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Cliterature the Podcast
Books. Babes. Bold opinions. A queer lit podcast.
Cliterature the Podcast
Pumpkin Spice & Poltergeist
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This month's episode is sponsored by ADHD tangents... We went down so many rabbit holes while talking about Pumpkin Spice & Poltergeist by Ali K Mulford and K. Elle Morrison but all of them had the same undercurrent: MAGIC. This book is a cozy, sapphic read that ushered in all the fall feelings that we were looking for and so much more. A town that gives us Gilmore Girls/Halloweentown vibes with vampires and monsters, and witches (OH MY!), was just what the Cliterature doctors ordered and we couldn't have been happier with the choice! Join us for the chaos, if you dare.
Some tangents include but are not limited to: Practical Magic, Nicole Kidman in corsets i.e. Moulin Rouge, Olivia Newton John, Ocean's 8, and Stockard Channing is the bad girl version of Jean Smart.
There were many productive, rational ways to use my magic. Summoning the ghost of my ex-girlfriend on the anniversary of our breakup wasn't one of them. Yet here I was, drunk at 3 a.m. in a circle of salt.
SPEAKER_00Queer lit, no chill. Some crumbs of academia, mostly chaos. If queer lit is your love language, we're fluent. Listen up, babes. We're not here to tease. We spill everything. Listener discretion is strongly encouraged, but honestly, you knew that. Welcome to Cliterature the Podcast.
SPEAKER_01Hey, season two, episode two. Here we are. Here we are. We're talking about this month's book, which was Pumpkin Spice and Poltergeist.
SPEAKER_00Cute little cozy. Sapphic reading. Yeah, it was fantastic. It's for spooky. Written by two authors, which I love. We're revisiting a co-author situation like Time War. Allie K. Mulford and KL Morrison. Which on the website it says co-authors and platonic soulmates writing cozy sapphic romance and occasionally fluffy haired by men.
SPEAKER_01I'm here for every bit of that.
SPEAKER_00That whole sentence. 100%. I know. I haven't been introduced to the fluffy haired by men yet, but I'm I'm right.
SPEAKER_01I'm hoping it's who I think it is. And so this is book one in a cute little trilogy. Right. Maple Hollow is a talent. Think like Buffy Hellmouth meets Gilmore girls.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I kept imagining Boston-Salem vibes, but Halloween town for adults. Yeah. You know, because it was like monsters walking around.
SPEAKER_01Legit monsters. And it they're in broad daylight because people think that it's just a bunch of people in costumes. Right. It's a tourism town. It's a tourist town. It's like one of those Christmas towns, but for Halloween and spooky season. Which sounds awesome. Yeah, sign me up. Take me there. Take all my money. I want Mayor Billy, the big giant Frankenstein guy, to serve me some ice cream at the midnight market. Super quick synopsis because this book is all of like 200 and some odd pages long.
SPEAKER_00She's a shorty, but a good one Amazon, which was super cute, it says a witch accidentally conjures her ex-girlfriend's ghost, complicating her love life and leading to paranormal adventures with a new girl in town.
SPEAKER_01Can you imagine going on a first date with the ghost of your ex-girlfriend?
SPEAKER_00I mean, if I had to. Well, listen, I no. No. Short answer. No. No, absolutely not. I can't. I can't imagine it. It does not sound like a good time. Right.
SPEAKER_01There you are, you know, you're having a great night, getting hot and heavy with the little sister of the town Barista. Yeah. And there's your ex-girlfriend just chilling in the corner in your shirt that she died in.
SPEAKER_00Which is insane. That part was so funny to me. Okay, so Jordan, one of the main characters, is a witch. She's in this cute little coven. She owns an apothecary in town. It sounds absolutely iris. Yes. Adorable witches. So in the very beginning, when Dee read our opener, she conjures this girlfriend.
SPEAKER_01She gets drunk and she conjures Lou, her ex-girlfriend, to get some closure. Because we all need closure as women. Because who doesn't? Yeah. Honestly. I mean, really. She needed closure because she died before they could get to the city.
SPEAKER_00They broke up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Jordan broke up with her. And then, like, not long after that, Lou dies in a car crash. Yeah. Sad. Sad. And Jordan still had some things she needed to talk about. And so she just get drinks a whole bottle of wine, calls Lou back.
SPEAKER_00And I mean, if you had the option, I feel like I would do that too. And it's like not the first time that she's conjured snow. She's like, oh, this isn't the first time that I've Yeah, I do this. This is the first rodeo, but it is my first ex-girlfriend that I've conjured.
SPEAKER_01So And it didn't go as planned because Lou wouldn't leave. Lou but and it wasn't like she didn't want to leave. She just like couldn't leave. She couldn't leave. It was the whole like unfinished business thing. Yeah. And they assumed that it was because Jordan hadn't moved on.
