Alexa Kinney | BAD DOG PODCAST w/ Austin Bohannon and Hunter Kiel #33

This week on BAD DOG PODCAST, Austin and Hunter sit down with Alexa Kinney for one of the wildest and most honest conversations we’ve had yet.

Alexa opens up about the financial scheme that led to her federal case, hearing that she could be facing decades behind bars, taking responsibility for the choices she made, and ultimately serving two years in federal prison. She takes us inside the reality of being arrested, sitting in county jail, navigating prison life, meeting unforgettable people along the way, and finding moments of humor in some unbelievably dark situations.

But this episode is about more than prison stories. Alexa gets real about trauma, accountability, hitting rock bottom, the people who stood by her, and the change that happened when she finally had to face herself.

It’s raw, hilarious, heavy, and surprisingly hopeful — exactly the kind of conversation you only get on Bad Dog.

Subscribe for more episodes of BAD DOG PODCAST with Austin Bohannon and Hunter Kiel.

#BadDogPodcast #AlexaKinney #TrueStory #FederalPrison #Podcast #PrisonStories #Redemption #AustinBohannon #HunterKiel

RUFF RUFF

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:05

Funny enough, the uh the best picture for the White Sox is from Florence. Yeah, from Gary Taylor. Yeah, Graham Taylor, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:11

He's our he's our closer, probably our best guy.

SPEAKER_05 0:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 0:13

All right. Well, we are back in the lab. We have Alexa Kinney with us. Uh a little backstory on uh how we met. I was playing at Justin's house, which God love you, Justin. Thank you for letting us shoot here. I was gonna claim all this stuff is mine, but uh I'm gonna let you have this one. Thank you, man. And keep doing big things with that hotel. We're looking forward to, I'm looking forward to staying in there, maybe on a house. I don't know. I'm telling you. But uh, I was playing at Justin's one night and Alexa was there and she was telling her story, which we're gonna dive into. And it's one of those stories where like you hear it and you're just like, no way. You know, like, oh my God. Like, I I think I have a cool story, but I'm just like, you know, this middle of middle of the pack, come from a middle income family, pretty regular vanilla missionary guy here. Let me tell you. Just you know, I didn't have much struggle growing up, you know. I didn't get bullied. I don't know, you know, went to a pretty decent school. Uh, you know, so I don't have some, I don't have that good of stories to tell, but she uh she has lived through some stuff that's awesome, and we're gonna dive into it. So we just wanted to give you like a bad dog welcome and say thank you for coming along.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Well, thank you for having me. Yes, this is gonna be a good time.

SPEAKER_03 1:15

We've had a good time so far while uh my dumbass didn't plug the batteries up. And so I was like, what do y'all think about going to dinner instead of podcasting for an hour? So we went to the woods where Rachel works and we had some drinks, and uh, I guess we pregamed a little bit, we got ready for it.

SPEAKER_04 1:30

That's what it's about is chalking it up.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Well, you gotta kind of calm the nerves, you know. It's kind of one of those things that it's like bringing up old shit that you're not like, do I want to talk about it? But yeah, you absolutely want to talk about it.

SPEAKER_04 1:40

Yeah, it just figured out.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Yeah, but that's all helps out.

SPEAKER_04 1:43

Give us a woof woof before you go. That's typically what we do.

SPEAKER_06 1:48

Woof woof.

SPEAKER_04 1:51

Fantastic. You must have a dog at home.

SPEAKER_06 1:54

I don't. I want a dog.

SPEAKER_04 1:56

Thomas, you gotta get a dog. I'm ready for a dog. Thomas, that's your hand-hint right there, buddy. You better get my dog immediately, buddy.

SPEAKER_03 2:02

So uh looking at Alexa, you wouldn't know. I mean, I don't know how you want to dive into your story, you want to start it, but you wouldn't know that she uh she has served some time, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Yes, I have two years in federal prison.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

It's mad.

SPEAKER_04 2:14

It's actually hilarious and fantastic.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

It's like I was telling her earlier, like, like if we if I was just bellying up to a bar and she was next to me and she's like, Yeah, well, you know, when I was in prison, I'm like, what the hell? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Yeah, I don't, I and I understand that I don't when you look at me, it's not like, oh, you did two years in federal prison, and I am grateful for that amount of time simply because it could have been a lot more, right? But at the same time, you go to prison, and prisons are full of doctors and lawyers and financial consultants and all kinds of people from like the horrible stories all the way on up to the richest of the rich. And so there's really no mold when it comes to what someone looks like when they're white collar versus blue-collar crime, that kind of thing. Absolutely, absolutely. Well, it's funny you say that there was this woman there who a serious like lived in Bridgeport, Connecticut, soccer mom, and everyone's like, Oh, she's a white-collar criminal. And I was like, that's too easy. She's like the mom who had like a hundred pounds of meth in her minivan. No, she was there for like millions of dollars of white collar of wire fraud. But, you know, it's just like there is a certain look to the white-collar criminal in prison. I will say that.

SPEAKER_04 3:21

I can I can imagine.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

That's the cool crowd, like, you know, like going to jail for drug trafficking, child trafficking, not cool. No, you know, going to jail for kind of sticking it to the or whatever, you know, it's like going to jail for something to do with money, which they steal from us, by the way. They take enough from us. It's badass. And there's some camaraderie thing, you know, with the people that are like, I like that.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

So it's funny that you say the camaraderie, right? Because on the outside, people are like, oh, it's white collar. It's just some money, it's no big deal. Pay the money back. It is what it is. Inside, when you're everyone thinks these white collar criminals, like, we we think we're better than everyone else.

SPEAKER_04 3:54

Oh, okay. It's like the rich kids in school.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

Yes, it's like it's the like, oh, you think you're better than everyone else. And I was like, I'm sorry, what are you here for? They're like, oh, well, exploiting a minor. I'm like, well, yeah, I am. You know what I mean? Like, there's there's levels to the crimes, right? Just because we are the same color does not mean that our crimes are at all the same.

SPEAKER_05 4:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Um, but yeah, so it's it's it's funny that like white-collar crimes are perceived in society way different than they are when you're in prison.

SPEAKER_04 4:22

Oh, yeah. Like insider trading is a little different than stabbing your husband to death. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Although I will say had some good conversations with those women.

SPEAKER_04 4:33

Really?

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:35

They probably actually they probably did it for good reason.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

100%.

SPEAKER_04 4:39

Like their husbands beat the shit out of them and then they stabbed them to death. I would I would promote the stabbing. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Yeah, Muda. So this is there was a woman there. We called her Muda. She was from Haiti. She was this big time stockbroker in the 90s, and her husband used to beat the piss out of her.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

Oh, then he deserved every stab.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

So she killed him. She got life in prison.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

Yeah, but why don't they like let up on her for that? Like that's it's like, you know, in Alabama, you can shoot somebody when they try to break into your home. Why can't you stab your husband to death whenever he's beating the hell out of you?

SPEAKER_00 5:07

Probably the circumstance, because I I if I remember.

SPEAKER_04 5:11

Yeah, a little bleach in the coffee every day.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

Well, if I if I remember the aspects of her crime correctly, she did it while he was sleeping, so there was no imminent danger. Um but so she now I I loved Muda. So she now suffers from dementia. So, and she's at where I was at, and she's like a little child, like she doesn't know where she's at. Um but there's no one that she can go home to, so they can't let her out. Um, I remember I'd be like, Muda, would you do it again? She looked at me, yes, I would.

SPEAKER_04 5:40

That's bad. It's like in longest yard when that old man says every goddamn second of it.

unknown 5:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

That's what I think of when I think of prison. Like I just my mind immediately goes to the longest yard for some reason. Oh, yeah. Before we dive all the way into prison, let's uh, because I I definitely want to spend some time on that. Like, what's uh like how how how did we get there, right? You know, like yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

So I take full responsibility for the crime that I committed. Um, it was my choices. Um I took money that didn't belong to me, right? It was a financial scheme. Um the federal government wanted to portray it as I preyed on this innocent person, and and that's just simply not what happened. Her and I had a history. Um and she just she was a habitual gambler. And um shut up.

SPEAKER_04 6:29

Sorry, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Not but like a habitual gambler in a sense of like shouldn't have been one, right? Like she'd had a history of you know, but this is all based on what she told me, right? It's not a matter of what was in my case, but you know, she was a fraudster too, right? It's not like she's some innocent person that just happened to be like wandering in my room.

SPEAKER_04 6:51

You didn't prey on it, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:53

Like like the government wanted to portray, um, which which was hard for me in the beginning, right? Because they wanted to portray this narrative of I'm like, well, it didn't go down that way. That's not what happened. Um, but that doesn't negate what I did, but it didn't go down the way that they said it. So her and I had a history, and she wanted me to invest this money, and I made it very clear like I'm not a lawyer, I'm not a financial advisor, like, but if you want to give it to me, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 7:19

1800 gambler, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

Yeah, so I I walk we walked in the next day to the bank. I gave my ID, I did everything, I did not hide what gambler. Right, so she and she was blowing through this money that she had gotten it as an inheritance and win winnings from her gambling days, and she knew she needed to preserve it. Um she uh like she knew I wasn't a lawyer, she knew I wasn't a financial advisor. I made that very clear. It wasn't like it wasn't me seeking her out, she actually asked me to do it. Um, and I kind of refused, refused, and then one night I was like, fuck it, yeah, give it to me, I'll I'll I'll figure it out. I walked in the next day to the bank, I walked out with a cashier's check of $168,000, and I I mean I gave my ID, there was no qualms about it. Like I was not trying to be fraudulent about who I was or the intentions or anything like that, and then you know, COVID hit, and next thing I know, I'm being indicted by the federal government. Like it was, it was, you know, sorry to laugh. No, that's that's that's literally what it was because like you know, uh next thing we know, I'm getting I'm getting a phone call from an IRS agent, and it's like, do you know about this? And you're like, Yeah, I do. And I didn't, to be honest, didn't even realize it was a crime. Um, because in my mind, I hadn't, you know, I mean, was I deceitful? Sure. Did I lie? Absolutely, but in my mind, it wasn't like I had preyed on this woman. You know, it was just I hate God, this is gonna make me sound terrible, but it is the truth. Like the opportunity kind of fell into my lap and I took advantage of it, and I and I shouldn't have, and I fully admit I was in the wrong, and I no one held a gun to my head. I made the choices on my own. The choices that sent me to prison were of my own doing, and I take full responsibility for that.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

Did she kind of set you up or no?

SPEAKER_00 9:08

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

Like it went wrong.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

It just went wrong. It just went, it was, you know, I I was not in a good mental space. I was at a dark time. Um, you know, a lot of things had happened in my life before that, from abusive relationships to grief and all kinds of things that led me to make the choices that I made. And while that's not an excuse, right? Yeah, it is it offers an explanation as to I got a big question.

SPEAKER_04 9:34

Was she at least was she a uh was she a good person or a bad person?

SPEAKER_00 9:38

In my opinion, no, she's not a good person.

SPEAKER_04 9:39

Okay, so it's like if a tiger kills a, you know, your little dog, it's fine. But if a tiger kills a coyote, it's like, oh, it's part of the game, you know, you chalk it up.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

So one thing I will say since I've since my case and going through, I have since learned that everyone in the city that knew her, let's put it this way, she was I don't want to say she had it coming.

SPEAKER_04 9:59

We can cut this out.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

I don't want to say she had it coming, but yeah, she had it coming. Karma's karma.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

And and I guess what I got my karma. I went to prison, I did my time that the Fed said I needed to do. I paid the money back. Like it is, you know.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

Oh yeah. Well, you you said you were in a dark place. Do you think that maybe like looking back at hindsight, you think maybe you needed it? Maybe you like maybe not to the full extent, but do you think maybe like you were out of control and 100%.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

I was on a downward spiral. I had been on a downward spiral um for a few years. And I I like to think back how my mental was those years ago, it's it's hard to even really kind of understand what my thought process was because it just wasn't it wasn't okay. It wasn't normal. It was, I was depressed, you know. I had when you're in a psychologically and emotionally abusive relationship, that changes you in ways that like to be honest with you, he was so psychologically and emotionally abusive. I just wish I'd rather he'd beat my ass, right? Because then I would have known. Yeah, like I pushed me down a flight of stairs rather than just ignore me and call me fat and call me names, like that. Yeah, and still to this day, that trauma is real. And people who are like, unless you've gone through something like that, it's it's it messes with your Muda should have stabbed him, huh?

