S2: Episode 4 - Our Holy Grail: "To each their own!"

Stormy and Kodi discuss what it could mean in our life. (song suggestion: "Holy Grail" - Jay Z ft. Justin Timberlake, "Holy Grail" - Bradley Simpson) 

Your goodie for the day. Thank you for listening. :) 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Goody Shop for your mental health. My name is Cody. My name is Stormy. And we're glad that you're with us today. So this episode is going to be a little bit different, okay? We're going to talk about our holy grail to each their own. Now I know you're like, what is this topic going to be about? And honestly, I'm going to be honest, Stormy and I really like the topic line, but we're going to break it down as far as how can we apply the holy grail to our lives? And what does that mean? What do we mean by that? So we're just going to have a discussion. We're going to chop it up and we're just going to break it down together. Because, like I said, we're not here to be the know-all. We're here discovering life, just like you guys are. So we're just happening to do it on a podcast. So we're going to talk about it. So, what do we mean by our holy grail to each their own? So, Stormy, we are here, my lady.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

We are, and that's a big topic. So, we're gonna, like you said, really kind of delve into what a holy grail would mean to us. And it's definitely one of those things that it is gonna be different for each person. And we really want to look at it like this is something that's meaningful to me, and that's what's most important, and then you kind of go from there. So I know Cody, you have a little blurb of what it actually kind of means, what the holy grail means, and kind of go over that and then start.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

That sounds like a plan. So, this is what it says it says the idiom holy grail refers to a highly desired, valuable, and often elusive goal or object that it's extremely difficult to find, achieve, or obtain. Like finding a perfect pen that works. It symbolizes the ultimate prize or quest stemming from legendary cup from a Thorian legend. So, in other words, it's like an object or a goal that is sought after for its great significance. So that's the breakdown of what we mean by holy grail. So it's that one thing or thing that really has great significance in your life, and that something that you keep on a continuous basis, maybe you see it one time, it just depends. It's different for each person. So, yeah. So, Stormy, what are your thoughts? Like, I know this is like a a loaded question. Yes, it could be more than one thing. So, what would you say that your holy grail is currently in your life?

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Yeah, I mean, when we when we started talking about it, it was like, okay, how do I like narrow down what that means for me? And right, you know, there are so many different things, different ways that I can look at it. Yeah, I can almost consider like my Holy Girl, like my son, just yes, I've achieved that or what however you want to say, like I have a kid. But at the same time, I think like sustaining that and having that relationship as a strength, you know, throughout my life is something that is really important to me. And having him be set up with self-success, you know, like self-love and all of those types of things. For me, I don't know if that necessarily constitutes holy grail, but that's the way I kind of take it as, especially right now. My kid is seven, so he just, you know, in that those elementary years where he's growing and learning and asking millions of questions and repeating everything and asking all the things, and you know, that's part of what helps me too, is like feeding off of that, like feeding off of his energy in that way. And so I want to make sure that I'm doing the same for him, and so whenever I think of hard times or whatever, like we all do, uh, I just try to remember that there's something that's greater than me, that's kind of my purpose and my desire to continue building and strengthening.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

