S3 Ep.5: Sacred Spaces — Stewarding Relationships with Honor and Humility

Sacred Spaces — Stewarding Relationships with Honor and Humility

In a world that rewards hot takes and quick clap-backs, Jesus calls us to something better: honor, humility, and Spirit-led boundaries. This conversation gets practical about stewarding relationships—marriage, friendships, coworkers, ministry—like the sacred spaces they are.

In this episode

• How to honor people you disagree with (without going passive)
• Humility over pride: why connection beats competition
• Setting Spirit-led boundaries that protect, not punish
• Forgiveness as releasing uncollectible debt (Eph 4:32)
• Valuing people over preferences (Phil 2:3)
• Seeing every relationship as ministry (Col 3:23)
• Inviting the Holy Spirit into your daily interactions

Scriptures

Romans 12:9–18; Philippians 2:3; Ephesians 4:32; Proverbs 4:23; Ephesians 6:10–18; Colossians 3:23

Reflection questions

1. Where am I choosing preference over people?
2. What boundary (Spirit-led) would protect connection this week?
3. Who do I need to forgive—and what debt am I still trying to collect?
4. How does the Holy Spirit see the person I’m struggling with?

Weekly challenge

• Pray: “Holy Spirit, how can I honor someone today?”
• Put one boundary in place that preserves peace.
• Replace one criticism with encouragement—on purpose.

Connect

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Keywords: Christian relationships, honor and humility, Romans 12, Christian marriage, forgiveness, Spirit-led boundaries, Holy Spirit, conflict resolution, Christian leadership, faith and work, Ephesians 6 armor of God, Proverbs 4:23, Colossians 3:23, Philippians 2:3

