Episode 44 Feathered In Grace & Armor: Pray & Release

👉 Praying about something… and then actually leaving it in God’s hands.

Together, they explore the tension between surrender and control, why we so often “take it back,” and the emotional weight of carrying burdens we were never meant to hold alone. Through personal stories, vulnerable moments, and practical tools, they talk about fear, timelines, relationships, parenting, and the exhausting cycle of trying to fix everything ourselves.

This episode is for anyone who has ever:
 🙏 Prayed for peace
 😔 Still laid awake worrying
 🛑 Tried to release something… only to pick it right back up again

From “take-back triggers” to learning how to truly surrender, this conversation is raw, relatable, and full of encouragement for couples and individuals alike.

✨ Releasing isn’t giving up. It’s trusting Someone bigger.

💬 Be sure to follow, leave a review, and share this episode with someone carrying a burden they were never meant to carry alone.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Welcome to Feathered in Grace and Armor. I'm Gina.

SPEAKER_00 0:04

And I'm the Armor part of this podcast. I'm Chad.

SPEAKER_03 0:07

Together, we're here to explore the beautiful balance between grace and strength in our lives.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

In a world that often pushes us to choose sides, softness or toughness, vulnerability or resilience, we believe the true power lies in embracing both.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

Each week we'll dive into heartfelt conversations, share inspiring stories, and discuss the lessons we've learned on our journeys of faith, love, and personal growth.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

So join us as we uncover how to walk through life gracefully, all while wearing the armor of God against the challenges we face.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

Whether you're a man or a woman, our hope is that this podcast becomes a source of encouragement and wisdom for you.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

So let's spread our wings and forge ahead together on this adventure of life, love, and the pursuit of grace. Well, hey, thank you for clicking play on this episode of Feather and Grace and Armor. I'm Chad.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

And I'm Gina.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

And we're back to Clubhouse Studios, Tampa, Florida. I'm not sure if we sound loud, or I just feel like I sound loud in my earphones. So hopefully we're not blaring somebody out in their car or their workout space or wherever you might be listening to this episode. Hey, good morning, good afternoon. We are excited to bring you another episode today. Um, it's been a few days. It's been a few days.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Yeah, that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

But here we are.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

We're here.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Trying to be consistent and persistent with an honest and integral tone today. As my wife showed me the underlying notes.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

She didn't want to, she didn't want me to come out of the gate too crazy, too wild.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

I know. You wanted to, and I love that you always bring the fun. However, I feel like this is an episode that is really purposeful, intentional, and serious.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Yeah, it really is. And and just so you know, for the record, let the record show I wasn't gonna come out with any craziness. I was just gonna talk.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

Yeah, you did great. I'm very proud of you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

I am well this episode we're gonna be talking about praying and releasing and the art of letting go and actually how to leave it there. Yes. And it's uh I feel I can already feel the heat, like it's 105 degrees in here. It's gonna get really deep. The conversation's gonna go super deep and it's gonna, yeah, hopefully it's not too heavy.

unknown 2:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Hopefully I can keep up with you.

SPEAKER_03 2:34

Oh my gosh. You're gonna be able to keep up with me. All right. I hope it's a it's heavy in a way that is impactful, heavy, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like we sometimes we have to go deep and we have to get heavy so that we can grow.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Well, when you talked about it the other day, it was like, you know, a light bulb went off, and you're like, oh yeah, that that makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

Yeah, we had spoke previously in a couple of episodes back about carrying burdens that don't belong to you, and how I'd kind of had this moment where I felt like God was saying, Hey, stop picking up burdens that don't belong to you, and then you'll put them down, but then you go back to them. And I was trying to really work on that, but I feel like I'm gonna be honest, I just I feel like I was failing. I I don't feel like I was doing a good job of that. And so I guess, you know, the question that I have is have you ever prayed about something, felt peace about it, and then found yourself lying awake at 2 a.m. trying to figure out how to fix it anyway.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Well, I'm sure you have been awake at 2 a.m. Yes. Trying to fix um said said question.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

You're not wrong. You're not wrong. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

So do you want to dive into a little bit more of that?

