Multiplication Requires Release | Allen & Stacy Jo

In this episode, we explore the crucial aspect of discipleship: the art of releasing those you've invested in. Discover why letting go is essential for true multiplication in the kingdom.

Key takeaways:

* Releasing disciples is a vital part of their growth.
* Authentic attachment can hold back development.
* Jesus' example shows the importance of sending out disciples.
* Fear and identity can complicate the release process.
* Release should be celebrated, not feared.

What's your biggest challenge with releasing someone you've invested in? Drop it in the comments!

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Faithfully Invested with Allen and Stacy Jo Thorne. We explore biblical wisdom, leadership, and marriage in this series.

This podcast is designed for those seeking practical guidance on balancing faith and life. Whether you are navigating marriage, pursuing leadership roles, or looking for mission-focused living, this show offers real talk about the challenges you face every day. Allen and Stacy Jo Thorne provide a space to discuss how scripture applies to modern circumstances, helping you stay grounded in your spiritual journey.

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Transcript

Allen 0:49

Are you ready to build a life, business, and legacy that truly lasts? Welcome to Faithfully Invested with Alan and Stacy Joe Thorne, where faith meets real talk, biblical wisdom meets everyday life, and leadership meets laughter.

Stacy Jo 1:03

Together we will uncover God's blueprint for leadership, marriage, and mission, helping faith-driven leaders invest in what matters most.

Allen 1:11

Each episode we explore biblical wisdom, have real conversations, and of course, have some fun along the way. Because let's be real, walking in faith is an adventure.

Stacy Jo 1:22

It sure is. So pull up a seat, grab your coffee or your sweet tea, and join us as we steward our callings with intention. Because when we invest in his kingdom, he brings the increase.

Allen 1:46

I'm Alan.

Stacy Jo 1:47

And I'm Stacy Joe. And today we are discussing the part of discipleship that nobody really prepares you for. You know, we spend a lot of time talking about assisting the spirit's development in people and walking with them through the journey. But today we're talking about what happens when it's time to release them and to send them out. And why that moment, as challenging as it is, is the whole point.

Allen 2:14

That's the whole point. Multiplication doesn't happen without release. No. And that's what we're discussing today. You can you can help develop someone for years, uh, but if you never actually let them go, do what God called them to do. Uh if you keep them close to you because you need them or because releasing them will cost you something, then uh that's not really an investment in the kingdom, is it?

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Right.

Allen 2:40

The uh the multiplication factor, that's what discipleship's all about. It's about raising them up and and releasing them. If but if we don't release them, then the multiplication factor drops to zero, and that's not what the kingdom is built on. So this is where we're at, and here we go.

Stacy Jo 2:59

I want to start with something that I think may be a little uncomfortable for some. You know, when you have walked with someone through hard seasons, you've celebrated their growth and and you've watched them become who God has created them to be. There is an authentic attachment that forms, and that attachment is good relational love and appreciation. And that's just what discipleship is supposed to produce.

Allen 3:25

Yeah, it is. But uh, but that same attachment can become the thing that that holds them back if you're not careful.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Right.

Allen 3:33

We don't want to hold them back because there comes a point in every discipleship relationship that the most loving thing that you can do is is not keep them close. We we gotta release them.

unknown 3:45

Yeah.

Allen 3:46

For his purpose.

Stacy Jo 3:47

That's right.

Allen 3:48

He's put something in them. We gotta release them to go do that. We've fulfilled our purpose. And we don't want to be selfish about it. We don't want to keep them too close and screw up at the end of the cycle.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Right.

Allen 4:02

Releasing those who we've raised up, it requires a costly willingness to let go of something that's been a source of life, growth, and relationship for both of us.

Stacy Jo 4:14

Yeah, and we're not just talking about formal relationship ministry. I mean, this can be for parents releasing their kids. We've gone through that. You know, we've released our kids into adulthood. It can be business leaders releasing key team members into their own assignments, mentors maybe releasing the people they've mentored to go into places the mentor will never go. Every one of those scenarios has the same dynamic. The investment was real, the relationship matters, and the release is challenging, but it's definitely necessary.

