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Breaking Free from Outdated Values with Kisha Woods (a.k.a Coach K)

• Najela

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Coach Kisha Woods shares her transformative journey from corporate employee to full-time entrepreneur, helping women step into their power through her business Upgraded Mindsets. She discusses the importance of breaking free from outdated values that hold us back and implementing self-care practices that allow us to show up as our best selves.

• Breaking free from outdated values that no longer serve us
• How to overcome the "my kids come first" mentality by filling your cup first
• The importance of taking breaks and setting boundaries to avoid burnout
• The journey from supporting others from a place of havoc to a place of healing
• Developing clarity in personal values before pursuing entrepreneurial goals
• Being willing to lose people during your growth journey
• Finding mentors and support systems beyond family and friends
• Embracing mental health conversations, especially as Black women

If you're interested in developing an entrepreneurial mindset, get Coach K's free guide with powerful tips for instilling the right mindset for business success. Find Coach K on all social media platforms @CoachKTransforms or visit her website at https://www.upgradedmindsetz.life/.


Speaker 1:

tell me who you are and what you do so.

Speaker 2:

My name is Keisha Woods, I go by Coach K and I am a full-time coach, consultant and entrepreneur. My primary business is Upgraded Mindsets and I have been in that journey since 2020, helping women become the most empowering versions of themselves. I've shifted into entrepreneurial startup, entrepreneurial growth. We have help with a lot of different areas, from coaching, consulting, mentorship, podcasts, anything that I can offer as a resource for us to step into our most empowering selves, so anything in that area.

Speaker 1:

That's where you'll find what makes you multi-passionate.

Speaker 2:

Just being an inspiration and empowerment to other women. I really thrive off of being that supportive measure to other women, just being that factor, but also seeing other women thrive in their success, get out of their own way, shake the procrastination and step into their power. That is so fulfilling to me.

Speaker 1:

Can you tell me about each of the businesses you run and how do you find time to commit to them?

Speaker 2:

all, I am a full-time entrepreneur and I've been that way since the end of 2020. Being fired from my job in 2020 was the kickstart to step into full-time entrepreneurship. I didn't. A year before that, I didn't even know I wanted to be an entrepreneur. But shake, coming into a personal transformation. As women, we are so overwhelmed and just always prioritizing ourselves last and that was just something that I had began that transformative journey for myself. So I said, because I've always been a support to others, I wanted to now do that for women. So Upgraded Mindsets was launched from that.

Speaker 2:

My second business is UPM Suites, which I actually have founded with two other phenomenal women and that is a brick and mortar location I have here in my city. And we also work with small businesses to help them with branding, marketing from business cards to promotional cards, flyers just really being that resource to help them, enable them their best sales as entrepreneurs and as businesses. So Upgraded Mindsets has a different level. So I have my coaching, I have my mentorship, I have my workshops, but then I also have my podcast. Upgraded Mindsets is like one big umbrella of women empowerment Just really stepping into that. But Upgraded Mindsets is like one big umbrella of women empowerment, just stepping into that. But Upgraded Mindsets and UPM Suites are my two babies.

Speaker 1:

How do you stay focused on a specific thing without feeling like scattered.

Speaker 2:

And I won't lie, there's times that I do, there's times that I do feel scattered, there's times where I am overwhelmed, but what I have learned from the personal side of things is to take a step back, regroup, realign. As entrepreneurs, we sometimes feel like that we have to just keep going, no matter what. And although I believe that to a degree, I also believe in continuing at our full selves, because we will sometimes try to go when we only got a little bit of dust in us, we won't take that time to reset. I'm very unapologetic about saying, hey, I'm logging off for a couple of days, let me reset, let me get myself together. So that really helps me just having that mindset of saying, hey, if I'm gone for two days from my business, checking out for two days, then I haven't done what I needed to do to build, continue to build, and it's okay to detach yourself for a day or two. I totally believe in that and I do it often and I teach my clients the same thing.

