Forgiveness: Healing from the Top-Down **Bonus Episode**

Forgiveness: Healing From the Top Down (Bonus Episode)
This listener-requested bonus episode dives deep into one of the most essential Kingdom principles Jesus gives us: the three-part, top-down order of forgiveness. Allen and Stacy Jo unpack why forgiveness begins with receiving God’s forgiveness, moves into forgiving ourselves, and finally empowers us to forgive others authentically and freely.

Through transparent conversation, biblical teaching, and Allen’s powerful testimony of reconciling with his father, this episode reveals how guilt, shame, and resentment keep us stuck — and how the Holy Spirit leads us into emotional healing, spiritual freedom, and restored relationships.

In this Episode You’ll Learn:
• The biblical mandate for forgiveness
• Why self-forgiveness is often the missing step
• How resentment “short circuits” spiritual growth
• How to identify and release emotional debt
• How to partner with Jesus for inner healing
• What authentic forgiveness looks like
• Why forgiveness leads to peace, freedom, and healthy connection

The 3-Part Forgiveness Framework:

1. Receive God’s forgiveness
2. Forgive yourself
3. Forgive others

Self-Forgiveness Questions to Reflect On:
• What is the debt I believe I can’t repay?
• What emotions surface when I face that debt?
• What does Jesus have to say about it?

Key Scriptures:
Matthew 6:12, Matthew 18, Romans 8:1, Psalm 32, Colossians 3:12–17, Isaiah 53, 1 John 1:9, John 14:6, Luke 10:19

Mentioned in This Episode:
• Reviving Recovery: Unbound — our ministry for Holy Spirit–led healing and restoration begins online on February 2, 2026. 

Register here:  https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSclrfQGngBMXXVttqK1timLOkJ453tZudafBcd6xgN4oF5C2w/viewform?usp=publish-editor

Purchase your Reviving Recovery: Unbound book: https://a.co/d/fKP6rFA

Purchase your Reviving Recovery: Unbound Journal: https://a.co/d/fKP6rFA

 • Navigating Your Storm — Allen’s story on forgiveness (United Men of Honor anthology) https://a.co/d/fKP6rFA

If this episode encouraged or challenged you:
• Share it with a friend who may need breakthrough
• Leave a 5-star review so others can find the show
• Message us your prayer requests — we would love to pray for you

Tags: forgiveness, Christian emotional healing, Christian inner healing, Holy Spirit healing, faith-based recovery, Christian marriage, Christian leadership, resentment healing, Reviving Recovery Unbound

The Kingdom LeadHERship Conference 2026 is happening January 31st in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. This one-day, Spirit-led experience is for Christian women in business and leadership who are ready to step boldly into their God-given calling.

🎟️ Tickets are limited. Sponsorships are available.

👉 Get your ticket now:   www.acbw.org

Reviving Recovery: Unbound starts online Monday, February 2nd at 7:00 PM We worship, we learn, we break out into gender specific groups and we journal with. Each other and with the Holy Spirit. If your heart is stirring listening to this, pay attention Healing begins here. Click the link below to join us at Reviving Recovery Unbound starting February 2nd.

www.revivingrecovery.com

See you in the room!

