Building confidence, one lesson at a time

What does it take to transform from a shy student to a confident classroom leader? In this episode of Alumni Stories, Sarah  takes us through her unexpected journey to becoming a history teacher at Luxembourg's Lycée Robert-Schuman.

Sarah's story begins with a surprising confession – she originally wanted to be a veterinarian. But witnessing the profound impact teachers had on her peers sparked a different calling. She saw firsthand how destructive negative teacher interactions could be, with some friends being told they would "never amount to anything" simply for being energetic or having ADHD. Simultaneously, positive teacher influences in her own life showed her the transformative power of supportive education.

For someone naturally shy and introverted, choosing a career that requires standing in front of a classroom daily seemed counterintuitive. Sarah candidly shares her struggles with confidence, perfectionism, and the paralyzing fear of making mistakes. Her evolution from meticulously rehearsing presentations to comfortably joking about technological glitches in class demonstrates a profound personal transformation. "I think I put myself under a lot of pressure because I didn't want to do anything wrong," she reflects, describing early teaching anxieties that will resonate with many educators.

The path wasn't straightforward – COVID-19 crushed her dreams of studying in Berlin just as they were about to materialize, and she chose an alternative route into teaching rather than the traditional Luxembourg concours. But these detours taught her perhaps the most valuable lesson for both teachers and students alike: perfection isn't the goal, growth is. As a colleague wisely told her, "We have 40 years to perfect our courses. We don't need perfect lessons on day one."

Whether you're considering a teaching career, struggling with professional confidence, or simply interested in how educators develop their craft, Sarah's journey offers authentic insights into the challenging yet rewarding path of classroom leadership. Connect with us to learn more about studying at the University of Luxembourg and preparing for your own professional journey.

Interested in signing up for the Bachelor en Cultures Européennes?

Visit the website : bce.uni.lu

If you have any specific questions regarding this Bachelor, please contact: bce.office@uni.lu

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Transcript

Welcome to Alumni Stories

Masti 0:02

Hello and welcome to Alumni Stories, a podcast brought to you by the University of Luxembourg. I'm your host, Masti. Let me give you an idea of what Alumni Stories is all about. Whether you've studied here before, or you're curious and consider pursuing your studies at the University of Luxembourg, or just want to listen to interesting people, whatever it might be, you're at the right place. I know it sounds forward, but let me break it down for you. Every episode will star a former student who finished your degrees and has set a foot into the working world, or, as I like to call it, the grown-up life. We'll get a glimpse of each individual their personal ups and downs, their survival strategies, the recipe to balance uni and life, and much more. So if you're, like me, someone who's been looking for the right study program but hasn't been able to find the right fit yet, call this your lucky day, because this podcast is made for you. So, without any further ado, let's dive into today's episode.

Sarah's Journey to Teaching History

Masti 1:03

Today's guest has been a teacher for two years. Her love for history and wanting to positively influence future students made her passion for the field grow. With dedication, she outgrew herself and learned skills to perform in front of peers and professors, later students in her own classes. She is here to elucidate her ways, how she handled frustration and how one can become a teacher even without participating at the concours immediately. Please welcome Sarah.

Masti 1:37

So, Sarah, it's so nice to have you here. Welcome! As always, I like to have my guests introduce themselves in their own words. Maybe you can tell us about yourself and what you do at the moment. What is your job, for example?

Sarah 1:50

So I'm Sarah, I'm 27 years old and well, this is my second year that I'm working as a teacher at Lycée Robert Schumann, as a history teacher.

Masti 2:01

Nice, so first things first, history. Why did you choose to be a history teacher?

Sarah 2:14

So... like history itself, or teacher?

Masti 2:15

Maybe both, you can choose.

Sarah 2:17

Well, I actually don't really remember when I started wanting to become really a teacher, because for a long time I wanted to be a veterinarian.

Masti 2:26

Oh really?

Sarah 2:27

Until I realized that I was too sensitive for that job. But during some time at the lycée, I just realized what an impact teachers could have on students, like either a negative one, because I had some friends that were going through a rough time, or even some family members that were really criticized by teachers, that were really told nothing will ever become of you...?

Masti 2:51

Are you... Okay, I understand like you have no future?

Sarah 2:54

Yeah, yeah, that you have no future, that you will never be anything in life. Like really negative, just because they were maybe a little loud, a little annoying, like some of them had ADHD, it's just

Masti 3:05

It's human nature.

