#25: Natalie Neckyfarow | The Embodied Way | Healing, Intuition & Feeling Safe To Be Seen

What if confidence isn't something you build by pushing harder—but by healing old wounds, trusting your intuition, and learning to feel safe being fully seen?

In this week's episode of The Confidence Shortcut, I sit down with embodiment coach, actress, writer, and producer Natalie Neckyfarow to explore how reconnecting with your body can transform every area of your life.

After years of feeling stuck, anxious, and disconnected from her own truth, Natalie discovered embodiment work while searching for healing. What began as a personal journey led her to develop The Embodied Way, a framework that helps creatives release old patterns, reconnect with their intuition, and take aligned action from a place of trust rather than force.

Natalie shares her deeply personal story of navigating divorce, people-pleasing, belonging wounds, creative expansion, and learning how to stop chasing validation and start listening to herself. We also dive into practical tools you can use today to regulate your nervous system, release resistance, and create more space to receive the opportunities, relationships, and experiences you truly desire.

Natalie has been featured in Backstage, raised more than $10,000 for her short film The Spark, received a Seed&Spark Patron Circle Grant from filmmaker Jason Reitman, and now helps creatives embody greater confidence, visibility, and trust in themselves.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why confidence comes from being fully connected to who you are
• How people-pleasing and belonging wounds keep us disconnected from ourselves
• The difference between resistance and intuition
• Why pushing harder isn't always the answer
• The six stages of The Embodied Way Method
• How embodiment helped Natalie navigate divorce and major life transitions
• Daily grounding, releasing, and receiving practices anyone can use
• Her "Stop, Drop & Roll" technique for moving through resistance in real time
• How she manifested a Seed&Spark Patron Circle Grant during her crowdfunding campaign
• Why receiving can be harder than taking action—and how to open yourself to both

To learn more about Natalie + download her free Embodied Shift practices.

Check out her website: https://theembodiedwaycoach.com/

Follow Natalie on Instagram: @theembodiedwaycoach

Subscribe to Natalie's Substack: https://theembodiedway.substack.com/

New episodes every week — packed with honest conversations, mindset tools, and real-life shortcuts to help you move before you feel ready, build confidence through action, and create your Bigger Life.

📌 Subscribe + share if you're ready to stop overthinking and finally move forward messy.

💛 For weekly inspiration, podcast updates, book launch news, 50-State Courage Tour adventures, and practical tools to help you move before you feel ready, join the Move Forward Messy Newsletter.

✨ Grab your free Confidence Kickstart Guide.

Transcript

Welcome To The Confidence Shortcut

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast for ambitious creatives and entrepreneurs who are ready to stop overthinking, take bold action, and finally step into the life they've been dreaming about. I'm your host, Nikki Stirner, mom, actor, comedian, and producer. After years of playing small and waiting to feel ready, I went on a courage quest and found a shortcut to confidence. Each week, I'll bring you real stories, simple steps, and conversations with experts in mindset, courage, and confidence. Plus, heart to hearts with fellow creatives who are turning their dreams into reality. It's time to get unstuck and start showing up. Let's dive in. Welcome

Meet Natalie And Her Work

SPEAKER_01 0:42

to the confidence shortcut. I'm your host, Nikki Stirner. Today's guest is Natalie Nekifarrow. Natalie is an embodiment coach who helps creative souls get grounded, heal old wounds, and manifest the life they actually want to be living. She's also an actress, writer, and producer. And like so many artists, she didn't find embodiment work because everything was going great. She found it because she was feeling stuck. And while training as a life coach and energy worker, Natalie began using embodiment practices to heal lifelong patterns of overwork and overwhelm, soul relatable. She also rewrote deep beliefs around lack and unworthiness and even addressed an autoimmune condition. That inner work didn't just change how she felt, it transformed what she became in her career and what became possible. Natalie raised over $10,000 for her short film, The Spark, now in post-production, received a Seed and Spark patron circle grant from Jason Reitman, attracted new representation, and made the move to Los Angeles. She's the founder of The Embodied Actor, has been featured in backstage and has shared her work on podcasts like Film Broadshi, The Sacred Boardroom, and Playful Spirituality. Through her signature method, The Embodied Way, Natalie has helped clients experience real, tangible shifts. More auditions, callbacks, bookings, growing their businesses, raising money for their own projects, and most importantly, embodying deep trust in themselves and the universe. This conversation is for anyone who's done all the right things, but still feels disconnected from their body, their intuition, or their creative power and is ready to come home to themselves. I

Creativity Through Tantra And Presence

SPEAKER_01 2:29

am so excited to have you on the podcast today, Natalie. Ooh, this is going to be a juicy conversation. Thank you for being here today.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Thank you, Nikki.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

I would love to get started. Just if you would tell us like what the highlights have been of like your career. You've done so many cool things. You're in magazines, you're coaching people. Like, what is it that you're passionate about right now? And yeah, just tell me more.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Yeah, I mean, that's such a hard question to answer because I'm passionate about so many things. Um, but you know, we you mentioned my film, and the film is something that I wrote. Um, I started writing it towards the end of 2022 into 2023. And I was going through divorce at the time, and I was reconnecting with my own um my own body, my own sexuality and pleasure. And so that's been like a weird, unexpected turn in my life. Um, I started exploring Tantra, which is like a little bit of a side thing, but what's that? Oh, Tantra is um it's an old, uh, it's an old um sort of uh spiritual practice uh that evolved in primarily India, but also parts of Africa, like in like thousands of years ago. And the root of this of the practice is about the union of feminine and masculine. Um, and there are sexual elements of it, which is what most of us know about in the um Western world. But what I what connected me or drew me to it is that it's really about um connecting more with being present in every part of your life. And um, I started exploring tantra as I was writing my film and about being more present so that you can be with your feelings, your sensations. And it actually helps you um, you know, achieve enlightenment. Sounds a little bit woo, but but uh, but you know, connect to spirit, connect to spirit in like a really deep and kind of powerful and magical way. Um, so I went down this like path as I started writing my film, and I'm also now writing a feature that's sort of a jumping off point from that. So that is, I think, what I'm most passionate right now in this moment. Um, but you know, I I I'm passionate about everything that I do because I think that what I've learned is um I in human design, I'm a generator. And if you're also a generator, um what lights you up, what gives you joy is also what attracts your, your, your gifts, your wonderful power, your um, your success. And if you work from a place of joy, you're gonna magnetize that to you. And if you are working against that joy, then you're gonna like have a really, really frustrating journey. So um, so I I try to do very few things that I don't enjoy. And if there's anything I have to do that that isn't the thing that lights me up 100%, I definitely find a way to make it more joyful and or make it sounds like a little crazy, but like, but just just to like really be in that space of, you know, what is it about this thing that I can bring more joy to so that I can live in that space of joy more frequently and um use that magnetic pulse that lives within how I how I'm designed and how I work. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Yeah, I wanted to go back to you mentioned you're writing a feature film. Is that tied directly to your short film or is it completely separate?