SPEAKER_05 11:17

Probably.

SPEAKER_04 11:19

They should have stabbed the hell out of him. Yeah, I'm gonna call you have Muda's number, she's still is she still living? She's got dementia. I know that, but if I need somebody, you know, wow, you know, I'm gonna call you. Sorry to unlighten the mood there, but I'm with you.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Like, yeah, I mean, because everyone always asks, like, what you know, I don't have a sad story, right? I grew up perfectly normal. I went to schools, I went to college, I had amazing parents who provided an awesome lifestyle for me. I never wanted for anything. So the choices that led me to prison were that of my own and not of any influence. Yeah, it wasn't because I had you know an excuse in my childhood because I didn't. It I didn't. I I have to own that, and that's that's hard to say because you want to blame someone else.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

It's easy to I I can't. I did it myself.

SPEAKER_03 12:10

Yeah, so you're so you get arrested and you're looking at what'd you say, 10 years?

SPEAKER_00 12:15

No, 60 years or yeah, it was it was 60 when I started what is that feeling like sweet shit.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

Like, what is like yeah, how can if you could describe it in words, which I know it'd be hard to do, like stomach was in my ass. I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

So like I don't I I don't like it.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

Sorry, though.

SPEAKER_04 12:33

Mine feels like mine is right. Yeah, for those jalapeno curds we ate. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

So I had gotten arrested. It was a Friday morning, and I got arrested at like 11 o'clock in the morning. And we had to drive two and a half hours to get to court. So the feds historically like to arrest people on Friday afternoons and Friday mornings, so you have to sit all weekend in jail before you can see a judge.

SPEAKER_04 12:59

Yep. Um Wow, that's a true statement. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

It's absolutely awful. Um, so I had to go in front of a magistrate, and so I stood up and he said, you know, Miss Kinney, like this is what you're charged with wire fraud, lying to the or making false statements and something else. Oh, and money laundering. So I was looking at uh several counts. Yeah. Um and so it means like the the punishment is if served like the maximum is like zero to sixty years, and the amount I I don't remember the amount off the top of my head, because to be honest with you, once I heard that, like nothing else you drowned out, I was just like you know, it it doesn't you hear it, but to like fully process it didn't happen. Um and then they you know, you they have you in a cell underneath like the courthouse. So I went in the courthouse or went into that cell, got all loaded up, and then I went to you're in a they bring you in in like what they call a Sally port. So like the van goes in like a little garage, so they can't actually you can't see anybody.

SPEAKER_04 14:07

So you didn't see the outside.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

No, no, I was I call it the dog hatcher van. It's like the windows are like all blocked out, and they've got like the cameras and the red light. So you're like, you know, and I was with a girl who had just gotten sentenced, and I was with some guys, and I was like, Oh, surely I'll get out, you know. Uh and I'm like, What's what's happening to me? And it was like six o'clock at night when we were headed to the detention facility, hadn't talked to anyone, no one knew where I was at.

SPEAKER_04 14:36

Because you don't have a phone, yeah. So your parents can't talk to you, nobody around you, Thomas can't nobody can talk to you.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

No one knew where I was at. So, you know, and then you have to get booked in, right? You it's like squat and cough, strip down, like get into jail clothes.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

Like, make sure you're not toting nothing or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

Yeah, all dignity and any sort of decency goes right out the window when you get arrested.

SPEAKER_04 15:01

Oh wait, hold on before you continue. So hearing 60 years had to have been like hearing life in prison, right? For me, that's basically it.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Yeah, so I was 30 at the time. I had to do that. Oh, then that's like life in prison. 60 years would have been a life sentence. Even to be honest with you, even like 40 or 40 years, 30 years would have been a decent life sentence.

SPEAKER_04 15:20

So yeah, that's like hearing that. That's like saying, hey, you're gonna spend the rest of your life in prison.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Yeah, now like hindsight 2020 and knowing what I know now, um, they tell you that, but that's not all the ultimate reality. That's just the initial, like, this is what it could be. Max penalty, but yeah, max penalty. But like there's also the chance of zero time, like zero months, right?

SPEAKER_04 15:42

They want you to hear that though. They they have to put the fear of God in you, I guess. It worked. Also, I guess like that. Aim high because you know, if they aim low and then they go, you can't go above what they should say. Maybe we were talking about this earlier, like psychology other has to be if they tell you 60 years, you may take a stronger plea agreement. Like, oh, I may take 10 years because hell, I don't want to deal with 60, but you really only shouldn't have served any of that, right? You're actually serve at all.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

They're like 60 years, tell us what you know.

SPEAKER_04 16:08

And if they say, hey, seven years, you're like, okay, actually that sounds way better than 60.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

You know, it's like a so ultimately, like, and a lot of people don't know this, but most criminal cases, I would say at least 95 to 98 percent of criminal cases end in a plea deal. Right. They don't actually go to trial.

SPEAKER_04 16:26

Go to trial and have to it's like better calls all that was all kind of bullshit. They're just gonna send everything to trial and you gotta have one hung juror or whatever, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Yep, and I and I might be a little off on my statistics. No, it's probably true. It's something very it's the amount of plea deals in not just the feds but in state too, like most criminal cases end in a plea deal simply because it's favorable for both parties. Well, so they say, right? It's favorable for both parties. Um, yeah. So because I so I was arrested, I never actually was indicted by a grand jury. So I waived my right to a federal grand jury indictment. I was arrested on a federal complaint, right? So yeah, what does that mean, right? So someone had alleged that I had wronged them. So I was I was arrested, yep. So but the one thing about the feds is is versus the state court is the feds have their case built and ready to go w at the time of your arrest or your indictment. Okay, whereas like state, they get alerted of a crime and then they have to go build their case.

SPEAKER_03 17:29

Oh, so they've been they had been building it. Yes, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

And I had known I was under investigation for quite some time at that point, so it was not a this was not a quick do this right here.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Yeah, just a little bit. Yep, there you go. Okay, that's probably better. Is that better?

SPEAKER_00 17:44

So I had known. Um I thought I had there wasn't gonna be a case, to be honest with you, because we hadn't heard, but turns out I was wrong.

SPEAKER_04 17:53

Um so 10 months though, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

And that that mindfuckery of waiting and wondering and then thinking it's dismissed or thinking they don't have anything, that that did suck. I had no peace.

SPEAKER_05 18:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

And you know, at the time I wanted to blame everyone else. And but looking back on it, like it was my fault. I 100% was where it was at because of my choices. Um so yeah, so that mind like so. The plea deal, right? When they kind of like you're looking at 60, I'm like, oh my god, I I I I can't do 60 years.

SPEAKER_04 18:27

I can't that's life in prison. You're 30, uh, you're gonna be 90. Nobody lives the 90 now. Not in prison unless you're them not in prison, though. Unless you don't drink. Well, not even in prison.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

I in prison, I think like you can drink in prison though, right? Oh, if they got someone.

SPEAKER_04 18:42

We'll talk about that in a second. Yeah, I can't wait to talk about that.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

But like, you know, I mean, you see like the articles, but at 75 in prison, that's an old age. 75 in prison is old. So, whereas out here, it's a lot of people are still working at 75. It's just, you know, quality of life.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:59

So yeah, and reading the city.

SPEAKER_03 19:01

Did you ever think about just fleeing the country? Like, I mean, during that 10 months, well, that during that 10 months where you're like, I'm I might be under an investigation. Back of my head, I'd be like, I mean, if I could pack up, go to Costa Rica, get the fuck out of here, man.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

No, I didn't. Simply because I didn't think I did anything that wrong. Right? I thought it was a civil matter.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

Yeah.

unknown 19:19

Right.

SPEAKER_03 19:19

But you knew what they were investigating you for. Like you knew it for that one thing.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

Oh, so it's way different.

SPEAKER_04 19:23

Civil court and criminal court, way different. Correct, correct.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

So, like, I I honestly was like, you know, I didn't hear from them, so I thought, okay, they're not gonna prosecute me. It's not, they're gonna kick it to civil court. They were just trying to scare me and this, that, or whatever. Boy, was I wrong.

SPEAKER_03 19:37

Did you take a plea deal?

SPEAKER_00 19:38

I did.

SPEAKER_03 19:39

Okay, and so I mean that's uh essentially is like it's not necessarily an omission to guilt, but it is, right?

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Yes, so okay, so I got arrested in October of 21.

SPEAKER_04 19:50

Um, and then I Braves won the World Series in that that month.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

I missed it. I missed it, I think.

SPEAKER_04 19:56

Yeah, I'm sorry you missed it, but I was Braves won the World Series in October 21. We should admit. I was going through it, but when I drank 30, 30 days in a row. Anyway, continue. Sorry.

SPEAKER_06 20:05

I think I was going through some things at the time.

SPEAKER_03 20:07

Yeah, she probably had yeah, she probably wouldn't keep it up with the bread.

SPEAKER_04 20:09

I'm really sorry. Yeah, that was a fantastic month for us, but continue, sorry. So sorry, I'm really sorry.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

I so I thought, like most people think, right, I didn't commit murder, I didn't commit a violent crime, I'm gonna get out on bond, I'm gonna get out on pretrial. So I got arrested on a Friday, um, and then I had to sit the weekend, and then my um detention hearing was scheduled for a Wednesday at 8 a.m. And it was a Zoom hearing because this was still COVID.

SPEAKER_04 20:37

Oh shit. Oh God. Do you have to wear a mask? Yes, Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

Yep. So and it was my kid, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:45

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

No, you're good. My detention hearing was maybe two minutes, three minutes long. Um, simply because the prosecutor she came at me swinging and saying things that I had done. I'm like, Are we talking about the same person?

SPEAKER_04 21:03

Yeah, it didn't even sound like things you've done.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

And I'm just like, hold the phone. And uh like I was like, whoa. My mom is sitting in the courtroom, just like, you know, she's she's doing the time with me, you know, like what in the heck is going on? They've never been through something like this, so they're just as shocked and flabbergasted. And um, you know, and I was pissed off at the time because my lawyer didn't really fight for me. So I was like, Judge, like your honor, like this is what I have going for myself. This is what I'll do if you let me out. And he was just like, I'm gonna stop you right there. You're not getting out, you're detained, you're a flight risk, you're deemed a he didn't say a threat to society, but just deemed that I wasn't, it wasn't appropriate that I was in society. God. Which, you know, I'm I'm like, wait, what did I do? Thinking that like they're gonna supersede this indictment. I'm like, wait, what what did I do?

SPEAKER_04 21:52

Shoot somebody in a quick trip? Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:54

And I'm like, so like I'm told I'm being detained, I'm not getting out, right? And but you don't have. Have leaving a detention hearing like that in the feds. I didn't have another court date. I didn't know the next time I was getting in front of the judge. I didn't know it was gonna happen. And I was like, so I that I was I passed out, they had to take me to the hospital. My they because they hadn't given me the appropriate heart medication. So things were all over. Um, and it was it was wild.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

And this is before you went to county?

SPEAKER_00 22:26

I was this was in county, so this was at so it's a federal detention facility, which is a county jail.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

Gotcha, gotcha. But your dog shit, right?

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Yeah. Oh god. Which, okay, as far as county jails go, this one wasn't that bad. Um, in terms of like the facility, because it was a new facility. They they made all their money off of being a federal holding facility, right?

SPEAKER_06 22:44

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Um, because there's was there was only two in the region. So, and that was where everybody went.