Allen 4:49

Absolutely. And just like anything in in life, we got to think it all the way through. It's and really, it's not the end of the relationship, but it's like a graduation of sorts.

unknown 4:59

Yeah.

Allen 5:00

You know, it's time uh for the for their development, every uh everything that you've poured into them uh and developed in them, it's time for that to get unleashed and applied in the world in a way that um it can never be while they're under your wing.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Right.

Allen 5:17

Uh and it it's challenging.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Yeah.

Allen 5:19

It's challenging, it can be challenging. And but when we we understand uh the necessity for release, then release stops feeling like a loss and it starts being one of the most exciting moments in a discipleship relationship. And I think, you know.

Stacy Jo 5:34

Well, I want to I want to say something because I, you know, I feel like that with our our kids, you know, when we I'll take Veronica for instance. She was the baby, and she still is the baby. She is still the baby. But she and Trey are the babies of our family, and she's the baby baby because they're twins, but she's you know, she's 18 minutes younger, and Trey will tell you he's 18 minutes older.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

Right.

Stacy Jo 5:58

But when she decided to go off to college and not stay here, but go far away, that was that was hard for me. But it I think it was hard for both of us.

Allen 6:11

It was hard for her too.

Stacy Jo 6:13

It was I remember that, and it was uh But we had to release her because we had done our job, right? And we didn't stop with our relationship, right? Our relationship continued on, obviously.

Allen 6:26

Absolutely.

Stacy Jo 6:27

Um but I just recall that season of her saying, Okay, mom, I've decided I'm going to Charleston, South Carolina for school. And I was like, wow. Yeah. Because I was expecting somewhere nearby. Right.

Allen 6:44

Yeah, I was a little uh yeah, anyway, we could go on and on about that. But uh lessons learned on on both ends, definitely life lessons learned there. So it's important to um or we're being faithfully invested means that we're we're invested in God's word. So let's let's take this to the word. Uh and no no better place to take it. I'm very partial to the gospel of John. And and in uh John 20, 21, Jesus appears to his disciples after the resurrection and he says, Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me even, so I am sending you, says Jesus. And that's a commission. And a commission is it's a release. Jesus spent three years patiently developing everything into his disciples. He walked with them, he ate with them, uh, he taught them, he corrected them, he prayed with them and over them. They they did life together for three years, and now it's time to send them out. He was sending them out, he wasn't keeping them gathered around him. He would there was a mission. He he didn't do anything, and he says this uh through the gospels. Uh he didn't do anything that wasn't the father's will. He was there to he would he was sent here to fulfill the father's plan, uh, and that's what he did. And part of that plan was building up his disciples and and releasing them uh and not keeping them gathered around him. He sent them.

Stacy Jo 8:21

Yeah, and you know, if you really want to understand how serious Jesus was about releasing them, you can go to John 16 7 and he tells his disciples that it's to their advantage that he goes away. Right. And he declares, if I don't go, the helper will not come. And he's speaking of the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Yeah.

Stacy Jo 8:40

But think about what he's saying. The physical presence of Jesus that they had depended on for three years had to end so that something greater could begin.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

Right.

Stacy Jo 8:50

His departure wasn't about abandonment, right? It was the catalyst for the next level, and the same is true of every discipleship release that is done well.

Allen 9:02

Right. He was it's not like he was in a he's like, guys, I'm in a hurry, I got I gotta get back to heaven.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Right.

Allen 9:08

I gotta get back to the right hand of the father. Uh it was all part of the father's plan.

Stacy Jo 9:14

Sure.

Allen 9:15

He's like, he's like, I gotta go.

Stacy Jo 9:17

But that was just the beginning of something even greater.

Allen 9:21

That was the beginning, and that's what he said. Great, you said greater. He said, You will go on. He told him, he goes, You'll go on to do greater things than I.

unknown 9:29

Right.

Allen 9:30

You know, so that's uh because he and and that is you know, just like anything Jesus did uh and still does, that's that's the the the greatest example of discipleship, right? The greatest example of leadership. Uh he released them well.

unknown 9:48

Yeah.