I like that. He is such a cutie. I'm I cannot believe he's seven. I'm like, time is flying. I mean, I just remember when he was born. I'm like, it just sounds like it was just yesterday. And I'm like, what? Me too. Oh my goodness. No, I think that's a really good, that's a really good way of looking at it. And for me, like I would say, for me, what's significant, I would say my my spiritual wall. For me, it's yeah, my spiritual journey while I'm on this earth. Like, yes, I'm one that I believe in God and and yeah, have a relationship with him, you know, talk and all that stuff. But my thing is it's not it's not connected to like a religion type thing. It's not a, you know, oh, you know, I'm not this and this, you know, I was raised in that. But for me, it's about relationship. And I think that's one thing that keeps me grounded, you know, as I'm on this journey called life. And it helps me to, you know, stay focused, be the verse, you know, the best version of myself, and and it's not connected to, you know, hate and all that other stuff, like all that other stuff. I don't know what that's from. I don't I'm like, that's not what my God is about. So it's so it's interesting to see, you know, how for each individual it's it's what it is that helps them to, I think, just to be like you said, to be the best version of them. And I like how you said that your son, you know, uh he is he is that for you. And I think that's awesome for me. It's my spiritual walk. For somebody else, it might be something totally different. It might be, you know, maybe they're an artist, maybe it's their craft that is kind of like what brings significance to them. And I think that's that this is what this is about. It's about finding out what is that? Is this something that not only is it significant, but to make sure that it helps you to be your best self, I would say. Is it something that's helping you or is it something that's hindering you? And I know we've talked about that is kind of like in one of our other episodes, but I think it's really important, especially in the world that we're in right now, there's so many, there's so many things that are calling our attention that like quote unquote should be our attention. And none of it should be our attention, you know, because it's like I'm not a prideful person, or you know, I'm you know, my look is not, it's not just about how I look, you know, it's it's so many different things that are going on out in the world and that's trying to, you know, trying to gain our attention. But I think at the bottom, at the end of the day, it's really important that we know what we choose to focus on. Is it something that will be, like I said, just is it helpful? Is it something that's beneficial for you? Does it make you, you know, wake up and smile in the morning? You know, even when you're going through your ups and downs, is it something that even though you might feel like crap at this moment, yet you're still able to maintain because it's like, you know what? I still have XYZ. And I'm glad that I have this in my life. So I guess, I guess that's my way of looking at it. What are your thoughts? What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Yeah, I mean, I think just going back to what you said at the beginning, you know, just the title of the holy grail, it's almost like that becomes the epitome of of our life, you know, like what drives us? What do we wake up every morning and and think about? What's our focus? You know, it it can be more, you know, more tied to like self-love or fancy or just human connection. You know, there's so many ways I think for me, the holy grail can be attached to along with my kid, you know, it's that it's the human connection, like I have a Cody and and other life. And I mean, those are things that are significant, I really feel like. And so I think it it also boils down to like if it's something that you really value, and and again, I've talked about this intentionality before, right? But it's like, what am I what am I doing? What are the relationships that I want in my life? What am I putting into maintaining and strengthening? And you see the benefits when you do that for the most part, you know what I mean? You get that reciprocity aspect of it, and I think that's another level of it. It's like, yes, I can be the best version of me, but what does that mean with my relationship with other people? You know, it can go back to the whole like drawing boundaries and just surrounding yourself with all that positive energy and and letting go of that negative energy almost. And it's like, okay, my journey is my journey. Yes, we can have similarities. Yes, we can maybe even be searching for a similar thing, but my journey is still my journey, and I I own that. Nobody else can take that away. And so I I also kind of think the holy grail is kind of like that. Like nobody can take my kid away from me. You know what I mean? Right. Spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, all those things. I'm attached to that thing, that person. Yeah, no, I agree. But like that having that, having that, I don't know what you call it, but just like that, that feeling, that knowing that it's mine, it's mine, and no matter what, nobody can take that from me. Just like your relationship with God, yeah. Nobody can take that away from you, nobody can fit in your life, but nobody can take it away from your life either. And so there's power in that. So I think we can also look at it as something that empowers us and that we have control over in more ways than not.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

Um no, I agree, I agree. I love what you said. I mean, that is so true. And I I feel the same for you, like my relationships, those relationships like you and my my sister Latanya in Florida, you know, there's different people in my life that, yes, they're they're part of that holy grail as well because you bring significance, you know, and it's like we pour into each other. I think that's another thing. You know, it's like we want to see our, you know, see our best selves, you know, even if we're going through ups and downs and stuff, like, you know, we could talk about it. We can, you know, we we edify, like you said, that empowerment. And I think that's a huge thing for us to be able to identify in our lives what are those things that does empower us, what helps us to, you know, like you said, be our best selves. And it could be anything. I mean, like I said, it could be your craft, it could be your loved ones, it could be your spiritual growth, it can be, you know, anything like personally like to travel, and you know, that's their way of you know, connecting to life and whatnot. So yeah, I I I think like I love what you said because it's it's different for each of us. I just think at the at the end of the day, it's like you want to make sure that whatever it is that your your holy grill is, right? That it's something that's uh that just helps you to uh to I would say be successful, but when I say successful, I say that in a broader context, not just like, oh, I accomplished this, but something that that you enjoy, like helps you to enjoy whatever this your journey of life looks like. You know, it it it adds to you, you know, it strengthens you, it you know, makes you smile, you know. What are those things? You know, even when we go through our ups and downs, you know, it still is there to encourage you.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

Your passion.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Yeah, something we make happy. I mean, you know, and going back to the control aspect of it, you know, especially in this day and time, you know, there's so many things that are outside of our control that it is important to kind of narrow down your focus and realize, okay, like, yes, all these things are happening in the world, but I can still do my life, I can still make an impact the way that I want to, even though if even if I don't feel like it's somebody's somebody else's expectation or whatnot, it's like knowing that to that whole, like this is just my expectation of myself. And so if it comes from you, then you're more likely to achieve it. If it comes from somebody else, then you're more likely not to achieve it. Or it doesn't have that same, it's not as impactful. And so I think of that holy grail as again, it it's yours, and you know, knowing that is you know, is powerful. And it's like, no, okay. Like I may have all these other issues that I'm working through, but but I have this that's steady and it's and it's gonna be steady because I am putting my effort and making it a priority to be steady, you know.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Absolutely. And so I'm just thinking, like, if if you know, if there's somebody listening and they're probably thinking, like, well, what is my holy grail? Do I have one? Like, what are some ways that that you would think stormy that would help somebody to be able to to grasp or identify what that holy grail may be in their life?