SPEAKER_00Right. Because in her little conjuring spiel, she said, help me move on. Right. Not meaning like fit, like help actually help me move on. Yeah. But you know, I don't know. I guess the words are subjective in the spirit world. Sure. I feel like you gotta be real specific.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Any gray area is gonna get exploited. Yeah. Like it did in this one. Yeah. So Lou's like, all right, we gotta help you move on. Let's go get you a date. You gotta go on a date. Yeah. Gotta go on date. And then immediately burst into the apothecary. Harlow, the new girl in town, cute sister of the local coffee shop owner. Right, Willow. Willow.
SPEAKER_00She's down on her luck. And she's one of those characters that are like, yeah, she's like, I'm a fuck up. I fuck everything up. And you know, I mess this up and I mess that up. And like I there's no way I was moving back in with our parents. So I called Willow and she asked her if she would let me lift her.
SPEAKER_01She's had like every job and she's moved around and all these things. And so she's ended up sleeping in the stock room at the witch's brew cafe and bursts into the apothecary. I mean, it was one of those, like, I felt like there were sparks from the moment. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, you do get alternate perspectives. And so it'll be like a Jordan chapter and then a Harlow chapter. And every time you have a Harlow chapter, Harlow's like, holy fucking shit, this witch is the hottest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And she gives off queer vibes, and I don't even know if she's queer, and like, I don't know, like all this stuff. So the whole time you know that Harlow is like geeking out. But then if you get Jordan's perspective, she's there with her ghost ex girlfriend who's like, go do it. Go, go ask her out, ask her out. And then she's trying to like not look like an insane person, talking to no one.
SPEAKER_01I think Harlow at one point describes Jordan as like if an Oxford professor and a chapstick lesbian had a baby. And I was like, hot. Hot. That's hot.
SPEAKER_00Anytime professor vibes.
SPEAKER_01Oh, we we covered this in March the Fair. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Give me, give me, honestly. So I'm here for it. But honestly, in my mind, she was not a professor. Like, I don't know. Like, I just imagined like a lot of black lace and like long hair.
SPEAKER_01Was picturing like most of the cast of the craft. And the like dresses with like the combat boots, which is what they talked about her wearing a lot. Like, I honestly just like she could have been an extra in the craft and it felt like that. We are the weirdos. Yeah. We are the weirdos, Mister. Absolutely. But I was here for it. Their chemistry was really cute. I liked it. And this book moves fast. It had to, because it was 200 and some odd pages. It was super short, yeah.
SPEAKER_00The audiobook was maybe five hours. It might have been more than that, but it was really, really short.
SPEAKER_01Really short. But quickly they realized that maybe the accident, the car accident that Lou died in might not have been such an accident.
SPEAKER_00Right. And because Lou was sober.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And when they found her car and her crashed in it, it smelled like alcohol. Right.
SPEAKER_01And they're like, Lou's like, I wouldn't be drinking. I there's no way away.
SPEAKER_00But she couldn't remember the day that she died. Exactly. Or how she died or any of that. So they were like, well, we'll figure it out.
SPEAKER_01And on top of like she's meeting this hot witch and getting drawn into this investigation, she doesn't know. Harlow doesn't know that Lou's ghost is there, basically. Right.
SPEAKER_00She's just been introduced to the fact that witches are real, that all of these because Willow's like, no, it's all real. Don't be weird. Be cool about it. Figure it out. Vampires are weird.
SPEAKER_01By the way, all the monsters from your childhood are actually living in this town inside of this coffee shop right now. Coffee to them for two days now. And the guy have a crush on that brings the pastries in the morning. He's aware. He's a werewolf.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I thought it was so funny that they described him as a golden retriever because he's a werewolf. Accurate, right? He did give off dog vibes, but in the best way. In the best way. He's so cute. I loved Lyon.
SPEAKER_01I did too. He was so terrified of Willow, too. He's like, I can't make her mad. We should ask her for a permission for all the things.
SPEAKER_00Also, he there was like one point where she was sick. Willow was sick, and we find out later that she wasn't actually sick. She was poisoned. But spoiler. Super early spoiler. Um, she doesn't die, so it's fine. Everything's happy in this book-ish. But why it was like, oh, she's sick. I can smell it from like downstairs. And Harlow is like, You what? What? You smell it? And she was like, she like does a pit check and like sniffs her armpit. She's like, if you can smell Willow all the way upstairs, what are you smelling on me right now? And he was like, No, I'm attuned to her scent. And I was like, Oh my god, why am I feeling like Jacob and Renezme vibes right now? Like, why? Like he's imprinted on her, obviously, and he can smell her from like feet away. So fucking weird. But also, at least he wasn't like, she's not a child, right? She she's not a fetus. You know what I mean? She's a full-grown woman. Were you team Edward or team Jacob? It was Team Nobody. You didn't read Twilight?
