Episode 43 Feathered In Grace & Armor: Life on The Compound! Boundaries, Grands & Learning to Breathe

On this episode of Feathered In Grace & Armor, Gina and Chadd take you deep into the reality of Life on The Compound 😅

From learning boundaries and personal space… to navigating the beautiful chaos of grandchildren, family dynamics, and living closely together—it gets REAL in this one.

They dive into:
 🏡 The move itself and adjusting to a completely different way of life
 ❤️ The importance of legacy and living intentionally
 👶 The grandkids dynamic and balancing everyone’s roles
 🤝 Finding “your people” and building community in this season of life
 🎢 And the emotional rollercoaster that comes with all of it

This is one of our longer episodes because honestly… there was A LOT to unpack. So buckle up, settle in, and come hang out with us for some laughter, honesty, and real conversations about marriage, family, faith, and figuring it out as we go.

💬 Be sure to follow us on social media and leave us a review—it truly helps us grow and reach more people.

✨ And if you or someone you know is in need of coaching or counseling, Gina currently has 2 openings available.
Visit: GinaMichaelCoaching.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Feathered in Grace and Armor. I'm Gina.

SPEAKER_02 0:03

And I'm the Armor part of this podcast. I'm Chad.

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Together, we're here to explore the beautiful balance between grace and strength in our lives.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

In a world that often pushes us to choose sides, softness or toughness, vulnerability or resilience, we believe the true power lies in embracing both.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Each week we'll dive into heartfelt conversations, share inspiring stories, and discuss the lessons we've learned on our journeys of faith, love, and personal growth.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

So join us as we uncover how to walk through life gracefully, all while wearing the armor of God against the challenges we face.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Whether you're a man or a woman, our hope is that this podcast becomes a source of encouragement and wisdom for you.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

So let's spread our wings and forge ahead together on this adventure of life, love, and the pursuit of grace. That is right. Life, love, and the pursuit of grace.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Lots of grace.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Only God's grace is good enough for me. Good afternoon, good morning, good night. There are some people that listen to this right before they go to bed.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:09

They like to hear the sultry sounds of the Chadster.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Have they actually told you that?

SPEAKER_02 1:14

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Okay. I was like, wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Anybody listens to this before they go to bed, it's so they can listen to your voice, not mine.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

No, I I I thought you were gonna say so they can fall asleep.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

So they can get bored and fall asleep. That's probably right, but whatever. We're here at the we're here at the casita, the clubhouse studios, Tampa, Florida.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

But we have a new location.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

We have a new we're excited about this, you guys, because let me tell you, old Chad's had his uh office out in the garage. And it's it's been a little uh toasty at times.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

We had to move it in.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

We had to move it inside.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

We did not anticipate him needing the garage office, still at this point in our journey of compounding.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

We thought we were gonna have our castle built already.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

We thought it would be done. It is not. So it's getting very hot here in Florida.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

Quick update. They haven't even started.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Well, we touched our last episode about we have the plans. And so praise them. We're we're yeah, we're getting there.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

We're getting there.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

It's God's plan, not ours, Gina, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Yes, but for the love, but also, however, and or also all of those. All of those we we are we are forging ahead, and we are that's a little bit of what we're gonna talk about today in a roundabout way. But yes, another update is the plans are sealed, they've been submitted, we're starting septic and sewer. Um, the down payments have been made, and that sends Gina into her scramble a bit about uh am I safe, am I secure? Because one of those scrambles is about financial resources, and I'm watching that. She's watching the money dwindle down and getting fearful.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

I I get a little fearful, and um I gotta put her in her place and tell her that everything's gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Is it you putting me in my place or is it you supporting me?

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Oh gosh, okay. You it's me supporting you.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

I feel like those are two different things.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

I like putting you in your place better.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Just kidding. Gosh, I was supporting you.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

I was gonna say, like, hey, let's do a check-in. How are you feeling today, babe? And now goodness. I know.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

I feel great. No, it's me supporting you and let you know that listen, God's God's got this. You know, we hear it at the church, we hear it through people. God's got this. I know. God's never failed us, God's never let us down. He's always been with us every step of the way, at least for me in my 51 years.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

You're not wrong. You're not wrong.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

So so I am not worried about it. It's all gonna come together the way it should be.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

I'm so glad.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

So we've got a wonderful episode for you guys today.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

We do.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

It's exciting, it's uh it's jam-packed, it's kind of an emotional roller coaster of the starting over.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