SPEAKER_00 6:07

It is and it isn't. Um like, do I want to tell the spoiler? No, not yet. Okay. Oh god.

Divorce And Reclaiming Personal Truth

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Yeah, I was like, what? Yeah. So I I I really want, I really wanted to talk about because when I went through my divorce, um, on paper, everything about my marriage was fine, right? There was there was no infidelity, there was no um, there was, you know, we were really good friends. Um, we probably could have continued being married for another 10, 20, 30 years and been friends. But I wanted more what we wanted individually shifted. I wouldn't be in LA right now if I hadn't um, if I was still married, my my ex just didn't want to move here, you know. And there were aspects. Um, I was living in New York City at the time. Um okay. Yeah, and they're just there were just aspects of of my own personal expression that had been squashed. And it wasn't that my ex-husband was trying to control me. It was just that my prior conditioning, the way that I was brought up, you know, very much, you know, a lot of people please our tendency. I was in a pattern where I was letting myself be small to try to preserve this relationship when it was really time that I had outgrown it. It was time to move on. And so the feature is really about further exploring, you know, that transition. You know, how do you move from being in a marriage to being single again? What is that like? Um, how do you, you know, how do you reconnect to pleasure when you feel disconnected from it? Um, and and and how do you learn to live in a really, really embodied way? Because it's like my work as an embodiment coach is actually really like deeply connected to my work as a creative artist. And almost everything I've written as a creative artist has been intimately connected to this like embodiment journey. So it's like, how do we actually live into the truth of who we are? And the truth of who we who we are actually begins in our bodies. Um and we're so conditioned to, you know, the success and the and the um, you know, the the validation and the oh, here's this award and here's this thing, and here's the the other thing. If we start to chase that and we get disconnected from from who we are and our presence, um then it actually becomes harder to attract what we want rather than easier. So so it's really my mission to help uh people, women especially, um, learn how to live in themselves and connect to that truth.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Wow. That's really powerful. I mean, so much of what you said, uh, I think your whole story is brilliant and bringing it to the big screen. Um, because so many people have gone through divorce, and it is that uh your story, they will your story will mirror back to them what they are experiencing, you know, as they as they venture through this um enlightenment or whatever you want to call it, uh figuring out who they are and that they have outgrown this relationship. I mean, marriage is not easy, and I think that people do grow and shift and change, and so many people do outgrow relationships, and it's great that you're bringing it to light, you know, that it's okay to be truthful in in what you're experiencing. And and it sounds like that comes back to the embodiment work that you've figured out and and learned along the way. So

How Embodiment Coaching Began

SPEAKER_01 9:27

did is this what brought you into embody work embodiment work? Was this no?

SPEAKER_00 9:32

I would say like the the piece around uh the film came afterwards. And the piece around the recognition that I had outgrown my marriage came from the embodiment work. And and so, you know, um in in 2020, you know, I'd gone through a long period of time of feeling frustrated and stuck as an artist, and I think many of us do. Um, but in 2020, you know, the world shut down, and I had a real like heart to heart with myself. And I was like, okay, I have a day job. I'm managing, was managing a Pilates studio at the time, and the job was fine, but I had already been planning my escape route from it because I didn't want to do it forever. And then the world shut down and I was still working because I was the manager. So, like a lot of other people who were working for me were no longer working, but I was working. It was like kind of my full-time thing and it was very stressful. And I really wanted to figure out like what was gonna be next. I wanted to find the thing that um was gonna be fulfilling and great. And I had some ideas, you know, I was like, oh, maybe I'll like go into copywriting because, you know, it's like as an artist, some artists are are like, okay, I immediately make money for my art, and that's the thing. My journey has been more like, okay, I'm not making money for my art yet. What next? I'm not making money for my art. When? And I do feel that's by design, because I do feel like the healing work that I've had to do to succeed as an artist um is also making me a better artist. Um, and I could go like down a huge rabbit hole with that, but I don't want to get too lost. So I um I decided to look into life coaching programs and I stumbled into this program with my mentor, Janine Yoder. And um, when I did it, I I honestly wasn't planning to be a life coach. I honestly just thought, okay, I need to do some work on myself because here I am. I went had just completed uh a two and a half year conservatory program at Atlantic. And I was like, okay, I'm better trained as an actor than I have been in my entire life. Prior to that, I was a dancer. So I had sort of, you know, taken lots of classes, but picked it up a little bit at a time. And I was like, I'm still really anxious and nervous. And when I walk into an audition room, I don't do the work that I know I'm capable of doing. And I don't know why that is. And it's really devastating and heartbreaking. And I felt like I was always letting myself down. So I was just, I was just wanting to heal. I really just was wanting to heal. And um, and I felt like this space somehow I had a gut feeling. I was like, this space is gonna help me heal. And you know, I learned all traditional sort of masculine energy-oriented life coaching techniques. And when I say masculine-oriented techniques, I'm just talking about um, I'm talking about sort of that do make things happen, the Nike just do it, the Tony Robbins, like motivation, you know, push through it, willpower style of coaching. And in this program, I was introduced to feminine energy styles of coaching, which was life-changing because it wasn't about pushing. That was like, that's the number one takeaway. It wasn't about pushing. It was like, who am I? Can I let myself be? Can I be honest about what's going on with me? Can I let myself feel my feelings? Um, which, you know, I was, I was good at and also not good at. Like I think that I'm a I'm a I'm a deeply empathic person. Um, I didn't grow up with this label um highly sensitive person, but I would definitely define myself as one. And when I was growing up, I was too sensitive. I had too many feelings. So I learned to push them down. And then when I started acting, I would let the bottle, I let the lid off the bottle and let the emotions come out. And then it was overwhelming and my nervous system got scared and shut back down again. So it was like bottle, top off, top off, top back on, top off, top back on. And and it got to this place where I really felt like I couldn't do my work as an artist and it was really scary. So, so this work helps me make peace with myself. It helped me own myself because I was being witnessed by other women who were holding space. And it wasn't about doing something right or wrong. It wasn't about achieving anything. It was about just letting myself be witnessed and heard and moving through it, however that might show up.

