Feathered In Grace & Armor
This is us, doing life in the second act, real, raw, authentic and transparent. Hoping to share our stories, experiences, knowledge and wisdom, adding value and impact, for your personal and professional growth.
Feathered In Grace & Armor
Episode 47 Feathered In Grace & Armor: We're Back — And We're in the Messy Middle
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Hey friends! We're back. And we have missed you more than you know. We are not going to pretend the last few weeks did not happen or give you a cleaned up version of where we have been. We are just going to sit down with you today and tell you the truth. Because that is what this podcast has always been about and we are not about to stop now.
Welcome to Feathered in Grace and Armor. I'm Gina.
SPEAKER_01And I'm the Armor part of this podcast. I'm Chad.
SPEAKER_00Together, we're here to explore the beautiful balance between grace and strength in our lives.
SPEAKER_01In a world that often pushes us to choose sides, softness or toughness, vulnerability or resilience, we believe the true power lies in embracing both.
SPEAKER_00Each week we'll dive into heartfelt conversations, share inspiring stories, and discuss the lessons we've learned on our journeys of faith, love, and personal growth.
SPEAKER_01So join us as we uncover how to walk through life gracefully, all while wearing the armor of God against the challenges we face.
SPEAKER_00Whether you're a man or a woman, our hope is that this podcast becomes a source of encouragement and wisdom for you.
SPEAKER_01So let's spread our wings and forge ahead together on this adventure of life, love, and the pursuit of grace. Hey, hey, hey, we don't want to waste a minute of your time because we know you don't have time to waste. Ain't that right, Gina?
SPEAKER_00I don't know how to answer that.
SPEAKER_01You don't have time to waste. We don't have time to waste. And we've been wasting a lot of time doing other things.
SPEAKER_00We're back.
SPEAKER_01We are definitely back. And we just uh we want to come onto this podcast today and tell you to close all your browsers, close your phones.
SPEAKER_00But if they do that, they might close us.
SPEAKER_01Well, don't close us, though. It's gonna be a great show. It's totally off the hook, off the cuff. We have nothing prepared. We've just been kicking ourselves over the last probably month. Month.
SPEAKER_00It's been a month.
SPEAKER_01You like went back and looked. It's been one month.
SPEAKER_00June 25th, I think, was our last released episode.
SPEAKER_01We must have had some major turbulence. We must have we must have some major turbulence that we had to go through and are still going through. And I, you know, a lot of a lot of forgiving. A lot of well, I I mean you forgiving me. I'll just throw myself under the bus now. But no, it's it's 30 days. That's unacceptable, and we just apologize because we definitely want to be better than that. But it's those doggone curveballs that life throws at you, and we've been going through them. And so yeah, so kick us off, Gina. We're back.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we're back, and honestly, like we missed you guys more than you could possibly know. And so many times in the last month, we have said we need to record a podcast episode. We need to do this, like all the time. It's it sits on me, and um not gonna give you like a big apology or a cleaned up version where we've been. We're just gonna sit down and go through it, just tell you like what's kind of been going on, and um just kind of acknowledging the gap and how long we've been, we've been off of here and kind of about why. And um, I don't even know if we really have a why. I we do have a why, but I mean it wasn't it wasn't a decision, it wasn't a why, like no, it wasn't yeah, it was just every day, every week, yeah, every week every month, turbulence turned in and more turbulence for me. It wasn't I don't I don't feel like there was turbulence.
SPEAKER_01Well, it was turbulence and then it was you know all the other things.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Okay. So yeah. So, you know, it's been a month, and I think the last one was June 25th, and that was right before you left for Indiana for eight days. You were you left July 1st.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00You left July first and came back July 8th. So you were gone. So that that took we didn't have anything pre-recorded prior to you leaving, no, which is a big ordeal because then because we had a lot of turbulence before that. There's eight days in the month and that are gone. Gone, and then you get back, and you know, we're trying to get back in the swing, get back in the routine, and which is can be very difficult for us to like switch gears again and all the things. So I don't know. It just every day just came and went, and we still didn't record an episode. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it uh and it has been weighing on us. I know it's been weighing on Gina because we set out to do this you know, once or twice a week, and I can't really tell the you know, I just twisted my finger. I'm so sorry. Speak about more turbulence, but we we set out to to do this podcast and and to be consistent with it and to put out uh great messages and and you know, to hopefully you know make an impact on people's lives. So and I know we've had people that have asked us, hey, where you been, and that's you know one of the other contributing factors of we just gotta get our butt in gear and you know it's been raining here all day, and we decided to uh just just get back behind the microphone and and start talking.