SPEAKER_04 22:50

This is in Wyoming, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 22:52

Oh, I was in Nebraska. I was being held still.

SPEAKER_03 22:57

Yep, I was in the same lights are on 24-7.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

They call it a pod. So I was in the same housing pod. Um, and so for the first, what was it, five months I was there? I was in what they called G Pod, which was this little room, right? It was an open, they call it open bay, so no cells, no doors. Um, and it was four people to this room, and it was I I mean, probably the size of a regular bedroom. Like it wasn't very big. Okay, and there were four of us in there.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

Little blankies, no mattress.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

We did have a mat. So, and I I don't know how my lawyer swamped, like I had a decent mat, like I had good blankets.

SPEAKER_04 23:36

I was on a memory foam mat.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

I was on blood thinners so I could get more blankets because I was always cold.

SPEAKER_04 23:43

Oh, very nice. Little eloquence in the in the in the fan.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

Well, and this this facility was small enough, so I don't know if it was something that they was in the water, if it was just distress, but I would like I was getting really bad cystic acne, like where it was like my face was swelling up. Well, the facility was like, Well, if you get money on your books, like just let us know. We'll go to Walmart, like whatever face wash that you want. So they were buying me the face wash I wanted.

SPEAKER_04 24:07

Like, I mean, I believe it.

SPEAKER_00 24:09

It wasn't hard like as far as county facilities go, it was probably one of the better ones in the country.

SPEAKER_04 24:13

Yeah. Um now were the um, how do you say it? Like the guard, not guards, but I'm sure at county, it's probably just we call it the police. The police the police. Police officers there.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

No, you have to say the police. The police.

SPEAKER_04 24:24

That's how they say it in the police. The damn police. Are they nice at least there at county?

SPEAKER_00 24:29

Absolutely, they were. I I got a hand to that county facility. Um, they were great. They treated you like you're human beings. Um the nursing staff, like you weren't just some sack of shit.

unknown 24:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Right. Like, as long as you were good to them, they were good to you, right? And I mean, you see them like they're your babysitters, right? They were coming in the pot every hour. So you develop relationships with these people because you're there for so long, right? Like us feds, we weren't leaving and we couldn't work, right? You couldn't have a job. Like some people are like, Oh, I got a job in County. Well, the feds weren't allowed to do that because if we fell and got hurt, it was a risk and a liability for the marshals.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

Uh so you're still thinking, are you still in the headspace too that you're about to be like you're you're facing 60 years?

SPEAKER_00 25:12

No, I was not in that headspace. I was in the headspace of like, I'm getting out. Okay, I'm gonna figure out something or I'm saying that. Yeah, yeah. So so that's bullshit.

SPEAKER_04 25:24

You're not gonna serve all that. It better be.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Yeah, so my lawyer was like, Well, you're not gonna get 60 years. She's like, Don't even think like that. And I was like, Okay, thank you. And I I gotta hand it to my attorney and her paralegal. They they were as comforting as they could be. I don't want to say that I was their favorite client because I probably wasn't. Um, but you know, in the grand scheme of things, the time I was looking at was minuscule to some of the other stuff that they were dealing with, right? To me, it was all the time in the world. Like it was all you have left. Yeah. So I'm like, oh my God, I can't do like I couldn't sitting in there day to day, right? Like I remember the first Thanksgiving, I was locked up, right? Like, I just I could not imagine doing another month in there or doing, let alone two years, right? Like that, just you can't conceptualize the fact that you're gonna be in the same spot month after month. Yeah, there's no hope. There's no hope, and that's what county county truly is hard time. County's hard and the mindfuckery, and because where I was at, right? Most county facilities, if they're federal detention facilities, they separate the feds from the county. They didn't do that with us, so I was within with all the bullshit that was.

SPEAKER_03 26:36

Were they bringing drugs in and shit, smoking bobble paper cigarettes?

SPEAKER_00 26:41

And they would steal shit and like because I I I gotta hand it to my my parents. They I was comfortable, right? They they took care of me. I didn't want for anything. My mom sent in books and coloring books because what else are you gonna do with your west side of Florence for about yeah?

SPEAKER_03 26:57

I mean, you're not gonna just sit there and scroll through Instagram.

SPEAKER_04 27:00

Yep, nope, you're not gonna be able to do that. There's no brain rotten. Yeah, there's no brain rot there.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

Yeah, so I I read a lot of books, a lot of books, um, and played a lot of cards, a lot of cards.

SPEAKER_03 27:11

Um you're good at rummy or something, something like something sounds like it was like it was good for your brain, though. Like you're doing a lot of stuff. You probably read books anyway, but like my dumbass, I haven't read a book in years. I don't need to go to jail, but I need to sit down and like maybe read a damn book. You know what I mean? Like I'm saying, like I'm up that aspect, I'm like, well, it could be good. Like you got away from the toxic world for a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

It's it saved me because um I hit the newspapers. Um, cool. No. Um I like newspapers.

SPEAKER_04 27:41

I read the courier journal.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Well, maybe like the the online social media, like I I made my rounds and it was, you know, the from a perspective of news media, right? Like they got to sell papers. So if had I been out, I would have wanted to try, like that would have given me so much anxiety, and that would have that would have been mentally. I don't know of how I would have survived that. So the fact that I was locked away and hidden from that, it did protect me.

SPEAKER_06 28:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

Um it protected me from myself, if that makes sense. Um, and it it got me to understand of like, hey, you're the problem, right? But at the same time, like it's hard to really change in county jail, especially when you're waiting on a federal indictment, because I had no idea how long I was gonna be there. I had no idea if I was actually going to prison, if I was gonna go home. I every day it was like, well, what the fuck's gonna happen today?

SPEAKER_03 28:32

Yeah, chili dogs today again. Okay. All right, damn. It can't be chili dogs, right? It's five of chili dogs.

SPEAKER_04 28:40

I love chili dogs. It can't be chili dogs in prison. What's in county? Do they really? Soy meat? I don't it's a real meat. I would eat 50 chili dogs before I eat one piece of soy meat.

SPEAKER_05 28:51

You're gonna it doesn't matter what it is, you're gonna eat.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

I know I don't have dogs. It doesn't matter you're gonna eat, you're gonna eat whatever you get. Yeah, and you have to whoop the other guy's ass or bribe him to get his chili dog. You ain't gonna get 50 of them.

SPEAKER_04 29:03

There's four people in the same damn it, I have to eat another chili dog. I would love a chili dog. That'd be badass, dude. But not soy meat, that would turn me off there.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

It was, I mean, I was kind of thinking prison was cool.

SPEAKER_04 29:13

Now I'm not thinking it's cool.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

This is county, we're not at prison yet. So this is just county jail.

SPEAKER_04 29:17

Oh, this is county jail. So county is county is way different.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

County is way different, and okay, like all the cakes and the rolls and all the shit that they feed you just to fill you up, you're like, I can't, I can't do this. Um, you know, and I mean, and even like all the ramen noodles and the tortillas and the bag of refried beans, and you're like, I can't, I just did you ever like say I'm gonna fast for a week or two? Yeah, there was well, and there's a rule too, right? If you refuse so many trays at mealtime, you have to go on suicide watch because that's not it's not mentally acceptable to refuse so many amount of food.

SPEAKER_04 29:50

Okay, so you can't say, Hey, I'm gonna go 40 days here. Nope, nope, 49.

SPEAKER_03 29:54

40 days for like Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 29:56

I was just wondering.

SPEAKER_03 29:57

I mean, it's a good question. No, how many days till you get on suicide watch in jail?

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Uh no, it's quick. It's very quick.

SPEAKER_03 30:03

So, like three meals.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Yeah, it's it's yeah, if you refuse three, they put you on suicide.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

I'm not eating today, boys. I'm fasting. I'm not gonna kill myself. I'm trying to find God and it's Ramadan, man. Give me a fucking break. Well, I would just like seven. Damn. It's a seven day.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Like, I would just, if I wasn't gonna eat, I would just grab my tray and give it to like one of the girls who came in who clearly hasn't eaten in like a month or he's like withdrawing, right? So that's what I did. Um, but there was this girl in there, Sarah. Um, she was bona fide crazy.

SPEAKER_04 30:38

Um like mean crazy or like just batch it crazy.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Both absolutely one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

SPEAKER_04 30:46

Funny?

SPEAKER_00 30:46

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 30:47

I I love, I need to hear this now. If she's funny, I need to hear it.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

Oh Sarah. So she could not be out in like general population, so they had her on 23 and one. But you could go to the cell and like what does that mean, 23 and 1? So she was locked down for 23 hours and then she would get one hour out a day, right? And that was after we were already all locked in our cells.

SPEAKER_04 31:09

Oh, I see. So she couldn't be around anyone.

SPEAKER_00 31:11

No, except in prison. This was in county facilities. She's like six dogs in a kennel and she's out of the kennel for one hour, and you're all like, this is so this is still in county, and uh she so she was so on misdemeanor charges, but she was deemed incompetent, so they had to wait for a bed for her to go to the state facility to be deemed competent, which was months, right? So she was months waiting in county with no bail on a misdemeanor charge.

SPEAKER_04 31:40

Wait, what's deemed incompetent?

SPEAKER_00 31:42

Uh, she like doesn't understand right or wrong. She can't understand the proceedings or the charges against her. She doesn't under like she can't aid in her own defense.

SPEAKER_04 31:50

Full size. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay, okay. And I mean, I'm deemed incompetent nightly. I cannot believe. Yeah, hell well no, hell, I was incompetent earlier. I mean, I'm deemed incompetent twice a week. I can't believe that.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

So Sarah would just be in her cell naked and like dancing around, which you can't do, right? Like you can't be indisposed. Like you get what they call a prio, which is like the prison rape elimination act or whatever. Um, and she would like she cut her own hair.

SPEAKER_04 32:20

Holy shit. Wait, sorry. I'm sorry to keep stopping you. You get deemed what pre-o if you take the clothes off?

SPEAKER_00 32:26

Yeah. So if it's called the Prison Eliminate or Prison Rape Elimination Act, and it's like a huge thing, like to protect inmates and guards, and like you have to be covered all the time, right? Like, so to go to the shower, for example, you had to be fully clothed.

SPEAKER_06 32:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:41

So, and like coming out of the shower, you had to be fully clothed. Like, if you were changing in your you couldn't technically change in your cell, because if a male guard walked by and you're in your sports bra, that's inappropriate.

SPEAKER_04 32:50

I see. Okay, gotcha, gotcha.

SPEAKER_03 32:52

So I don't like away with like all the the bullshit that goes on, like all the screw and well, that's prism.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

That's probably different than county jail. Hold on, yeah. Yeah, we're still in counting jails.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

Like county didn't really have that, right? Because it was a small county jail. So the guards were really on top of it. Um, so like I'm being babied, right? Like my exposure to prison in this world is being is very much coddled in this small county jail. So then I obviously I take a plea deal, um which my plea deal was they dropped all the money laundering, um, and I was looking at zero to thirty-three months. So we were able to argue or ask for anything zero to thirty-three months. But the max I like I had a capped plea deal. So going into my sentencing hearing, I knew the most I could get was 33 months.

SPEAKER_04 33:39

Far. That had to be a good feeling, like in the gut.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

Yeah, I didn't think I was gonna get that. Um, because I was like, well, it's you know, it's I don't have much criminal history. I didn't, you know, I I had some criminal history because the way that the federal sentencing guidelines are, it's it's it's rigged. It is such a it's a joke system. So I got a DWAI in the state of Colorado.

SPEAKER_04 34:03

What does that mean? What's the difference?

SPEAKER_00 34:04

Driving while intoxicating no driving while altered or impaired, if you blow between 0.04 and 0.07, it is the exact same thing as a day body.

SPEAKER_03 34:13

Yeah, that's like two drinks, Max. Oh, dude.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

Yeah, Woof is right.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

Woof.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

Um, so I had I had got that and I was on probation.

