Embracing Your Electric Blue Energy with Hibo Osman

Hibo Osman, a self-proclaimed ethnically ambiguous chaos coordinator, shares her journey of discovering and embracing her ADHD diagnosis while navigating professional life with sparkle, sleep hygiene, and self-compassion.

• Managing energy is crucial for ADHD brains – Hibo feels her emotions viscerally, visibly dimming when tired
• Sleep hygiene forms the foundation of Hibo's coping strategies including blackout curtains, no phones in the bedroom, and stopping caffeine at midday
• Childhood experiences of being unable to sit still and constantly being told to stop talking shaped Hibo's relationship with her "big energy"
• Learning to accept emotional dysregulation rather than fighting it – sometimes that means crying while walking with a weighted vest
• The "Hibo Hustle" combines authenticity and influence to navigate professional challenges
• Finding career paths that embrace rather than stifle your natural ADHD traits
• Using AI tools like ChatGPT to overcome blank page paralysis and boost productivity
• Meditation journey from failed two-minute attempts to a 10-day silent retreat
• Self-compassion as the ultimate goal – somewhere amid the fidgeting and noise, finding a way to love yourself

For more insights on managing ADHD, Hibo recommends "Self-Compassion" by Kristin Neff.

Transcript

Meeting Hibo: Ethnically Ambiguous Chaos Coordinator

Speaker 1 0:00

If I was my fully authentic dysregulated cuckoo, insane in the membrane, walking around, walking around the Springs Lake last night with a 10 kilogram weighted vest because apparently that's the thing I need to do now sobbing my heart out for an hour, massively emotionally dysregulated, exhausted, overwrought. Okay well, how did I get there?

Speaker 3 0:31

From kitchen dancing to meditation retreats. Hebo Osman is a self-proclaimed ethnically ambiguous chaos coordinator. She's a HR rebel and living proof that sparkle, sleep hygiene and self-compassion can actually coexist. Hi, and welcome back to Fast Brain Women, a podcast for women with ADHD by women with ADHD. Aka total chaos, completely winging it. Expect lots of interruptions and revelations. I'm your host, dani, and here we have Lorna with us too, and our amazing guest today, hippo. Welcome, thank you. So how are you here.

Speaker 1 1:10

I found myself on this podcast because Lorna and I have known each other for a very long time and I was recently labeled with ADHD and it was really funny because I uh, everyone I knew was like oh yeah, duh let me tell you about my first memories of Hebo.

Speaker 4 1:32

It's not bad, it's not bad, I wouldn't do that to you.

Speaker 4 1:34

So Hebo was at the time, um, looking after mass onboarding at the hospital that I was joining. So this was 2014 yeah, a few years ago now, and I do you know what? I'm having a revelation right now. I think you were one of the reasons that I eventually turned to HR, because I saw you love what you were doing. You brought such energy. The onboarding process really sets the tone for workplace culture, which is ultimately where I've ended up now, and you were just so memorable that energy you had, and it was Ramadan, so you would have been fasting, right yeah you brought it and, you know, probably powered by ADHD, but it's also what makes you part of, what makes you sparkle.

Speaker 4 2:16

It also weaves together into this beautiful story that is Hebo. So, yeah, you left a lasting impression on me and sorry to just like lay all that I know after this amount of time, we don't talk about these sort of first moments, do we? But yeah, thinking back to it, yeah, I guess it was kind of obvious because you were just shone so brightly.

Speaker 4 2:35

We gotta do that, right we do sparkle depends what day it is, I'm not sure I'm so. I mean, not everyone is going to be able to see me, but I'm wearing the glitter today. I often do that to, uh, yeah, rally myself. Yes, dopamine dressing.

Speaker 1 2:47

There's an episode that we can do one time, oh my god, I I could definitely participate in that uh, you know I joke at work saying that one day you're not going to be able to tell how I feel by how I'm dressed. But today's not that day, and often how I dress is a direct reflection of either how I'm feeling or how I'm trying to feel yes, yeah.

Speaker 4 3:07

So what does the blue represent for me?

Speaker 1 3:09

I'm feeling bright.

Speaker 4 3:14

Okay, uh, I'm feeling light, feeling a little electric, yeah, yeah, that's how I feel this color blue for anyone you can't see is sort of royal blue, would you say electric blue. I'm matching trousers. Show my trousers as well.

Speaker 2 3:28

I know the color blocking this is my power color when I want to feel powerful.

Speaker 1 3:34

This is the color I go to, okay uh, red is my power color and it's very obvious and people will know when I wear red I mean business yeah, I should do that with lipstick.

Speaker 3 3:45

That's like if I've got red lipstick on, like watch out, there's, there's gonna be stuff going down and today you've got a pinkish glass on.

Speaker 4 3:52

What does that say about your mood?

Speaker 3 3:54

that says that I left the house in a rush at 6 10 this morning and this was in my golf bag and that's what was available to me. So this is where I was. That was no dopamine. It was literally what was available to me. So this is where I was.