Speaker 1:

That's good. Have you seen any specific limiting beliefs that are specific to Black women and, if so, how do you help your clients overcome?

Speaker 2:

that what I find is a lot of us, especially as Black women, we are operating in outdated values. We are quick to say, oh, my mom raised me this way, or I was raised to believe this, and that automatically is a self-limiting belief because you believe, because that's how they were, that's how you're supposed to be, and I'm not saying that it can't be that way. But you owe it to yourself to reflect and like really discover who you are and make sure that those values are still aligned with you today. That was something I had to do is really like figure out are those values still aligned with me? And 90% of them were not Discovering that, but also stepping into that because we will know that a lot of things are outdated. But we are scared to take that journey and say you know what I'm about to do for me, because we're scared of judgment, we're scared of people turning their backs on us.

Speaker 2:

The most important thing that I teach my clients is, once you step into that power, those that are really supposed to be aligned with you will be aligned with you, so you might lose some people in the process. So I really just teach that obstacles are inevitable, but we have strategies in place to help us get through them effectively instead of letting them just stop us in our tracks.

Speaker 2:

It's like removing the outdated values, stepping into our new values, figuring out what those are, but stepping into them unapologetically. And I say unapologetically a lot, because we have to be that way. It doesn't mean that we're being mean, malice, negative. It means that we are becoming confident in who we are as individuals and entrepreneurs.

Speaker 1:

I think as Black women we are socialized to kind of put others' comfort above our needs. Comfort can affect a privilege for a lot of people. You had mentioned that like resetting and finding, like getting realigned with yourself and getting rid of outdated values. Can you give an example of a couple outdated values that you hear a lot of your clients saying?

Speaker 2:

Yes, sure, I work with a lot of women that are moms, for example, and what the outdated value that I have got them out of is saying oh well, my kids come first. That is not necessarily the case, because here's the problem with that. Oh well, my kids come first. That is not necessarily the case, because here's the problem with that. You're putting your kids first, but you're pouring. What are you pouring into them? How? What are you giving them? You're giving them havoc, you're giving them frustration, you're giving them anger, but you're passing it off as saying that you love them and you're looking out for them.

Speaker 2:

So to me, that is an outdated value and, with upgraded mindsets, that is outdated. So what we do now is we will do some purpose planning and we're going to do some self-discovery and we're going to figure out what makes you tick, what fulfills you, because stepping into that and being the saying, hey, this is what fulfills me. Now you're in the mindset of saying, yes, my kids are very important, but I can't put them as number one, because I have to make sure that I'm at my best, because I can now give them my best.

Speaker 2:

I'm not giving them a smidgen in the bottom of the cup. I'm giving them a full cup of me, because I now have identified the things that might be energy zapper. I've identified things that are setbacks for me. Embrace them, and now I'm saying, hey, I'm going to give you this, but I'm also okay with saying, hey, I'm taking some time for me right now because, as women, and especially as black women, we won't do that we will continue to go on and on until we blow up, and then we want to justify that we blew up.

Speaker 2:

No, if you feel that it's up to you to say, you know what, I need to take a step back right now and I referenced this video a lot I seen a video on Tik TOK. It was a lady who was sitting outside her. I think her son may have been like two or three, but he was in the window just crying his eyes out, but you couldn't hear him crying. But she was sitting there and what I took away from that was he's crying.

Speaker 2:

But I need my moment right now, she still had her eyes on him. He wasn't doing anything and she was letting him get that out, but she was also taking that moment and that was powerful because she still was a mom, making sure she had her eyes on him. But she was taking that moment like, okay, I need to, I need to get myself together, so it's okay. I want us to break that stigma of feeling like that. We have to show up all the time we yes, we don't, and that's like my everyday yeah we don't always as a black woman that I'm pretty sure you've heard this.