Sarah 3:07

Yeah, it's human nature. They were just being children actually, and I found it quite shocking to... Well, I never had a teacher tell me something like that, so I was quite fortunate. But I found it very shocking because that can have quite a negative impact on students. And, on the other hand, I had very positive teachers. I myself experienced very positive teachers. Without them, I think I wouldn't be where I am right now.

Masti 3:34

Yeah, that's the first thing I had in mind. Maybe these people kind of influenced you into the path you are at now.

Sarah 3:40

Yeah, exactly.

Masti 3:41

But maybe also not, because you wanted to become a doctor, like a... How would you call it again?

Sarah 3:49

Veterinarian.

Masti 3:49

Yeah.

Sarah 3:50

Yeah, but that was because I really love animals and I grew up in a farm, so I was always very focused on animals. But yeah, I just realized I couldn't. I can't handle death and death of animals. So yeah, I had to reorient myself.

Masti 4:07

But how did you do that? How did you find the right path for you, even though teaching maybe wasn't the first thing that came up to you?

Sarah 4:17

I think there are some moments during your school career where you kind of have to take some decisions, and for me it was when you... From quatrième to troisième classique, you have to choose a section. And there I was like deciding do I choose the section C, which is like biology and all that stuff, or do I choose another one? And so, when I was at that point I kind of realized, okay, I kind of need to find something else now. I really realized I don't think that biology and all that would be the right way for me. And history was also always a passion for me.

Masti 5:02

n what way was that a passion? Like you, just enjoyed talking about it and reading about historical events?

Sarah 5:08

I think I always loved reading, like I'm a person that, from a very young age, I started reading a lot. So I really loved reading about history and also like watching documentaries and all that, and also in school I really loved learning about it. So yeah, that passion grew from

Masti 5:28

So it was a natural thing actually. But then, did you already make up your mind about becoming a teacher?

Sarah 5:35

I think yeah, from Troisième on

Masti 5:38

So it was a clear thing?

Sarah 5:40

Yeah, I was always thinking doing something with history. For a time also, I wondered if I wanted to work at a museum maybe. But like the path to become a teacher became clearer and clearer, the more I saw like those different impacts teachers had and the more I reflected about that myself.

Masti 5:57

Okay, because of the experience you had with the teachers you encountered, you were positively influenced and therefore, you wanted to maybe even become a teacher yourself.

Sarah 6:07

Yeah, exactly, or even because I thought those other negative impacts and I thought there are enough negative teachers.

Masti 6:13

So you wanted to become like a positive one.

Sarah 6:16

I wanted to because I really know that some teachers changed my life, even if it's maybe...

University Experience and Balancing Life

Masti 6:21

No, I mean it makes total sense. I think we all had a teacher in our life that maybe could be a negative, but also could be a very positive impact on us. So, definitely, so definitely now I understand what you're saying, where you're coming from with that. So you finished school and you were "okay, I will now go to the university here" . Or how did the things work for you?

Sarah 6:46

Also there, there a lot of stress because they always feel like such big life decisions, choosing a path.

Masti 6:54

It's some big steps.

Sarah 6:54

Yeah, but for me... That might be a bit of oversharing, I don't know. I always wanted to go elsewhere, like explore another place, but when I finished my première, my father was actually sick. So I wanted to be close to my family.

Masti 7:18

Okay, that makes sense.

Sarah 7:19

So I chose to stay here.

Masti 7:21

Was there something specific about the program that you liked and that's why you picked it?

Sarah 7:27

I think it's the only history program that you can do here, so the decision was quickly made.

Masti 7:33

Based on that, yeah.

Sarah 7:34

Based on the fact that I wanted to stay here in Luxembourg that I would choose this one. I think I found it kind of interesting that you didn't only study history, but you also have like the other interdisciplinary program. Like we still had philosophy, German, French, English... So I found that interesting as well, because only history I think that would have become maybe a bit boring, even though it's not boring. Yeah, I think it could be nicer to have like a few different insights, I guess.

Masti 8:12

Yeah, a bit of variety. But it feel that way to you?

Sarah 8:16

It was a bit stressful I think, because there were, if I remember correctly, about eight subjects per semester. So, that could be a bit much from time to time, but I still found it interesting though to learn about all the different topics.

Masti 8:33

I mean you're able to create your own, I guess, plan. Were you able to create one that fit with your schedules and with your daily routines and everything? Because I once had someone here who also studied history, the BCE in history, and she said she always took the Fridays off, like she had the courses until Thursday and then Friday she was off. She's like, I wanted to enjoy life.

