S2: Episode 5 - Seasons of Change: "Resist or Assist?"

Stormy and Kodi discuss ways to embrace the changes we go through in life. (song suggestion: "Seasons Change" - Expose')

Your goodie for the day. Thank you for listening. :) 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the goodie shop for your mental health. My name is Cody. My name is Stormy. And we are glad that you're with us today. So today we're going to talk about seasons of change. Do we resist or do we resist? That's a mouthful. But we're going to dive right on into it. Oh wow. Man, stormy, stormy, stormy. So much. So much can be discussed. Yeah. This episode. But we're going to make it worth your while. Out there, those that are listening. Oh, stormy, stormy, stormy. I tell you. How are you, my dear?

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Well, it is funny that we talk about seasons of change, as in it's now spring for one thing. That always comes with a lot of change in and of itself.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

It's just a process of going from one thing to the next. And that's kind of what we'll dive into today and really talk about some of our own experiences with that. And just hopefully reminding people that, you know, again, you're not alone. And we say that every time, but also learning how to embrace life's unexpected changes, you know, is not always an easy thing. But at the same time, it's it's an opportunity, you know, to really look at where we are in our lives and really kind of take a moment to think about where we want to go next. You know, what move do we want to make next? And it doesn't always look like what we thought, and that's okay. But allowing yourself time to kind of process through all the ifs, ands, why buts that are out there, and just reminding yourself that you're gonna be okay, because it's a season of change, so it's only temporary subject. Right.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Oh man, you hit the mail right on the head. And of course, for you all listening out there, when we do these podcasts, this is in real time. This is not P script, it's just we just talk about the raw, authentic journeys that my dear friend and I go through. And so, speaking of seasons of change, I'm going through a season of change myself. I received some unfortunate, devastating news this past week that literally is going to change and turn my world upside down. So a two-year process of pursuing a license, unfortunately, to learn that I have to do the process all over again. Now, talk about change, right? That is definitely a change. Life is about change, just like Stormy said, like we're in spring, things change, things blossom, things you know, dissipate, oh things, you know, just things adjust, they shift, all of these things. So yeah, it's really about what do we do? How do we respond when change happens? So Stormy, you hit it right on the head.

unknown 4:05

Woo!

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Yeah, I mean, I know it that initial like potential devastation, shock, and all those things, and and it just goes back to almost like we were talking about just earlier, you know, taking a pause, like giving yourself a moment to breathe and think, okay, this is the direction that I thought my life was headed. And now there's a pause, it's not a stop, it's a pause, it's a rerouting. And so it's just more about do I look at it as not necessarily a negative because it, I mean, it of course it changes everything and it's devastating to start anything over again. You know, when when we're talking about a licensure for people that are out there that don't know, it's like applying to school, grad school. It's like applying to a new job. You gotta do, you know, applications, you gotta do the background checks. Background checks, you gotta do your transcripts from schools, you've got to do recommendations, you've got to damn. Yeah, I mean, it's like a whole thing, right? That's always anxiety ridden, even in the beginning initially. And so people that have to think about redoing that process, then it really does become like, okay, like I'm just gonna buckle up and do it again, or or what? What what's the next option? And it just it really, I mean, if you think about it, it's kind of cathartic or a catharsis prospect. I don't know if I'm saying that term correctly, but the way that it's spring and this is happening, you know what I mean? Like it's like this is the season for it to be one of those things that it's like, okay, this is not being it. This is the beginning of something different, yeah. And like I said, just giving yourself that space to like be frustrated, be angry, be pissed, be cry, whatever you want to do. And then it's time to be like, okay, but that was in part outside of my control, in my control in some ways, but also not. But that's that's always part of life. We can all like have dreams and have things that we work towards, and we realize, yeah, even though we put in the hard work, it doesn't always mean that we get what we were hoping to get. So true.

unknown 6:38

So true.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

And so I think that that in and of itself like helps to remind us like, again, that doesn't mean that we're not in the field that we want to be in or that we're not pursuing something that we want that we truly want to pursue and are meant to be in. It's just about, okay, this isn't the direction. There's yeah, other routes to doing what we what Cody and I do. There's different routes, you know, it's not there's not one lane to do it. And it's just making sure that you really, like I said, take time for yourself to, you know, think about what what you want, you know, because it is at the end of the day, it's our life. And if other things are making things too complicated, then sometimes it's okay to just be like, you know what? I don't need that challenge right now. Yeah. Or am I ready for it? You know, it's it's either or. So there's no right or wrong answer, you know. That that's the biggest thing too. It's like there's not a oh, I have to do this because I put all this money and time into it. And it's like, well, yes, that's important, but that's not everything. So yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

