to really it's meant to be evocative, like the truth is what I want.
Speaker 2:If I really had the courage, what I I'm afraid of all these things and I really intuit what's in front of me, whether I'm with my group or with a client, I'll really know like I'll feel into what that person really needs and then we'll chat a little bit what came up, and then I take them through a whole embodiment journey. It's really a journey where we start with just awakening, like how does the body want to move, without being concerned of what it looks like, and like imagining what a child is like, how do the shoulders want to move and the arms, and really being in that exploring place, right, and exploring with our bodies and then our environment. And then also, if there's one thing that you want to really, I have them drop into, what is it something you want to let go of? And I'll use actually the elements earth, fire, air, water and really feel that in your body. And I, again, it's an invitation with movement.
Speaker 2:That's not necessarily choreographed movement, but allowing the client or the group to access that and to feel what is it and how do we release that? What is it? That negative voice? For me it's like the not enoughness, I'm not enough, like how do I let that go? And then what is it from that place? If you can again really drop in and listen.
Speaker 2:What is it that you want to create in your life? It, oh, I just want more confidence, or I really want to be speaking on stage. It's great. I want to feel free to set boundaries, I want to feel sexier in my life, or whatever it is I want to. I want to learn how to say no and not be such a good girl, right?
Speaker 2:So whatever it is, and then I take them through a movement and all of this is very curated with music, so music really guides the journey as well as movement prompts along the way, and then really to claim that, whatever that affirmation is, I am powerful, I am confident, I am an actor, I am able to use my voice, and then, from that place, after we've done all the movement, I'll bring us back and often have my client check in. What is your higher self now, from this place? Like this new client yes, I really am awesome. Like, yeah, from that place, what do you want to be creating? So it's not just about the container that I'm holding, but then what do we do with that and how do we then take those actions and take it out into the world, which is what my Awaken program is about.
Speaker 1:If you've been living with chronic symptoms like pain, brain fog, sensitivity to smells, light or sound, it might not just be your body, it could be your brain, stuck in a survival loop. Dnrs stands for Dynamic Neural Retraining System. It's a science-backed program that helps rewire the limbic system, the part of the brain responsible for fear, fight or flight and overreaction to everyday things. It changed everything for me, helping me heal and return to the creative life I love. If this speaks to you, click the link in the caption. It might be the answer you're looking for. So the A stands for something, the W Will you tell us what? Those are the pieces of it.
Speaker 2:Yes. So awaken which I love that word just like totally, are we awakening? Awaken, so I use that as the acronym. A is how do we really anchor in and align with what is so right now, like really getting in touch with that truth of where I am right now, just really getting in alignment with that? And then the W stands for listening to the wise part of you that knows. And right now my container awaken is for women. I've worked with men too, by the way, very successfully, and it's been quite beautiful. But I say, what is that wise woman know, and I truly believe, as women, that we have so much intuition and wisdom that goes on tap. So it's again listening and from that place of like, our passion and our desire that often gets cut off from shame and and movement really stirs that up, we're moving our hips, we're moving our shoulders, we're again. It's not from the head but it's from the body. And then, as we get into that wisdom, awa is, what small action can we take in alignment with that, whatever that might be?
Speaker 2:I was sharing through the other day. One of my clients really wanted to get pregnant and share with her partner. I want to have a baby. Oh my goodness, to get pregnant and share with her partner. I want to have a baby, oh my goodness. So then I take action. We get some feedback. Oh, did that work? That didn't work. So it's gaining more knowledge. What is it that knowledge that we gain from that? And maybe there's a skill that we want to transform or get better at. So if I'm wanting to sing and I'm doing karaoke or whatever I might, oh, I'm going to take a singing class, or what is that? What is it that we got even more insight from? And then that's that next phase.
Speaker 2:And then the E A-W-A-K-E is how do we take this from just our own small world and really engage the world in a bigger way? How do we make more impact? I'm so passionate about that as an artist in the work bigger way. How do we make more impact? I'm so passionate about that as an artist in the work I do. How do we have impact? How are we making a difference in communities? How are we taking that, what we're changing in our own lives, but also bringing it out into the world? And then the N? A-w-a-k-e-n is here we are the power of now, like here we are, what has happened and now, what's next? How do we take that even further? How do we want to expand? What have we learned in that journey? And yeah, it's an amazing container. When I did it before, it was really powerful, so thank you for letting me share that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love the journey that you take them on and it's a six-week journey that you do.