SPEAKER_04 34:22

Mate, can you drive me home? Sorry. I'm sorry. Man, I'm gonna get driven home tonight, if that's right, buddy.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

I I believe like only like two or three states have such a DWAI. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

Hey brother, you're gonna be way past a DWI or AI or whatever. I'm in the worry about a D W A I'm uh I'm an F D U I don't get that shit.

SPEAKER_04 34:47

Just a straight D UI F D UI like this one bitch is fucking drunk under the influence. This one bitch is drinking.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

So I was on Did they hold that against you though? Yeah, so I was actually so they held that against me. So that was one point on my sentencing guidelines, and then I was on probation for the DWAI um while I committed this crime. So that gave me an additional two points. So in my so in the sentencing guidelines, I was a category three in my criminal history, right? So that adds like additional time, right? So it's it's essentially like everyone argues that it's double jeopardy, right? Because you're being punished for something you've already been punished for. Um, it's you know, so that's where that gets a lot of people. So then if you look at the scale of my crimes, so the crimes go from one all the way down to 43, and that's like the severity of the crime. Wire fraud falls at a seven, right? So it's not that serious. But well, you have stuff like all the way out down to 43, which is like life in prison, like murder. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:50

Gotcha, gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

So I was, and then you take the amount of money that they were alleging you took and that it added 10 points. So I was at a 17. So category three, 17, I was looking at I was looking at 47 months. And then the prosecutor was trying to throw these enhancements at me, right? Saying that I violated a position of trust. So she was trying to say that I took that I told, or I was alleging that I was a financial advisor, and which you know, so she was trying to tack all these enhancements on me, which would have given me more time. So when I was started, I was looking at about 48 to like 50 or 52 months or something like that. So the plea deal took me down to 33 as a cap. So I was like, okay, screw it. I'm you know, because I originally when we were looking at plea deals, there was two plea deals. It was zero, it was a I was gonna get 33 months, but I was gonna be able to get out on pretrial. That was what I just wanted to get out on pretrial. This was at this time I was just wanted to get out on pretrial. The other deal was you stay in, you stay in county, and you can argue anything for zero to 33.

SPEAKER_04 36:55

But does that count towards your own? Yeah, my county, yes, my county time was counting towards my. Oh, nice. Yeah, yes. That's typical though. That's a that's a thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:03

Absolutely. So, and I gotta hand it to this one girl. Like, I she sat me down and she's like, Listen, you better just get fucking comfortable in here because you're probably not going home. Like, okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:16

You probably needed to hear that because you were like way too hopeful. I'm not sure. Today's the day. Today's the day.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Yes, I was way too delusional. I was way too delusional, and like I look back on it now, and and my parents, man, they were doing the time with me, and they were just so they were trying, they were, but they just, you know, they were at a loss. They're they're hurt, their collateral damage, all because of my decisions. And it's I just wanted to come home, right? That wasn't gonna happen. And it shouldn't have happened, right? I was not, I was still just an asshole. I was still, I hadn't learned my lesson.

SPEAKER_03 37:48

Yeah, everything happens for a reason.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

Yep, yep. Although I would have preferred just to take the class than have had to live through the experience, but um, so yeah, so did you you so you did you get 33 months? I did. So you're gonna go.

SPEAKER_03 38:01

Damn, you got the max of the could have been zero to 33. You got 33.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

I did.

SPEAKER_04 38:05

That's like a roulette number, maybe. It's like, man, it could be one, it could be 33. Let's spend that damn ball again. Oh, 33 red.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

I did. So I went to my change of plea, right? You change your plea, and then then you sign over all these like um to have like them access all your records. So I signed all that because you have to go through what they call a pre-sentencing investigation. So that's done by the federal probation office, right? And then so they talk to you, they talk to people in your life, and they just want to get like a whole picture of who you are. That's how they make it sound. That it's this unbiased, like, we're just gonna try to just do that's my boy, blue, that kind of thing. That is not what my experience was, and I am not afraid.

SPEAKER_04 38:46

They go to your worst enemy and be like, hey, what do you know about Alexa? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 38:49

Well, so what so I had my pre-sentencing investigation interview, and my lawyer and the paralegal are like, just be honest, lay out all your trauma, talk about what happened, talk about what happened to you a week before you committed this crime, and just like so they understand. It does like trauma doesn't offer an excuse, it offers an explanation, right? So maybe it can kind of you're not just a piece of shit who preyed on this person, right? Oh, that backfired.

SPEAKER_04 39:19

So sorry to laugh. I'm sorry to laugh.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

It backfired hard, right? So uh like I'll give you just this is like a petty example, right? So I've had multiple knee surgeries. I've had, and my parents have all been at my knee surgeries, right? And I told them the hospital that I had my knee surgery. Well, when they did their little investigation and their report, it was it was read out there, well, Miss Kenny alleges she had knee surgery per our investigation at such and such hospital, no records exist. What?

SPEAKER_03 39:51

How do they not have the records if you can't do it?

SPEAKER_00 39:53

She looked at the wrong fucking hospital.

SPEAKER_04 39:55

Oh so they can kind of skew the shit however they want.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

So, and then so then they called my parents and my mom, who just God bless her, she asked the person who was doing her interview, like basically I don't know her exact verbiage because I wasn't there, but it was basically alluding to like, are these words gonna be twisted and used against my daughter? And the response from the probation officer was no, I work for the judge. My sole purpose is to just report what you guys tell me until I get a whole picture. That wasn't true. Everything my mom and dad said in that interview was twisted and used against me. Yeah, basically basically they said that my dad straight up said I deserved to go to prison. My dad did not say that at all. Yeah, like and I knew that, right? Like, had they known I'd done wrong, sure, a hundred percent. But it's like your your parent isn't gonna, unless your parent just is it completely against you, it's not gonna be like send them away.

SPEAKER_04 40:51

Like it's sure they were loaded questions too. They had to have been, they were fishing for something, right?

SPEAKER_00 40:56

They and they were, and so like when that came out, it was like what? So we had to file a continuance, and in that in that time, I was served with a lawsuit of 4.6 million dollars from individuals who alleged that I had that deserved that. Um, who alleged that I wrote them a check out of my checking account for 4.6 million dollars to invest in their business and it bounced. I'm like, okay, I know I've done some stuff, but I didn't do this. Like I I this like I 100% did not do this. And you know, my parents were freaking out, and rightfully so, because I had been lying and manipulating, and I had no credibility whatsoever. So we had to continue my sentence, and my lawyer had a subpoena, so she filed an ex parte order for these people's bank records. Come to find out, they actually lied, they printed out a whole check. Everything was fake. I didn't do this. Like I'll admit I did wrong, but this I didn't actually do. Um, but the feds let it into Discovery to try to get me more time.

SPEAKER_03 42:09

4.6 million dollars. How the hell are they coming after you like this? Why do they care that much?

SPEAKER_00 42:16

I I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 42:17

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:18

I don't know. Um, so at my sentencing, right? So typically sentencings are about I don't know, maybe an hour, 45 minutes to an hour, hour and 15, two and a half hours. Two and a half hours I stood up there and I got obliterated. You'd have thought I murdered a school bus full of kids and a bag of puppies. Like, and you know, so we get there, and this was such a bad day. Um, so you come in through the Sally port, right? Normally they have an elevator that takes you up, and like you just have a short little jaunt to the courtroom because you're shackled, yeah, right? You are shackled, belly chained, everything. So walking with those, I don't know if you guys have ever been shackled.

SPEAKER_04 43:02

No, I've never been shackled. But I can imagine the elevator was out. They were fuzzy.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

It was broken. It was out.

SPEAKER_04 43:08

Yeah, it's like stare Mageddon. You ever watch The Office? Stare Mageddon?

SPEAKER_00 43:11

And then I had a when Stanley's gonna be I had to walk this long ass hallway, and they're like, Come on, you're walking slow. And I'm like, fucking no shit. Like, like this hurts.

SPEAKER_03 43:25

Son of a bitch, I can't think of step up. Did they unchackle you? Absolutely not. Nope. Nope.

SPEAKER_00 43:30

Stood there and I was in bright orange. I wasn't getting, I was not getting close. Um, and then on top of that, my judge was 80 years old falling asleep on the bench.

SPEAKER_04 43:41

Sweet shit. Yeah, that was funny.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

He's still a judge, by the way. Today, yeah, actually a really good judge. I gotta give him credit. He's a very fair and respectable judge. Um, so that's how my day started was having to walk like a football length field hallway shackled and being told by the marshal to hurry the fuck up. Um, so you sit there, you're shackled. So, like, you know how you see in the movies or like in court TV, like the tables are away from each other like this. Oh, yeah. For us, it was I was we were facing each other. So I the prosecutor, if she wasn't up there like shitting on me, she was staring at me like death staring. Oh, I was so I was like looking around, like, is she like, is this is this really happening to me right now?

SPEAKER_04 44:25

You should have stared her down the whole time.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

Well, I did I I literally I looked at her and I was like, like kind of like, do you do you want to have to say something to me? So um, so what had happened was she opened the door for the IRS agent who received that phony check to testify because the judge wanted to know like what is going on. And my lawyer killed it. She asked the questions, and basically the judge was like, I don't know what this is, but it's not a real check. It was never presented for deposit. Like, this isn't like he's like, I'm gonna look the other way. So it was like, okay, she didn't do this. And then I get up there and I read my letter, and you know, those to s I think it's such a rigged system in this situation where they want you to apologize to your victims and you want to like show remorse. I'm gonna say whatever it is I have to say so that I don't get the most time. Was I sorry at the time? Absolutely, in the capacity that I could be. Right? Because you still haven't really processed what's all going on. Um so I laid it out there, it was vulnerable. Then the prosecutor comes up, and everything I had ever said or everything I had ever lived to be true, she said I didn't didn't happen to me, right? Like the ultimate gaslighting experience happened. And like even my parents were like, Wait, we we lived that with her, like we went through that, and you're saying that that didn't happen. Like, and for some reason, the center of her narrative was how attractive I was. Y'all seen the pictures, bitch.

SPEAKER_03 46:04

Was a dog that got you on a day you hadn't done your makeup or whatever, you know?

SPEAKER_00 46:08

No, we can just say it like colestate is it was it was a rough time.

SPEAKER_04 46:13

They got you in gray and not in orange, is what you said. That was funny. That picture was so funny.

SPEAKER_00 46:18

It was so, and I'm like, are we looking at the same person? Like, what do my looks have to do with this? Um, it was just, you know, if the facts of the case are not that hard, like are not that good, you're gonna attack the person. And that's what happened. And I was low-hanging fruit, right? Like I hadn't been living right for a long time. I had been doing the most and I deserved it. I didn't think I did at the time. So when the judge read off that I got the 33 months, you know, I didn't, I probably showed no um because at that point in time I just wanted to get the fuck back to myself. I was done. I was over it. I had been told I was a piece of shit for the last two and a half hours. I was over it.

SPEAKER_03 46:57

Um, that is a long time.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

So, like when people, you know, when people say they're like, oh, they showed no emotion when they were sentenced. Yeah, because we're like you're you're done. You can't really think it's just give me whatever.

SPEAKER_03 47:09

I'm ready to get out of here. Yeah, no shit. At least you knew the most you could get. Well, I mean, coming from 60 years, you know, you're like, that's just 33 months is the worst. That's fine. Okay, that'll be after two and a half hours. I could see where you're like, just give me 33 months.

SPEAKER_00 47:21

Yeah, I was I was done. And so I they take me back, and the marshal, he was like, he just like as we're walking through the hallway, he's like, Are you okay? He's like, That was rough. I'm like, I don't fucking know. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 47:35

33 months is better than 60.