SPEAKER_03 4:02

Yeah, and I think we also should mention that this episode is not about having it figured out. It's just about being honest about the struggle, like together. And I just I want to share this topic because it feels personal and it's timely because I feel like I'm I'm I'm right here. This is where I am right now. And I do feel like as I talk to people and I talk to clients, I feel like a lot of us are in this space. And so that's why I really wanted to present this topic to our listeners. Because typically when I find that I'm hearing this from clients, I feel like it's it goes right, the reach goes even further.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Yeah, and I think it's I I think it's great for both of us to pray and release it with a lot of the things that we're going through, a lot of the newfound nuances or some of the stuff that you know we still have to deal with with kids and stuff. The blending, right? And just giving it to God and and letting him deal with it.

SPEAKER_03 5:06

Right, right. Um, and and that's that's kind of why I guess I had said to you this morning that I didn't think you always understood how much it really bothers me and hurts me, and how much I struggle with the lack of a relationship that I desire with your three kids, even though I like to say our children, you know, and and but with my bonus children, how much that really hurts my heart. And I don't think I really have said that to you, and I even got very teary this morning and telling you that.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Not at all.

SPEAKER_03 5:58

And that's part of my pray and release moments that I've been having lately is towards that. And then I've had some big pray and release moments um in my life prior to you. I didn't realize that's what they were. I'm not sure I I did release them, but I didn't know at the time that I was actually releasing them. And I don't think it was an intentional, like, oh here, here you go, God. But now looking back on it, it was a release moment. So um I guess what we want to do is just kind of dive into this topic.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

So, what does surrendering something to God actually look like in practice versus what we were taught it to look like?

SPEAKER_03 6:44

Right. Because I think, you know, we can like we can give you the churchy cleaned up version, right? That everybody thinks, oh, I prayed about that and I released it to God. And so it's all good, and you know, I surrendered it. Um, but I think what what I was doing is I was praying to God and saying, please take this, I'm giving it to you. And then I would do the two 2 a.m. wake up and go, okay, um, what can I do now? How can I fix this? Um, I'm gonna send this text message, I'm going to make a phone call, I'm going to suggest this, I'm going to offer this. And realizing that that is not releasing it to God.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

You forgot to release it.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

And I can go into that, and it it's very difficult to actually really release.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Well, it's harder said than done.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

It is. And I feel like, you know, it's not a one-time event. I think that I have to continue to do it like daily, sometimes hourly, like it's a decision. I have to stop myself in mid like fix-it mode and say, no, no, no, no, no. You you gave that to God, remember? So don't go back and and grab that back from him and take it away.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

So why do you think people go back and pick it up? Why can't they just release it?

SPEAKER_03 8:25

Well, I think there's fear and control.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

You know what I love about that fear word, Gina?

SPEAKER_03 8:35

I know. And you told me this the other day.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

It's in the Bible 365 times.

SPEAKER_03 8:39

One for every day.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid. But yeah, I think we I think we pray about it. We might forget about it for a day, and then we, you know, it it comes right back to it. And you're right back into that old, it's like an old habit. And you you pray about it again. But then you no, I'm gonna release it, but then you do something else that goes right back to it. And uh it's very, very difficult.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

It is, and and I really I think this is a question I I guess I have for our listeners, like, so think about something that you have prayed about and you've released to God, but then when did you first realize that praying about something and releasing it were two different things? Or are you there yet?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

I was today years old, you know, just within the last couple of weeks. Yes, learning about this and really how to pray about it and release it. And, you know, I we I've prayed about a lot of things and I've tried to release a lot of things, but I always go back to okay, okay, God, nothing's happened yet. I'm gonna go try and do it my way again instead of being patient, putting my faith in God and letting him handle it.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

Right. Yeah. So I I think that's really good. And I think um, you know, I think we should share like a specific situation or a relationship or relationship or circumstance where we've struggled with this. So do you want to get Ooh, who goes first?

SPEAKER_00 10:19

Who goes first?

