“10 Days Apart… 10 Minutes Too Close 😂 | Space, Chaos & Finding Balance”

In this episode of Feathered In Grace & Armor, Gina and Chadd recap a whirlwind 10 days that had everyone going in different directions…

Chadd headed back to Indiana, Drew & Jess were off to North Carolina for a wedding, Rachael came into town—and somehow, Gina found herself holding it all together, helping with the girls alongside three other grandmothers. 😅

Let’s just say… when everyone finally came back together, it was a lot of love… and a lot of togetherness.

They open up about what it’s like being in each other’s space, why 10 days apart might be okay… but 10 days back together can feel like a lot, and how important it is to find balance in marriage and family life.

🌮 Then comes taco night…
 where a simple dinner turns into a powerful and unexpected moment after they ask their server if they can pray for him—and his response? You won’t see it coming.

Gina also shares insight into the 777 & 555 rule—a practical way to stay intentional, connected, and strong as a couple through the chaos of life.

This episode is real, funny, and full of those everyday moments that remind us what marriage and family are really all about.

💬 Be sure to listen, like, and leave a review—we’d love to hear from you!

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Welcome to Feathered in Grace and Armor. I'm Gina.

SPEAKER_00 0:04

And I'm the Armor part of this podcast. I'm Chad.

SPEAKER_03 0:07

Together, we're here to explore the beautiful balance between grace and strength in our lives.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

In a world that often pushes us to choose sides, softness or toughness, vulnerability or resilience, we believe the true power lies in embracing both.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

Each week, we'll dive into heartfelt conversations, share inspiring stories, and discuss the lessons we've learned on our journeys of faith, love, and personal growth.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

So join us as we uncover how to walk through life gracefully, all while wearing the armor of God against the challenges we face.

SPEAKER_03 0:39

Whether you're a man or a woman, our hope is that this podcast becomes a source of encouragement and wisdom for you.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

So let's spread our wings and forge ahead together on this adventure of life, love, and the pursuit of grace. Hello again, everybody, and welcome back to the Feathered and Grace and Armor Podcast. I'm Chad. I'm Gina. And we have an exciting episode. I think every episode is exciting, isn't it, babe?

SPEAKER_03 1:05

It is for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

It is for me because I get the opportunity to spend some quality time with you.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Wow. That's so good.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

It's always fun because sometimes our topics are so fresh and so clean, and I have no idea what we're going to talk about. But we know we have to stay consistent on doing these podcasts, and we still get great feedback from people.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

We do.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

And the other day you said we had like 50 some downloads on a podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

Yeah, last week.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

It wasn't on just one, it was like a combination. It was a combo platter. Yeah, which was um which was really neat to see because it showed that people had gone way back.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

To start to start listening.

SPEAKER_03 1:52

Yeah, well, maybe like I don't know, maybe it was the topic.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

They were trying to find some nuggets.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Yeah, of a certain topic, and they'd gone back to listen. So that I I love to see that.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Well, that's cool. Well, hey, we're here at the Casita Clubhouse Studios.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

We don't know what to call it.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

We don't know what to call it, but we're we're here and we're having a good time.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

We we should probably talk about that just like a little smith. A little update. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

I mean, there's really no update, but it's we're still here. We're still living in tiny, tiny ville.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

We're still managing an 800 square feet. Wow. We really are.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

I was telling somebody on my drive back, I was I was I was telling them, you know, you go from like a 2500 or 3500 down to eight, nine hundred square feet, it really teaches you what you don't need.

SPEAKER_03 2:39

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

And what you can absolutely live without.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

And um we keep we keep saying that, don't we? Yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

And what's interesting is even though I when I was thinking about that, we were talking about we were talking about the food, and we were talking about growing your own food and having a garden, having chickens, or you know, how they used to do it back in the day and living on a compound, and everybody, you know, put into the to the family pool, and right how over the last whatever hundred years we got away from you know, having family compounds and yes, you know, I got the opportunity to talk to Grandma Cook. Oh, yes, with regards to chickens, animal. And uh yeah, she's she's a feisty old bird. Uh she uh loved her so much. She was telling me about, you know, you know, having the garden and having you know, they a lot of their food was right there on their property. And uh, you know, it just makes you wonder what you know what what could be.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

It does. Well, our update is that we are the closest we've ever been. Good lord. Through this process. Our plans are almost finalized. We we are we are right there. We're right there.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

We're getting clarity.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

We are getting clarity. It's it's so close. It it has been the plans have been. This is what I'm this is what I'm hoping that this is the most complicated part of the process. Could we just hope for that?