SPEAKER_00You gotta do it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You gotta do it. I think too I mean, I do you want to talk about the turbulence? Because you've said that word several times.
SPEAKER_01If you'd like to bring it up and go back over it, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, I I don't I'm not I don't really understand what so I want to hear from your perspective, like what the turbulence just the turbulence of all the stuff on the compound.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay. So it's still not done yet and we're still Well, we haven't started. We haven't started. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's it's kind of like.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, if you want to go back, go back to like, oh, hey, did we did we say the kids wanted to sell the house and we wanted we were gonna button? We did.
SPEAKER_00I think we talked about where they they thought that yeah, they might want to sell the property and not because they didn't want to be near us, they wanted us to still live like right next door in the same neighborhood, close to them, whatever. But they thought that maybe that's what they wanted to do, and then they did some refinancing, which you can't have open permits when you're in the middle of a refinance. Yeah, there's just one. So we had to hold off, yeah. So we just had to hold off on that. So that delayed it, and then you've got permitting, and you've got a couple different permitting going on from different angles, you know. And so it's just been one thing kind of after another. And you know, I always say, today's the closest day that we've ever been to our end goal, our end game. So every day I'm like, well, we're one day closer. Um, and that would be true, but we still don't have an exact date, a start date. Um, so that's where we're at. And was there anything else about the turbulence? No.
SPEAKER_01I mean, that's pretty much it.
SPEAKER_00That's pretty much it. So I think everything else. Yeah, I think it's just we're in this space of like it's kind of I'm gonna call it the messy middle. It's a place where like I like the messy middle, where you're too far in to go back and not close enough to the other side to feel the relief yet. Like, like if there were some dirt being moved, I think we would not the truth.
SPEAKER_01We would be like wait, go back, go back and say that over. Okay, like because that's exactly where we're at.
SPEAKER_00It is, we're in the messy middle for everything.
SPEAKER_01We're too far to go back. Right. We're too far to go anywhere else.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_01We've got to stay here and pull up foundation and see this thing through.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And and we want to. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. But so the messy middle, I said it's like the place where we're too far in to go back and not close enough to the other side to feel the relief yet.
SPEAKER_01Makes perfect sense to me.
SPEAKER_00And not only for me, and I'm not gonna speak for you, but for me, it's not only about the compound. It's kind of goes in, it's in alignment with a lot of different things in our life right now.
SPEAKER_01Um speak on it.
SPEAKER_00I'm going to. It's all this, right? It's all the stuff we have going on at the compound, but it's also, I feel like our our our personal life, our marriage, our professional life, like everything is kind of in the the messy middle right now for us, you know, starting over and um it's trying to, you know, we still don't feel grounded um in friendships or in our careers. We're we're we we're re both rebuilding at the same time.
SPEAKER_01Preach it.
SPEAKER_00And that's really hard. And then while we're trying to rebuild and with, you know, a home, careers, um, we still have to maintain things that we already have built or and or relationships, and it's it's just we're in the messy middle. It's we're in the middle of it all. It's hard. And so it's really been hard for me, you know, to get on here and I'm like, gosh, what kind of golden nuggets do I have to offer our listeners? What kind of tools do I have to offer our listeners? What kind of inspiration? And I just haven't felt it.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00And I didn't want to come on and not feel it, but then I realized that that's what we are about. We're about authenticity and about the truthfulness of this journey. And we still, I mean, our faith is really strong. We're still super strong in our faith. We know that God's got this, we know his hand is all over it, we know he's guiding our steps. However, you know, there are practical things. We're human, we have emotions and feelings, and um, and I don't want to we have doubts.
SPEAKER_01We want to quit. I don't want to throw the towel anyway. God, can we just quit already?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But you can't quit, you know.
SPEAKER_00No, no.
SPEAKER_01You gotta keep going forward, and especially in our case, you know, we're with what we've built, what we've had, what we have, and the decisions that we've made, you know, we we have to just continue to go forward.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I think this is kind of the hardest place to be and the least talked about. Like I think people don't talk about the messy middle. Well, they we talk about the start and the end.
SPEAKER_01No, they they they don't. They don't do the podcast, they dial back and they go do other things.