SPEAKER_03 10:20

It It doesn't matter. Go ahead, Gina.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

We're gonna let you go first.

SPEAKER_03 10:24

Well, I have I have two. So I have one that is, you know, prior to you, and that was when I was, you know, going through the death of my marriage, and I would pray to God and ask for, you know, guidance and answers and clarity, and then I would, so I'm like trying to release this to him, and then I would go back and go, well, now I'm gonna try this, and now I'm gonna do this, and now I'm gonna give this ultimatum, and I'm gonna give, you know, these things that I'm these requirements, right? And I would continue to do that, and then I'd go back and pray, and then I would scramble and go back and try to control the situation, manipulate the outcome to get it to how I wanted it, and I wasn't really releasing those things to God. And then fast forward now to just even a few weeks ago, we were having some I don't I don't know what you want to call it, turbulence. I like when you use that word turbulence. We're having some turbulence with um one of our daughters. And I did the same thing where I was like, I just need to pray about this, and so I did, but then I also turned around and was like, okay, well, now here's the here's the text message I'm gonna construct to try to control this, um, direct it, guide it. And I really had to stop myself and say, What are you doing? And I think that's when I really, the light bulb moment went on where I said, What are you doing? You just handed this over to God, and now you're taking it away from him. And every time you do that, you're basically telling God, guess what? I don't trust you. Um, I don't have faith, and I think I can handle this better than you can. And clearly, I cannot because it's not a new, it's not a new um topic of turbulence. It's turbulence that it's been the same, it's been on repeat for like eight years. And so clearly I'm not releasing it. I keep going back and trying to take control of it. And and so do you. It's a it's a wee thing.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Yeah. This particular one is a wee thing.

SPEAKER_03 13:20

Yeah, this particular one is a wee thing. And um so yeah, that's that's my that's my specific situation, circumstance, and relationship.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

Well, and I think mine was more so about um the work that I've done over the last 15 years than moving down here and just being in this stalemate for a year and not really not really doing anything except for trying to hold on to what I have um in Indiana. And it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago. I don't I I I couldn't tell you the the day or the month, but I know you know, within the last few weeks or so, I started building this website for what I'm doing now and just praying to God, like, you know, what am I supposed to be doing? You know, what's the direction that I'm supposed to be doing? And, you know, just giving it to him and and he put real estate, you know, in front of me. And that's when I started building the website. And I was like, this is what I'm gonna do. And for me, it was something that I I prayed about, and I I guess maybe I did take it back a lot of times because I thought I could do social media, or I thought I could do this, or I thought I could do this down here, and and none of those were the ways, but this real estate thing kept coming up, and maybe I fought it at first, and then I started to dig deeper into it, building the website, and started contacting, you know, real estate agents, and then hey, a few things fell in my lap, and you know, you know, now I'm about to get another client that's a full-time client, which is which is great. Um, so I'm excited about that, and not uh not I'm excited about that. I'm glad I prayed about it. I wish I would listen to God more often instead of trying to go back and not release it. Because it is, it is difficult. And and there are many times throughout my life I can I can go back to and say, hey, I was praying about this, and I would try to do it my way, and my way failed. A lot of the times, you know. Yeah, but then I remember, you know, there are a lot of times that I did pray, and I was, you know, obviously wasn't thinking about this conversation, but you know, I did pray about it, I did release it, and you know, good things happened. Um you were one of those good things that happened. Oh just so you know.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

That's sweet.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Not try to be sweet. We are sweet, but that's the truth. I I asked God for a good woman in my life, a Christian woman. Just give it to him, and then he was like, Hey, here's this Burnett.

SPEAKER_03 16:03

And I wouldn't consider myself a good Christian woman when you met me. Right. Well, I was definitely not doing things that definitely were aligned with where I am now.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

We are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God, Gina. So there you go. No, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

No, that I I love that. And thank you for sharing that and being vulnerable. And I guess I want to ask you like what like what triggered triggered the like take back? You know, why when you would release, would you then grab it back?

