The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner
The Confidence Shortcut is your permission slip to start before you’re ready. Hosted by actor, comedian & producer Niki Sterner, each episode is packed with honest conversations, mindset tools, and practical shortcuts to help you silence your inner critic, develop a growth mindset, and get unstuck.
Designed for high-achieving creatives, performers, visionaries, and entrepreneurs, this podcast helps you build the habit of courage in the face of fear—so you can finally share your voice with the world.
If you’ve ever wondered how to build confidence, overcome self-doubt, or stop overthinking and start taking action, this show is your weekly boost of momentum. Whether you’re battling imposter syndrome, stuck in perfectionism, or simply afraid to take the next step, you’ll leave each episode with real-life tools and the confidence to move forward—one bold (and sometimes messy) step at a time.
Be sure to rate, review, and subscribe to the show wherever you’re listening, and grab your free “Confidence Kickstart” in the show notes.
The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner
#19: Niki Sterner | Season 2 Premiere | Dream Bigger with the Dream Detective Method
Episode 19 is the PREMIERE of Season 2!!!
If you had all the confidence, time, energy, and money in the world, what would you be doing? When I asked 110 people this question, most gave surprisingly safe answers. They'd tucked away their wildest dreams just like I once did.
Remember when you were a child and dreamed without limits? Watching Julia Roberts made me want to be an actor. Seeing Paula Abdul sing and dance on MTV sparked my desire to perform. Witnessing Oprah's transformative conversations lit something up in my soul. But fear led me to hide these dreams for years, until a health crisis forced me to confront what I truly wanted.
Through retraining my brain from fear loops to growth loops, I discovered what I call the "Dream Detective" method. This powerful exercise helps you map the gap between your current reality and your desires across four key areas: health, relationships, career/creative expression, and fun/adventure. That gap isn't failure—it's your personal roadmap showing exactly where courage belongs in your life.
The most transformative insight I've gained? Confidence doesn't come first, courage does. We don't wait to feel ready before taking action—the action itself creates the confidence. This is the essence of the Confidence Shortcut that I teach my clients and live my life by. Whether you're pursuing creative dreams, building relationships, or seeking adventure, the principles remain the same: get specific about what you want, identify the gaps, and take courageous action every day.
Ready to become a Dream Detective in your own life? Grab paper and a pen, follow along with the exercise in this episode, and start mapping your path to the life you truly desire. And if you're ready for more, my book "The Confidence Shortcut" launches this December—sign up below to be first in line.
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Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast for ambitious creatives and entrepreneurs who are ready to stop overthinking, take bold action and finally step into the life they've been dreaming about. I'm your host, nikki Sterner, mom, actor, comedian and producer. After years of playing small and waiting to feel ready, I went on a courage quest and found a shortcut to confidence. Each week I'll bring you real stories, simple steps and conversations with experts in mindset courage and confidence, plus heart-to-hearts with fellow creatives who are turning their dreams into reality. It's time to get unstuck and start showing up. Let's dive in. So recently, I asked 110 people one simple question If you had all the confidence, time, energy and money in the world, what would you be doing? Most people didn't give me like a massive, fully lit up dream answer. They gave me safe answers, the same kind of bare bones dreams that I used to carry around, because I was too scared to actually say them out loud for fear of being judged for these wild, outlandish dreams, or I was asking too much of the world, or who was I to share these and claim these? I was a nobody no followers, nothing. I wasn't famous. But most people, like I said, didn't give me these well-thought-out dreams. They gave me safe answers, and as a kid, though, if you think back to when you were a kid dreams they gave me safe answers. And as a kid, though, if you think back to when you were a kid, we had huge dreams. We allowed ourselves to dream.
Speaker 1:So I remember in sixth grade, I watched Pretty Woman on screen, and that's when I realized I wanted to be an actor. I was watching Julia Roberts, and then I listened to Paula Abdul, and I watched her dance on MTV, and I was like, yes, I want to sing and dance like Paula Abdul. And then I got to see Oprah Winfrey having conversations that changed people's lives in those deep, transformational spaces. I realized I wanted to do that too, but I had no idea how to build those dreams into my reality. Like they were over here and I was over here. They were up here, I was down here, and because they felt so big and impossible, I was afraid of them. So I tucked them away for a very long time. I wandered around. I took pre-med in college, then I ended up with a business degree.