Allen 9:49

And when you release your disciples, maybe not your disciples, but when the people that you've poured into, the people that you've mentored, uh, then you're you're not removing them from your life. It's not over. They're they're not dying, they're just being sent. Right. Uh you're making room for for God to do, and then what uh he couldn't do while they're standing under under you. So you're you're letting them go. When you're not when they're not leaning on you anymore, then God can do what he wants to do in them. You've done your part. Uh and that's when we discover what's actually in them. How well have we mentored them? How well have we discipled them? Uh that's when the investment fully takes root.

Stacy Jo 10:37

Yeah.

Allen 10:38

And that's the point of reckoning. Yeah. That's uh that's a definitely a point of reckoning.

Stacy Jo 10:44

Yeah, because they at that point they have to trust God directly rather than trusting your leadership.

Allen 10:51

And that's certainly something they should have. If you've discipled them, if we've discipled them properly, then that the whole trusting God thing, isn't that the point?

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Yeah.

Allen 11:01

They uh if they haven't got the whole trusting God thing, then we haven't done our part as a mentorship.

Stacy Jo 11:07

Yeah. And then, you know, if we go to Acts chapter 13, uh verses two and three, you know, the church at Antioch is worshiping and they're fasting, and the Holy Spirit speaks when he tells them to set apart Barnabas and Saul for the work that he had called them to do. And the church fasts and they pray and they lay hands on them and then they send them off.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

Yeah.

Stacy Jo 11:31

That is community releasing two of their best people.

Allen 11:35

Their best. They're like, really? Those two? The Holy Spirit, are you sure?

Stacy Jo 11:40

Right.

Allen 11:41

We we kind of need them here.

Stacy Jo 11:43

Yeah, I mean, two of the most gifted, most mature, and impactful leaders in that church, and they let them go because the Holy Spirit said so.

Allen 11:52

Right.

Stacy Jo 11:52

That is the model.

Allen 11:54

That's it.

Stacy Jo 11:55

Release guided by the Holy Spirit, celebrated by the community, right, and then sent off with the blessing. That's the model that we're looking at.

Allen 12:04

Absolutely.

Stacy Jo 12:05

But let's let's talk about what actually makes the release hard. Because if it were easy, everyone would do it, and the kingdom would obviously look a whole lot different.

Allen 12:17

Yeah, I think the first challenge is need. If we're honest, is need. Sometimes we hold on to people uh not because it's best for them, but because we need them right here. It's uh a key part of what uh they're a key part of what we're what we've built and what we're continuing to build. They fill a role that's hard to replace. Uh they bring something to the team, uh, they bring something to the family, they bring something to the ministry that we genuinely depend on. And releasing them is gonna cost us something. And uh, and that's that's the cost of discipleship. We're not raising them up to keep them here. Uh but maybe sometimes selfishly, be honest, uh, you want to hold on to them. Uh sometimes we hold on and we tell ourselves it's not the right time. Uh we can find reasons why they're not ready all day long. And all the while the real reason is why we're not we say they're not ready is because we're not ready to let them go. And I and I will tell you that I'll just share uh when we first launched Unbound, we had a lot of really great leaders, and we still have great leaders. Uh we a few have chosen to to stay, and just a wonderful uh brother and a sisterhood there. Uh but this the second and third round, there were there's people that I didn't want to leave, and they're but it they had done their part, yeah, and uh and they advocated for the ministry, but uh it was time for them to go do so some of them left the state. Yeah, and and some of them had four leaders who left the state. Four leaders left the state and and and two other leaders great, they're they're missionaries, you know, in country and and then out of country, and they want to do what God called them to do. And and the four that left the state, they want to do what God called them to do, and it's working out well because they want to do what God called them to do. And who are we to say, nah, we don't think so. We think you know you ought to stay here with us, right? But we got so sometimes you gotta release, and we didn't release them. They they decided to go, but we had to release them. It was like a forced release, and I'm like, oh yeah, and uh, but it's it's good, it's good. So yeah, and I'm out there stretching, stretching, right?