Sarah 8:58

I don't think that I did my planning based on that. I honestly don't really remember. I think I kind of tried to place the subjects that I wouldn't be here too long, like from morning until the evening, or that I wouldn't be here every morning starting at eight. I don't know what time that courses started.

Sarah 9:32

It's been seven years. It's not that long.

Masti 9:32

It is quite long. I don't even remember what I did yesterday.

Sarah 9:34

Yeah, same.

Masti 9:37

So I don't really remember things from seven years ago.

Sarah 9:38

Yeah, so I think they started at eight or quite early. I tried to not place them there, even though there were some that were always at eight and I found it interesting, so I still took them. But yeah, I think I mostly went with those that sounded the most interesting.

Masti 9:54

Yeah, I think I would do the same. But then, you said it was quite stressful because you had many different courses and then, you'd had different timetables. Did you balance your life at home, with friends and your student life quite well?

Sarah 10:12

No, I don't think so. I think for the longest time I really struggled with that, like balancing all of it, because I think I was mostly stressed because of university and trying to study and keep up with the courses. So my family life or time with friends, that always was kind of distant.

Masti 10:37

Now that you look back at that time, seven years ago, would you say you caused yourself more stress than you needed to?

Sarah 10:46

Yeah, absolutely, way more than I needed to. I think, especially in the beginning like those big life decisions, I was still sometimes struggling with wondering, is this really the path I want to take? Am I really going to do this for the rest of my life? At the beginning of the bachelor, I was also still very shy, very introverted, so it was a bit out there to choose to become a teacher, where you have to be in front and interact with people all of the time. that kind of stressed me out at the same time. I was wondering, maybe I'm supposed to do something else, maybe I want to become a marine biologist or something like that. So I really always stress a lot because of that and I didn't want to fail at the same time. So I always also stress for the exams and everything. But I stress myself way too much.

Masti 11:37

That you put a lot of pressure on yourself in that regard. I feel like when you come out of school and you're not 100% sure with your career choice, like you said, I think a lot of people are like, "oh my God, am I choosing a career path for the rest of my life?" But I think in that moment it feels like so overwhelming. But a few years after, with some experience, like, it didn't have to be that stressful. But what would you tell yourself back then, like how would you maybe do things now that you know better?

Building Confidence Through Practice

Sarah 12:07

I think now I really try to put things into perspective and also always, I always think it's not that deep, it's not that big of a life decision, and I can always change my career path. Still now, I don't think that I will do this for 40 years and yeah, I kind of try to keep my options more open.

Masti 12:32

And you said you were more of a shy person and you were stressing about if that's like the right path for you. What gave you the confidence to actually pursue the career of being a teacher? What helped you with your confidence in front of people?

Sarah 12:49

I think experience in general, like the older you grow, the more experiences you have, the more you interact with people. That shyness kind of goes away. I had a lot of like student jobs where I had to interact with different people, so that already helped. And then, also during university, during the courses, there were some presentations that were a bit longer and I remember, at the beginning, I was very nervous, very shy. It really stressed me out. But with time also, the more I prepared for them, the calmer I got.

Masti 13:27

So it's preparation.

Sarah 13:28

Yeah preparation, experience, mostly. And then, I think I always stress my... Because I think it's also different like being in front of a room full of like students and a room full of adults.

Masti 13:47

But coming to that point of being in front of the students in your classroom, you first have to start with the adults, like in a sense of these are people my age, maybe older, maybe there's like professors. But what helped you like? You mean experience, but how can I imagine that? It's like really talking to your students, like friends and people in your class or what was it that kind of boosted your confidence there?

Sarah 14:16

I think it was like mostly the experience of doing it again and again. I think I practiced a lot like during like bigger presentations. I practiced a lot with friends before to really

Masti 14:32

To get feedback.

Sarah 14:33

Yeah, to get feedback, what did I do wrong? What could I do better? And that's already helped a lot. And yeah, I think the more experience you get, the more you kind of see okay, this works, this doesn't work for me.

Masti 14:46

You pushed yourself to that point, right. Because maybe you felt like, "I have to get better at this yeah I think that's the motivation you need to really get the process going.

Sarah 14:56

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I know what my goal was, so I knew that I kind of had to get myself there.

Masti 15:02

And did your time like studying help you, at the university, with that confidence being formed? Because I mean that's a development, like a character development.