It is. We've talked about in past episodes, we kind of really went into depth about like our move and and why we m chose to move to Florida and how that move went and all the moving parts that were associated with that move. And I just wanted to do, I don't know, a little update, a little check-in on where we are now because it's getting real, you know, about what it looks like to uproot our life and build something new and um do this family compound, and then also trying to find our people when everything is really unfamiliar because that has been a real challenge for us. And I just put out my Substack newsletter this week about your circles of influence, and it really made me think about how you know we yes, we still have our circles, but we don't have them physically here. And it it's it's been a challenge, and that's kind of where I'm sitting today. And I wanted to talk more about it and get a little deeper about it. Yeah, and we've also had ironically enough, how this happens. I guess it's not irony, it's right, it's it's impressions. But our daughter-in-law, Jess, said to me that this week she's had, you know, a handful of people ask her, like, hey, how's the family compounding go? And she said, it's kind of interesting how like why I don't know why people chose this week to ask, but excuse me, they have asked her, like, hey, how's that going? And I said, Well, that's really interesting because we've had a couple people when we've been together this week, when we've shared what we're doing, they've had comments. And then I my um hairstylist yesterday also made a comment about it. And so I was like, that's really interesting how we're getting people are talking about it from both sides. And so I think for us, the comments when we've shared what we're doing, everyone's like, oh my gosh, I would love that. That sounds amazing. And, you know, I'm always kind of, I don't know, not nervous, but I'm always um anticipatory about what someone's comment is going to be when we say that we're doing this, because I'm sure there are mixed emotions or mixed thoughts or perspectives, and not that those matter. I mean, we're gonna do what we want to do. However, I I still just find it, you know, fascinating and interesting because I'm curious about people and I and I just like to hear people's different opinions and perspectives, and I'm open to all of them, and I'm open to all the questions. I love the questions people ask. And you know, and of course, on this podcast, we've really prided ourselves on being um honest about our journey and the blending and all of it. So I think this is a great place to do that as well. So here we are, and I and I wanted to talk about that. I wanted to go a little bit deeper about it. I guess for me, uh a question that I want to ask you is Ooh, I get questions.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

Am I gonna get interviewed?

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Yeah, so I mean, we know the you know, we we had we have a vision for this compound and we're getting ready to break ground and do all of that. Right. As far as building and structure. But has what has you know what's been surprising to you about this or what's been more beautiful than you had anticipated about this?

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Um, surprising. Well, for me, I think it goes back to I mean, for me internally, it goes back to I mean, if we're gonna be real and honest and raw here.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

Yes, I might yes.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

I I'm gonna go back to um I'm gonna go back to my mom and my sister Ashley. Um, and how my sister still lives at home. Um, and how for a long time, many years, I you know, I had a lot of issues with that. And I just, you know, I see the pros and cons of it. Yes, you want your kids to get raised and do right and have work and be responsible and you know, but now at at 51, I'm sitting here like, yeah, you know what, live there as long as you can. As long as you're as long as your family compound is all the members in the compound, you know, helping to build the compound and giving towards the compound and and making sure that things are done. You know, the trash is taken out, the electric bill is paid, the yard is mowed, and all the different things. The compound for me, I I I love it. I I'll be honest, I didn't want to move over here, you know that. I had uh I had some pushback against it. Once we got over here, I started to realize that A, this isn't as bad as I thought it was. B, you know, this is the way it was truly intended. From the beginning, the family stays together, the sons of the daughters don't leave the home until they get married, you know, and you all you all are together. You know, we've literally over the last hundred years, we've gotten so far away from family and connection and communication that uh this little compound is has been really the light of my life so far. It's it's uh it's fun to watch these three little granddaughters grow up and walk and talk and be funny and giggle and play. And it's been it's been fun to get to know Jess and get to know Drew more um and get to talk with them and have a relationship with them to the point now to where I'm you know getting ready to start a garden. You know, we wanna we wanna grow some vegetables on the family compound. Yes. So I I like it. I I wish everybody could do it. I think everybody should do it if they can, because family is the most important thing in this life.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

That's all really great. That was way more than I thought you were gonna say. So that's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

I want to go back though to to the point about you said you didn't want to move over here because what I want to say is when we moved over here, you did want to.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Yeah, when we finally yeah, when we when we made the decision to Okay, because I didn't want our listeners to think, oh my gosh, you moved over there and he didn't want to because at first it was like, oh my gosh, never mind.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Well, neither one of us, like when they first presented it. I mean, we had jokingly all talked about it for a while, and then they presented it. We were like, No, and then we started looking at houses.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

I was like, you know, 45 minutes isn't that you know, it's like my dad being away from Fort Wayne or me, you know. My mom was in Kendaville, so it was a 30, 45 minute drive, and I was like, there's nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Which you always complained about when we lived in Indiana, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

But then it was you coming over here three or four times a week, and I was like, Well, why don't we just move over here and let's go find somewhere close? And then it was, oh, we're gonna we're gonna live in the outbuilding on the family compound. I was like, Oh, hell no. I do not want to live in some barn. But then we got over here and I'm like, you know, this isn't bad. You this the this little 900 square feet, 800, whatever it is, it's taught us you know what you truly need and don't need in your life.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

Right, right, which we've talked at length about. Yes, absolutely. You are correct. So, okay, so it's been way better than you expected. And what's been harder than you expected?