Transcript

0:01

Are you ready to build a life, business and legacy that truly lasts? Welcome to Faithfully Invested with Allen and Stacy Jo Thorne, where Faith meets real talk. Biblical wisdom meets everyday life and leadership meets laughter. Together we will uncover God's blueprint for leadership, marriage, and mission, helping faith-driven leaders invest in what matters most. Each episode, we explore biblical wisdom, have real conversations, and of course, have some fun along the way because let's be real. Walking in faith is an adventure. It sure is. So pull up a seat, grab your coffee or your sweet tea, and join us as we steward our callings with intention, because when we invest in his kingdom, he brings the increase. Hey friends, welcome back to Faithfully Invested, where we help you steward every part of your life with Jesus at the center right where he belongs. And today we're jumping into something that's, uh, core essential for all relationships, including the relationship with ourselves. Today we're talking about forgiveness. Yeah, we sure are. And we are not talking about that casual. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine. Forgiveness we're not never about superficial anything. No. We're talking about the deep holy Spirit, heart level healing that only comes from Jesus because he died to give it to us. And babe, this topic is really big because in Unbound, so those of you who don't know, we have a ministry called Reviving Recovery Unbound. And. That ministry, you lay out the three parts, the basically a three part order for forgiveness and it, it's life changing. It really is, and I, I would say thank you for that. It's life changing because it, it's not an unbound thing. Right. It's, it's a word of God thing. Yeah. You know, that I didn't just come up, Hey, let's forgive people like this. That's how it's, uh, right. That's how forgiveness is laid out, uh, in the word of God. Mm-hmm. Through the gospels. Uh, the very, the synoptic is the Gospel of John, uh, and, uh, and God's word. So, yeah, that's, um, people don't necessarily think of it as three parts, though. Right. Some people usually miss, uh, miss some of it. So yeah, let's get into that. Uh, biblically speaking, forgiveness is. It's clearly designated, uh, it's, it's a relationship essential. Mm-hmm. From the top down, which is the first. From the top down means from from God to us. You know, we first must receive God's forgiveness for us. Uh, so that that's our, our pastors and, and mine favorite two words in the Bible so that, uh, we can forgive ourselves and that's what some people miss. Some, if not most people miss the forgiving ourselves part. Uh, and we're, we're gonna dig into that a little later, but we receive God's forgiveness so we can forgive ourselves and we must forgive ourselves so that we can go on and, uh, forgive others. Uh, as we have been forgiven by God through Jesus Christ, uh, this is rightly ordered, uh, from the top down. And if it's, and if we don't address forgiveness in this manner, uh, then the, then the whole thing, short circuits, then we wonder why we're, we're challenged with resentment. Yeah. Um, so we're gonna, we're gonna get into a series of questions, but before we get started. I got a question. Okay. Um, I, I'm wondering, I'm wondering if you got the memo, uh, so did you get the memo that 1984 called and they want their jacket back? Wait a minute. I, this is just a jean jacket. What is wrong with the jean? With the jean jacket? I like my jean jacket. Right. I don't pay attention to fashion. It's very, it's very 2025. Is it? It is. All right. Wow. I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to ask for Veronica. Wow. Veronica's our daughter and our fashion consultant and I think I'm gonna have to forgive you on that one. Yeah, for sure. I'm probably wrong here, but thank you. Before we for the forgiveness Oh yeah. Before we jump into it though, I just wanna. I just wanna make it known that this is a bonus. This is like a bonus episode. I mean, we have our invested blueprint. Mm-hmm. But someone had requested that we talk more about forgiveness. Right. And we're always interested in what you want to hear. So, you know, make sure that if there's something that you wanna hear, drop us a line. We, we wanna know, we want to be putting out content that you want to know more about. So yeah, the forgiveness and. Was a big one that yeah, it's, it's good that they wanted to know about and that it was right on time because we just finished a season. Mm-hmm. And before we went into the next season. Yeah. Uh, we can talk about what y'all want to hear about and That's right. Today we're talking about forgiveness. Yeah. So, and there was something that I was gonna say too, and now I don't remember what it was. So, well that's okay. Let's just move on. Why don't we just launch into question one. Okay. You know, the first question, well, the first question was about my jacket, apparently. Well, you know, question two then. Okay. You know, but, uh, did I get the memo anyway, but, uh. But hey, it, I think I'm still working on the forgiveness for now. It. Wow. So, alright, uh, bringing it down, what the, the real first question is why does forgiveness matter so much in a Christ follower's walk? Oh, well, I think you've said it best in the past when you said, because Jesus said so. That's it. I mean, he didn't present forgiveness as a suggestion, he said, and when he was teaching the Lord's Prayer, he said, forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors. Right? So. Then he adds in the, the heavy truth that the father won't forgive us if we refuse to forgive others. Now