Stacy Jo 14:57

And I think that's that's worth you know talking a little more about because there's a version of discipleship that is more about what the person gives to you than what you give to them, yeah. Where you're investing in someone partly because of what they contribute to your mission, and when the time comes for them to go pursue theirs, the resistance that you can feel tells you something important about whose interests have been at the center of that relationship. And we want to put Christ at the center of the relationship. And if Christ has somewhere to send them, if God has somewhere to send them, they have to go. It's not about us.

Allen 15:40

Right. It's not about that, and that's the thing. Uh and I learn more and more as I as I walk with Christ and mature in my faith, my personal faith walk is the and just continually learn it's it's not about me. It's not about me. And and these and these six people that um that I'm talking about, these are credible people. They have uh a strong, mature walk. Uh there. And they were like, uh, I'm like, if that's what God said, if that's where you're to go, I got nothing to say about that. Because it's not about me, it's not about us, it's not about what we got here. And and the Lord continues to send people, maybe not at the rate that that we'd like to see, but at his pace. And that's what it's all about, because it's not about us. And that brings us to our our second challenge, which is uh fear that we would have for them. Uh, and this is one it's less selfish, but equally it can be equally paralyzing. Right. Uh, you know, we've we've spent time with them, we've poured into them, we've watched them grow, uh, we know their blind spots, and we've we've taught them their blind spots. Yeah. Uh and we know the areas where they're still developing. And the thought of releasing them before they're ready, uh before it's all been ironed out, every rough edge is smooth, uh it feels maybe a little irresponsible. Like you'd be setting them up for failure.

Stacy Jo 17:24

Right. But which is kind of the way I felt about Veronica. Right. I was a little fearful of her of you know, her stepping out on her own. She had always been with us. So, you know, her going as far away to college as what she did.

Allen 17:41

Yeah.

Stacy Jo 17:42

You know, there was there was a sense of fear there.

Allen 17:44

There was and there was some there was some she went through some challenges and she learned some lessons because you know we we learn our greatest lessons from from life's greatest challenges. And she faced some challenges and she uh and she learned from that.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

Right.

Allen 18:00

And now she's uh almost done with her master's degree. But but here's because she rocks, Ronnie. Yeah, yeah.

Stacy Jo 18:10

But there's you know, with regards to that, you know, nobody is ever fully ready. There's not one person that God has ever sent out in scripture that was fully ready. Right. Moses wasn't ready, Gideon wasn't ready, the disciples definitely weren't ready.

Allen 18:26

Yeah, and they and they were pretty adamant about saying, oh no, I don't think so.

Stacy Jo 18:31

Right. You know, Jesus sent them out two by two in Luke 10, and he sent them anyway, even though they weren't ready, because readiness is not the absence of weakness, readiness is the presence of God. There it is. And if the person you've discipled knows how to stay connected to God, if they've learned how to abide and to seek and to trust, kind of like what you were saying earlier, then they have what they actually need. And the rest gets developed in the field, just like with with Veronica. The rest got developed in the field.

Allen 19:06

Yeah. Abide, you said abide and some some folks don't know what abide means. Abide simply means to remain to remain and remain with uh the Lord. Yeah, that He remains at the center of everything.

Stacy Jo 19:23

Yeah.

Allen 19:24

So third challenge.

Stacy Jo 19:26

Go for it.

Allen 19:27

Identity. It's the identity piece. And that's this is one, listen up, leaders. This is especially uh for you. If you're leading someone, if you're discipling someone, uh the identity piece, uh someone we hold uh sometimes we hold on to that special someone uh that we disciple because releasing them means redefining who we are in our relationship with them. If we're discipling properly, we're not someone's main source of wisdom and direction. That it that is solely from the Father, solely from Jesus, solely from the the Holy Spirit, the three in one, our our triune Godhead. That's and and we've we've discipled them in that direction.

Stacy Jo 20:16

Um But you're the person they turn to.

Allen 20:19

But you're we're the we're the person that they turn to. And uh then you we're released now. Here we are, we've been we've been their their person. We'll call it their their person, and and then you release them into a new season uh where they we don't they don't need you for that anymore. And you you quietly feel like um maybe you lost a a piece of your own identity. Hmm. Like you're not as uh significant now and that uh because they don't need you in that way.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

Yeah.