Sister Circles And Safe Witnessing

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Wow. Were you in like circles of women who were doing this together?

SPEAKER_00 14:16

I I was. So the program was structured. We had we had a certain curriculum and we would meet as a group, a big group, you know, for these more uh sort of curriculum-oriented calls. And but then we had a smaller group of sister circle, we call them sister circles. We had a smaller group, and we would show up every week. And it was, you know, it was very loose, it was non-hierarchical. So we would show up, you know, someone would be the timekeeper. We'd be like, okay, there are four people here, we have an hour, everyone gets 25 minutes. And literally, when it was your turn, you just start talking about whatever you wanted to talk about. Um, and then it was up to you whether you wanted feedback or not. And um, so you know, sometimes it was like, I just really just need to speak and I don't want any reflections at all. I just want to talk. Sometimes it was like, oh, I'm open to reflections, which is literally just someone saying back to you, oh, um, you know, Nikki, I hear that you said this, this, and this. Um, you know, just celebrating you for expressing yourself. That and that was that was it. And that was it, right? Um, and then, you know, if we were looking for help or support, we would specify, oh, I'm looking for support with this. And it just created a space where I felt really safe to be seen for the first time. And that was a huge part of my growth. And, you know, we we we coached each other as well within the program. That was part of the work. And um, but yeah, it was being able to be seen for who I was without any pressure to be performing, right?

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

Yeah.

Belonging Wounds And Lifelong Healing

SPEAKER_01 15:54

I'm wondering, um, just as someone who lived with the belief of silence equals safety because of something that happened when I was younger for so long, did you have a belief that was similar to or something like that that made you feel unsafe to be seen? Do you remember?

SPEAKER_00 16:10

I have a very deep um wounding around belonging.

unknown 16:14

Belonging.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

And I don't think it was rooted in my childhood. I really believe in past lives. Whether you believe in past lives or not, it almost doesn't matter. But I think there's like a certain kind of conditioning that um the best I can understand is like I came into the world with it. It wasn't something that came in. It didn't, it is not something that came from my upbringing. Yeah. And because of this um wounding around belonging, I would shift and morph and change to be the person I felt, perceived that other people thought I thought they wanted me to be. Which is incredibly painful because that means you're actually never showing up as yourself. And that means there's different versions of yourself. There's the version of yourself that you are with your parents, and then there's this version that you are with your best friend, and there's the version with the like girls who are popular at school who you want to be liked by. And then there's the version of, you know, the person you want to be because you have a boyfriend that you think likes you and you want him to like you back. And there's everything around that. Um, so um, so I guess the deep-rooted belief under that is if I don't behave the way other people want me to behave, I will not be loved.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Yeah. Okay. That yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

And so the healing is I am worthy to be loved exactly as I am. And that's something I'm gonna be working on the rest of my life. Because the healing process isn't one and done, but the we go in circles, we go in cycles. And each time we're going, we're moving kind of like up a spiral staircase. And you'll reach that next next level of success, whatever that means for you. And as you're rounding that corner and getting closer to what you want, all of your old wounding is gonna come up. And you're, you know, if you do the work and you're self-aware, you'll be like, oh, that thing, it's coming up for me again. And oh, I knew where this is coming from. And become it becomes a little less jagged and sharp. And you it becomes a little easier to work with and release and let it go, but you're gonna have to keep working with it and releasing it all the way up the chain. Um, and you'll be working on it probably until the day you die. I don't know that for sure. I'll tell you after I've after I've ascended in the next slide. But um, but it but it is, it is, and I think that was like something I really had to overcome. Um, because the way I saw the world was like, well, the people who are successful are the people who I've already healed. And so I really thought I was trying to fix myself and that there was going to be a certain moment where I was gonna be fixed. And then when I was fixed, then everything was gonna magically work, but that it's actually not how it is. And, you know, the work that I've done for myself and the work that I do with my clients is to help them learn how to navigate this process that we're always gonna be at, which is you know, we grow, we get triggered, we work on releasing the trigger, we grow. And it's just something that we have to keep moving through. And if you don't keep moving through it, if you're afraid to feel the feelings, if you're afraid to work on the hard stuff, you will stay stuck. And that's not meant to like scare you or scare anyone who's listening to the podcast right now, but like that's just to let you know that um, you know, we don't have to work on the hard stuff all the time. In fact, you shouldn't. That all in and of itself is very harmful to our nervous system to feel like we're always forcing ourselves to grow and work at the edge of our comfort zone. But it is part of the process. And the reason you haven't yet attracted the life that you want is because there's still things you need to heal and patterns you need to shift in order to be able to receive it.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

