The Book of Russel

He thought he was walking up to a man’s door to settle a score, but a two-year-old girl with her arms raised changed the entire outcome. Russell shares a raw, unpolished testimony that moves from warrants, pride, and bar nights into a life built on humility, community, and faith. We talk honestly about how anger and ego can feel like strength, how addiction disguises itself as boredom relief, and why “running” can keep happening even when nobody is chasing you.

The story gets even more intense when Russell describes crossing into Mexico, hitting a pharmacy like it was normal, and then realizing too late that what he took was fentanyl. Riding motorcycles home, he nods off at 70 miles an hour and drifts across lanes, while his son watches in terror. The next morning, his son explains what he saw and how he stayed awake with a hand on Russell’s chest just to make sure he kept breathing. That fear becomes a turning point that sobriety statistics cannot capture.

From there, we dig into what actually helped: stepping away from the bar scene, learning to pray beyond quick apologies, reading Scripture with people who can explain it in plain language, and trading self-reliance for grace. If you care about addiction recovery, fentanyl awareness, Christian faith, and the power of supportive community, this conversation offers a lived example of what change can look like day by day. Subscribe for more real stories, share this with someone who needs hope, and leave a review. What moment in Russell’s story felt most personal to you?

Transcript

Welcome And Russell Introduces Himself

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Thank you, brother. What's up, guys? Uh I'm Russell. Uh I've been on the island for uh probably about twelve years. Uh it's been a been a crazy twelve years.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Uh it's totally changed my life. Uh I got uh well we started out.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Uh I come down here, I was pretty much on the run from the law.

Running From The Law To The Island

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Uh I think all the outlaws run to the border, right? Uh I had warrants out from arrest, all kinds of crazy stuff. And when I got down here, I met a family and they took me in. And they really, I mean, just I wouldn't have been able to do it without them. Uh my buddy Fernando and his wife Alma and the kids, they gave me a chance to get my life straight. You know, and uh I didn't have a car, didn't have an ID. That's kind of rough to get away. Anyway, uh they they helped me out. We went through you know all the quotes and and before me getting my life straight. Uh then I got uh I got a job here on the island and one of the tattoo shops, and it just really flourished from there. But when I was in Dallas, uh before I even got to the island, uh I started out, I got a new job, and uh it was at a cabinet place, and I had never built cabinets before. I mean I figured I'm pretty good at doing stuff. Uh the first day on the job, I met the foreman, and this guy

Pride Leads To A Christmas Doorstep

SPEAKER_00 1:55

over the hood, he didn't understand respect. And uh, well, I was so full of pride that they wouldn't let me see anything else. So I was this guy walks in and he tells me, you're gonna do it my way, you're gonna do it the right way, or I'll take you out in the parking lot. Well, my pride showed up, and I was like, well, we'll see about that. You know. So that's the way I had a problem with it. Like I said, my pride, my ego went this high. So it was almost Christmas, so we took off Christmas Eve, and I went over to a brother man's house, and I had me a pocket full of pills, and I had already bought me some moonshine, and we didn't go halfway, man. When we did it, we went all the way. Um, other than I, I was telling my buddy, you know, this guy, man, it just stuck with me. I could not get this guy out of my head. And it insulted me, insulted my ego, I guess. So started, you know, going back and forth, and I started talking about this guy, and and of course, we've been voiding him all night. Okay, so it's about six o'clock in the morning, seven o'clock in the morning. And my buddy goes, Well, that goes right there. So William Moose and Pulls walked across the street. And I walked up to his house and I knocked on his door. Well, when the door opened, he looked at me and he's like, What are you doing? What are you doing in my house? Which was a valid question. By the time he stepped out on the floor uh in the porch, I thought he stepped back on that rock floor. Well, to take a swing, I was gonna take his jaw off. Because I was so hurt about him telling me he wouldn't meet. So I started across the street and went to I knocked on the door. Well, when I planted my foot like this, I was fixing to go forward. Right? About that time, a little girl, about two and a half, three years old, come out of the door. And she came right up to me and held her arms up, whoa, held her arms up like she wanted to be held. And that kind of shocked me. So I'm standing there looking at this little girl, I look over at the guy, and he's like, Well, pick her up, which kind of shocked me even more. So I picked this little girl up, and the foreman guy is so shocked. This little girl's just, you know, telling me all about Christmas in baby language. So I picked this girl up, and he's like, please come in my house. And I'm I'm really shocked by this time. So I walk into the guy's house holding this little girl, and I walk down the hallway into the living room, and his whole family is sitting in the living room, getting ready to have Christmas. And this little girl that I'm holding, she kind of, you know, how they want down. So I let her down, and she grabs my hand and she starts showing me the cookies and the presents and the tree and the just everything about Christmas. And you know, I'm I'm kind of digging it at this time, you know, I'm not really mad anymore. Well, you know, a couple of minutes go by, and the foreman kind of takes me off to the side. He's like, Look, man, I just want to let you know that we have just adopted this little girl. And she has come from an abusive family. And she uh, how do you say it? She just crawled into her little shell and didn't talk to anybody. Didn't recognize, I mean, she just didn't acknowledge anybody, she didn't try to talk to anybody, she just in her little shell, right? Until some drunk biker shows up. Anyway, I I meet the family, and I I actually spent like an hour and a half over there having Christmas morning with these people in their house, which was not my plan. Well, when I got I got ready to leave, and I'm shaking people's hands and wishing them Merry Christmas, and uh kind of thought I'd have charges by then. Well, anyway, you know, God used that little girl to stop my pride in its tracks, and it worked. Believe me, it worked. All that pride I had, you know, going to that guy's house, when that little girl walked out, it squashed everything. So that was uh that was pretty wild experience when God shows up like that. You know, when I was uh when I was a kid, my mom dragged me and my brother to church every Sunday. Could not stand going to church. Had to sit still, listen to some old guy talk about Jesus. But I had no idea that how many seeds were be plant were being planted at the time.

