Authentic Faith Shines Brightest in Difficult Moments | Allen & Stacy Jo

In this episode, we explore the power of discipleship through adversity. Discover how tough times can shape our faith and strengthen our ability to support others.

Key takeaways:

* Adversity is a powerful teacher in discipleship.
* Authentic faith shines brightest in difficult moments.
* Trusting God during trials can inspire those around you.
* Your pain has a purpose and can comfort others.

Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
00:10 The role of adversity in discipleship
02:00 Learning through tough times
05:00 God never wastes a trial
10:00 The importance of community
15:00 How to support others through struggles
20:00 Conclusion

What's your biggest challenge with discipleship? Drop it in the comments!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Are you ready to build a life, business, and legacy that truly lasts? Welcome to Faithfully Invested with Alan and Stacey Joe Thorne, where faith meets real talk, biblical wisdom meets everyday life, and leadership meets laughter.

Stacy Jo 1:03

Together we will uncover God's blueprint for leadership, marriage, and mission, helping faith-driven leaders invest in what matters most.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Each episode we explore biblical wisdom, have real conversations, and of course, have some fun along the way. Because let's be real, walking in faith is an adventure.

Stacy Jo 1:22

It sure is to pull up a seat, grab your coffee or your sweet tea, and join us as we steward our callings with intention. Because when we invest in his kingdom, he brings the increase. Oh, I'm glad you knew who you were.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

I've got it done.

Stacy Jo 1:50

And I'm Stacey Joe. And today we are going somewhere that might surprise you a little bit because when most people think about discipleship, they picture all the good stuff. You know, the growth, the breakthroughs, the moments where God's presence is clear and everything is just peachy. You know those moments, right?

SPEAKER_05 2:10

I do.

Stacy Jo 2:11

But today we're gonna talk about what happens through the hard stuff. Like the painful and confusing times when you feel like anything but a discipleship opportunity.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Yeah. Been there. Been uh been uh friends.

Stacy Jo 2:29

What we've And you probably have the t-shirt because all the what she's saying is I have a lot of t-shirts.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

Anyway. Thanks.

Stacy Jo 2:41

Yes, my love.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

I'd I'd throw I'd here, I'd throw away all my t-shirts or I'd give them away, uh, but I'm afraid she'd take up all that space in my closet.

Stacy Jo 2:52

It might.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

It might. But anyway.

Stacy Jo 2:56

We digress. Desperate.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

Hi, how are you? Anyway, what we've learned through our experiences that um one of the most powerful things God ever deposits in people watching us, it doesn't happen when everything's going well. Uh, our very best learned observations happen when things are falling apart. When you choose to trust God anyway, through the storm, right?

SPEAKER_05 3:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

This is the truth that nobody can argue with. Nobody can argue or experience. Today we're unpacking why adversity might be the most transferable thing you own. Are you ready?

Stacy Jo 3:40

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Here we go.

Stacy Jo 3:43

So, first we'd like to start with something relatable. Think about the people that have had the deepest impact on your faith. And I'd be willing to bet that for most of you, like me, at least one of them shaped you not through what they taught you in the good life, but how they operated through the tough times, right? You watch them walk through something that should have broken.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Right.

Stacy Jo 4:09

But it didn't. And something shifted in you because of it.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

Absolutely. And that's what we're talking about. Right. That is discipleship through adversity. And it's one of the most powerful discipleship means because it can't be faked. You can fake enthusiasm.

Stacy Jo 4:26

Right. Yes, you can.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

Absolutely. You can fake having it all together.

SPEAKER_05 4:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

But you cannot fake authentic peace in the middle of a storm. You can't fake it. You cannot fake trusting God when the skies fall.

SPEAKER_05 4:48

Right.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Right.

SPEAKER_05 4:51

Mm-hmm. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Uh when your peeps witness your authenticity, when when they see how you handle it, when you decide for faith in the moment when fear makes more sense, uh, that's what hits deep with them. That's what that's what transfers faith. That's what grows faith as as they see you through it. As they see you follow him through it. And uh that's something that, you know, sermon after sermon of ser after sermon can't. It just can't touch it.