that doesn't sound like, like a suggestion to me. That doesn't sound like a, if you want to, right. Maybe you could forgive, right? Or if you, Hey, if you feel like it. If you feel like it. Oh no, don't get into that. You know, get into the feels, but you know, forgiveness. It is essential to life with Jesus and with others, or with him, you know, God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. It's essential to life with them and with others, for goodness is absolutely essential. Yeah. And Jesus put it that way. Mm-hmm. Forgiveness, uh, you gotta forgive others or your father won't forgive you. That's heavy. That's, that is a hard truth. And, and it really displays the gravity. Of, of forgiveness, how important it is for proper relationships from the top down. Yeah, for sure. So it's really, you know, and forgiveness really is, it's a part of stewardship. Yeah. You know, we steward our hearts by keeping them clean, soft, and, and honest before the Lord. So let me throw this one at you, babe. Why is it so hard for believers to receive God's forgiveness? Hmm. That's a good one. Well, yeah, I asked that. It's so, so hard to receive God's forgiveness. Um, I would say because guilt and shame are heavy burdens. Mm. Guilt and shame are heavy burdens to bear. And the enemy, the enemy of our souls. And I say this a lot, y'all know we have an enemy, uh, his name is Satan. And, and he will use these heavy burdens. Uh, for example, guilt and shame. He'll use those against us for as long as we allow him to do so. Uh, but in Christ, we have no business carrying guilt and shame because Jesus bore that on the cross. But, and here's the question, this, do you believe that? We'll get in in another episode later on. We'll, we'll get into what we believe because what we, what we believe at our core, that's, that's how we, that's what we operate from, right? So do we believe that Jesus bore, uh, our sins bore our guilt, bore our shame, bore our physical infirmities bore our emotional health. Uh, do we believe that? So bringing it, I wanna take it back to David and, uh, in Psalm 32, uh, when he said that when he hid his sin, his body wasted away and his vitality drained. Mm. Now that sounds like depression. It does sound like depression. You know, when he hit, when he, when he hid his sin? When he didn't confess his sin. Yeah. You know, he said, my body wasted away and. My vitality was drained. Um, and that's what guilt and shame does to us. Mm. Uh, so why would we wanna hold onto something like that? But if we keep reading in Psalm 32, we'll see that, uh, David declares in the latter part of verse 10, but he who trusts in the Lord. Yeah. Yeah. Loving kindness shall surround them, but I love that. But he who trusts in the Lord. Yeah. David, David, I mean, David recognized his humanness often, and, and, but he always brought it back to trusting in the Lord. Mm-hmm. Even he, it would, sometimes, it would, he would, and face down, but he, he comes back to, but he who trust in the Lord loving kindness, shouts around them. Be glad in the Lord. Rejoice your righteous ones and shout for joy, he says. Hmm. Uh, all of you who are upright in heart. So my question, do you want to be upright in heart? Everybody? I wanna be, I wanna be upright in heart, so try on some confessions, some repentance and trust in the Lord's forgiveness. Now the sec confession and repentance, people are like repentance, right? Repentance is somewhere along the line. You know, the enemy has confused, uh, the general population on repentance, and people think, Ooh, repentance. That's hard. I don't want to do that. But repentance is simply changing your mind. It's making that 180 degree say, I'm not gonna do that any longer. Father, forgive me. Thank you for forgiving me. Uh, I confess this to you. Thank you for forgiving me of that. I'm gonna turn from the sin and I'm gonna walk the opposite direction and follow Jesus. That's repentance. Yeah. And it, it's, we, we make it harder than it is. Right. And, and isn't it wild? You know, we tell God what he already knows, but that confession when we confess to him, that opens up the door to the forgiveness and to the cleansing. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's, it's part, part of, uh, we gotta release it. Confessing it is. Releasing it. Yeah. Releasing that and, and throwing it in the light. Mm-hmm. You throw, you throw. Uh, you open a door and you flip on the light. Uh, if there's, if there's bugs in there, they're gonna scatter, you know, and that's, you know, yeah. Resentment's like a cockroach. Ooh, it scatters in the light, baby. I don't like in cockroaches, we gotta throw it in the light. And so David addressed it in, in Psalm 32, but John also addresses it in his initial epistle and, and. Chapter one, verse nine. He says, if we confess our sins, he meaning God, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. Yeah. He's faithful. He is always faithful. God is faithful. God is just, and he's already prepared to forgive us. Yeah. Uh, but we often stay stuck because we're being deceived that we can't be forgiven. Are, are you stuck in that one, that lie, that the enemy's holding against you? I'm, I've gone too far to be forgiven. Uh, that we're, nobody's gone too far. This is a news flash. If you hear nothing else today, nobody's gone too far. Nobody's out of the reach of Jesus Christ. Right. Uh, and but if you're choking down that lie, if, if we, and I choked down that lie for a long time, I've done too much to be forgiven. And I was, I was. Initially Dece deceived by the enemy, proceeded to deceive myself. You know, I was on cruise control and deceiving