SPEAKER_00 47:37

Yeah, and in the grand scheme of things, like it's like looking at it now, it was a blip, but at the time, you it's hard to conceptualize like that's 33 months. So I had served nine at that point. So in in the Fed time, you get 52 days for every year that you're sentenced. So they call it a Fed year, which is so instead of it being 12 months, it's 10 months. Um so I was looking at still, I wasn't getting out until 2024. It was 2022. That was hard to process.

SPEAKER_05 48:11

Oh, I bet.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

So, you know, so then I now all you have to do is you sit and wait until you get picked up.

SPEAKER_04 48:18

Yeah, like so they call your name over the intercom, like you're in elementary school, and you're like, hey, Alexa, you're being called to the you, you know, you're you're thinking you're getting called to something, like, oh, your parents are here to check you out. That's basically what happened.

SPEAKER_03 48:31

No, she was your parents could have checked you out.

SPEAKER_04 48:33

It's terrible to say, but that's what I kind of think of that as.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

Yeah, yeah, they knock on your door. So it had been two weeks since my sentencing, I had been designated. Um, I thought I was going to a camp. I thought I was going to Greenville in Illinois, because that's where the judge said I was supposed to go. So I was like, I'm going to Greenville to go garden. I thought that's what I was going to do. No, I was not headed there.

SPEAKER_04 48:54

Yeah, you aren't going to get ice cream and tennis courts, huh? No.

SPEAKER_00 48:59

So at midnight, they knock on my cell door, roll up, you're leaving, you're like, Yes, I'm going to prison.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

At midnight?

SPEAKER_00 49:07

Yes. So you walk, you got, you get all shackled up at like two o'clock in the morning because we had to drive like five and a half, six hours to the strip where the marshals come and pick you up. So you drive, and then we had we had to stop at the gas station so the girls could go to the bathroom, which was an experience having to walk in a gas station fully shackled.

SPEAKER_03 49:27

No shit. Yep. It wasn't each other.

SPEAKER_00 49:30

Huh?

SPEAKER_04 49:30

No, no, no. We weren't changed. We weren't chained. Not yet. I wasn't chained yet, but just yeah, but wait, it wasn't like a Bucky's either, was it?

SPEAKER_00 49:36

No, it was like some like loaf and jug or something.

SPEAKER_04 49:40

Oh, yeah. You went to damn CJ's in Bell Green. They took you down to the bathrooms outside. They got one bathroom and there's a key to it. Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_00 49:50

So so we're headed to Conair, right? Like we're we're headed to the plane.

SPEAKER_03 49:56

Um and this isn't at like an airport.

SPEAKER_00 49:58

This is uh No, so it's a strip in El I want to say it's El Paso, Colorado.

SPEAKER_04 50:03

I could be wrong, but it's El Paso, Texas, or New Orleans. In Colorado, okay, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

So and thank God I was flying out in May because you get up, there's like a line of so it's all these different county facilities in Colorado, Nebraska, um, that all meet at this airstrip so that people can get on the plane and they can ship you from pris to prison. And it's just like a whole line. Then you see this plane coming in, and it's a pretty big plane, and it's obviously you're sitting there and you're just standing on the tarmac. You're just standing on the tarmac shackled.

SPEAKER_04 50:37

Are you in the orange jumpsuit at this point?

SPEAKER_00 50:40

So I was in, I was in what I we called our our our grays, right? So I was in the ironically enough, it was a Bob Barker brand.

SPEAKER_01 50:48

Oh fuck Bob, a big Bob, baby.

SPEAKER_04 50:50

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 50:51

So I was in sweatpants and I had on Velcro shoes. Um, and so I was just standing there waiting, and they all come out. And like two of them, two of the marshals had like weapons or their ARs or whatever, and they were standing guard. There was two at the front, two at the back, and then there was a helicopter, right? And then they all come down and they line up. So you have to get you have to get searched and padded down before they let you on the plane. Now, mind you, you're shackled this whole time. You are not unshackled at any point in any. So then you have to walk up the stairs shackled, which is not easy to do because the stairs are higher than the length of the chain you have in between.

SPEAKER_04 51:27

Yes, you're just like squirking up.

SPEAKER_00 51:30

I did not fall, thank God. But the girls.

SPEAKER_03 51:32

It seemed like you might be semi-athletic. Uh yeah, I could see where yeah, maybe Hattie or whatever would fall. Hootie, or who was it? Muda. Muda. Probably.

SPEAKER_00 51:43

Oh, there was some women.

SPEAKER_04 51:45

I'll never forget Muda until I die. I've been thinking about Muda for the last like 30 minutes. I used to give Muda What does that bitch look like? I mean, she's gotta be fucking mean, right? Yeah, she's gotta be cute.

SPEAKER_00 51:57

I used to give her so many butterscotch candies.

SPEAKER_04 51:59

I bet you did.

SPEAKER_00 52:00

I did. I had them in my pocket.

SPEAKER_04 52:02

Did you give her any Kool-Aid?

SPEAKER_00 52:03

No, she wanted the she wanted the Mexican candies and the butterscotches. No, you just wouldn't be oh so you have no idea. So you're on this plane, right? And it's Conair. So the women are in the front and then the men are in the back, and you have no idea where you're going. And I just asked a question. I was like to the marshal, I was like, Can you let us know where you're going? He goes, Do you he's like, you don't fucking need to know.

SPEAKER_04 52:26

I'm like, Oh, it's like, yeah, fine. Yeah, Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 52:30

So the only way I knew where I was at was I looked out, we touched on we were in San Antonio. So we were picking up a group of people. So then back up, whole plane full, back up, and then we were in Midland and Odessa. So we're in Texas. I ultimately knew where our final destination was, it was going to be in Oklahoma City because that's where the big transfer facility is at.

SPEAKER_06 52:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 52:50

Um, for the feds. They have one in Oklahoma City and then they have one in Perump, Nevada. Um, and unless you're going to somewhere in California, you don't go to Perump. Um, so we landed in Oklahoma and the big transfer facility was closed at the time because it was still COVID, right? This is 20, this is May, early June of 22.

unknown 53:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 53:08

Um, well, middle of June of 22. So then we get in a bus and we have to drive another hour. Now mind you, it's like six o'clock at night. So and we haven't eaten, we haven't drank any water. Like you're you're still shackled. And so you drive. So they give you water at once, like they gave you one little, like one of those like mini six-ounce bottles of water. Cheese. And like those cheese, you know, those like um cheesecracker packs? You got two of those. That's what you got.

SPEAKER_03 53:36

So you might as well have been fasting.

SPEAKER_00 53:38

I didn't care. I was like, oh thank you. So um that was what we got. So I had to drive an hour and a half to Cushings, Oklahoma, okay, which is where a CCA was, which is like a core civics, it was a private prison.

SPEAKER_06 53:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 53:52

Um, and that was where we had to wait. I had no idea what prison I was going to. I had no idea how long I was gonna be there. Um, I just that was where I was. So I was there for I was actually there over Memorial Day weekend, ironically enough.

SPEAKER_04 54:06

Oh, anniversary party here in the agenda.

SPEAKER_00 54:09

Yeah, I'm like, I'm sitting here, I'm like, wait, I was over there for a long weekend.

SPEAKER_01 54:12

Sorry, Thomas.

SPEAKER_00 54:16

He knows. He knows who he needs to be. He knows. So, you know, you're there at this transfer facility, and then like you have to get tested for COVID. But so when we first got there, we hadn't even been there two minutes, and the nurse comes in, she goes, Okay, ladies, time to pee. And we're like, she's like, I need a pregnancy test. I'm like, um, if you need me to pee, I'm gonna need you to hydrate me. Like, and not to mention what? Yeah, why? Um like and she goes, and she goes, Well, we're she's like, How do you know you're not pregnant? I'm like, I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_03 54:52

How long did you have been in county for how many months?

SPEAKER_00 54:54

Nine. I'll try to tell me, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:57

Oh, but the guards could. Yes, okay, so that's I didn't think about that.

SPEAKER_00 55:02

So I went from this little tiny, tiny pot like county facility, and I was headed to the big time, right?

SPEAKER_01 55:07

I was headed to what I big time, you're headed to the big leagues here. Which because there's like I still didn't know where I was going. I still didn't know where I was going.

SPEAKER_00 55:16

They had they had, I still was like, where the hell am I gonna end up? Um well then on a Tuesday, so it was Tuesday after the holiday, they call my name and I have to go get COVID tested, and they're like, You're headed to Texas. I'm like, where am I heading in Texas? I'm like the border. Because there's two there, well, there's three BOP facilities in Texas. There's a camp called Bryant, then there's a like high rise in Houston, and then there's Carswell, which is in Fort Worth, Texas. So then they pull us out midnight, we're shackled again. Um, they fed us honey buns, which were moldy. So I opted out of the biggest.

SPEAKER_04 55:54

A honey bun has to go 10 years to get molded. Dude, I love teating those up microwave, man.

SPEAKER_03 56:00

Yeah, how does a honey bun, like if it that means they've had them for two, they probably got all those fresh ones. They're like, fuck it. They just molded. Let's give them to them. Yeah, it's on purpose for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 56:08

So I opted out. I'm like, you know, I'm good. So then we got shackled again. This time, though, we were shackled, belly chained, handcuffed. And then, like, you had the chain between the belly chain and your feet. You were black boxed, if you guys know what a black box is.

SPEAKER_04 56:22

I don't know. Well, yeah, never mind. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 56:26

So it's the box that sits in between the chain of the handcuffed, so it allows no wrist movement. So you literally are locked in like oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 56:33

Wait, no way. They keep it right there.

SPEAKER_00 56:35

You can't you have no wrist movement whatsoever. So I sat like this, and then I was chained to the person next to me for five and a half hours on the trip, on the bus trip from Oklahoma to Fort Worth, Texas. God, and they had the air conditioning cranked because some of those women stunk. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it.

SPEAKER_02 56:55

Like, I'll believe it. So that is super cold.

SPEAKER_00 56:57

All the smells, not pleasant. Oh, so we got there about seven o'clock in the morning. You get unshackled.

SPEAKER_03 57:04

You're at your final destination.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

I'm at my final destination. Thank God. I I literally have never been so happy to be somewhere in the world.

SPEAKER_04 57:12

You never wish for a bus wreck more than the last time at prison.

SPEAKER_00 57:16

I literally walked out of the bus and I'm like, thank you, God.

SPEAKER_03 57:20

Thank you for this prison.

SPEAKER_00 57:21

And the guard that came out, she goes, You're saying that now. And I'm like, it can't be that much worse than what I've been through. Because the transport trips are that's brutal. The transport trips suck.

SPEAKER_03 57:31

Um, so the only time we say it's in the movies, and it's like one scene. I know.

SPEAKER_00 57:35

I went to the room.

SPEAKER_03 57:36

They're gonna meet the warden, boy, and then they ride and then they're there.

SPEAKER_04 57:40

Was there a warden at the prison? Yes, yeah, really, was it a guy or a girl?

SPEAKER_00 57:43

It was a guy.

SPEAKER_04 57:44

It was a guy. Was it kind of like the warden from Longestard?

SPEAKER_00 57:47

No, no, Miss Warden Smith.

SPEAKER_04 57:49

We building a football team. You know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_00 57:51

Yes, yes, no, Warden Smith was cool. Not cool, a weirdo. Like he was he had like all the he had all the intentions to turn around Carswell, but just it was such a fucked up place, right? In terms of like, yes. So, and we'll get into that, right? Like, but so we get there, we have you have to go in through the check-in process, right? So um you're going you go through an x-ray scanner, right? To make sure you don't have anything shoved places.

SPEAKER_03 58:19

Yeah, I mean, how the hell could you at this point?

SPEAKER_04 58:23

Sorry. I just hear one like bud joke.

SPEAKER_01 58:27

I'm like, oh there's gotta be something in there somewhere. And then left.

SPEAKER_00 58:31

Well, and I had so the reason I was at Cardboard because of my heart problem, but I had devices implanted in my chest. So I'm going through this, and then they see this. They're like, what is this? I'm like, oh, it's a monitor. And they're like, Are you sure? Do you have documentation? I'm like, no, I don't have documentation. I just literally came from like multiple cognitive facilities. So then you're you're in a room, you're waiting with all these women, you have to go squat and cough, and you have to get changed out.