SPEAKER_00 4:07

Yeah, I mean, you know, the rest is moving dirt and throwing up some cinder block and some two by four two by fours in.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

It's the plans that have been, and like we're not building a mansion. We're it's 1,500 square feet. But anyway, that's where we are. So we'll keep you guys posted. But but we are we are very close. Very, very close.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Very close.

SPEAKER_03 4:28

Very close. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 4:31

Do you want to know what we're talking about today?

SPEAKER_00 4:33

I do because I think our listeners are excited. They're like on the edge of their seats in their car, and they're like, get to the point already. I I'm trying to go to work or I've got things to do.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

Well, one thing I do want to say is I I I want people to understand how important this podcast is to us because I I have people ask, so how do you make money off of this podcast? And I say, We don't make a penny off of this podcast.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

We're trying to change lives, people.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

And but it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

It it isn't that's not why we wanted to do it. This is uh a labor of love. This is uh a ministry for us. We just want to be here for people. We wanna we want to be able to, you know, be a support.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

We want to be the light. We want to be the light.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

We we want to be, you know, we want you to go, oh my gosh, yes, like there are people that are going through the things that I'm going through, and um just being able to to put it out there, right? To for the realness and the authenticity. So that is why we do it. It's we we don't make anything from doing this. And I just wanted people to know that it's just it's a because I get that question.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

And I just wanted to say it.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

Well, now it's out there, it's out there.

SPEAKER_03 6:09

So thank you for listening to us. And like I said, every time you do give us that five-star review, if you feel we're worthy of it, it does help it to grow to get to more people, which is our goal. That's our end goal.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

So we just came off of ten days of being apart.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

Gina came off of ten days of me not being a thorn in her side.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

That is not true because pain in your rear.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Well, you did have a lot going on over the last 10 days.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

I did, but I still missed you so much.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

I missed you, baby. I did not like it one bit.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

No, it's not fun. It's not fun going going ten days. It's not. Wednesday, Wednesday through Monday is is is about the breaking point. Yeah, we're much over that and it's it's not good.

SPEAKER_03 7:04

So it's not, but this again is our reality, right? Because because of the blending and because of kids being in Indiana, kids and clients and clients that you need to see and spend time with. And so we have to sacrifice our time together for that right now. And that is, you know, I I always want to say that because I'm sure there's people out there that are doing the same that are blended.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

And but it was not easy. I had a very um it was it was an emotional roller coaster as I was describing it.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

Well, why don't you tell us why it was an emotional roller coaster?

SPEAKER_03 7:47

Okay, I will. So on Thursday, you left like at 5 a.m. Jumped in the jumped in your car and took a She-Wagon and down the road I went. Because you decided you needed to DJ a wedding in Indiana, so you packed up all your DJ equipment.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

Okay, TV time out real quick first. The only reason I agreed to do the wedding was because it was the brother of the two sisters that started started out Todd and I's, you know, singing wedding singer career back like 15 years ago, or a long time ago.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

We did both of his sisters' weddings, and I wasn't gonna not go up there. They they're there, they were like, We've we you're a part of our family now, Chad. Aw, yes. That's great. But that's why I drove up there and it was a great little wedding.