Speaker 1:

Like the whole world is on your shoulders and you gotta work twice as hard half as far. I just had this conversation with someone else yesterday and it was just like and then I bet in that comment section there was a you should have did this for your baby, but can you imagine if? But you know what.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was some, but then I seen more of. I feel this so much, I understand this, I love that. I'm really starting to see women say you know what it is okay for me to take, and sometimes it could be five minutes.

Speaker 2:

It could be a five minute. Hey, I just need to sit here in the moment in my right now and just see, it's okay, I, I, I talk about that and I practice that so much. I know how it can get. You can default back so fast. But you have to train your mind to say this is what I'm going to do and this is what I'm going to practice every day. To say this is what I'm going to do and this is what I'm going to practice every day. You have to replace the habit, replace the outdated belief of I always have to show up for others. You can't leave it empty and just say I'm not going to do it.

Speaker 2:

You have to replace it, you know what. I'm saying so, replacing it with more effective measures. That's going to help you, which is going to turn around and help your village, because I am my most effective self by making sure that I take the time out for me and my clients see it my family sees it. They see the differences, and that's what it's about.

Speaker 1:

I can imagine her. She took that five minutes or however long it took, and she was ready to meet his needs, fully opposed to coming in and being like, oh my gosh, I'm so annoyed, let me just throw them on the tablet, let me have put some cocoa melon on or something and yes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so it was a very powerful moment, but I just love those powerful moments because that's just us stepping in to our to ourselves and taking the time out because that's going to help us, help our mind, help our body, help our spirit. I had to learn that myself, that it was a powerful. 2020 was that low year for me. I actually was like mentally struggling, but because, as Black women, we suppress our emotions so much, it caught up with me and I don't want it to catch up with anybody else.

Speaker 1:

Your book it sounded like it was related to sounded like your book was related to what your struggles in 2022 or 2020. And can you tell me more about that and how you came to tell your story?

Speaker 2:

absolutely from havoc to healing. 30 days of reconditioning is a direct reflection of me beginning the transformative journey. April of 2020, I decided to take a detox from social media. Now we know, in 2020, that's when we were just so uncertain about so much and, but at a time where we were told that we couldn't see anybody, we couldn't go around anybody, social media was everybody's best friend, but it couldn't be for me because mentally I was struggling.

Speaker 2:

So I decided to log off and I journaled every day for 30 days in April of 2020. And what I did is I put it away. It's crazy Cause I literally thought of my business name, upgraded mindsets during that 30 day detox. I was just being clear on a lot of things and really just saying I'm tired. I'm tired of being this particular way. I don't have to be this way. So I was doing some meditation and like reading some books. Like I said, every morning or every evening I would journal. So I ended up putting that away. And in 2022, I went back and I read that journal and I was like, wow, this needs to be out there for everybody else.

Speaker 2:

So at the time I didn't have a title for it, but I sent it to a friend editor of mine and she's girl like this needs to be out here. You need to put this out. So we decided to turn it into a book and that's where I labeled it from havoc to healing 30 days of reconditioning because those 30 days were the most critical moments of my life.

Speaker 2:

In regards to beginning the journey to transform it into the best version of myself, and from havoc to healing was how I felt, because I was supportive from for people, but I was doing it out of a place of havoc. So now in my journey, I am supporting people from a place of healing, and it makes all the difference in the world.

Speaker 1:

How did you recognize that it was like that havoc energy versus healing.

Speaker 2:

Honestly, just the emotion of anger. All the time I was always mad. I was like always mad, like people would call me, ask me to do stuff and I'd get mad. If I had to go to work, I'd get mad, like any little thing was triggering anger. That was really the only emotion that I feel like I was identifying with at that time. I was angry, but I was also so frustrated because I just wasn't doing what I wanted to do in life. Now, like I said back then, I didn't know that this was my journey and this was my purpose, but I needed to have those stressful and critical moments to where I was ready to, like, do damage right now, maybe not necessarily to myself, but I was ready to hurt somebody or something. I knew that wasn't right.