Addictions Cycle And No Rest

SPEAKER_00 7:56

When uh when I got on the island, I met a lot of people who were on fire for Jesus, you know, and it was very inviting for me, you know, and and I wanted to know more. And uh I tried to walk the line, you know, I tried to be a good Christian, and I tried to, you know, read the Bible as much as I could, read my devotional, and doesn't really do any good if you don't follow it. So I was still on the bar getting drunk, getting high, waking up each morning, you know, to looking into the guy looking at the guy in the mirror. Sometimes I didn't even recognize him. Sometimes I didn't even want to look in the mirror. But uh, you know, I chase good times more than I chase the Lord. And uh I mean I was I had to be the center of every party. I mean I had to know where it was happening. I could never get drunk enough, I could never get high enough, and I mean I let my family down, let my friends down. But the cool thing is when God comes and and finds you, all that changes. There was never rest, you know. I never I was always on the run, always going here, always going here. I never had any rest. Uh the you know, just uh that emptiness never went away. Uh and you know, like I said, we'd get drunk one night and then swear it up and down in the morning. We're not gonna do that again. I'm never gonna do that again. You know, and but by lunch, you know, four cups of coffee, two Gatorades, and a monster later, I was already making plans for that night. And uh the pills and the alcohol was supposed to kill the pain and the boredom. I mean, I would just I'd just drink just uh because I was bored. You know, and hindsight I could have done a lot better uh a lot more things. I looked at I looked to the pills and the alcohol before I looked to Jesus and it showed in my life. And I repeated this pattern for decades. And praise God, I'm just as healthy as I could be today and and got a sane mind-ish, you know. But uh the wicked runs, uh, and I wanted to I wanted to quote this Proverbs 28:1. The wicked run when no one's chasing them. And I was always running. I think the the turning point for me was when me and my son we decided to go to Mexico one day, and we always went to Mexico. Mexico's awesome. The problem with Mexico is you, if you're an addict, you can find anything

Proverbs And The Cost Of Running

SPEAKER_00 11:31

you want. So we would go over to Mexico and we would instantly hit up our pharmacy, get the pills, and we'd hit them margaritas, wash them pills down. And then we would go around, you know, shopping and eating tacos, nachos, whatever, have a great time, have a little buzz, and head on back home. Well, the time that we went, or the last time we went, we went by the pharmacy and got our pills, got our margaritas and our tacos, and something hit a little different this time. Because I was so used to, I had eaten pills and I knew what I knew how they affected me. I knew how many I could eat, I knew how much I could drink. That's how good I was at this. When those pills hit, when we leave, we got finished with all of our shopping, and when we go to leave, I went ahead and I took my last pill because I didn't want to, you know, cross the borders get in trouble. So when we get on our motorcycles, which wasn't a very smart idea, we get on our motorcycles, we start heading home. About that time, them pills hit me. But this time it wasn't codeine or Xanax, this time it was fentanyl. And my body did not know how to act. And that stuff's bad stuff, man. I didn't even know how to think. My son was behind me when we were riding our motorcycles, and all of a sudden he sees my head just kind of dip down. Well, I nodded off doing about 70 miles an hour. Went to sleep. He said that I went across two lanes of oncoming traffic and I almost went off the shoulder. And I think that's what he was praying for. No, I woke up and I came back across two lanes of traffic. So he sped up and he got he stopped me and he got me off my bike, and they got me to a friend's house, to where I was not an in I wasn't a danger to myself or anybody else on the highway. Well, the next morning I woke up and I was humbled, hung over, same as all the other times. This time was a little different. This time my son told me his version of what he witnessed.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Now I couldn't imagine watching somebody I love do that to themselves. I mean, I couldn't imagine watching my friend or my dad getting ready to die due to his bad decisions. I saw the fear in his eyes, and I know that he thought he was gonna watch me die.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

