Lesson 13: A Lingering Pain

“A Lingering Pain.”
Have you ever carried something inside that never quite let you go — a memory, a wound, or a moment that still echoes? In this episode, The TimeSmith opens the forge once more to talk about the lingering pains that shape us. Through faith, reflection, and raw honesty, he explores what it means to live with unresolved pain, how to face it without being consumed, and how grace becomes the tool for healing.
If you’ve ever struggled with letting go or wondered how to move forward with scars that remain, this one is for you.

Remember:
 If you feel unloved, you are loved.
 If you are lost, you can be found.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:09

Have you ever been lost in your thoughts? Randomness? A thought pops into your head, and you don't know where it came from. Many times it's your past, things that have happened that have not let you go. Why have they unlocked? Let's talk about that. Hi, I'm the Times Smith, and welcome back. This is season two, episode one, a lingering pain. I do appreciate you waiting. There was a lot of figuring out towards the end of season one. Really, can I continue to do this? Even though this is a podcast, this is about me sharing information, being transparent, allowing people to come into my life and to share in my memories. These memories that have tormented me, I've struggled physically in real life, it's helped me to advance, and overall, just the way I live. Before I start, I usually go through a process. My mind begins to break, my heart begins to break, and it's a reminder as to why I want to do this. I do want to cast a vision and share with you really what my purpose is. Not many people know, I think, exactly what they're supposed to do in this life. But I do know what I'm supposed to do. What I'm supposed to do is find a way to overcome this pain. What pain exactly? Well, you'll have to go back to season one. Feel free to scroll and maybe that's just my pitch that I want you to listen. I'll share a little bit right now as well. But today I want to talk about a lingering pain. The first thing that I think about is the Apostle Paul. When you read his story, you know that he became blind, he was a murderer, he had a really rough past. Well, and then he becomes a Christian, and somehow we're just supposed to believe him. But those things that were happening to him in the midst of him coming to the Lord, there was a blindness that hit him. On the road to Damascus, there was a bright light, and that bright light flashed his eyes, burning them, sealing them shut. You know, as a welder, which is my trade, if you don't use the mask and the lens provided to protect you from the arc flash, and you weld like that, uh, maybe five, ten minutes, the next morning your eyes will be extremely red, your eyes will be calloused, and you won't be able to open them. Not that I understand completely what that bright light did to the Apostle Paul, but I have a little bit of an understanding of what it might feel like when you can't open your eyes from a flash. Well, three days later or a couple days later, he goes to someone else, they prayed it for him, and just like that, his vision returns, and something like scales fall off his eyes. Not sure if he was totally healed. There's some scholars that believe in one of Paul's prayers, he states that he asked God to remove the thorn from his side. What exactly that thorn was, it doesn't say, except that the idea of having a thorn in your side is just that something that agitates, something that Paul prayed seriously to remove. Those examples are there for us to understand. Hmm. Why don't we step into the forge with that thought? We won't be going down today. I definitely want to stay up here. For those of you who have been listening, you'll remember that there's a staircase and then there's an elevator. Maybe for you, you haven't been here for a while, but I'm in here every day. Anyway, let's take a seat. Just look around, enjoy the view. Does it feel cold? Is it warm in here? Is it inviting? Look, this idea of Paul having a thorn in his side has to do with this message. It's a lingering pain. And what exactly is the lingering pain in your life? For me, it was sexual abuse. Every couple of days, not by choice, but the thought of what happened returns to me. Subtly, it creeps in. I can pick up on some triggers, and I think to myself, Alright, how do I stop this? I begin to pray, I begin to read the Bible, I exercise, sometimes it's a meal that I'll eat, maybe even a snack, a TV show, something to slow it down. But I will say this that sometimes that does not slow it down. When Paul prayed about the thorn in his side, he received an answer, maybe not the one he wanted to hear, but the answer was my grace is sufficient for you. Hmm. Grace. I think what we want sometimes is for it to be completely removed, and not just grace. It puts us into a head space at times that we say, I know exactly what will make me feel better. God has the answers. So this lingering pain, what is it in your life? And I can go over a few examples, maybe just so that we can connect. Maybe your father was in your life, but your mother wasn't. Maybe your mother was in your life, but your father wasn't. Maybe there was no parents. Maybe the parents you had fought day and night, and you grew up in a home that was full of turmoil. A young kid in your room covering yourself with a pillow, looking out the window, wanting to run, wanting to escape. Maybe there was abuse in your home of all sorts. Substance, alcohol, mental, verbal, sexual. Do you remember what happened? How are you doing today? Remember the forge is a place where you come and you sit down, storing memories, storing memories that have been resolved that we come to peace with. And that's not to say that everything is perfect. It's just that I accept where I'm at. So let me ask you, how many times have you talked about this lingering pain? Do you call friends up? Do you