SPEAKER_00Right. For anything, yeah. For anything. Yeah, you're right. The analogy applies everywhere. Absolutely. Yes. And I think it's, you know, it's kind of like where the the beginning energy is worn off and the breakthrough has not arrived. That's you know, we were, I mean, we really honestly thought we would only be in this space for like six to eight months, and nine, we're it's gonna end up we're gonna be in here for a year probably, all said and done or more. Oh, absolutely. But it's okay, and it's okay because I look at that and I say, Oh, okay, Gina, what do you have to complain about? Nothing.
SPEAKER_01Because I mean, it's a beautiful casita, and it's shelter and shelter and I'll go back to I'm sure I've said this on other serving with new life, where people live and what people don't have.
SPEAKER_00So we have nothing.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely nothing to complain about.
SPEAKER_00Yes, nothing. So, but again, we're human and we're allowed to have our feels.
SPEAKER_01And the things that we, you know, we've got a great place to live. We do have careers, we do have some income coming in, our kids are healthy. Yeah. Like for the most part, kids are healthy. Yeah. Um we're healthy.
SPEAKER_00No, we're we might have fevers and colds, but you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like we're very blessed.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I I think that's just kind of where we're we're coming from today is we're coming from the messy middle. And you know, you I think everybody can relate to that, and everyone can probably say, Yeah, me too.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_00I've been.
SPEAKER_01I'm sure there's people listening right now that are like, yep, I've been in the messy middle, or I'm in the messy middle right now. What do I do? You know, I want to give up, I want to quit, I want to get a divorce, I want to fire my employee or whatever it might be.
SPEAKER_00Right, right. Yeah, and it's just it's kind of a waiting season. Um, but although we, I feel like there's part of it's that's why it's so messy. It's like part of it is a waiting season, but we are really making strides. Like if someone else looked at us, they would be like, I see all the strides you're making. And sometimes I have to do that because I do that when I'm coaching a client when they're like, Oh, this isn't working out. But I know I have to say, Whoa, wait a second, like look at all these things that you've done and you're doing. Yeah, let's let's look at the strides. Because right, what we magnify gets bigger. And so if we magnify all the doubts and the fears and and all of that, but we don't magnify like, oh, hey, we're actually doing a pretty good job. And we both have made good strides in our you know, our careers here.
SPEAKER_01You've got some new clients. I've got a few new clients, yeah. And uh we you just keep building.
SPEAKER_00You just keep building, we just keep building, we keep doing. So it is, but again, we just wanted to be like authentic and truthful about how it is hard. And you know, it there's things, so I guess things that have been difficult with this and being in the messy middle for me is I sometimes feel responsible when you are down or frustrated, or you know, not seeing movement out here and things like that, or we're not connected to friends to go out and like do things or have more of a social life that we're the what we were used to before. And so then I struggle because I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm the one that like, I mean, you wanted to come. It wasn't that you didn't want to be here, but you know, I'm like, wow, you know, here we are. And you know, so then sometimes that fear and doubt gets in my head, and I'm like, oh, would he rather be, you know, back in Indiana? And and so then I feel responsible, and then I have to have my own self-talk of like, okay, you don't have that kind of power, Gina. You're not responsible for for him or these decisions or managing his emotions or regulating his emotions or feelings, and so and then I think that carries over then into our marriage, and so I think that can, you know, just carry over and things that we have to work out. Would you agree?
SPEAKER_01I would agree. I chose the decisions.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01I said yes.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I think.
SPEAKER_01So I mean, would I like to be on a lake or the ocean? Maybe a little more than I am now.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_01But it's all gonna be okay because God's got this.
SPEAKER_00He does, he does. Yeah, and I think it's just the the moments that I think kind of pull me out of this messy middle is you know, when we have moments with our granddaughters, like last night, we had the oldest, Ava, who is four. We had her back here with us pretty much all day and overnight, um, because the middle, our middle one little Katie Ladybug has had a fever for a couple of days. And when you get those moments like that, and they just you know, they consume your time, but it's a beautiful it's a beautiful moment and space to consume because all they want to do is just be with you. Like she is so obsessed with papa, and and I know she loves me too, but it's funny, it's like he brings the fun and then I bring the comfort. So, you know, it's like they play and be goofy and silly and fun, and then at the end of the night, it's her, you know, putting her arm around me and telling me I love you, like twice before she fell asleep last night. Oh yeah, just melted me. And then this morning, you know, wanted to snuggle. And so, like when you have moments like that and and just things, and then it just it shifts everything. Yeah, you're like, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I mean, for me, it's the the only manly time I get on the compound is when Drew and I are playing darts.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes. There's a lot of women in the world.