Speaker 4 4:04

That there was no dopamine, it was literally what was some days of survival, some days uh, I love that thrival, thrival. Yes, I was trying to rhyme. You sensed that. I love that. You tried to get me there.

Speaker 1 4:16

It's not getting me there survival and thrival yeah, so I'm quite intrigued.

Little Hibo: Childhood Signs of ADHD

Speaker 3 4:20

So this is like a recent revelation. So talk to me a little bit about like little hebo. Was there like any signs or anything you kind of remember from you know growing up, of what that, what that was like?

Speaker 1 4:34

oh, yes, that was actually the hardest part of the labeling, so to speak. I think as an adult I've been really lucky and we'll probably talk about all of the things I do to survive and thrive, but as a child I didn't have any of that stuff. I had life. I had my parents, who stuck up for me a lot with regards to some of the stuff I'm going to describe, and I also had just growing up as a, you know, ethnically ambiguous kid in sunny manchester and abu dhabi, um, and I had, actually I was really challenged at school. School was a very I mean, there's, if you repeat, read all of my report cards and I don't think they've changed, even now with some of the bosses I've had, which is hebo's great she has so much potential.

Speaker 1 5:24

But if only she would sit still, if only she would stop talking. And, um, I have a. I have a few stories. Some of them are quite sweet, some of them certainly it's weird. I remember once I got the label I had like a 24 hour kind of like a moment of like grieving for little Hebo. So there's two stories I'd like to tell.

Speaker 1 5:48

So there's the story of me at eight years old I've been, you know, it's eight, it's it's 1988, do the maths. So it's 1988 and my parents are have got four young children under the age of five, god bless, and they and the education system I suppose in the UAE at that time was probably considered not to be amazing. And I had my grandparents back in Manchester who were like, come, send Hiba to us. So I got sent off to a posh private school in Manchester and I spent two years there and I remember my mom saying that she got pulled into school one day because I'd gotten into trouble. I did exactly what you caught me doing then, which is rocking on my chair, and it turns out I dropped on my chair and it turns out I dropped on my chair so much I'd rubbed a hole in the linoleum the lino nobody says the lino anymore, do they?

Speaker 1 6:52

exactly the linoleum I can't even say it anymore the lino exactly. No, darling, it was a private school. We said linoleum, okay, um and uh. And I guess you know there's two parts to that story. The story that my mom tells is I told them that you were bored. You'd you know, you'd worked your way all through all the workbooks, you'd kind of excelled so far and you were bored. And the other part of it was them responding saying well, you know, she's done everything. She should just work at the pace of everybody else. So it was. It was really good to hear about my mom sticking up for me in that way. But it's also a little bit sad that this little hebo, who's just shining so bright, who's just that's, I mean that's how it feels sometimes oh god, yeah, this is this is it, this is it this is it.

Speaker 1 7:41

I live my life on a 1.75. That's that kind of yeah, and sometimes it's times two, but most of the time it's times 1.75. So that was a, that was a. That was kind of a cute story.

Speaker 1 7:52

But I remember really a sad story that really touches me now and it perhaps comes bring, comes up now when, when I'm kind of in my lower, lower self, I have a higher self and a lower self, um, so I come from a mixed background. I've got, um, somali, african, yemeni, arab and English white, so I've got all three all mixed together and this has somehow got to create a person that's navigating life. And I remember sitting with my very English grandmother and, um, she used to time me to sit still and I remember desperately, desperately, trying to sit still because it was only five minutes. I mean, even now it makes my skin crawl and I mean it makes me tear up a lot, because I think I was so young and I was so wanted to do it and it shouldn't have been so hard, but it was so hard to do and I never did it. So that's Little Hebo.

Speaker 1 8:47

So Little Hebo definitely needs a lot of love, um, but also I think I think my mom's hyperactive. She's always on the go, um, and I think that we just live in a very hyper family. There's always something on, there's always a speed, speed, speed, fast, fast, fast. Everything's always going on. Hyper family there's always something on, there's always speed, speed, speed, fast, fast, fast. Everything's always going on and there's 55 conversations all happening at the same time and I think I just didn't know anything else.

Speaker 1 9:11

Or I think because I had all the different experiences of being raised by lots of different people. You know I come from, you know a multi generational household, so you know there were lots of people involved in my upbringing. It wasn't like this little nuclear family family and it had lots of different influences. And I think I think, just generally as a girl, people don't expect you to be fidgety to this day. I'm fidgety. I think I could have done with perhaps, maybe being introduced to more sports when I was younger. That's definitely one of the necessary tools for my survival now as an adult, but I think as a child, I think if I'd been given access to like lots of physical activities, we did a lot of swimming, that helped a lot. But I mean, can you imagine swimming public baths?

Speaker 4 9:58

yeah, it's kind of grim on the bus we're all from sort of the same part of of the uk, so we we relate back to that very uh wet plaster flows here this has gone down a very dark hole that nobody wanted to explore, me included but I think that was the point, the point.

Energy Management and Sleep Hygiene

Speaker 1 10:24

I think I'm lucky that in the summers that's what we would do, but I think I could probably, if I look back. As a child, I needed an outlet for this energy and I didn't necessarily have one. Yeah, so, yeah, that's little hebo so these outlets?

