The Confidence Shortcut with Niki Sterner

#26: Christine Marcario | Aligned & Abundant | Self-Trust, Intuition & Reinvention

• Niki Sterner • Season 2 • Episode 26

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What happens when the life you've built looks successful on the outside, but something inside keeps telling you there's more?

In this week's episode of The Confidence Shortcut, I sit down with intuitive teacher, Reiki practitioner, and spiritual mentor Christine Marcario to talk about what it really looks like to trust yourself enough to change directions.

Christine shares her journey from award-winning middle school English teacher to entrepreneur and spiritual guide, and the inner knowing that eventually led her to leave a career that no longer felt aligned. What followed was a journey of learning to trust her intuition, navigate uncertainty, and build a life that felt more authentic to who she truly was.

Together, we explore the connection between confidence, self-trust, and nervous system regulation. Christine shares how Internal Family Systems (IFS), journaling, and other self-awareness practices helped her better understand her patterns and make decisions from a place of alignment rather than fear.

We also dive into perfectionism, human design, using AI tools to reduce overwhelm, and why confidence isn't something you wait for—it's something you build by taking the next brave step.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How to recognize when you're out of alignment
• The difference between fear and intuition
• Why self-trust is essential during seasons of change
• Tools for regulating anxiety and calming your nervous system
• How IFS, EFT tapping, and journaling can create greater clarity
• Using human design and AI as supportive decision-making tools
• Why confidence grows through action, not certainty

To learn more about Christine and her work:

🎙️ Podcast: Aligned & Abundant
📩 Newsletter: on Substack
🌿 Community: The Soul Shine Collective on Skool
📲 Instagram: @christine.marcario.coach
📘 Christine's Facebook
📔 Christine's Journal on Amazon: My Thoughts: A Monthly Journal

New episodes every week — packed with honest conversations, mindset tools, and real-life shortcuts to help you move before you feel ready, build confidence through action, and create your Bigger Life.

📌 Subscribe + share if you're ready to stop overthinking and finally move forward messy.

💛 For weekly inspiration, podcast updates, book launch news, 50-State Courage Tour adventures, and practical tools to help you move before you feel ready, join the Move Forward Messy Newsletter.

✨ Grab your free Confidence Kickstart Guide.


Welcome And Meet Christine Marcario

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast for ambitious creatives and entrepreneurs who are ready to stop overthinking, take bold action, and finally step into the life they've been dreaming about. I'm your host, Nikki Stirner, mom, actor, comedian, and producer. After years of playing small and waiting to feel ready, I went on a courage quest and found a shortcut to confidence. Each week, I'll bring you real stories, simple steps, and conversations with experts in mindset, courage, and confidence. Plus, heart-to-hearts with fellow creatives who are turning their dreams into reality. It's time to get unstuck and start showing up. Let's dive in. Welcome to the confidence shortcut. I'm your host, Nikki Stirner. Today's guest is Christine Marcario, an intuitive teacher, Reiki master teacher, and the host of the Aligned and Abundant podcast. Christine spent nearly two decades as an award-winning middle school English teacher before following a soul calling into intuitive teaching and spiritual mentorship. Now she supports heart-led humans on their journey of healing, alignment, and deep self-trust. She blends intuition, energy work, and grounded guidance to help people live more authentically and create abundance from the inside out. Christine is known for her warm, compassionate presence and her ability to hold emotionally safe, soul-affirming spaces for real growth. I cannot wait for you to experience her magic today on the podcast. Please help me. Welcome to the show, Christine Marcario for the Crown Goes Wild.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to have this conversation with you today and see what magic unfolds.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, me too, me too. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited to learn more about your story, Christine. If we could just jump right in and you tell me like where you grew up and what your path has, you know, where your path has taken you so far and what you're passionate about right now.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

