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Mastering the Major Gift Ask: 5 Solicitation Scripts To Set You Up for Success

• Mary Petersen

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In this episode, Mary Petersen tackles one of the most-asked questions in fundraising: “What exact words do I use to close a major gift?” Mary breaks down the anatomy of an effective ask—clarity, confidence, and connection—and shares five solicitation styles with real-world language, when to use each, and why they work. You’ll learn how to time the ask using permission-based fundraising, avoid common pitfalls (like being vague or asking too soon), and tailor your approach to each donor’s style so you walk into every meeting poised, prepared, and confident.

Key Takeaways

  • Tailor your ask to the donor’s style, motivations, and relationship stage.
  • Lead with confidence—never apologize for your ask.
  • Don’t ask too soon; use permission-based fundraising to confirm readiness.
  • Always include a specific dollar amount and what it funds.
  • Acknowledge past giving to build momentum for the next gift.
  • Silence after the ask is strategic—let it do the heavy lifting.
  • Different donors respond to different ask styles—match the method to the person.
  • Personalize by naming the program/outcome your donor cares about.
  • The “What would it take?” ask unlocks collaboration and negotiation with strategic donors.

Chapters

  • 00:00 — Transforming Panic into Poise
  • 02:49 — The Art of the Ask
  • 06:12 — Common Mistakes in Fundraising
  • 09:05 — Five Powerful Solicitation Styles
  • 26:29 — Tailoring Your Approach for Success

The Five Solicitation Styles (with sample language)

  1. Direct Ask — best for decisive, well-briefed donors
    “Sarah, we’re looking for partners to fund the new Food Pharmacy. Would you consider a gift of $100,000?”
    • Why it works: clear, concise, confident.
  2. Gratitude Ask — ideal for loyal donors stepping up
    “Lisa, your generosity has changed lives. We’d love to invite you to deepen your impact with a $500,000 gift for the new animal shelter.”
    • Why it works: honors history, creates momentum.
  3. Partnership Ask — perfect for lead/anchor gifts & insiders
    “Tom, you’re a champion of our mission. Would you consider investing $1 million to help us scale our food bank?”
    • Why it works: elevates the donor as a co-creator.
  4. Storytelling Ask — for heart-driven, first-time major donors
    “Mark, let me tell you about Maria… With $75,000, we can help 10 more families like hers in the next six months.”
    • Why it works: connects dollars to human outcomes.
  5. “What Would It Take?” Ask — for negotiators & strategic thinkers
    “Tim, what would it take for you to consider a $1 million

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SPEAKER_00:

Hi friends, welcome to the Hey Fundraiser Podcast. I'm your host, Mary Peterson, and whether you're a frontline fundraiser, an executive director, a board member, or someone just wanting to make an impact in your community, this podcast is for you. We cover all facets of fundraising, and our main objective is to give you ideas and inspiration to help you raise more money. Join us as we grow, learn, and make an impact together. Hey fundraiser, come on in. So in this episode, we are going to talk about my number one question that I get asked multiple times a day. I was going to say every day, no, it's like three, four times a day. And it is, what is the exact verbiage you use to close a gift? So I understand that there's a lot of panic out there, but we're gonna today we are gonna turn that panic into poise and we're gonna turn gift conversations into joyful, generous moments. So my name is Mary. Today we are going to go deep into one of the most important and one of the most avoided parts of our work, the major gift ask. Now, what I want to tell you today is that we're not just talking about a one-size-fits-all script. We're talking about the art of tailoring your ask to fit your donor's style, their motivations, and the stage in the relationship that you are with the donor. So I'm going to give you five powerful scripts, their major gift asks, real examples that I have used in my career, and help you understand when to use each and why they work. So without further ado, because this is worth the price of admission, let's first break down what makes an effective ask. Every major gift ask has three very specific things. It has clarity. The donor knows exactly what you were asking for. It has confidence. You're not apologizing for the number, the dollar number that you're asking for, or the needs that your organization has. Too often, fundraisers are apologizing, like, hey, I need to ask you for a gift. I'm so sorry to do this, but we really kind of need it. Absolutely not. You need confidence. So I'm hoping this helps you today. And also connection. A good ask reflects the donor's values, the timing, and the relationship to the work that you do. Before we get into the good stuff, let's talk about where many fundraisers go sideways. So here are the four biggest mistakes fundraisers make when they're asking for a major gift. First and foremost, it's asking too soon. You kind of skip the relationship and just jump to the pitch. That is not going to get you any major gifts. It might get you a go-away gift, what I like to call a go-away gift, which is like, oh, here's 5,000, buy. But if you're looking to really build deep transformational relationships, you don't want to ask too soon. Now, another question that I get almost on a daily basis is how do I know when it's time to ask for a gift? The answer is very simple. When you've gotten permission to ask for a gift. So I wholeheartedly believe in permission-based fundraising. I have videos, I have podcasts on this. You should check those out. Essentially, permission-based fundraising is aligning to next steps with your prospect before the meeting ends or the call ends. Like what's next? So even in my biggest solicitation, I asked in 2023, I asked somebody for$100 million. The meeting, which the meeting before that solicitation, which was a Zoom meeting, I said to that couple, I'm gonna fly down to Southern California. When we meet next, I would like to talk to you about a significant commitment to the organization. Would that be okay? And they said yes. Then I knew it was okay to ask. So don't ask too soon. Don't skip the relationship and jump to the pitch. Make sure that you're using permission-based fundraising and ask for permission to ask for a gift. If somebody says, gosh, now's not the right time, then you're not going to ask and have this super awkward moment with this donor. So if they say, Yeah, let's meet at the next meeting, then fantastic. But you should also know, like, I don't know, one out of three times when I say to a donor, like, hey, when we meet next, I'd like to talk to you about, you know, something special. They'll say, Well, what did you have in mind? And so you have to actually know what you want to ask for because sometimes donors will be like, I don't, I don't want to wait till the next meeting. Like, let's talk about it now. Okay, so first mistake, asking too soon. Second mistake is being vague. I hear fundraisers say some things like, Would you support the mission? No, no, no, no. You have to have a dollar amount. You must always say a dollar amount. So do not be vague. You want to say, would you consider a gift of$50,000 to fund our homelessness efforts? Would you consider a gift of$250,000 to fund a new SIM lab at the hospital? You would not be very successful if you just said, would you consider making a major gift? It's way too vague. Plus, what you have in mind as a major gift might be very different than what they're thinking. Believe me, I've made this mistake in the past. I asked somebody when I was like a little baby fundraiser, I asked them to make a major gift and they sent in a$2,500 gift. I should have asked them for a$50,000 commitment. In fact, like two months after I got that$2,500 gift, I read in my local newspaper that they had made a million-dollar gift to a museum in my town. And I was like, oh my gosh, like they just made a million over here, and I just got$2,500. Like, bah. Don't be vague. Very specific, very specific with a dollar amount and what you're asking them to fund. The third mistake is apologizing. Many fundraisers they shrink the ask. They talk too much because they become uncomfortable. They fill the silence with meaningless words because they're it feels better to talk than to just sit there in a potentially awkward moment. You do not need to apologize for asking for a gift. You are inviting someone to invest in the amazing work that your