Transcript

0:01

Are you ready to build a life, business and legacy that truly lasts? Welcome to Faithfully Invested with Allen and Stacy Jo Thorne, where Faith meets real talk. Biblical wisdom meets everyday life and leadership meets laughter. Together we will uncover God's blueprint for leadership, marriage, and mission, helping faith-driven leaders invest in what matters most. Each episode, we explore biblical wisdom, have real conversations, and of course, have some fun along the way because let's be real. Walking in faith is an adventure. It sure is. So pull up a seat, grab your coffee or your sweet tea, and join us as we steward our callings with intention, because when we invest in his kingdom, he brings the increase. Hey friends. Welcome back to Faithfully Invested, where Faith meets Real Talk. Biblical wisdom meets everyday life, and more often than not, leadership meets some laughter. Yeah, usually laughter is heavily involved, right? Uh, we love coming together to honor the Lord as we uncover his blueprint for leadership, marriage, and mission, uh, while helping others invest in what matters most. Right. And if you are, if this is your first time tuning in, we are so glad that you're here, first and foremost. And I'm Stacy Jo. I'm a business owner. I'm a speaker, I'm an author, and I am passionate about helping faith-driven leaders steward their resources with excellence. Yeah. I just sitting here and listening to that, and I know I, I live with you, but I gotta say I'm pretty darn proud of you, lady. Aw. You've come a long way. Well thanks babe. I'm pretty darn proud of you as well. Very special, very special lady. And I'm obviously not Stacy Jo. My name is Allen and I've spent, uh, almost 25 years in, in the corporate construction industry, and I also serve as reviving recovery unbound author and teaching pastor. And I've been blessed, uh, to write about, uh, my experience under and in the authoritative power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. Uh, for our restoration and our renewal as he's led us into freedom, like we've really never known. Uh, it's, uh, wow. Uh, but, and this is what fires me up the most is I, I love doing this podcast'cause we get to share our experience. But what fires me up the most is, is helping people discover their God-given identity and purpose. Everyone's got a purpose. We were created on purpose, for purpose. And you know, the, the question is, why am I here? Why are we here? Uh, and through Reviving Recovery Unbound, which is a call, I don't want to dig too deep into that, but the, the Lord blessed, uh. Blessed me and, and, and us really, uh, with the content, uh, the spirit driven content. Mm-hmm. A spirit breathe content of reviving recovery unbound. That really is a, uh, a guidebook for, uh, that points back to the guidebook that is God's word of, of who we are in Christ, discovering our identity and our purpose. Yeah. Well, and in case you haven't guessed yet, we are also husband and wife see, and Right. And we have been through, we've been through some stuff together. Y'all. A lot of stuff. Yeah. We've been through some, um, ringers. Right. Both the kind of. Things, you know, the trials that can tear you apart. Um, we've seen a lot of those. Yeah. And it almost did tear us apart and it's, wherever there's trial, there's a victory. Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, we have seen the kind of victories that only God could bring because Absolutely. We were almost torn, torn, torn, torn apart. Spread it out lady. And that's why this podcast exists. We're not here just to talk about theory. You can get theory anywhere. We want to talk about experience and we want to bring you real life. Bring, bring you along on our real life journey. Mm-hmm. You know, it's of how we actually do live. Faithfully invested. Through our God blessed life, right? And today we are talking about a con. We're having a conversation that touches all of us and it's about relationships, you know, whether it's marriage, friendships, coworkers, maybe it's friendships, or maybe it's ministry, connections, relationships, and ministry. Um, but regardless of the relationship, they are sacred spaces. And when we honor them. We approach them with humility, which can sometimes be difficult. Right. Right, babe. Yeah, absolutely. They can be some of the greatest, the greatest reflections of God's love. Yeah. Relationships are very important to the Lord, you know, and I, I found over, over time that when, when my relationship with him. Improves. Uh, when, when I draw near to him and he draws near to me, then our, our relationship, our, my primary relationship is with him. But then our, my, uh, sorry babe. You're number two. And that's what I love. That's, that's one of the main things I love about this lady. She's cool with being number two to Jesus. Yeah. And, and, and likewise. But, uh, relationships are pretty, pretty, uh, actually they're, they're pinnacle to the Lord. Uh, we were created for relation. Relation and, uh mm-hmm. Yeah. So when we're honoring our relationships, uh, in, in humility, we're honoring the Lord. Uh, but it, there's challenges through that, right? There's in every relationship, every every relationship has challenges. Yeah. Doesn't matter. You don't, you don't have to go too far to find a challenge. They're honoring people's. It's easy when we have, uh, common belief structures and, and interests. You know, it's easy, you know, honoring people that we get along with and that we agree with. And, and who agree with us, but what happens when we don't agree? Mm. Uh oh. Yeah. We haven't seen much of that lately. He said somewhat sarcastically. Uh, what happens when our beliefs, uh, don't line up? Yeah. With, with someone else's. What happens when what we know to be experientially true. It's challenged by others. What do we do then? Well, I think, you know, as we record this, we're recording it on the day of Charlie Kirk's memorial service. Yeah. And looking at what has happened over the course of the last 10 days. Yeah. 11 days, whatever. It's 11 days. 11 days, yeah. Give or take. Um, you know, seeing how people are not honoring. Each other, how they are, how the enemy is causing division, and using as we're gonna get into talking about pride. Using pride, yeah. As a tool, as a weapon to divide people. Yeah. And Charlie was so good. At honoring people, even if he didn't agree with them. Yeah. He would listen to them. He gave them an opportunity to speak and he would come back with biblical truth. Right. But, and. Go ahead. And something I saw on social media, which I'm really trying just anyway, trying, uh, to move away from actually, but I, I, they, they called Charlie a politician. And Charlie