Childhood Dreams And Playing It Safe

SPEAKER_01

So I grew up in New Jersey and I grew up on 2.6 acres of land. And so I had lots of time on my hands to explore because my parents would oftentimes send me outside to play. And I would go into the swamp behind my house and make mud pies and really just get dirty and play Hot Wheels in the sand pit and just really be one with nature. So that has been something that has always sparked my imagination and my creativity. And so, with that, you know, you always get asked the question of what do you want to be when you grow up? And so I would also imagine that I was a school teacher and I would make worksheets, and then some kids would get the A, some kids would get the F and the try harder and the do better. And so that kind of became ingrained in my brain. Like, I'm going to be a teacher. And when it came time to really think about what I wanted to do as a career, there were some other choices. I was always interested in the night sky. So I would oftentimes go outside and look up at the night sky and feel the pull and just see the beauty in the world. My friend had a bunch of books on science in regards to space, and I would always look at them whenever I went to her house. But I didn't think I was smart enough to work for NASA. So I put that dream to the side. I had other dreams, such as becoming an event planner or an interior designer, or even somehow running my own business, always felt like something that could be a possibility. But I was also a little bit torn because I thought that if I ran my own business, I wouldn't have time for a family. And I wanted to have a family. So becoming a teacher felt like it was going to be rewarding, but also safe. You could do the traditional path of going to college, and then there's always a need for teachers. It's not a profession, hopefully, that doesn't disappear. So I went the traditional route and I majored in English and elementary education. I worked really hard. I started with community college because finances was a concern. And then I took out a bunch of student loans and I went on to Kane University in New Jersey and I graduated with high honors for my undergraduate degree. I was lucky enough to get a job right out of college. Now I didn't start in September. I actually started at the end of October. So that was already kind of like a little bit of a challenge. The teacher had to leave for medical reasons. And so I stepped in and took her place. And I stayed with that district for 14 years. And I really enjoyed my time there. It was an urban school district. So there were always students who needed the extra love, care, support, guidance. And I was everything that I could be for them, you know, second mom, guidance counselor, on top of being their teacher. And it really did fill my cup and make me want to be and do more. So with that, I also went back to school to become an administrator. And so I also have my admin certs and my supervisor certs. But at the end of the day, I have steered away from that calling. So it's not something that I actually ever pursued enough to make a reality. So fast forward to about 2019, I'm starting to feel like how many more years can I really do this? Like the kids are great, colleagues come and go. But I'm starting to feel like this is kind of boring. Um, this is kind of not filling the cup in a way that I thought it was going to anymore. And so I started thinking about okay, how many more years to retirement? And at this point, you know what I mean? I'm only in my 30s, my late 30s. And so I'm like, well, there has to be another plan. There has to be a chapter two. But at this point, I have two children to care for. I'm making my way into my second marriage, and there's a lot going on. So I decide to pull the trigger and I apply for some other positions. I am offered three different solid choices, and I really have to make a choice. And so I go with the one that feels the best, and I take the position and I leave my tenure. So basically, as a teacher, after a certain amount of time, you're kind of guaranteed to be rehired every year. And that takes, well, it used to take three years. Now it's up to four years in a day. So it was risking the job stability that I had built and the credibility. I had been named teacher of the year in my first district. And yeah, so that was a big accomplishment for me and something that I am really proud of. And I was doing all the things. I had the admin serves and I was helping my principal. I was basically writing his newsletter for him and doing all the all the things, but not really getting like the recognition or the accolades that I deserved with it. I applied for jobs and I would get overlooked. Or I would be told, well, so and so has been waiting longer, so she's next. And, you know, the superintendent at one point told me, she's like, you could run your own school, but it would be wrong if so-and-so didn't get the job this round. Like, so you started getting into the politics of it. And quite frankly, I was tired of doing all of these things going way beyond my contractual hours and pushing myself and stretching myself so thin that it was time for a change. And I thought that maybe it wasn't just burnout in the teaching sense, maybe it was just the district. So I left and I really, really loved where I went, but curveball, the second job came back and offered me $10,000 more if I would go with them. So I made the decision to follow the money instead of my heart, and I ended up going, and in that position, I had a lot of free time, which again, you would think one would be happy, but I was bored. I wanted to be doing something that was creative and interesting, and so I would do my job responsibilities, and I would still have all of this time on my hands. So I was like, okay, I don't know if this is the right role for me. So I was debating what I was going to do come the end of the year. At this point, I was also pregnant, and so there was a lot going on. I was commuting over an hour, and it just felt quite exhausting. My car was having issues, and that's a whole other story. Like I was going up and down the interstate, and it was like the angels were telling me you have to get out of this vehicle. And long story short, I ended up getting out of the vehicle in a safe way. Someone actually crashed my car for me. Um, I had brought it into the shop to get the brakes repaired. They repaired the brakes, and then they crashed the car. So all these little things, yeah, isn't that wild? That's wait, the person who fixed the brakes then crashed it on the test drive to make sure everything was fine. Yeah, totaled it. Oh my gosh. They were fine. Everyone was fine, thank goodness. But there were

Leaving Tenure And Chasing Stability

SPEAKER_01

so many little things going on that were just like, this can't be happening to me. It was just one thing after another. Side story. Also, when I told my principal that I was pregnant, instead of like a congratulations, he was like, Oh, so you're gonna you're gonna want to take a leave. And I'm like, well, yeah, I'm I'm going to want to take a leave because I'm going to birth a child. And then so I was like, okay, all of this, like this, the universe is saying this isn't right. So COVID happens. We're told to clean out our desk, we're gonna go home for two weeks. Well, two weeks turned into the rest of the school year, that was March, and we never returned. And that was wild. And so, in that span of time, in May, I got the call that I was not going to be rehired. I was getting laid off because they realized that they were paying me a lot of money and they can condense my position and add it on to someone else's responsibilities. Now, I had left my tenured position for this position. So I was so upset. I'm pregnant. I'm not married at the time, actually. We were engaged. I had just, I wasn't in a rush to legally get remarried. So we were going to have my daughter and then save for like a nice big extravagant wedding. So all of that had to be rearranged. So they looked for where I could go, but I only have English and elementary certs. And because it was COVID, no one knew what was going to happen. So everyone was staying put. So they only had a math position open and I couldn't do high school math. So I got laid off and I was put on an unemployment. And it ended up being a blessing in disguise because I was able to stay home with my daughter for the first 18 months of her life, collecting unemployment, which at first like was a huge ego trip. I could not like, I was like, I cannot accept this. This is, I felt like such a failure. But my girlfriend, who was much wiser, was like, this is a blessing. Yeah. And so once I embraced that, I was okay with it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And I accepted all of the beauty that came with staying home because for my first two, I was teaching. I was in the classroom. I took the minimum amount of time off and I got right back into the classroom and then coming home and managing infants. And it was a lot. So this was a blessing. And I was like extremely thankful for it in the end. So that gave me a lot of time to think about whether or not I wanted to go back into the classroom. And so what had happened was I said, you know what, let me try some different things. So I had tried an assistant director of a daycare, and they had promised me, like, I wanted to be in an admin role. So they were like, we're gonna train you to be in the office, but of course, you need to get some experience with the children. But what happened was they really were not honest with me. There was a lot of transition going on in that particular building. The director, the assistant director was leaving. There were some shifts going on. So basically, they stuck me in a classroom with three-year-olds all day and I got no experience in the office whatsoever. So after about three weeks of that, I ended up getting the flu from one of those little lovely children. And I was knocked on my butt for a solid eight days. And I was like, okay, I thank you so much, but I'm going to give my notice and that book closed real quick. So from there, then I took a curriculum development specialist job. It was remote, more hybrid for seventh through 12th graders at New Jersey City University. And I loved it. I loved it. I liked my coworkers. I loved, again, working with that type of demographic of students. And I loved the diversity and creativity of the program. But at the end of the day, I was slowly starting to accrue credit card debt because the salary was much lower than my normal teaching salary. So as much as I was happy, it was just not paying the bills. So I decided to go back into the classroom and I was paid the most amount of money that I had ever been paid on the salary guide. So all seemed well. My heart was like, ugh, but I'm going to give this a fair go. And because the kids had not had a teacher for a few months now, they were so kind to me. They welcomed me in. They, you know, they were typical middle schoolers. Like not every day was, you know, easy. There were some kids that I had to, you know, go head to head a little bit with. Wow. Um, and make my presence known that I am strict but fun. So there has to be, you have to do your part, and then we'll we'll have a good time, but you have to do your part. You know, we're not here to play and have fun all day, every day. So I quickly established a really good reputation amongst the students, and my colleagues were amazing. I had some really, really great colleagues step in and help me with curriculum and get acclimated. And I'm forever grateful for them because they made the transition really, really easy for me. So, fast forward year three, we get a new principal. I actually applied for the VP role with him. So we would have been colleagues running the school together. And I'm really good at reading people. And there was a point during my interview in which I had felt that there was a shift in him that I was possibly intimidating him with the knowledge that I had and the easiness in which I could answer the panel's questions and kind of like, I know what I'm doing, not in a cocky way, but like I I'm solid. I know what I'm doing. Like experience. So um I found out a few things down the road that yes, a lot of people on the panel wanted me, but at the end of the day, it wasn't up to the panel. It was up to, you know, him and the vice principal at the time, more so. And so it was later expressed to me that I, because I was newer to the district, you know, they were kind of gonna go with someone who had roots in the town. And that was like an off-the-record side conversation, which of course, why? Because it's probably not allowed to be. That's the reason why I didn't get the position. So I'm like, okay, I will go with it. It's not my time. It's fine. Um, I'm a big believer of everything happens for a reason. So we start the school year, and I am the type of person that will speak up if I don't let not if I don't like what's going on, but I'm a big believer in fairness. So when I see things that are kind of lopsided, I am the one voice that will say, hey, I think we can do this better, or why are we doing it this way? Why don't we do it this way? And so eventually I think there was some feelings developing between me and my now boss.