SPEAKER_06 58:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:55

And I mean, at this point, you're so like used to it. You're like, I I literally was like taking off my clothes as I'm walking. She's like, hold on, wait till you get in there.

SPEAKER_01 59:02

Here it is.

SPEAKER_00 59:03

And I'm like, just get it over with. So I had to be quarantined for seven days because of COVID. Um gay. So we were in a tiny room that it's so true. It's so fucking gay.

SPEAKER_04 59:15

It's so we fucking dumb.

SPEAKER_00 59:18

We were in a tiny room that you only got to shower every other day in the middle of summer in Fort Worth, Texas, with no air conditioning.

SPEAKER_03 59:30

So you're by yourself because you're quarantined.

SPEAKER_00 59:32

There were four of us in a room.

SPEAKER_03 59:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 59:34

One of them was a catatonic schizophrenic.

SPEAKER_03 59:37

Oh God, you can't leave. You're not getting sunlight. This isn't one of those deals, not yet. This is like almost like county lockup again.

SPEAKER_00 59:44

The only thing that kept me going was five days.

unknown 59:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:48

Because I had become a professional sleeper at this point.

SPEAKER_03 59:50

Damn it, you had just gotten there and gotten happy about being there.

SPEAKER_00 59:53

So then they let us out. We go in the yard and I get a sound to a housing unit. And it's I'm in one north. So it so I was at FMC Carswell, which is a medical facility. Um, and I was behind the fence. So I was not at a camp. I was at Carswell is uh considered an administrative level facility.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:14

So that's everything from a camp. That's everything from a camp all the way on up to like a max, right? So there was a max facility which was behind our housing units. So each housing unit housed like 380 women, and it's like a big atrium.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:34

So they just let you lose, right? You go get your clothes, you go to the laundry room, they give you your uniforms, your combat boots, and away you go.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:42

Do they lock you up at night? Holy shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:45

Where I was at, so the housing unit I was in did not have doors. So it was centered.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:50

Everybody's just general population, like y'all are all amongst each other.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:53

Yep, so you there was room, so you each had like a I want to say it was like six by seven, like cinder block room, but it didn't have a door. And there was four people to a room. So the the width of like the in between the bunks, so there was two bunks, so four people, and then you had like a half locker, which was like this tall by about maybe this wide.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:16

But you had like the bathroom out in front of everybody?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:18

So the bathroom, so you had a first and a second tier, so the and then the bathroom was tucked away. So there was like nine showers for like 180 women, and then eight bathrooms for 180 women, and then like four seats.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:30

Oh, it's like a community bathroom. Like you're shit though. I'm shitcha. I'm super shitcha. I hate shitting in front of anybody.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:36

Gotta get over.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:37

Did you shit in front of everybody?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:38

You gotta get over it. I mean, you have a stall, so you have a door door. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:41

Oh, you have a stall door? Yeah. Oh, that's damn that ain't prison. Well, I mean, I know it's prison. I'm sorry. I'm not not just gonna. Yeah, let's put it this way.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:49

You don't get fabries.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:51

But like Johnny Lock Up, though. Johnny Lock up getting shit in front of somebody else. Yeah, yeah. Because I don't think I could smoke a shit in front of anybody else in my life. You don't have a like since I was probably three years old when my mom probably saw me shit. That's the last person to see me shit anywhere. Oh, you got the diaper.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:07

It's just gonna have to disintegrate or evaporate. I mean, you're gonna have to shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:10

No, I'm gonna have to wear a diaper and shit my pants because I cannot just shit in front of everybody. You'll learn how to do it. But in county you had to, but in prison you didn't. You gotta start.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:18

Yeah, in county, in county, I had a I had a a bunky or a cellmate, and she like became my sister. So yeah, and you just gotta go.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:26

You gotta go. That's my brother sitting there, but I've never shit in front of you. I demand. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:31

You think that? Here's the thing is I thought that. And then you get there and you just at a certain point you're like, I'm not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:37

You gotta worry about it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:38

Like, you got other like I was looking at prison time, like the last thing you heard about shitting in front of yourself, my dear. But to be quite frank, like you don't get proper nutrients in tris prison or in county jails, so like you're dealing with a whole set of other issues, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:53

Like so you're not worried about shitting, you're worried just living.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:57

To be honest, like when you have to take milk of magnesia like once every couple of like once a week to even be able to go because you're not getting proper nutrients, right? You're not getting fiber, you're not getting your vitamins, you're not like all it's a it wreaks havoc. Like you're just you're a mess.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:12

That's fucked up. We didn't hear about that a little more, too, is how sorry, continue.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:18

So I got to prison and like when I when I hit the yard, to me it was summer camp. I got to go outside, no more locked doors. Like I, you know, I didn't care. I I was like, and you know, at that time I was like, okay, you're gonna just focus on yourself, you're gonna just this is gonna mean something, right? That's what I was telling myself. Because at the time I I was like, I wanted to lose weight, I wanted to get back in shape, I wanted to do all these things. Um, I also still hadn't accepted that I was gonna be there for as long as I was gonna be there. Because I thought, oh, well, I'm gonna go to Halfway House or I'm gonna get out on the CARES Act or something. So get settled in, and I was very fortunate with the bunkies that I was given. Um so I thought. So I thought. So I thought. Um so the first weekend I was there, um, out on like general population. So the cool thing about federal prison, and I know a lot of people are probably not gonna like this, but your taxpayers, tax dollars, go to paying for a fireworks show. So we got to go outside and watch fireworks.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:24

That's cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:25

Once again, at least it's not going to be a good. Yeah, I'd rather that than Ukraine or Israel. One or the other. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it could be instead of being fireworks, it could be like other things, you know. Like hell yeah. Y'all could have got cooler shit than fireworks. Yeah, how about some bluebell ice cream? Yeah, that would have been fucking sick.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:43

We did get so much.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:44

But yeah, you get better food in prison than New Dale, huh?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:46

Yeah, I'd rather that than I will say this.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:49

The food where I was at was actually good. I got real meat, we got steak on the holidays, we got shrimp on New Year's, um, we got holiday meals, we got chicken on a bone every like a chicken, like a big fat chicken thigh every Thursday, chicken patty on Tuesdays. So, like the lunch is the same Monday through Friday everywhere. It's Monday, it's like they they alternate it. Tuesday's chicken patty day. Wow, I still remember this. Tuesday's chicken patty day, Wednesday's hamburger and french fries or tater tots, Thursday's chicken, like yeah, it's like Michelle Obama's lunch from the chicken on the bone, and then Fridays. Same shit on Fridays.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:26

Yeah, it's like the hardest choice of your day is like, do I want fries or tots? Yeah, do I double down on the taco salad?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:31

I always went with the tots. The tots were always because we had fryers, so they always got to fry our tots or our french fries. Oh, yeah. So, like the food, and I worked in the kitchen. So the food was, and which was a that was one of the most stressful jobs I've ever had, to be quite honest with you. But um, the food was actually good. You got fruit, you got like they would do vegetables, right? We would get salads. Like you ate well.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:54

Yeah. So I can't say at that point, you were like, Okay, I'm healthy again. Like, you're not.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:00

Like, okay, I'm gonna eat. Like, I'm gonna eat what they feed us. I'm gonna like start running a because we had a whole like the whole gymnasium, right? Like, you had treadmills, you had spin bikes, you they had aerobics classes that I took, um, pool tables. Like, it, you know, it's you had pool tables, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:16

You had to gamble a little bit. She played non-ball. Yeah, how many strokes you have to give somebody else? How many balls uh there was this woman?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:24

There's this woman we called her boss. Man, that bitch could shoot some pool.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:27

I bet she could.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:29

Was she in there for like life? Drugs. No, she wasn't, but she was she was cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:33

Mean tone bitch. Yeah, she that's badass.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:36

Boss was boss was a boss. Um, so yeah, like and like you had workout videos, right? So like you could go rent it, like P90X. I did I did the insanity.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:46

I've done that, and I wasn't even in jail.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:49

I did that in my living room like a month ago. I'm like, I'm gonna start doing this every day. Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:56

And like so the true the treadmills we ran on, so they were the self-propelled treadmills. So have you ever seen those? They're like at a curve.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:04

Yeah, yeah. Those are I watched Julio Jones run one on that. Did you have you seen that video of Julio Jones running as fast as you can on one of those?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:13

It takes them figuring out too because it's it's all on you.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:16

I was running seven miles a day every single day on one of those when I got to my prime, like when I hit my stride, right? So, because I just you know, I and then like we had an outdoor track. It was like basically like a park, right? There was benches you could sit on, there were trees, there was a cement walking path, softball fields, uh, volleyball courts, basketball courts.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:39

You mean they would give everybody bats?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:43

I bet balls beat the shit out of somebody. She had to. Muda gets it.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:49

No, Muda would just run off. Like Muda, like if you were a runner, which everyone knew I was, they'd be like, Kenny, go get Muda, and I'd have to like sprint after Muda to grab her.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:58

Which state was this in? Texas. In Texas, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:01

Yeah, so I was in Fort Worth.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:03

You were a couple hours from the worst conditions ever in Louisiana. They have the worst penitentiary in the world in Louisiana, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:11

Well, so I I do know that like so the feds, we had air conditioning and all that because they have certain regulations. Um, but like TDC, which is like the Texas State Department of Corrections, they have had people killed from riots because they don't have air conditioning because it gets so hot in those houses.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:28

Is that because so this wasn't just a white-collar uh crown place, though? No, I was at admission. Why was this one nicer? Because the health condition, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:36

Yeah, so it's just federal facilities, like the feds have a certain standard level of standard that's much higher than states, right? And so, like, I will say this like if you're gonna go to like a prison, you might as well go to a federal prison. But you can't choose that, can you? No, well, okay, this is the saying, right? Like, if you want to be if you're gonna be indicted, I'd rather be indicted by a state, but if I'm gonna go to prison, I'd rather go to a federal prison. Okay, does that make sense?

SPEAKER_04 1:09:00

Like, yeah, I'll I'll I'm gonna write that down actually. I did wear a problem with that. That's huge. Sorry, no, I'm not indicting myself. You never know. Are you indicting me or am I going to prison? No, just don't matter. Just take Louisiana out of the picture. I don't need to go to no Louisiana prison. Yeah, I've heard crazy shit about Andola.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:19

We had a we had air conditioning, we had now there was a couple days where the air conditioning went out and that shit sucked, right? When you have 300 people in a space and I was on the top tier, so like obviously, like if you didn't have any like health ailments that would like prevent you from climbing on a top bunk or climbing the stairs, you were on a top bunk and you were on a top tier. So that was me, right? And so, and I'll be honest, I uh my dear friends still to this day love her to death. Uh, she altered my mattress so I had a really comfortable bed.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:53

She just extra stuffed it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:55

She so they're plastic, they're wrapped in plastic, so they can easily clean them. Yeah, so she cut it open and halved another mattress and shoved it in there. So it was that's fire. It was great. I had it, I had one of the best mattresses.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:08

Little shit like that in prison goes a long way. Shit that we would take for granted, we'll just go buy another mattress. Yep, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:15

You made it sound pretty good.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:17

Well, and I was on blood thinners, so I got extra blankets if I got cold. Oh yeah. So I and I had extra pillows. I'm not quite sure why I had an extra pillow, but I did.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:28

Um, so commissary, tell us you had to have so you had to pay for that, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:32

No, so the pillows they give you. Oh so you're not so like all your bedding and stuff like that, because the pillows are wrapped in plastic for like hygienic reasons and like so that they can clean them and stuff. Because unfortunately, when you have self-surrenders, people do come in with lice, people do come in with scabies, and people do come in with some horrific, like disgusting things.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:49