Sarah 15:17

Yeah, I think so because there were quite a few and also, there was one teacher that I think really boosted my confidence. It was Mr. Uhrmacher I think, and he was a very, very positive teacher. He was always sitting there like thumbs up, like nodding his head, like reassuring. And that also gave a lot of confidence, like seeing what I'm saying is not complete bullshit. I'm on the right path and I think also that having teachers like that helped me a lot.

Masti 15:53

Yeah, and would you say that now in your classroom, you're like very comfortable and are easily able to do your job?

Sarah 16:02

Yeah, absolutely. But I think even there, it comes with a little bit of experience because at the beginning, it was terrible. The first time I had to stand in front of the class, I was so nervous; but apparently, the students told me that they didn't notice that much.

Masti 16:21

Sometimes it's more in your head.

Sarah 16:22

Yeah, yeah.

Masti 16:23

And you mentioned you did a few HIWI jobs, student jobs. What kind of job did you do?

Sarah 16:32

Well, nothing to do with history and nothing to do with teaching for the most part. I worked at different banks during the summer.

Masti 16:41

So it's a total different field!

Sarah 16:43

Yeah because even, for a time I wondered if I wanted to go work at a bank.

Masti 16:49

Okay, it's a lot of choices there!

Sarah 16:52

Yeah, but after my first job at the bank, I knew that I wouldn't do that because it was too boring. And I worked as a lifeguard as well during some holidays or on weekends and I worked at Parc Merveilleux in Bettembourg, selling stuff and serving food.

Masti 17:18

So it wasn't necessarily the student job where it's like, "I will work here at the library to you know, boost my information on things. It was just like

Sarah 17:29

Jobs that I could get where I also had like... Because it mostly works like that in Luxembourg, I think you have to have the connections to get a job, for the most part. So it was mostly jobs like that but then also, thanks to the University of Luxembourg, during the bachelor, we had to do... I don't know if you still do that now, but we had to do a portfolio. So we had to go listen to different presentations on different topics from different people. And there was one that was organized here. That was a presentation from the Musée Militaire in Diek irch and I found it quite interesting. Because I also realized that I never really had a student job that was in my field, I kind of just texted the person that was in charge, that also did the presentation here. I just texted him, "I heard that presentation. I found it quite interesting Would it be possible to get a job there?". And then, I also started working there during the summers.

Masti 18:33

Was a job like that very different from what you experienced before?

Sarah 18:35

I think yeah because it was really something that I myself found interesting, like that was also in my field. Because like lifeguard

Masti 18:47

It's nice.

Sarah 18:48

It's nice but it doesn't really help me. Well, I learned few things but not that much that would be helpful for my future.

Masti 18:57

At least you can save a life out there. I think I would just drown. I wouldn't be a help.

Sarah 19:04

Well, I never had to save anyone so I don't know if I actually could.

Sarah 19:08

So in that regard, it was very, very nice for the first time because it was really a job I was passionate about. I also worked on a project that I found very interesting. I found it way less boring than working at a bank. That was a very positive experience.

Masti 19:28

id that help you with your decision making in terms of the teaching?

Sarah 19:31

I think so. On the one hand, I kind of now have a little bit of experience in the museum part, which I also found very interesting, but at the same time how do I put it... Like in the beginning, the museum was working on a project on monuments of the second world war, and my job was like going or driving through Luxembourg and documenting them, taking pictures...

Masti 19:58

That's quite interesting.

Sarah 19:59

So that was quite interesting and there, I was like active all the time, I was driving all the time, so I was never like in a

Masti 20:08

Like one place.

Sarah 20:09

Yeah in one place, stuck in one place, stuck in front of a PC. But like other days, there was a lot of working in front of the computer, like doing research and all that, and there it gets difficult. It becomes difficult for me because if I'm stuck too long on like one place. I get nervous, so I kind of really like the work but at the same time, I realized that I wanted a more active job where I can be active all the time. In teaching, you are active all the time and every day is very different, so I really wanted to go more in that direction.

COVID Disruptions and Career Path

Masti 20:48

Those jobs really kind of helped you to say, these things are for me and these aren't, which is kind of a non-brainer" when you think about your future. Yeah, so just in general, I think or I'd suggest everybody to just try out some jobs. Like you said, if you're here in Luxembourg anyways, the contacts are very important. So the more people you know, the better it might be for your future. Then, I don't know like what the time frame here is. So you had your jobs, you were probably at some point done with your bachelor's too. Then you decided to stay here for the master's too. Why? How come?