SPEAKER_02 11:57

What has been harder than I expected? Gosh, I I don't starting my garden, you know. Obviously, the the getting the the new edition built, that's been hard. That's been a I I didn't think it was gonna take so long, but from anything else, I I love it. I'm close to church. Um, you know, I'm starting to get some some income coming in with real estate agents and uh some other some other different avenues, uh website building and whatnot. But you know, so far it's been it's been smooth sailing as I knock on the desk.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Okay, so I'm now I'm gonna answer these questions like what has been more beautiful than I expected. And for me, it's watching you have this relationship with our son. That has been probably the most beautiful thing that I didn't know would come out of it.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

Really?

SPEAKER_00 12:55

Yes. Because I already knew like both my son and daughter have embraced you with open arms and open heart from the beginning. However, I you know, I don't know that you had like a this deep of a connection, obviously, because we didn't live here and you were in and out a lot when I would be here for like months on end. I have just loved watching you guys bond and you guys having your own conversations that don't include me, that don't include Jess, and the times that you've been spending together and doing projects together around the compound because no fault to my son, but he didn't really learn how to do projects growing up because he was always on the baseball field. He he grew up on the baseball field, it's plain and simple. There were no summers, there was no, there wasn't a lot of free time, there wasn't time for him to to follow his dad around and do any of that. We we were constantly traveling. Yeah, you know, and I know that was something that kind of bothered him now as a husband, as a dad, as an owner of a property and all that comes with that, right?

SPEAKER_03 14:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

I've that's really just been the unexpected, beautiful part of this that that I didn't expect. I guess the the hardest part that I hadn't expected was that I think it's and this kind of goes into like kind of the next thing I was gonna talk about was like boundaries in space. Because, you know, I'm really big on boundaries, and I think we're really good at setting boundaries and saying, you know, Papa and GG need a day or Papa and GG need a night or whatever. And we are good. And I know when we first got here, you were like, Oh my gosh, like I I think that was difficult for you, but you can correct me if I'm wrong. And I would often say, Yes, but it's just a blip. Like they're not always gonna want to be in our space, they're not always gonna want this. We need to embrace this moment in time. We know this from raising kids. Oh, right.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in a blip, it's gonna be over.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

But on the other part of that, I think what's been harder than expected is yes, us separating our time and doing that for ourselves as more than which I think we're good at it, but I think we could be better because we just they pull us, you know, they just they pull us there.

SPEAKER_03 15:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

And, you know, I'm always saying to you, like, oh my gosh, you're papa in so hard today.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Popping so hard. Because he will play with those girls, run around in circles, run around, jump up and down.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Yes, and we're always like, Papa, you don't have to like go that hard. And you always say, I gotta match their energy, I gotta match their energy. Aren't they having fun? They're having fun, and you're not wrong.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

It's all fun until Kaya gets popped in the face with a football.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Or Ava thinks you're gonna drop her on her head. So, yes. So, anyway, it's yeah, so those are the things that that's the thing that that I didn't expect that's really beautiful, and that's something that's been harder than what I expected. And then for I know Jess, she gets this question, which we we are going to have them on here with us at some point so the four of us can really talk about, you know, yeah, the down and dirty.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Um, but a lot of people will ask her, or they will make And by down and dirty, she means like the weeds that we gotta pull, the trees we gotta cut down, the crap ginger around trees that Drew and I have been working on for 14 weeks. Yeah, 14 weeks, you're not wrong. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Oh but people will ask Jess all the time, what like when she'll say, like, yeah, my mother-in-law and my father-in-law live on our property, and they're like, What? And they're like, How's that? Because most everybody says to her, I could never have my mother-in-law live on the property with me. I think that's a beautiful thing right there, is that we do have that relationship with her, and uh I'm it's it's a blessing. I'm just I'm so blessed. We're blessed to have that.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

And it's a and it's a choice. I mean, it we we choose to have that relationship with that.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Yeah, you have to be intentional, right? Like I've always been intentional. I never wanted to be that kind of mother-in-law where I didn't love and accept our kids' spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever, because I mean that's that's just an intentional.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

Especially as you get older. I just I I can't, you know, I would never live with my stepdad or my stepmom or whatever. That's just I guess that kind of hopefully like sets the stage for I guess I should go back and fix that statement. But about somebody saying that they couldn't live with their stepmom or stepdad. I could live with both of my stepmom and stepdad. My step my stepparents are awesome. So yeah, just want to clarify that.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Yeah, yeah. So I guess w what does a real day on the compound actually look like?