Speaker 3 10:35

tell me a little bit about more about those like what are those outlets now?

Speaker 1 10:39

okay, so we'll talk about my very regimented life, shall we?

Speaker 4 10:44

you find that sometimes that people with adhd will be incredibly organized as a coping mechanism. It's like they have to structure their life to the nth degree, to yeah, okay, nebo.

Speaker 1 10:55

He was nodding wildly tell us more hebo, and it's not only just structure. The structure is one thing, but what happens when that structure falls apart is another thing altogether. We'll talk about that later, yeah, but let's talk about how it works. So what works is I create these habits and I do them a few days, weeks, months and months in a row, and I tend to just repeatedly do them. So there's a couple of things and it kind of all kind of came about naturally. I think I I first thing that happened to me is I realized that me and sleep, we, we are so like soulmates. Yeah, there is a re, there is a direct impact in how I move through my day and how I see myself in the world and how well I've slept. So I have a. I have an incredible amount of sleep hygiene. I I don't want to sleep with my phone in the room with me. I've got blackout curtains. I stop caffeine at midday. I um, what else do I do so much? I have a sleep jumper sleep jumper.

Speaker 1 11:57

Yeah, it's a jumper that I sleep in and it's, yeah, and it's very nice and soft and fuzzy and it feels really good. Um, and there's I mean there's loads of stuff that I do, but sleep hygiene is perhaps the foundations For me, I guess. Maybe this is the thing that I think is important to note. My feelings are visceral. They're not just thoughts in my head, they're feelings in my body. So when I am tired, it's obvious to everybody. Today is a perfect example. I example I was. I mean, I was working till late last night, didn't get to sleep till 11 o'clock this morning, set my alarm for 6 am, up by 5, 30 of course, and it's been a long day. So I hit a point, I hit a wall and people just looked at me, said, oh, you look tired. And I was like do I? It's like, yeah, and it's not that I look tired, I'm, it's like your energy's tired yeah, the light has dimmed uh it's. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 12:46

So I'm wearing electric blue. But is it really? It's more like sky blue. It's just kind of just the light dims and it's obvious to everybody and everybody notices it. So it wasn't just me, but people are noticing that light dimming so I've never heard I explained that.

Speaker 3 12:59

I think you have really kind of summed something up there about you know the, the transparency of. You know really the boundary almost between the brain, the thoughts, and the person that can you know. So she wears a heart on a sleeve, or what you see, is what you get. You know the people are describing you. It's just like I can't keep it inside yes, oh my god.

Speaker 1 13:22

Yes, yes, you know it's interesting and it's it's. I've been on a bit of a journey when it comes to energy, because I feel like, you know, people have always want my mom's been really good about it um, but people have always said to me hebo, your energy's big, you've got big energy you take, you know, and it's always been again, depending on how well I've slept and how well fed I am that, that, that relationship between how I see that and how I see myself yeah, I was gonna say is that a compliment or is that uh?

Speaker 1 13:52

okay. I'll give you a simple example. Like so, I've got my bright colors on right. So in the UK when I wear bright colors, like oh, you're looking bright today, so okay, and then it just becomes okay, well, you know, I guess bright colors are just not the dumb thing in manchester, you know, in the nhs, okay. So let's fast forward to me moving to malaysia and where I worked for a couple of years oh hebo, you've got some bright colors on today. Same words, completely different energy. So when people say to me oh hebo, you, you take up energy, you take up now I've heard referred to as you take up space and people love that I feel like you give energy your energy is a gift yeah

Speaker 4 14:37

and that might also be a responsibility sometimes that people are looking at you, expecting you to bring the energy, because you're always so energetic that, when you're not, people like where's?

Speaker 1 14:47

you hit the nail on the head, you're right. So you're right. I don't take up energy, but I definitely I give. Like there's this whole energy about me when I move into rooms and, um, I'm going off tangent, can I?

Speaker 3 15:00

make. This is what the whole thing's about. We're with energy.

Speaker 1 15:03

So let's talk about energy. So energy, like I said, my relationship to energy has been an interesting one. So you've got big energy. You've got big energy, um, and you know it was always like, oh, you need to.

Speaker 1 15:14

You know, you know, like that, that scene from friends where ross is like you know people want me to adjust it, attenuate it, um, and it became, and it became a very like there's something wrong with me. I'm not like other people. I need to be less, be less, be less. And I didn't. I don't understand what that means. I don't know how to be less, I just know how to be myself. But over time I've started to be comfortable with that energy and recognize that it is a gift and own it more. And I, what I found, happened once. Once I started to accept and you can even see it my body language, can't you? The shoulders go up, the neck goes up, and as soon as I start and the shoulders are a big part of it and as soon as I started to own that energy and accept it and respect it, it stopped becoming so erratic.