Allen 20:55

That's something that we would have to deal with. Uh yeah.

Stacy Jo 20:59

So and and that's I mean, that's real. And the answer to it is the same answer that comes up in every season of the podcast. Your identity is not your role. And that's really what it comes back to. It's it's not being needed, it is in who God says you are.

Allen 21:17

Right. As we send them out, our question shouldn't be, oh, what am I gonna do without them? Our question should be who's next? Who's next? Who's who's next in line to to get raised up? You know, and that's a question for the Lord. Lord, who who do you have? Right. Who would you like? What's what's the next what who's the person for the next season of discipleship here?

Stacy Jo 21:41

But a leader who's secure in their identity does not need to be the most essential person person in someone's life forever.

Allen 21:50

Because it's not about us.

Stacy Jo 21:52

Right. They can celebrate the moment when someone they poured into no longer needs them in a way that they used to, because that means the discipleship worked. And then you can be ready for the next person. So you have to be secure in your in your identity.

Allen 22:08

Right. Yeah. In order, I mean, from the get-go, before we disciple anyone, we gotta be secure in our identity. Yeah. We the the the the leader must be, we must be a secure leader uh under biblical principles and precepts.

Stacy Jo 22:23

Right. Well, there's three things that help us release well. Yeah. And first, build release into the discipleship discipleship relationship from the beginning.

SPEAKER_02 22:35

Right.

Stacy Jo 22:36

From day one, let the people that you're pouring into know that the goal is not dependency on you, but the goal is maturity in Christ. You are just a guide for a season, you are not a Destination. Right. And when that expectation is set early, release doesn't feel like rejection when it comes. It feels like the natural completion of something that was always moving in that direction anyway.

Allen 23:01

Absolutely. And second, we got to release with a blessing, not just permission.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

Yes.

Allen 23:09

It's not a it's uh it's with the and really it's with the Lord's permission. It's the Lord's stamp of approval. Like at the at the the Church of the Church of Antioch, they they didn't just tell Barnabas and Saul to to, all right, you can go. Uh it wasn't their decision. If it was the if it was the human decision, then they probably would have never let them go. But but God said, the Holy Spirit said, you know, send Barnabas and Saul. So so the church fasted and they prayed and they laid hands on them and they and they sent them out with the full weight of the community's blessing behind them. And that's the release that does something for the person who's being sent. It tells them it it really speaks into their purpose. Uh it tells them that we see what God's put in you. We believe in you, and we believe in your calling, the calling that God has put on you. And and and we're with you, even when you're not here with us. That is a release. That's what we're talking about here. That's the biblical example. That's a release that empowers rather than just permits.

Stacy Jo 25:49

Yeah, and I would say, you know, from not in a discipleship in the church, but I had that experience in the secular world in business when I went and said to my then current bosses that I wanted that I was starting a business.

Allen 26:10

Employer.

Stacy Jo 26:11

My employer.

Allen 26:12

Right.

Stacy Jo 26:13

And not knowing how it was going to be received, but they were so gracious to send me out with a blessing that they wanted me to land, and I'll never forget the words that she said. We want you to land softly in your own business. So that was such a blessing because I had no idea what was going to happen. And I did a lot there, but they knew that it was time for me to go.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

Right.

Stacy Jo 26:41

And I have had to do that with employees myself now. And it was a good example that was set for me when you are released like that to be able to release others.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

Right.

Stacy Jo 26:55

So I just wanted to throw that in there. But the third, you know, stay connected in a new way. Release doesn't mean that the relationship ends, it means that it changes. And the person that you poured into for years does not suddenly become a stranger.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

Right.

Stacy Jo 27:15

You don't walk down the street and pass them and say, Oh, I used to know you, but I don't know you anymore.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Right.

Stacy Jo 27:20

That dynamic shifts. And they're no longer just because they're no longer under your wing, they're because they're not beside you. But now they're peer-to-peer. And that is a totally new dynamic. That's two leaders walking together rather than one leading and one following. And that can really be one of the richest seasons of relationship that you will ever experience.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

Yeah.