Sarah 21:33

So here also, at the the beginning I wanted to go elsewhere because I already was here for three years. I wanted to see something different. There wasn't really student life here. But in the end, I also think that I once again put too much pressure on myself. I really... There was too much overthinking going on I think because once again, I didn't want to be too far away from my family. I also didn't want to be too far away from my boyfriend at a time. So I thought that if I would study elsewhere, it would just become too stressful, too complicated, because I wanted to

Masti 22:13

To keep everything under the roof.

Sarah 22:15

To keep everything under one roof, that I wouldn't be able to juggle all of that, and also like even the financial aspect. I really stressed myself out at a time because I thought no, then I have to lend money and I didn't really want to put that financial pressure on myself. Also because I wasn't sure if I could actually get a teaching place. So I was too unsure, too worried.

Masti 22:41

You can tell there was a lot of overthinking.

Sarah 22:43

Yeah, there was a lot of overthinking. At the end, I just decided to stay here because it was the easier way.

Masti 22:50

I mean, you didn't get that big, big experience here at the university or in terms of student life, maybe there wasn't much going on, and I think especially you're studying and you didn't know how to really balance things. Were you still happy with what you chose here?

Sarah 23:07

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I think I still got a lot of knowledge, a lot of valuable experiences. I still got to know some very interesting people and I also formed some very close friendships that still exist until today, stuff like that. And also, I think I also appreciated the smaller courses with fewer people because you could really learn a bit more. In some courses with fewer people, I think teachers could concentrate more on you or help you more or have more of an impact. Absolutely, yeah.

Masti 23:50

But I mean you had the smaller campus here. However, you were able to go for Erasmus. Did you do that?

Sarah 23:58

No.

Masti 23:58

You didn't? Why?

Sarah 24:00

No, because of Corona. There was also something I was really looking forward to be able to do in Erasmus and I was supposed to do it in my fourth semester. I wanted to go to Berlin, I got accepted; I was very, very excited. I already had an apartment there. I was supposed to go with someone that was also in the history course, and I was super excited. I already went there, put all my things there. That was in February of 2020. And then a month later, everything closed down so I wasn't able to go. T he Erasmus was cancelled and I had to take the courses here.

Masti 24:49

And how was that?

Sarah 24:50

That was very depressing.

Masti 24:53

Yeah, I can imagine.

Sarah 24:54

Because I already wanted to... When I first came here, before I even started studying here, I learned about the Erasmus program and they said that Berlin was an option and, already at the time, I thought, okay, I really want to go to Berlin. So I really was looking forward for that for like three years, even before I started studying here. And then, being so close, already seeing the place, already seeing how nice it would be or imagining how nice it could be, and then... Well, nobody thought that Corona would become what it became I think. Seeing it all getting taken away was a bit tough at the time.

Masti 25:31

How did you overcome that? I think I'd also fall into like a big hole at that point, because it was something you were looking forward to so much. But how did you manage to be like, okay this happened, but now we're moving forward?

Sarah 25:44

I think it took me quite a while because there was a lot of crying involved, a lot of panic attacks and yeah, things like that. At the beginning I really... Like it felt unreal this even happening. So it was a bit tough in the beginning to deal with that but then, as I said, I always try to put things in a bigger perspective. And then, I was like I just lost an Erasmus. Other people are losing way more or lost way more, so that kind of helped me like to see the bigger picture.

Masti 26:21

Maybe that's even the motto you need, "put things into perspective.

Sarah 26:25

Yeah,

Masti 26:27

Okay, so you're stuck at home. How long did you still have to go with your studies? I don't know what time that was like in your studies.

Sarah 26:36

It was my fourth semester.

Masti 26:37

So you still had a like a few years

Sarah 26:41

One and a half, like three more semesters to go for my bachelor's.

Masti 26:45

How was that, during Corona?

Sarah 26:48

It was interesting, I guess. It was a bit difficult to adapt in the beginning because also, the courses were online at the time. It was way harder for me to concentrate because there were some courses I just fell asleep during them because

Masti 27:10

You could.

Sarah 27:11

Yeah because you could, because I was still in bed, just locked in.

Masti 27:16

In pajamas.

Sarah 27:17

In pajamas, yeah. I tried to concentrate but sometimes I just fell asleep, which wasn't also great decision-making. But yeah, it was an interesting time. At the one hand, it was practical because I hadn't to drive that much always to come here but at the same time, I think it was a bit boring, you weren't in contact with people anymore.

Masti 27:45

You weren't involved as much. So, would you say that in class, like being in class, is more important to you?

Sarah 27:53

Yeah, I think so because you get to interact with people, you get to to see people, which wasn't the case at all COVID, at the beginning.

