Hey Fundraiser!

Permission-Based Fundraising: The Secret to Better Donor Relationships and Bigger Gifts

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0:00 | 22:39

Hey fundraiser! In this episode, I’m sharing a major mindset (and strategy) shift that changed everything for me in major gifts: Permission-Based Fundraising.

Years ago, I blew a solicitation—not because I asked for the wrong amount, but because I asked without permission. That moment reshaped how I approach every donor conversation, and today, I’m walking you through exactly how you can use this strategy to:

  • Build deeper trust with your donors
  • Create donor-led momentum through every stage of Moves Management
  • Eliminate awkward asks and surprise solicitations
  • Get more joyful, generous YESes (and fewer no-shows, ghostings, or "let me think about it"s)

This episode is packed with permission-based scripts, psychology-backed strategies, and real examples you can use right away. If you’ve ever felt unsure about when to ask or struggled to move relationships forward—this one’s for you.

💡 What You’ll Learn:

  • What permission-based fundraising is—and why it’s more powerful than pitch-based approaches
  • The difference between “making the ask” and inviting a gift
  • My favorite permission-based phrases you can use in donor meetings right now
  • Why asking permission actually speeds up your major gift results
  • How to keep the ball in your court while honoring the donor's autonomy
  • The #1 question to ask before you ever solicit a gift

🔗 Resources & Links:

10 Permission-Based Ask Examples for Fundraisers:

  • “Would it be okay if I shared an idea that I think really aligns with your passion for [X]?”
  • “When the timing feels right for you, I’d love to explore ways you could make a meaningful impact.”
  • “Can I show you what your support could unlock — just to get your thoughts?”
  • “Would you be open to hearing a vision we’re excited about — no pressure, just a conversation?”
  • “If you're curious, I could walk you through a few giving opportunities that match what you've told me matters to you.”
  • “Would it feel good to ex

🪑 The Small Table Intensive. Half a day. Build or rebuild your major gift program around fewer donors and deeper relationships, using the methodology from my book Small Table Big Philanthropy.

🎯 The Ask Workshop. Half a day. The exact words to use when it's time to ask for 5 and 6-figure gifts. Walk in nervous about the ask. Walk out with the script.

More from Mary:

📘 Mary's books. What to Say and Small Table Big Philanthropy. The books behind the methodology.

🔥 Major Donor Meeting Mastery. My step-by-step system for donor meetings that move the relationship forward.

👩🏻‍💻 Momentum Training. My complete packaging + ask system, all in one place.

💻 Connect with Mary Petersen