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Oh, well, um you want to address that. I mean, a real day on the compound, you know, w fortunately for you and I, we're able to work from home. Drew's able to work from home and and Jess is able to work from home. Uh Drew leaves sometimes because he's got he's got uh offices that he has to visit.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

We all leave sometimes. We all go off compound for our work.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Yeah, I mean, so the the day in the life of the compound, it's not like we're out here tilling the ground and caring for the cows and all that sort of stuff. No, but that'd be awesome. But we are but we are getting ready to start a garden and we've got a we've got you know trees that have to be trimmed back and dead leaves, and you know, there is there are a lot of things to take care of. And um, you know, we it sometimes we get to go up to what we call the big house, the big part of the compound, that their house where they live, and where the three girls are. So we go up there and play and we'll have dinner and kind of just help them possibly get, you know, all three girls in showers.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

Through dinner, bath time and ready for all that good stuff.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

And you know, then we'll walk back here and yeah, take our showers and go to bed. I mean, it's but uh you know that it it that's uh that's about it. And then on the weekends, you know, we on the weekends we're out, you know, playing and throwing footballs and you know, trimming trees and you know, just taking care of the property.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Yeah. Yeah, I mean you're you're right. I mean, we're all working, we're all kind of on and off the compound. Um, because uh I see clients, you know, in person off the compound, and then I see a lot of clients virtually. So I have you know the ability to be here and there, and same for you, same for Drew, and same for Jess. Like we're all, you know, we just kind of all kind of tag team and try to help each other out. And then Jess's mom lives 10 minutes away, so she's able to come and help out. And just David and Denise are right down the road live, you know, 20 minutes away, and her brother and sister-in-law. So it's it's really a it's a family thing, and and so our day-to-day is, you know, we do get to see the girls every day, just about um, it's kind of there are days when we don't, and it's really rare that we might not see them. We do, and it's amazing. And the best part is when those girls they're still, I mean, we've been here since November of 2025, and these girls are still we're still the the shiny new penny that they found on the ground.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

They're banging on the windows back there trying to get our attention if we're outside.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

But they they always want to see us, they always want us to come play, or they want to come back here. They think it's cool to come back here and hang with us in this little space. It's just, you know, that's kind of what our days look like. And and as you alluded, our weekends, you know, we like a couple weekends ago, we took a day and went to the beach by ourselves and had our time. And just last weekend, it well, it rained here in the afternoon. We spent a little time with them in the morning, and then it's it and then the rest of the day we were back here and all night, just the two of us. We just needed that time. And so that's kind of what a day in the life looks like. Um it's it's pretty amazing. Um, so I want to kind of talk about though, there is a I don't know, emotional roller coaster part of this about starting over for you and I. And I feel like we're we're really sitting in that right now. At least I am. Yeah. Where, you know, there is an element of loneliness, of relocating that I think, you know, people do warn you about. I've heard people say, like, and I I've heard people that's the reason they don't move at this point in their life, because it is very

SPEAKER_03 22:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Challenging to find your people after 40. Yeah. You know, it's different. And and then, you know, the positive that is we have family, right? That's that's where, you know, we're here. Obviously, we have built-in like connections and community with this family. And Jess's family has taken all of us in, and they're amazing, and we all love and care for each other. However, it's you need friends. And even my son, who has been here, our son Drew has been here for a while because he went to college here. Yep. And he still doesn't feel like he has his people. And he made a comment to me the other day, and I thought, gosh, this is so true. Where he was saying, you know, he'll be in social settings. And everybody's very surface. And I think because, you know, it is it is difficult to be vulnerable in a new place where you don't know people. You didn't grow up there. You don't have those connections. And I think sometimes it's difficult to be really vulnerable. You know, for for example, like for them, they're in the thick of raising kids, and you know, that's a whole set of things. And it's difficult. And sometimes I think people don't say, wow, it's really hard. You know, instead it's like, oh, everything's good, everything's fine, our kids are good, everybody's good. And I'm like, it's okay to say, gosh, this stage of our life is hard. Yeah. And it's not okay. And I feel like that's like, yes, we have our kids, but I'm, you know, I'm really struggling with that too. I feel like I've I've made connections. Obviously, I have clients now that I'm seeing here in the state, and that's a connection, but it's a professional connection. Not that I don't adore, you know, and have real genuine feelings of, you know, with my clients, but that's it's still a professional, it's a professional relationship.