And how do you help um your clients with the embodiment method? If you could

The Embodied Way Method Explained

SPEAKER_01 20:32

take us through what that uh looks and feels like.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Yeah, sure. So um, so what I do with people first is I help them find inner balance. And what I really am talking about with balance is about coming to a place of feeling centered within ourselves so that we can make decisions that are from our intuition and from a place of the nervous system being in a parasympathetic state. Your nervous system has two states. Sympathetic is like, you know, fight or flight. It doesn't have to be like the biggest fight or flight on the planet for you to be in fight or flight. Parasympathetic is when your nervous system is resting. And for all intent, I don't like to use the word calm because our nervous system isn't necessarily meant for us to be calm all the time, but it's the place where our nervous system is available and able to be responsive. And we can we can have a tr uh a stimulus or a trigger happen and move through it rather than having it send us into fight, flight, freeze or fall. There are other responses too, like the the science around this is quite um advanced. Um, so what I do with people through um initially is help them find balance. So we look at, you know, your physical, mental, emotional, energetic, and spiritual states. And we look at, you know, where are you in balance and where are you out of balance? You know, where You putting a lot of energy and time, where are you not? You know, if you're chronic, if you're an over-exerciser, then maybe we have to dial that back. Or if you are feeling uh extremely emotional all the time, then we have to figure out how to help your emotions move through you and release so that you don't feel stuck in that emotional response pattern. Or um, or if you don't have any spiritual practice at all. And I'm not talking about religion. I was brought up Catholic, but I am not a practicing Catholic. And you do not have to do my, you know, believe in um any particular uh universal power for this to work. But spiritual is really about connecting to the truth that there is more out there than just you. So we what we look at, okay, where are we out of balance? And I have a very deep questionnaire that I take my clients through to help them recognize that. And then we start to bring in embodiment practices that I help them design. Um, and this is where the work, a lot of the work happens. It's in a day-to-day um practice so that we're learnt, we're teaching the inner boss system to find center, to find that parasympathetic state over and over and over again. And um, as we do that, old tension, trauma, um, uh stuck emotions, um, old beliefs start to wash away. We start to find the truth of who you are because we're not overburdened by all of this overwhelm that's kind of like gets stuck to you, right? Um, and then once we start that process, I encourage my clients to really work on expanding their dreams. So um, when we were kids, we had no problem dreaming, right? But over time, we get conditioned to, well, maybe you should be more realistic. Or um, why don't we set goals that you can actually achieve? And the truth is you can actually achieve anything that you can believe and that you're willing to do the healing work to help it arrive. Um, so we start to reconnect. What is the dream? And it's probably not the dream that you had when you were five years old. It might not be the dream you had last year, right? And what is that dream and how do we start to make that bigger? Um, and then we're like, okay, the dream is here, and this is where I am. So it's really important that we don't just get focused on the dream. We have to connect with what's true in this moment, um, your feelings about not having yet reached that dream, your feelings about uh the trait challenges and and things that have come up for you. So we work on really being like, okay, this is this is who I am, this is where I'm at right now, so that we have a really good gauge of like this is where I am and this is where I'm going. And then we start to work on releasing the blocks. What are the things standing in the in in the in the way? And this is where having a coach is really, really helpful because this can become a really heady process of like, well, I don't know, like I'm not making more money. So maybe I should do this. Maybe I need to like my, you know, maybe I need to like um get hyper focused on my budget. I need to track everything that's coming in. Or maybe it's like, oh, I'm not, I haven't yet, uh, I haven't yet been getting the kinds of auditions that I want. Oh, but maybe I should just go email every single casting director I've ever met. And then you become like this really, really intense person, right? And so we want to be like, okay, what is underneath that? What is the like the pattern, the pattern of pushing? How do we, what's underneath that pattern? What are the, what are the feelings that you're hiding from? What is the deep core wound? Is it, you know, fear of not being loved? Um, you know, is it something else? We get to the root of that. And that's where coach is really, really helpful so that we can stay out of the head and get in the body. And then one, once we, as we're doing this work, we start to take action that comes from our own intuition rather than this is the to-do list. These are the things that I should do. These are the things that um someone else, a coach, maybe, told me to do. Um, coaches are great and I have my own coaches, but I also filter everything that my coach recommends through my own body, through my own intuition. And I will point blank tell a coach, I'm like, that's cool that that's worked for, you know, most of your clients. That's not gonna work for me. How do we change this? Right. And so what I want is to help my clients do the same thing. It's like, um, you know, what is the thing that feels good? And this is super controversial. I was really listening to something yesterday, and and I was like, and there is a distinction between resistance and feeling good. And that's something that I try to help my clients figure out so that we're not like, oh, I'm not taking this action because it's because I because there's resistance. That's different than not taking an action because it doesn't feel good. And we're like figuring out the two things. And usually if you're experiencing resistance, which is different than something not feeling good, it's because there's a block there. Instead of just pushing through the block and forcing yourself to do it, we're gonna work on clearing block so that when you take the action, it actually does feel easy. Um, and then once we take action, this is sort of the last, I don't know, I don't like to call them steps, but the last part of the embodied way method, which is we work on opening up to receipt. And this is where we really work on that go-getter mentality, that feeling like I have to do more to get more. You absolutely have to take action to reach your goals. I'm not gonna ever tell you that you don't have to take action. But there comes a point where you're like, I did the thing. And literally, if you keep pushing, it's not gonna come. We have to create this feedback loop. For those of you out there who are actors, I know that Nikki's audience isn't entirely actors, but for those of you who are out there as actors, it's like what your acting coach tells you. If you are talking, you're you're speaking with your scene partner, but you're not taking in any of their reactions. It's a it's a feed forward loop. There's no feedback. And we need the feedback. The feedback is really important. You have to respond to what you're getting. And the only way to receive and get get the things that you're desiring is to pause and breathe and reconnect to your center and to let it come to you. And what comes to you might not be what you were hoping or expecting, but it will send you along your path to the next thing.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Yeah, that's so beautiful.

Opening Up To Receive Real Wins

SPEAKER_01 28:46

I was wondering um if you could share, you talk about opening up to receive. Like, what are some of the things, some some of the bigger things or smaller things that you have opened up to receive um that surprised you?