Stacy Jo 5:27

No. But here's what we think a lot of people miss. You know, most folks see their tough stuff as interruptions to their assignment. And they get sidetracked by thoughts like, well, I'll get back to discipling people once I get past this. Right. But the tough stuff is the teachable moment. Right. That's the teachable moment of the assignment. Have have you ever learned a lesson while you're tripping the life fantastic? Probably not. You know, that's not that's not typically when you learn. You learn through the tough stuff. Right. So what are you gonna do with it? How are you gonna walk through it? Who are you gonna let into it with you? Who's gonna who are you gonna let into that mud with you?

SPEAKER_05 6:13

The yuck.

Stacy Jo 6:14

The yuck. Because this when walked out with Christ before us is one of the most kingdom significant works that we will ever do.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Yeah, I agree with that a hundred percent. I know that's that's why we do this together, because we've we've been through the tough stuff together. You know, we so we just celebrated 15 years.

SPEAKER_04 6:36

Yes, we did.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

And we have seen some tough times.

SPEAKER_04 6:39

Yes, we have.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Yes, we have, and and y'all know that God never wastes a tough time. Not one of them. Uh, he never wastes a trial, he never wastes a loss. Every season that that stretched us beyond what we thought we could handle, he was building something at us. And and what he built, it's now available to comfort, to equip, and to strengthen someone else.

SPEAKER_05 7:05

Right.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Uh someone else is coming through the same stuff that that he saw us through. This is his design. This is the the design of discipleship. Uh and this is exactly what 2 Corinthians 1 is talking all about. Uh Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 1, I just love the apostle Paul now.

Stacy Jo 7:25

I know you do.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Paul, he struggled. He was in a lot of struggles, he and a lot of trials, and you know, and it was it was uh it was that that honed him into the arguably the greatest uh apostle evangelist of all time.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

So Paul writes in 2 Corinthians chapter 1, verses 3 and 4 blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our afflictions so that we might be able to comfort those who are in the affliction with the comfort with which we uh ourselves have been comforted by God. God comforts us in our affliction, God comforts you in your affliction so that you can go on and comfort others. Your pain has a purpose beyond you. God never wasted pain. It's producing the what he's doing is producing something in you that someone else desperately needs, and that's experience and truth.

Stacy Jo 8:35

Yes, and his intentional plan changes everything about how we must look at life's tough stuff. It is not just something to survive. No, it is something God uses to equip us for a future assignment that we may not even be aware of yet. The comfort he gives us in our darkest moment is not just for us. It's going into a storehouse that he will draw from when he sends us someone who is in their darkest moment. And that's the economy of the kingdom. As you said, nothing is wasted. He doesn't waste anything.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

We led in Celebrate Recovery many, many years ago. And I love what John Baker wrote, Celebrate Recovery. He said, God never waste a her.

Stacy Jo 9:19

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

Never waste a her.

Stacy Jo 9:21

He didn't waste mine, he didn't waste yours.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

And we and what and the hurt that he revealed in us and the the he revealed solutions. Right. Uh when we were able to release the pain, release the uh the hurt, and and he provided solutions so that we can go on and share that experience with others.

Stacy Jo 9:45

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 9:46

And and this kind of rolls into what uh I really appreciate Paul's uh I call it the sweet stuff truth.

SPEAKER_05 9:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

I uh I I love all the Paul's stuff. Uh actually there's nothing in God's word I don't appreciate. Sure. But uh Romans, I I'm really partial to Romans. And so Paul's sweet stuff truth in Romans that we're talking about today is Romans chapter 5, verses 3 and 4, where Paul lines out the process. Uh he writes that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. And that's not a quick sequence. It's it's a short sentence. It's a short sequence in writing, but it's not as it's not a quick sequence and as we'd live it out. It's uh it's actually a long one. But every move of it is producing something real and transferable.

