Could this be a career limiting podcast? Welcome to Fast Brained Women

Two women with ADHD explore their experiences of late diagnosis, workplace challenges, and finding community in a world designed for neurotypical minds.

• Dani and Lorna introduce the Fast Brained Women Podcast for women with ADHD by women with ADHD
• Both hosts received their diagnoses around age 30 after years of being labelled with depression and anxiety
• Exploring how masking as neurotypical takes a toll on mental health
• Career impacts of undiagnosed ADHD, including multiple redundancies and job changes
• The inconsistency of ADHD symptoms makes explaining them to others particularly challenging
• Social media's role in providing validation and community through relatable content
• Reframing ADHD from a "disorder" to recognising how these traits would have been valuable in ancestral times
• The importance of community as the ultimate resource for managing ADHD

Subscribe and join us for upcoming episodes featuring diverse women sharing their ADHD experiences.

Transcript

Welcome to Fast Brain Podcast

Speaker 1 0:00

Isn't it ironic that the person that you are recording a podcast with on ADHD is late? Oh, she's in the building. Hold the phone. So welcome to the Fast Brain Podcast. This is a podcast for women with ADHD by two women with ADHD. So expect chaos, expect interruption, expect us forgetting what we started talking about in the first place. We're human, we're doing it. That's pretty much the main thing, and we really hope, along the way, that you get to find some relatable, inspirational, anecdotal stories for your general everyday life. My name's Dani. I am a coach, a health and wellbeing coach. I'm also the founder of a community called Fast Brain Women, and that's why we're here, because in that process, lorna decided it would be a great idea to put something else on our to-do list and we've actually done it. We're here, lorna, please.

Speaker 2 1:02

How did this happen? We're just not busy enough. I decided, ouch, so how are we here? Well, you started something beautiful. You started to bring together some women who you knew were looking for some community, looking to connect with people like them, and I fell into your trap, trap, my cult. And then, yeah, you know, we. I listened to a lot of podcasts and I'm like, why not, let's do it, let's bring people together and talk about things that matter to us so we're from the same little hometown.

Speaker 1 1:35

How did you end up here in Dubai?

Speaker 2 1:39

I just wanted to get out of my. I just wanted to get out of the UK, not my hometown specifically, I've got some love for Bolton. I have to say, um, yeah, I was looking for anywhere that spoke English, because I don't have languages as a superpower. So, um, the UAE was the first place that sort of opened up the doors to me, and I've been here for 13 years now, I think you've been here. We didn't know each other before. I think that's important to state. We've met?

Speaker 1 2:03

yeah, we met. We worked this out the other day, didn't we worked? We met at a networking event right before covid yes, like literally on the cusp of everything being locked down, and, of course, we got on like house on fire. That was always gonna happen immediately connected on linkedin yes, and all the magic happened but that's how we figured out. We started at the weekend actually your birthday party and I was like, oh, someone asked us how do you know each other?

Speaker 2 2:31

we just looked to each other and we went scroll through the LinkedIn notifications you've always been around, um, but no, yeah, I met you on my maternity leave. Actually, I was going to a networking event at the time and you were there and we did some sort of treasure hunt and that was it, yeah.

Speaker 1 2:46

I remember that now. No, I think a lot of time in a place like this, when you're far from home, you just migrate towards like minded people. I think the universe has a way, there's a magnetism of bringing us together, so I'm pretty grateful for that.

Speaker 2 3:03

So what's your vision for this podcast bringing?

Finding Each Other in Dubai

Speaker 1 3:05

us together, so I'm pretty grateful for that. So what's your vision for this podcast? I really just think there is a space for conversation, a space for helping women who have probably found out that they have ADHD, or are, my new term, adhd curious later in life, right? So a lot of women who are in the fast brain community group the majority have found out post 30 years old that this is the way that their brain works. I was diagnosed when I was 30, something Can't remember exactly. Um, it made a lot of things make sense, yeah, and you know there's a lot of rawness around it, because I was I really flip-flopped between being diagnosed with, like depression and anxiety, and you know, it just never felt. You know, yes, I was, I wasn't sad, I wasn't depressed, I was overwhelmed, I was exhausted, I wasn't coping, I wasn't doing okay, but those labels, diagnoses, observations from medical professionals just never really seemed to make sense to me. And then, when finally I did come across the concept of ADHD, it literally just my whole life was like everything. Everything made sense.