Speaker 4 16:05

Yeah, I feel like I'm having such a light bulb moment here because managing energy is now I think about it's such a constant theme for me. I don't have the dial turned up anywhere it's near. But you know people, yeah, I, I can come across as very bubbly, um, almost extroverted to a lot of people. People look at me but then you know, like a lot of what we call now ambiverts, you go away and you're like bloody hell. I need to recharge my batteries for two days.

Speaker 4 16:31

I think it takes me a bit longer than you and a bit, probably a bit more sleep, but it's a constant battle with energy to get through work to get through life and I think I work very hard at masking as well, and I think that's something beautiful about you is that the authenticity is there and I'm on that journey still and I think there's something in that UK culture where they expect you to be samey, fit in, don't stand out. Those were very much the messages I had and I'm unlearning that particularly. You know, I've been in the UA for 13 years. It's it's been increasing, but with the diagnosis of ADHD, I'm like, oh, that's why I feel different, and now I can embrace that as part of my identity and really embrace the ways of like dressing and stuff and even talking here on this podcast unfiltered, as much as possible. Um, yeah, energy management it's such a big thing. I mean, how does that resonate with you, dani? Well, I think if you're well.

Speaker 3 17:22

First of all, I think being different is or depends on how you grew up. It can just ostracize. I got bullied heavily. So then, when I think about being different and you know, straying and same same, you know I have vivid memories of how that really negatively impacted me.

Speaker 4 17:42

So, yes, similar on the authenticity journey it's also a survival mechanism, because the masking for me is also like making sure that I'm paying attention. So you know, I notice when I'm tired at work, going back to the sleep thing. If I'm tired, I'm finding it very hard to sit still and you know, listening meetings and things, and I'm like fighting myself. Like you were saying, you're really fighting so hard, that fight becomes so much harder. And those are the masking things that actually help us blend in a bit to society. So it's always hard to know how far to go with the unmasking, isn't it? Because some of these things you have to conform to the, you know, the society that isn't necessarily designed for us.

Speaker 3 18:20

I don't know, I'm feeling so rebellious at the moment that I literally don't care. Some days where I just deal with it people and I do. I think that's part of the problem, right, but wearing my heart on my sleeve, having a big energy like it, doesn't work for most employers, unfortunately. So we have to carve our path. We have to be rebellious and authentic because I don't think I've got another option, I've got no plan B at the moment.

Speaker 1 18:46

So I mean it's an interesting one. I think the masking one is an interesting one, isn't it? Because I don't know. I understand that the term has come about as a way to help people understand the two ways of being, but I think that all of us have to. You know, I suppose, being a person of color like in England, they talk, you know they talk a little bit about code switching.

Emotional Regulation and Authenticity

Speaker 1 19:12

So you know, you change according to who you're with, and I've had so many people get really shocked when they meet me because they think I'm going to be an old white lady. Well, now I'm just an old black lady. But you know, back in, when I was in my 20s, people would be really surprised because my voice and the way I speak doesn't always match how I appear. I feel like navigating this world with different ways of being can help, and it may be accepting the different ways of being instead of forcing yourself. Because I think sometimes if I was my fully authentic dysregulated cuckoo, insane in the membrane, walking around, walking around the springs lake last night with a 10 kilogram weighted vest because apparently that's the thing I need to do now sobbing my heart out for an hour, massively, emotionally dysregulated, exhausted um, overwrought, um and okay, well, how did I get there? Lots of different things happened to get me there, but I've stopped fighting that so much.

Speaker 4 20:22

It sounds like you're adding regulation by allowing yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions at a time that it fits Beautiful.

Speaker 1 20:32

Yes, yes, I accept that 100%. So, feeling that energy like, oh my gosh, I'm getting really upset. I'm getting really upset. I'm getting really upset. What I'm gonna do, you know wash my face. I prayed, I washed my teeth, put the weighted vest on, get out there. Okay, come back 11 o'clock, okay. So therapy. Lots of sounds there very few words, but I hope that it was clear about energy management and kind of that, really, and there wasn't.

Speaker 1 21:02

There wasn't any need for me to mask there, but there was definitely a need for me to recognize that I'm having an experience and there's there's times and places. So, okay, if anyone is walking around the springs and sees a lady and waiting, pretending to talk to pretending to talk on the phone but not actually talking on the techniques right here.

Speaker 3 21:21

You heard it first all the tips. However, in the board meeting, oh yes, and that was like one of my core work mishap memories taking something very personally about creative that was presented and just not being able to stop the tears, my boss being like you can't do that, that's not appropriate. I'm like, yeah, get you. I just I can't put them back in my eyes.

Speaker 4 21:49

Yeah, I can't tell you how many times I've cried in the wrong situations. I wasn't sure if that's just a personality type thing. Do you think that is linked to ADHD?

Speaker 3 21:59

you've got me thinking about this now I cry a lot, I cry multiple times a day um therapeutically, accidentally, on purposely, I will find like I don't know again.

Speaker 4 22:11

Adding on to that, like I will sometimes purposely watch horrific content like it's you getting out in a controlled environment, Like you're like I'm going to decide that this isn't going to come out in a boardroom. This is going to come out at a time that is convenient to me, so you're pushing that button. Oh, I love it. Got to get it out.