When he explained that to me, and he also the whole night, when I finally went to sleep, the whole night he kept his hand on my chest just to make sure I was breathing.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

When I woke up, he told me about it. And I'll never make him worry like that again.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

That was the last pill, that was the last drink of alcohol. And and I praise God every day that he's given me more than a second chance. He's given me a hundred second chances. But he's used the love I have for my son and used it to show me his love for me. Uh he's using love to transform me into the man that he wants me to be. And it was it was pretty easy to give it away to Jesus, you know, give it to him, tell him I I can't do it. You know, it was it was pretty apparent to everyone. But then my life started changing. You know, I started hanging out, I said, I quit going to the bars. Okay. Not that bars are a bad place. I like bars. But I quit going to the bars and I quit getting drunk and I quit getting just I quit doing things that was not me. Not what I'm designed to do. Uh I've been reading scripture like I've never read scripture before. I've had it explained to me. Uh, Sean does a great job explaining

Mexico Pharmacy And Fentanyl Scare

SPEAKER_00 16:39

things that I can relate to. Uh I have I have a lot of Christians around me that I can ask questions. You know, if I have any questions, y'all aren't gonna condemn me for oh, you don't know, you know. But uh I realized every step was built on humility and faith. And it has shown me where where I was falling and where I was failing. I mean, I actually started spending time with my Heavenly Father through prayer, and until we had had, until I went to a prayer meeting, like a the prayer and worship on Tuesday night, I had never in my life prayed for an hour. That was unbelievable to me. And it was as awesome as I can imagine. Uh my old prayers were, oh Lord, forgive me.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

I'm so sorry, you know, and uh I'll try harder. I'll do it better next time.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

But I never could. I it was it was I kept on relying on myself to fulfill all these things that I'm supposed to be giving to God. I was trying to do his job. But my new prayers were thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. You know, that's all I can think of is when I'm praying, is just thank you. I love you. You know, thank you for delivering me to this island, and thank you for giving me all these friends. Thank you for, you know, giving me the strength to walk up to other people and start talking about Jesus. I had never started, I had never told anybody about Jesus. Then I sat down, I'm getting a little off subject here, but I sat down with my ex-brother-in-law and started telling him about Jesus. And this was this past December. And the look on his face was hilarious. He's just like, He told me, he said, if you would have told me 10 years ago that you'd be sitting across the room from me telling me about Jesus, I'd have told you you were crazy. He said, I don't even recognize you. Right? That's awesome. Well God, he placed me in a church where I belong. He gave me purpose. And that's for the first time in my life, I've tried to be important and I've tried uh, you know, I've tried to I don't know how to say that. But he anyway, he surrounded me with good friends. Uh he surrounded me with people who love God, and they they just they uh go above and beyond, and and you see it in their faces and their actions every day. Uh the Lord gave me new desires, you know. I used to just want to go out and it was all about me. I was gonna go out and get drunk, I was gonna get a buzz and and and go out and do my thing. But now the the new desires, it's not religion, it's relationship. And I see that and I feel it every day. And you know, I'm I'm learning about grace, and that was a huge milestone in my life, just learning about grace.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

That's simple grace. And I'm no longer running, no longer afraid, no longer drunk, and I'm no longer empty. Because now I know what fills me, and I can't get enough of it. The Lord has put a new desire in my heart and all I want to do is serve.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

I mean, it really completes it, it fills my cup, man. It gives me everything that I want and need.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

I don't always get it right. But led by the Holy Spirit, it all falls into place.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

I can clearly tell the difference between me walking with Jesus and me walking without Jesus. Me trying to do it on my own because I really suck at it.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Uh I'm grateful to be alive, healthy, like I said, with a sane mind.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

And uh I know the Lord has me here for a reason on this island, and we're just getting started. So that's my testimony. Uh I It was kind of short,

Last Drink Last Pill New Life

SPEAKER_00 22:01

but uh this is the first time I've ever done this, so I was a little nervous this morning. I do want to thank everybody at this church, because y'all have no idea how y'all have held up a sinner like me. Just being around you guys and just seeing all your faces every Sunday is awesome.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Well, thank you very much.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Maybe space shall upon you, and he gracious to you, the Lord turns face towards you and gave me off. The Lord draws you and keep you make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turns face towards you and give things and keep him, make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you, Russia, and savour your family, and the thousand generations, and your family, and your children, the children, your children, their presence go before you, and behind you, and beside you, all around you, and within you, is with you, is with you in the morning, in the evening, and you're coming, and you're going, and you're weeping, and rejoicing, yes, for you, yes, for you, yes, for you.

Gratitude For Church And Closing Blessing

SPEAKER_02 27:10

Make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you. And give you peace.