Speaker 2 4:30

And I think that's so important to notice as well, because so many people go oh, adhd, what a wonderful superpower and, like I hate that term.

Speaker 2 4:39

I mean, I'm sure we'll get to the point where we will discuss all the beautiful and brilliant things about it, but, like with everything, there's a real downside and inability to do certain things. But also the prevalence of mental health issues in the ADHD community, and particularly among women, who are going longer without diagnosis, are dealing with stigma and judgment and masking to a degree that people who've had that ability to self reflect and understand where it's coming from before, you know, they've just had a longer journey to it. So I think we'll probably find as we go through this journey because I'm really excited to meet lots of different women from this region, um, and hear lots of different voices, but I'm sure we'll see a prevalence. You know, my journey was very similar anxiety, depression, um, you know, there's a correlation there, whether that's biological or because of the way society treats people with adhd.

Late Diagnosis and Mental Health

Speaker 1 5:35

It's it's not a clear line, it's a bit of both, I think yeah, I think masquerading as a neurotypical person for 30 odd years is it's gonna do that to you it's really hard work but I, like mine, became very tangible.

Speaker 1 5:48

I've been made redundant, I want to say, like six times. I think it's pretty impressive, like you know first time devastating. Second time, stung. Third time, uh, four times. Am I just good at losing my job? It's just something that I do. Barely stayed in a job longer than yeah, I think the longest job I had was three years, but I actually had two children, so I had two maternity leaves and also, you can't really leave a job while you're pregnant. Anyway, I had to do a lot of apologizing after that long tenure three years to the people I worked with as well, one because I was pregnant too, because I think at that point I was just not a great person to work for, um, so a lot of those things you start to take personally, and we all know that's the rejection sensitivity that comes with also having a fast brain is real and without context, you feel flawed, broken, not able, not enough, stupid, like you know, insert derogatory words here um, and that's that's the real dark side of it. That's something that I'm not willing to go back to.

Speaker 2 7:01

Yeah, definitely. It's like you know you are, hopefully, you know you're so good at so many things and you can see your strengths, but then the things that other people find easy are so hard. And that's that word stupid, you know, has haunted me throughout the years as well. You know I'm intelligent, got the scores, got emotional intelligence, I believe, but then you do stupid things like you know you intelligence, I believe. But then you do stupid things like you know, get your child in the back of the car, not saying I do that, especially not in hot cars but, um, you know, we've all made mistakes yeah, a few.

Speaker 1 7:32

Like I do have a reputation for thinking that I've booked flights there should be a whole episode on airport misadventures. I swear that just doesn't go down well anymore.

Speaker 2 7:44

I think again yeah nobody trusts me with that stuff there's a skepticism, then that comes along with it.

Speaker 1 7:50

I think people do start to um trust you less, I don't know, and I think this is why it's just so important to have that awareness and really then start to connect authentically with who you are, so you can then better communicate it to the people around you, who you are. So you can then better communicate it to the people around you, like you know, helping your friends to understand that you're not doing this on purpose, you're not not replying to them on purpose, or you know forgetting something or saying something inappropriate, or you know not listening or whatever. Again, insert myriad of nonsense here and that advocacy almost like how do you find describing helping people around you to, yeah, better understand what your lived experience looks like?

Speaker 2 8:39

I think the biggest challenge for me in all of this is being able to explain it to the people who do need to rely on me, whether that's my husband, work, etc. Because nothing you can say about ADHD is ever constant. Are you focused? Are you unfocused? Can you project manage? Yeah, I can really project manage very well.

Speaker 2 8:56

Um, and then other days not so much like, yeah, just shaking things in a bag and see what happens. Um, nothing is consistent. You know I can keep track of my belongings. Other days I'll lose absolutely everything. So I think that's the the most confusing part is nothing about. It is. Every day I'm dealing with the same struggles. It's a new and exciting bag of struggles every day. You just don't know what you're going to wake up to.

Living with ADHD Inconsistencies

Speaker 1 9:21

I feel like we need to like frame that as, like I don't know your demotivational quote here, she is everybody, but we'll just send that out before you go into a room or any kind of like scenarios like this is what you're gonna get.

Speaker 2 9:35

Yeah, my husband's like I don't know which version of you I'm gonna wake up to each day. I'm like that's what keeps us interested.