SPEAKER_03 8:35

You did, and then you obviously um spent time with clients and spent time with um two of your two of our kids in Indiana and a granddaughter. So that was good. But you left on Thursday morning and then Friday our daughter Rachel flew in from Indianapolis and came here and spent the weekend with us here and was able to spend time with her mom and her brother and her sister-in-law and her nieces. And it it was great and it was amazing, but also it was very emotional because you know, I miss her so much, and then seeing her with her nieces and seeing um my son and her together, you know, they they miss each other, and then you know, that just it filled my heart, but also it like made my heart sad because they're not together a lot. So she left on Monday, and then you know, you were still gone, and then I'm going through the week, and then uh Drew and Jess went to a wedding in North Carolina and they left Thursday night. So then I'm helping with the three granddaughters along with the other grandmothers, and we're all tag teaming these girls, which is wonderful, and I love spending time with them. But I was like, then everybody was gone. So, like everybody was off compound, you know, you were gone, the kid, like the adult kids were gone, Rachel was gone. Yeah, and then throw this in there. I missed my Turtle Tribe girls trip that we take every year with um there's eight of us, and our kids grew up together, and it was this weekend, this past weekend, and I wasn't able to go because I'd already committed to the kids that I would help with the girls. And when you have three girls and they're four, two, and eleven months, it you know, you need all hands on deck.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

So and I will say, I I think that's really pretty impressive that your gal pals get together every year. You know, I'm just I'm curious, like how many, you know, how many people, how many people actually have that kind of relationship with eight or nine or ten of their friends, you know, throughout, you know, 25, 30 years that you every year you get together, you go do something, or you at least, you know, all get in one city and you know, hang around with each other. So that's that's really pretty cool.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

Yeah, it is. And it it's um it's really special. So I, you know, I told him, send me all the pictures. I want to, I want it to be like I'm there. And um, there were two of us missing from that group. Mandy wasn't able to go this year either. And sometimes that happens. Sometimes we can't all be there, but we always make our best effort to all be together. So anyway, it was just a lot of emotions for me. And it was just an emotional week, emotional 10 days. And I told all of you, don't you ever do this again. Don't ever leave one time. All of you are coming in and out, coming and going, all gone at the same time. I can't handle it. It doesn't work for me. So, you know, what I wanted to talk about then, it kind of brought me into this where so Chad and I have to be, as we talk about at great length on this podcast, really intentional with our relationship and how we stay connected because we have to be apart. We at least once a month, but usually not for 10 days, usually like half of that time.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Yeah, and if I have anything to do with it, it'll never be 10 days again. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

Thank you, Jesus. Because no, it was no. I was like, this is no. It's way too long.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

I love my Indiana peeps. Of course we do. Oh man, 10 days is a lot.

SPEAKER_03 12:38

Yeah, and it's not that, it's not about being in Indiana because if we were together for 10 days there, it would have been different. But yeah. So it just kind of brought me to some things that um I wanted to share that I just think are good, um, I don't know, little nuggets or little things for people, you know, when you're doing relationship together. And one of them is called the 777 rule. And so every seven days you should have a date night. And it doesn't have to be, you know, expensive. You don't even have to go anywhere. You could literally have the date night in your home. It just means that it's a dedicated, uninterrupted, and undistracted time, intentional time together for you to reconnect. And yeah, and and it doesn't I guess it doesn't even have to be a night, right? Right. Because, for example, we had been apart. You came in late afternoon Sunday, you helped me finish up with the girls before the kids got home Sunday evening because you're the best papa ever. And so Monday, I I had already cleared my schedule for Monday. I didn't see any clients Monday because I knew I needed I was gonna need a day.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

It was Monday fun day.

SPEAKER_03 14:01

It was Monday fun day for Papa and Gigi. So we were able to go to lunch together and get tacos like we love to do. And we were just then able to like come back and just be in each other's space. We didn't have to really do anything, it was just sitting, reconnecting. Like, I think I feel bad for you because I just feel like I was verbally vomiting all over you because I'm like, oh my gosh, it's been 10 days and I blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

I don't think you were oh good. I didn't think you were bad.

SPEAKER_03 14:32

I'm glad because I just felt like I was going, and then da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Because I just felt like I had so much to catch you up for you.