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Well, because I thought I could do it wasn't happening fast enough. I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

Not resolving on your timeline.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

No, yeah. I I I can do it, I'll take care of it, I'll make it happen. And it would there was nothing moving. There was not like there was literally was nothing moving.

unknown 16:56

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

And then finally I'm just like, okay, God, I'm here. Uh I'll praise your name till the day I die. Give me directions, show me the way, what do you want me to do? And bam. Right. You know, it was real estate. It was it was the photography, it was the drone, it was the, you know, that sort of thing. And I I I I I started building a website for me, which I've never done. I've built websites for other people. But I was like, what are you doing? And I'm learning how to build a website and do all these things. And um it was yeah, it was absolutely God because it wasn't me. Yeah, because that wasn't my first choice.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

So Right.

SPEAKER_03 17:35

I think um for me, what triggers my take back is definitely, you know, fear and control, because my primal question is, am I safe? And the satellite question is, am I secure? But also I think it's about for in the in the situation of our daughter, it's it's watching somebody that you love and care about make choices that you know are hurtful for them. And that's 100%. That usually is my trigger of why I try to go in and you know, give my two cents when it's not asked for or wanted. Um and so I think that's my trigger. Um and sometimes it can my trigger can be financial because of the this this uh security is about resources. Um but what I can say, I think let's talk about like what does controlling it actually cost us like emotionally, spiritually, relationally. And I know for me trying to um, I don't know, like come in and and and do these things and want this relationship and and try so hard, I feel like it's backfired. Um and trying to control it is actually like cost me, I think, like the relationships. Instead of just letting just letting them veer off their path and do what they're gonna do. Sure, you know, and and just really releasing them to God.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Mine was it it for me it was anger, anger with God, and you know, why isn't why isn't something falling in my lap sooner? Why can't I get this thing off the ground quicker? Um and then of course ultimately it's like your your your paycheck is very small and the the money that you have flowing in is very small.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

So Right right. And not trusting.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Not trusting.

SPEAKER_03 20:07

Not trusting. Oh yeah, yes, yeah. And we're human, so that happens. So let's talk about like the good part. Like, has there been a situation where you finally truly released it? And like what did that feel like? Which I feel like you kind of alluded to it, like you finally trusted, and now you've like, okay, yeah, this direction. Yeah, sorry, I should have told the story more and I should have I should have No, it's it's okay, but I think too what I want to add to for you is that you did you did listen and you did trust, but it has actually opened up some other doors, even in other directions, for you that aren't real estate. And because you like your personality, like you need variety.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

Oh, I okay. So you're talking about going back to singing.

SPEAKER_03 21:00

Well, no, like you you have other clients in other realms that are not real estate that have come to you now. Oh, yeah. You know, you're you're building a website for somebody else that doesn't have anything to do with real estate, right? Like more things are opening to you.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

Yeah, when you're connecting with people, yes, and that's what I've done for 20 years is I've connected people.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

Yes, that's your wheelhouse.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

And that's it, but that and that goes right into the singing thing, is because that's really how I built a lot of everything up there is I, you know, Tom Didier and Todd asked me to be in this show in 2009, and then you know, it led into me building the brat pack, and then we started singing, and then we did all these weddings, and you know, it just we did all these charity events, so it you know, and and I knew that and it's still gonna take time down here, but I'm slowly starting to meet people and be out in the marketplace where people can can at least see me and know who I am and know what I do, which has led into you know, you know, praying to. Got about singing because I've been very fearful about singing down here. I've always said, Oh, when I get to Florida, I'll sing and it'll be great. But hello, I've been here over a year now and I haven't sang anywhere because I've been afraid. And it's not only I don't know. I I couldn't tell you. Afraid of singing by myself because it is hard doing a one hour doing a three-hour show by yourself.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

And you know, where where where are the places that I can sing? Well, now I now I have a handful of places I can sing. And so, you know, I'm just gonna go out and market myself, and you know, maybe they'll give me a steak dinner and I'll sing. The bigger picture for me is yes, I can entertain people, but I can meet people. Yeah, and people can see me and know who I am and know that I I do these other things.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

Right. And you have a gift.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Yeah. People.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

You and your voice, your singing voice is a gift. Yeah, oh, absolutely. And it connects, it it's a your that gift is a connector. Yes. So, yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

I would never usually say that about myself, but yes.