Speaker 3 22:28

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Speaker 1 23:26

So you know, I think it's interesting. I want to reflect a little bit on we're calling it corporate, but actually we'll call it professional life, because the first part of my life actually, I was a hospital pharmacist. So I was a very acceptable hospital pharmacist. Um, I really didn't enjoy it at all. Um, the what I enjoyed the most was interacting with people and I'm really lucky that my career took me in a way such that I was able to start teaching. I was like, oh my god, I found my thing.

Speaker 1 23:50

But the point I think about who I was and my personality through this journey, it's it's been. It took some time for me to find a role that worked for who I was and my personality. Through this journey, it's it's been. It took some time for me to find a role that worked for who I was. So moving into teaching was a very and then, once I found learning and development, I was like, oh, okay, so now this gives me an opportunity to do the two things that I think I'm quite good at. People will accept uh, uh, uh, a brightly shining lnd person more than I think they'll accept a brightly shining hospital pharmacist you're right, I think.

Speaker 3 24:27

I don't know if we've talked about this on another episode. But that concept of like again, you're at high school. You've got to choose what you want to be.

Speaker 1 24:33

When you grow up, you're like doctor don't even know who I am engineer, lawyer, teacher, nurse, accountant, you know these very uh groupies so this is, these are the tips I tell young girls. First of all, you know what you're doing well in school, good job, nobody cares. Nobody cares, mate. So you're back from your break on time and you didn't get any detention and you got all the top grades at school. You followed the rules. Yay the boys. Oh troublemakers, oh trouble. Oh, they don't sit still, do they?

Speaker 1 25:08

oh, you know what boys are like yeah you know, but oh, we've come to the workplace. And who's doing better than the girls, the boys? Why is that?

Speaker 1 25:20

Because they're troublemakers. Whatever kind of social construct, whatever rules there are in the workplace about how you behave, girls work really hard to follow them, and they're expected to. But if men want to talk over each other in meetings, no problem. If women do it, oh oh, she's a bit aggressive, isn't she? So there's all of these behaviors that I encourage young girls to understand, that they put all this pressure on themselves to get it right. But you know what? You've got plenty of chances to get it right so you get it wrong this time there'll be another time.

Speaker 1 25:54

That resilience is is perhaps one of the like, most important skills that I think I learned really early was just to keep. I constantly fail. I tell people this all the time. They look at me and they're like, oh, but you're, but you're so confident. I'm like, yeah, because I've messed up a lot and I'm still here.

Speaker 4 26:16

Tell me about the clearing thing, because you were clearly very gifted. You know that was coming through. You were finishing your work early. And then clearing is normally when you don't get the grades that you want for the university that you go to.

Speaker 1 26:26

Oh, she's caught me out Busted.

Speaker 4 26:28

Busted.

Speaker 1 26:30

I did very. I was a very average student in terms of my grades I a, b and two c's in my a levels. For people I don't even know what that the equivalent of that nowadays is, but being to use two c's is not going to get you into pharmacy but combine that with a bit of sparkle.

Speaker 1 26:51

I mean it wasn't that naughty really, if you look at it on. You know 14 year olds get pregnant in bolton. You know like, you know 14 year old hebo, you know reading bills and boons in the toilets because she was boarding in class.

Speaker 1 27:02

Oh I was bored A very different story. So, yeah, so as a result, I just would rally in the few weeks or months and I rallied hard and I was able to get the same kind of grades of people that perhaps didn't have to really created more structure around their life. So those grades that I got were the grades that I got because I rallied hard for two weeks before the a-level exams. Um, and I got on the phone with the recruit, the, the admissions tutor. I was like here's what we're going to do, here's my choices.

Speaker 1 27:33

I can come in and do I did like some pharmacy sciences not the same thing. I can come in and do I did like some pharmacy sciences not the same thing. I can come and do this. Or I can take a year off and reset my A levels, or I can take a year off and go on a gap year and go to Somaliland, to East Africa, where my father's from have a whole bunch of life lessons, and come back and do pharmacy. He said you take that year off, see you in a year and in a year and that was a really transitional point for me that going to somaliland and that's a whole other story, maybe when you do a session on multi-ethnic.

Speaker 1 28:03

I think we're ethnically ambiguous, culturally confused women. We can talk about that one, uh. But coming back to the point of clearing yeah so, and by the way, that's been the theme for me throughout my childhood like just being able to. They call okay, they call it the hebo hustle. Okay, my family have branded it as the hebo hustle.

Speaker 1 28:21

We need to trademark that yeah, yeah, fantastic yeah and it's, and it feels really I can you see me? I've gone small, haven't I? Yeah, I've gone small. The hebo hustle sounds like um, yeah, it's just when I. I just oh, I've lost it.

Speaker 3 28:39

I don't have words for it so I'm pulling it out the bag yeah, it's, it's I'm able to.