Speaker 1 9:40

You know how do but how do people like really receive it? I know that if you've got that kind of good relationship at work with friends, you know humor can really help. There's a lot of memes get shared. I think there's a lot of definite like social media posts of and unfortunately, I think the algorithm now serves like my husband, a lot of ADHD content because he has me and my son to to deal with and that, I think, helps where he's like oh, this is you, this is you, this is you.

Speaker 2 10:12

I mean let's talk about that for a second, because the whole Instagram TikTok gets a lot of slamming for self-diagnosis, but I'm not sure there's anything else that made has made me feel quite seen as what I've seen on social media and you have to take it in with a pinch of salt and take what's useful and leave what's not and work with a doctor and a psychologist and all of those things. I'm not saying it's a replacement, but there is nothing more validating. You don't want to go to the nhs website and just see a list of symptoms and then you know it's just so dry. It's not like the lived experience of some of the sort of anecdotes you shared with me yeah, there's a lot of grimness on the, uh, the clinical side.

Speaker 1 10:54

Clinical side and I do think social media and God bless the algorithm does feed you content. I know even within, like the fast brain women community, the the um, the sharing of memes, like. But there are just some that are so, so spot on and actually sometimes, when you don't have the words to really kind of communicate, or again that's something that you do that just feels so ludicrous to other people you can kind of just forward that and be like I'm not the only one.

Speaker 2 11:27

Or things that you didn't even think were weird, and then someone makes a meme about it. You're like doesn't everyone do that? And you're like no.

Speaker 1 11:35

But real aha moments. What was on? I shared with everyone the other week about um oversharing and that a lot of especially women with adhd overshare because they feel that that context will make them more digestible oh my god, we're in such danger.

Speaker 2 11:51

Is this going to be a career limiting podcast for me?

Community as the Ultimate Resource

Speaker 1 11:53

I think it might be okay so we've got quick fire questions, so we did want to get allegedly a spinny wheel, like we're at the fairground and we choose, choose the questions. However, we forgot, so I'm just going to ask you these questions. I want to see what your answers are. We'll get through them as quickly as possible.

Speaker 2 12:14

To the point I'm going to take in turns, though it's not all about me, okay.

Speaker 1 12:18

Tennis Question.

Speaker 2 12:19

Tennis Paddle is my new new thing, like everybody else in Dubai, like everybody else Pickleball I would.

Speaker 1 12:28

I think we need a wheel and like a stop stopwatch. I don't know. I feel like I want to like stop the clock.

Speaker 2 12:38

I think that would be helpful. It would keep us on track. That is such a great tip. Have you got one of those focus clocks? Anyway, we're already going on a tangent.

Speaker 1 12:42

Right, we need a clock for next one. Okay, my first question is what is your funniest ADHD Whoopsie.

Speaker 2 12:50

So I left a entire suitcase in Dubai when I was in Saudi Arabia and I needed those things because it wasn't just my belongings, it was also stuff for a workshop that I was supposed to be delivering that day.

Speaker 1 13:05

Nice yeah. How did that feel?

Speaker 2 13:09

Absolutely humiliating. I was pretty new to the job and I was so embarrassed and realized that that was not a normal thing to do.

Speaker 1 13:17

I feel we also need like a sound like whoopsie, like some kind of like home we can blow. Okay. Next question hey, my turn, your turn. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 2 13:28

We knew the interrupting was gonna happen how has ADHD influenced what you do for work?

Speaker 1 13:35

so I'm now in the stage that I categorically know what I can't do for work, and at the moment, that is dealing with clients. Um, so very much. I think my work is now going to be in the community. But in my healing journey, figuring out who I am authentically, figuring out what my values are I know it's all about community. I know that this needs to be fun and, having healed myself and qualified as a coach 2017, 2018, I now I'm putting that into practice. And it used to be. I used to work in mental wellness with safe space. It was like big and broad. Now it's like laser focused. I'm like cutting away the nonsense and again understanding my ADHD, hyper-focusing on my ADHD women, and that's what I'm going to be doing now.

Speaker 2 14:29

Long may that last. I hope so. That is a high hope.

Speaker 1 14:33

I hope so. Is this going to like come back to haunt me and say oh, remember you said you were going to do that thing. Yes, I do. Okay, remember when I said I was going to do that thing, hold me accountable. Okay, body double.