SPEAKER_00 14:39

You definitely were recapping the entire 10 days in full detail, like you do. That's what I mean, counselor. Okay, so I was well, it wasn't annoying, or I wasn't saying, Oh my god, this isn't annoying. When is she gonna stop? Like because we all know that you go into fine fine detail, and uh you are a great storyteller, and you're very detail-oriented. I like how you're reframing this. Clarif clarity oriented.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

I love the reframing of the positivity.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Well, yes, so but I do want to go back because we had a very interesting lunch date.

SPEAKER_03 15:12

Oh, yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Can we talk about that?

SPEAKER_03 15:15

We can talk about whatever we want. I mean, we this is our this is our time.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Because what the kid did was totally blew me away. I was not expecting it.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Blew us away.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

I mean, I I figured we would ask and see if there was anything we could pray for, but you tell the story because it was great.

SPEAKER_03 15:31

So, and we've mentioned this too on this podcast, and we've encouraged people to do this, where we've said we will go out for dinner, go through drive-thru or whatever. If we're at the grocery store, whatever, we'll say at the end, or or you know, sometime during our time there, we'll, hey, is there anything that we can pray for you? And so we did that during our lunch Monday. This kid, he I don't know, what he's probably in his early 20s. And Chad was listening to him talk and said something like, I think he has kind of like a New York, New Jersey accent. And so he came back to our table to wait on us, and and he was he was such a pleasant young man. Oh, he was very pleasant. And gosh, we sound so old, but anyway. Um I said, Are you from New York or New Jersey? And he was like, Well, oddly enough, I'm not. He said, I'm from here, but my whole family is.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

So full stop right there. Like, I had made the comment to Gina. Oh, he looks like he's from New York, New Jersey. Hey, Gina, no need to ask him where he's from. But Gina, full counselor mode, bruh, let's find out where he's from.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

I'm like, well, let's have it.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Let's get let's let's find out where he was born. Where'd my grandparents from? Like, what's your family history? Like, seriously. And so that's how it all started, which it typically does. Oh my gosh, I know. I'm not gonna be like, hey, buddy, where are you from? But Gina, Gina's like, well, let's let's get right into it. So so this kid has his I think his parents were from New York. I mean, he he's a good-looking Italian young man. He was. I said, Are you Italian? And he said yes.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

I said, Okay. Tall and skinny, but so he then, you know, went on and then came back later. Right. And he just been such a great, like we said, very pleasant, very attentive um server.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

I think he said something about have a blessed day. And I think that's what kind of carried us into you asking.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

It could have been. And then I said to him, Hey, is there anything that we can pray for you? And he was like, Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

Wasn't expecting that.

SPEAKER_03 17:52

He goes, I wasn't expecting that. And he said, Yes, my grandfather has six brain tumors, and he's going through treatment, and he's kind of like, I think he's kind of like the glue for their family. And because he mentioned something like that, like very important to our family. And he said, I said, Well, what is his name? And he said, Well, his name's his name is Charles, but if you ever called him that, he would not be happy about it. His name, his it's pop, pop, pop, pop. And I said, Oh, okay. And I said, Well, we'll pray for him. And he goes, Okay, let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

And the kid got down on his knee, put his hands out, and was like, Let's let's get it. Bring it in. Bring it in. Let's see if you guys are really gonna pray.

SPEAKER_03 18:42

Bring it in. And he great, he went for our hands, and so we held hands.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Which for that's the first time that's ever happened.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

That is a normally people just tell us what to pray for.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Normally they just tell us they're not like and we walk away. Yeah, and especially for a young kid like that. I was blown away.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

I was blown away as well.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

So he kneeled down, we we all held hands and uh Gina said a wonderful prayer for his pop pop and him, and it was just great.