SPEAKER_05 10:42

Right.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Uh endurance is the ability to keep going when everything in you wants to quit. And that gets passed on to the people who observe endurance in us. And that's what we want to do in discipleship. We want to pass it on. That's right. And in the character that Paul's writing about is the kind of character that only gets formed under pressure, and that gets passed on. And then there's hope. Hope is.

SPEAKER_06 11:08

I love hope.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

This hope is not a it's not we're not talking about wishful thinking, but a deep, settled confidence in God. And and you guessed it. Hope it's passed on. And the hope. There there's the endurance, and then there's the character, but the hope gets passed on more uh powerfully than almost anything else. It's that it's aren't we, we're looking for the hope. But there there's a there's a uh a pattern, there's a plan to get to the hope. Endurance. But it's character, hope. And but I I want to keep going here uh to get to Paul's blam. Uh and he continues in what we know as as verse five, and he says, This hope does not put us to shame, does not put us to shame. Some version says, does not disappoint. This hope does not disappoint because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who's been given to us. Friends, seriously, based on our based on our experience, I get excited here because we have experienced this endurance, the character, the hope. And and what we're talking about here is where the hope lands, where the hope leads to. And based on our experience with God in his word, led by his spirit through his work, it's and as we embrace his hope, he allows us to see, hear, and feel the Father's love more deeply in our lives through the dark challenges. See this, friends. The end result from endurance, character, and hope is love. And we're talking about the agape love, the father's love, the love of our Creator, Father God, and there's no greater love known than in the entire universe.

Stacy Jo 13:08

That is that is so true. And but then as we move from Paul to James, we find a scripture that stops most of us in our tracks. You know, James 1, 2 through 4 declares, count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, and let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. Yeah. And James encourages the people to count it all joy, not pretend it doesn't hurt or act like everything is fine, but hold on to the truth that God is doing something in this that is going to make the more complete or whole person he created you to be. And the one who perseveres and comes out the other side of the trial with steadfastness and hope is the one who shines his transformative power and light on the people around them. That's it. You know, of course we're gonna have struggles and we're gonna have challenges along the way. And the challenges and the struggles are real. Struggles are the sign that we're fighting back against adversity. So are you gonna fight back or are you gonna submit to it?

SPEAKER_04 15:42

Right.

Stacy Jo 15:43

That's the question. Are we gonna fight and know along the way that the fight is never easy to live out when you're in the middle of it, but the fight is always worth it in the end.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Always worth it.

Stacy Jo 15:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Always worth it. And I like your differentiation there between are we gonna submit to the tough stuff? Are we just gonna lay down? That's just the way it is.

SPEAKER_05 16:06

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

Or we're gonna fight against it. Right. We we as as we operate under and in the authority of Christ Jesus a lot, we are called to fight to get fight.

Stacy Jo 16:17

Right. And I'll liken this to marriage, you know.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

We have well, I mean you better be ready to fight to fight for your marriage. Right. Not fight in your marriage, but fight for your marriage because it's I love this woman with all my heart. It is it is some and especially when I would say is when we're in ministry, you know that if you're in leadership and you're married, it's challenging, but it's it's a great challenge, and we and we will never rise to that challenge in and of ourselves.

SPEAKER_05 16:56

No.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

Uh uh aside from Christ, we have nothing. So we what we've learned through the years is to stay connected to the vine. If John 15, we've got to stay connected to the vine, because Jesus said himself, aside from aside from me, you got nothing.

SPEAKER_05 17:11

Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

And I've seen that to be very true in in our lives. And that when when I try to fix things on my own volition, oh that's R. T. Bonfort would say. Um anyway, not it doesn't go too well. But uh just staying, staying connected to the vine. Right. And and allowing the uh and some some of the tough stuff that we're talking about here would could be the pruning. You know, the pruning's tough. When he says stay connected to the vine, and and we gotta get we're we're pruner, the father will prune us. What the word says is is uh as we're connected to the vine, we grow and the father prunes us so we can grow even more in the plan that he has for us. And pruning is painful.

SPEAKER_05 17:57

Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

And we gotta let people see us.