Conflict With Leadership And Sudden Exit

SPEAKER_01

So it came to a head on my birthday on January 30th of this year. I had asked to go down to the office to talk to an administrator because of something that was going on in my classroom that was making me, quite frankly, uncomfortable. And we ended up getting into a verbal disagreement. And I stood my ground and I said, I'm not gonna tolerate the way that you're speaking to me. And eventually he said, you know, go back to your classroom or go home. And I said, Well, I'm gonna go back to my classroom. And so I went back to my classroom, I wrapped up my class, and then during lunch, he came in and he basically said, I'm going home on an administrative leave and to basically gather my things that I was gonna be escorted from the building. So my union rep comes and I didn't even get to tell her my side of the story yet, because I really didn't think I did anything worth being fired over. Um, someone just can't take a conversation. So I didn't even get to tell my story, and she's like, you're 95% chance going to be let go. And my jaw dropped open to the floor because, again, this is like my 19th year of teaching. I've honestly done crazier things. Like I was very controlled. I didn't curse, I didn't do anything that I thought warranted losing my job. So I went home on an administrative leave. I did everything that I could to fight for my job back. Um, I talked to a lawyer, I did everything that I could legally through the union, but it just felt like I was getting met with barrier after barrier because I was non-tenured. They kind of really don't have to have a real reason to let you go. So basically, he had higher friends. He just made a call to the board office and his friend um just okayed it. So again, like I and and I was pleading my case to this person higher up that was making the decision. And at one point, he I could tell he wasn't even listening. And I was like, excuse me, you know, I'm still speaking. And he's like, Oh, I have to check these emails from my principals, like totally ignoring me, had already made up his mind. And I'm like, this is male patriarchy at its finest right now. And so I decided, you know what, I'm not gonna fight anymore because I'm clearly not wanted here and I'm not gonna be in a place where I'm not welcomed or respected. So I let it go. And then I went into working with a, you know, a therapist and whatnot. And so I had stepped into Kathy Heller, a dear mentor of mine, was launching an event, and I got right into her program to work on my personal development and my mindset. And she ended up hosting a retreat that I went out to, and that was a whole big thing, also because I was terrified of getting on an airplane. I had developed some anxiety over the past few years of going back into the classroom and really just knowing in my soul that like it wasn't serving my highest good anymore. And I think that's where the anxiety was coming from. But I had conquered that fear. I flew six hours to LA and enjoyed the retreat and grew so much and decided that I was going to change my life. I was no longer going to let people in power dictate my worth. And that seemed to be an undercover, an undergoing current in my life that I hadn't seen. But like I said, I started working with a healer in IFS therapy and really getting to the core of where my feelings of self-worth or lack thereof were stemming from. And it was from all these people that were making decisions about my career. And so I decided that I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm not going to tolerate that. And so that's where I started my own business. And I did it before I was ready. I launched my podcast, Aligned and Abundant. I purchased an LLC and I just started teaching myself how to become a life coach and how to lead groups. And I'm also, like I said, I dove back into practicing Reiki and really developing my intuitivence and my mediumship and leaning into a different role. I kind of went through an identity crisis where I was like, I'm not going to be a teacher anymore. And then it came to, I'm always going to be a teacher at heart. It's just that I'm not going to teach in a traditional classroom setting anymore, but I am still going to be a teacher because I went through like the whole thing with the titles didn't feel good to me. Am I a life coach? Am I an intuitive teacher? Like, what am I? And so my spirit team was like, forget the titles. It's it's not about your title, it's about what you do for people, it's about how you make people feel. So that's still in evolution, but at the core, I'm still a teacher and I'm just unpacking what all of that looks like and changing it and pivoting as it goes because I want to meet people where they're at and I want to fulfill their needs in working with me.