SPEAKER_01I did. I read it. I was like, this is so the character of Bella makes me want to staple things to my forehead.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Swear to God. New Moon could just not exist at all, and I would be so happy.
SPEAKER_01The moldy dish rag was a human being.
SPEAKER_00Is it because okay? But is that the book character or is it Bella Swan as Kristen Stewart?
SPEAKER_01It was it was Kristen Stewart obviously enhanced these feelings for me. But even reading the books, I was just like, this bitch.
SPEAKER_00Like I literally could not handle New Moon. It took me so long to get through the second book because it was like fall, Bella cries. Summer, Bella's still crying. And then winter, she pulls off the side of the road and she cries in her truck. And I'm like, she's crying the whole fucking book. And I understand she's heartbroken. I get it. But like, come on. I I hate it. I hated it. But I was Team Rosalie because I always thought she was super hot.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I was Team. What was the other sister's name? Alice. Yeah, I was Team Alice. I actually really wanted like an Alice and Jasper spinoff. When did this become a Twilight?
SPEAKER_00Because Wyatt could smell her up the wall, up the stairs. Listen, it it gave Jacob and Renesse may vibes.
SPEAKER_01It did give Jacob. I could, I could see.
SPEAKER_00And then it was like there was this whole like obscure, very short passage where Jordan was like, oh, he's gonna be the pack leader one day, and there's all kinds of responsibilities on his shoulders. And I'm like, can he not marry her because she is a human?
SPEAKER_01And is it very they are okay with humans, but also they don't want to have given me like True Blood, the werewolves from True Bloods at that point. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, I I do I love that this book was very inspired by like every kind of yeah, because I was like charmed dating demons and half demons. Because there's demons there too. Uh-huh. Super funny. Let me tell you, Ramona, the demon. Listen, I named my little Jeep Liberty Ramona Jeepsky. And so I love the name Ramona, and I it's just it's a hot name.
SPEAKER_01This demon in like a power suit, I'd sell my soul. What there was a quote about demons give off finance bro vibes.
SPEAKER_00I'm here for it. Like I and then also she was like striking deals left and right, trying to like snatch souls. Oh, yeah. And then Iris, though, she's like, I just want a date. I just want to go on a date. And Iris is like just a deer in headlights. Yeah, she's like, okay. And I did listen to this book, and so Ramona's voice was very distinct, and it was very like to me headed. Very deep, or like this narrator did it as a lot of brimstone in that voice. Yeah, she's like, You've got one year.
SPEAKER_01So to set a date. And I was like, okay. Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't looked into the series, book two, very Ramona heavy. I I've read it, highly recommend. I haven't read the third one, which is um Lichens and Lattes and Lattes.
SPEAKER_00And that is Willow and Wyatt, the werewolf, and Harlow's sister who owns the coffee. And so I'm kind of Curses and Cold Brew, and that is Iris and Demon.
SPEAKER_01So if you're interested in the demons part of this story, the demon spice, it be spicing, I'll tell you that much. I haven't read the second one. You need to do it. I'm telling you, it's good. Read the whole series. So back to what we were talking about. I did think to like Harlow's credit, she kind of accepted all of this supernatural stuff.
SPEAKER_00I mean, uh, what do you what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? You're gonna be like, no, that's not, I'm just gonna begin like. Like, what are you gonna do? Yeah, no, and like so. If Willow's cool with it and she's a human, like, okay, I'm not gonna go live with my parents, so cool. I guess it's serving coffee to vampires.
SPEAKER_01Love it. Let's go. Just no nutmeg. Just no nutmeg. And yeah, she does have a couple screw-ups, yeah. And but they're also just like kind of innocent. She wasn't trying to do any harm, but I kind of get the screw-up vibe where it comes from with her. Yeah. Um, I did feel like sometimes uh Willow's reaction was a little over the top.
SPEAKER_00I do think uh but everybody talks about Willow in the town as not a control freak, but she's like perfectionist. And because she is a human in a town full of she's gotta prove herself a lot. Yeah, and and there was even like an under an undercurrent of monsters versus humans.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, at some at one point they allude to there's some monster dealings and talks of trying to push the humans out of the town.
SPEAKER_00Because they don't belong there, right? Which is really silly.
SPEAKER_01I mean, this is set up, this town is set up to be kind of a safe space for all these paranormal beings to kind of be able to be themselves to an extent.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, there's swamp monsters and werewolves and vampires and demons.
SPEAKER_01Myrrh people in the lake and things.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's like don't hang your feet down.
SPEAKER_01There's a haunted, like a legit haunted forest. Yeah. That's not a joke. It's a haunted forest that you shouldn't go into at night. And so I do see where Willow needed to prove herself, but also I think in her interactions with Harlow at times it felt a little harsh to me. Right.