wasn't a politician. He, he, in fact, he said many times that he wa wasn't gonna run for office. I thought it would've been great if he did, but that's, he didn't believe that's where the Lord was calling him to. Right. And he wasn't a politician. What he was, was an evangelist and, and probably one of the greatest evangelists of our time, absolutely. Of my lifetime. He, he was bold and I, I don't know, there was a prominent, uh. Pastor who actually, and this is a bold statement, compared Charlie to the Apostle Paul. Right. Uh,'cause he was bold and he went out and, and he was knowledgeable. And, and I I love that these kids and, and, and, and the, on the universities and the college campuses where he went to, to peacefully debate them, uh, they would, they would pick on that, that would be one of their things. Well, you don't even have a degree. You're uneducated, but he was probably not, probably, he was absolutely more educated than, uh, than probably most of the professors on those campuses and, and truth. He was educated in truth. And when you have truth and when you stand on truth, you can debate lies and deception all day long. And Charlie was the best at that moment. He was. He really was. And you know, Romans 12:10 says, uh, be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves and notice it does not say honor those who deserve it. Yeah, it doesn't say honor those who. Only make you happy. Who only say the things that you want them to say. Yeah. Who only agree with you. No, it certainly doesn't say that. No. Uh, our world culture usually operates from a, a performance based honor system. Uh, if you meet my expectations, you're in, I'm gonna treat you well. But if you don't, if you fall short, eh, you can go over there. Yeah, performance based honor system's. Not, uh, that's not what the Lord was talking about at all. Um, kingdom standards flipped that over on its ear a little bit, and I think I'd, I'd be remiss, uh, if I, I just, if I didn't elaborate on your Romans 12 Yeah. Uh, reference, uh, Roman's probably one of my favorite. It's hard to pick a favorite of, of Paul's, um, epistles, but you know. You mentioned Romans, uh, 12:10. Mm-hmm. Uh, and that's where the justice starts. But Paul really lays it out, uh, all the way through, uh, Romans 12, and he gives us a lot to consider as Christ followers. Right. Uh, for example, in verse nine, he encourages us to let love. He, he's don't be. No. Uh, don't be hypocrites in our love. Let love be without hypocrisy. Right? Yeah. So that's a good one. Well, you know, it's necessary. It's, we're talking about relationships, so let love be without hypocrisy. Uh, verse 14, that goes back to the do what I say, not as I do. Remember, I, I can remember as a, as a child Yeah. Do what I say, not as I do. Yeah. And I always thought that was so confusing. But that go, I mean, that goes right along with that. That goes right along with that. That was certainly a, a hypocritical statement. Yeah. Right. Hmm. I heard that too. Imagination Will did. Right. Uh, so, but, uh, uh, Romans 12:14 suggests that we bless those who persecute you. Uh, bless and do not pay back. Uh, a blessed and do not curse. Uh, and verse uh, the, the latter part of verse 16 and the early part of verse, uh, 17 in Romans 12 teaches us to not be wise in our own estimation. Mm. And to never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Yeah. Anyone. Yeah. Uh, but here's the kicker. I'm just gonna say that's hard sometimes. I, I think that's hard all the time. Yeah. And I really think we gotta, uh, I, I love what anyone who's listened or watched us for a while knows that I really appreciate John Eldridge and, uh, that. It's, it, it is difficult. Yeah. But, uh, John teaches something in his new book, um, experience Jesus Really, uh, he teaches it on, on the, uh, associated, uh, um, app, the, the Pause app and the, uh, experience Jesus. Mm-hmm. Part of that app. Uh. Uh, benevolent detachment. Yeah. Uh, we gotta release everyone and everything to you Lord. And that's a daily thing, right? I release everyone and everything to you.'cause you know, life life's challenging and it's even more challenging as we go out and present truth. You know, I, um, and it's even more challenging the more relationships you come into. Absolutely. There's always more opportunity. Right. But back to the kicker. Yeah. Verse 18 is the kicker. He says, as much as it depends on me. Yeah. But Paul says you, but as much as it depends on, you live at peace with all men, live at peace with all people. Now there's your challenge. Right. That's a challenge. Uh, so take some time to digest that. Sit on that for a while. Mm-hmm. Simmer in that. Let that simmer, uh, we know, uh, Roman and get into Romans 12. Yeah. Dig into Romans 12. And, uh, yeah. Sounds good. It's a lot. It's a, yeah. Romans, uh, as, as a whole is, is brilliant. Uh, Paul, as his entire collection of EPIs is brilliant, but, uh, it's a lot to take in. It is a lot to take in. And that's a whole lot. It looks a whole lot different from the age that we're living in right now. It does. Especially what we've seen, you know, like we touched on before. Yeah. Especially what we've seen in the last. 11 days or so. Ab Absolutely. And the more the, the, the more I go, we go on the journey together. Mm-hmm. Uh, the Christ following journey, the more it makes sense that the word, uh. The infallible word of God is our playbook for life. It is, it is our playbook for life. But our flesh doesn't like that. No, it doesn't. And other people's flesh don't like it either. That's true. But it, uh, it does, it certainly does look a little different in this day and age. And, but it, but it doesn't, it, it looks this day and age looks different, but the word doesn't. Look different. God's the same yesterday. Today. Yesterday. Today and, and forever. Today and tomorrow. The word, the word doesn't change the right because truth, objective truth doesn't change. That's right. This isn't my truth. Yeah. This is the truth. Mm-hmm. And his name's Jesus. Absolutely. Um, you know, but, but our pride, our pride resists it. It's not one of the seven deadlies for nothing. I mentioned, I mentioned it before, and, and our culture nearly refuses it. Yeah. Um, but God calls us to choose honor over ego and humility over pride. He does. And that's tough because like you said, it, we have to die just ourselves daily and you know. Yeah. Yeah. That's what, it's what it really, and. It's not what I said. That's, that's not my No, no, I know, but what Jesus said. What you reiterated. Yeah. What you reiterated, reiterated the truth of the Lord's word is what Jesus said is that if anyone is to follow me, mm-hmm. If we're gonna follow Christ, we gotta deny