SPEAKER_03 19:08

It was, and then it was it was such a beautiful moment, and also it it's so true because we do typically just say, Okay, we'll pray for you. And instead, we should be saying, Let's do it right now. Yeah, because our pastor even makes one of our pastors at our church makes a funny about this where he'll be like, you know, oh, can I pray for you? And he's like, if somebody says that to me and walk away, goes, I don't believe they're gonna pray for me. Like, let's do it right now. Like, come on, like, you know, and so I was like, Right, that's so true. Like you walk away and you might forget.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

Um, and so your intention is good, but you just might forget. So it was really powerful to do it right then and there. So I am gonna encourage all of you, like take that next step and just do it right then and there. Yeah. Because what an amazing moment that was. And I don't think we'll ever forget it.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Yeah, no, but just start, just start praying for people.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

So, okay, so that was our that was our lunch.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

That was our and it it was such a uh unforgettable moment that I actually forgot my credit card there.

SPEAKER_03 20:21

You did, and you had to go back last night and get it. Yes, yes. So on the other part of that too, I was gonna say, um, I was so I think this inspired me to do that because um our son Drew, we go to church together, obviously, here, and he told me last week that he goes to the he goes to a gym and he went to the gym and he's like, I'm gonna start before I leave the gym, I'm gonna find somebody to to pray with and ask if they need prayers. And so he was leaving the gym last week, and there's a girl that always works in the front, and he said to her, um, hey, uh, do you need prayers for anything? And she's like, I do. And he prayed with her right there. Wow. And I was like, Oh, okay. That's my sign. I better get it together and start doing that too. So yes, okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Well, just think of how many opportunities you have throughout a day as a Christian to pray for people or to talk to people. Yeah. To actually physically look at them and and have, you know, whether it's a long conversation, short conversation, and it doesn't have to be long.

SPEAKER_03 21:31

No, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

But just think about how many interactions, thousands of interactions every day. Yes. And can you at least take one opportunity to pray for somebody, tell them Jesus loves them something.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

Right. Yeah. Okay, so let's get back to our seven seven seven seven seven seven. So every seven days, like, do you know some kind of date. So, like I said, it doesn't have to be at night, doesn't have to be expensive. You can do it. In your home, you can do it on a walk, but it's just that uninterrupted, intentional time.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Uninterrupted.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

No phones.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

No phones.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

Why are you laughing?

SPEAKER_00 22:13

I was going somewhere else with it. You can do it in your home. You can do it at the park. You can do it in your car.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

We took care of that too. That was part of our date day. That was in the morning before we went to the line.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

See, all my all my thoughts could just go to one place. And you're still talking about I I don't even hear the other parts. I'm it's terrible.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

No, it's not because we're married and we're That's true. And we're, you know. So anyway, okay. So then the next seven is every seven weeks, try to do a night away, like a weekend getaway. Like an overnight stay, like just a little break from your home and the routine, because you can, you know, fall into like, oh, let me just throw a little laundry in because we're here, kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

I feel like Danny and Ryan did that a lot. They they would like live in Indianapolis, but they'd go downtown Indianapolis and stay in a hotel. I was like, I always thought it was dumb, but then I was like, Oh, that's brilliant.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

But they would they would go to Fort Wayne and go to the Bradley the next day one night, just for the heck of it. That's crazy. Yeah. I don't think they do it now where they live in Michigan because there are no hotels close to that. They have to drive. Yeah, they have to drive to find one, but they still they're they're good about this.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:32

And then every seven months, do a longer, more significant, like romantic trip to, you know, like it could be like a longer vacation, right? Not just an overnight, could be three to five days. Um so, and obviously, don't get hung up on the seven, seven, seven, but basically that's just a good indicator. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

And it's a good number.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

You can be flexible, but you really should be doing those things. And one thing I coach with a lot of women that I work with, because women we have very difficult time with self-care, is that same thing where once a week you have to do something just for yourself, and then every quarter you it needs to be like a little bit more, and then once a year you need to do like a retreat. So this is the same for couples.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

I like it. I like it a lot.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

And the benefits of that is um it kind of prevents like the roommate syndrome because sometimes stagnation. Yes, yes, and you kind of yes, you just take each other for granted, you kind of drift apart. Um, and so you want to make sure that you're keeping that romance alive and intentionality, right? Right. Right. Okay. Um, then there's also this is this is something too. Can we go back to that? Yeah, we can go back to any kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

Can we go back to that? Let's go back to that, that, that getting away. Yeah. What when when are we gonna get away?