journal? Do you write? Do you sing songs of brokenheartedness? What is this lingering pain? And what is the remedy for a lingering pain? Hmm, for me it's hope. I hope that one day any suffering that I might have can go away. But sometimes hope makes the heart sick. You can wake up with full excitement, fully energetic, ready for the day, knowing and hoping something today is gonna happen. Today that thing is gonna happen. And the sun begins to go down, and the darkness covers the land, and you admit to yourself it didn't happen, and the heart becomes sick. That a hope delayed makes the heart sick. I have a hope that this lingering pain can be overcome, and in my daily life, I work at it in everything I do. I could do a well job, I can work on my car, I can interact, I could write. There's many things that I do in hopes that this pain can be overcome. I think we have to analyze what we're doing. I think we have to assess not everything that is being done can help you overcome this pain. If you're really on board with wanting to overcome it, you're gonna have to attack it, you're gonna have to get strong, and you're gonna have to accept that some of this lingering pain has developed bad habits in us. Everyone has bad habits, don't be fooled. Remember, I'm just a guy who wants to share. And my transparency is that no, I'm not the best Christian. No, I haven't overcome everything, my life is not perfect. But there are certain things that keep me moving. I have a willingness in my life to want to change, I have a willingness to want to serve. I actually really like serving at church, but it takes a willingness. That's one of the tools that I feel we have in the midst of imperfection. We're given characteristics that push us forward. People might not understand why you're so enthusiastic about going to church, going to a meeting, writing in your journal, working on the next project. They might not understand. Well, because they don't understand that that thing is what you're doing to make you healthy. We're not just laying down and allowing life to take over us. So when people don't understand and we want people's acceptance, it gets a little tiresome. I do hope that you're in a place in your life that you understand people pleasing gets us nowhere. Part of this lingering pain is sharing. Sometimes we want to share. We call people, we write, we podcast. You can find people that appreciate it, appreciate what you're saying. They enjoy your transparency, and you have the other group of people that just knock you down when you speak. We shouldn't get tired of our good doing, yes, which is the sharing part. The other side of it is we don't throw our pearls to the swine. So when do you determine that? Some people's tolerance is shorter than others. They could be hurt by a person once or twice, and then they give up on them totally. No forgiveness, just cut them off. And some people go years. Years of not abuse, but just accepting how people are, that people are rash, that people are abrasive, that people don't care. Well, those people could be your spouse, those people could be your children, those people can be your parents, those people can be your friends, not necessarily the people you want to give up on. Well, you might say, Timesmith, what exactly are you saying? Well, I'll say this is that you must practice discretion. You don't need to share with everyone. But I share because I have info, I have information, and there's a possibility that I'm further than most. Again, remember, I come from sexual abuse, I come from domestic violence, I come from early age drug addiction, I come from gangs, violence, and how much of that is still alive in me? Well, I would hope that it's not much. So what is that lingering pain in your life? You know, when I come in here and my lingering pain is on the sixth floor. My lingering pain is there when I want to see it, when I feel like I need to analyze it, when it draws me in, that lingering pain damages my life. So there's times that I have to separate myself from that. There's times that I can't let it take control of me, but I'm a person that touches, I'm a person that interacts, and I want to know that lingering pain because I let it eat at me for so long, cause damage in other areas of my life, my relationships, my friendships, all of it because I didn't know how to handle it. Meaning, if you place something in your hand, you are handling it. Some people know how to handle weapons, some people know how to handle uh tools, some people know how to handle machinery, everything from, in my case, welding machines to a sewing machine. I'm no good at sewing on a machine, but I've seen people do that. I've seen people crochet. I am no good with those tools. But there's a set of tools that you've been given that are yours specifically to handle the issue that's in your life and this lingering pain. Are you using those tools to handle what's in your life because you are equipped? You're equipped with praise, you're equipped with thankfulness and appreciation, you're equipped with being able to talk. If there's any physical difficulties and you're listening to this and you're saying, Well, I can't do those things, maybe you can't walk physically, maybe you can't speak physically, but you've managed to live this life in a certain way that you've gotten to this point. Resourcefulness. Be resourceful in your lingering pain. Do not just lay down. Anyway, I hope that you guys are all doing well today. And I'll end this episode here. We will continue, or meaning, I will continue. My son has been helping me with the audio portion of this. So we will continue to try to produce as many episodes as possible. I hope that you're enjoying them. Please remember to study on these matters. If you read the Bible, dig in. If you pray, dig in, and we can find the hope of overcoming this lingering pain together. Remember, if you are lost, you can be found. If you feel unloved, you are loved. I am a Timesmith. God bless you.