ourselves, pick up our cross daily and follow him. That's what, that's what he calls us to do. Well, yes, and the doggos seem to want to be on the set today. So Hello. There are mask guards and Leia. Best pugs ever. Yes. We're, we're so, so glad to have you with us. But back to, to pride. Uh, yeah. Being's a little prideful when she, she wants what she wants when she wants it. Right. And, uh, and I guess we've played into that a bit, but pride is a huge blockade. Yeah. Uh, I write about it and, um. And, uh, reviving recovery unbound. We're not gonna dig deep into that, right? Uh, but it's a, it's a massive blockade in this day and age. Uh, but I gotta say. Much like everything else, God called it. Uh,'cause pride doesn't get much of a shout out through, through God's infallible word. Uh, it gets a pretty negative connotation, uh, from the old and through all the New Testament. Uh, a quick example of that would be, uh, Solomon's wisdom in Proverbs 16. Mm-hmm. That recognizes that pride comes before destruction. Hello? What? Yeah. You want destruction? Hold on to some pride. Hold onto that pride. Pride comes before destruction. And then, and then James, uh, in the New Testament, the tail end of the New Testament reminds us that God opposes the proud, but he shows favor to the humble. Yeah. So when we fail to steward our relationships with honor and hu humility, and, and let me, let me just say this. When, when we fail to honor, uh, our relationships with, uh, fail to steward our relationships with honor and humility, if we're not honoring our relationships, then we're not honoring our primary relationship, which is with the Lord. True. And if we're not, if we refuse to. To pursue honor and pursue humility, the fallout can be massive. And we see in, we see division, we see division in marriages, we see division in broken friendships and, and, and family relations, toxic workplaces, and even in the church. You know, don't, don't go thinking that the church is a perfect place for perfect people, or you'll be seriously disappointed. Uh, I, and I am kind of, kind of joking here, but kinda, uh, not I blame Burger King. I. In 1974, they had a, a slogan called Have It Your Way. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I looked it up as 1974. But a, a better, a better slogan would be have it Yahweh, right? Yahweh Notwe Your Way. Yeah. Have it Yahweh. But, uh, anyway, moving on. Oh my babe, you come up with some good ones sometimes. Yeah, I know. Your, your, your recollection of, of pop culture, like that kind of, you know, blows me away sometimes because I didn't even remember that one. I watched a lot of TV when I was a kid. This, so did I. Yes. But, you know, let's, let's establish that. None of us, including myself, do this perfectly. You know, none of us are perfect at living out Romans 12:10 in our everyday lives. Not even you. No. Especially not me. And I never, I would never even say that. I, I'm, I'm like. Even scratching the surface of perfection with that. Right. Trust us. There's no perfection here, folks. No, absolutely not. Right. But I think back, uh, this work relationships, yeah. I think back in this, uh, uh, to a relationship, uh, it was several years ago, uh, I had a coworker who irritated the heck out of me. Mm-hmm. I think I might know which one you're talking about. Well, you know, there's no need to present names here. No. Uh, his safety wouldn't, I wouldn't, uh, I'm, I'm a safety professional, uh, in corporate construction, concrete restoration and strengthening. Uh, and this dude's safety was level one at best. Mm-hmm. And there's, there's four level in the structural safety culture, but he was level one at best. And, uh, oddly enough, his guys never got hurt. But, uh, I, I'm gonna call that luck. Um, but, uh, and it and his, and his sarcasm concerning, uh, it wasn't pleasant. It was about as pleasant as nails on a chalkboard. And he was, he was a master at dodging accountability. Uh, he loved to play the blame game, and, and he was, he was very challenging. Yeah. To say the absolute least. Yeah, I remember, uh. Do you remember me coming home? I do, uh, a little frustrated at times. I, I, yeah, I definitely remember you coming home frustrated at times. I was gonna, I, I was trying to think of which one you, uh, exactly which one you're talking about. I think, I know, right? It doesn't matter, but it's just, there's been more than one, I guess is my point there. There have been a few, but you know, they're, uh, but there, there's a point here. Yeah. Um. I complained so much about that, and this, this is not, not to my credit, but you know, again, no perfection here. I complained so much about that. I got tired of hearing me whine about it. But, uh, but the Holy Spirit wouldn't let me off the hook. He kept pressing me. He said, Allen, look deeper. Yeah, listen to me and look deeper. See the person, not the challenge. Ooh. Yeah. So later I learned that you never know what somebody else is going through and that, you know, and I remember, uh, the proprietor of a paint shop that I worked in and the, uh. In the late eighties, early nineties in northeastern Ohio. And we, I used to butt heads with the shop foreman and he pulled us both aside. He is like, you guys are acting like boys. Cut it out. You don't know what each other's going through. Mm. You guys, you don't know who someone's going through. Yeah. So, um, she wants to say something, uh, clearly. Um, but back, back to the current, uh, scenario. Uh. The, you don't know what the, what the challenge was. And later I learned that this guy who was such a challenge, uh, that he was walking through a painful divorce. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And it was, uh, an atypical, uh, construction, tough guy persona. He masked everything in rebellious sarcasm. Uh, and suddenly when, when I, when I realized that, uh, his behavior made sense. It wasn't acceptable, but it made sense and I realized that I was missing an opportunity for ministry. I was missing a ministry opportunity. And, and, and I've had several ministry opportunities and yeah, in, in the, uh, construction field. Uh, but I was letting frustration, uh, outweigh compassion. And I was, uh, that's a tough place to be in. It is. So we, we did talk about Jesus and uh, unfortunately he wasn't too receptive, but I can say that the seed was planted and that's all you can do. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes that's all you can do. You gotta plant the seed and like let the Lord water it. That said, that's what the word says and yeah babe, that's powerful And yeah. You know, I've, I've had my own lessons in this and I, I, would I go back to our marriage, like, I would say, especially in marriage, because early on and even not so early on, you know, I, I wanted to win arguments when we would argue I wanted to be the one who won. Uh, sorry, I wanted to prove my point. Yeah. Okay. And, you know, pride, pride would say. If you back down, you lose. Yeah. If you back down, you lose. Yeah. Pride's a liar. And so I would puff back up and I'd come back at you and, you know, with words, it was always words. It was never physical, but, right. Yeah. Or we, but our, our, our, our, you know, our arguments that we have had. Yeah. Um, but humility, you know, humility taught me the opposite. Humility taught me that when I, when I softened my tone. Yeah. When I listened instead of speaking or reacting. Yeah. When I would respond instead of react right then, or when I would choose connection over competition. I love that. Yeah. Connection over competition. Yeah. I've always been kind of a competitive person from since early on. Right. And uh. It was kind of inherent in my nature, right? But, um, sometimes I would just have to walk away and pray over the situation. And when that would happen, when I would walk away, when I would humble myself to walk away and get into prayer about it, then we would both win. That's it, that's what the Lord says. That's what the Lord says is, uh, humble yourself before the Lord and he'll lift you up. Right. You know, he, he'll show you the way. And I, and I like that. What that really says to me is that he'll lift you up, is he'll lift you up past, uh, the, the challenge that you're in and, and be able to see the bigger picture, right. I'm not sure if that what James meant, and I'm not really sure. That's just what in this moment and what it really means to me. He'll lift you up to see past the challenges. Yeah. He'll lift you up maybe to show you his perspective. Well humble yourself before him and he'll lift you up. And when he lifts us up to that point, that was the point where we could come together and we could pray together. Yeah. Over the situation. Yeah. Not just me praying by myself or you praying by yourself, but when he lifted us up. To that point where we could see the bigger picture. Right. Then we could come together and, and pray together. Right. And then the enemy really got a kick in the face. Yeah. Winner, winner family dinner. Right. Right. Here's right, here's another struggle. Um, people views honor with passivity. Mm mm-hmm. Newsflash folks. Jesus was not. Passive. Alright. And we're not called, we're called to love and, and present the truth and love, but we're not called to be passive. We're not called to tolerate, uh, nonsense. Right? Uh, so, uh, I think that's why he flipped tables in the, in the temple, right? I, I think he was, yeah, there were, there were boundaries. And, we'll, and we'll get into that here in just a minute, but, um. People think that, uh, if, if we're gonna honor someone, then we have to be the yes guy. We gotta say yes to everything. Mm-hmm. Uh, we gotta tolerate unhealthy behavior, not the case. Uh, Proverbs 4 23 says, above all else, guard your heart for everything flows from it. Yeah. Uh, likewise, over time we've been able to connect Ephesians 6:14. with Proverbs 4, that tells us to put on the breastplate of righteousness. Mm-hmm. For those who don't know, I would say, how do you not know that? Ephesians 6 is about the armor of God? Come on, the full armor of God, full armor. But right now we're just talking about the breastplate of righteousness. So Proverbs 4:6 says above all else, guard your heart. In Ephesians 6:14 says, put on the breastplate of righteousness, uh, among the full armor of God. What does the breastplate do? Oh, it protects the heart. It guards the heart, right? It guards the heart from the flaming arrows of the enemy. Well, that, yes, absolutely. Mm-hmm. It, it, it does do that. It's, and the scripture actually says, uh, that that's the, the shield of, of faith that we guard the, the flaming arrows. But the, the Eldridge, um, he's. He has a, uh, on the wound, John Eldridge, imagine me quoting him and, and I'll just, this won't be a, a verbatim, but he says, uh, we all as men, uh, we all operate, uh. From a wound, and that wound is most likely, uh, given to us as a boy, as we took arrows to our hearts, and those arrows were most often given by our father. Mm. Yeah. I get chills just thinking that. Yeah. But it's the, uh, but it's, it is the shield of faith, uh, faith that Christ is who he says he is. And I, I'm a little in the weeds here, but It's okay. It's all right. Um. Uh, as faith increases that Jesus Christ is the son of God. That, that he, that his Holy Spirit is living in. In this house, yes. And in, in me, and in you and in our daughters, and in our family, uh, whoever, uh, declares with their mouth, uh, that Christ is Lord. They have the Holy Spirit and, uh. That, uh, that's the truth. Yeah. There, that's the, uh, the, uh. I kind, I I, I'm gonna kind of apologize here. I lost my train of thought, but I get caught up in, in who? The faith. Mm-hmm. Having faith. I, I, I, as we mature and he's showing Stacy and I so much about ourselves and how we're maturing in our walk, and it's, it's, that in and of itself is so humbling. As, as, as. Our creator shows us that we're, we're, we're growing. Yeah. Uh, but back to the, the full armor of God, the breastplate guards our heart. Uh, but more importantly, as we're. Uh, so we gotta put on the breastplate of righteousness, right? The helmet of salvation, you know? Mm-hmm. The belt of truth. The shoes of peace. The, the shield of faith. Shield of faith that does, uh, guard us against all the flaming arrows of the enemy. Yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah. And, uh, and take up and wield the sword of the spirit. That is the word of God. That and the word of God from. Genesis to Revelation says, Jesus Christ is Lord. Yes. It points everything back to God. Yeah. God says me first, love your Lord your God, uh, with all your heart, mind, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. Yeah. Alright. Um, so climbing, uh, back onto the fairway, uh, his, so it is the breast plate of righteousness and. Uh, the Holy Spirit brings when, when we confess Christ as Lord, the Holy Spirit brings his righteousness into us. Yes. And it's his righteousness and, and, and his righteous. Jesus makes us righteous before the Father, right? And it's his righteousness that guards our hearts so that we can honor him and how we address conflicts and how we honor relationships with each other. Does all that make sense? I hope I brought that together well. Oh yeah. Absolutely. I mean, uh, and, and, and simply put, guarding your heart, I means setting spirit led boundaries. Yeah. It's not dishonoring to say this behavior isn't