SPEAKER_03 24:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

And then, you know, we've both gotten involved in church and you've been doing men's group and I've been doing women's group. And yes, and I'm I'm making connections and we're trying. It's still not, you know, it's still not.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

It's still not your turtle tribe. It's still not my turtle tribe. It's not my it's not my boys.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

It's not my, you know, uh our we've got we have other circles too. It's not it's not all our circles.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

And so But what I will say, uh, and I will cut you off.

unknown 24:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

And you'll have to forgive me later. But what I will say about the getting connected at church and the men's group on Tuesday night and meeting the you know, those guys and having, you know, connection with them and communication with them and and learning more about them. And then even the serving, you know, I've I've been on two different serving things now where I've I've actually hung out with Rick and Luis, who are probably 15, maybe 20 years older than me. Um, but uh just getting to hang around those guys and meeting some new people at New Life Warehouse has been really cool. So I hope to continue to nurture those uh nurture those relationships and continue to to serve in that capacity because it's neat to it's neat to hang out with those those type of people for me.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Yeah. You you've been serving a lot. You have been serving other people in our community through church, but you've been and you've also been serving us here as a family, which I tell you every weekend. Because you're always doing a project for the compound. You're always trying to make this place better. So you do a lot of serving.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

So yes, we are making connections, but I just they're not as deep as what we've had before. And so it it is difficult. And you need that beside your family. You do need that. And so we're still working on that. Have you ever thought, did we make a mistake?

SPEAKER_02 26:12

No, not yet.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

Not yet.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

And I probably won't think that we made a mistake by moving here. I think this is one of the best decisions we've probably ever made.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

I didn't know you were gonna say that.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

Yeah, well, I didn't tell you beforehand, nor did I know this was gonna be our topic of discussion today. So this is all real and raw, people, just so you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

Wow, okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

That's yeah, no, this is this has been one of the best decisions I think we've made. Yeah, does it suck in in the in the muck right now, or you know, over the last but hanging out with the kids and the grandkids and meeting other people that that's made it, that's made it, that's made it good for me. Even not having constant work or more, you know, not having more clients or more income. Like again, I haven't been scared. I haven't, you know, I know that everything's gonna work its way out for the glory of God. And that's where I've I've put my faith, I've put my focus. Yes, I'm a sinner. I get down to I I think about, oh, we're running out of money. But I then I remember, man, Chad, God's been with you every step of the way. He's never let you suffer. And honestly, he's really never let me struggle. My struggles are minute compared to other people's struggles.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

Yeah. I mean, I think I think you have struggled. I know what you're I know what you're saying, but I think that there is purpose and beauty in the struggle, right? That's of course. That's yeah, that's part of the plan. So it because that makes you be more faithful, it makes you surrender, it makes you trust. So, okay, well, I'm glad. I'm glad that you said you didn't think we made a mistake. Yeah, no. That's awesome. Who do you think is adjusted more easily and why?

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Ooh, no, that's a good that's a good uh that's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 28:01

I know because I think most people would say, oh, it's probably Gina.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Probably, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

But I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

That's a that's I I don't even know if it's one over the other. I think we're kind of in the same in the same place, like with the adjustment. Would you agree?

SPEAKER_02 28:24

Yeah, probably.

SPEAKER_00 28:25

Yeah. I think there was a time when maybe you were at first you were having a harder time with the adjustment. And now I think we've it's balanced out.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Is there anything that you really miss?

SPEAKER_02 28:43

Um you know, j just the probably the closeness of my reality up there, closeness to um, you know, I obviously closeness to my three kids and Lakeland. Yes. That's probably the biggest. Um right after that would be, you know, the familiarity of you know 30 years of life, yeah. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

Yeah. And I think there that's like a difference for us because you know, I moved from Indianapolis to Fort Wayne and was in Fort Wayne for a couple years. Yeah. I mean, four, four years. Okay. And so that I had already kind of, even though I could, you know, I could drive to Indianapolis two and a half hours away, but I had already been able to grieve like that part. So, and for me, like, so I didn't really have to grieve, like, I didn't say, oh, I I, you know, what I missed would be going back to Indianapolis, but not necessarily being like where you were with like your network and and all of that. Right. So that's a little different for us. I had had already had my time to kind of do that, and you didn't when we came here. Um do you feel like there's any like unspoken pressure about living here on the compound? And then there was a silence. Pressure of living on the compound. Maybe like not pressure, but expectation, maybe. Is that a better word?