Speaker 2:Actually originally it was six weeks, just to yeah, just to be clear, I'm expanding this to actually more over three months. So what we're going to do, yeah, so I want to give people a little bit more time. So the first two weeks we do the embodiment work AW and then I'm going to do I also have worked for years as a life coach, facilitating one on one book groups. So I'm going to have some laser coaching so we can have some more support in real time what's coming up. And then we have a week of integration and then we go back. So we've got a little bit more time in this. So it's nine full sessions, plus anyone that wants to sign up right away can get a private session. It's always great to get a one-on-one so you know what's happening with the person.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that, Pam. That's beautiful. When is your program kicking off?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're actually kicking off very shortly, as soon as like next week perhaps, so we're moving quick. Yeah, we had some people who were going to start a little earlier, but with travel and everything, and then I can have some people roll in if they're not available quite yet. But I'm doing my embodiment sessions, that if people want to check out. Oh, that's fantastic, yeah, wonderful. I'm so happy that you it, so that I could really be focusing on casting and I honestly produced. So you know, all encompassing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's all encompassing and with life and all the things that I do, and so I've been excited to get back to that and I've worked one on one. But there's laser. Coaching is so transformative, like you really move the needle with that, but then the community really makes you feel like we're all together, we're all supporting each other. This is a movement, not just me. I'm not alone. There's something magical to the community.
Speaker 2:And you realize too, as women, even different seasons of our lives, that there's so much common ground, yeah, and to be celebrated. I think that's. That was the other thing. I was privileged to do some amazing women's groups during the pandemic and I thought, wow, women celebrating other women is really beautiful.
Speaker 1:It is, and I don't. It didn't used to be like that.
Speaker 2:It used to be so competitive, I feel, but not anymore, not anymore, and I do think that's how we're going to transform our world is by that beautiful support. Like together we rise together.
Speaker 1:Yes, and we cheer each other on the 4-H quest. We have our text group where we just, you know, it's everything. Yeah, it is, it really is everything. Yeah, it's like you get to shine your light, I get to shine my light. The others do as well, and it's like you said, when we rise, we bring the rest with us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it gives each other courage. You're like, oh, maybe I can, oh, maybe I can Exactly yeah, me too, me too yeah. And we get excited.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it is exciting, yeah, I'm so thankful to have you in that. Okay, let's go on to the third part, which is the confidence quickfire round. So I'm going to ask questions. The first one is Pam how do you define confidence?
Speaker 2:Confidence is expansion, is getting outside yourself and really showing up in a big way for yourself and for others.
Speaker 2:I think that's great, showing up, right Showing up, just showing up. And some days, trust me, are harder. It's like I got out of bed, yay. Some days are hard and even the smallest thing I've shared before, I had anxiety driving the freeway. So if I get on the freeway I'm like, yay, I did it. Now, to some that doesn't mean confidence because that's nothing to them. So I think it's important to acknowledge like it's different for everyone. Going in the deep end or saying the thing that you didn't want to say, but like holding your ground and having a boundary, or. But confidence comes from doing those things and going, oh wow, I did that. Doing the show with my husband, I hadn't danced in years and by the fourth performance I was oh, I'm dancing again. That gave me confidence again. Or being on set again last week reminds me like, oh, I love this. It's been a minute Every time in that, when you do those things that you and what you love to do and then really show up for yourself in that way.
Speaker 1:Okay, the second question is what's one bold move you made before you felt ready? Wow, which one? I was like, how many.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably doing the show with my husband. That felt really big Doing it too. I was in a two-person show right before the pandemic and I was really nervous to accept the offer because I knew it was going to be a lot of work. And I remember a good friend who does a lot of theater it was premiere here Said it will change your life and it's the hardest thing you'll ever do and I'm so glad I did it. Yeah, my work grew and I was like, oh, if I can do this, I can do anything.
Speaker 1:How do you quiet your inner critic or how do you face your inner critic if you don't quiet them?
Speaker 2:For me it's a daily practice. I have a pretty loud critic. To be honest, she can be very mean. She's like right there, it's a daily practice and I really do work at it. It really is self-love and I really do work at it. It really is self-love, practicing self-love, and I have a meditation practice that I never go without. So that's how I do it. I have a self-love meditation every morning that I do and really honoring and being gentle with myself and, yeah, it shifts the energy for me. I also dance. I dance every morning in my garden. I move my body, I play music, I play your garden, yeah, yeah, we do backyard.
Speaker 1:I need a video of that. It's somewhere.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll do that. Do it tomorrow morning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, I do.
Speaker 2:I dance in my garden and I have a lot of positive, positive. I highly recommend guided meditations. That I do and that are. Some are just like affirmations. I'm like, yes, I've got this, and then I like move the energy with it. So I've shown that before. Like, for me, you've got to embody it. It is not enough just to sit there and be in your head. For me it's that. I can only say, and I witness it all the time working with people. It shifts everything, even this client. Yesterday she goes. I feel so much lighter today, oh my gosh, after the session I feel so good, I feel like things are possible. That's how we get to the other side. I call it getting to the other side.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, that's beautiful. Okay, what is one habit that's helped you build real confidence?