Masti 28:04

So you started your master's here. You went for the master's of...?

Sarah 28:08

It's the master en histoire contemporaine that I chose and there I had a choice actually, because there's like the courte durée and the longue durée. And there, I chose the longue durée.

Masti 28:23

For what reason?

Sarah 28:25

Because the courses are a bit different. Like the courte durée, I think that's really more the contemporary history; and in the longue durée we also had antiquity, we also had the Middle Ages. There were some teachers like Binsfeld, Wermacher, Mark... that I really liked during my bachelor's that I wanted to have again and that I wouldn't have in the courte durée. Also, I think that one is more practical if you want to become a teacher, because you still have all like the antiquity, middle ages, all those periods that you need later to become a teacher and also maybe for the concours.

Masti 29:06

Yeah, that's what I was wondering too because I know that in the Masters for becoming a teacher, you actually have a big preparation for the concours. But if you don't necessarily have that and you study history in your Masters, do they prepare you for the concours as well?

Sarah 29:25

No, not at all. The Master really wasn't the preparation to become a teacher or for the concours or anything in that regard.

Masti 29:35

So you got your master's, but was it fun anyways?

Sarah 29:39

The master's?

Masti 29:39

Yeah, did you like it?

Sarah 29:41

Yeah, I think for the most part. I think there are always aspects or courses that are a bit frustrating. But for the most part yeah. Because I think also there, you kind of have a little bit more confidence. You kind of know more what you're capable of so that was a lot easier.

Masti 29:59

Okay, because what happened next? So you wanted to become the teacher. Did you go for the concours immediately or did you take your time?

Sarah 30:07

No, I actually haven't done the concours yet.

Masti 30:09

Oh no, really?

Sarah 30:10

Yeah. So for the concours I think you have to sign up in summer already, and then the exams start in January. So you really have to finish your masters before you can enroll. In the Luxembourgish system, you can become a teacher as employee and as fonctionnaire. If you do the concours, you are fonctionnaire and if not, you can still become a teacher as employé. And I was more focused on becoming a teacher first and then, I could still do the concours after, because you do not have to have your concours. I know that some people sign in for the concours right away but then, they often wait for a year. They don't start working as a teacher.

Masti 30:59

Okay, what do you do in that time period?

Sarah 31:02

I don't know. I guess mostly study for it or do other jobs, but for me I wanted to start immediately. So I think I was very early on. I think it was already in December, January, that I started like to send my resumes to different schools. So while I was still doing my master's, I just sent my resume to different schools and wrote them that I was interested in becoming a teacher and I kind of wanted to try my luck there, to immediately get into the system. And yeah, I was lucky because I had a few interviews. Like, the first one that I had was at the school that I'm right now.

Masti 31:55

Okay.

Sarah 31:55

And it went very well. I had a very good impression and there, the directrice also told me that she was interested in having me there as a teacher.

Masti 32:12

And that's how things went, and ever since you've been there?

Sarah 32:15

Yeah, so I got the confirmation I think that was in August only, because they also have to wait until the minister says OK, you can go.

Masti 32:29

Yeah, green light for you.

Sarah 32:36

So starting in September, I started working there and in the beginning, I still wanted to do the concours at the same time, I signed in in summer.

Masti 32:44

That's not stressful, though?

Sarah 32:48

It was way too stressful, it was way too much, because you just kind of get pushed out of your comfort zone, or but you just get thrown into

Masti 32:57

Like cold water.

Sarah 32:57

Yeah, you get thrown... Yeah, exactly.

Masti 33:00

I think we all know what that might feel like.

First Teaching Experience and Growth

Sarah 33:02

Yeah, so you get just thrown into cold water because I had no teaching experience, I had no idea what I was doing. And you kind of start at the beginning of September where you have some courses yourself, where you kind of learn how to teach basically, how to create like worksheets, how to start teaching, how to navigate during classes, or even like how to like create the first day. Like, how to get to know your students and stuff like that. It's so much information because you have no idea what you're doing. And then, especially in history, you have to teach so many different topics and even like, you know the Greeks? They had some courses like ancient Egypt or stuff like that. The last time I learned about that I was in school myself. So you have to learn a lot and you just get thrown in there.

Masti 34:12

So you really learned by doing.

Sarah 34:13

Yeah you kind of have to learn by doing and it's a bit much, and you're frustrated all the time, because you feel like everything's going wrong and nothing is really like going the way you want it to. And you also have no idea what you're doing basically. There was a bit much to do at the same time as I tried then to study for the concours.