Stacy Jo 18:00

Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

Uh in the pruning, in the growing.

Stacy Jo 18:03

But my point to that is in marriage, there's going to be adversity. Oh. And we're we're going to have struggles. But the fight is always worth it.

SPEAKER_05 18:18

Yeah, it is. In the end.

Stacy Jo 18:20

And he will see you through it.

SPEAKER_05 18:22

Yeah.

Stacy Jo 18:22

If you allow him.

SPEAKER_05 18:24

Right.

Stacy Jo 18:25

So, you know, I think l we're gonna get into you know, the the struggles that we face and the first struggle. Tell us about the first struggle.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

And the first one worth mentioning is the temptation to hide the hard stuff.

SPEAKER_05 18:43

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

Hi there, I'm fine.

SPEAKER_05 18:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

When you're a leader, uh, when you're someone that people look up to, when you're someone who who uh who's leading, there's a pressure to project strength. Uh you know, we all got we we gotta have it all together. And uh we certainly can't let people see us struggling. And it can't be that guy. What's that old commercial back in the 70s, 80s, never let them see us sweat? Right. Whatever. So we we certainly, you know, and this this is this is the facade. We we can't let people see us struggling because we're afraid that it'll undermine their confidence in us as a leader, and it'll undermine the faith that they see us operate in. So you put put on the facade, put on the mask, and and you push through so nobody knows how hard it really is. Leadership's tough. As we put on the the mask, as we put on the facade, as we're as we're lying to ourselves and everyone around us, this this is a total loss, friends. Not only are we missing out on our Holy Spirit guidance and healing, we're we miss the discipleship opportunity completely.

Stacy Jo 20:12

Yes, because the people watching us are not looking for a leader who never struggles. They're looking for a leader who struggles but yet keeps trusting in our triune Godhead through the yuck, through the mud, through the trials, through the mountains, through the valleys, through the through it all. And that's what they need to witness. That is what gives them the permission to struggle and to believe for the teachable moment through the trial. Because when we were would hide the hard stuff, we're intentionally communicating that real faith means having it all together all the time. And I can tell you, and Alan will tell you that we do not have it together all the time. And that is a burden that nobody can carry and a standard nobody can live up to except for Jesus. Enter Enter Jesus, enter Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 21:05

He can withstand that.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

Absolutely. I was uh I was I was just in uh in this this revival wasn't long ago, probably a couple months ago, maybe last month, but I don't know. Recently. And uh it was uh we at our church, they you know, you got your prayer partners, and if you need prayer, you know, come up for prayer, and and I was like, I was in it so deep and it was so dark, and I was so distraught that I was like, I don't care what people think. But and I say that, I say that and oh I often say, you know, what people think about me is none of my business, all right? It's a whole recovery thing. Uh but you know I do. Okay, so you know, lucky's going up for prayer. I wonder what's going on all the time. That's that's not really what people are thinking. That's what the enemy wants us to think about. That's right. That's right. So I I go up to uh one of the elders, and uh I just love Mark Winchell, dude. I wasn't gonna mention his name, the Mark Winchell rocks, dude. I just love this guy. And uh and I just I'm just tears starts streaming, and I was like, listen, this is what I'm dealing with. Don't feel like I can talk about it freely because I'm a leader. And uh and he's like, oh boy, like that what you're talking. And you know, he just went to praying and it was it was powerful. And vulnerability, I mean, we we preach vulnerability and revival and recovery, but all the while being lied to uh that we gotta have it all together. You know, who's gonna listen to a guy with that kind of struggles? You know, and probably a lot of people.

Stacy Jo 23:00

Probably a lot of people.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Probably a lot of people. Look at this guy's real.

unknown 23:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Look at this guy's got troubles too. I was like, I tr trust me, we are not, you know, twirling, we're not twirling the cotton candy and driving cattle out to every area. No. It's uh it's not rainbows and puppy dogs, but but like honey bunny said, it's it's worth it. Yeah. The struggles are worth it. Uh and the trials are worth it. And and what we what we teach in Unbound is it's it's not the struggles harness into the men and women that he created us today. It's the teachable moments in the struggle and that and um yeah.