IFS Therapy And Reclaiming Self-Worth

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I wanted to go back.

SPEAKER_00

You mentioned IFS. What does that stand for? So it's internal family systems.

SPEAKER_01

So basically, it's parts therapy. So you go back and you reconnect with your little inner child, or you reconnect with the 21-year-old version of you who experienced little trauma or big trauma. And you have this conversation with that version of yourself, that part of yourself. And then from there, you can heal the hurt or the limiting belief that you have picked up from that moment of your life. So it's something that's really cool and really goes into depth about the different pieces of who you have been. And usually it's from outside. So it's from your family or it's from your circumstances. It's something that you did as a reaction to your environment.

SPEAKER_00

I'm curious, and you don't have to answer this, but I always like to go a little deeper. Um, I'm curious what came up for you when you went in to heal your IFS.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so what came up for me was, and I I cried on this free consultation because I didn't even see it, and I'm the one living it, but I saw this theme of people in authority, mostly my principles, that would instead of seeing me as someone who could help, they were all power-hungry, controlling individuals who really just wanted to use me for what I could bring to the table, but then not give me any credit. And if I questioned their authority, I would get squashed or I would get put down or be told that I'm stepping out of my lane. So it became the realization that I have an issue with authority because my worth is being perceived in a different way than I see myself. Whereas I want fairness and equality, they just want to do it their way instead of working as a team. And so I kept bringing these people and these opportunities into my life. And so that's the irony that when I was in my last teaching position, I know how I had a lot of this knowledge already in my head. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut. I'm gonna go with the flow. I'm gonna keep my opinions more or less to myself. But then things started happening where I'm like, okay, now I'm not working in integrity. I'm not okay with what's happening. No one's okay with what's happening, but I'm the only one that's brave enough to say something. So I put my head out there and then God is on the shopping block. So at the end of the day, uh, it didn't work out for me. Or maybe like it did. It really did. It was a blessing in disguise. The universe was like, okay, because I was getting bored, but I was also getting stagnant. I was like, okay, this is paying the bills. We're making headway on my credit card debt. We are able to travel and I'm giving my family these beautiful, amazing experiences as far as vacations. I'm like, just suck it up. Just go to school, just be happy. Just but I was driving to work and I was like crying or I was depressed and I was like, and I was like self-medicating with like iced caramel lattes two, three times a day because I was like, that was my escape. So I'm like gaining weight because of all these calories from Dunkin' Donuts. Um, so I was like, something has to change. But I was like fighting myself because an uncomfortable stability is safer than the unknown. And even though I knew I was being called to do something bigger and better, I was scared. I was really scared. And so this was the universe's most gentle way of getting me out of the classroom because I mean it could have been something far worse. Like, I don't know. You know what I mean? Let your imagination roll. Like this was like quiet and no one even knew. I just disappeared into the night. Like I just, I was just like kidnapped and gone. Like it was the weirdest, weirdest thing ever. I was not allowed to talk to my students. I was not allowed to talk to my parents. I was discouraged from talking to my colleagues. Like everything is like red flag, red flags, shady is going on. Um, not at all. Because also I was laid off. So it was a whole different scenario. Um, plus it was COVID. I had only been there a few months. Like, people weren't really that curious. They're like, oh, she got another job, she left. But I don't even know if people told my story. Tell me.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I mean, the one where that you were at for 14 years and won the award Teacher of the Year, all of that. Was the district like that where you didn't feel respected? And the Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it got to a point where yes, I was kind of like doing a lot in terms of leading the school um leadership-wise. I had a, it was like a group where it was parents, teachers, and leadership. And I was the president of that for five years. And so I had a lot of responsibility. But then we got, yeah, it was kind of the same situation. There was a new principal that came along, and again, like it was a woman this time, and she had seen me as a threat. And so she was just the rudest, rudest person to me all the time. And so I just avoided her. She was completely, in my opinion, not a good role model for the students. Um, but some people loved her, and so I was just on the outs and I was just frankly tired. I had applied for a VP position in the building, and we had, and so I had been there for 14 years, so I had applied for many things. And we always, always got a courtesy interview. And she flat out said, No, I'm not giving you one. And I was like, wait, what? How do you get to like override something that's been happening for years? And so I was like, you know what? I wouldn't want to work with you anyway. So I took myself out of it, and that's when I started looking for another position.

SPEAKER_00

That's crazy. The the like politics involved in the politics is wild.

SPEAKER_01

And what's even crazier is I'm in a in a community now, I'm in two different communities, and like, and that's just something that is integral to my work, also is I'm here to lift and empower other women, other people. I it's not a competition. When I rise, you rise. When you rise, I rise. So to constantly be put in situations where it was like a competition, that's not the goal here. Our goal is to ensure that our students are safe, they're learning, they're well cared for, and they're respected. And if you're coming into my classroom with like a doo-doo attitude and talking to me in a disrespectful tone in front of my students, like what are we saying to our students? And so there was a lot of ickiness that last year where I decided to quietly pack my classroom and put in my resignation. Crazy.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you for sharing your story. That's such a wild um, I mean, it's amazing. It's like you are meant to be a leader, and so the universe was finally like, okay, I'm gonna make you a leader. Like you're gonna stop serving a system and become the system in your life where you get to serve and lead and help others to grow exactly like you wanted to grow. You get to create that in your life. And so I wanted to go through some of the things that you learned once you started in this new role. Like, what have you been doing? What's been working? What do you help your clients with?