Masti 34:34

So you felt a little lost there?

Sarah 34:36

Yeah that was a bit much and in the end, I kind of didn't manage to study enough. So I went to write the first exam, that one I actually passed, and then in the second one, I didn't study the whole topic, only like the first part of it. And then they asked about the second part. So I just said, okay, I'm out. But yeah, I think it's for the best. If I would have tried to get through that, it would have been too much stress. I think some people manage to like both both of them at the same time. But I think if you already have the , if you, you don't have concours to do. the right away I think it's way less stressful if focus on your stage, because période de stage for two years. If you manage to do that, um, then you can still do. after yeah and I think it's way more important to do because, if you pass like the exam for the stage, you're a teacher and it's -

Masti 35:51

Is there no difference to...?

Sarah 35:52

There are a few differences, I think. Like you make a little less money in the beginning. The more time passes the difference becomes bigger, but in the beginning it's just like a little difference in money. There's a bit of job security if you are a fonctionnaire and there are more advantages later on. If you work longer, after a certain time, you have to work less hours and privilege like that, or you have less hours that you have to work if you're a fonctionnaire. So there are a few advantages, but in the beginning they aren't that relevant. Therefore, I really think that you shouldn't stress yourself too much.

Masti 36:44

You think everybody should do what they feel most comfortable at, and just go with their own flow?

Sarah 36:47

Yeah, exactly I think. The argument that some people use to do the concours right away is because you're still in that learning or studying mindset, that it will be easier to study if you do it right after. But I think you... especially like in topics like history, you still have to study all the time, like during the stage, so I don't think that would be a problem here.

Masti 37:21

So that's still something that is on your plate eventually, the concours?

Sarah 37:25

Yeah. I absolutely plan to do it next year.

Masti 37:28

Yeah, if you're ready for it.

Sarah 37:30

Yeah because now, I achieved my exams for the stage, I am a teacher now, so I really try to do that now. One thing after another, without putting too much on my plate at the same time.

Masti 37:47

So the concours is kind of like the next step for you, for your career?

Sarah 37:52

Yeah.

Masti 37:52

I mean, you still remain a teacher. You are, but you have like the advantages you mentioned before?

Sarah 37:58

Yeah.

Masti 37:59

Okay, and how was your first day in class?

Sarah 38:06

Super stressful, I would say.

Masti 38:07

Yeah.

Sarah 38:09

Because, like once again, I had no idea what I was doing.

Masti 38:15

So how do you get an idea of what you should do?

Sarah 38:20

We had those like courses for maybe two weeks before classes started where we had to teach, where we were kind of told what to do. That was also a lot of um and at the same time, I think I was kind of lucky because I got some course materials from other teachers that I know, that already helped me a lot, like to know a little bit what I should do. I still did a lot wrong. But yeah, it was basically very stressful, like also standing in front of the class for the first time. I think I put myself under a lot of pressure because I didn't want to do anything wrong. I think I mostly struggled with that, like the fear of doing something wrong,. Also, the beginning, I was very worried that they wouldn't take me seriously because I am a woman and I'm still very young and I look very young I think. I mostly look like a student myself still, so I was very worried that they wouldn't take me seriously as like an authority figure. Also, like being strict isn't really something that's in my nature. So I mostly like struggled with myself in the beginning and then also, I remember that I wanted to be very prepared for my first class. I even went t o the lycée during holidays to kind of try everything, like all the digital stuff, how the computer works, how the... We have like a digital blackboard, how that works, how Apple TV works and all that.

Masti 40:09

So all the preparation you could do.

Sarah 40:13

All the preparation I could do, I did. And then I went there and the computer didn't work. And I was so stressed out because I was like, they probably think that I'm stupid, I'm not even able to get the computer to work. I also didn't know like stuff you don't even think about, like am I allowed... Because I didn't have the number of like the servers for the computers. So I didn't know if I was allowed to leave the room to go get someone or to send a student to go get someone. So there was a lot of stress.

Masti 40:47

A lot of question marks.

Sarah 40:48

lot of question marks, and there's always stuff that happens that you do not think about in the beginning.

Masti 40:58

But you made it.

Sarah 40:59

But I made it. Somebody came to help me out and in the end, I somehow managed to survive.

Masti 41:07

And something you mentioned was the term "fear and that you kind of had to face it. You were afraid of a few things, but how would you say, like the pressure you put on yourself and you've done that before in the past too during the bachelor you mentioned... Now, are you able to work on that in a way that is more profound? Are you able to overcome that pressure you put on yourself? Or, have you found a solution for that regard, or the perfectionism you mentioned too?