Stacy Jo 23:42

And again, it comes back to vulnerability. Be vulnerable. Allow yourself to be vulnerable because there's strength and vulnerability.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

There is. It's the uh anthropological, the study of human beings, of of how we are, why we are, and all that stuff. Uh studies over decades say that not only is vulnerability it's this is in chapter one of Real reviving recovery on dime, not only is it not weakness, which is what when you mention vulnerability, the the ninety-five or or more percent of us will say that vulnerability is weakness. But what these studies say over thousands and thousands and thousands of subjects over decades is that not only is vulnerability not weakness, it is the number one indicator of courage and strength.

Stacy Jo 24:35

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

Right.

Stacy Jo 24:36

Yeah. Well, let's go on to the second struggle.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Second struggle.

Stacy Jo 24:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:40

Bitterness.

Stacy Jo 24:41

Bitterness.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

Yikes. Yikes. Not all of the uh not all of the tough stuff feels like Romans 5, character building process when you're actually in the struggle. Bitterness. Ooh, man, does the enemy love bitterness? A little unforgiveness, a little resentment for you. Sometimes, you know, like I said, it's not all it doesn't the Romans 5, the the endurance and the character and the hope and the love, and it's not apparent right on the service. Sometimes it just feels unfair, man. Yeah, you seemingly did everything right, and then it still fell apart. What now? You were faithful to God, but you felt that he was silent when you needed me most. Then bitterness creeps in, and if we let it take root and let's let's back up here, because even though God's silent doesn't mean he's not there. Maybe he's waiting to see how you respond. Maybe he's waiting to see how you come to him in the in the in the silence.

SPEAKER_05 25:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

Some of bitterness. If we allow that to creep in, if we allow that to take root, it doesn't just affect us. It transfers to everybody watching us, and it transfers to them just as powerfully as faith does. A bitter leader.

SPEAKER_05 26:10

Yeah.

Stacy Jo 26:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

Bruh. You know that little emoticon with the volume. With the volume, yeah. A bitter leader produces skeptical followers. Yes. But a God-fearing and trusting leader produces disciples who believe and trust God through everything.

Stacy Jo 26:31

Yeah, and that's, you know, that's where our decisions become critical. You know, we can't ever decide to to feel nothing because you're human and and hard things hurt. But we must be intentional on the daily decision about where you're going to anchor yourself. You know, are you going to anchor on the loss or who God is with you? Because both of those anchor points produce something in the people around us. One produces cynicism and the other produces a faith that endures under pressure. And your people are watching your critical decisions here.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

They watch 'em. The people are watching. They are people you have no idea are watching, you're watching.

Stacy Jo 27:15

And and I want to say too, you know, when you said about the silence, you know, maybe God's watching how you react. You know, maybe he's waiting to see if you come to him or if you go to a friend first. Because he should always be the one we go to first. Sometimes we'll isolate, sometimes we won't go to anybody. Sometimes we'll we'll go to that friend, we'll pick up the phone and call the friend and say, Hey, guess what just happened? And blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

We're looking for someone to agree with us.

Stacy Jo 27:52

Right.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Right.

Stacy Jo 27:53

But we don't go to him. So maybe when it feels like it's silent, it's because, as you said, he's waiting to see how you respond or sometimes how you react.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

Right. Yeah. You mentioned isolation. That's our third struggle. Third struggle is isolation.

SPEAKER_05 28:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

And uh when things get hard, some leaders go quiet and they pull back. You get away from the ones closest to them because they don't want to be a burden and they don't want to have to deal deal with the energy to manage people's response to their pain.