myself, you know, uh, I was doing, I think you've all been there. I was deceiving myself, so I was deceiving myself so much. The enemy's just, he is like this, just let him go and, uh, yeah, he's already not good for the kingdom, but, uh, but God, right. Moving on. You know, we got to, we gotta get honest with God and we gotta release the lies. To him who came to carry those burdens, and that is Jesus Christ. Yeah. Okay, so I wanna go onto the next question. My question for you is, why is, so, you know, you talk about the three part, you know, receiving the forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves and then releasing the forgiveness. But why is self-forgiveness so difficult for people? That's a great question. Uh, a lot of people miss this one, uh, because not forgiving. Not forgiving, put it, not forgiving ourselves is like saying, God, your forgiveness is good, but it's not good enough for me. Mm-hmm. And that is that, that's. Some would call it backwards theology. I, I'd say there's no theology in that at all. That's, that's a meteorology. Um, so we're, we're stuck on ourselves and, and we, uh, Christ paid it all. You know, I, I had a, a friend once tell me that, uh, that I was beating up God's property. And I, I want to go into the story just a little bit, uh, early in my recovery, uh, I was pretty, I was stuck in condemnation. And, uh, my, my dear friend Jonathan, who's my, my first sponsor, my only sponsor really, uh, he, um, he's like, he, he got tired of it. He's like, dude, you, why are you beating yourself up? So why, why, what's with the self-condemnation? And then he hit me with Romans. There's no condemnation for those who are found in Christ Jesus who loves us. And uh, and I'm like, and uh, he goes, do you believe that, you know, the Lord's work on the cross, uh, has forgiven you? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, of course I do. He is like, sure don't sound like it. Right. And he's like, you're saying, he goes, you're what? You're what's coming outta your mouth? And that's, that's what's in our hearts. That's what was in my heart.'cause from the heart. Flows, whatever, uh, whatever comes out of our mouth comes from our heart. Mm-hmm. And comes from our belief. And uh, and, and he was right in the time and, and he's like, you're, uh, he goes, it doesn't sound like you believe that you're forgiven by God through Christ. Uh, it doesn't sound like it. He goes, he goes, you've been bought with a, a price. You've been bought. You belong to God. You were bought. You became a child of God when you said, I, when you receive Christ as your savior, and, and at that moment you were bought by the blood of Christ. So that mean means, like I said, you belong to God. He goes, and so what you're saying here is that his work's not good enough for me. That, and he goes. And I would go and he said, bro, I'm just saying you got no business beating up God's property. Mm-hmm. And that, that hit me like a two ton heavy thing. Because you were bought and paid for. I was bought and paid for. Right. But, but what I was saying, yeah. What I was, what I was really believing inside, I, I was, and it comes with faith, uh, or maturity in our faith in Christ. And, uh, and sometimes we need to, uh, we need someone to tell us the hard truth and, and that's what a, and what a great sponsor he was and what a great friend. And I really need to get down there and see him. Uh, but, um, but a, a friend will tell you what you want to hear, but a great friend, a brother will tell you what you need to hear. And that, uh, the, the fact is if, if God has forgiven us. Past, present, and future, then who are we to keep condemning ourselves? Yeah. Right. And say, are we better than God? Are we better than Jesus Christ? Certainly not. Wouldn't that be making?'cause if we put anything above him, it's an idol. Right. So that would be making ourselves an idol. Yeah. If we're not willing to, well, it would be ma, it would be idolizing resentment, self resentment. Yeah. So we got, it's important to release ourselves. Right. Release ourselves of that debt, and we're gonna get into that here a little later. Yeah. I mean, you know, going back, you, you said, you know, Roman, you quoted Romans 8:1, I think, you know, that says, there's no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Mm-hmm. That means none. It says, no condemnation. It doesn't say there's a little condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. It says there is none. That means zero, zilch, not a, you know, and, and yet. Zero. And, but yet we keep dragging around. Like you said, we keep dragging around what he already carried, you know? Yeah. That cross, he took that cross so that we could be free of that. Absolutely. It's, it's time. Isn't it time that you release it? Mm-hmm. Release it. Yeah. And I would encourage you to take, to gulp down a healthy cup of. Grace. Grace. Grace. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd like to go a little bit deeper here, and I got a question for you. All right. Uh, so what happens when we hold on to unforgiveness or, or resentment? Same thing. Different word. Yeah. What happens when we hold on to resentment? Yeah. I've had some experience with that. And uh, the most common analogy is that it's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, right? I mean, unforgiveness, it, it creates war division, anxiety. It can create bitterness, hatred, and I think I've probably experienced all of those, but the worst war is the war happening inside our own hearts. Right. And I, I would say we both lived in that war zone for a long time. Quite a long time. Absolutely. And I, I think this is a good lead in to your story that you tell an unbound about, and it's honestly one of the most powerful moments of the whole chapter. Yeah. Where you're talking about your father. So how did God reveal to you that you still carried resentment towards him? Yeah, I, I wrote about this and I, there's, there's a pieces of that story and I'm bound, but I also, um, with United Men of Honor wrote the, the full story in navigating Your Storm. Uh, you can check that out on Amazon Doc. Uh, amazon, amazon.com. amazon.com. You don't even have to redo it. the.com. Everyone's got the Amazon. Amazon, everyone knows. But, uh, navigating Your Storm, uh, the visionary authors of that one was, um, uh, Kenny and, uh, Asad. Asad. Rashad, yeah. Yeah. Asad, Rashad, uh, powerful Men of the of God. But so I wrote on how, uh, so I just. I was well into my recovery. I worked a solid, solid, uh, fourth and fifth step. Mm-hmm. And, uh, I was still so very angry. I mean, and, and dad had a lot of pages in my fourth step and some serious time in my fifth and, but I was still so angry. But I'd done all this work and I'm just, and I'm just. Fit to be tied in my office one evening. And, uh, and I'm like, Lord, why? Why am I so angry? Why am I still angry? I did all this work. And he's like, you need to forgive your father. You need to forgive your dad. Mm-hmm. And I was like, I have Right, right here. Yeah. And uh, and, and it, right when I said right here, I had my, my four step tablet full of, uh. Resentments and forgiveness and, and he said, yeah, but you haven't forgiven him to your face. And yes, the Holy Spirit said this to me, um, and revealed, that's why I was still angry. Um, I thought, thought I remember. I remember that happening. Yeah. You were sitting right there when I came out. Um, so he said, you have to forgive your dad face to face. And I thought I had. Uh, but there was still this subconscious resentment that was buried, uh, under years of just pushing it down and survival. And, uh, and, uh, and dad and I had a good relationship at the time. I talked to him often. Uh. We, I mean, the conversations always ended with, I love you. Mm-hmm. Uh, but it, like I said, it was, it was pushed down, it was suppressed, uh, subconsciously. And, uh, and the Holy Spirit revealed that, and we'll talk more about that later. And, and that, that conversation ended with the Holy Spirit said you have to go to Ohio now. This was June of, uh, 2017. Uh, so I, so I flew to Ohio. Mm-hmm. I come out here and, and you're like, what's going on? You thought something and I told you the story and mm-hmm. And my awesome wife booked a, a plane ticket right then and there, and yeah. And uh, and so I went to Ohio. I flew there and after. After, you know, some hugs and some dad would, that was big on the big smooch, right? On the right, on the kisser. Just like, just like, uh, bug's Bunny. And, uh, he was big on that. And, uh, so after that and the small talk and that he, he, I didn't tell him why it was coming and the pizza, don't forget the pizza. That was after, oh, that was after. If we were in, uh, we were in Lake Milton, Ohio, actually. North Jackson, Ohio. Yeah. And if you know, and if you don't know, uh. That's very near Austintown, Ohio, which is where Wedgewood Pizza is. So, uh, if, if you're ever in Austintown, Ohio, Wedgewood Pizza. Right, right. Best on the planet. Yeah. Back to the story. Right. Um, so I, I, uh, I told him I was like that. I was like, he didn't know why he came. So we got down to it and, uh, I went there specifically for. To forgive him. And we got over the, the little stuff and, and I said, uh, I just laid it out. I was like, dad, for the most of my life, uh, through, through my recovery, uh, over the last several years, I, I learned that most of my life's fear came from your violence and neglect that started in that old yellow house out there in, uh, in the country. But, uh, and he looked at me and he's like. He said, I know. Mm-hmm. Yep. And I, uh, I said, but I did not come here to condemn you. We've both done enough of that. I said, dad, I came here to forgive you. Yep. Uh, still chokes me up, obviously, but me too. And, uh, and the tension in the room broke because there were, there was, there was tension because you don't just fly to Ohio for no reason. There was, there was tears, there was healing, there was compassion and understanding. And the Holy Spirit lifted the tension in that room instantly. Mm-hmm. And it was, uh. One of the, the greatest moments, uh, relational moments, uh, of my adult life. Yeah. Yeah. And one, one small little d not so small though, but it was Father's Day and you didn't know. Yeah. And I didn't, I didn't, I was so focused on just yeah. What was, how we were gonna do it. Uh, I was really caught up and I got this at the time and, uh, and all along the Lord, the Lord had it. Yeah. You know, it was the Lord's plan and I didn't realize that it was, it was. There was Father's Day. Yeah. And, uh, so I got to, uh, that was awesome. Yeah. Anyway, got to make amends and, and mend those, those wounds. Yeah. Uh, yeah. On Father's Day, I mean, that we talked for hours. Yeah. After that it was, it was so good. That's the Holy Spirit. That's not behavior modification. I mean, that's total transformation. Yeah. Yeah. And later, um. Yeah, we're not hear this, we're friends. We, we love you. Mm-hmm. And we're not about behavior modification. We're not about, uh, anger management. It's not, our anger isn't anger's a secondary emotion and it's not up for us to manage that. It's up to us to release the lie that, that, that stems from. And, and again, we'll get into that, uh, later, but, um. It was, it was so cool.'cause Right, dad passed in, uh, 2022. 