organization does. So you do not need to apologize. The biggest mistake, and this is what we're really going to dig into today, is asking, using the same verbiage every time you ask for a gift. Most fundraisers have one script and they use that one script for every donor, regardless of the donor style, regardless of the connection that the donor has to the organization, the connection the donor has to you. These fundraisers, they just have their one go-to. Now it's probably been successful, but we're really going to talk today about ask styles, and I'm going to give you five different ways to ask for a major gift. So you don't need the perfect words, you need the right approach. So make sure that when you're asking for a gift, you ask at the right time, don't ask too soon. Be very specific. Vague will get you nowhere. And be confident. You do not need to apologize or shrink or say, gosh, I really hate to do this, but I'd like to ask you for a gift. Absolutely not. Confidence. And then really tailor your ask to who you are talking to. So asking the same way every time is really not best practice. So let's dive into five powerful solicitations to use when making a major gift ask. I'm also going to dig into when to use each of them, who they work best for, and how to personalize each one to the donor that you're talking to. So many of my major gift momentum members and even my private coaching clients, literally, multiple times a day, tell me the exact verbiage you use when you're asking for a major gift. Now, when I get that question, I do give verbiage, and I'm going to give you verbiage today. However, I'm very clear with my momentum members and my private coaching clients that this is the bare bones ask. You want to develop and tweak your ask to who you're talking to. So you've been on this cultivation journey. You should know your prospect. This also is going to make sure you don't ask too soon. You should be able to pick out exactly what kind of ask you need to make to this particular person because of their style, what they care about, their connection, all the things. So I was getting this question so much, so many times every single day, that I really sat down. I sat out on my front porch, I took a notebook and a pen, and I started to think back on all my solicitations and all the different ways that I've asked for a gift. And I wrote down 15 ways that I've asked for gifts and it's been very successful. And I'm going to share five with you today. Major Gift Momentum is hands down one of the best continuing education programs in fundraising. No tote bags, no vague inspiration, just five, six, and seven-figure results. Inside Major Gift Momentum, you get access to my entire major gift curriculum and weekly coaching calls where we dig into your specific fundraising strategies. We're going to hone your prospect list, tighten up your ask, and build a plan that gets you results faster. Need a pep talk before a big solicitation? I am available and in your corner. Major Gift Momentum is for fundraisers who want to crush goals, build confidence, and close transformational gifts fast. This is real-world fundraising support that actually moves the needle. If you're ready for the big league, head to hey fundraiser forward slash momentum. You're not alone anymore, fundraiser, and the money's out there waiting for you. Let's dive into the very first ask style. This is the bare bones ask, and I call it the direct ask. It is the first building block to really tailoring your solicitation. Now, you're going to notice a couple things when I tell you this verbiage. First, I'm going to start with the prospect or the donor's first name. I always do that. It's just a connection part. When people hear their name, they pay attention, they make eye contact. So here's the verbiage for the direct ask. Sarah, we're looking for partners to fund the new food pharmacy. Would you consider a gift of$100,000? Okay, why does this ask work? One, it's very clear. Sarah knows that what program I'm asking her to fund, the food pharmacy, and she knows exactly the amount of money I'm asking for. It's very confident. You can see I didn't cower, I didn't stutter, I knew exactly what I wanted to say, and I know that, like in my head, that Sarah wants to make a difference, my organization makes that difference. So I'm just putting those two things together. And there's absolutely no fluff. So the direct ask is really perfect for decisive donors, donors who are people who already know your work very well. So when you want to use the direct ask, you want to make sure that your donor has a clear track record of giving, that you've had strong discovery and cultivation conversations, and they respect straightforwardness. Now, if you'd like to personalize it a little more, you could use a strong subject and not such a passive voice. So you could anchor it in more like partnership language. Like, would you consider leading with us? Would you consider joining us at the$100,000 level for the food pharmacy? Now, when you're using the direct ask, you want to, or really, you know what? Any ask, avoid this in all asks. You don't want to add disclaimers or softeners. You do not need to do that. I've been on solicitations where my colleagues will say, you know, would you consider a gift of$50,000 only if it's not too much? Nope, nope, nope. You've done your research, you've gotten permission to ask, you need three things in your ask. You need to say their first name, you need to say the program that you're hoping for them to support, and you need to say the dollar amount. That's it. No softeners, no disclaimers, don't shrink, head high, shoulders back, chin up, all the things. The big pro tip that I should mention here is anytime you ask for a gift, and you probably know this already, fundraiser, but you want to pause. You want to let the silence do the heavy lifting. You don't want to be the next