SPEAKER_00I think that she thought that the scales were way more easily tipped than they were in reality. And so her senses were heightened and she was angry immediately anytime anything changed. And that's because she was doing it all on her own. Yeah. And I understand that because I'm a control freak. And if I No, not in every way, I have extreme ADHD. And so most of the time I just let whatever shit fly. It can't, you know, I can't be bothered. You know what I mean? I can't be awesome. But in like in certain things, I'm like, no, it's mine, don't touch it. I love it. I do it my way. And if anybody else touches it, then I it makes my skin itch. I don't know. And I feel like Willow was very much that with the coffee shop. Yeah. Because it was her baby that she had built and she had proven herself. And now Harlow comes in and she's like calling rats in on accident.
SPEAKER_01I also loved how cute Willow and Wyatt, they're obviously so into each other. Smitten, yeah. But they're not saying it out loud. And so, but everybody around them can see it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And everyone's just like, Would you get together already? Get over it.
SPEAKER_00But his dad is the pack leader. Sure. So that sets us up for the third book because we have to figure out why they can't be together.
SPEAKER_01So they start investigating Lou's alleged murder at this point because they suspect that it's a murder and they're going around town. They go to the coroner and get the coroner report. They talk to one of the police officers who was on the scene. The entire werewolf pack is the police department. Also hilarious. Yeah. Um they do talk about how the the police department kind of half-ass most well.
SPEAKER_00Their job is to cover up anything that is monster related from for the tourists. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So like so they don't really investigate a ton.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But I will say that they were just like, it smelled like alcohol. So she was obviously drunk. But then they did the tox report and she had zero alcohol in her system. And nobody bothered to look at that tox report anymore. Nobody ever even cared. Yeah, they were like, oh, she just went on a bender and like ran off the road and died. And nobody cared at all, which really sucks. But I guess they were just like, well, oh well, didn't have anything to do with the tourists, so we're cool.
SPEAKER_01And the longer Lou is kind of like stuck there, the more solid she gets as far as like being able to interact with the colour. Her corporeal form is getting. There you go. That was a hard word for me. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and at one point, Iris can see her uh for a second. And because like throughout most of the book, she's getting poltergeisty.
SPEAKER_00Right. And it's angry. It's like, don't anger the spirit. Like Iris is like, don't piss her off. Why aren't you trying to fight with your ex-girlfriend while she's a fucking ghost? You're gonna turn her into a terrible spirit.
SPEAKER_01She's gonna yeah. And it also seems to get flared when Harlow and Jordan get a little physical. Yeah. She gets jealous.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I would get jealous. I would totally get jealous. I'm like, you called me back from the dead because you were still thinking about me. And now I have to watch you make out with this cute little coffee shop girl.
SPEAKER_01It's not fair. And the first time they hook up, man, what a scene. Dude, I first of all, the spice, it'd be spicing. It does. There's not a lot.
SPEAKER_00There's only two sex scenes, but it's a very short book.
SPEAKER_01So you know, statistically, in a book that short, that was a a good number of you know, sex scenes. No, it was I was like, but the first time they hook up, they are just tits out, butt ass naked. And all of a sudden, Lou the poltergeist is in the room and slams Harlow against the wall, like holding her up by her like to the ceiling almost. Like anybody that walks in, it looks like girls just levitating. But ass naked. Butt ass naked there. And Lou is just full poltergeist mode. Madden her.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And Jordan is standing there naked, like, put her down, like, what are you doing? I can't like bit to be a fly on the wall. You know what I mean? It would be a sight to see.
SPEAKER_01How are you reacting? You're Harlow in this situation. And the ghost of the girl you just hooked up with has slammed your naked ass against a wall.
SPEAKER_00And I can see her.
SPEAKER_01And you could see her because she's real pissed and she's real solid at that point. Are you cool with it?
SPEAKER_00Oh, of course I'm not cool with it. And honestly, but I will say, I loved how I loved how Harlow was like, what the fuck? Number one. But then I think that she's already accepted all of the paranormal. And so her her biggest reaction was that Jordan lied to her. Which I mean, fair. Fair. Totally fair. She didn't tell her. Like Jordan has not told her this entire time.
SPEAKER_01But Lou's just been hanging out with him.
SPEAKER_00And while Lou is holding her against the wall, she's like, tell her, Jordan. Tell her why I'm here. Yeah. Tell her why you're with her. And so she's like, Why the why are you with why are you with me? What was she talking about? Obviously. And she's like, Well, I thought that her unfinished business was that I needed to move on. So she shoved me into you the first day. Physically. Physically. And I had to ask you on a date. But now, but you're cool. And I like actually like you. So like now I wanna be here. But originally, you know, I was just trying to get her to move on to the next, you know. So were you a means to an end? Sure. But not now. Like then, but not now. Now I really like you. You just gave me an amazing orgasm. I'm really sorry that my ex-girlfriend is now throwing against the wall. Don't be mad at me. I want more of those. And she's like, I need space, obviously.