Stacy Jo 28:30

Right. I just I just went through this not too long ago. I uh you know, I I was dealing with some things. I was just in this state of overwhelm and and Lord, I just don't even know what to do. And, you know, and and I finally, when I finally told my one of my nearest and dearest friends about that, she's like, Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you reach out to me? And I said, Because I just didn't think that I wanted to burden anybody, just like you just said, didn't want to burden anybody. Right. So it was just easier to to stay in bed and and isolate. Yeah. And I will say that I was crying out to God, but I wasn't, you know, I wasn't reaching out to someone. I was reaching out to him, but really just isolating from anybody else. Even those that I knew, even you. I mean, I didn't, you know, come to you and talk about it either. I just needed like I just felt like I couldn't talk to anybody at that time.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

I've been there. You know I was the isolators isolated back in the day. Well, I'll tell you that. Isolation's the solace that we would think on the front, and isolation's solace. It's uh the peace that we think we might get from isolation is an absolute liar. It's right, it's one uh the one of the end the enemy of our soul. Y'all know we got an enemy of our soul, right? We got we Rob, kill, and destroy. Uh how how well do y'all like rob being robbed, uh killed, and destroyed? Uh and he will tell you that you'll find your peace. And I said, just go over there. Yeah. Just get away from skip. Yeah. You'll be fine over here.

Stacy Jo 30:16

I always say it's the enemy's playground. Isolation is the enemy's playground.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

It's an absolute liar. And uh isolation cuts us off from our community who's there to assist us through the challenges. Right. And we need that community. Yeah. We need that community.

Stacy Jo 30:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:35

And uh without community, we we got nothing. Uh without, you know, and for like you mentioned, first and foremost, we got to to call out to the Lord. We gotta check in with the spirit. Uh and the the spirit's right there. He's kind of like just showing, he's like, hey, uh we gonna talk or what?

SPEAKER_03 30:56

Right.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

Yeah. And uh and I digress. But uh isolation also it just diminishes any discipleship that could happen uh when people watch someone walk through a fire and and come out the other side and not smell them like smoke. If we if we're if we're over here by ourselves and the people that we've been walking with are over here and we're not calling out and we're not, you know, communicating, and we just wanna be over here. You know, we're missing everything, we're missing opportunities for to be helped and to help, to let them let them see a struggle. I'm telling you, let them see a struggle.

Stacy Jo 31:45

Right. That's right. I mean, no one can disciple through adversity and isolation. Right. We gotta let people in. And I'm preaching to myself here, you know, maybe not everybody, but somebody. You know, trust that God has placed someone in your life who is there to walk through the tough stuff with you. You know, your highlight real version of faith may inspire, but it pales in comparison to striding through a dark time behind Jesus. We gotta let them see the process. Always behind Jesus. But we've gotta let them see the process and sit with us when we don't have the answers. Are you gonna let people pray over you? You know, sometimes that's tough letting people pray over you. Having that vulnerability and then letting people pray over you. And that experience of walking through something real tough together is one of the most bonding and the most formative things that can happen in a discipleship relationship.

SPEAKER_02 32:54

Yeah. And I wish I only had one thing to say. The first thing I have to say here is blamo. But uh blamo, that's that's all all of that. Everything you just said, blamel. Well said. Uh thank you for sharing that. And we we gotta have a people. We gotta have a people. And I remember hearing this on a on a a a well-known podcast uh years ago, and uh and that podcaster came out to a venue I was at and he and he shared that you gotta you gotta have your guys, you gotta have guys. And uh there's a very disturbingly large percentage of guys who don't have guys that they can call. That uh like in the 80 percentile, guys don't have guys he calls them 3 a.m. friends uh that you can call. And I'm like, Holy crap, I don't know how many 3 a.m. friends. This was a couple of years ago. And uh and I got into these these guys uh in with these guys at uh a revived church and met this I met this super amazing guy, his name's Jonathan Hayes, yeah, and uh and he Jonathan's been a superstar his entire life. Everyone's got struggles, but but he he leads the grit group. And and uh grit is is growth, resilience, integrity, and truth. And we have built we've built we're building a group, and and all are welcome. And you know, and long story short, we found our 3 a.m. from right. We we are each other's 3 a.m. funds. Uh my dear friend, that that entertainment center over there, my buddy Ryan Jackson and and Irving and and uh who was the how it fell off. There was another grit guy that helped. Oh, Nathan helped us three guys from grit. On a moment's narrative, so yeah, man, I could come help you do that stuff, move, move this stuff on a on a Saturday after a workout. So, but we gotta have, but not just uh, you know, some friends will help you move stuff, you know, but some we need a 3 a.m. dude is uh is a guy like my man Ryan Jackson. You know, I I would I would pick up the phone for him and and have, and he'd pick up the phone for me and has. You know, we're we and we share each other's struggles, we share our victories, but real friends, real brothers in Christ share the struggles and we see each other through the struggles, and that's it. And and I'm grateful to say that through meeting Jonathan and through uh the grit men's group uh based out of revived church and it really all over Martin County and and into St. Lucie County, we have we have found each other.