Swamp ass. Yeah, I'll bet you they got that too.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:52

Oh Jesus. I could do I can live with crazy, I could not live with stinky and dirty. They don't have to be.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:59

You mean swamp ass? Just say swamp ass one time.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:01

Swamp ass.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:02

Yeah, the swamp ass, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:03

They don't uh they don't make you shower though, do they?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:07

They can't.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:08

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:08

Like people like now the women, so when you hit the yard, like I will say this like so when you're fresh on the compound, you have these blue canvas, like kind of boat shoes. So they call it blue shoe shopping.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:21

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:21

Right. So the girls are kind of sizing you up. Like, does she have money? Like, who, like, are I gonna so they give you everything that you need, right? If you can't go buy it off a commissary, because you couldn't shop every week. A commissary was every other week. So very helpful. Um, I had great bunkies who like gave me stuff that I needed, and I obviously gave it back. So because I I did get money in there. I was very, very fortunate. Some women are not, um, so I was comfortable. Um and I was able to have things that you know it made it made doing time a lot easier, right? Like a comfortable mattress, like because you're sleeping on steel. Like, which still like my hips still are not right.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:02

I'm just gonna go ahead and no pun intended, my hips are steel, not right.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:09

So I was in a room with I had great bunkies, and then that weekend, so we watched the 4th of July, then my bunky got in a fight, so she went to the shoe, which the shoe is like the segregated housing unit.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:20

So yeah, I know about the shoe. I've watched Prison Break. Did you go to the shoe ever?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:23

I no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:25

You never got put in the shoe?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:26

No, so you live by the rules in there.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:28

For the most part, prisoner.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:30

I'd be the same way, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:31

It's not like what I want to make very clear to people is doing time is not hard. What's hard is the fucking people and the guards. So I was at Carswell, which I was behind the fence, even though I was a white collar criminal, I was at a facility that was 70% sex offenders because Oh Jesus Christ. Yeah, so it was the only facility in all of BOP that offered a program called SOMP. And it's I don't know what the acronym is, but it basically is it's the program that's court ordered for all sex offenders. They have to take it. So eventually they all make their way there, and they're actually safer.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:11

Um yeah, well, most of them get fucking killed quickly, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:15

Not in female federal prisons, no.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:16

Oh, because there's probably not a lot of female sex offenders.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:19

There's a lot.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:20

Really?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:21

And they're disgusting. God.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:24

Sorry, I just think of like creepy old men like pedophiles.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:27

No, the women are worse.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:28

Well, when you think when I think pedophile, I think men. No, the women are worse. Are they?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:32

And most of their victims were their own kids or their own.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:36

So if you stabbed a damn, if you stabbed a girl to death in prison, the guards wouldn't be like, yeah, she deserved it. We're not going to report it.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:43

No, you're getting shipped and you're getting charged.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:46

Oh, God. We need a different system then. I mean, if you set a damn pedophile on fire, I feel like you should be. I'm not lying, I'm not, this isn't funny. I feel like if you're if you touch a child like that, you should be set on fire.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:59

They probably turned a blind eye to whooping their ass, but not killing them.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:02

No, they didn't.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:02

Oh, they should not kill them.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:04

You were actually sex offenders were safer at Carswell.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:07

Really? Yes. That is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:09

It's disgusting. Um, because I remember the one time I only act? You said the Somp Act, or no, Somp is like the programming that they have to take. And I don't, I don't even know what it is, other than it's like 18 months long, and they go to like understand why they did what they did. But I'm sorry. I as even as the darkest of dark times that I got to, I never thought, oh, let me go sell this kid across state lines.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:33

Like no way.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:34

You know, and a lot of those women, their excuse was they're like, well, I was influenced by a man. I'm like, oh my god, did they have like a gun to your head? He goes, No, I met him on Craigslist. Like, you know, it's just like there's something fundamentally wrong with you if you think to harm a child. And a lot of those women harmed their own children, right? Or women that are children. It was it was you have to, and that's what sucks about prison, right? You have to get in this mindset of like, okay, I'm here for right now, and I have to be, I have to put up with this, right? Like on out here, I would never socialize with someone who I know harmed a child, but in there, you gotta do what you gotta do.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:10

Yeah, yeah, that makes sense because there's gangs, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:13

Not in female prisons. So there was a few.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:16

I was hoping you'd say, like, hell yeah, I was in one of the damn female gangs.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:19

Do I look like I would be in a female prisoner?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:21

Not at all, actually. You like you would be in the farthest away from the female prisoner.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:24

I would probably be like the leader of the gang.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:26

I'm just gonna go ahead and say you'd be the uh brains behind the operation, huh? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:32

I'm the fucking geek with the calculator.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:34

Yeah, you're like, oh, you know, if we kill him, we might be okay. Or sorry. If we kill her, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:40

We need more robbery, we're not making the numbers. We're low on rom and girls. Get it together. I get my 20% off the top now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:47

If we kill her, her, and her, we might have more success here.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:51

I mean I'm getting low on Keefe coffee. Come on now.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:54

Keefe coffee. You said your bunkies though. So, like your bunkies weren't like child blasters, anything like that. No, so I was very so when I think what were they in there for?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:02

Drugs and drugs.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:04

Um deal.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:06

So but one of them had a girlfriend, and this girlfriend was crazy. So, and I mean, she would be in our room at all, like all kinds of stuff, and like she would, they were bigger women, so and I'm at the top, so they'd be in their bed and I'd be fucking up there like trying to hold on for dear life.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:23

Oh, they'd be doing it.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:24

God, I don't, I don't want to know.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:27

Well, you can hear it, surely, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:28

So one on one, like a one on one there, wasn't a trans woman in there? I I I did have a trans bunky, yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:38

So there were trans women. In the room with you, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:41

So my next set of bunkies, right? I got moved rooms.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:44

God.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:44

Um, my homie trip. My homie trip. I called that's my homie.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:48

Its name was trip.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:49

Her name or his name was Trip, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:51

Claimed to be a girl and it was a dude, right? Okay, so Mr. Tripp was in the yeah, that's my homie. Hey, Mr. Tripp. That's what I was joking earlier. I'm like, big homie trip. Don't let me get indotted and have to go to prison. First thing I'm doing say, transgender, transgender, I'd like to go to the house. Oh, you mean to tell me y'all slap me in an all-female prison? Transgender. First year, that's me. Let's go. I'm Mr. Tripp in that situation.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:21

Yeah, I'm I'm Ansley Bohanan. Y boys call you, they're like, how's it like? Oh my god, dude. It's a dream come true, bro. Hey, we're gonna get you out of there. Like, fuck you are. You leave me right here. I don't ever want to leave here. I ain't ever leaving here. I'll do whatever I gotta say. Oh, Ansley Bohanan. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:45

No, no, I that's what it is. Like, because you're like, you think I'm like, oh, I'm sentenced to an all-female prison, right? Like, that's not something that comes across your mind. No, I did time with biological men. That's 100% biological men. Make sure they did they do anything? Like, some of them did, yes. Um, you have to shower with them, you live with them, you go to the bathroom with them. Like, everything is as if they are a female with you, right? It's like you can't get moved rooms because you're with a that's just not a reason to get moved rooms. The guards are like, fucking deal with it.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:20

Yeah, right? So you can't escape. But it was like they if they did stuff, it wasn't forced. Like they just I mean, I'm sure because what I'm getting at is I'm sure there's a lot of chicks in there looking for some male genitalia. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:33

They were the most popular people on the compound.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:35

I bet. Like, I mean, you thought you had it good. Imagine this guy in there.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:41

Like they called it, like we call them, they call them studs or like stud rods.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:45

Like, no shit, they're studs. That's like softball. I mean, that that they they're the grand, they're the they're no, it's like the horseman for hobby. Yeah, it's like every yeah, they're getting studded out.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:57

Yeah, so you know, just that's what some of them said. They were just exhausted.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:02

If I ever go to prison, I am hey boys, I can't expect more time to do that. I got I got a couple friends in here, and I I'll say this, you know, this is on the record, but off the record. If I go to prison, don't judge me for my change of sexuality.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:20

I'm dead. I'm so sorry, Alexa. I know you dealt with it all, but I mean, I would way rather I would way rather, you know, Ray Lewis get off my back and I get to go hang out with all the ladies in the federal prison. That'd be awesome.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:33

I here's the thing is I never faulted the men, right? Like, because it's not your like if there's a loophole, fucking take advantage of it. It's the system that set it up, right? Like fuck y'all for setting this up and making this a reality, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:46

Like, so like I mean, you're your bunk mate, like, I mean, there he's pretty cool though, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:49

Oh, Trips Mahomie, man. We would shoot dice all the time. God, we had fun. Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:53

In the alley?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:54

No, we just well, we'd sit there, like, because it's concrete floors, right? So we would like he just sit there, he's like, he's like, Alexa, I'm like, yeah, he goes, You want to shoot some dice? I'm like, bitch, you better have money. Like, we better, like, and we had fun. Like, he taught and you we couldn't be more different, right? Like, white from Wyoming, black and a blood from the streets of LA, right? Like, you could not be more different, but you we grew to respect each other because you kind of forced to, and I I only wish good things for him. Um, but I got moved out of that room and I got moved into a room with my bunky, with two bunkies, who I one of them is still one of my really good friends today. And I was there for 11 months, and that was so another one of my bunkies, her girlfriend, right? Because girlfriends are a big thing in prison. Like that is 100% yes, like, and most women, a lot of women are gay for the stay, right? Like, you're not gay on the outs, but it's like not you don't gotta be gay to do it, you know what I'm saying? You're there for the rest of your life, whatever, like you know, so um like a pocket out, like we're talking about as well.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:01

I don't know. I'm with you. I wouldn't I wouldn't be gay for the stay. Guys, I wouldn't be trans for the trans for the van.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:09

I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:10

Trans for the 24 months, yeah, trans for the cans, you know what I mean? Sorry, Alexa. I know I am so lovely because it's we're dumb as shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:22

If you don't, like, who would have thought? Like, I'm telling my mom and my aunt on the phone, they're like, Where the fuck are you? You know, like I'm in a female prison. Yeah, like, wait, what?

SPEAKER_04 1:21:33

But my roommate's name is Trip, and he's a guy, but it's fine. Like, it's fine, mom. He's getting so much ass mom, you wouldn't believe it. You wouldn't believe what he's doing in there.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:42

He was actually he was mad at me when I got moved out of the room. He's like, You make me feel comfortable. And I'm like, I don't know how to take that, but thank you.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:50

Yeah, yeah, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:51

Um, because I was one, I was an easy bunky, right? I was quiet, I was clean, I was very respectable. Like I was an ideal bunky, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:21:58

White collar, you were white-collared.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:59

Yeah. There are some women, like, and there are some women who you're like, oh, like who raced you? Like what, like, did you not learn how proper hygiene? Did you not learn this? Like, you know, those kinds of things. And uh like even just changing your sheets, right? Like, change your sheets every at least once a month at the very like they're white, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:22:22

But you can choose when you change your sheets in prison.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:24

So you could change them weekly or I changed mine every seven days, yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:27

Okay, but you could also leave them there for months if you wanted to.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:30

Some women did, and it was disgusting. Jesus. Yeah, it was disgusting.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:34

That is gross.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:37

And well, and and and this isn't like a racial thing, but like you do see different hygiene habits among white people, black people, Asians, myths.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:45

For sure, different cultures.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:47

That's that is a real thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:48

Oh, Asians love cigarettes.

unknown 1:22:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:53

That's not racist. They love cigarettes. It has nothing to do with hygiene, but yeah, that sounds horrible, but they love cigarettes, and it smells like ass when you go to bed.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:03

So my aunt loves cigarettes, and we said she smelled like cig ass all the time. Nate, am I not? Am I lying? We said growing up, my aunt smells like cig ass because she smoked cigarettes. So yeah, I get that.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:15

Is your aunt Asian?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:16

No, she was cigarette. No, she was just she just loved inspection aid housing. It was fine. It's part of the game. Chalk it up. I'm just I'm not lying. No, I think it's I don't think you're lying.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:30

How do you love cigarettes? Nobody thinks you're lying about that. Oh my god, totally a horrible party.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:37

I was like, totally a horrible party because he thinks everybody thinks he's lying about his aunt smelling like cig ass. And she's not even Asian.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:45

She's not even Asian.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:46

Yeah, but Asians love cigs, and cigs typically smell like ass. And your aunt smoke cigs. Okay, that's even correlated. That's the correlation. Yeah, it's a three-way deal.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:55

Gotcha. Well, I'm I'm picking up what you're laying down.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:57

Yeah, yes, there it is. And that's Haji, right? That's where that's where we were and that's what we were talking about. It was Haji.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:05

Yeah, so and I mean, so you when you get into a broom where everyone's clean and every, you know, it's like, okay, I'm staying here.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:13

So, but my bunking, she had a girlfriend, and her girlfriend was one of the worst chomos on that compound.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:19

Chomo?