SPEAKER_01

Getting back to the core of who we are. And what I mean by that is look at me, for example. I had to go through what I went through so that I could teach what I can teach now. It's recognizing that our lives are not meant to just be running on that hamster wheel, getting up and going through the motion of things and almost feeling like numb to the world. So going back to your authentic self. What is it that you want to do? What is it that your soul is calling for you to do? And oftentimes, growth comes with discomfort. So it's not going to be the thing that you show up and do every day, it's going to be more. So helping people uncover what has maybe become cloudy. So helping women get clarity on what they want to feel in their life, because at the end of the day, we're not chasing the things, we're chasing the feelings that come with those things. And when we do more of that, then you're more in alignment with the universe and you're going to call in naturally more things that light you up or more things that are on your same energetic level. So it's also working with recognizing what limiting beliefs you may have, because a lot of us have subconscious programming that we are not even aware of that is running the show. And so it's really having these honest, deep conversations in a safe environment where I hold space for you to open up and go deep within yourself and really get to the core of who you are. And then also giving you permission to pivot. You do not have to be stuck at any age or any position or in any relationship that is no longer serving you and what you feel is going to light you up. I'm curious what limiting beliefs you uncovered. So limiting beliefs that I uncovered are that I am not worthy to be my own boss. So after all of everything that I have gone through, it came to a point where I, like you mentioned before, and thank you for seeing that in me, I am a leader and I don't want to be told what to do. I want to be the one coming up with the ideas. Now I'm all about a team and seeking out, it's like a vehicle, like you need a tire, you need a steering wheel, seeking out people that can serve the different roles that I need to run a smooth dream business.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But also understanding that there are, of course, bumps in every road. And so I realized that I can also not follow the traditional path. This was a big one for me. My father is very, very traditional. I mean, eat the same thing every day, have the same job until you retire. So I didn't tell him for the longest time that I had actually left teaching and that I was not planning on going back. I mean, months this went on. It was an unspoken secret because to him, and what I realized with my therapist was it just became something that he felt was unsafe. There's safety in having a tenured position. Even when I left my tenured position, that was a big to-do. Why in the world would you leave? You're already tenured. And I'm like, dad, I'm in one of the most underpaid school districts in the entire state. I'm working my butt off. You know what I mean? Like I'm driving an hour, I'm commuting an hour every day on the parkway. I'm like, why would I not seek something better and different? So realizing that I can give myself permission to no longer, I guess, people please or meet the expectations of my parents. You know what I mean? I'm 42 years old. I think it's time that I start making some of my own decisions without fear of disappointing them because it's at my expense. My health was suffering. I had developed severe anxiety to the point where I was literally afraid to drive, afraid to drive. So when I was driving this commute to work, I ended up like my husband had a similar path, and I would pull over and wait for him so he could drive behind me. Like it became like bad, really bad.

Anxiety, Panic, And Nervous System Tools

SPEAKER_01

Where did that come from? You know, I don't know where it came from, but I can tell you when it started. So we drove to Florida, and I drove to Florida, so I was fine. Driving home was a whole different story. We were coming up to the Baltimore, Maryland Tunnel. And I guess I had been sleeping through it on the way down, and I started feeling the sense of claustrophobia starting to creep in, and my body started getting hot and warm and tingly. And I kept seeing the signs, and everybody in my car is kind of sleeping and dozing off. So it's me, my husband, and my three children. And I freaked out. I pulled off to the side of the road into this entryway that said, do not enter. My son thought I was offing everybody. He thought I was like crashing us all. And because I said, I can't do this. And then we darted off the road and I just had a full-blown panic attack. And I don't know where it came from. Wow. But it took me about six months to get over my fear of driving. And keep in mind, I have an hour commute. It was torturous. Torturous. And then I started having panic attacks in the classroom and I would have them sitting at my desk because I didn't want to worry my kids. So I would just oh my god. Just sit there and just breathe myself through them and wild. And all because at the end of the day, I really think back and recognize that I was just not meant to be there anymore. But I just kept forcing myself because it was a safe, right? Ironic, the safe thing to do. But at my body's now physically, my body's now screaming, yeah, it's not where you belong. This is not where you belong. But my brain is like, safety, safety first. Just say here, you know this, you're safe. It was wild.

SPEAKER_00

Wow, that's so wild. Cause yeah, your body is saying, like, I don't like it here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like, we're fine, we're fine. Exactly. Exactly. It's like when you're riding like that bike that's on fire and you're like, everything's fine, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my goodness. Wow, that is so wild. So six months of driving and panicking and like struggling to get there every day.

SPEAKER_01

That is so like inhale or in hand, just in case I need it. Yeah, crazy. I know. It sounds crazy. And people, I tried to explain this to people, and they're like, it's in your head, anxiety's fake, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, so that made me feel even worse.

SPEAKER_02

Worse.

SPEAKER_00

You know, like I'm like, no, this is like this is a real thing. Like, this is a real thing. Well, I'm wondering what you were telling yourself as it was happening. Did you know, like, like, were you saying, like, I'm panicking? I'm just gonna do it. Yeah, so those kind of thoughts.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So kind of the more that you give it attention, the worse it gets. So I would just turn to EFT tapping, um, which is a way to calm your nervous system. And I would just repeat, I am safe, I am safe, I can breathe, I am safe. And that kind of just would get me out of it.