SPEAKER_00 14:32

I mean, I think you can look at it, you know, like taking a moment for yourself and really it's almost like doing some reflections on what are you grateful for in a sense. Like what are things in your life that mean something to you? Like going back to the basics. Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food to eat? Do you have hot water to shower in? Like it doesn't have to be some big thing. It doesn't have to be this promotion that you've always wanted, or winning the lottery, or things that are really for most of us outside of our reality, you know, so it's it's more tangible. It's like, okay, well, it's my monthly manicure time. Yeah, it's so it's again kind of tied into what I talk about self-care, self-love, those kinds of things. Like what makes me feel good? So if it's taking an art class, if it's having a wine date with your bestie, if it's, you know, going to a movie with a friend or a or significant other or whoever, if it's cooking a meal with somebody that you care about, or cooking a meal for somebody that you care about, yeah, really doesn't have to be something that's out of the ordinary, you know what I'm saying? It can be part of your routine, but still be special. You know, for me, like every Friday, now does this have over really and truly happen every Friday? Well, no, but 95% of the time it does. I make pizza Friday night. Like I make the dough, I do it all, and I look forward to it. Now that that may seem very silly and basic because yes, we gotta eat, but it's something that I enjoy. And my kid, even though he doesn't eat it, he'll always say, It's Friday, what are we making today? Because he, you know, talks in question form a lot of times. Right. He knows the answer. And then he'll just say, It's pizza night. And and so it's just it's those little things that again mean something to me, regardless of what they would mean to somebody else. You know, and it's it's just something that again I look forward to on a weekly basis. And again, it can be an iced coffee, uh, you know, I mean, it it can be writing a letter to somebody, it could be posting a picture on social media of something that means something to you. You know what I mean? Again, we're not talking about something elaborate, it's just looking at your life and really kind of thinking, what is what is it that I really care about? Who do I really care about? And start from there, you know. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Yeah, I I I agree. I agree with you a thousand percent. And you know, I was just thinking about what are some other, you know, holy grails in my life? For me, I like making playlists. Yeah, I have my YouTube, like subscribe to YouTube, and you know, I make my feel good lists, you know, lists of songs that really motivates me or just encourage me, or just, you know, that are just just songs that I enjoy. You know, I will go and make playlists and I'll make it public so other people can, you know, whether it's for workouts or whether it's for, you know, travel and I like doing that. Another thing that I like, of course, I talked about this in the other episodes, is that I like making lists. Lifts make me happy. I don't know why, but they, you know, writing down what I'm doing and using my highlighters and all that stuff. I mean, because I love color. I don't have a favorite color because I like it, just depends on the day, you know, what's my color? Today my color is gray. I like gray, you know, but so just finding out what that is that I don't know, that brings you joy. I like what you said, you know, and it's like I said, it's not something elaborate. It's something that generally that you enjoy. For some of us, it might be, you know, working out. It could be, you know, going on long walks, or I mean, it could be anything. You know, some of us, it could be our pets. Our pets is like our holy crail, you know, and they bring joy to me and you know, and it pushes me to go and go out for walks and stuff like that because I need to make sure, you know, he or her is taken being taken care of, you know, whatever that is. I think that's I think that's the most important thing. It's just really it's I think having this discussion and having this conversation, it does, it breaks it down to what are the things like you said, Stormy, what am I grateful for? What am I thankful for? And it really breaks down what are those things that truly that I really appreciate, you know, and then from there being able to identify, well, you know what, I really do like X, Y, Z. You know, I really do like doing this. And it really does bring me joy. You know, maybe I didn't think about that before because we know life is life, and and we know it we're in a hustle and bustle, everybody's doing whatever, but just really taking time to pause and say, you know what, what am I grateful for? What is it that that I truly enjoy? Like for me, I like painting. Have I done it in a while? I haven't done it in a while, but that's something that really brings me joy, you know, and I guess that would be a way for us, like you said, just pausing and just saying, what are those things? You know, having a little list. What are the things that, you know, that I that I enjoy? Or, you know, like I said, I'm grateful for, you know, having a roof over my head, having food, and and just really just breaking it down and not making it this big you know, overwhelming task, but just be like, it's just little things like just write down what do you like, you know, do you like watching cartoons? Do you like do you like your, you know, your I don't know, your K dramas that you like to watch on Netflix? I mean, whatever it is, but just being able to identify it. And and once you're able to identify it, and I I would say for me, it just it just brings you back to that place man. I'm I'm really am thankful. I really am glad that because you know it's something that I do enjoy. And sometimes I never thought about it in that way. And it just helps me to look have something to look forward to. I'll say it in that way.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