okay. Not Stacy led boundaries, not Stacy led, not Allen led, not Allen led, but Holy Spirit led boundaries. Holy Spirit led boundaries. Right. And it is o you know, I have said to Allen this, this is not okay. Like what is happening right now? Not right now, but at that time when we're having conflict, right? What is happening is not okay. Right. And it's in fact more honoring for me to say that to you because it protects the relationship that we have instead of. Me letting resentment build up inside and then, you know, resentment on top of resentment. On top of resentment. And then, my goodness, that's ugly. You know? Then it's like a garbage disposal where you, you know, shove it all down in the garbage disposal. Right. But you never let go and turn on the switch and allow it to be gone. Yeah. There's a lot of, and eventually it comes back up. Yeah. There's a lot of nasty bacteria in all that trash. Well, I'm sure there is. Yes. It's, it's in, it's in. Yucky. Yucky. Yeah, it creates a mess. Very messy. But it's more honoring for me to say to you, this behavior's not okay. It's not acceptable. I'm not okay with this. And for you to say to me, now, that's not to say that. We love it. I don't know that I receive it. Well, when you say to me, nor do I, I think my common, uh, and, and, and don't, please don't mistake that we're sitting over here and, and divine perfection. We, we have our challenges too. And that's, we love to share our challenges mm-hmm. And our victories.'cause wherever there's a challenge, there's a victory when you put Christ at the center of your relationship. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh. And I think my normal response to, to you at times is whatever Stacy. Yeah. And, uh, you're, or you're so perfect. Must be great being so perfect. Anyway, anyway, I haven't said that in a long time. So, not a long time. Yeah. Long. It's a long time. That was years ago. Yeah. Years ago. But yeah. Anyway, uh, moving on, we know both sides. Yeah. We do know both sides. Yeah. And, and we've let boundaries slip and Yeah. And we paid the price with, mm-hmm. With, uh, burnout and bitterness. The neither are of the Lord. Right. But when we, when we decide for pride, we can count on, on burnout and bitterness. Mm-hmm. Uh, when we decide for resentment, uh, unforgiveness, we can count on burnout and bitterness. Right. We can count on that heaviness and that that's a burden we weren't born to bear. Yeah. You know, that's actually the burden that he came to bear. So we gotta release everyone and everything to him. Thank you John Eldridge for your Ben. Uh, yeah. Benevolent. Detachment, detachment. Um, uh, but we've also gotta set healthy boundaries and uh, and when we do that, we experience deeper respect. Uh, even if it was hard in the moment.'cause it's, it's gonna be hard. Mama mama used to say anything worth having or anything worth doing is, is worth the challenge. It's gonna be hard. Yeah. So friends, uh. It's most often the challenge, the most challenging times, uh, that require us to do the right thing. Yeah. The largest challenge, req, the largest challenges we face re require us to, to honor each other and honor, honor the lord, honor each other and do the right thing. But it's, uh, it's so much more fulfilling when we do that and, and, and. Emphatically less condemning, uh, over the long run because we wouldn't be sitting here today if we'd have continued on with the condemnation and, and the, this, that and the other. If we'd, and. If we'd have walked in the opposite direction, then, you know, we wouldn't have done it. Mm-hmm. We've, we opted for the wrong thing, but, but we didn't. Yeah. We, uh, we chose to stay. Yeah. Uh, repent and move forward. Yeah. And, uh, confess, repent. Yeah. Receive, you know, all, all that good stuff that, that he has for us. Receive his truth and, and keep moving forward and in, and it pays off emphatically in the long run. Uh, so we can keep growing, keep growing, and it's not easy. And no, he never said it was easy. Mm-hmm. And I, we've said this in podcasts before, other episodes, that it's, um, it, it's, it's not easy. Jesus said You will have trouble. Right. But take heart. Yeah. Have courage. I have overcome the world. Yeah. So, I mean, the struggle is real. I mean, honor and humility are absolutely beautiful. But they are absolutely costly. Yeah. And they require us to, like I said earlier, they require us to die to ourselves, daily, to forgive quickly, and to walk closely with the Holy Spirit. Uh, and I don't always die to myself quickly. I'm just gonna be brutally honest. I'm gonna be raw and real. Like I say, I'm going to be, um, I'm getting better at it, but it's still a process. Yeah. And it's taking me less and less time most of the time, depending on the situation. But, you know, a few weeks ago, and I don't even remember what, what prompted it. I posted a Facebook, I posted on Facebook a quote that I had heard earlier that day, and I'd probably heard it before, but I didn't really remember. But you know, the quote says you can't offend a dead man. But I went on to say, because there had been something that had triggered me that day and I went on to say that, um, although I am called to die to myself daily, that. I either had not died for the day or some people just knew how to raise the dead because, right. That's the way I was feeling. And folks, it's really hard sometimes. Yeah, it can, it's really hard. Sometimes it can be, and it takes, people know, some people know the right buttons to push and that comes back to healthy boundaries. Yeah. That comes back to healthy boundaries and you, and we gotta know when to, to take a step back. Mm-hmm. And, uh. Yeah, we gotta know when to take a step back and say this, this isn't healthy here. Uh, you're not, you're not one, you're not hearing truth. Mm-hmm. Right. And, uh, and I, uh, and, and back to the benevolent detachment, you gotta release it, letting them go. You gotta, you gotta release it and, uh, you have to release it. Yeah. And, uh, and let the'cause really, we're not. We can debate all day long and we, maybe we will change a mind or maybe we won't, but we're not, we're, we're not gonna change a heart. Right. The only one that's gonna change a heart is the Lord. Yeah. You know? So if, if they're not, if, if they're not receiving that, then Right. Then we pray. Yeah. And we pray, wow, we're, we're presenting truth, but, you know. Mm-hmm. We gotta, absolutely. We gotta stick, stick with, uh,'cause he's, he's the one. Yeah, that's kind of, well, let's get really practical. Let's get practical for a minute. You know, okay, I'm done with practical and how we got some solutions. We don't just have, right? The, we have, we, we don't, we're