SPEAKER_02 30:24

Not yet. I mean, we'll see if I start slacking off and I don't, you know, live up to my end of the bargain and start drinking beers every day at two o'clock and sit in the garage and smoke a stogie.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

But no, I don't know. Not not yet.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

I guess for me, I I feel like sometimes, and so I I always feel like an unspoken pressure over myself, but it's it's not one that anybody puts on me. It's one I put on myself. I always feel like I need to be helping, I need to be doing, yes, you do.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

To a fault and everything.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

Yes. And so I've tried to get better about that. Um, but that's just something that I've struggled with my whole life. And so yeah, sometimes I do. Sometimes I feel like because I'm here, I need to just do it. Where if we lived 45 minutes away, I couldn't, you know, it's like, well, the day I'm here, I can do, I can help, but I can't, you know, help this other day. So sometimes I do struggle with that. Um so I think the other part for me is um like employment, um kind of our our identity here, kind of like the reinvention because we don't have our network here. And so trying to build a book of business, as you say, I think has been challenging for you and still is. We're still in that space. You're still, you're still trying to do that. And so that's, you know, been something that I think we're that's where we're at right now. And for me, especially because of now we're starting to really spend our our money that, you know, because we're which we had allotted for this compound, but it goes, you know, just goes back to am I safe, am I secure? And that's part of it. And so when we don't have coming in what, you know, what I think we should have coming in, it definitely um it's it's difficult for me. And that's kind of where I'm at right now. And I think a lot of times our I don't know, our identity is kind of tied into things from our past like that, where you know, you've had you had this network, and you were able to really connect with people there and get more connections based on that network and connections. And here you don't have that.

SPEAKER_03 33:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

So it's like you're starting from zero. And so that's been definitely a challenge. And same, same for me too, right?

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Yeah, no, and it's just you know, you talk about rebuilding, and it's you know, that it that first step for me was is getting out there and serving with the church and meeting people. You know, the second part of it is I, you know, I do, I want to go sing again and being able to sing at different restaurants or whatever and meet people, you know, do charity events.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Yeah, so we we have to put ourselves out there way more than if we were back in Indiana, right? It's a lot easier. 100%. So you have to be a lot more vulnerable and you have to, you know, be a lot more courageous, and you have to be, you know, kind of like have a tough skin for rejection too, because not everybody is gonna like embrace you because they don't know us.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

Yeah, I've already had my first big rejection.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

Yeah. So yeah. Do you want to talk more about that?

SPEAKER_02 34:26

No, no, no. Did did we didn't we mention it last time or have we mentioned the the uh the boat dealership? I was all jazzed up. I I I like took my resume down there and I thought really good about it. I was like, they were like, oh, we don't have people just bringing their resumes, we just fill out LinkedIn. I'm like, oh yeah, man, I'm old school. Let's go hire me right now. And then like a couple days later, he's like you're old.

SPEAKER_00 34:55

That is not what they said. You projected that. I know, yes, I know, but yeah, I yes, yes, I know. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

Yeah, you gotta go through the no's to get to the yeses.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

You do, and and so it's you know, and it we have to support each other through this, and you know, through this financial and emotional like uncertainty. Um, and we're definitely on opposite ends of the spectrum because you're like, oh, it's gonna be okay, God's gonna take care of us. And I know that in my heart, but like my brain says, yes, but we also have to do our part and we have to be diligent and you know, yes, for sure, financially responsible. And because that's what God tells you to be financially responsible. And so all those things. So yeah, we you know, we have to work on keeping each other balanced for sure. Okay, the last thing I kind of want to talk about with this compound living, this whole uh this whole thing about legacy.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

Ooh, legacy.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

So you know, that is that to me is like the crux of what we're doing. And I guess the question is like, what does it mean to be a daily presence in our granddaughters' lives during this season?

SPEAKER_02 36:23

Yeah. So legacy is not just about money or property, no, but it could be about the intangible impact that you have on.

SPEAKER_00 36:35

And that's my lovely grandkids right there. You're speaking it.

SPEAKER_02 36:39

Ancestors.

SPEAKER_00 36:40

Yeah, it's the it's the quality time that I am getting with them.