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Well, you know, I I talk about this patron circle grant that I received during my crowdfunding campaign. And honestly, it came out of thin air. Um, a friend of me told me about them while I was crowdfunding. I think I reached out to my um uh, I forget what they call it, but you have you have somebody that you worked with at Seed and Spark who helps you um set up your campaign and then sort of like usually the your main contact if you have questions and stuff along the way. So I'd reached out to her a couple of times and said, Hey, you know, I'd really love to be considered for this, for this grant. Um, but that's but really there's nothing else you can do to receive this grant other than you know put your campaign out there and just be available for it. And the last week of my campaign, it was it was a very hard challenging campaign because these campaigns are built for um people who have a lot of I don't know how to describe it, I would say I manifest slowly. And so things never come as quickly to me as they do for other people. And so it's very easy to get stuck in comparison mode. So the last week of my campaign, um, I was I was literally like just I was doing my embodiment practices. I was like, I feel that this money is coming towards me. I don't know how. Um, and I was doing that work every day. The last day of my campaign, I was, you know, I was sending my emails and I was, you know, sending text messages to people and whatnot. And I was like, I was like, I had I had a plan to like finish my campaign. Worst case scenario, because I was like, I need to move on and shoot this film. But I was like, I just feel like the money's gonna come. I don't know how it's just gonna come. So about an hour before my campaign was done, I got an alert that I had hit the green light. And I was like, how did I hit the green light? Because I was not close. Like it was like, it was like I was more than a thousand dollars off from this, um, from my green light. And so I was like, how is that possible? And then I got an email that I had gotten that this patron circle grant. So it literally came in at the 11th hour and I was like, okay, we hit it. And I literally gave me fuel. I think I had maybe, I think I said one hour, maybe it was two hours, but whatever. That last push, I had so much energy and resolve to like push, and I had even more money come in after that. And it was because I but I I really I knew all along, I was like, this is going to be a successful campaign. I am going to hit exceed the 80%. I don't know how it's going to happen, but I knew it was going to happen. And it did, and it came in. And um, and that was me just being like, okay, I'm taking the action, I'm doing my practices, I'm trusting this energy, I'm trusting the feeling that I have that it is this is meant to be, that this is gonna happen, that this is gonna come through. And then this grant came out of nowhere. And I'm a massive fan of Jason Jason Reitman. Um Juno is one of my favorite films of all time. So it wasn't, it was like it wasn't about the money, it was about it was about so much more than that. It was like such a massive gap. Um, yeah. So that's that's that's the thing I can think of the most because it was it was so dramatic because I had a deadline, right? There's other stuff that's come through um that surprised me, but I didn't have a deadline, you know. So um, but yeah, it's and you know, it's like I couldn't have anticipated that.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

No, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

It was like I just put stuff out and I was like, okay, it's gonna come back.

SPEAKER_01 33:07

I always wonder who wins those things, like, yeah, how that happens. But you actually took action, which I'm a huge fan of, and part of my process of the confidence shortcut is that third part is getting in action.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

Because like we can, yeah, you absolutely have to take action, but it's a fine line. And and most and most of the people that I work with are like no one would ever describe them as lazy. They're the hardest working people you'll ever meet. And the work that we actually do, and I hesitate to use the word work even, but the the process that we're that we're actually investing in is how do we actually disconnect from the idea that how hard we work creates the value and creates the um creates it coming back to us. It's the space, it's the space that exists between taking action and taking the next action that actually is where the results are having, the the uh the success comes in.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

Yeah.

Daily Tools For Grounding And Release

SPEAKER_01 34:10

I was curious, you talked about like how you were doing um the process every day. Like, what are some of the things, some of the tools that you utilize every day or the habits that you are in every single day?

SPEAKER_00 34:24

Well, my personal process shifts a lot. Um, because I've been doing this work for a long time, um, I go through periods where I'll do the same practice every day, but it always shows up in a different way. So um shortly after I trained with um Janine Yoder, I also got introduced to energy work. And um that process sort of forms the foundation of my personal daily practice. So um, you know, the you always begin energy work with grounding and centering. Um, and that process is about like connecting to the earth, um, connecting to the grounding energy of the earth. And um, and then I do this golden bubble practice where I'm actually um connecting and defining and setting the intention that my own energy field is distinct from others' energy fields, so that I am setting the intention that only energy that is in my highest good is going to come into energy field. I'm clearing my personal energy. So anything that I might have picked up along the day uh out throughout my day. When I was living in New York City and I was commuting on the subway all the time, that was a lot of energy. And even, and part of the reason I discovered my sensitivity was because during COVID, when everything was shut down and I wasn't going anywhere, I still was feeling so much energy all the time. And I was like, why am I so anxious? It was because I was picking up on this energy from other people. So part of the work I do is like, you know, clearing what I've picked up along the way, or clearing, you know, as we're evolving and changing, there are parts of ourselves that we uh no longer need old beliefs, old energy. And so we work on releasing and clearing that so that there's space for something new. So that's always part of my practice. Um, and then because I have this background in energy work, um, I'll sometimes ask my guides for guidance. Um I I usually have I usually um I usually do some form of gratitude where I'll write down what I'm grateful for, I'll write down some of the wins that I've had. Um, I reconnect with my intentions. My intentions are different than my action steps. So it's like the way I want to show up in the world. Um, and then if there's something that I've been working on, I will bring in uh universal healing energy to help release and shift. Um, so that's like that's my own personal practice, um, which is different than what I give to my clients because um I think I've worked with one or two clients who actually had their own energy work practice, but for the most part, the people that I work with um are either very new to energy work or they've never done energy work before. So um, so some of the practices that we do, um, I will, you know, I have I have three um practices that um I often start people with, not exclusively when I work with people one-on-one. Sometimes these these aren't the practices that people need, but these are the practices um that I make free and available on my website. Um, and the first one is a grounding in energetic boundaries meditation. So I will walk you through that, that, that first energy work practice um that I do for myself. And that's the beginning of everything. And that, and if you were to do nothing else every day, your life and your energy will shift just from doing that practice. And then I have two somatic healing practices, which are like movement practices uh that I share. One is about letting go and um it involves doing some movement to like physically release energy from your body. And I incorporate the use of speaking and mantras. So encourage you to like, you know, what do you need to let go of? Connecting to that. So, Nikki, what do you need to let go of right now? Right now, putting you on the spot.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

Um, I would say the expectation, like I've given myself deadlines for getting my book out into the world. And so it's just um the expectation of what needs to be in the book as far as resources, that kind of thing, um, is weighing on me right now. Uh present moment.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