Stacy Jo 35:54

So if you're in the area, or even if you're not in the area, because y'all have a text thread and stuff too, that's very encouraging.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

We got a WhatsApp, uh we got a prayer call on uh Monday mornings at 6 30. If you're in the Martin County area, St. Lucie County area, Florida, uh let us know if you're interested. You can drop a uh drop a note here and uh yeah, Dritten on WhatsApp. Uh it's a great, great place to belong. And uh yeah, it's good stuff.

Stacy Jo 36:26

And we'll drop the link, we'll drop the link in here for you as well.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

It's good stuff.

Stacy Jo 36:30

But we got three things. We got three things that can help disciple e people well through life's inevitable tough stuff.

SPEAKER_02 36:38

We always got good stuff. Share what do you feel?

Stacy Jo 36:41

Yeah, and first, you know, the first one is that we need to reframe the season before we're in it. So we need to decide now while things are good, right? That when the tough stuff comes, and and it will, it absolutely will, but are you going to look for what God is building or are you gonna stare down the loss? And that predecision is what gives us the ability to decide for trust in the moment when it's hard.

SPEAKER_05 37:08

Right.

Stacy Jo 37:09

And predecision. Predecision. And when the people witness you seeking Christ in the middle of the pain, it deposits something in them that stays for life.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

Absolutely.

Stacy Jo 37:21

So tell us what the second one is.

SPEAKER_02 37:23

The second uh action item here is that friends, we gotta intentionally let people in. That's what I was just talking about here with with the guys. And guys, talking to you, y'all don't want to be. It's not too hard to get a lady to be vulnerable with another lady and share their stuff. But guys, gotta let that guard down. We gotta have each other. We gotta intentionally let people in. You don't have to share everything with everyone, but you've got to identify your people. Who are your dudes, man? Every guy should have at least three or four guys that uh that they're in it with, with each other, you know. We gotta identify our people uh who we're gonna do life with, man. Uh close enough to walk through the tough stuff with us. Who are your guys, man? We've got to burn that facade and we got burn the facade.

SPEAKER_05 38:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Tear off the mask and burn it and remain honest with them about where you are. Let them pray with you. Let them sit with you in the uncertainty. Let them witness how God moves with you. And be there with them before them as much as they're with you. It's it's doing life together. It's it's it's a two-way street. And again, I would say let them witness how God moves with you. Because the testimony is not just about the breakthrough, but it's about every step of faithfulness in between. And I would say, boy howdy. And I like to say boy howdy because it's a good thing. The in-between, I say, is where the real discipleship happens.

Stacy Jo 39:09

Yes. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 39:11

Got a little in-between.

Stacy Jo 39:13

Yes, 100%. And third, you know, when he sees you through the tough stuff, tell the story.

unknown 39:22

Yeah.

Stacy Jo 39:23

All of it. Not just the sanitized version where God showed up and everything got better, but the real version where it was hard and you were scared and you didn't know how it was going to turn out, but you decided to trust him through it all. That's it. Share the whole story.

SPEAKER_04 39:38

That's where inspired.

Stacy Jo 39:39

Because then God moved.

SPEAKER_04 39:40

Yeah.