SPEAKER_00

Wow. It reminds me of in the confidence shortcut, we talk about exposing yourself to your fears, which is what you were doing. And we use the ace mindset routine. So you acknowledge the feeling because we're constantly putting ourselves in something that we fear, which is what you were doing. So we say, like, wow, I am, and and what I did is I felt like the I felt the fear. So I made myself like feel it like this, wow, this is a powerful energy. I feel this, I feel ready. I feel ready instead of, oh my gosh, I'm so scared. Like, what is going on? You know, instead of freaking out, I'd have to tell myself, Woo! I feel that, I feel ready to go. And then I'd say, I move before I feel ready to clear my mind of any negative thoughts, just to stay with the fear and not avoid it. Cause for so long I avoided that feeling because it was scary. But I have forced myself through exposure therapy to consistently show up and use it, like set it off, do something that's scary, and then stay with it so that I'm retraining my brain to know that actually this is safe, what I'm doing. I'm not gonna die, I'm gonna be fine. And then I would do the thing and I would say two I am statements. I would say, I am joyful, I am magnetic. And then I, this is when I before I'd get on stage for stand-up comedy. So then I'd say, the crowd loves me, and they laugh at all my jokes. So I was creating exactly what I wanted to experience and using this energy and moving with it instead of avoiding it. Because when I avoided it, I would just disconnect from myself totally. And then I would, you know, I would never build confidence, I wouldn't strengthen my nervous system. The ace mindset routine and actually feeling fear and using it, moving with it was what has really calmed my nervous system down. So yeah, I'm curious, what did you find out along the way? What worked for you? What things did you do? Like you talked about Reiki and um what other things have you like?

Journaling, AI To-Do Lists, Human Design

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so just all the things. So I started really journaling and and doing a brain dump. So just like writing without judging myself and whatever flowed out onto the paper. Like when you're not carrying it around in your mind, trying to remember all of the things that you have to do, you know, it's just a release of weight in your mind. So I love a good journal, a good brain dump, a good to-do list. And then I came up with a trick also of the to-do list of using Chat GPT to prioritize my to-do list.

SPEAKER_02

Wow.

SPEAKER_01

So give me the top three things that are going to move my business. Give me the things that I have to do to maintain my family, like the doctor appointment, the dentist appointment. And then giving myself permission to, it's okay if I do one thing that moves my business today, and I save making the two other things for tomorrow. Like so, giving myself grace to do it messy, because the messiness is the authenticity. It's me learning and growing. And then I also did a deep dive into my human design and knowing what works for me. And so I am a trial and error girl. So unfortunately, I have to continue to try things to get the data, to get the feedback so I can pivot and grow and change directions. So part of me is like, no, that who wants to do that? I wanted to be perfect the first time. And then recognizing that that's not even part of who I am at the core. So letting go of that resistance to want to be perfect. And then working with mentors like Kathy Heller, who really encourages you to put the perfectionism down, to not be the A plus student, to be the C student. It and get it done. And that's how I got my podcast out. Also, I said, you know what? I'm going to put it out there. It doesn't have to be perfect. And if it isn't, that's okay. Whoever's meant to listen to it will listen to it. And if I get past seven episodes, I've already beat 95% of the podcasters who start and give up.

SPEAKER_02

Is that right?

SPEAKER_01

Something crazy like that. Seven is usually the number when people give up and quit. They get that uh bate where it's no longer fun. So I'm gonna, and I'm also still giving myself permission. When it no longer feels fun, I'm gonna pivot again. Like I'm not locked into any one thing anymore. And I think that's why my life feels so abundant. And that's again what I want for everyone who comes across my path to feel like they can find the abundance in every day. Because it was also training my brain that abundance doesn't have to be luxury bags and vacations and jewelry. Like it's having your coffee made right, it's smiling and having a conversation with someone at TJ Maxx. Like it's having good quality conversations and moments with the people you care about or strangers, like it just when your soul gets lit up, that's what abundance is to me now. And so I'm calling in more of that into my life and then spreading that kindness when I can.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I love that. So authenticity, so authentic, aligned, and abundant. Yeah, it's beautiful, it's beautiful. I was wondering what are some of the questions that you journal about, or do you literally just whatever comes out and that needs to come out?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so I do just journal whatever that comes out, but also you know, what is going to make me feel good today? What is one aligned step that I can take today that is going to get me closer to feeling more aligned, feeling more abundant, moving my business, making a difference. So what is my next aligned step? And also after I do all of that brain dumping, it's kind of connecting with source, with God, with the universe, and what would you like me to know? And then just free flow. And usually it ends up kind of being like a little pep talk for myself, like, you know where you're supposed to be going, you know what you're supposed to be doing. Just and like I might get an idea, right? So I'm I'm also thinking of what I can do, and then I'm feeling because again, of my human design, I'm a generator three, five and I have a sacral authority. So literally, what feels good in my gut and trusting my yes and my no, trusting my body's uh, I don't like that. It could work, but I don't like it. Or that hell yes, that feels good, and then doing the hell yes, not doing the no out of obligation or I should, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I

Building Simple Offers And A Journal

SPEAKER_00

love that. Now you have um a journal, right, that you have produced. Tell me about it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so along the way, back when I was my uh curriculum development special, I also had some time on my hands that I came up with a journal that I made, and it is available on Amazon, and it is a monthly journal. So the idea is that it's you journal every day for a page, and then you can go back and reflect and look at any patterns or themes that may have surfaced that you really weren't even aware of. And so that's the idea. And it's paperback, so it's quick, it's easy, it can fold and fit into your pocketbook, or it can stay on your desk, and then you can get a new one. And it's angel aligned, so it's 888. So it's very inexpensive, so you can get one. And yeah, so it's called My Thoughts, a monthly journal. And it's just something that I felt was really calling on my heart to put out there.

SPEAKER_00

I love that you have that journal. You're such a go-getter. You already are producing products that are serving your clients, and you did that before, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I did that in the transition where I was trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up in that pause where I was laid off and trying to figure out what I wanted to do. And yeah, I taught myself how to do it just by going on YouTube, literally. Just I'm like, I'm doing this today. And I did it. It took me like an hour and a half, and I was so incredibly proud of myself because I did it so fast and it was so easy and so fun, and I figured it out, and so I was like so proud of myself. And so it's been fun to have also friends and family support me in like purchasing it and promoting it. So, yeah, it's it's fun.