SPEAKER_03 23:05

No, you it is, and you're so that's that's music makes people happy.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

So, yes, giving it to God and and praying about it, you can pray for it every day, but until you truly release it and truly give it to God, you're you're gonna be stuck.

SPEAKER_03 23:20

Yeah. So I have a question for our listeners. What is the the thing right now that you keep praying about and then taking back?

SPEAKER_00 23:29

Ooh.

unknown 23:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:32

Yeah. That that's my question.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

What is the thing you keep praying about, but then you take it back?

SPEAKER_03 23:38

Then you keep taking it back.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

That's a good thing for you, the listener, to come to our socials and tell us because we would love to hear from you. You know, we do get a lot of we do get people that that message us. Um, so even if you want a private message us, that'd be great to hit us up on our socials. Um, but we certainly appreciate all the people that leave messages and like our stuff on social. So thank you.

SPEAKER_03 23:59

We do, but I think you also were trying to avoid and divert because you were like, yeah, we want our listeners to answer that, so we don't have to. Is that what you were trying to do?

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Oh, do I have to answer that one? I I'm messing with you. I mean, I can.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

No, it's I mean, if you want to, is there something right now that you feel like you keep praying about and then you keep taking it back?

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Well, uh, you know, my relationship with with uh do I say his name? Caden? My son, our son, yes, Caden. Yes, Caden Caden. Uh I I keep praying about our relationship. I haven't talked to him in over two months, you know. Uh as far as I know, he's working at GM but you know, him and his sister, they you know, uh we we've tried to help them, we've tried to give them advice, but you know, they don't, I don't, they don't want my advice, our advice. Um we've tried to help them financially and and it just it you know it sucks right now for this part of my relationship with them because I do pray. I do pray for to God and I ha I I feel like I've I think I've given it more to him for Caden than I have for Ellie because I I try to fix things for Ellie. Um but you know it's hard when you talk about kids that are in their early 20s and you just want to help your kids. Yeah, for example. You just want to help them, you just want to make sure that they're not making the same mistakes you did, and you know, but for me not to be able to talk to them, it it it breaks my heart. Um there are many nights that I would, you know, have tears in my eyes when I'd go to bed. Um and I'm not gonna get emotional right now, but you know, that's that's the one thing I pray about is you know, just just our relationship that someday God will heal their heart and uh you know we just we just want the best for them.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

And uh and that's the hard part.

SPEAKER_03 26:01

It is hard. So thank you for being vulnerable and honest. All right. So why we take it back, right? The the honest diagnosis.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

The honest diagnosis.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

Yeah. I mean, I feel like fear is usually the root, 100%, you know, and um you have to really work on unpacking that honestly for yourself and what's underneath that that fear, the illusion of control. You know, we take it back because controlling feels way safer than trusting somebody else with it.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

For me, it was the timeline problem. Um yeah, we release it, but we have a secret deadline that God bring me the job. Bring me a gig. God, please just bring me a skip. Can you please at four o'clock? Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 26:57

Yeah, yeah. And you just said like loving someone too much to let them fail or struggle. And that is especially with children and grandchildren. We, you know, we don't we don't want them to struggle, but gosh, they need to because the the struggle is where the growth is. That's how they develop, that's how they learn resiliency, that's how they learn how to take care of themselves. And, you know, we, I don't know, our generation, boy, our parents let us fail and struggle. And oh yeah, it's not it's not like that these days as much. So that, but that is a reason why I think we take back um our prayers. We don't release it. And, you know, the identity issue, like some of us are definitely fixers and helpers by nature. And would be you releasing feels like abandonment. We don't want anyone to feel abandoned. Right. And that we're, you know, we're trying to, we're we're just trying to take care of everybody. And then sometimes we take back things due to our past traumas and past experiences that kind of make our surrender feel dangerous. Um, I know I feel like that happens to me sometimes. I feel like if I don't have control over things just because of some past experiences that that you know, that I won't be okay. And that just comes with safety.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

So is taking it back always a faith failure, or is it sometimes just being human?