SPEAKER_01Which, like, she wraps a sheet around herself because she was still tits out there. At one point, it's like Jordan's standing there naked. She's like, I'm gonna put my coat on. Yeah. And I'm like, Your coat? How big was the coat? Was it a trench coat? Are you poo-bearing?
SPEAKER_00Because I can't take you seriously if you're poo-bearing. No, I really like you. I do. Put some goddamn pants on. Jesus Christ. I can't take you fucking seriously right now. I will say this book was very, very cute and very, very short and very cozy, and it was perfect for October, but you can read it. And I don't want to say this and sound negative. I'm not gonna think about it forever. Sure. I just really enjoyed it while I was in it. You know what I mean? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I really I love the chemistry between the characters. Yeah. I love the tension that you get between a lot of the side characters. Like there's obviously sexual tension between Ramona and Iris. Yeah. Uh the demon and the best friend. Thank God. Uh you've got Wyatt and Willow, the bumbling idiots who are obviously in love. And so yeah, and then you've got this other like quirky cast of characters. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It really is like Starz Hollow, but just with monsters.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And they even have a gazebo. I know. I didn't even think about it. Yeah, they've got the gazebo, like stars hollow. So yeah, they're investigating Lou's murder. And if you read this and really pay attention, there's clues all through this about who ended up killing Lou.
SPEAKER_00Right. We do find out who the murderer is.
SPEAKER_01And so you've got Katie the Fishmonger, who obviously has a big old boner for Jordan. Yeah. Keep sending her like bouquets of flowers. Things. Yeah. It's just a bouquet? Bouquet. Bouquet? So Katie the Fishmonger. I mean, they kept talking about how Lou's car smelled like alcohol. And then every time Katie was in a scene, they turned out to be a little bit more. I'm like, has no one put these two things together?
SPEAKER_00And they're like, Have you been drinking this early in the morning? No, I have to wash my hands with alcohol.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Like multiple times. The only thing that I can imagine because you and I had this conversation off mic about how we felt like Katie smelled like rubbing alcohol. Right. Because she kept trying to like get the fish smell off. Right. And then they said Lou's car smelled like alcohol. And we assumed that meant booze. Booze, because they kept saying she was like on a bender. And I'm like, how can these werewolf police officers who can smell helmet sick from blocks away and whatever? Yeah. Like these, like it's definitely girl for sure. And not know the difference between nothing else. Yeah. The only thing I could think of, and I just thought of this, is I don't know if you remember like when the height of like COVID. Yeah, no, I think we're like that too. Making it vodka. Hand sanitizer, yeah. That smelled like actual liquor. That's the only thing I could think of. But still, I'm thinking more, like, she smelled more like rubbing alcohol. Right. And how did they get that confused? But again, this was a town full of monsters. I don't think everything had to make complete sense.
SPEAKER_00Nothing had to make sense, honestly. But yeah, I I thought that too. I mean, as soon as they were like, I have to wash my hands and alcohol was like, Well, that's who did it. Who done it? Funny it out. Got it. I'm gonna I'm you know, somebody put Katie at the top of the subject list. Right. But I will say, the whole book, you don't know that Katie and Juniper are the same person. So Juniper is the swamp monster, and she's the one that has the crush on Jordan, and she's the one that wants to go on a date with Jordan, and she's the one sitting here all of this stuff. Yeah. Katie is the one who's killed. It's still a little weird, John. She's super weird, but Katie is the human form of Juniper. Of Juniper.
SPEAKER_01And apparently half the town like knew this. Knew it. But somehow Jordan knew it. Yeah, Agnes the vampire is the one that like blows the whistle on the Katie Juniper being the same person. They're like, how do you think she sells her fish out of town? She can't sell her fish as a like look at her stinking chicken. You know? And I'm like, And she stinks. And she's slimy. Yeah. Was the alcohol to cover up the fish smell or was the alcohol to cover up her swamp monster smell now?
SPEAKER_00I don't know that it matters.
SPEAKER_01Either way. Either way. I feel like I just had a light bulb. Still, it was the same alcohol. I'll put those pieces together. Regardless of the one that's part of this. There's a whole confrontation. Lou ends up killing her killer, which good for her. Love that for her. Fantastic.
SPEAKER_00Because she has become a vengeful spirit. Not really, but like she's become the poltergeist. She can pick up the kitchen knife.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But she does it because Katie slash Juniper has now poisoned Harlow and Willow. And Willow, trying to get the humans out of the way because Jordan, this wonderful paranormal being, keeps slumming it with the humans, apparently, in her mind.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Which, how that's any better than the fishy smelling swamp monster, I'm not sure, but okay.
SPEAKER_00And even in the in the heat of her like trying to poison Harlow and kill her, she's like, you just don't understand how perfect we are for each other, Jordan. And Jordan's like, I will never date you, regardless of who is in the town. It's not who I like. It's you. It's you.