Sarah 41:41

I think, yeah, a little bit. Once again, I think it's a bit the experience, because you kind of... You will do a lot of mistake, like my first courses, if I think back, they were terrible. But you will do a lot of mistakes and there's also something that can go wrong and I think you kind of learn to deal with them. Also don't take yourself that seriously, like they are not going... Well, they're students and they're teenagers, they are going to judge you but they are not gonna judge you that much. If there's a mistake and with experience and more comfortable I get, I think I just start joking about it myself. So if something doesn't work, I joke about it myself, and then I put it aside and I deal with it a lot easier, I think.

Learning from Mistakes and Moving Forward

Sarah 42:37

And then, with the perfectionism, that's something I still think I struggle a little bit, I think less now than in the past. I think what mostly helped me was always talking to others, like I was very fortunate that in my promo, the other history teachers to be, that started with me, were amazing people; and also the stagiaires at my school were also amazing, all of them. We all always talked a lot, like we were constantly like exchanging, talking about our own experiences and kind of seeing that everyone is in the same boat, everyone is kind of struggling because of the same things. And that kind of really helps, once again, to put things into perspective and kind of seeing okay, it's normal that I do mistakes. It happens, it's annoying but it's normal, everybody does them, everybody's struggling. And there's like one thing also another stagiaire once said, he said we have 40 years kind of try to perfectionate our courses, like we have time. We do not have to have the perfect course the first time we do it. We kind of need to learn with time and then see how it works. And even talking to older teachers that still say that they are making mistakes; and even like talking to students sometimes. it's not like that I went to them and kind of wanted to have feedback right away because, at the beginning, I really didn't.

Masti 44:25

Yeah, it takes some time.

Sarah 44:29

I was too scared at the beginning to ask for feedback because I thought that they would say that everything was terrible. But I think the more you get to know students, they kind of open up to you and they kind of start talking to you about other teachers as well and their experiences. There also, I had like students that told me that they were very impressed, that I was quite organized and that my courses were clear and good, where from my own perspective I thought that they were terrible. But yeah, like hearing their

Masti 45:02

I mean for your standard, it probably was; but for them, hearing it or seeing it for the first time, it was enough, it was good.

Sarah 45:08

It was all right. The y also kind of told me that other teachers were more disorganized, even teachers that work longer, so it helped me kind of also seeing that like okay, actually -

Masti 45:24

I'm not as bad, as I think I am.

Sarah 45:25

I'm not as bad as I think I am and also, everybody does mistakes. We are only human, and it's a job that can be quite tiring, so yeah.

Masti 45:37

I think that's very important to know that, like you said or like the colleague said, you have like 40 years, enough of time, to really get yourself to a point where you're very happy with what you're doing. And it won't happen like in a day and, just like in everything, practice makes perfect at the end. So I think, like you mentioned, the conversation and seeking the conversation with people and getting feedback is something that helped you grow so much.

Sarah 46:06

Exactly.

Masti 46:08

Would you say... For people that really want to become a teacher as well, is there something that helped you along the ways, that kept you motivated? Is there an advice you could give those people?

Sarah 46:19

I think well, I think two things. First of all, talk to your peers, like really get that feedback, really talk to others, because I don't think that I would have managed to get to the end without them. It was really a huge motivation for myself to always see the others are struggling as well. They can also help you with certain things, they always have different experiences, different point of views, that can really help you grow, help you see things differently, help you manage better with certain problems that might occur and also, always see the end goal. the first two years they are terrible, they are very, very, very tough.

Masti 47:09

During that training?

Sarah 47:10

Yeah, it's horrible, it's very horrible, but after those two years, it gets a lot easier.

Masti 47:19

So don't give up, really.

Sarah 47:20

Yeah, really don't give up. I think that's also something that, most of us, we accept, we know that the first years will be hard but after it will come easier, after we already have some experience, after we already have some courses prepared. We have less work, we are less stressed. So really, keep that end goal in mind and know that it will get easier.

Masti 47:46

Yeah, and it will all be worth it probably.

Sarah 47:48

Yeah, absolutely.

Masti 47:54

If you want to get in touch with our guests, are interested in applying or need more details about the Bachelor of European Culture study program here at the University of Luxembourg, check out the description of today's episode, where I've added all the information you'll need. That's all for now, but we'll be back soon, and I hope you will be too. Maybe even soon on campus.