Speaker 2:

That was getting too much for me, so it was like I got to figure something out because I'm mad. Like I wake up mad, I go to bed mad. You shouldn't go to bed or wake up mad. I shouldn't be waking up from the day before it's feelings mad about something. So I just knew at that moment it was time for me to make some changes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's. We've been taught to suppress our emotions for one reason or another, because nobody wants to be the angry black woman, but also they don't want to be the silent black woman.

Speaker 2:

It's a hard balance too, and I want people to realize that when you are making these type of transformational changes, nothing is going to be easy about that of transformational changes. Nothing is going to be easy about that. We have this, and social media has made it seem like being in our journey is just so pleasant and godly, and that stuff is hard y'all and it's constantly hard. But I tell my clients and even on the days where they're frustrated and they want to give up, this journey is necessary and that's like my tagline. It is a necessary journey, but nobody said it was going to be easy. Nobody said it was going to be all these just flowers and roses.

Speaker 2:

You're really reconditioning your life. Please explain to me why you think that's going to be right. You're breaking old habits that you have probably done three quarters of your life. You're reconditioning your mind to think differently. Our mind consumes between 40 to 70,000 thoughts a day and almost 80% of those thoughts can be negative. So you have to program your mind to instill more positive and that's like pretty much the key and that's what Upgraded Mindsets does. It helps you work on reconditioning your mind to be effective in your growth and your transformation and your thriving, Because we have been in survival mode for so long. It's time for us to thrive.

Speaker 2:

When you deal with come across that. One thing that helps me is they haven't even either started the journey that they need to come on, because all of us need some form of personal growth and development, especially in these times. If anybody feels like or how, you hear people say, oh, that's just how I am, yeah, that's a pet peeve right now. Do not say that to me, because I'm probably just going to be like, oh, okay, and you're probably going to see me fall all the way back because everybody has room for growth.

Speaker 2:

And I get that a lot with me too, because I'm very assertive. I'm very assertive, I'm very adamant about my boundaries and, again, unapologetic about it. So people will say, oh, you seem a little harsh. Somebody told me that I gave kind of military and I'm like that's for somebody that wants to be a push, wants somebody to be a pushover for them. I'm not apologizing because my voice carries. I got a big mouth, I got a loud mouth. It's no secret and I don't. But I'm not going to be offended because what I say might hurt your feelings. If it hurts your feelings, then that means you need to work on it.

Speaker 1:

So have you ever got feedback from others telling you to choose a focus or because you're multi-passionate. How did people respond to that?

Speaker 2:

So I did, and first, starting off as a coach, we have the whole oh. I want to help everybody, I want to reach the world and as a coach, it's just not realistic.

Speaker 2:

So I do. I wanted to always help women, but I had to really narrow down like what kind of women that I wanted to help. I wanted to help intentional women. I wanted to help women who were frustrated with life and just who weren't fulfilled. But as I continued to pivot, I also realized that the women that I was attracting were women who were either entrepreneurs, who were talking about becoming entrepreneurs, or just had the desire and talked about entrepreneurship. So about a year and a half into my journey, I then started incorporating the entrepreneur side of things. So what I'm very adamant about now and my journey as a coach is I help women who are entrepreneur spirit spirited. But we also work on the personal growth, because what happens is you have to have your personal together in order to elevate as an entrepreneur. There are a lot of us who tend to have constant havoc in our personal lives, but we're going to be successful and grow in the business, so it aligns together.

Speaker 2:

So that is what Upgraded Mindsets does. We work with women who are either interested in becoming entrepreneurs we help you with the real startup process, and the real startup process includes the personal purpose, what is aligned with you, what, what fulfills you Like what, so we can work on establishing your business the administrative side of things but also giving you the mindset of an entrepreneur. So working with those together. And that's why I call myself the transformative growth awful startup, entrepreneurial growth coach, because they both align.