SPEAKER_01You're crazy. It's you. Yeah. I'm not dating you. You're poisoning people and still thinking that I'm gonna be like, okay, let's go on a date.
SPEAKER_00You smell like fish and you're slimy and you have seaweed in your hair. Like that could be for somebody. Also my ex-girlfriend. Right. You're a murderer. Lame. Like, don't kill for me. Not unless I ask for it. I mean, that's a huge assumption. Huge. Giant.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Also, during the investigation, uh, we skipped over the part where Iris made a literal deal with a demon. She did. She agreed to go on a date with Ramona in exchange for some information that helped along their investigation into Lou's murder. Um, and she agrees to go on this date within a year. Right. To a on a date and to a location of her specifying, which was good on her not to leave that open to the demon to decide. What if she's like, we're having a date in hell? Yeah. And so we figure out who kills Lou. Lou kills them. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Wrapped up pretty quickly.
SPEAKER_01Cops don't care. The cops are like, good job, guys. Good job, guys. We'll help real rebuild the coffee shop.
SPEAKER_00Gotta find somebody else to get our fish now, but you know, it's cool.
SPEAKER_01It's alright. I'm sure there's other swamp monsters.
SPEAKER_00Or the mermaids, I guess. They would probably be against it though, because they are half fish. So that's kind of an ethical dilemma, yeah. Yeah. Be like chicken eating chicken. Maybe. Anyway.
SPEAKER_01Man, our side quests on this episode are good. So everything kind of wraps up. Nice, neat little bow. And then you get the rest of the story. Yeah. Which is the cutest little stars hollow. Well, it flashes forward a year. Yeah. And you get uh Jordan proposing to Harlow. Yeah. In the gazebo.
SPEAKER_00And the whole towns, all the townspeople are hiding around, like behind trees and in bushes.
SPEAKER_01Harlow Jordan's like, go away. It was Willow's job to get her there. And Willow like drops her off. And she's like, why is Iris hiding in the bushes? Which is one of the funniest moments in the whole thing. And then in true, like gay fashion, Jordan is down on one knee holding this ring, and Harla's like, hold on. She's gonna propose. And I'm like, oh my God. I'm gonna hijack this proposal with a proposal. With a proposal.
SPEAKER_00You say yes first. No, you say yes first. We'll say it at the same time. Count and three. One, two, three. Yes.
SPEAKER_01The whole count jumps out of the butches screaming.
SPEAKER_00I will say, their wedding was absolutely beautiful.
SPEAKER_01I would have loved to have done it that way.
SPEAKER_00Oh my God. I am just so like in my feels about witches right now in general because I went to see Practical Magic 2 last week and I'm just feeling all kinds of things about witches. Mostly nostalgia, mostly gay things.
SPEAKER_01I need you to talk about what you're saying off mic about the sisters and your how you kept having to remind yourself throughout watching that movie.
SPEAKER_00Well, I had to keep reminding myself that they were sisters because their chemistry on screen is like out, it's bonkers. It's wild. And like Nicole Kimman is so fucking tactile. She's touching Sandra Bullock all the time. And I kept being like, oh, oh, oh no, no, they're sisters. Like they're not gonna kiss. But they kept getting their faces were always so close, and the gay girl in me is like, kiss, kiss. And then I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't kiss. That's fucked up. Don't kiss your sisters. But I'm not the only one because I have seen influencers being like Anita Safic movie with Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman because they're freaking on-screen chemistry as sisters made everybody feel weird and like want them to kiss. Okay, maybe not feel weird, but I was just like, yes, no.
SPEAKER_01No, Sandra Bullock is on my gay awakening. Like Sandra Bullock in the movie Speed in particular. Love that for you.
SPEAKER_00Nicole Kidman is mine and Lulon Rouge.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that makes total sense.
SPEAKER_00Girl. Absolutely. Listen, I was way too young to be watching a movie about a courtesan, and I watched the shit out of that movie in high school. Like me and my friend Melissa, belting out come what may. Let me tell you, I loved Nicole Kidman in that. And to this day, I don't think that there's an on-screen death that affected me as deeply as that one. There are a lot of on-screen deaths that really like ripped my heart out. Ruth Jameson is one, like we talked about, Fred Rick Tomatoes. There are multiple on-screen deaths, Sateen and Moulin Rouge, every fucking time. And Marge took me to see the Broadway in New York for one of our anniversaries or for my birthday.
SPEAKER_01I went to see it at some point.
SPEAKER_00And I sobbed the entire play. Like the whole play. I knew what was gonna happen. And like I pre-sobbing sobbed the entire show, even through the great parts, because I knew I knew what was coming.
SPEAKER_01So this is the most you thing I think you've ever said.
SPEAKER_00I'm telling you what. Like I, oh my god. Nicole Kibben in a corset that's rhinestoned. I can't with that red hair.