Speaker 2 14:46

All right, thank you, you got it, if I remember, take notes. Okay, give me your top ADHD resource or tool that has been a game changer okay, quick fire, I will say community, connecting to other women who are experiencing similar struggles, journeys, and that's why I'm so excited about this podcast to meet people similar but different than me, where we can learn from each other and grow yeah, it's like the whole thing, the whole like mental health world, and it's always that kind of that very campaignable line.

Speaker 2 15:23

It's like you're not alone it's so lonely when you first get diagnosed it's you know there is some individual work to be done, but the power of the, the group and the visibility is is such a gift, but that and that's the whole thing.

Speaker 1 15:36

I think you can say something, you can tell someone you're not alone, but actually to make them feel that is a completely different thing. So community 101 I turn again.

Speaker 2 15:49

Uh, what is an adhd myth, ad? What is an adhd myth that you would like to debunk?

Debunking ADHD Myths and Closing

Speaker 1 15:55

So I think that I really hate the fact that the clinical side, so the fact that it's like a diagnosis, it's a disorder, the D of ADHD. If we were with our ancestors back in cave times, we would have been so highly valued in our tribe, we would have been out there figuring out wheels, fire, we'd have been on high alert. We'd have been, you know, really the people holding together civilization because of our fast brains, so fast brains, adhd brains have always existed. However, the environment that we live in is completely different now. So, rather than being distracted and innovative and ideas and all of these things at once, we're expected to be on time and sit still and, you know, do all these other things.

Speaker 1 16:57

And it's so innovative in a different way right which then is so addictive to that dopamine seeking part of our brain that we're almost like rigged to fail unless we really can figure this out.

Speaker 1 17:14

Get on top of it, be aware of when we're falling into those traps, but also heavily advocate for the times when we know that the current day world is actually going to be working against us Again. Stupid things like being on time and sitting still, it's a construct. It is it very much is so. Yeah, that is something that I am very vocal about.

Speaker 2 17:42

This isn't a disorder. Do you know what I don't hate? The disorder word. Really vocal about this isn't a disorder. Do you know?

Speaker 1 17:46

I don't hate the disorder word really, yeah, um don't think it's like a negative negativity associated with that word.

Speaker 2 17:53

I think disorder is such a good word, specifically for ADHD, because there's so much disorder, um, and I don't. Yeah, I want to move away from this sort of ableist. Like disability is bad, and I know that that is not what you're saying at all, but, yeah, I don't want to shun that because, especially, like you say, in the in the modern world that we're living in, in a society that is designed for neurotypical, cis, white men, etc. There's just so many things that we can do to to um, improve that world for everybody and create accessibility. But until we bring society up to speed, until we get back to our ancestry, um, I think it's important to acknowledge that we're a bit of a round peg in a square hole yeah, and that's funny, that's so.

Speaker 1 18:40

This is essentially where the logo fast brain women came from, like the feeling of what it feels like to be that square peg trying to fit in something that is, yeah, expected, is rollercoastery, trippy, psychedelic, but I, I'm going to, I'm definitely going to take that concept of disorder, but I think.

Speaker 2 19:00

I think it's going to be a hot topic as we go through this series. Everybody has an opinion. Some people will believe that it's a superpower, some people will believe it's a disability, some people believe that actually, with a majority, there's going to be so much, and I think that's what's really interesting about this. Nobody has the answers. Everything's a perception. We're all just trying to figure it out.

Speaker 1 19:17

Yeah, so I'm really excited to find out who are the guests that are going to be coming on. So stay tuned and we will be joined by some amazing women from the middle east region who have adhd or adhd curious, and also maybe some experts. Shall we chuck that in along the way?

Speaker 2 19:34

absolutely okay, can't, can't just operate in an echo chamber, I think, yeah, we're looking forward to speak to people from all different backgrounds on the topic. Yeah, so what's your key reflection from today's discussion? What's your little nugget?

Speaker 1 19:46

I'm gonna take away that concept of disorder, because I think I had just settled myself that it was and there was a very negative connotation to it. But you're right like we're living a disordered life, but that's not bad, just is, it just is yeah, yeah. What about you?

Speaker 2 20:11

I asked that question and don't have an answer ready. I'm just curious about you, dani, I think. I just want to say I'm really excited. I think we've got some great guests lined up, like you said, and the diversity of thought that's going to come is going to be really cool. No-transcript.