SPEAKER_01There's a lot of there's a lot, there's a lot, there's a lot, yeah, yeah. Three little girls, a dog, two ladies.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And Miss Connie, the next door neighbor. God love her.
SPEAKER_00There are six females on this property to two males.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, two adult women, a female dog, and three little girls. Yep, yep. You guys are never gonna win.
SPEAKER_01Not easy, yeah. Thank goodness though, my bonus daughter-in-law, Jess, is a fabulous cook. She is, she's amazing, she is.
SPEAKER_00So, you know, I and here's the thing about the messy middle, and I was telling our daughter-in-law this, and I I think I mentioned this to you too, but I said, you know, if you took a poll or a survey from a lot of couples who have been together over a long period of time, they would probably be able to tell you, they would be able to pinpoint the moment in time when they were the happiest in their relationships, their marriage, just with their life. And I think it is when you had less in a lot of aspects, like you materialistically you had less, you know, just responsibilities like professional responsibilities you had less. Like you were just living a simpler life. You weren't like like all of us, like we strive for things, but like I guess when you were the most content, when you felt the most content in your life is when I think you are the happiest. And and I feel like most couples could tell you, they could pinpoint that when you started to move out of that space of contentment because maybe you wanted more, or you know, life got busier, you wanted the bigger house, you wanted the more expensive cars, you wanted more land, what whatever it is, it it it it changed it. And I said, because I feel like if if you talk to couples that have been together for like a long time, they will say, Oh, yeah, I remember when we lived in that, you know, one bedroom apartment or the house with, you know, three bedrooms and one bathroom, we all had to share, and you know, things like that. And they're like, but we were so happy, you know. And then when you start to add all the other things is when, you know, it it gets more complicated. You have more things to manage, and I don't know. And so I was just, I think I was saying that because you watch your kids and and you want some, you know, you want them to have an amazing life, but you watch them start chasing these things. And I think it was just in regards to our conversation was I was trying to say, people will talk about like, I just want to be happy. And I'm like, how about we start looking at like I just I I'm not it's not happiness that I'm striving for, it's contentment. I want to be content because in that content is true freedom and peace. Happiness is fleeting.
SPEAKER_01Or the happiness could be in that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But I think it's the contentment that when you are content, that's when you feel like the most joy in your life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because when you're not content, you're doing the opposite. You're chasing, you're hustling, you're grinding, you're
SPEAKER_00Or you're going the other way.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. And I'm not even sure if that goes with what we're talking about, but it's okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's totally fine.
SPEAKER_00Because we're in the messy middle.
SPEAKER_01We are in the messy middle.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01The messy middle includes our morning chats with God and some of the exotic wildlife we have around here too. We could talk about that.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, we should share that story.
SPEAKER_01Because I never thought I would really love to watch cardinals and bluebirds and squirrels chasing each other. But every morning Lenny and Squiggy give me a show for free with my coffee.
SPEAKER_00They do.
SPEAKER_01They do. But a couple days ago, we had a very special guest on the compound property. Two weeks ago on a Monday.
SPEAKER_00I thought it was on a Sunday. Sunday?
SPEAKER_01Has it been that long already?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it was two weeks ago. It was before church.
SPEAKER_01So we're just inside chilling, having our coffee, and I look out the window and I see this little furry thing with a stub nose tail.
SPEAKER_00It wasn't little.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it looked little. I don't know. Maybe it was bigger than I thought it was.
SPEAKER_00It was a lot bigger.
SPEAKER_01Billy the Bobcat decided to stroll around the property and it was a cat for all we knew.
SPEAKER_00It was a bobcat. No, like we were you were like, you were like, babe, babe, there's there's a cat. I wasn't sure what the heck it was. And so we're looking out the window and we're trying to see it. And we have so we had to then go to our door and slightly crack the door open. And I was trying to get a video of it, and we got a video barely got the end, as this bobcat was walking into the conservation next to our little casita. And as it walked by our raised bed garden, then you could really see that it it was big and it was tall. And I was like, was that what was that? Was I I didn't know. I was like, I've never seen anything like that.
SPEAKER_01Panthers have long tails.
SPEAKER_00I was like, is that a panther? Is it a is it a what I say? Did I say a cheetah? I don't know what I said. But we sent it to our daughter-in-law's and our son, and she said, That is a Florida bobcat.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was pretty big, but you don't see those in Fort Wayne or you don't see those every day. No, no, no. So we've seen uh we've seen quite a bit of things here on the compound. So that's that's one of the things that gives me like I don't know, you love happiness. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because we do we love being outside, and that I think is one of the parts that's very difficult for you, especially. It's depressing, yeah, because we don't really have like outdoor living space like we're used to.