Speaker 1:

How long do you see your clients working on that transformative mindset piece before they even jump into the entrepreneurial part?

Speaker 2:

So, before we even talk about entrepreneurship, our first couple of sessions will be the purpose planning.

Speaker 2:

I call them purpose planning sessions because we're really sitting down and we're figuring out, like the zappers, we're figuring out the restrictions, we're figuring out the values that may need to be updated. Once we get to that point and we have successfully completed that part, then we step into it. Now we might have a conversation about what you want to do as an entrepreneur, but what I have found with my proven strategies is once we get that personal clarity together, then you become clear on what you want to do as an entrepreneur. Because when you don't have that clarity, you're like, oh, I just want to sell shirts, you want to sell shirts. But once we get that personal clarity, you're like, oh, I want to sell shirts to autistic moms who may have one or more children with autism. Just being able to break it down because they now have the clarity, because they've worked on that personal side of things, so just being able to help them get clear on all of their goals is so dope.

Speaker 1:

Do you find yourself attracting a lot of multi-passionate people?

Speaker 2:

I do, I do. And it's crazy because I had somebody actually reach out to me yesterday from real, that I posted because I'm very no holds barred with my content. Let's get your ass up, do what you got to do. I'm that passionate about it, but it all comes from a place of love. But I actually had a lady reach out and she was like you did not have to holler at me like that and I was like I'm sorry and she was like no, she said I needed to hear your voice.

Speaker 2:

She said I needed to hear you, and she scheduled a complimentary consultation. We haven't had it yet, but just knowing that I'm making an impact, whether it's through my short form content, whether it's through my podcast, whether it's through me just having general conversation, that's what it's about for me, because everybody wants to make changes and I just want to do my part in advocating to make sure that we break those stigmas, especially as Black women and as women overall, breaking those stigmas and stepping into who we're supposed to be. I'll just give some insight. I said I love the conversation today. It's definitely just perfectly aligned with what I do. But I just want to tell us to be okay with losing people, be okay with making those adjustments, because it is a part of the process.

Speaker 2:

Obstacles are going to happen.

Speaker 2:

It is a part of the process.

Speaker 2:

You turn those obstacles into lessons and that is going to help you continue to grow and pivot, whether you are on a personal journey, whether it is an entrepreneur journey.

Speaker 2:

But really, I really encourage people to get a mentor, to get a coach, something, because we always, especially as black women, feel like we can take on, as you said earlier, the world on our shoulders, but the world is now making it available to where you don't have. So I highly encourage you either listening to podcasts that are talking about personal growth and development, finding a mentor in your area, reaching out to somebody that might be aligned with where you're trying to go as an individual, but be okay with seeking support and be okay with it not being your family and friends, because that's one of the biggest things that I encounter is we want our family and friends to be our number one supporters, but that is 99% of the time not yeah, so okay with that. They can support you, but if they've never done the things that you're trying to do, they're not going to help you grow. So just be open and be open-minded to getting assistance and support outside of your already circle that you may have. So I encourage that.

Speaker 2:

It also goes back to the outdated values. But then I also know that a lot of people are dealing with their own struggles and let's be real, black mental health was non-existent 10 years ago. We didn't talk about that. We didn't put that out on the forefront. I love that. I talk about it more now.

Speaker 2:

I am on the board of directors for my local NAMI affiliate, which is the National Alliance of Mental Illness, for my local NAMI affiliate, which is the National Alliance of Mental Illness.