SPEAKER_03 28:28

Hmm. I think it's a little of both.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

Oh, I was gonna say both.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

It's absolutely for for me, it's a little, it's a little of both, and and I want to be honest because I do like I can say, like, yes, I have a lot of faith, and I do. However, if I'm if I'm trying to say that, then I shouldn't really be trying to take it back. But I know I give myself grace and mercy because I am human. I think it goes back to what we talked about in the beginning about it's a practice, you know, it's a daily practice. It might be an hourly practice for me, where I have to say, I have to release this. And I I've been even doing it like beyond the prayer. I've been doing it even in our marriage. Like I've been trying to be more conscious and aware of releasing things that I don't need to try to control in our marriage or really control you. I don't I don't need to do that. And I don't know if you've noticed or if you've felt a difference or seen a difference. Okay, nope, by the look on your face, no, you have not. No, I have. I have. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, I I think we can say that we're full of faith, and I think that we are. However, if we are taking things back, then we do have to be honest and have personal responsibility about that that is a faith failure. But I think it's a faith failure because we're human. And yeah, we have to give ourselves some grace and mercy because we are human.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

And like we said earlier, it's a practice, right? It's not a one-time thing. It's I I have to practice releasing like every hour daily, you know, not just like one time.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

It does take practice.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

It does. I I'm really trying to be really aware of it lately, where I'm even during the day, I'm like, nope, I need to release that. I need to release that. It's not mine to carry. Give it to God, don't take it back.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

So which of these, which of these resonates most with you, the listener? Is it the fear? Timeline? Is it the identity? Or is it something else? We'd really like to know. Let us know what it is for you. Which one of these resonates most with you personally?

SPEAKER_01 30:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

And now we're gonna kind of get into some tools. Yes. That I know Gene is excited about because she gets right into the tool bag. Um so we're gonna get into, you know, how to release.

SPEAKER_03 31:11

Yeah, we have six practical tools for you to to kind of do like a a release of these things that you're not letting go of.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Yeah, and the first one is gonna be to write down everything they are currently carrying. What are you, the listener, carrying right now? I want you to write it down. Do you have a journal? Because if you don't have a journal, Gina is working on getting journals. We're gonna have those puppies printed up and you're gonna be able to get one. But have a journal and write down it, write down in your journal, you know, what these are.

SPEAKER_03 31:46

Yeah. So it's that one's called the release inventory. So it's just writing down everything you're currently carrying. And then next to it, you want to write down honestly like, have I truly released this or am I managing it while praying about it? Because the act of writing brings out clarity and honest, like it's real. It's real, it's like that's it. So the second tool is identifying your take back triggers. So, what specific emotions, circumstances, or times of day cause you to reach back for control. And I think that's really interesting because sometimes we don't always identify, like, we're like, why are we doing this at this time of day, or why is this bothering me? And usually there's a precursor, there's a trigger to it. And so if you can lock in on what that specific emotion or circumstance or time of day is, what's happening for the cause, that's that's really powerful. And then um, you know, just some of the common triggers are if you feel silence from God, um, or you're watching someone struggle, financial stress, 2 a.m. anxiety, or um, you know, you're I think too, if you're not spending time with God, then you do feel like there's silence from God. So you have to be more intentional with your relationship and just being present and still with God. And when you know your triggers, you can recognize the moment before you act on them.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

Ooh. The next tool is create a release ritual, you know, something physical and intentional that marks the moment of surrender, uh, writing it on paper, burning it. It's like writing it on paper and burning it, and then burning the paper.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

Releasing, yes, burn that paper.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

Open-handed prayer posture. Um, you know, you see a lot of people in prayer on Sunday with their hands up or their hands to the side, hands open, yeah you know, just being specific in prayer and in the prayer that you pray every time you feel the urge to take it back. Yes, yeah, and the ritual is not uh David Copperfield magic. It is literally a physical anchor. You know, it's supposed to remind your body what your spirit has decided.