SPEAKER_01It's not even about the outdoor living. I got foldable chairs out there.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I know you don't care.
SPEAKER_01You sit out in the hot weather that you just you can't breathe. Yeah, it's if it rains, you might as well forget about it. Yeah, and I was actually tack talking to Sandy from Fair Muffler, and she was like, Oh, that's not what I want. That's what we were talking about today. About she wants to come down to Florida, she's like, Oh, how's the weather? I'm like, Well, it's it's it'll take your breath away.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's our winter.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's not uh it's not always roses and sunshine and rainbows down here.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So that that's the difficult part, is that it is so hot that you can't, it's not enjoyable to sit outside right now. And that's so that's a little difficult, even though I like being outside. Yeah. And I get up early and try to walk really early in the mornings so that I can get my outdoor time in. Uh, but yeah, that's that, you know, I think that's one thing that is hard. And we are, even though we're grateful for their small space, we're kind of like, oh my gosh, you know, we're going a little stir crazy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And again, you should be grateful. We are, and we are. However, it, yeah, we're just we're we're ready to just have a little bit more room.
SPEAKER_01Room to room to walk around. Yeah. Maybe a little pool to jump into when it's you know 108 degrees down here.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01But uh, we just want to say thank you guys for listening to the podcast and uh sending us the messages. And you know, uh, we just really appreciate you sharing, sharing our uh sharing our stuff, visiting us on the uh socials and uh just keeping us in check.
SPEAKER_00So we do. We we definitely appreciate it because something that really pushed us to hit record today was when we got the report, which we do from like um Buzz Pro. Yeah, from the podcast platform that we use. It'll tell you how many downloads you get. And I think what did I tell you? We had like 32 downloads this past week.
SPEAKER_01And I said it was everybody looking for a new podcast. They're like, they're like, they're like, where is Chad and Gina?
SPEAKER_00Well, no, if it means 32 downloads, doesn't it mean they listen to it? Yeah, to other to past episodes. But I was like, you know, um, we should probably get on here and talk about where we are and and all of that. So I guess we just want to say, you know, we thank you for listening to our messy middle. And we know you've been in your own hard seasons. Um and so we just we thank you for allowing us to be in one and kind of walking this with us, um, and knowing that hopefully, you know, the I guess the golden nugget you get from this is that it's you know, if somebody out there is wondering, like, oh, I I've kind of dropped the ball on something or I've backed away from it, and um we're telling you it's okay, get back up and get started again, like start over and um and and it's okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and that's what that's what the that's what the pastor said at church last Sunday, you know. You you you sin, you get back up, you repent for your sins, and you just keep going. Yeah, we're all sinners, yeah, but you just you you don't fall into shame and despair and want to give up.
SPEAKER_00Right. Don't magnify the sin. Yeah, you magnify the grace.
SPEAKER_01God gives you the grace, you're you know just keep going. So that's what we got for you. Keep going.
SPEAKER_00So you're not behind, you're not forgotten, you're not failing, you're in the messy middle, and the messy middle is not the end of our story, it's just the part where the story is actually being written.
SPEAKER_01Love that. Well, hey, I think that's all we have time for today. Thank you guys for listening to Feather the Grace and Armor. Uh, we will be back here on a regular basis. Um, yeah, and that's it. We just uh thank you guys so much. If you've got any prayer requests or you need anything, um, if we can guide and direct you, please let us know. Hit us up on socials, hit us up if you have our personal cell numbers and all that good stuff. Yes, please. And uh we will see you all on the next edition of Feathered and Grace and Armor. Bye. Thanks so much for spending time with us today on this episode of Feathered and Grace and Armor. We hope today's conversation encouraged you, challenged you, and gave you something meaningful to carry into your own relationships. If this episode spoke to you, please take a moment to leave us a five-star review on Spotify, share it with someone you care about, and join the conversation with us on social media. If you're walking through a difficult season and need prayer, guidance, support, know that you're not alone. We are here for you. This podcast was produced at the Clubhouse Studios, Tampa, Florida. No rebroadcast or reproduction is permitted without the express written permission of the founders of Feathered and Grace and Armor. Until next time, stay grounded in grace, walk with courage, and remember you're never too late for a powerful second act.