2021. 2021. Yeah. Yeah. October, uh, 2021. And, uh, right before he passed, um, it was, it was Christ's forgiveness that empowered me to go, go love him, uh, without anxiety, fear. I was up there for probably a little over two weeks, uh, helping him get stuff in order. Uh, and, uh. And I, I li I was in, in his living space. Uh, and I was able to do that without anxiety, without fear, without anger, even when he was challenging. And, and I would say that dear old dad was still a bit challenging. Yeah. He'd lived on his own for a while. Uh, and he was still challenging, but, but his, his, him. It didn't affect me the way it used to because when he used to raise his voice, it just struck fear in me. Right. And, and, and I gotta get out of the room. But I was able just to sit down and talk with him about it or, or just let him be and. You know, come back a little later, uh, not come back, but just keep doing what I was doing. It didn't affect me. There was no anxiety, fear, or, or rebuttal, uh, necessary. And that's what forgiveness does. Yeah. That's the long version of what, uh, forgiveness does. It removes the emotional sting. Yes. Uh, that the hard memories and the lies carried away from those hard memories creates. Right. And, and it's proof of real inner healing. And I mean, we'll talk about. You know, later we'll talk about, not in this episode, but in another, another episode we'll talk about inner healing. But, um, here's, here's where it really gets practical. So how do Allen, I'm gonna ask this to you. How do we begin receiving God's forgiveness like today? Like right now, like in this very moment? You know, God's a big fan of honesty. You think? I think he requires it. Uh, so first it's honesty. We gotta get honest. Uh, with, with what we're dealing with. Uh, so honesty. Short, short version. Mm-hmm. Short version. You guys ready? Ready for a short version. Honesty, confession and repentance. Oh my. You know, and if you got that honesty, confession. Repentance. Oh my. And if you get that, you know, you're at least as old as us, but, uh, but, uh, and believing. It all comes down to what we believe and believing that Jesus paid the full debt. He paid for every sin. He paid for every failure. Uh, he paid for every wound. Uh, Isaiah, the prophet Isaiah. They, they didn't, he's top of the list of the major prophets. Uh, he's seven to 800 years before Jesus Christ was here on Earth. He said that Jesus carried our sickness. He carried our emotional pain, and he carried our disobedience and our selfishness. He carried all of it. All of it, and we receive. Yeah. His forgiveness by confessing and believing that he meant what he said. He meant that he is who he says he is. And I say that. I say present tense. He's not was who he said he was. He is who he said he is because. My Jesus is alive and well. Yes, and the tomb is empty. And what one of my favorite pastors these days says, Joby Martin at a church of 1122 in Jacksonville, Florida. If the tomb is empty, then anything is possible. Amen. Yes. So let's talk about how we can move into self-forgiveness, because you know that's tough for a lot of people, not everybody. Can for, I don't wanna say not everybody can, but not everybody knows how Yeah. To forgive themself. It's easier, I think a lot of times to forgive someone else Yeah. Than it is to forgive yourself. But we're not, we're not able, if, if we dig into that biblically, we can say we forgive other people. Mm-hmm. But we got, you can say it. Or you can believe it and, and the, and the proof is in the pudding. When they walk into the room, how do you feel? Right. And authentic forgiveness isn't possible for someone else. If we haven't forgiven ourselves, if we haven't released the debt that we thought that we could not repay. Yeah. Uh, then we're not able to move forward, uh, to forgiving others authentically. Yeah. And I think when, when you think of the scripture that says. Um, love your neighbor as yourself. If, if you haven't forgiven yourself, do, are you really loving yourself? No. To the point where you can love others. So it goes, they're love and forgiveness or Yeah. They go hand in hand. They're intrinsically bound. Yeah. Together. Right. They're, you can't have one without the other. Yeah. Agreed. So what was that, that question? You, me, a question. So my, so, so my question was, how can we move into self-forgiveness? Self-forgiveness? Yeah. Uh. Three things. Mm-hmm. You gotta ask yourself three things. What is the debt that I believe that I can never pay off? Number two. Second thing we ask ourselves is what emotions surface when you think of that debt, when you face that debt? When when you're triggered. You know when, when you're triggered by that. What emotion surface. And this is, we talk about this in Unbound. This is really the core of Unbound. It's not about what? It's not about counseling. It's not, it's not about what we think. It's about what Jesus thinks. And this brings us to the third thing that we would ask ourselves is what does Jesus have to say about it? What in our quiet time and silence and solitude, um, what does the Holy Spirit, uh. Jesus have to say about the debt that we're holding onto that we need to take that debt to Jesus. We need to first, we need to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal that debt.'cause you might not know, right. I walked around and, and, and the early part of our marriage was to tumultuous, to say the least. Yeah. And uh, and I remember you saying, you know, why do you act that way? Mm-hmm. What is the matter with you? And my common answer was, I