SPEAKER_03 36:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

And I think that's what it is for me. It's that's what it that's what it means to me, is I get to take part in their life almost every day. Yeah. And it's such a gift, and I don't take that for granted. And I know how important it is, and I don't, and I, and I don't take the responsibility lightly. It's a huge responsibility. And I think it's so different because before when they would just come visit, or you know, we'd come, we'd come over here and visit, or if they would come do a sleepover, you know, it's you're you've set that time aside. You know, it's just for that. And it still is like that. However, on a day-to-day basis, you're living life and you're doing all the things. And so they get to see us doing that. And so it's, I think, valuable for them to see how we lead ourselves in the manner that we do when we're doing all of these things. Like, how do we lead ourselves when we're working? How do we lead ourselves when we're working together on the compound on a project, when things don't work out, when things get tough. You know, we're we're doing, we're really doing life together, not just moments together. And that's the part where I'm like, what I I don't take that responsibility lightly. I want them to see me handle myself in a manner that is going to be really impactful and helpful for them, especially as as girls. Um, and I don't think my role is any um higher than yours as a man. In fact, I think I think yours and Drew's for the girls is probably higher than Jess and I. Yeah. Um because they need to see these men and how you treat them and how you treat Jess and I and um I and just how you're leading your lives. I think it's so important. Um so I think it's not always like what we say to them, but it's just them watching us navigate everything.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

You know, oh yeah, because they take it all in.

SPEAKER_00 39:10

They take it all in. And so I guess that leads me to like, what do you hope they say about this chapter? When they're grown, because I've thought about this. When when they're grown, what do you want them to say about this? Like, imagine they're sitting around the table with their friends and they're like in their 20s, and they say, Well, we lived on a family compound with our grandparents.

SPEAKER_02 39:37

Yeah, and it was fun. They taught us a lot.

SPEAKER_00 39:40

You want them to say it was fun, you know?

SPEAKER_02 39:42

Because I'm a mammal about the fun.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

Wraps it up for you.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

Well, thanks for listening on this episode.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

Uh oh my gosh, it's it's no, no, it's perfect.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

It's perfect because it is. You are the fun. You are the fun. You bring I man, he brings the fun with these girls.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

I bring the fun stuff. You really do. Pulled a hamstring and a back shoulder blade out of place yesterday.

SPEAKER_00 40:07

You really do. You do bring the fun. Okay, that's awesome. That's all you have to say. You hope, yes.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

Yeah, no, no, no. I I hope they say it was fun and that that that they taught us a lot, you know. I mean, they're they're foreign too. Like we we we still have so much to I gotta teach them how to saw, I gotta teach them how to cut, to plant garden. Yes, you know, to you know, to all that stuff.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

They love hanging out with you in the garage. Well, yeah. You know what else you have to teach them how to do? What's that? Sing. Sing and DJ.

SPEAKER_02 40:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 40:36

Yeah. That's you gotta teach them that too. Yeah, I think for me, what I hope they say in the this you'll you'll be like, yeah, man, that's true. Um, I hope that they they see the beauty and how we have all served one another and that they felt safe and loved and cared for in a way that is just unexplainable. And I think I also hope that we're living out our faith for them in a way that will keep them connected to their faith. Those are the important things for me. And obviously, you don't have to live on a family compound to do those things. So I don't want anybody to mistake that.

unknown 41:31

Nope.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

However, you do need to be intentional. You do need to be intentional, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 41:38

Um what else you got, Gina? Well, this has been a jam-packed show.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

It really, it really has. I, you know, it's interesting. I had a conversation yesterday, because I was gonna ask the question like, what's one thing that you're grateful for in this season, even on our hard days? Because you know, we are, we're we're having hard days. And I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about like what it shows you when you are having those hard days with people that you're doing life with. And I think this is a great question. Like, what are you grateful for? Like, what do you see out of it? And I think for me, I'm I'm always grateful because you are so like optimistic all the time. And sometimes it's annoying, like it's annoyingly optimistic.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

Wow, annoyingly optimistic.

SPEAKER_00 42:43

In a very, and I say that in the most like genuine complimentary way.

SPEAKER_02 42:48

I think it's one of my God-given talents.

SPEAKER_00 42:51

I I think it is, but it's it's annoyingly so for me, because I feel like I'm a very positive person. However, I think sometimes I'm like, okay, but this is the reality. This is the reality. And I'm like, he's not looking at the reality. And then I'm like, mmm, but he has a lot of faith. And I'm like, hmm, maybe my faith needs to be better. Maybe my trust needs to be better, my surrender. And so that's the way I look at it. Yeah. So I think that I'm I'm grateful, like that we have that balance, and I'm learning that our balance is is like our it's it's one of our superpowers. You know, because if we were exactly the same, uh that would be not good at all. No, at all. So I think that it's just learning the balance and appreciating the balance and embracing the balance. Balance and leaning into the balance and not looking at it from like oh my gosh, he's so optimistic. And but I'm looking at reality. It's like, oh good, we have optimism and reality. Let's put those together because then we're gonna be stronger for that. Because we need both. We need both. So that's one thing that I'm grateful for during these hard days. Okay. What are you grateful for?