So, so for you, Nikki, if you were doing this practice, you might say, I'm letting go of what my book needs to look like in its end product. That might be what how you choose to phrase it. I mean, I saw I walked, so you would you go through this practice and you could speak that out loud, or or I'm you know, letting go of perfectionism or letting go of the pressure that I'm putting on myself or whatever those might look like. Um, so we have that practice. And then um, and then the third practice that I share is a calling in practice, and this is where we practice that energy of being open to receive. So, you know, what is it that you want to draw into your life? And we practice being very centered and letting things come to you. So this is where we stop chasing things, stop pushing so hard, and we let the inspiration come to us. And so those three practices um are a good foundation for anyone who's doesn't have an embodiment practice, has never experienced embodiment before, um, to get started. And then from that place, there's so many other places we can go. And um, and you know, if you're interested in one-on-one work, I, you know, highly customize it and tailor it to you. I think it's very important that it doesn't feel like a chore because we all have very long to-do lists. And I know the biggest thing that stops someone from starting an embodiment practice is this feeling I don't have enough time. So sometimes with my clients, I literally, literally will give them an assignment. Their daily practice takes a minute a day, and we start from there. Because what's most important is that it feels doable and that you start to notice how it makes you feel differently because then you're motivated to do more. This is why energy work was I I've meditated for a long time, but energy work was so different for me because I felt so good after doing energy work that I was always excited to do it. I have to set a timer when I do energy work because otherwise I could sit there for two hours. Oh, yeah. Because it feels so good. And so that's what I want for every person who starts to experience this work, is that it feels good that it doesn't feel like a chore to do it. And so we start small and then we build from there. Um, if you were to do all three of these practices in my um in my in my free offering um in body shift, they would take you about 15 to 20 minutes a day, but you don't have to do all three of them a day. You could do one every day. Um, and um, it's a good place to get started, to start to feel more centered, start and be more connected to your own intuition, to start to be more present um and start to really feel about, feel who you are, and and let that be separate from your feelings and what you're taking in from the world around you.

SPEAKER_01 41:36

So it's almost like in the moment when you're actually trying to for me, like write these resources out, right? It would be stopping listening to this grounding meditation and then walking around the house and saying, like, I'm releasing perfection and shaking it out of your body.

SPEAKER_02 41:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:55

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:56

And then calling in as you're walking in your body. Is that the embodiment practice? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:01

I mean, I usually I usually don't have people walk around while they're doing it, but like I think that it would I think it would work for the letting go practice perhaps. Um for calling in, I actually very intentionally ask people to stand very still.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

Oh, okay. And then you speak and you say, I'm you speak, yeah, I'm calling in.

SPEAKER_00 42:19

I'm calling in. Yeah. Okay. Oh that. Yeah. Yeah. It's a simple practice. Yeah. So um, and I and the way you described it of like you using the practices when you're feeling stuck is beautiful.

Stop Drop And Roll For Resistance

SPEAKER_00 42:31

Cause I often talk about um, you know, I I I believe in a daily practice, and the best time to do a daily practice is in the morning. But if it doesn't work for you, you can do your daily practice at night. But then the other thing that I teach people to do is uh stop, drop and roll practice. So, you know, if you were on fire and you're told as a kid, you know, stop, drop and roll, like to put the fire out, right? So if you're feeling anxious, you're feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling resistance. You can feel yourself being in your head or what in a pattern that you know is not helpful to the work that you want to do. You know, you do a stop, drop, and roll practice. That could be the letting go, that could be the calling in. You don't have to do all of them. Take a minute, take a minute to do something and then go back to it and notice the shift that you've and how it feels different. And you could do it, you know, you could do your stop, drop, and roll practice, you know, every 10 or 15 minutes if you had to, right? And then when as you do that, you start to train your body to work from a place of feeling good and feeling powerful and feeling empowered versus feeling less than, feeling like you're not doing enough or feeling like you're not meeting your own expectation. And then we and that's really hard, right? I think a lot of us learn to motivate ourselves from a place of, you know, what of negativity, of shame. And so this is about relearning how to um motivate yourself from a feeling from things feeling good and positive. energizing and exciting and joyful.

SPEAKER_02 44:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:04

I think that's so I really love the stop, drop and roll part of what you said today. But I think I'm going to take that um with me as I continue to work on projects because I will I feel like something is the the resistance will pop up like it does for every creative. Yeah. You know, and it's like um in that moment, rather than go and uh clean the pantry or organize your closet or, you know, like do whatever distracting thing. Like stop, listen to the, you know, the guided audio um and then uh let go of whatever it is because you know what it is and turn you know intuitively you know what this is. You're acknowledging it already if you stop and then call in you know what it is that you need. I like I like the instant part of that rather than feeling like you have to do it in the morning or at night. Like do it now and if you have to do it multiple times like if you if your protector side of you tries to pull you away again like an hour later it's like nope I can come right back to this. I think that's so valuable what you shared. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

Yeah. And the longer you do these practices the longer they last. But you know my my teacher Kara um she would say you know when you first start doing these practices, you know, they might last for half an hour or an hour. But then over time they last longer and longer because it becomes it starts to become the new normal in your nervous system. And that and then your b and your body likes it and it wants that versus being conditioned to feeling the anxiety. Like there's a certain part of us that feels safe with that first because that's what we're used to or that's what we're you know it's hard as creatives because um you know a lot of times we learn to motivate ourselves from stress you know and we don't have to you know and it that can be a scary shift to make because like well if I let go of stress am I going to still be able to connect emotionally with this role the answer is yes but it's a process right and so some of it feels like you're moving backwards to move forwards. But when you move forward it actually is faster and feels better and feels easier for that one JC.

SPEAKER_01 46:06

Yeah that's so good. Okay I want to um before we get into the confidence quickfire round I just wanted to summarize what you um talked about with the embodiment that you teach. So the the um you started out with the first part was finding inner balance getting in balance realigning rebalancing coming back to yourself and then the second part was expanding your dreams like what is the big dream that you used to think it might not be what you thought of as a child or it might not be what you thought of a year ago but what is the current big dream expand it um connect with it and then the third part was you said accepting what is so that we can make peace with everything and not like judging it or you know anything just accepting it. And then the fourth part was releasing your blocks uh what are the blocks so you have to know what they are before you can clear them. So basically acknowledging what are they so that we can move uh past them or with them or clear them in whatever method that looks like. And then the fifth part was taking embodied action. So um let's see what did you say about that? Opening up oh and then the the last part was opening up to receive but taking embodied action that's just um intuitively knowing what's yeah yeah that's taking action from your own intuition and own inner guidance.