SPEAKER_01They're totally playing. I feel like they're playing into it somewhat in the press tour.
SPEAKER_00Or they're I They just have really great kids. They do have to be a good idea. I think they're just really good friends and they have really good kids.
SPEAKER_01Also, I feel like Sandra Bullock is really good at playing characters who are just like give off so much gay energy. Yeah. Like I have you seen Ocean's 8?
SPEAKER_00Oh my god. Listen, I can't even my brain will short circuit if we talk about Ocean's 8 because it's Kate Blanchett. And I can't. It's Kate Blanchett.
SPEAKER_01And Sarah Paulson. And who? And Sarah Paulson.
SPEAKER_00Sarah Paul.
SPEAKER_01Stop it.
SPEAKER_00Listen, we can't talk about Oceans 8.
SPEAKER_01Okay, anyway.
SPEAKER_00We'll be here all night. And and and I can't.
SPEAKER_01This has just turned into like a us reviewing all these different movies tonight. And I'm here for it. I'm here for it too. I gotta back back up because you also made another point about watching practical magic. Yeah. I haven't seen it yet. Yeah. And I honestly, this is one of those times where I'm like, I'm hesitant to see the sequel because it's it's su the first one is such an influential movie. Yeah. It's such a huge part of my childhood that it was.
SPEAKER_00Well, sequels are scary in general because you never know. Yeah, you never know. I will say practical magic is what it is to you, to me as well. Like it is childhood, it is watching it with your mom. Like, I just like it's just so cozy and wonderful, and it just embodies everything that you want out of like femininity, I feel like, in a one crazy way. I don't know, just like the way that they live and the house that they live in and the way that they support each other. And it was in the 90s, earliest 2000s, like well, I watched it in the early 2000s, it came out in 98. But for me, practical magic lives in that era. You know, those witches live in that era, the house lives there, the craft lives there, everything lives there in the nine late 90s, early 2000s. So watching it in 2026 and those same witches living in 2026 really threw me.
SPEAKER_01Didn't you say it was like the ninja ninja slush?
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, yeah, like there was a ninja slush. Like, I'm like, where's the midnight margaritas? And and then like Nicole Kimmen like throws a giant ninja slushy in. She got it at Costco probably. Of course, like on the counter. And I'm like, the ninja slushie, so that does not belong in the practical magic house. A ninja slushie? Like, what are they gonna get next? Like a Nespresso machine? Exactly. I I can't like so that like things like small little things like that. I was like, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No. What? What? No, because it in my mind, it still all exists in that era. It doesn't exist in this era. And I love that that it does now, and I love that they do now because you know, and I love seeing the daughters grown up, and I love seeing, you know, Stalker Channing and Diane Weiss with they were fantastic.
SPEAKER_01Also, Stalker Channing.
SPEAKER_00Listen, she I'm telling you, Rizzo and Grease did something to me. She did.
SPEAKER_01I wasn't even a Grease fan. I this is a strong opinion. I know I'm not a fan of Grease. Uh, and I love a musical. Yeah. I just that one just never did it for me, honestly. But Stockard Channing. Rizzo, man. Like just the bad girl.
SPEAKER_00Just a bad girl. And I love it. I mean, that's neither here nor there.
SPEAKER_01Also, just random, random thought though. Stockard Channing is the bad girl version of Gene Smart. Okay. I will not be taking questions.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Okay. I can see that. I do, I like Marge. I think that it's so funny for me because I feel like the like iconic characters that lesbians loved, like Marge was obsessed with Olivia Newton John. I feel like that was like her gay awakening, but like Olivia Newton John, not Sandy. Right. Olivia Newton John and like Xana do. I don't know, you know. Oh my God. But anyway, anyway. But I don't know. Like I I I love, I loved that they I loved that they are now like present day, like the witches are back, you know what I mean? But it also was kind of jarring to see.
SPEAKER_01Jordan and Iris kind of gave me like some practical magic vibes throughout that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And I mean the fact that they had an apothecary, and just in my mind, I just imagined like walking in with like walls all around you, full of jars with with like herbs and spices and all kinds of beautiful like incense in there, and you know, it's just like the epitome of what you would imagine a witch's apothecary would be.
SPEAKER_01And oh, but we did skip over one of my favorite parts too, which is Ramona crashing the proposal almost, calling in the deal. Yeah. Because it had been over a year. Yeah. She's like, I've been very patient. I am glad that you affirmed for me because I don't listen to these. I read these, so I'm doing their voices in my head. Oh no, Ramona's voice is very deep.
SPEAKER_00Very deep. And I'm like, the narrator made her deep too. I was like, fantastic. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. It was hot.
SPEAKER_01In my head, it was really hot.