Stacy Jo 39:41

And that unedited honesty is one of the most powerful discipleship tools we have. Because 2 Corinthians 1 says the comfort you received is meant to be given away. So don't keep it, give it. That there's hope in that. Find the person who's standing in the middle of what you've all already through and pour into them from what God has poured into you.

SPEAKER_02 40:08

Absolutely. Pour it out. Yes. Pour it out. That's why God has filled us to overflow so that we can pour into others. So that we can share our experience with others. And here's the point about adversity and discipleship. The people who changed the world are not the ones that had the easiest lives. They're the ones who went through the hard things and let God use all the tough stuff to forge them into the believing follower that he created them to be. Y'all know that Paul wrote half the New Testament from prison, right?

SPEAKER_04 40:41

Right.

unknown 40:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:43

Joseph? What about Joseph? He saved the nation because of what he learned in the pit, in the prison cell. He had some good times, but it was the it was the adversity in the pit, thrown in the pit by his brothers. He was in prison because of a lie. He didn't even do that. But in the people that it this impacted, that these lives impacted, Paul, right specifically, Paul and Joseph, uh go New Testament, Old Testament, the lives they impacted was they weren't impacted because of their success. They were impacted because of the faithfulness in the suffering. In the suffering, and that experience is available to all of us.

SPEAKER_04 41:30

Right.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

And I'll say it again, that experience, when you decide to forward to embrace it, it's available to all of us. Every hard season that we go through is a discipleship assignment. The only question is, how are you going to steward it? How well will we steward it? Will we will we uh keep it to ourselves?

SPEAKER_04 41:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

Or will we be vulnerable with those who need to see that, those who need to witness what we've experienced so they can experience it themselves. So then his power and his grace physical work.

Stacy Jo 42:15

Yeah. So we have one thing this week for you. Um if you are in a hard season right now, let that one person in. Not everyone, but just that just one. Start with one. Someone you trust and tell them what is really going on and let them walk with you. And if you're in a good season right now, think about a hard season that you've already been through and ask yourself, who do I know that's standing in the middle of that right now? And then go find them and share with them the life lesson that God gave you. I mean, that is Second Corinthians one in action because your hard seasons are not just your story, they're someone else's lifeline. So don't waste an opportunity to grow and help others grow with you. Let God use every single bit of it. Let him use every single bit of it. Will you let him do that? Would you pray for us?

SPEAKER_02 43:16

I would I would absolutely love to pray us out and uh Father, we thank you that you don't waste anything. Not one hard season, not one painful loss, not any confusion or grief. We waste none of it. We thank you for for building your something through it all. We thank you for eyes to see what you're building in us through the trials. We thank you for the courage to to let people in so that so that they can walk through it with us. Thank you for guiding us through to the other side and giving us the generosity to turn around and give away the comfort that you gave us to someone who desperately needs it. We thank you for using the hard seasons to advance in your kingdom. We thank you, we praise you, and we love you. Father, we love you, Jesus, we love you, Holy Spirit, and as we pray all this and in Jesus' precious and powerful name. Amen.

Stacy Jo 44:27

Amen. All right, friends. Well, episode six is coming, and it's one of the hardest parts of discipleship. It's learning to release the people you've already been discipling for a while. That's hard.

SPEAKER_05 44:41

Be free.

Stacy Jo 44:42

It's hard to release them and say, be free, go go do it. So letting them go do what God has called them to do, even when it costs you something, don't miss it. We hope you'll join us.

SPEAKER_02 44:57

Right. Until then, we encourage you all to stay faithfully invested because when you do, God brings the increase. Have a great week. God bless you and your family.

Stacy Jo 45:08

God bless.

SPEAKER_01 45:13

Thanks for joining us on Faithfully Invested with Alan and Stacey Joe. If today's conversation encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you see your calling more clearly, don't keep it to yourself.

Stacy Jo 45:25

That's right. Share it with a friend, leave a five-star review, and keep leaning into God's blueprint for your life, your leadership, and your legacy. So until next time, remember when you invest in his kingdom, he brings the increase.