SPEAKER_00 47:26

Okay. Um and take knowing knowing when you feel embodied is the first step to that which is why we go through all of these other places first. But being like, okay, am I embodied right now? Okay I'm not embodied. Well let me get embodied and then you make the decision about what's next and what you take do from there. And if you're feeling resistance like we were just talking about it's like you know making the choice to um get back to feeling embodied through that mini stop drop and roll practice before you take the action because the action is going to be more powerful when you're in alignment.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

I imagine it the action is uh well it'll be I don't want to say quicker but more like with ease because the resistance is gone because you yeah yeah yeah yeah that's so good. And then yeah the the sixth part was opening up to receive yeah calling in and being open to it. Cause yeah a lot of times I remember when I first realized that I wasn't open to receive it was like I I I think I said like and I receive it all and I felt like this almost like hole like no you don't I had to like really work through that like being open to receiving everything that was coming my way because you feel like for so long you've had to like work for everything. Yeah I have to be in charge I have to do the steps instead of just being like open like the universe bringing it to you like you're saying yeah so beautiful beautiful and I love the the three tools that you shared as well. Yeah.

Nikki’s Book And Courage Tour

SPEAKER_01 48:51

All right before we get back to today's episode I wanted to share something exciting. For the past year and a half I've been working on a book called Move Forward Messi the confidence shortcut for your bigger life it's built around a simple idea confidence doesn't come first action does. The book is designed to help you stop waiting to feel ready, uncover what you truly want and start building your bigger life through tiny brave steps. Along with the book I've also created a guided journal and a blueprint both designed to help you turn your dreams into action and we're officially in launch season the book will be available on Amazon this June. I'm also hitting the road on the 50 state Move Forward Messi Courage tour bringing this message to communities across the country to stay up to date on the book launch the tour and everything happening next check out the links in the show notes and now let's get back to the episode okay we are moving into the confidence quick amazing here we go okay I'm dying to know how do you define confidence Natalie yeah so for me confidence is about feeling completely connected to who you are and moving from that place when you're alone and when you're with other people.

Confidence Quickfire And Bold Moves

SPEAKER_00 50:20

Oh yeah yeah especially when you're with people right yeah that's the that's usually the harder part for most people um but but I think it's important to it we have that's why we work with ourselves first, right? So that we can feel like you know what is the truth of who I am so that when we are around other people we can notice that that shift and that that's the work that we that that's the work that we do. Is is work on creating uh creating that foundation and then being able to carry that foundation out into the world. You know, first it's with your best friend and then it's with your your partner, the person you're closest to in the world and then it's with people that you're not as close to and then you keep expanding the circle out from there so that maybe you know maybe you're going to be on stage in front of a thousand people and you want to be totally confident there and that you bring it out to that space. Or you know or maybe it's on the big screen that's going to be you know watched by millions of people or whatever it is. And so letting that letting letting you start from here so that the more the bigger stage you are on physically or or metaphorically you're have that ability to still be fully grounded in truth.

SPEAKER_01 51:32

Yeah being visible as your full truth. Yeah yeah yeah beautiful okay the second question is what's one bold move that you made before you felt ready I mean I do this all the time at this point it's every day I mean I think it's interesting because I think my move to LA was a little bit like that.

SPEAKER_00 51:55

Um I definitely had the things that I wanted in place before I moved like representation was high on that list. Um you know feeling like um feeling like I had a little bit of community was high on that list. I took three trips to out to LA last year before I made the move. Um and you know so there were pieces of that but there was a lot of um there were other pieces that I didn't achieve like I was like oh I want my business to be making X amount of money a year. I want to have X amount of money saved in the bank neither of those things happened. Um so but I did it anyway I'm really clothed. How long have you been in LA? Yeah yeah what's that uh just over a year just over a year I've been I moved here December 1st of 2024 so wow yeah that's crazy and you were did you like were you born and raised in New York? No I grew up in North Carolina I was born in Pennsylvania spent like my entire spent most of my life on the East Coast. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:59

Oh my gosh that's such a big shift yeah yeah yeah it really is because I grew up in Montana and when I moved in Atlanta I was like this is totally different. It was so you know out of my element for the first complete year maybe even two I was like where am I what am I doing? Yeah you know but it sounds like you um adapted quite well thank you.

SPEAKER_00 53:18

Uh you know it's it's been challenging in its own ways. It's like I'm I'm still um regrouping after being divorced like that's that's part of the reality of it you know like living on my own and you know you don't quite you take for granted a little bit how much easier it is living with a partner when you when you have one um just you know it's time but it's also you know it's the financial piece of it it's much more expensive to be a single person because you're real you know yeah um because you're not you're not sharing all of those expenses so so you know adjusting to that adjusting to a new place you know um adjusting to a very different culture you know being in car you know all of that stuff but oh because you did have like a car in New York you were all like subway used no no I was subway all the way wow yeah that's a big shift big shift yeah yeah okay absolutely all right our third one is um how do you quiet your inner critic and if you don't quiet it what do you do how do you communicate with it well you know it's interesting I don't necessarily think of it as an inner critic anymore um we don't have time to go like into the full depth of this um but there is a tool called um from inner internal family systems um that basically there are different parts of ourselves and there's a part of yourself that um sort of stopped growing at a certain point in your life because there was you know a certain trigger that made that part of yourself sort of not continue to move grow and move forward but it's still a part of you and so the inner critic there are many inner critics there are different inner critics for different moments so whenever there's a part of me that's skeptical or holding me back where I can feel that I love the hell out of it. So it's about okay well what purpose is this serving? What are you doing? What are you what why are you here? What are you trying to protect me from?

SPEAKER_01 55:24

And then it's like I love you thank you for protecting me from it and I don't need your protection anymore but you're more than welcome to be here and if I if you ever need me I'm here and so it's about reintegrating those parts of ourselves I love that yeah that's so okay number four is what's one habit that's helped you build real confidence it's hard because I I don't think it's one habit I think it's the it is it is the overall experience of embodiment and um because one of the things that I do in my embodiment work is we're working on releasing old waves but we're also working on calling in new waves and so it's about connecting to a feeling and then letting that new feeling feel normal obvious like every day and then it starts to become part of yourself and then it just is part of who you are.