SPEAKER_00 1:24:19

Oh, sorry, child molester.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:21

Oh, I was wondering what a chomo was. I was like, Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:24

I was thinking it was like a butch.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:26

So child molester, I'll make sure to enunciate for the kids in the back.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:30

Chomos?

SPEAKER_00 1:24:31

Um, we called them chomos.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:33

Yeah, fuck the chomos then.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:34

Um, so like in men's prisons, right, you have to present your paperwork. That is not how it is in female prisons. Whether you're a snitch or a chomo, you don't have to show paperwork, right? So there's no such thing as bad paperwork in a female prison. You know, someone is a chomo. Um, so we have like you have email access, you have computer access and video visits that you can have. But if you're a chomo or on a sex offense, you do not have email access and you do not have access to video visits. So that's how you can usually pick up. And ironically enough, they all kind of look alike. Um, they all kind of have this creepy, like, yeah, I I don't know, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but like they have this creepy, like I touch children look. Like it's yeah, like the pedophile look.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:19

Yeah, we all know that look, we've seen that. It's a thing. You see a person out in public and you're like, that's a fucking pedophile. Dude, I've never in my life had that, I don't think. Bro, the Jeffrey Dahmer look, y'all, what do you mean? Y'all know what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:36

I don't think You know what he's talking about because I pointed it out to you. I'm like, that's choke.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:40

Very much a pedophile look, bro. What do you mean? I mean like Jeffrey Dahmer, I'm with you, but like I don't see a lot of people.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:46

Bro, you haven't seen you haven't seen old man, no hair, bald, weird, and he's like creepy old man. That's a thing. Yeah, I see that every day, but I don't immediately go childbuster, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:58

There's a pedophile.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:00

Maybe you should.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:01

There's very much a pedophile.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:02

Start questioning if you're around some chomos, because you probably are.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:06

I mean, I don't hang out with them. I'll tell you that.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:09

Are you sure? Do you know?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:10

Yeah, I mean, I ain't never seen them do it because I would say something. Of course, of course. I would say something. I would say something. I'll tell you what, I don't hang out with them. Now, if they're around, they're around. You know what I mean? We'll set them on fire. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:24

I would hope he would say something. I feel like you'd say something.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:27

Yeah, he would say something. Hell yeah. He'd be the first to say something. I would start with I would start with that.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:31

And then we would see what happens. This song bitch will tell you when you park wrong. I promise he would tell you.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:37

He would tell you if you're a pedophile. He'd beat their ass. I don't think I've ever just like looked at somebody and been like, that's a child bolester. I mean, but just because that's that's a very bold accusation. It's a pedo look. There's a look to it. Yeah. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:49

It's a pedal look.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:50

It's a pedo look. So yeah, so you knew who was a Cho, and there was most of them. So my bunky's girlfriend, she was one of the most disgusting, you know, because you can't obviously you don't have access to Google in there, so you like or not like but there's rumors of what they're there for. And when I heard the rumor, I was like, well, whatever. Like you just you you literally have to put what they're charged with aside, right? Like everyone gossips and everyone, but like so the I would say probably like three or four months into my stay into my bid, I was like, I don't want to know what anyone's here for because there's nothing I can do about it anyways. I have to integrate with them, you have to live with them, you have to work with them, you have to just it is what it is, right? You're there for right now. So the one time I almost got in a fight that I started was because this dumb bitch, Lacey fucking Brooks. Like you can see me getting pissed off because this so she was there for violating her one year old infant with I'm just gonna go with with electronic devices and sending pictures and videos and everything like that.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:55

Whip the shit out of her.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:01

I'm sorry, you're comparing $174,000 to what you did? No, fuck you. Like, we're not the same. That was the that like like it was moments like that where you're like, I can't believe this is my life. And that that's what makes doing time hard.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:16

Yeah. That's my wedding ring. No big deal.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:19

I mean, it kind of is a big deal.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:23

I can't quit playing with it. That's the problem. I don't have insurance on it yet. Toss something back to me, dog. Appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:31

That was awesome. It's no big deal. No big deal. It's just like my whole thing. No big deal.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:35

It's just your wedding ring. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:40

So, all right. So looking back now, would you have done, you know, like, you know, if you could go back, would you not not not for the aspect of all the money, anything, like life, this is life lessons and everything included. Would you change anything?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:54

No. Because getting out of prison, right? Like it it was about, I would say nine months into my so I was 18 months in, so nine months into my federal stay. Um like a light bulb switched. Like that's when the change started to happen. And I started to understand that like I was the common denominator and all of my problems. I was the reason I was here. Nobody put me there. And it's like, okay, if you're not gonna do this for yourself, like change, you're gonna do it for the people who are doing the time with you. That was my parents, right? And then I got out and I a week I had been out and I connected, reconnected. I wanted my friendship back with Thomas. And three, you know, fast forward two and a half years, and I'm in with the love of my life. I'm with my other, with my person, with my other half, right? Like and those are the three people and my aunts, my two aunts that have literally stuck by me. And so it's like, if you're not gonna do it for yourself, you're gonna do it for them. Yeah, and so no, I don't have any regrets because and I don't hate the person that I was because without her and without all the shit that she went through, I would not be sitting here.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:04

Yeah, yeah, you can't be right if you're if you're never wrong.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:07

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:08

That's true, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:09

You know, and it's it sucked, right? Like there was a lot of trauma and a lot of tears and a lot of heartache and a lot of questioning, like, am I good enough? Like, you know, when you when you look in the mirror and you hate the person staring back at you, that's dark. Yeah, and that's you know, and when I was in prison, right, I was surrounded with a lot of like it was almost like I was looking in a mirror, right? When I would meet certain people, and they were exactly acting exactly how I had been acting out on the outs, and I fucking hated it. I hated every second of it. I'm like, and it was like, oh, this is why you're here. And it just like it like clicked. Yeah, and it's like okay. And those last probably I would say the last eight months I was there, it that's when the change happened. And it was like, and my mom, like, you know, I talked to her now, she's like, I just you just started changing, you just started to be grateful, you started to just everything was lighter and different about you.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:04

Yeah, yeah, you seem like that now too. So, like, do you when you get out, do you have like the the PTSD or like after that switch, are you just good? No, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:13

No, no, so unfortunately, like when you are in prison, right, there's a lot of things. Prison is traumatic, and I and I don't say that to to gain sympathy because that's not what it is, but there is a lot of unintended consequences of sentencing that are out of the control of judges and lawyers and anybody else, right? So a woman committed suicide, right, when I was there, and I was walking. So the way that the housing unit was set up was there was two sidewalks that went like this. Um, so the housing unit, so imagine it like the housing unit was right here, and then there were two sidewalks. So, and then like right here was the hospital because it was a formal naval base, so it was a naval hospital. So we were on um and I was walking back from chow, which chow is like food, that's what they said, like the chow hall. And I see this arm on a stretcher, like laying like this, and I see someone on top, like pumping, and you can just tell like this woman is dead, right? And I'm like, okay, thinking she had a life sentence. No, she only had like a four-year sentence and she committed suicide, you know?

SPEAKER_03 1:32:13

Yeah. At least at four years, you could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah. She couldn't. But you never know, maybe they don't have anything to go back to. Maybe they screwed up their whole world outside, and they're like, I'd I'd rather, you know, I'd rather stay in here than go back to that.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:26

And that's you know, you never know. You see a lot of that. Like, there are some women who thrive in prison, who thrive in prison, and you understand why this is their second or third or fourth bid, right? Or they violate on probation. I did not fit in in prison. I I can imagine.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:40

I've I've known you for about three hours now. And if you took a poll of like a hundred people, I think 95 would say you've never been in prison because you're very nice. I cannot imagine that you not one person would vote.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:53

If you if you took a poll of this room, she would never get voted that she went to prison. It would be everybody else.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:01

So I did not fit in, right? But like, and we'll we'll put in some clips and like pictures, right? Like you could take photos, like on Saturdays, they would have Saturdays and Sundays, they had photo booths. So all the girls would dress up in their best grades and you do your hair.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:16

The best grades, yeah, Russell athletics. Gray is the new grays. That's what it was. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:24

Just like looking back, you wouldn't change anything. Um, is there anything I guess you want to say that's like closing remarks? Like, uh, I mean, I'm so you've got accepted into a couple different law schools, yes, which is incredible. Yes, so like talk about going for the other end of the spectrum.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:42

So, right, like I get out, right? Fast forward, I get out, and I took a chance and I texted Thomas, right? We hadn't talked for three years, so I didn't know if he was married in a relationship, had a kid. And the son of a bitch made me wait for like nine hours before he responded to my text.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:58

It's not even that long.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:00

It was long.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:02

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:03

He was working. No, he was not working if we're gonna be.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:10

Let it run. Oh, you were on another date? Oh.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:17

Stop trying to minimize it. You were on a date, anyways. And so he texted and then he responded, and I I just wanted my friendship back, and I never could have thought that it would grow into this full-blown relationship. And it was like I had my friend back, I had my parents, and then I go back to school, and it just grew into something that I never could have imagined, right? Like my life now, while is it is simple and drama-free, it is everything I could have ever imagined. And that's because of the choices I make, right? And because I have two parents that love me, and Thomas, who uh I mean you know, and and you know that you're married and you're with someone, right? Like when you have someone who just loves you unconditionally, like it doesn't matter what you do, and they're willing to get in the mud with you and just stay there with you, like that's it's almost overwhelming at times because you're like, what did I do to deserve this? But it's it's amazing and it's it's worth fighting for. So, like the me when I was on probation, the option of going back to prison never was an option. I wasn't gonna do it because I had something to lose. But I knew I wanted to go back to law school, right? And not only did I want to go back to law school, but my dad, he just was like, You gotta go back. So, like, not just for me, but for him. Like this law degree, going to school, it's it's for so many other people, other than just myself.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:37

Yeah, that's badass. Well, I hope that uh it sounds like you got a few offers.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:41

Yeah, so you're gonna be a lawyer someday. You might you might represent me one day. If I represent Bo, hell when yeah, you know, me and Bo are at the end of our lives. We're doing some stupid shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:50

Yeah, hurry up and be able to hurry up and get it.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:52

Hurry up and get your degree. It can be quicker than you think.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:58

Well, we enjoyed it. Uh appreciate you coming on.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:01

And thank you for giving me like a platform to talk about it and like share my side of the story and just low environment.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:07

When you hear somebody's been in prison, and I feel like you know, we don't have a lot of people that around us that have been in prison. Like a gangbangers and tattoos. Yeah, I think a crazy shit. And then you we talk to you, and holy shit, it's you're a normal person, super normal person that's been through what I think everyone fears the most in their life. So it's so cool to hear that perspective. So today, I mean, tonight's been fucking awesome. I know it's been fun. So cool. Well, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:32

Well, let's do another bad dog.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:38

Oh, I sound like a puppy.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:40

I enjoyed it.