SPEAKER_03 34:13

It's so good.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

So write it and burn it.

SPEAKER_03 34:16

Yeah, and if you're close to the ocean or water, write it and throw it in the water.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

Yeah, but again, be intentional about it.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

So, tool number four is the re-release prayer. So, you know, we want to give you permission to release the same thing over and over without shame. And that's where you give yourself the grace and mercy. That's where you're like me and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm starting to take this back. I have to practice releasing again. And then um, here's just a you know, a suggestion, a simple daily prayer. You can say, God, I released this yesterday and I'm releasing it again today. It is yours, not mine. Because release is not a one-time transaction, it is a practice. We're never gonna be perfect at this. Nope. But we can definitely be better at this.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

For sure. And this is one I like having the accountability question, you know. So I want to invite you to find one person who can you can ask them regularly, you know, are you carrying something you've already prayed about? You know, for couples, make this a weekly check-in question with each other, you know, suggest suggest you both model this by sharing how you hold each other accountable in this area.

SPEAKER_03 35:42

So good. Because that's what, right? That's that's a Christ-centered marriage. That's a spiritually centered marriage, right? Like if you're gonna do that and hold each other accountable.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

I wanted to say that, but I was gonna get tongue-tied. Oh, that's okay. I'm glad you came in and saved me.

SPEAKER_03 35:58

Okay, so that was tool number five. And then our last tool, tool number six, examine the fruit. This is so good.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

And this doesn't mean examining the fruit at Publix.

SPEAKER_03 36:08

No, it doesn't mean your watermelon that we had for lunch. Okay. It means when you're carrying something that you've released, there's there is fruit. So anxiety, um, control, sleeplessness, irritability, strained relationships. But when you have truly released something, there is also fruit. And that fruit is peace that doesn't make sense. You have clarity and you'll have rest. So I want to encourage all of you to check your fruit regularly as an honest diagnostic, which I know is a big word. So basically just being honest with yourself, right? And ownership, self-leadership, personal accountability, like your internal mindset. Yes, you have to be honest, you have to examine the fruit. There's always fruit from what we do, and I can tell you that the when I really like just in the last week, have been really praying and really releasing, like I told you this morning, I have felt such a sense of peace and freedom every time I can release something and I don't pick it back up. And even when I misstep and I have to say, when I start to and I say, no, no, no, no, I release that, it's it uh it it stays. Like I'm like, yep, there's the freedom, there's the peace, there it is. And so I guess the question we have is you know, which of these tools do we personally need the most right now? That's a great question to ask yourself because you might not need all of them right now. You might only need one. You might be like, hey, I'm pretty good at this one, I'm pretty good there. And some of us might be like, No, I need all six tools. I need to go through all six of them.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

So, um So all six tools release inventory, identify your take back triggers. Number three, create a release ritual. Number four, the re-release prayer. Number five, the accountability question. Are you carrying something you've already prayed about? Number six, examine your fruit. Yes. In segment number five. I guess we wouldn't really say in segment number five. We would not. Okay. So what true release has produced in your life?

SPEAKER_03 38:43

So what has true release really produced in your life?

SPEAKER_00 38:48

Are you asking me?

SPEAKER_03 38:49

Well, sure. If you'd like to share.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Well, I mean, I think for me, true release, you know, has um it's produced a a focus on where my focus needs to be now. Um, you know, there are a couple of different paths that that God has put me on instead of eighteen hundred different paths that I'd like to be on.

SPEAKER_03 39:10

Right.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

So I think focus, clarity, vision, purpose, um, some of those things.

SPEAKER_03 39:18

That's good. Yeah. Okay. So I guess, you know, I'm I would say, um prior to you when I shared my story of, you know, I would pray, but then I wouldn't release it. And when I finally did release it, God, he did. He moved in a way that that I could have never engineered, because I was trying to engineer it a whole different direction. I was trying to hold on, you know, I was trying to not have my marriage end. And um, you know, I would have never found him or been as close to him if I hadn't gone through that. And in turn, I probably wouldn't have looked for uh a spiritually God-loving, God-fearing man. And I one presented himself in front of me and led with his faith. And so uh that is a way that I could have never engineered. And I I th I really do thank God for that every day.