SPEAKER_00Very like gravelly and like drawn out. And then Iris is the complete opposite of that. Yeah. Like sunshine in a bottle. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Which is great. Fantastic. I really need you to read their story and I need a girl. I'm just gonna go, I'm gonna read it. Yeah, now I need to read it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I think it's on KU too, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think all of them are all three of them are on K.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so I'm just gonna download it and read it. But I can't read it right now because now I have a really big book to read for next month.
SPEAKER_01So have we covered the wedding yet? Because that was super cute and witchy. Oh my god, it was so cute.
SPEAKER_00It wasn't even cute, it was beautiful. They propose They propose cute little Star Halo gazebo proposal. Right. And the whole coven is there and they approve of Harlow because apparently the coven has to approve.
SPEAKER_01The grandmother's like, I think there's a little magic in her. And I mean, you want to talk about getting the approval of somebody. Right. And Jordan says that's like the powerful witch of a grandmother. She is the matriarch, the leader of the coven. Says that your future wife has some magic in her. Damn.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean that and Jordan's like, that's one of the highest compliments that you can get.
SPEAKER_01I picture, because there it's in like the Coven's like inner sanctum. Inner sanctum. But to me, it was like a witchy chapel kind of thing in my head. And there's actually this chapel in Arkansas that I went to. It's kind of like in this like nature preserved park kind of place. And it's completely glass. It looks like kind of like a Lord of the Rings kind of situation. Yeah. And it's in the middle of the woods. It's all glass. It's got these like beautiful arches. And in my head, I was picturing that chapel.
SPEAKER_00That sounds pretty.
SPEAKER_01But just like at night with a bunch of wishes in it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I and I love, yeah, because I mean everybody's, you know, you've got an idea of what covens do. Like they're gonna get in a circle, they're gonna hold hands.
SPEAKER_01There's some chanting situation.
SPEAKER_00They're humming or you know, they say Latin, I don't know. And then because they do. Don't they? They speak Latin in this this book when in the I'm pretty sure it might not be Latin, it's definitely not the language that I know. Yeah, it is not English, there's some witchy witchy witchy chanting going down, and then they and they're in this full circle, all connected with the women on the inside of it that are getting married, which is beautiful. And then this dome of like beautiful energy appears over the circle.
SPEAKER_01The spirits of their ancestors like approving of this union.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so like how amazing would it be if you could have your ancestors come and watch you get married and approve. And Lou got to come, but yeah, it was so sweet, but so it was full circle and beautiful iris um officiating. Yes, she did a hand binding with like white lace or white uh gossamer, just whatever. She did a beautiful hand binding, and I always thought that was such a gorgeous thing to do at a wedding.
SPEAKER_01It was a really beautiful way to end this cute book, I thought. Yeah, so it was that. It was a very cute, cozy book. It was also there were a lot of funny moments. Yeah, there was some comedy in there. I think uh at one point Jordan says my witchy bits were fluttering, which I'm putting in heavy rotation. Heavy rotation. Just be prepared. That's gonna end up in every future book. Love it. Okay, be like that made my witchy bits flutter. I don't know how I feel about that, but I'm sure I'll come around. Just to make you uncomfortable, actually, at this point. Challenge accepted. Oh my god. Well. So we're gonna leave you with your witchy bits fluttering, hopefully.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, our next book is one that you're really looking forward to.
SPEAKER_01Listen, just like half the other books that we've talked about on this podcast, this is on a long list of books I've just been trying to get you to read forever.
SPEAKER_00This one's really long.
SPEAKER_01It's not as long. Like, there's thick. She's thick, but she's not like uh plain bad heroines thick, which I still want you to read, but we're gonna need like two. You're gonna have to lock in for that one. Yeah. Um, so next month covering Her Majesty's Royal Coven by Juno Dawson. Woo! One of my favorite authors. If you don't follow her, go look her up. Love her so much, and this is one of my top ten books. Sticking with the witch theme. Yeah, sticking with the witch theme. Less cutesy, more witchy witchy for sure. Okay. There's a lot happening in this book. And I love this one because it does cover it's very inclusive as far as like the types of characters, their the way that they identify, their sexualities. I love that. There's something for everybody in this. Um and I just thought it was one of the few books that I've also come across that has a trans character pre prominently, and it covers just a lot. Um, it's a rule action-packed witchy book. Okay. So it's good. Definitely strap in. Strap in. It's gonna be a good one. Um, one of my favorites, and I can't wait for you to read it. I'm excited. I want all the live tweets on this one.
SPEAKER_00Blow that text thread up, girl. I want to hear it all. I will, I will. I'm excited to read it. I haven't started it yet.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. All right. Well, we'll catch you next time for season two, episode three, woo, where we talk about Her Majesty's Royal Coven. Thanks for joining us on this crazy half of a movie movie review podcast episode that we did. We promise we'll take our ADHD meds next time. Love you guys here.
SPEAKER_00See you next time.