don't know. And you really didn't. I didn't. No. And uh, that's, and that's a long story for another time, but I, I had not released a debt. Mm-hmm. Um, and so, so we gotta release that debt. We gotta let the, I, I didn't know that the Holy Spirit had to re had to reveal that debt. Mm-hmm. He had to reveal that lie that I was believing. And he took me back to, uh, I was like seven years old. Mm-hmm. It was between five and seven years old. And, uh, and like again, story for another time, but we had, we gotta, once the Holy Spirit reveals that debt, we gotta release that debt to Jesus, because as Christ followers, as believers in Jesus Christ, wherever the Holy Spirit takes us to where the debt is. Uh, Jesus is there with us, right? And we, and we have an opportunity. We must release that to him because he's the one that came to carry it. And as we release the debt to him, it leaves space to receive his truth. Capital T truth, the, the word says that, uh, actually the word, the word is Jesus, right? And, and he says, I am the way, the truth and the life. So we. As we release the lie to him or the debt, it leaves room to receive his truth and let that truth fill the space where the lie once was. And it's all about experience, right? It's all, it's not, it's all about experience. I get wound up on this because I, I've experienced. Time with Christ and it's changed my life. Our time together has changed my life and it, and it'll do the same for any one of you who decide to sit with him and release the debt to him. Yeah. One experience at a time. His truth truly does set us free. It absolutely does. I mean, you and I are both, yes. Living proof of that. Living proof and you know, I can think of my own experiences where I was able to release those things and you know, go thinking back to our marriage initially, you know, like you said, it was tumultuous and it was because we had both carried in things from our past into the marriage that had really. Right. Really affected the way we communicated, the way we or didn't love or didn't communicate. Orate. Yeah. The way we loved one another or didn't love one another. Right. Um, I mean, we did but show it. Yeah. We didn't always show, show it. We had a lot of work to do. We had a lot of work and God has really done. An incredible where we we're not perfect. We still have a long way to go. In fact, you know, we had to practice forgiveness just last week. There is with one or another, there is no perfection outside of Jesus. Christ's right. That's right. You know, he's not looking for progression. He is looking, he's not looking for perfection. He is looking for progression. That's it, you know? That's it. So. My, my next question for you is, how do we forgive others authentically and not just in words, because it's easy to say, sometimes it's easy to say, I forgive you. Mm-hmm. But it's not necessarily heart level. Right. It's surface level, it's, eh, I forgive you. So yeah, we, well, we, to make peace sometimes we just say it to make peace. Well, there's no, there's no peace in suppression and that's what we gotta do. There's yeah. Uh, we're either suppression is, we're pushing it down into our subconscious re repression is we're just lying to ourselves and saying it's not there. And so we gotta, we gotta stop pushing it down. We gotta, you know, we gotta stop sweeping it under the carpet.'cause it, it starts to stink. Yeah. When it's under there. And, uh, we gotta start plain and simple. We gotta start, we gotta get real. Mm-hmm. With forgiveness. We gotta get real with what we need to release the resentment. And that we gotta stop playing patty cake. We just gotta get real with it. Yeah. Uh, because the negative emotion surface, because we're wounded by the lie that the enemy has, has us believing. Uh, and if you don't believe that, I would say that the negative emotion surface because we're wounded by the lie that the enemy of our souls has us believing. He got, we gotta kick that fool to the curb, right? And stop giving the enemy of our soul so much credit, so much play in our life. He only has the power over us that we allow him to have. Do y'all know? You know, I know. You know I do. Do you know? That Jesus Christ has all the authority from the Father. He was given all authority in heaven and on earth. And more than that, it's, he says in Luke's gospel, uh, that ge that he gives that authority to his believing disciples. Not just the casual, you know, Christian, uh, but believing disciple. So are you a believing disciple? Are you walking? Behind Jesus, are you following Christ?'cause those are the people, those are the ones that he gave the authority to, to trample on the demonic, the snakes and the scorpions and to stand against all the power of the enemy. And he says, nothing will harm us. So, so we gotta stand, we're we as Christ followers? Mm-hmm. And believers in the One True. And living God and His Son and the Holy Spirit. We gotta stand on the truth and we gotta fulfill his forgiveness mandate. And here's how. First we gotta name the debt. What did they do? What did they do? All right, next, we gotta name the hope. All right? This is what we had hoped they would've done. This is how we had hoped it would've gone. All right, so, and where's Jesus in all of this? We gotta welcome Jesus into the, into our, our, our hurt. We gotta welcome him into our lonely places. We gotta welcome him to, into every space of our life. And we sit with Jesus. Where is he in that memory? And we gotta let him share we, and we gotta release. That lie or that debt to him and receive his truth. And we got, and that will shift our perspective to compassion. Yeah, to