So yeah. Well, and and I think on the other side of that too is making sure that it's that it's not someone or something that you're for lack of a better word, settling for, you know, and I mean yeah, talk about like things that we want in our life, things that we feel like we deserve. Sometimes we overlook signs that maybe something is not really the best for us, but we're searching for love or connection or whatever it may be. And so we're more willing to sometimes overlook certain red flags and flaws and things because we want that feeling, we want that piece of it. And so it is important to really look at like you were mentioned earlier, Cody, you know, like is it helping me or hindering me? We we do want to look at that aspect of it and know that this is something that's gonna push me, you know. Push me to do something better. Push me to go take my dog out for a walk. Push me to go to the gym. Push me to make that smoothie in the morning instead of eating the donut. You know what I mean? Whatever it is, something that motivates you, but also something that's like, no, you know what? Like, I deserve this. I deserve this at my level, at the level that I am expecting. And I'm not, I'm not gonna settle. You know, yes, in a way, be a double-edged sword, but at the same time, yeah, you know yourself better than anybody. So you know what your standards are, what your expectations are. Just because somebody or something is offering a piece of what you want, don't let that just be the only motivation to go get it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Right. No, I'm glad that you brought that up. You know, helping us to be able to identify what is that, because like you said, we we know ourselves the best, right? And we know what is something that will take away from us, that will subtract from us. And yeah, we just and you know, sometimes that's hard to do because it might be that one thing that we like, yeah, I really want this, but but at the end of the day, when you really look at it, what are the pros and cons? Like, how is this being, you know, is a good thing in my life, or is this something that's you know, detrimental? And being able to be honest, I think it goes back to us being honest about what is it that I have in my life that's really helping me. And sometimes that's hard. I'm not gonna lie. You know, for for some of us, it's like it might be that one relationship that, you know, you you've had for years, but it could be not only just romantic, but it could be platonic. You know, it could be something that, you know, I've known her or I've known him or I've known them for years, but you step back and think like, have I grown from this relationship, or have I just have I stayed stagnant? I mean, that's something, and I like that you brought that up because sometimes we have to step back and look at that, like whatever I'm in, are they expecting me to be this way or they allow me to flourish? Yeah, you know, so that's another way. Even even our jobs, it could be even our careers. It could be, I mean, it could be so many different things. But just I think it's I think like what you said, just being able to break it down and just take time to to reflect. You know, I think we all need that time, you know, whether it's every couple of months or if it's once a year, or what, you know, just taking time to to reflect and say, you know, where am I? Where am I wanting to go? You know, am I helping myself? Am I am I growing? If I'm not, what do I need to do? You know, it's it's just taking time to really reflect and just just take time for you. Like you said, that self-love and just taking care of us. Because sometimes we don't, you know, we give, give, give. And you know, Stormy and I, we're we're both givers, so we can give, give, give, and while we're depleting ourselves. So we have to step back. And I think that's for all of us too. We just gotta step back and reflect and you know, um am I doing what I need to do to take care of me. Yeah, so yeah, it's one of those yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

Tied into the holy grail. It's like again, you want to make sure things in your life and people are leading you, helping you get to a holy grail and not blossom. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

I think that's great. I don't think that's I mean, that's the takeaway, really.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Yeah, yeah. It really is, you know, just don't let people or something stand in your way of getting what you want. Of I mean, in a in an appropriate way. You know, y'all know one by that, but right. It really is. It's like don't don't settle, know your worth, go after what you want, and and you're gonna get it, you know, because a holy grail is also, I mean, it's whatever you put the significance on to like nobody's gonna say, oh, this is your holy grail. Oh, you should want X, Y, and Z because I have X, Y. No, that's not the way it works. Like, you want that for your life, and that's fine, but this is what I want for my life, and and not feel like you have to change that for somebody else because again, it's your life, it's not anybody else's, so it's what you want it to be. That's within your power, and that's your I love it.

SPEAKER_01 26:48

Hey, I love that, and that's so true. I think this is a kick of discussion. We did good, yes, yes, yes, yes, Queen, yes. This is really good because we were we were thinking, like, how are we going to talk about this? And I'm just glad that we were able to to talk about this and to share with you all that's listening out there. So, like Stormy said, you know, find out what that is for you. You know, just take your time, you know. You don't it doesn't have to be something elaborate, but yeah, what helps you? What benefits you? What's a goal? And it's not about nobody else, it's about you. What's what's important to you? So that's the takeaway for today. So we're glad that you guys were with us, and we look forward to being with you all again. So have an amazing day.