Stacy Jo 27:44

So let the relationship grow up with the person. Don't try and hold it in a form that it's already outgrown.

Allen 27:50

Right. Absolutely. And all and all that we to say that the bottom line here of what we're talking about is multiplication requires release. The kingdom isn't about addition, certainly not about subtraction. The kingdom, kingdom math is multiplication.

unknown 28:11

Yeah.

Allen 28:12

And that requires release. You can't hold on and multiply at the same time, obviously.

Stacy Jo 28:20

Doesn't work like that.

Allen 28:21

Doesn't work like that. Every person that we release becomes a new center of discipleship and influence in the world. And everything that you poured into them gets poured into other people that you might not ever meet. They go places where you might not ever go. This is the Lord's plan. And they and they do things that maybe that that he's put in them that you might not ever imagine.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

Right.

Allen 28:49

You know, that's the kingdom math. That's multiplication. And that's uh that's why Jesus, in instead of gathering them, he sent them. And that's the legacy of life. Uh the legacy of a life that's truly multiplied. That's what as leaders who who bring people up, as raise people up to disciple people and let them go. That's the legacy we want to leave.

Stacy Jo 29:18

Yeah. So here's an honest question for you this week. Is there someone in your life that God has been asking you to release and you've just kind of been holding on to them? Let them go. You know, maybe it's a grown child or a team member, someone you've discipled who's ready for more than you can give them now. So sit with the Lord on that. Ask Him if the hesitation is wisdom or if it is fear or need. And then be willing to do what God says, even if it costs you something.

Allen 29:52

Absolutely. Because releasing someone when God says to release them is the most capital K kingdom thing that you can do. That's right. You gotta uh, are you sure, Lord? He's like third time I said yes. It's the moment that our investment stops being contained and and starts multiplying. That's what it's all about. And that's the and that's what this this whole season's been building toward. So let's pray out. All right. Ready to pray out. So Father, we we thank you for giving us the courage to release people that that you've asked us to release. Uh we thank you for for healing any place in our own need. We thank you for uh releasing uh fear, Lord. Fear that's keeping someone from stepping into the fullness that you've called them into. Father, we release fear to you now, and we thank you for for courage, we thank you for love, we thank you for power, we thank you for sound-mindedness. That is what you have for us. Lord, we um we thank you for helping us send out with a blessing. We thank you for your permission to send, and we thank you for your to sending them out generously, we thank you for sending them out uh the assured wholeheartedness to send them just the way uh and the Church of Antioch did with Barnabas and Saul. We thank you for reminding us to release when you say to. We thank you for understanding we thank you for clarity that release is not a loss, but it's multiplication that you call us to, that you call them to. We ask you that you let everything that we've poured into people go out into the world and keep producing the fruit that you intend. Even if we don't see it, the side of eternity. We thank you, we worship you, we praise your holy name, and it's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

Stacy Jo 32:21

Amen. Alan, guess what?

Allen 32:24

What, lady?

Stacy Jo 32:26

We only have one more episode to go.

Allen 32:30

One more.

Stacy Jo 32:32

Episode seven is the season finale, and it is the capstone of the entire invested journey God laid on our hearts to bring to you.

Allen 32:42

It seems like we just got started with season eight, and here we go. Almost wrapping up season eight, getting ready for season nine.

Stacy Jo 32:52

Right. And everything that we've walked through together, it all comes together in one final conversation. So you don't want to miss the next episode.

Allen 33:01

Miss it. Until then, we encourage y'all to stay faithfully invested because when you do, God brings the increase. He does every time. God bless you and your families. Let's make it a great day.

Stacy Jo 33:14

We'll see you next time.

Allen 33:19

Thanks for joining us on Faithfully Invested with Alan and Stacey Joe. If today's conversation encouraged you, challenged you, or helped you see your calling more clearly, don't keep it to yourself.

Stacy Jo 33:31

That's right. Share it with a friend, leave a five-star review, and keep leaning into God's blueprint for your life, your leadership, and your legacy. So until next time, remember when you invest in his kingdom, he brings the increase.