SPEAKER_00

Well, we'll definitely put a link in the in the notes, Shona. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

Move Forward Messy Book Announcement

SPEAKER_00

Before we get back to today's episode, I wanted to share something exciting. For the past year and a half, I've been working on a book called Move Forward Messy: The Confidence Shortcut for Your Bigger Life. It's built around a simple idea. Confidence doesn't come first, action does. The book is designed to help you stop waiting to feel ready, uncover what you truly want, and start building your bigger life through tiny, brave steps. Along with the book, I've also created a guided journal and a blueprint, both designed to help you turn your dreams into action. And we're officially in launch season. The book will be available on Amazon this June. I'm also hitting the road on the 50-state Move Forward Messi Courage Tour, bringing this message to communities across the country. To stay up to date on the book launch, the tour, and everything happening next, check out the links in the show notes. And now let's get back to the episode.

Confidence Quickfire And Favorite Reads

SPEAKER_00

Okay, I want to move into the third part, which is the confidence quickfire round. So I'm gonna ask you some questions. Are you ready? Okay, my first one is how do you define confidence, Christine?

SPEAKER_01

I think confidence is showing up in your authority, showing up in what feels good to you. So doing the things that might feel a little scary, but also trusting yourself that you can do it. And it's no longer people pleasing, it's recognizing that no can be its own sentence. You don't have to overexplain, you don't have to make up an excuse. So it is just being true to yourself and what makes you feel good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I agree. I used to think confidence was something different, but now I agree. I think it's just you saying yes and showing up, regardless of if you feel uncomfortable, if you feel confident or not. Like I think it's just the ability to show up.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, even when you're not ready.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, do it messy, do it, yeah, totally. Okay. The second question is what's one bold move you made before you felt ready?

SPEAKER_01

Starting my LLC. So I legally wanted to start my business, and that felt like a real tangible yes to the universe that I am going to give this a try. So actually sitting down and going through all of the paperwork and the application process of putting it down on paper, aligned and abundant, LLC, and then just starting my business, just putting it out there, just telling people that I'm no longer going to step into the traditional classroom and starting my podcast and then just rolling with it and then claiming that identity. So at the retreat that I was at with Kathy Heller, it was no longer I'm going to be. It became I am a life coach. I am a podcast host. I am filling the blank.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I am is such a powerful phrase. It really is telling your brain. Telling your brain, I am this. And then your brain is like, okay, let's let's make that happen.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, exactly. Because present. And when you're saying I'm gonna become like, then you're constantly, you're constantly getting there.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, starting an LLC is a big deal. It really is. It's you choosing yourself, it's you doing the steps, the legal steps to make this happen, which is it feels big and it feels incredible. So I get it. Okay, the third question is how do you quiet your inner critic? And if you don't quiet it, how do you work with it?

SPEAKER_01

My inner critic is definitely a jabber jaw and constantly going. So there's a few tricks that I've come up with. And this one is from my friend, and he taught me that whenever I have a thought that is not gonna serve me, control alt-delete, just like you would on a computer. Just imagine pressing those buttons, control, alt, delete, and just put in a new thought, visualize yourself somewhere in a happy spot on the beach, just to get you out of that cycle of thoughts that just replay in your brain, telling you you're not good enough. Who are you to do this, et cetera? And then just really trying to lean into the feeling of where I really want to go, who I really want to be, and then just feeling that and breathing, stepping in and just again reminding myself that I if I have air in my lungs, I'm here for a reason and a purpose. And I truly wholeheartedly believe that. And so just reminding myself, and so it's like that pause. It's like, oh, control, alt, delete, restart.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that like I call it interrupt and level up. So it's like you just like you said, control, alt, delete, that's your pause. Yeah, you're leveling it up into what you really want to feel. It's so simple when you have a system, it doesn't have to be complicated, it just has to be that interruption. Yes, exactly. Yep. Okay, fourth question is what's one habit that's helped you build real confidence? Because I'm a big person, a big believer in habits. I don't know if you probably are too. Um, what is one habit that's helped you build the confidence you needed?

SPEAKER_01

So in my morning routine, when I am brushing my teeth and putting in my contacts, I make sure to look myself in the eyes, in the mirror, and say something nice to myself. And it doesn't have to be superficial, but sometimes it is like you're kind, you're a good person. I love you, and you have so much potentiality, and you're doing the right things, you're doing the kind things, you're loving, you're caring. And I have that little moment with myself, like you got this. And I also got some of the chalk markers that you can write on the mirror. So I'll also write some different affirmations. So I'm reading it to myself and I'm claiming it, and then I'm turning it into an I am. So it's just really looking at myself and just loving myself. Like I'm here. This is the body God gave me, this is the mind and the heart that I have, and just loving myself and even telling myself, like, dang, it's okay, you messed up today. Like, I forgive you.

SPEAKER_00

But you know, well, I believe that we need to start telling ourselves more, like, failing is good. In fact, we should be failing forward frequently every day. Like, that is the new belief that I have. It's like, how did you fail today? Well, why did you not fail? Like, are you not trying? Like, get out there and fail.

SPEAKER_01

Like, no, I totally love, I love that you said that. And I actually think I'm gonna purposely fail. Yes. Um, I'm gonna start doing that because why not? You know, well, you learn so much quicker when you fail.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, exactly, because you're trying. Yes, yes, versus like thinking about it and like, well, maybe I'll do that, you know. No, if you do it, you're like, well, that didn't feel good. That's that, you know. Exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_01

And statistically, say you put out a hundred emails, right? Mathematically, statistically, you can get 99 no's, but somewhere in there, there will be a yes, because there has to be.