person to talk after you make your solicitation. Now, a lot of people get nervous and they think like, oh my gosh, it's such an awkward like 10 seconds. It's really not fundraiser. I'm gonna break this down. So let's say I ask you for a$100,000 gift. Well, in your mind, as the prospect who's being solicited, you're thinking like, well, you know, my niece is getting married in the fall, and I promise to pay for the catering, and or my son's getting ready to go to college, and I, you know, he didn't get as many uh scholarships as I thought andor support. So that's gonna cost me$50,000 a year. Or they might be thinking, like, gosh, I just put a bunch of money into an investment, and that investment is locked up for three months. Like, so while you're sitting there being very quiet and not speaking, fundraiser, there's actually a lot happening in the head of your prospect. So your prospect doesn't really think of it as an awkward silence. The wheels are literally turning. And the more you ask, the more that you'll be able to literally look into the eyes of your donor and your prospect and see the wheels turning. So even though it might feel like five years, it's really five seconds, ten seconds, but what might seem like an awkward pause is not that awkward. But you always want to pause after the ask. Do not be the next person to speak. Let the silence do the heavy lifting. Okay, let's get into the next solicitation type. I like to call this the gratitude ask. This is about recognizing that this person has given before. And so you're you're not only are you thanking them for their previous giving, but you're setting it up for the next major gift. Here's the verbiage. Lisa, your generosity has changed lives. We'd love to invite you to deepen your impact with a$500,000 gift that is going to go directly to support our new animal shelter. And pause. Okay, why does this work? It recognizes pastgiving. It also frames this ask as like the next logical step in this relationship that you have with your prospect. It also builds emotional momentum because if you're Lisa and I've just asked you for a$500,000 gift, and it's the second, or not even the second, but the net the next major gift after maybe many major gifts, Lisa is gonna start to think back to all of her gifts and all of your stewardship efforts. And if you've really done things right, she's gonna say yes. So it builds momentum on all of her experiences with your organization. Now, you want to use this particular ask, the gratitude ask, to for loyal donors who have given very consistently, but not at a stretch level. That is another type of ask that I'm actually not going to talk about today, but you really want to use this for loyal donors, where it might be a small step up in their skiving. It's really not a campaign gift, it's not a stretch gift. This this ask is really good for like end of year, it's good for anniversary asks. So, like, hey, Lisa, this you might not know this, but this is your 10th year of consecutive giving. And we really want to make a splash. You have given so consistently to our animal welfare programs that the next step is really this shelter. We would love for you to celebrate your 10th anniversary with us with a meaningful gift of 500k. Okay, um, when you personalize this, you need to use specifics. Now, in my example with Lisa, I said, we'd love to invite you to deepen your impact by supporting the animal shelter. I would really try to be more specific. Like you could say, last year you funded 10 scholarships to our university. We'd really love to get you to 15 scholarships. So frame it as an invitation, not an obligation, and use specifics. I think you could also, this is a pro tip. When I do the gratitude ask before the solicitation meeting, I like to do like a brief video to tee up the tone. That video could be you and a program person. I mean, literally on your phone, it does, it should not be a big production. Uh, it should cost you nothing. So on your phone, film a three-minute video that says, Hey, I know we're getting together this week, Lisa. But before we do that, I just have to show you all the things you've helped us create. And you and your program person can just talk for a couple minutes or do a little phone tour or whatever it is. Okay, next ask type is the partnership ask. This one is one of my favorites. It really honors the relationship between donor and organization. So here is the verbiage for the partnership ask. Tom, you are a champion of our mission. Would you consider investing$1 million to help us scale our food bank? Now, why this works is that donors want to feel like insiders. This type of ask makes them feel essential to the vision. You want to use this ask when you're asking for a lead gift, like an anchor ask. If you're doing a big capital campaign ask, the partnership ask is the one you want to pull out of your back pocket. You also want to use this when the donor has organizational influence. So they're a board member, they're a high capacity donor who is, you know, funder who has made multiple major gifts in the past, like someone who has actually really been a champion. They're showing up, they've been giving gifts, they know your programming, all the things. If you'd like to personalize this further, one way you could do that is to use we language. So something like, Tom, together we could reach 5,000 more families and put food on their tables. So this is where you're you're again showing that they're a partner, that they're a champion, that the they and the work are coming together to make huge change in the world. Okay, next ask type is the storytelling ask. This is for people who really give from their heart. They want the emotion, they want to be moved, they they want stories that bring a tear to their eye. Like they don't mind crying, they don't, they want to feel things. So here is how the storytelling ass goes. Mark, let me tell