not just here for theory and, or stories. Or stories where we got some, we got some solutions, you know? Yeah. Some, some stuff that's worked for us. But how do we stored relationships with honor and humility? How do we do that? I'm gonna, I think we have a few steps. One of my, one of the biggest lessons I've learned is valuing people over preferences. Mm. Now that sounds like an absence of pride. Yeah. Uh, and pride falls away, man. Uh, but value people over preferences. Don't let small annoyances steal the bigger picture. Uh, love all of Paul's work. Philippians two, three reminds us to value others over ourselves. Mm-hmm. And that means overlooking inconveniences for the sake of building strong relationships. Mm hmm. That was, that was good. Yeah. I, I, uh. Means overlooking inconveniences for the sake of building and increasing strong relationships. Uh, so what really matters is in the end, is how we loved God and how we love others through our Christ following journey. That's it. And. Another practical way is to forgive quickly. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I know you love, I know you love the topic of forgiveness. Yeah. You know, but forgiveness is like releasing someone from a debt that they can never repay. Yeah. Ephesians 4:32 says, be kind of compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ, God forgave you. Yeah. So forgiveness doesn't excuse the hurt. It just frees you from carrying it because we were never meant to carry it. Right. He took it to the cross. So why are we still carrying it? Right. Carrying that it's, it's not our burden to bear when someone hurts us. Yeah. You know, and, and we've said it before and we just discussed, you know, and unbound this past week we just talked about it was forgiveness week day. Yeah. And it's your, it's your two favorite. Uh, the two favorites chapters chapter, the chapter's nine and 10 forgiveness. Yep. And we talked about forgiveness and, and laying that person down and going back to, you know, seeing that person the way God sees them. Yeah. Yeah's a that's a great question. We have some experiences with that personally. Yeah. This, this last few weeks. Yeah. This, yeah. Absolutely. And that's a great question to ask. Uh. And I was in a, in a, a group in our healing session earlier this week. Mm-hmm. And, and, uh, one of our elders, he, he posed the question, uh, I was so, I was very heavy. Uh, and he said, Lord, ask the, he is man, ask the Lord. Lord, how do you see this person? Mm-hmm. Yeah. The rest is a conversation for another time. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great question. So if you're challenged with someone, you know, as the, get quiet with the Lord, you know, we've talked about our quiet spaces, our sacred spaces, our secret spaces. Mm-hmm. Get quiet with the Lord, uh, daily. And if you're challenged, you know, take that challenge to the Lord and ask him, Lord, how do you see this person? And what he shows you might shock you. Yeah. So 100% right on. So what else you got? So this is three, yeah. Yeah. Three. Uh, set spirit LED boundaries. You know, we kind of joshed about that a little earlier. Not Stacy led boundaries, not Allen led boundaries. Right? Uh, it's not me or you led boundaries, but Holy Spirit led boundaries, uh, boundaries. Check this out. Boundaries are not rejection. Their protection. Oh, blammo. I'm gonna give you a blemo on that one. That's right. I got a blammo. That's a blammo. I'm, I'm taking that. Blammo is better than a gold star man. Right on. Boundaries are not rejection. Their protection. Uh, we've mentioned several times protection for you and maybe protection for them. Could be right? Could be. Yeah. Um, well, we've mentioned several times how Jesus modeled this. Uh, there were, uh, you, you see in the gospels time, after time after time that he withdrew from the crowds and he went to be alone with the father. Uh, and that wasn't dishonoring the crowds. That wasn't saying, I don't, I don't have time for you. That was wisdom. Because you know Jesus, even as he was God, he was human and he had to go release everyone and everything to the Lord, and and, and Father, what you'cause He was here. Mm-hmm. To do the father's work. He was here to fulfill the father's plan. So you gotta get with the father to see what the plan is. And he knew this, so it was very wise for him to, uh, spirit led boundaries are very wise, uh, for, for us in this day and age, just as it was for Jesus back then. To get away and get with a father. We gotta get away to our quiet spaces and, and get with the spirit and say, what do you say about this? Yeah. What do you say about this? Yeah, because most often it's not at all what I got to say about this. You don't want to hear what I got to say about this. You know, our core verse and, uh, and we'll move on, uh, to the next one after this, our core verse, it really Romans 8:6 to walk in. Um, and sometimes I want to just spout out stuff into flesh, but Romans 8 says, to, to live by the flesh is death. Death as we know it, as Christ followers, a separation from God. And we, we certainly don't want that to live by. The flesh is death, but to live by the spirit is life and peace. Now, if I got a choice between death and life and peace, I'm going with life and peace. Amen. That's it. Yeah. Alright. So another step or another solution is to see every relationship as a ministry. Mm-hmm. Your marriage if you're married. It's not just companionship. That marriage is actually a covenant that reflects Christ and the church. Yes. And that comes from Ephesians 5. So go read Ephesians 5 and check that out. But likewise, friendships aren't just for fun, right? Uh, friendships are to sharpen us right as iron sharpens iron. Proverbs 27:17 and workplaces. The paychecks may be great, but they're really a mission field. I can hear someone out there saying, or maybe they're not, or maybe they're not, but that's not the point. It's not, the point isn't the paycheck. Right. It's workplaces aren't just about the paycheck though, right? They are mission fields and Colossians 3:23 says that whatever you do work at it with all your heart as if you're working for the Lord. Yeah, and that includes how we treat people. And sometimes in the workplace, it's just not easy. Yeah. We need the Lord to view that as a ministry. Yeah. Um, but when we do, but when we do blemo, yeah. Yeah. That's good. For sure. That's good. Absolutely. So, uh, so, uh, last but not least. Alright. I, I would hope it would go without saying, but you know. A practical solution. Invite the Holy Spirit into your dailies. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Invite the Holy Spirit into your dailies. Open the day, man. You are welcome. And my dad, I mean, he's with you anyway. Mm-hmm. Might as well, might as well open it up to him. So, and, and ask him, say, Lord, how spirit, how can I honor this person today? If you're challenged with someone mm-hmm. How, what if you're challenged with an answer? Uh, if you're challenged with a, a, a, a solution, how can I honor the team today? How can I honor this person today? Lord, how can I honor you today? And how I handle conflict, or how I handle, uh, my companionship, how I handle my relationships, uh, how can I honor? Because if we're honoring the Lord, then we're honoring everybody else, right? Yeah. And don't forget to take time to listen to what he says. It's more, it's more than, more than speaking. We gotta listen to see what he says. We gotta, when we ask him, we gotta wait for the answer, right? Mm-hmm. So, so sometimes it'll be encouragement, uh, and sometimes he'll say, hold your tongue. Aw, hold your tongue. Yeah. And, uh, to be continued. Yes. Sometimes it's simply just being present. You know, I was sharing with guys, uh, we were talking about, um, suicide awareness and prevention in the construction industry, and I was saying, guys, we don't have to, we don't have to have solutions. You know, we don't have to have all the answers. Sometimes it's just being present. Sometimes, sometimes we don't have to say a word at all. We just have to be willing to listen confidentially, you know, if, if someone needs someone to talk to. Um, but my point is when when we invite the Holy Spirit in, he shows us how to love. Beyond our natural capacity. And that's what I'm talking about. I love, uh, another one of my favorite pastors is, is Joby Martin. Right? And, uh, natural capacity, he's Joby says that he goes, God slaps the super on the natural and makes it supernatural. It's, uh, that's the good stuff right there, mom. That's the good stuff. But, you know, when we honor God's word. In how we steward relationships. We're being more than, we're being more than kind. Yeah. We're actually being kingdom ambassadors. Yeah. And who doesn't wanna be a kingdom ambassador? I wanna be an ambassador for the kingdom. And we're showing the world that Jesus, how Jesus looks and everyday interactions. Yeah. It's more about just being nice. It's more about just being nice. It is more about just being nice and uh, it means that. Now we stand on his truth. We stand on his firm foundation. Mm-hmm. We embrace Christ as the cornerstone. So, and, and, and as he's the foundation, we, we build from there. He's the firm foundation is what the word says. And the cornerstone, as we build from his cornerstone, we, we build our relationships plum and level. Right. You know, from a firm foundation, you know, and. And he'll show us. Uh, and as we stand on that foundation, he'll show us what the truth is so that we honor him always. Mm-hmm. We honor him in, in love. We honor our, our friends, uh, and, and coworkers and, and anyone that we're in relation with, uh, we honor him as we share his truth with them. Uh, yeah. So we home and it's all about, and when we share it, it's, it's. There's an absence of pride there. We wanna share it compassionately. Mm-hmm. You know, not a Yeah. Humbly. Yeah. Not a humbly share. Not pridefully. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I mean, honor and humility that there just aren't optional extras, uh, for Christians. I mean, there evidence that the spirit is at work in us. Yeah. And if we can't show that the spirit's at work in us, then we need to go back and we need to check ourselves. Are we. Where are we? It's important to check ourselves. Mm-hmm. It's important to hold ourselves accountable and it's important to, to be willing to be held accountable. Yeah. Um, that's, that's really a testament to our character. Right. Um, so encouragement. Mm-hmm. So we got some encouragement. Yeah. Some weekly encouragement. We always like to leave you with weekly encouragement if your relations are feeling strained or broken. Don't give up. No man. The enemy sure wants you to give up on that relationship. He wants nothing more than for you to give up. Yeah. Don't give up. God specializes in restoring what seems impossible. He is the God of impossible. 100%. And, uh, and like I said earlier, we're not gonna change your heart. Only he does that. So, so if you're not making headway there, you know, remember bound boundaries. Mm-hmm. You know, and, and prayer. Yeah. Uh, prayer. And start small. Yeah. I mean, forgive someone you've been holding a resentment against. Release them. Yeah. You know, choose to speak life instead of criticism and ask the Holy Spirit how you can honor someone like Allen said, honor someone in your world today. Or maybe even ask the Holy Spirit, like, like you said, holy Spirit, how do you see this person? Yeah. It's a big deal. It's such, it's so eyeopening. That's, that's a big question. And after, you know, you shared, you shared that vision with me that you had Yeah. And I, that was like. Wow. For me. Yeah. Yeah. It wrecked me. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, so we gotta, as we're winding down here, it's, it's important to understand that relationships are sacred spaces. Mm-hmm. Our marriages, our families, our friendships, our coworkers. Mm-hmm. Uh, they're all sacred spaces. And when we approach. Then with honor and humility, we create space for God's presence to dwell. Yeah. So friends, thank you for spending this time with us on Faithfully Invested. If this episode encouraged you, uh, would you just do us a favor? Yeah. What favor do you want, Allen? I think I would like I if you could do me a favor. Us us a favor. I'd like you to hit subscribe so that you never miss an episode. That's right. And leave us a five star review. Five star review, your five star reviews, and your, and your, your words. Uh. Your reviews really help us, uh, reach more faith-driven leaders who want to build their life, their business, and their legacy that lasts. That's it. And don't forget to share it with someone who needs encouragement in their relationships today. Absolutely. So until next time, keep investing faithfully because when we do invest in his kingdom, he brings the increase. He brings the increase. God bless you. See you next time. Take care and God bless. Thanks for joining us on Faithfully Invested with Allen and Stacey. Joe, if today's conversation encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you see your calling more clearly, don't keep it to yourself. That's right. Share it with a friend. Leave a five star review and keep leaning into God's blueprint for your life, your leadership, and your legacy. So until next time, remember, when you invest in his kingdom, he brings the increase.