Speaker 1:I took one acting class in college and got scared because I was so nervous. I didn't know that nervous could also be excitement though. So I was like I labeled myself as like this isn't for me, this is too scary, and so I tucked it away. I tucked it away until it showed up again in my 30s, when I was depressed and I actually had a psychic party with my friends, my neighborhood friends, and we each had time with the psychic. I think I asked her something and she said, oh, could have been an actress. And I was like, oh no, don't bring that up again. I pushed that away a long time ago. I said no, I ran away from that. I avoided it at all costs. But that was a big wake up for me. It was like I was looking for answers outside of myself and the universe brought it back to me.
Speaker 1:So I started taking acting classes and was very scared in my acting classes, like my nerves, my heart was beating out of my chest. It was crazy. I started taking acting classes in South Florida and then nine months later we moved to Atlanta and I got myself an agent. I'm with the Line Stars agency in Atlanta here. I've been with them for like nine, ten years now. Love them. I started auditioning, booking a ton of commercials. I've booked more than 30 commercials. I've been on national ones like Edible Arrangements and Wayfair. I was on a Wayfair commercial that aired four years in a row. It was my really sweet dance moves Really cool one.
Speaker 1:I never really clarified what I wanted to do with the acting and so my dream was kind of murky. It was like, yes, I want to be an actress, but like why and doing what specifically, and what is the long-term vision of this? My new book, the Confidence Shortcut, is almost here and I want you to be among the first to know when it goes on sale. This isn't just a book, it's also a journal and a calendar that walks you through the exact process I used to go, from over-preparing and stuck in perfection to finding my voice and using it on stage, in relationships and in business. When you sign up, you'll get early access, updates, behind-the-scenes bonuses and first dibs when the book goes live in December. Don't wait. Sign up at the link in the show notes and be the first to know when the confident shortcut is available.
Speaker 1:Three years ago, I had a health crisis and I almost lost my dreams entirely. I had multiple chemical sensitivity where I was getting myself on sets and when I did I would get sick. I would get a headache, I would get brain fog, so I couldn't remember my lines. Chronic fatigue, immune system just falling apart. My brain was stuck in limbic system impairment and I didn't know that there was a way to retrain your brain, and so that is my. One of my hugest aha moments in life was knowing that I actually get to create a loop that my brain is in. Instead of a fear loop, my brain is now in a growth loop, and I was able to create that through consistent repetition habits, daily habits of training my brain. Just like you brush your teeth twice a day, I train my brain twice a day, in the morning and at night, to believe exactly what I want and know is true. In my life. It changed right away. It was almost instantaneously. That moment of almost losing my dreams forced me to get curious again, to become a dream detective in my own life. That's where everything began to change. So today I want you to become a dream detective too.
Speaker 1:I want you to grab a piece of paper right now and draw a cross through the middle. So you've split the page into four boxes. I want you to label them like this so top left is health, top right is relationships, bottom left is career and creative expression, and bottom right is fun and adventure. So again, top left health, top right relationships, bottom left career, creative expression, and bottom right is fun and adventure. Now, in each box, write two things. I want you to probably pause this podcast and write down what do I have currently for my health and what do I desire for my health. To give you an idea, here are some of the things that I had written down, and now I've been working on my building my dream for like three years almost now. So I have a lot of dreams. I've been putting the details in and that's what I'm asking you to start doing. So health, current reality.
Speaker 1:I did this back in July when I started teaching the Confident Shortcut. So the current reality at the time was that I was lifting three to four times a week and going for walks, but I was also staying up until 1 to 3 am. So I never felt fully rested. My voice was struggling from overuse, and what I wanted, my desired reality, was I wanted to have seven to eight hours of solid sleep. I just wanted to feel like I was getting sleep and to feel strong and energized every day. I wanted to train my voice properly with daily vocal exercise. The vocal cords are a muscle, so you train them. I purchased a program where I could do it in my car on the way to the gym. So it was like knocking two things out at once. I was habit stacking, I was driving to the gym to work out, to continue with the strength training, and I was doing the exercises in the car which I was going to be singing anyway. So why not train in a way that I wanted to do?