Speaker 1 28:44

And then I say this because I think I'm hesitating, because my saboteur is saying, oh, is it manipulation? But it genuinely isn't. I really like people, I like talking to them, I think they're interesting, they're fascinating, and because I like people and it's genuine, I'm often able to have things happen you're influential yes, influence yes, the original influencer who doesn't use. Instagram. No, I'm not on social media. A little bit LinkedIn here and there, but no social media for me.

Speaker 4 29:16

I'm so glad you did, because I don't know if we'd stayed in touch had we not had.

The Hibo Hustle and Career Navigation

Speaker 1 29:19

LinkedIn True story True story I like LinkedIn. I like it. Yeah, you're not a LinkedIn fan are you?

Speaker 3 29:25

I do because it's expected of me, but maybe that's why who's expecting it of you. I don't know. I just think it's one of those things that if you are or a person doing stuff, that that's where you've got to put it. Can we talk about this? Yeah?

Speaker 1 29:38

Because I use LinkedIn in a very different way. I think to maybe people expect me to so sticking with the theme of authenticity, and we're going to use that in a positive manner. I have a different view of authenticity sometimes, but when it comes to being authentic, for me, the reason I'm not on social media is because my intentions get blurry. So you know, there's a, an Arabic phrase that says which means that your actions are judged and rewarded by their intentions. So I have a couple of rules around the way that I present information. So, first of all, what I'm not going to do is I'm not going to tell you how great everything is. Okay. That's definitely not what I'm going to. I'm not going to do, but I am going to try to show that even when things are really bad, there's learning from it.

Speaker 1 30:28

So I often use my LinkedIn posts as an opportunity to process difficulties or challenges that I'm facing. Is Hibo navigating this challenge and what could help other people do that? So what's the challenge could be anything from conversations to ways of working, to whatever. How is Hibo navigating it? I give some kind of insights about things, and then I might reference a book because, despite my ADHD, I'd love to read um or um an article that I've read and it's been working out quite well.

Speaker 3 30:58

I think the yeah, there's just so much that distracts me. On linkedin, people are very proud to announce oh yes, golden visa holder. Sorry, they don't do that so much anymore.

Speaker 1 31:11

you might have to cut that, but it used to be a thing that people would put on their LinkedIn, right? Yeah, I mean I got a couple of my qualifications and accreditations on there.

Speaker 4 31:22

I mean well-deserved, and it's all about taking up the space that you have quite rightly earned. So yeah, own it. But golden visa holder is not. It was issued originally as a recognition for contributions to the country, whereas now it's do you earn enough?

Speaker 3 31:38

Or have you got enough patience to go through the process? Yeah, so yeah, my gosh, my husband's just been through.

Speaker 4 31:44

It's taken like 18 months. Yeah, sounds about right. Um, yeah, as we say about that, the better. That's moving swiftly on anyway, fast-paced women yeah this is where. This is where we're at we're gonna have to bring it into land, girls. What's the topic? I'll tell you what the topic is. Yes, in the true spirit of just taking it all over the place, the ai piece.

Speaker 1 32:03

That was another piece that was inspired by as we came in talking about managing. You're both using ai to live, yeah okay, human plus, ai ai assisted from my head to my toe yes, technology assisted, but now ai very much so tell me more.

Speaker 4 32:23

Let's make this practical. I need okay.

Speaker 1 32:26

So if I were to talk about, uh, charlie, as I call, my chat gpt account, um, which is interesting because I don't use um siri, um, I say too much, I don't want her to listen to me, but chat GPT, I have a paid account and I have multiple projects. Can I list to you some of the projects? Please do.

Speaker 1 32:46

One is physical health. I've got my AI-assisted therapy and I talk to my therapist about it, so I go to therapy. I've been going to therapy nearly every week for nearly two years now. I'll, I'll, I'll be like the instructions on this project are act as an expert in this, help me see what works for me and help me identify what the positive aspects you know and I'll put in some instructions. Okay, great, and then I'll come and that's me dysregulated and then I'll and then I'll come.

Speaker 1 33:24

I do have words, I know words, I have words. But sometimes the sounds work. So then I come back to it when I'm not dysregulated and I look back at it and it's just so, oh, she speaks to me really nicely.

Speaker 3 33:39

Yeah, I think a bit clarity just helps, I think in the noises, whatever's kind of going on just to kind of throw things out, and I do find it's a lot more so before I would like journal, I would write things down and now I can speak into it, which I really like, and I can type into it and just the organization, organization. I think that's that how.

Speaker 1 34:01

What ai has done for me is that it's ramped up my productivity to the next level.

Speaker 1 34:05

Now what its content isn't perfect and there's a lot of work that needs to be done to make it make sense, but it gives me something to start to work with and then I take it from there and then I go and work on it and it's so it's done. The time it would have taken oh my gosh, this is like I feel this really strongly. I feel this really strongly, my body's in it the time it would have taken. So I'll give you an example. I was working on a presentation last night. Um, and honest to god, if I had left my own devices, it would have taken me two weeks. I just didn't have the two weeks to do it, so I just sat down. And please, I want to just add what did I do to sit down? So I sat down and I took my bacopa, I took my mushrooms main, I listened to my white noise, I had my decaffeinated coffee, I had my water with my electrolytes there you're so pure.