SPEAKER_00 40:33

I'll give an amen to that.

SPEAKER_03 40:37

And so I think also um, you know, we have to ask ourselves, what did that do? Like when when we did have true release and we're talking about, you know, what it produces in your life, um, what does it do for your faith and your willingness to release the next thing? And I mean, that's pretty easy, right? I mean, if you release something and you have this great fruit from it, then you're gonna continue to release. It's gonna be easier.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

It's gonna be easier, but you're still gonna fail.

SPEAKER_03 41:10

Yep, you're right.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

And you're going to need to practice. You are gonna need to do that. And you're going to need to write it down. And you're gonna need to have somebody who's accountable. Yes. That you can count on.

SPEAKER_03 41:20

And I think it's important to say that the piece doesn't that you feel from releasing it does not come from the absence of the problem. Like let you just segue beautifully into that, is but it's the absence of the weight, right? Yeah, because that's yes, because the art of letting it go and leaving it there then takes off the weight.

SPEAKER_00 41:43

Yeah, and the weight is what weighs you down daily. And it's always on your mind. You don't get rid of it because you didn't release it.

SPEAKER_03 41:52

And then you can't let anything else work in your life or in the life of the person that maybe you're, you know, you're carrying. So yeah. I think for us, um it's I think releasing like definitely has impacted our marriage. It's it's impacting, and and of course, you know, we're just like we said, we're today years old that we are really figuring this out and embracing this. But I can already see, like, I know for me, in ways that I feel like I've been practicing this within our marriage and in our parenting and our even in our relationship with our our granddaughters, I feel like I've kind of been doing that too. Um and I just feel like it's it's taken that's just a great way to describe it is the weight, takes the weight off, and then you can actually be more present and you can be, you can enjoy the moments and you're not bogged down by all of this stuff. Because you know, we always talk about how our feelings are not always the truth, so and our emotions are not always the truth. Um and I guess when you can have I call it confidence in what he can do, it makes the releasing a lot easier.

SPEAKER_00 43:17

Amen.

SPEAKER_03 43:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

Amen again. Got some good nuggets in there, Gina.

SPEAKER_03 43:22

We've got some good nuggets today. So as we wrap up, um, I just want to reiterate as we have that, you know, nobody masters this. It's a lifelong practice. It's not a destination, right? There's not a finish line. It's it's not a race, it's a marathon. Um, and I just want to tell any listener out there, anyone who feels like you're white knuckling something right now and you're exhausted from it, because I know what that feels like. I I know we both know what that feels like when we're white knuckling a situation, a circumstance. A relationship. I mean, it it the weight of it, the exhaustion. Like, I just want you to know that there is a way to pray and release. And it's not giving up, it's just trusting someone bigger than you.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

Yeah. Yeah. Amen.

SPEAKER_03 44:19

And um.

SPEAKER_00 44:21

So we want to leave you with one little bit of encouragement. Yes. I want to leave you with a little anchor prayer verse that I found. It's uh Philippians 4, 6, 7. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Amen. Beautiful verse. Well, that's all we got time for you guys today. We we uh we that that's a great that's a great episode. Great episode. Yes. Oh, I guess. Yeah. Is there more you want to add? No. Did we catch it all?

SPEAKER_02 45:02

No, we cut it all.

SPEAKER_00 45:03

Well, there you go. That's all we got time for you guys today. Thank you for listening and staying plugged into this episode. We know it's a little long, but hopefully you got a lot of value out of it. If you did get value out of it, please feel free to share it with your friends, your family, anybody that may need to listen to something like this. If you know of anybody that needs counseling right now, GinaMichaelcoaching.com. Shameless plug. That's gonna cost you dinner. And that that is it. So from the Clubhouse Studios, feathered in Grace and Armor, thank you guys for listening. Be sure to leave us that five star review, and we will see you on the next episode.

SPEAKER_02 45:34

Bye.