Speaker 1:And then, moving into relationships, my current reality, my family is supportive but I wasn't spending enough intentional time with them and in my romantic life we were more like roommates than partners, which frustrated my husband to no end. And the desired reality that I wanted was that I wanted more vulnerable conversations, I wanted adventures with my family and more play, more pleasure. I wanted to allow pleasure in and I wanted more connection in my marriage. We've definitely opened. I've opened up more. My husband has been wanting more connection. I actually sang to him. It's funny, the vocal stuff and then the vulnerability, so it all kind of merged into one a couple of weeks ago. I've been working on singing as well, and so I asked him to come up into my studio and I held his hand as I was singing a song and I broke down crying in the middle of the song because it was such a vulnerable moment where I felt so cracked wide open. And it actually healed me because the next day when I went to sing another song, I had no issue. It was like I had completely healed that part of my heart which was wild. I did not expect that.
Speaker 1:Okay, career, creative expression. So current reality. I was on an improv and sketch team giving tours on the funny bus. I still am doing both of those things, which I love. I'm also writing my book and auditioning a lot too.
Speaker 1:So, desired reality I want to deliver a TEDx talk. I want to be on stage speaking. I want to perform a one woman show. I want to create characters for stage and screen and lead programs that help others step into courage. My dream is to be more comfortable on stage than off stage. So what have I been doing? I've continued to perform the improv and sketch team in the funny bus. I'm working on my book and I just performed at In my Shoes, which is a storytelling event where I got to write a TEDx type of talk and perform it for the first time on stage, which was very exciting. I'm also signed up to attend the TED Next event in Atlanta in November, and so I'm putting things on the calendar that are setting me up for success, because I know what I want to do, I know my desire, and the last category is fun and adventure. So my current reality most of my fun was tied to my career shows, rehearsals, performing, and not much outside of that.
Speaker 1:My desired reality I want to explore Georgia. Georgia is so beautiful. I see people posting pictures all the time of like. I hiked to this waterfall, I went to a concert, I just tried out this new restaurant. I want to travel again. I know that right now I'm like in this grind place, which I'm loving. I enjoy it so much. The work of like creating it's like. I'm birthing the confidence shortcut right now, which is super exciting, and sharing it with people in the program. I've got 35 people in the program and it's absolutely incredible and they're teaching me how to teach and it's been transformational in my life. So I know that this is just a season I'm in right now and I'm going to be on stage next year a lot, and I know that being a dream detective is writing it down, and it's really important to just be specific, like what is it that you want to do and where do you want to go and who do you want to do it with?
Speaker 1:Like, I want to be at the beach, I want to be near the ocean. I crave the sense of adventure and freedom that I had a year ago when I was on the courage quest, so I want more of that in my life, and I know that that's what being a dream detective is all about Looking at what you want versus what you have and noticing the gap. The gap isn't failure, it's a roadmap. It shows you exactly where courage belongs. So I want you to reflect. It's your turn. Be honest about your current reality in each of the four boxes and then, after you've written that down, where do you want to let yourself dream into what you really desire, even if it feels scary or too big. Like, what do you actually want to have in your life? What would make you happy to have in your life? What would make you happy? And then you'll probably want to pause this and come back to it after you've written that down and then reflect on which of these four areas feels most alive for me right now and what do I truly desire there? And that's where you want to focus right now. It might be one area, it might be two.
Speaker 1:My book, the Confidence Shortcut, is almost here. Want to be first in line when it goes on sale in December? Sign up at the link in the show notes to get early access bonuses and launch day alerts. Don't wait. Be the first to know Courage on purpose every day. Oprah says people get to where they want to go because they know where they want to go, and that's what we're doing. Being a dream detective is how you begin to know. So if you want to be among the first to know when my book, the Confidence Shortcut, comes out it'll be available this December. You can sign up at the link in my show notes when this podcast drops.
Speaker 1:And remember, don't stay stuck. Like. Confidence doesn't come first, courage does. So that's what we train in the confidence shortcut Courage on purpose every day. Okay, I'll see you next week. Thanks so much for listening to the confidence shortcut. I hope today's episode woke something up in you, reminding you that your dream matters and you can start now. If this sparked something. Share it with a friend who needs it too. And don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Nikki Sterner and join our Facebook community at the Confidence Shortcut. Ready to take the next step? Check out my free guide, the Confidence Kickstart, linked in the show notes. Keep showing up, keep taking action and remember the shortcut to confidence is courage.