Speaker 4 34:54

You're making me sick right now.

Speaker 1 34:55

Honestly, these are all the things that hold up hold me up, and without one of them, the whole thing collapses I did, I did all of these things and I put my phone and I've got this app, this, this thing called brick. I mean, god, I should, I should write, I should you could do a whole list of all these things that I do to be able to just get through it.

AI Tools for ADHD Productivity

Speaker 1 35:14

I see a book coming soon, 101 ways to live like hebo anyway, I got it done within an hour and a half, the kind of stuff that just to just. It wasn't perfect and that's okay, but I had something on a piece of paper on the screen that I can now work with by myself.

Speaker 3 35:39

Oh my god yeah, it's that starting point. Sometimes, like again the blank page, itis a bit just like looking at you and the guilt and the shame and yes, all the shame and then it just gives you those like starting blocks.

Speaker 4 35:53

Highly recommend five stars yeah, the way I'm using it right now. I'm be honest, I'm using the free account, okay so it's just like a list of different conversations, generally work related, but it sounds like you can organize things into projects and like the paid version might be. I'm always like this oh, new journal will change.

Speaker 1 36:08

My life is going to be I think I think you can even do it with a, with an unpaid account, I think it's it's really advanced. But I think the point is like you said, it gives you something to work with.

Speaker 3 36:21

Yeah, it's another crutch. It's another you know tool. I nearly use crutch and I stop myself Because it's a bad thing.

Speaker 1 36:28

I feel like crutch, oh you know. But like, let's find an empowering word.

Speaker 3 36:33

It's a leg of a tripod.

Speaker 4 36:39

Yes word. It's a leg of a tripod, yes, leg of the yeah of a stool. It's one of the I don't know. Well, I mean this comes into the whole conversation about is adhd a disability or not, and is disability a bad thing in the first instance?

Speaker 4 36:46

therefore, crutches are make life accessible for people okay, so we're going sort of full circle here into conversations that we've had before, but it is a very broad spectrum. Some people I'm not going to say it, oh my god, I don't think we've had before, but it is a very broad spectrum. Some people, I'm not going to say it, oh my god. I don't think we've got through a single episode without ever saying we hate the phrase adhd is a superpower because it's so one-dimensional but it is technically so.

Speaker 3 37:09

Adhd is classified on the person person of determination um application check yeah so it is on there. However, and I was going through the process purely out of curiosity my adhd wouldn't qualify, so I just I just found that fascinating. So it's like, well, you know, because I'm a, I can function with it. Oh, like what? What does that look like? Um?

Speaker 4 37:43

low support needs is what they would say. Yes, and that's the phrase that they're embodying in the autistic community as well. You know they're moving away from the asperge isn't going to low support needs, and I think that's probably where you're at if you're able to hold down a job, and it's the same with a lot of mental health issues as well. Right, you're like oh, you're high functioning now. So like you're not a problem to society, like you crack on and just keep that struggle internal and you'll be, it'll be fine so it's a very like wish, like gray it is because we don't need our own aisle at the supermarket, right it's.

Speaker 4 38:13

And I think this is where we come to like. Everything's a spectrum and there's some people who will be crippled in certain scenarios where others might thrive.

Speaker 1 38:20

But that's the beauty of diversity yeah, and I I think I think one of the lessons for me through all of this has been um identifying this hyperactive nature that I've got as being being well. It's weird because you'll notice I use the word label and not diagnose. That was one thing that I'm. I think language matters, so I love that you called us out about.

Speaker 3 38:45

Do you think that's also because you come from a slightly medical background as well?

Speaker 1 38:49

Oh yeah, interesting Perhaps. Yeah, I'll take it, but you know what I mean. Yes, and my challenge with the health care as a whole is that you know, health is seen as a problem to be solved, as opposed to something to being yes yeah, so that's.

Speaker 1 39:09

I think it's about seeing kind of this, this, this, this experience, as being not a problem to be solved, but as a thing to excel in and to thrive in and to grow in. And that's what the so-called label gave me. It gave me an understanding of something that I've always known, that everybody around me always knew they're like duh. There was no surprises. Um, I did seek some validation. I spoke to some people about it and they were just looking at me and like Hebo this is their words. Were he hebo, this is what's made you so special this whole time. This is why we love working with you. This is what's so important about how you move through the world.

Speaker 4 39:43

So you have a label for it I almost, I did say that earlier and then I I stopped myself because when I was like your adhd makes you special, and then I was like, oh, I wish I hadn't said that, because you are special and we'll never know how much of that is because your brain is you know you're a first-brain woman and who you are as a person and it's like where does that journey?

Speaker 4 40:05

And I think that was part of my understanding of myself as I went through the diagnosis as well, like what part of me is a commonality that is shared by other women with ADHD and what is uniquely Lorna? And that line became very blurry. Oh, that's a yeah Ending things on a deep note there.

Speaker 1 40:22

Yeah, that's an intellectual one, isn't it really?

Speaker 4 40:24

Yeah any final words of wisdom that you would love to share with our fast brained or potentially fast brained audience?