SPEAKER_00 56:33

But it's a very overly simplistic way to talk about it um because there's so much more nuance to that but it is the way that I practice embodiment which is like well who do I want to be and how do I show up as that person how do I start to feel that way now is the simple it's is the simplest way I can describe it. Yeah it's not really a habit it's much more nuanced than a habit.

SPEAKER_01 57:00

Yeah all right the fifth and final question is what's a favorite book or resource that that changed how you think yeah I want to give a shout out to this book called Chakra Rituals.

SPEAKER_00 57:13

It's written by Christy Christiansen um she's an amazing yoga teacher and healer and um and I found this book when I was just you know like I guess window shopping isn't quite the right word. I was like you know browsing you go you know you go in and out of stores and just kind of like you know browse the shelves and see what's calling you. And I found this book and when I frowned it the first time I was like oh this book seems really interesting but I don't think I'm supposed to buy it today. And then I think I ended up finally buying it a year later. Um but it's such deep uh healing practices that we can do around um shifting the energy of our chakra system. And I use it almost every day with my clients and in my work as a as a coach. And um it's and this book is just so beautifully written there's so much heart in it. Um and I feel like I'm gonna be using this book every day until I die because there's just so much wisdom packed into this like beautiful small space.

SPEAKER_01 58:20

So yeah. Yeah beautiful to look it up. Yeah yeah all right well I just wanted to say thank you so much for being here today. Um I think everything that you shared like I could visually like see in my mind like how it applied to my life um and my healing journey and where I'm at now versus where I've been and so it's just um it's so nice to hear that like you're teaching this that is working for me, is working for your clients is is science backed you know it's um energy uh aligned it's just uh such a powerful method that you use the embodiment work I think it's so important to be in our body uh because as somebody who used to dissociate when the fight or flight happened when I'd get on stage the stage fright I'd still perform but I was not in my body yeah so um and over time over the past three years as I've you know healed my nervous system I really in the past few months really feel like I am settled into it at times and that I now can see the difference. Yeah but it it has taken some time and I think it is the daily work like you're saying like these daily habits the daily rituals that you do um that can really calm your nervous system and and put you back in your body yeah and uh I didn't realize you know that this is where this journey would take me but it's also you know it's just so nice to hear you talk about it. Yeah because it is healing and so many people need to hear it. So your message is very valid. And actually how can people um find you where can they connect with you? What

How To Work With Natalie

SPEAKER_01 59:59

what do you offer to your clients right now? What is going on?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:02

Yeah sure so I was talking earlier about um my free resource the embodied shift which includes those three practices you can find them on my website uh which is theembodiedwaycoach.com and slash embodied shift I'm sure that'll be in the show notes. So you can grab that that's the first way to get started. You can get access to these three practices and start trying them out for yourself and see how that works. When I work with people I primarily work with people one-on-one. I do have some group offerings but interestingly most people sort of gravitate to working with me one-on-one and I think it's because it's very intimate work and because we go very very deep. So um I'd love for you to book a breakthrough healing session for me. That's a space where you and I can connect and um you know start to unravel the what's blocking you. And um I use a lot of different healing modalities. I probably take me another 15 minutes to talk about all of them. But energy work is a big one, somatic healing the movement practices is a big one, um breath work. But what we do in that in that 60 minute session is you'll you'll do a little pre-work for me. So I have a little I bid with an idea about what your goals are and what you feel like is blocking you. And then we'll go into meditation together so that I can get acquainted with your energy and your guides and they'll be like, okay, this is the thing this is the this is the thread we're gonna pull first this is the thread that's gonna start to create space for you to start to move forward. So we'll do that we'll do that work together. Sometimes it's through energy work, sometimes it through another modality and then I will give you usually some some work so to speak basically embodiment practices that are based on the work that we did together to help you integrate that. And that's usually how people start because I find that embodiment work is something that it's it's hard to know what it is until you've experienced it, even if I've talked about it quite a bit. And so once you have done a healing session with me, if you decide that you want to work on a regular basis, I have coaching containers and we can start to talk about more what that looks like. So that's the primary way that people work with me. And I am going to be releasing something soon but I don't know when. So I'm I'm choosing to like my guides are like nope don't talk about it yet. So I'm not talking about it yet. Um so so if you go ahead and and um you know get my my free resource um and jump onto my list that is the best way to find out what's coming next. And um I have a Substack which is the embodiedway dot substack dot com and I'm on Instagram at the embodied way coach. So those are all great ways to connect with me.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:01

Great yeah yeah thank you for sharing that. Yeah you're so welcome I think your work is so important and it's such a gift to the world that you are here sharing thank you for being on the podcast and sharing your story and I just love um that you uh won that that grant because I've always been wondering since I did my uh Seed and Spark a few years ago or two years ago maybe um like saw it and I'm like wow what would it feel like to be the winner of that you know and how incredible it was the most amazing feeling it dropped in it like the right moment in time and it really felt magical.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:35

And you know that's I mean that's the thing like you know when you do this work and you learn how to be open magical things happen. You might not get a seed in Spark grant but something else magical will happen you know and and uh yeah I want that for everyone because I do think life is magical when we allow it to be and um sometimes you have to go through a lot of mess and a lot of darkness to get there. But um I want you to know that everyone has darkness. We all have darkness and when you have the courage to connect with the darkness you also open yourself up to experiencing light. So I love that so and you never have to do it alone never have to do it alone. Yeah that's so beautiful thank you so much Natalie yeah thanks for having me this was such a lovely conversation like even though we chatted beforehand I never know what's gonna come out of my mouth that's like the most delightful experience for me as well I'm like oh okay not something I'd want me to talk about today.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:39

I love it so much. Oh yeah

Final Takeaways And Next Steps

SPEAKER_01 1:04:41

all right well thank you so much thanks so much for listening to the confident shortcut I hope today's episode woke something up in you reminding you that your dream matters and you can start now if this sparks something share it with a friend who needs it too and don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Nikki Stirner and join our Facebook community at the confidence shortcut. Ready to take the next step? Check out my free guide, the confidence kickstart linked in the show notes. Keep showing up keep taking action and remember the shortcut to confidence is courage