SPEAKER_02 44:25

I'm just grateful for for family that that our family is is uh for the most part healthy.

SPEAKER_00 44:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:32

Um, just that we're all we're all healthy and just kind of making our way in the world today. Takes everything you got. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 44:42

So if we had all the worries, a word, one word to any of our listeners who might be like in the middle of a big life transition, maybe, maybe feel like unseen or a little like uncertain about where they are in their life right now. Cause I mean, we still there's a lot of uncertainty right now for us. Oh, there's a lot of uncertainty. Like there's uncertainty about this whole thing we're doing, this compounding, there's uncertainty about our jobs, there's uncertainty, you know, finances, making connections. Like we have a lot of uncertainty in our life right now. And so if there's one word, what would that be for you to give the people?

SPEAKER_02 45:33

Faith. Have a little faith. Because all that stuff you just talked about right now, I don't even that doesn't even that isn't even phase you. Doesn't even phase me.

SPEAKER_00 45:43

It doesn't.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

It really doesn't, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 45:46

People, it's annoying.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

So so yeah, faith.

SPEAKER_01 45:52

Because I think part of it is like, do you feel?

SPEAKER_02 45:56

I do feel. I do feel, and I just I just know where God is God has put me and God has brought me out of every scenario.

SPEAKER_00 46:04

He has.

SPEAKER_02 46:05

So He has.

SPEAKER_00 46:06

I know. Yeah. I think.

SPEAKER_02 46:10

What's your one word, Gina?

SPEAKER_00 46:12

Gosh, my my one word is I can't wait to hear this. Well, it always goes back to this. It goes back to your identity. It really does. And being rooted in your identity.

SPEAKER_02 46:31

Well, I'll be damned then. I must be pretty rooted in some good soil. Because we need to get a bag of fertilizer for you.

SPEAKER_00 46:42

Wow. No, I can't, I don't want any like, you know, pesticides or it's gotta be all natural. Well, I got some worm castings for you then. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. No, I I think it just means for me, like letting people know, like when you do, when you are rooted in your identity, then those big life transitions or when you feel unseen or uncertain, like it that negates it because you you know who you are. And that is one thing I will say. Like, I I do know who I am. Um, and so it always takes me back there when I'm, you know, having those hard days. I'm like, but you know, you know who you are, and you're gonna get through this. And yeah, like I always used to say, you know, beautiful girl, you can do hard things. And by golly, I have and will continue to. So that's that's my inspiration to all of you. Like you, you can do this, you will get through these moments, but we we're meant to have them. There's growth out of them. Um, we need to have um some struggle and some hard days, and that's what makes us appreciate the moments that um that are beautiful, and there's beauty born out of those. So that would be my word to our listeners. Um you know, shameless plug, but if you need a coachiname coaching.com. We know a coach. Because I need to expand my business. I want to expand my business, and I have been, um, and I know that that's part of my identity, like that's what I'm here for. I am here to walk alongside women who need the support.

SPEAKER_02 48:26

And speaking of women that need support, men, you're probably listening to this because it came out the Friday before Mother's Day, so it's Mother's Day. And this episode is brought to you by uh Buy Your Mom Some Flowers. No, get her some candy. No. No, get her some diamonds. No, just give her a hug. Ow. Just call her. Just make the phone call. I guess I'm talking to myself. Here, make the phone call. Tell your mom that you love her, take her out to dinner, take her out to lunch, whatever. Just spend some quality time.

SPEAKER_00 49:03

How about you ask her what she would like to do?

SPEAKER_02 49:06

Well, my mom is in Indiana, so she's probably hanging out with grandkids.

SPEAKER_00 49:10

Yes, of course, of course. But yes.

SPEAKER_02 49:12

Ask, ask the moms of the household what they would like to do.

SPEAKER_00 49:16

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

And um, and have a great Mother's Day weekend. Love on them. Tell them how much you love them, and wouldn't be where you are without them.

SPEAKER_00 49:28

And it doesn't even have to be the mother who birthed you. There's a lot of moms out there who didn't give birth to someone. Bonus mom. Well, yeah, but just even that, just someone who's been a lady, a good role model, a woman that's been an amazing role model in your life. She mothered you.

SPEAKER_02 49:46

Correct. I love it. Well, that's all we got time for. Thank you guys for listening. Be sure to leave us that five-star review. It helps us to push this message out to more people. Um, and that's really that's really what we want is we want to touch and impact more lives. Thanks for listening to the Feathered and Grace and Armor podcast with me and my beautiful wife Gina. We'll see you on the next episode.