SPEAKER_03 24:59

So yes, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

When are we thank you?

SPEAKER_03 25:01

You're this is brilliant. You're right. We are not, I feel like we are good at the once a week.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

Yeah. We try that. I mean, it's pretty.

SPEAKER_03 25:11

I mean, it's for the most part, it's not okay. I feel like our weeks are pretty full. They just they go so fast, they go so fast. So I feel like but we I feel like we are pretty good at once a week taking some time for just us and being intentional with that. We are not good with the overnight getting away because you know what? Yeah, and we should we should be practicing what we preach because uh for me from my perspective, we have still we have never taken a vacation, just the two of us.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Right.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

We have never. We've gone places, we've done things, but not just the two of us. Correct. It's been because we're going to a wedding or we're going with other people, or but you know, it's we have never just taken a vacation.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

Well, I I say we take care of that. I let's just book it. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 26:11

Yes. Chat is all about just booking it Dano.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:14

And Gina's like, can we plan? Can we plan?

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Always the planner.

SPEAKER_03 26:21

Okay, now can we are you done with it? Yes. But no, we need to practice what we preach.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

I want you to practice it soon.

SPEAKER_03 26:28

You know, first we should probably just do the overnight. The one overnight would be good. Yes, let's go downtown Tampa. Like there's lots of hotels and beaches. We could okay. All right, all right. We got to hold each other accountable. Okay. Okay, so then there's also the five-five-five rule for couples.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Interesting. We went from seven to five.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Okay, so I think the sevens are like the fun stuff.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 26:55

And not that fives are not the fun stuff, but the five buckle up men, you know what's coming. Oh, I can't.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

It's right, it's right here, right now. Counselor is gonna be in full.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

Why do you think I'm only speaking to men?

SPEAKER_00 27:09

No, no, no. I know you're well, I mean, I'm I don't know. That guilty is charged.

SPEAKER_03 27:14

Wow. Are you is there something you need to confess?

SPEAKER_00 27:18

No. Okay. No, not yet.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

Well, the the so the five minutes, so it's like partner A, partner B, right? So, like, okay, Chad gets five minutes to express his feelings, his needs, his perspectives, or an issue while I listen without interrupting or responding.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Are we doing that on this podcast?

SPEAKER_03 27:41

No, I'm just saying I get five minutes. You get five minutes and I to, you know, talk about anything that, like you said, like feelings, um, needs, perspectives, issues that have come up.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

Right.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

Right? You get five minutes, and I can just listen and I cannot say anything or respond.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

And then I get five minutes to do the same. And you're going to just listen and not respond. And then we're going to come together as a couple and talk through all of that for five minutes working towards a resolution using mutual respect, right?

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 28:19

Okay. So that's the five by five rule. And the benefits of that, which is what I really love, is like it it it de-escalates conflict because it starts kind of like stops the cycle of like the instant like responses, right? Back and forth. And so it allows somebody to like have say everything they need to say before somebody responds. And it definitely helps you work on your active listening skills. Like, I need to listen and not be worrying about what I'm gonna say or how I'm gonna respond. Um, and then there's like equality because both partners get equal time, and then it just encourages like a deeper understanding because there's more structure, and so it's a more calm approach that can help you get to like the root of the problem. And um I think it it's a way like there's there's also another version of it that you can use, which we talk about like checking in with each other daily. Yeah, but like using five minutes to talk about your day. And you know, like you get five minutes to tell me like how did your day go? And I get five minutes to say, like, how did my day go? And then we might discuss something a little deeper, such as like our feelings or dreams or goals, or you know, and then um five minutes of engaging in like physical affection, like hugs, holding hands, just you know, touching, being each other in each other's space. Um and so there, and then you can also take it another um extension of it is whatever you're talking about, um, if it's like conflict related, is will this matter in five minutes? Will it matter in five days? And will it matter in five years?

SPEAKER_00 30:13

That is great.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

And I was like, whoa, I need to, and I you know, I know this, right? Most of us know this. Like everyone's gonna be like, yeah, but how often do we use it?