you about Maria. Maria and her son went from living in their car to an apartment and Maria full-time work within eight months. You helped us do that with a gift of$75,000. We could help 10 more people like Maria in the next six months. Okay, so a lot of things there. One, I use the name, always use the name. Second, I told a little story. It it wasn't five minutes long, it's Maria. She went from this to this, and it said the dollar amount. And it was really based on programming. Like you you had a little story about Maria, and then and then he he's thinking, wow, like six months, like Maria, her life completely changed. And then Mark in his head is thinking, wow, I could do this for 10 more people like Maria. So the reason this works is because it's anchored in emotion and human impact. It this ask is very powerful for first-time major donors. Like they might be giving to your organization, um, but they're not giving at that major gift level. This is the perfect way to ask when you're just starting that major gift conversation with a long-standing annual donor. Okay, when to use it. You could use it in event follow-ups, you could use it for first major ask moments, um, you could use it in early stage asks, but when the donor needs to feel the need before they fund it, you really want to use the storytelling ask. Okay, so if you want to personalize this a little bit, you can use a story from a program that the donor cares about. And, you know, deliver, I mean, as much as you can, deliver the story very naturally. It literally should be no more than three sentences. Two is better, but no more than three. You want to avoid telling too much. One story, one outcome, one opportunity to help. You don't want one story where there's six characters, and then you kind of get back to the ask, but you you might have lost, you know, mark in the storytelling. So really succinct. The final ask type that we're going to talk about today is the what would it take ask. This one is also one of my favorites. It's it's really brought in a ton of gifts. And it's just it's for a very, very specific type of donor. So I want you to think of your attorneys who you know love to negotiate. So if I'm talking to an attorney, I would not say, Tim, would you consider a gift of$10,000 to support our domestic violence line? What I would say is, Tim, what would it take for you to consider a$1 million investment in our domestic violence line? And then let him talk. That's a completely different ask. And it's one that is he's going to respond to because you know he loves to negotiate. Now, be prepared that when you do the what would it take ask, that you're going to get an answer. Like, what would it take, you know, for you to consider a million dollars? Tim might come back with something cheeky and say, Well, you know what it would take? It would take me winning the lottery. And then, of course, you can laugh and get back to, no, what would it really take? But this works because it gives the donor power and flexibility. It's also great for high network donors who are super strategic. It opens up negotiations, it also opens up collaboration. So when you're using the what would it take ask, not only are you opening it up for your prospect or your donor to say something like, Oh, it would, you know, I would consider it, but I would need to move some money around. Great. But you're also opening it up to I it would take a change in whoever's leading this program because I maybe I don't agree with what their vision is. So just be careful because when you are with those negotiators and you literally say what would it take, they're gonna tell you. Okay, so when do you use this ask? You use it when you're absolutely sure they're gonna say yes, and you use it for your attorneys, your business people, your thinkers, your investors. The other way to kind of personalize it, like if you want to twist it up a little bit, you could say things like you've said in the past that scaling matters. What would it take to fund the domestic violence line at scale? So tying it back to program is a really nice way to personalize it. Now, when you do this, the biggest thing you want to avoid is asking too early. So use this only when you have a very strong relationship and there's a lot of trust between you and the donor. Okay, fundraiser, these are five of my 15 ways. So we've talked about making a direct ask, we have talked about a gratitude ask, we've discussed the partnership ask, the storytelling ask, and the what would it take ask. So as you're thinking about your upcoming solicitations, I would highly, highly recommend that instead of going to that one ask that you've used for the last five years for every donor type, really think about who you are talking to and tailor your ask, I mean, every word, to what's going to get that person to respond. So major gifts, they the ask doesn't have to feel forced. When you lead with the right style, the right tone, the right invitation, I promise you, it all just clicks together. It takes away the fear, the sweaty palms that fundraisers get when they're driving to the meeting to make an ask because you know you've thought through everything. So if this was helpful, follow the show, leave a review, and send it to your team so that they never panic before an ask again. Now, I am putting several things in the show notes, a couple downloadables. Fundraiser, you are doing the brave work. I'm here to help. I will see you next time. Hey Fundraiser, thanks so much for being here today. Did you know that we create a special page for each episode that contains helpful links, episode highlights, standout quotes, and freebies? Check it out in today's podcast description. If you loved what you heard today, would you kindly give us a rating and review? It really helps other fundraising professionals find our Hey Fundraiser community. I'm Mary Peterson and thank you for listening.