Speaker 2:Saying yes, saying yes more than no, yeah, and letting my true passion lead the way versus my fear, because if my fear led the way, I would probably not be continuing doing what I'm doing. But my passion is so much bigger, the fire is so much bigger. Thank goodness I'll still have the negative voices, but I'll say yes. And then, when I say yes, oh, this is what was I so afraid of. There was nothing to be afraid.
Speaker 1:How do you distinguish between the two? Is one like super mean versus the other one? Or how do you know the difference?
Speaker 2:Sometimes the fear is really tricky with me. It's really tricky and it shows up in ways that want to take me out and I'm like, oh, there she is again. She's afraid of something.
Speaker 1:Does she sound different?
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a lot of panic, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:And you can almost feel her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh yeah, panic, panic almost. Yeah, a lot of anxiety and panic. But I know my passion, my desire, so intimately that I know, when I lean into that, it's the healthier place. I do have to say, when the pandemic started, before it started, I had a lot of dreams and things that happened like a month before. People thought I was crazy and I was like I said no, this is real.
Speaker 2:And I remember a friend of mine saying this is the. I think this is going to be a time that your fear is going to be right. And I was right. People made fun of me. I was like I don't think this is good, we shouldn't be doing what we're doing. And then we went into lockdown. So I do think that there is something also about listening to our fear when we are in a place, or that voice that says something's not right here. I think that's important to acknowledge too. So I'm not going to ignore that. But there's the other kind, when I'm stretching and I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and there's this panicking oh no, something bad might happen or the other shoe might drop, or maybe you have a sore throat, you should stay home, and I'm familiar enough to go. Oh, that's the old stuff that's wanting to keep me safe. Yeah, to keep me stay home. Maybe you don't feel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then I go, I will always feel better.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that's a great thing to know. Oh, thank you for trying. Thank you for protecting me, but I'm going to take over.
Speaker 2:I know, have fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, that's great, okay. The last question is what is your favorite book or resource that changed how you think? I?
Speaker 2:would say, most recently, the four agreements. So good, it's a good one. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Be impeccable with your word. I always thought that meant to others, but it's also with yourself. How do you speak about yourself to yourself? Oh, yeah, yeah, and not making assumptions. Or take someone's having a bad day, and also doing your best. And your best is going to change every day. I'm not always perfect at it, but it's definitely a good for me. It's a good place to like spiritual realignment, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think like you're saying, like it's a daily habit that you incorporate Mindset is a daily habit. It's like brushing your teeth. Why wouldn't you clean your mind every day?
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, exactly. So many other books along the way, but that's more recent. I've revisited that book recently. I read it many years ago and then, yeah, actually working with that.
Speaker 1:I've had so much fun listening to your stories and thank you for taking me through an embodiment session. I felt like that was so helpful, and so I just got more of a picture of your work that you do and it was really beautiful, so thank you so much for that gift.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, it's so much more than that too, and with music it really yeah.
Speaker 1:Music just opens up your soul in that deeper way, so I can imagine yeah, how much that you know really takes you there. Yeah, all right. So, pam, if you wouldn't mind sharing where and how listeners can connect with you?
Speaker 2:Yes, Thank you, yeah, I would love. Please contact me, message me on Instagram or Facebook. All these will be in the show notes. Also, if you want to know more about my film because we are in post-production it is a movement you can go to my Alira platform, which is also Dancing Home the film. There's a campaign there and you can learn more about the project. Another way is if, as an actor, you can go to my IMDb page or Actors Access, again, all that will be in there.
Speaker 2:I'm always open to working on projects and collaborating with other artists. And then, of course, my dance your life with pam is my website for my embodiment practice. And then I am offering, complimentary for all your listeners, an embodimentiment session, a dance your life intro session, to see if it might be something you want to check out, just to have a real experience, and I have my Calendly link so you can sign up for that. And just to be clear, the work is all virtual. As I said earlier, I did them in person, but now I have I've had clients in London and Portland and New York, so you can be anywhere and they can do that. I think that covered all the bases.
Speaker 1:I think it's wonderful that you are offering so many lanes for people Like you. You mentioned creating the work was a gift when you performed with your husband on stage, and I feel like you're just continuing to give as an artist, and that is truly where and how we connect with each other. So thank you for sharing your gifts today. And thank you for sharing how people can stay in touch with you and connect with you.
Speaker 2:Yes, we do. I look forward to it. Thank you, nikki, this was magical.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you so much, tam. Thanks so much for listening to the Confident Shortcut. I hope today's episode woke something up in you, reminding you that your dream matters and you can start now. If this sparked something, share it with a friend who needs it too. And don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Nikki Sterner and join our Facebook community at the Confidence Shortcut. Ready to take the next step? Check out my free guide, the Confidence Kickstart, linked in the show notes. Keep showing up, keep taking action and remember the shortcut to confidence is courage.