SPEAKER_00

So the more you fail, the more you're trying, and you'll get that yes eventually. Yeah, I love that habit that you mentioned, though, talking to yourself in the mirror. You know, Mel Robbins has that high five habit. Reminds me a lot of that. And something that I do, like when I notice my mood is a little bit different, I'll I'll tell myself, um, what do I say? Uh I'm gonna have the best day of my life today. That's that's what I've been saying lately. I'm like, it doesn't matter how I'm feeling, whatever, like this is gonna be the best day of my life today. And I say it every day because I do feel like I can make it the best day of my life. And then it makes me happy. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have the best day of my life today. What? Yeah. Oh my god, I love that. You know, versus like just being in that like wah wah, like, hmm, well, I'm a little tired today, or you know, like I have a lot to do. Like, wow, this this is my day today. Yes, best day of my life, and it's like next level, like the best day of my life. What? Yeah, best day of my life. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it makes me believe it too, because I I feel like you're also like, you're not just saying it, like you're embodying it, you're feeling it, you're claiming it. And that's I think where the shift is. So the universe says, okay, we're gonna prove to her that she can have the best day of her life.

SPEAKER_00

End oh, yeah, yeah. And it's having that conversation in my head with that person who's like could be like the Debbie Downer, but I'm like, oh no, listen, we're gonna have the best day of our life today. And she's like, What do you want? Oh my gosh, well, let's party. Yeah, and back, like I love that. It's so fun. And then when I go to bed at night, I say, I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I am the and then I like remind myself, oh my gosh, this happened today. This happened today, this happened today. It changes your life. When you say I think I'm gonna, I'm I think I'm gonna steal that.

SPEAKER_01

I should steal it.

SPEAKER_00

It changes like every night. I I am the luckiest girl in the world. I'm gonna have the best day of my life. Like those two things, complete shift in the mindset. Like, wow. And it they're so simple, you know, they're just so simple. Yeah, just little things like that. Okay. Um, the last question is what is your favorite book or resource that changed how you think? Speaking of thinking, your your favorite thing could be a podcast, it could be a book, it could be anything.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I loved The Secret by Rhonda Byrne because that got me interested in manifesting, and I'm very interested in manifesting. Now, tied to that, I just finished a book which I'm gonna claim as my current favorite, Into the Magic Shop by Dr. James Doty. Okay, into the magic shop. And he's a neuroscientist and a neurobrain surgeon and also into manifesting. And the story was his story, it is so good. I was so enthralled and invested in reading it. And it's also like it gives you the tips and the trick, like it gives you the tools. Um, it's such a good read, such a good read. Like I freaking loved it. So I didn't find that one. I haven't heard of that. Um, it just came across my path. I want to say Kathy Heller, but also Mel Robin, because he passed away this year, and I happened to be listening to Mel. Had him on her podcast, and I was driving to Tennessee with my kids for our family vacation, and I happened to listen to that episode because I think he had just passed away the day before, and she wanted to honor him. So she replayed the combo, and I was like, this sounds like a really great story of a kid coming from nothing to rising to be a multimillionaire, to losing it all, to leading a life of purpose, and it all stemmed through someone who took the time to teach him. And so it's I don't want to ruin too much, but it's a great read.

SPEAKER_00

Wow. Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna look into that one. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. Yes, I love what you shared today. I love the human design stuff you talked about, the trial and error. I think it was in the the journaling, like you oh, oh, okay, here it was. Um, you talked about I'm like, I know there's one specific thing that I'm gonna take away from this. And you said that you like brain dump like your to-do list. I call it to do today, like in my journal, but you throw it in AI, chat GPT, that's what I used to. But you throw it in there and say prioritize this according to that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so so first categorize it. So into like what's gonna move my business, what's gonna allow me to have connection with in my business, what are some things that I just have to do to like maintain our health? And so I have it break it down into categories, and then in each of those categories, I have it prioritize them from most important, most moving to least priority. And then I just constantly update it and uh yeah, utilize it for sure. And it and it's AI, it doesn't care how many things you add to the list. I love that.

SPEAKER_00

Do you have it like on somewhere like on a on your wall? Like, do you or yeah?

SPEAKER_01

So then I so then I go a step further and I move it into a Google Doc and I put the little check boxes bullets because I like to check it off and see it. Oh, smart. Okay, I haven't used those before, but I like that idea. Yeah, yeah. So like instead of like a just a circle bullet, there's like a little box. Yeah. And and then you can actually check, like you can click the box and it checks it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Okay, amazing. I'm used, I'm stealing that. That is so cool. Yeah, that was my favorite thing, my favorite tool that you gave me today. So thank you for that gift.

SPEAKER_01

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00

I was just gonna say, thank you so much. I just want to honor the fact that you shared so much of your story, which can feel so vulnerable to do. But I do, I do feel like you are on the right path, and you are obviously like the universe was like, this is where I want you. And it made it very clear. Um, you know, no more choosing like the steady route. It was like, let's go for happy now. And you are just glowing. You're this beautiful person, and I'm so thankful that you're in my life. So thank you for sharing your gift and thank you for sharing your tips and your tools because I think that that's really gonna serve our listener today.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much. And yes, I I decided that I was gonna choose happiness over steadiness because happiness, I think, is just gonna open so many more doors for me than just staying on that hamster wheel and running, running, running.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. And look at all the things you're doing already. So beautiful. Yes, thank you so much, Christine.

Closing And How To Keep Going

SPEAKER_00

Thanks so much for listening to The Confident Shortcut. I hope today's episode woke something up in you, reminding you that your dream matters and you can start now. If this sparked something, share it with a friend who needs it too. And don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Nikki Stirner and join our Facebook community at The Confident Shortcut. Ready to take the next step? Check out my free guide, The Confidence Kickstart, linked in the show notes. Keep showing up, keep taking action. And remember, the shortcut to confidence is courage.