Speaker 1 40:30

You know what I read this really good book called Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. And I say it because I think that book before all the fast brain stuff came up and the ADHD and all that stuff that book gave me insight into something that I struggled with for a very long time, which is being kind to myself. So I think the only piece of advice well, I've got lots of piece of advice but the closing piece of advice I have is about this journey to self-compassion.

Speaker 1 41:05

about this journey to self-compassion because once you can and I say this because I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it and it's somehow through all of this, through all of the like, the fidgeting and the noise in your head and the all the time, that somewhere in all of this, if you can somehow love yourself. And there's so many like, little like I mean I'm using the word sound bites because the word escapes me now but there's little moments from that book which has had me just going, stopping and just going somehow find your way to self-compassion.

Speaker 4 41:43

Okay, that sounds super inspiring. I'd love to get that record. Oh, it's so good. I wanted to add the meditation piece.

Speaker 1 41:49

I think meditation is a really important thing.

Speaker 4 41:51

So you're a meditation coach.

Speaker 3 41:53

Meditation WTF.

Speaker 1 41:57

Let me tell you about me and meditation. Okay, people get really shocked when they hear that meditation's my jam. It started with a two minute timer that I failed every single time. How would you put yourself through that? So the meditation was like I attended some, some workshop or some session and somebody talked about stillness and taking time to think and I was like what time Boring it was. My. I'd never even thought of it, it.

Self-Compassion and Meditation Journey

Speaker 4 42:25

I never thought about the fact that you can give yourself time to think I see maybe I've got the wrong definition, because I see meditation is trying to clear your mind of thoughts. So oh, here we go, we're getting an education, danny.

Speaker 1 42:35

Yes, buckle up. So. And so it was less about the thinking, it was more about the time, this idea that you have this space in your life, whatever it looks like. However, I mean, at that time I didn't know anything, I just attended this talk and apparently people need time to think, which means a time when they're not doing anything. So I was like what's that? So she you know this woman talked about it and I was like, all right, I'm going to set myself a two minute timer. Now I do pray five times a day.

Speaker 1 43:03

So I was unknowingly habit stacking. So I thought, right at the end of each prayer which you know, confession, sometimes it's just Assalamualaikum, assalamualaikum, I'm done. But on those days, on the days I would just set a timer next to my prayer mat and be like, right, I'll just set a two minute timer for a year, could not get past the two minutes, I couldn't breathe and I was just kind of fidgeting and my nose would itch and blah, blah, blah. So then I, fortunately, life sent me a teacher. So I'm probably over 10 years in and it's been agonizingly slow, agonizingly slow. Peak was going on the 10 day vipassana. Now I need to say something about people's reactions to me when I said that I did a 10 day 10 day silent retreat and then, yeah, I can imagine how that would feel and is that how you react?

Speaker 4 43:56

yeah, how rude for the audience. I was just saying that to play the role. I was acting up a little bit.

Speaker 1 44:05

But we know people who really loved me never said that. People who knew me and loved me knew that when I get this thing in my head, there's nothing that I can't do.

Speaker 4 44:18

Oh, I love a good challenge yeah.

Speaker 1 44:23

But people that didn't know me, that knew the superficial happy bubbly oh, hebo was always on this high all the time. I'm going to be with her because I'm going to suck all of our energy that version of Hebo Um, they were like oh, you're not gonna be able to sit still for 10 days.

Speaker 4 44:32

So the 10 days see you as a caricature sometimes, I think, and like that's such one dimensional view yeah.

Speaker 1 44:39

Yes, I love that. So the Vipassana 10-day retreat was, uh was another peak in my journey. It's slow, it's progressive and it's just building this muscle of being able to observe yourself, and once I learned to observe my, as I've learned to observe myself, I've learned to be able to observe what works and doesn't work, which has allowed me to introduce all of these things so just noticing more self-awareness so now, how do I meditate? I'm a naughty meditator. I meditate randomly and infrequently in lots of different ways, that's a troublemaker, isn't it?

Speaker 1 45:14

yeah, but there's lots of different ways of meditating, but using meditation as a tool for self-awareness is my closing tip.

Speaker 4 45:21

I'm done woohoo, it's a good one, thank you so? Much I like it. I've doubled in a bit of meditation, but you've inspired me to bring it back into my life bring it back exactly you don't need the outro for this episode.

Speaker 3 45:34

That was fantastic, and we have a singer in the room. Well, thank you so much. You're very welcome, amazing. So thank you for tuning in to today's episode. We will be back next week with another fast brain woman and if there's any topics that you'd like to see, please do let us know any people that you'd like to recommend. We are always open. And thanks for listening. And that's a wrap. Thanks for hanging out with us today. Before you dive back into the chaos, we've got a five minute relaxing end, all soundscape, to help you reset, unwind or just stare into space guilt-free. If you love this episode, it would mean the absolute world to us and also ease our rejection sensitivity. If you hit subscribe, share it with a fast brain friend or, if you loved it, leave us a quick review, take a breath, stay wild and enjoy no-transcript. So so Thank you.