Speaker 2:

Hey, I'm going to talk about it because it needs to be talked about. So I love that we are embracing our imperfections when it comes to our mental health, when it comes to, possibly, mental challenges that we might be going through, and a lot of our families are going through that as well. So what I had to realize is there are some people that honestly just don't want to see you succeed, and some of those people could be your family and your friends, but you have to be okay with letting them go. When they show you their hand, they're not going to change that. If they show you, if they're negative towards it, you have people telling you oh, you shouldn't do that. Why are you going to do that. What are you going to do that for baby? They are negative people and you do not want them in your circle. As an entrepreneur, you are not going to grow listening to that feedback. That's going to intensify the already self-doubt that you might have going on in your brain.

Speaker 2:

So you have to find those that are like-minded. I suggest getting into other support groups, whatever field you're in, finding groups that have other people in there like that so you can get the encouragement from those that are like-minded. If you are an entrepreneur, you need to be around other entrepreneurs. Find a tribe of entrepreneurs because they understand you, they understand what you're going through, they understand the experiences.

Speaker 2:

You can't get that from your family and friends and, like I said, sometimes they don't want you to grow. They're okay with you being below, but once you're trying to thrive and get above, some people don't want you to be that way and that's their own insecurities that they're fighting with and you can't change that Is there.

Speaker 2:

anywhere our audience can find you, you can find me on all social media at Coach K Transforms. I'm on Instagram, I'm on Facebook, I'm on TikTok, I'm on LinkedIn. You can find all with that, coach K Transforms. You can find me on YouTube, my Upgraded Mindsets media channel, so it's just Upgraded Mindsets media, and then you can visit my website, which is UpgradedMindsetslife, and that's pretty much where you can find out more about my journey, what I offer. You can find out about upcoming events and stuff that I have ongoing, whether they're here in my local city or they're online, because I do virtual as well as in-person events. So, yeah, I would just say, pretty much, start off at upgradedmindsetslife, and that'll pretty much take you anywhere you need to go, okay.

Speaker 1:

I have one more question. How do you I saw that you had the in-person events how do you kind of plan for that and gather your tribe, so to speak?

Speaker 2:

So I do have. I have my link tree which I will update, and my subscribers on there will actually get notified when I've got upcoming events going on.

Speaker 2:

So that could be virtual as well as in person. But I'm also a community advocate and I have not only local clients but I have clients in, probably, I think, eight or nine different states right now, but also just being able to continue to show up. So I will just say, if you are an entrepreneur that is struggling with showing up, show up as your authentic self, make sure that you're doing that, because that's going to align and attract those who are supposed to be with you. So just be in that and be okay. If you have an event and it's two people, the next event might be 200 people. So being okay with that.

Speaker 2:

I've been hosting events for a couple of years now, so I have the audience. But for those that might be starting off, those that are trying to decide, be okay with starting small. You don't have to have these big shindigs out the gate and I think that's where a lot of social media will put it in. If you had my first event, my first event actually had about 20 some people, but that was a success for me because it was a free event. I was doing a free workshop and I generated that. So make sure that you're able to market, promote, and that's going to take some time out too, but really I would encourage you to invest in yourself. Invest in someone that can help you learn what your strengths, what your weaknesses are, because you're going to need that as an entrepreneur. You don't want to just wing it because that's going to burn you out.

Speaker 2:

So I just encourage doing that, because that'll build that tribe for you.

Speaker 1:

Do you have anything specific that you want to share with our audience of multi-passionate entrepreneurs?

Speaker 2:

Yes, absolutely so. I have a free guide that you can actually get an instant download. It is called the secret to developing an entrepreneurial mindset and what it is powerful tips and guidance on helping you instill the mindset of an entrepreneur, because the mindset of an entrepreneur understands that there's going to be obstacles. The entrepreneur mindset is going to understand that, yes, you can feel those emotions, but don't let them define and help make you give up. So it's a pretty powerful guide. It's got some powerful things in there, so definitely I'd love to guide. It's got some powerful things in there, so definitely I'd love to share that with your audience.

Speaker 1:

Okay, sounds good. Thank you for joining me today.

Speaker 2:

I'm very powerful and very passionate about disempowering other women, so thank you for giving me the opportunity.