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Probably not that often because it's right now, it's gonna matter forever. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm hot and bothered about it.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

But instead of taking a step back, what do you say? You hit the pause button.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

Yeah, let's pause. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Breathe.

SPEAKER_03 30:43

Because it's so true. Like, and I I was just thinking about some things that we've been talking about over the last couple days, and I was like, I really needed to apply this to what we were talking about because I'm sitting here going, uh, no, no is the answer to all these. Will it matter in five minutes? No. Will it matter in five days? No. Will it matter in five years? No. So it's just a really good um rule of thumb.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

Those are really good, really good uh techniques or tidbits or nuggets for newlyweds and people in their second act, and that that's just great for couples, period. It is um to do both of those.

SPEAKER_03 31:24

So, you know, and one of the things I was gonna say when you were talking about like doing like um, you know, how well like we don't go get away and stuff like that. I think it is really important for couples to do like um marriage retreats. And we've never done one.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 31:47

And I would really love to do one.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Wasn't there a movie about wedding marriage retreats or something? Yes, but that yeah. Not like that. Not like that one.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

Okay. Um but I um I just think that would be like if if you need to do like, you know, seven, like once every seven days have a date, once every seven weeks have a night away, once every seven months, you know, go on a vacation. Well, maybe a marriage retreat falls in there somewhere too, like doing that. Like if your church has one or just anywhere, like cities have them where the people come in and just do a weekend marriage retreat or one or two-day marriage retreat. I think that is another way to really um invest in one another and invest in your marriage. Because sometimes even if there's nothing going wrong, like I don't, I don't want to go to one because I'm like, oh, we really need to repair this marriage. I just how about like preventative? Yeah. Preventative instead of preventative. Yeah, instead of like when it's in the moment of like, oh, we need restoration. Like, can we just do some preventative work?

SPEAKER_00 33:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:05

So that's what I want to talk about today.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

I love it. Well, it's been a great podcast. Very insightful, Gina. The 77777 rule and the 5555 rule. Those are those are fabulous.

SPEAKER_03 33:19

And you guys coordinating your schedule so that you never all leave me at the same time again.

SPEAKER_00 33:23

Right. We never want to do that ever again. I will promise you I won't leave for 10 days. How about that? Unless you're coming with me.

SPEAKER_03 33:31

Yes, unless I'm coming with you.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

Perfect. Perfect, perfect. Well, that's all we got time for today, then, huh?

SPEAKER_03 33:36

It is, it is.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Well, thank you guys to for listening to the Feathered and Grace and Armor podcast with little Miss Gina and myself. And want to let you know that we've got a podcast coming up. Our next episode is going to be with Angie and Eric. Blended, blessed, and always a mess.

SPEAKER_02 33:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

They are fabulous, they've got their own podcast, and they're just uh really a bundle of joy, and I can't wait to talk to them. So stay tuned for that one. And uh, we will. Oh, Gina saying five stars. Remind him one more time. Can you give us a five-star, please? Just give us a five-star review.

SPEAKER_03 34:08

That's how you pay us.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

That's how we make our pennies.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

Yes, if you could leave us a five-star review on Spotify, that would be great. Check us out on socials. We'd love to hear from you. If you need prayer, let us know because we would love to pray for you. Yes. That's all we got time for. Love you guys, and we'll see you on the next Feathered and Grace and Armor podcast. Thanks so much for spending time with us today on this episode of Feathered and Grace and Armor. We hope today's conversation encouraged you, challenged you, and gave you something meaningful to carry into your own relationships. If this episode spoke to you, please take a moment to leave us a five-star review on Spotify, share it with someone you care about, and join the conversation with us on social media. If you're walking through a difficult season and need prayer, guidance, support, know that you're not alone. We are here for you. This podcast was produced at the Clubhouse Studios, Tampa, Florida. No rebroadcast or reproduction is permitted without express written permission of the founders of Feathered and Grace and Armor. Until next time, stay grounded in grace, walk with courage, and remember you're never too late for a powerful second act.