truth. And as we might be believing a lie Now he'll, he'll exchange that. Lie for his truth. The capital T truth. And then we, then we get to, then we get to operate from the truth and it entirely changes our psyche entirely changes how we. How we operate. Mm-hmm. And, uh, we can get into roots and fruits later. Yeah. But, uh, authentic forgiveness, uh, is when the emotional charge is gone. When the anger is gone, when that person walks in the room and, and the hair doesn't come up on the back of your neck and you, and you don't wanna punch them in the face. Um, and, and we can love. The emotional charge is gone. And we can love without fear, without anxiety, without anger around those difficult people. And you know who that is, right? Yeah. So, and, and that's choose forgiveness dec decide better than that. Decide for forgiveness, right? And, you know, uh, Colossians 3 teaches put on compassion, on kindness, put on patience, and, and forgive. As the Lord has forgiven you. Yeah. So again, it's a command, it's not a suggestion. Yeah, absolutely. But, and, and it ties right into the great commandment, which is to love the Lord your God with all your, all your heart, your heart, mind, and mm, and strength and heart, mind, and soul. Mm-hmm. And love your neighbor as yourself. It ties, ties right into that love and forgiveness again. Intrinsically bound together. They sure do. So let's end. I'm gonna ask you one final question about forgiveness, because we always like to give, you know, some sort of call to action or a, or a step that our listeners can take, right? So what is one step that our listeners can take today to begin this forgiveness journey? Well, I'd say you have to start at the top and, Hmm. And ask yourself, have you received God's forgiveness? Yeah. Have you received it? That that's our, that's our first move in the, in the right direction toward forgiveness is receiving God's forgiveness today. Confess honestly, and let, and, and release, release whatever you're holding onto to him and let him lift the guilt, the shame, the condemnation, uh, from there. Uh, ask, ask the Lord to show you. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you who you still need to forgive and what debt that you're still holding onto and where he wants to take you, uh, in that moment. And, and, and if you're willing to listen, he's willing to reveal and speak. Yeah. You know, I think of Jesus's teaching to Peter where, you know, he said 400, you know, seven times seven, seven times 70, which, you know, we think, oh, well that's, yeah. Or 70 times, what was it, 70 times seven? Peter Peter's like, I, I kind of envisioned Peter like, oh, frustrated. He is like, how many times do I have to forgive my brothers? Ah. And he is like, and Jesus is like 70 times seven. He's like seven times. And Jesus is like, Pete, please Pete. Seven times 70. Yeah. And uh, but that doesn't mean 490 times, literally. That doesn't mean you can say, I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you. You know, that does nothing. But he said, no, no behavior modification here. Right, right. But it's a Hebrew picture of complete wholehearted forgiveness. Right. And a heart wholly true to the Lord. So, you know what we wanna tell you today is forgiveness. Is freedom. Yeah. Forgiveness will restore relationships. It will heal emotions. It will align your soul with the Holy Spirit. Yeah. The spirit, the capital S, spirit, and forgiveness offers a new paradigm shift. Yeah. Or a world, a new worldview. Right. Um, what do you want? Do you want war or do you want peace? I mean, that's the question you can ask yourself. Some of some people are probably listening today and they're sitting in victimhood turmoil. Yeah. We don't wanna live that way. We're gonna opt for his piece that is found in only the forgiveness for us, so that we can release ourselves and go on to release others by forgiving them, right? And again, these are essential moves towards forward facing freedom. That's it. Freedom. We can't have forward facing freedom. Without forgiveness. Without forgiveness. That's a bumper sticker. It is. It's better than a bumper sticker, but that it'll look good in the back of my truck. Right? Yeah. But I, I, you might have to see about getting that done. Right. Uh, but so we Go ahead. We are, uh, we're so grateful, uh, for y'all. Uh, we're grateful for what one, first and foremost, we're grateful for what the Lord's done. Mm-hmm. Uh, and each of us, and, and together, and. Uh, we'd love to hear how he's working in your life. Yeah. Uh, and please know that we love you and we're praying for your breakthroughs. Mm-hmm. And, um, if you, if you've gained something from this, if you've gotten something out of this episode, uh, please share it with someone you, you think might, uh, might also, uh. Who wouldn't benefit from forgiveness. So thanks for sharing, uh, the episode. Thanks for downloading and subscribing. And just remember when you stay faithfully invested, he always brings the increase. He does. Absolutely. And if there's any way we can pray for you, send us a message and let us know how that is. We would love to pray for you. Absolutely. God bless you all. God bless. Travel safe. Bye-bye. Thanks for joining us on Faithfully Invested with Allen and Stacy Jo, if today's conversation encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you see your calling more clearly, don't keep it to yourself. That's right. Share it with a friend. Leave a five star review and keep leaning into God's blueprint for your life, your leadership, and your legacy. So until next time, remember, when you invest in his kingdom, he brings the increase.