You know, like it's during this time. I was just like, you know, I just I thought of a quote that I always say to myself, it's not a step back, but it's a step pivot. What I mean by that is that, yes, and I love how you said that, Stormy. Like sometimes you might put all the efforts, everything that you, you know, you're trying to do into this one thing or things, and sometimes it doesn't pan out the way you want. So when that happens, what do we do? How do we look at that? What is our perception? That's what I'm trying to say. When it happens, and I'm glad that you you identified and you brought awareness to yes, you're gonna go through feelings, and that's part of the process. You know, you're gonna be upset. It's okay to be upset, it's okay to be angry. You know, I was one of those people that, you know, oh, I'm okay, everything's fine, everything's good. No, it's not. I'm I'm mad, I'm upset, I'm angry, you know, own that, and that's okay. But then, like you said, Stormy, and I love how you said it, just regroup. It's like give your time, step back, take a pause, you know, regroup. What do you have to do, you know, to help yourself and say, okay, this is happening right now. What are my next steps? And just taking taking that time. And like I said, we're talking in real time. That's what I'm doing in this very moment. So I just think it's so funny that we're talking about seasons of change. And, you know, life is life then. I mean, I know we talked about that in our other podcast, but it is. We go through highs, we go through lows, but it's like, how do what do we do when change happens in our life? Do we just kind of almost like flight or fight or freeze or fawn? You know, we just we just let things just be, and we just don't do anything. We just stand there. So how do we respond? So I'm just glad we're talking about seasons of change because it really boils down to what is our perception when change does happen in our lives? How do we approach it? Like you said, Stormy, do we take a pause? Do we just rev up and just get so upset and we just kind of blow out of proportion, you know, just you know, just fall all to pieces? Like, how do we respond when change happens? How do we even view change? What are your thoughts about that? Like, do you think that it really plays a significant role in how we approach change? What are your thoughts, Dorney?

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Yeah, I mean, I think it it's all about it's all about perception. You know, the way we look at things, and it's like not everything that happens outside of our control is gonna be negative, but also doesn't mean it's always gonna be positive, just in the sense of things can end not on your heart, you know, things can whether I'm talking about relationships, sure, just connection in general, things end, and sometimes we're kind of more forced into making changes than we initially thought we were ready for, but sometimes without a little push, we don't when we stay stagnant. So there's all two sides of it, you know, it's like change is inevitable, right? Change is gonna happen whether we like it or not. It's in that of life. So I think while it's obviously very important to have goals and things that you are working towards on a daily, weekly, monthly, however often basis, but it's also about having that flexibility of your mindset and understanding that kind of just tagging off to what I said earlier, you know, it's like we get so sometimes caught up in this is the only direction, this is the only road I see. I put all my eggs in a basket type of a thing. And it's like, well, when that doesn't work, then does that mean we're not where we're supposed to be, or does that mean it just looks a little different? And so I can look at it both of those ways, but it's which way is gonna stick, which one is gonna benefit me the most? Am I am I gonna allow myself to stay in this mad, sad, angry hole? Or am I gonna use that as like a motivation to be like, you know what? Maybe this is what I thought I wanted, but maybe I don't want that, or maybe I do, and again, I'm gonna go do whatever I need to do to get back on that track. But what if I don't? What if this is a reality of like maybe that wasn't the road that I needed to be on?

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Right. So true. Yeah, absolutely. You know, I mean, it just like I said, we're talking in real time. Um, even for myself, like, does that mean do I go through the process again here in the state? Or does that mean that will I have the opportunity to look in other places, other states to see what opportunities are out there? You know, it's but it's so imperative that we have the right lens in when when we're going through things. Because like it can really make or break us. And we do, we can sometimes we are on this, like you said, this this one-way street. And we're like, excuse me, y'all, but you know, you're just like, I gotta get this done, I gotta get this done. And we fail to see the other things that are around us or the other opportunities. So when change, when change happens, sometimes it brings us to a halt. And sometimes it does. It has a way of shaking us up and uh helping us to broaden our perception and looking at these other opportunities. But storming, yeah, you're on it. I'm just like, wow. And oh man, I tell you, change. I love how you said change is inevitable because it's gonna happen whether we like it or not. So it's just a matter of how do we move forward when things shift? How do we more? What does that look like for us? And it's gonna look different for each and every one of us, you know. Like I said, some of us need to pause, some of us we might scream into a pillow, some of us we might, you know, just just a process, whatever you need to do to help yourself to to stay focused, but like I said, at the same time, allowing yourself that time to grieve, honestly. You go through a grieving process because what you thought, like you said, Stormy, I thought it was going to happen this way. And when it doesn't, yeah, there's there's there's grieving there. And once you go through that process, and as you go through that process, then it's like you have to kind of put yourself back together for some of us who come, you know, fall apart, you know, put yourself back together and say, okay, what do I need to do in order to move forward? What are those things that I need to do for myself? And just really taking time to not only just process it in our minds, but sometimes we have to write it out. You know, writing out, writing out, like, okay, if I do this, well, I could do this, you know, this option, I have this option, or whatever it is. Like I said, and I love that you said this, Norming, that it could be relationship, it could be job, it could be losing a loved one, it could be loss. I mean, change happens in so many shapes and forms, and it's gonna happen. So it's it's a matter of how do I get through this? Like, not only how do I get through this, so how do I get through this in a healthy way that would be beneficial for me? Like you said, Stormy. You know, we we want it to be something that's gonna help us, not harm us, yeah, you know, or hinder us, but allows us to still grow because to be honest, when change is happening, we are literally still growing. You know, we're still learning. Like I said, I always tell myself all the time, we're either, as long as we're on this earth and we're breathing, we are either learning, relearning, or unlearning. But we're always doing something, we're always learning something. It's just a matter of how we how we approach it.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Yeah. I mean, and and obviously the gist of what we're talking about is is mental health and and just be to self-regulate in those moments and be able to cope and and and feel like we're gonna be okay and and know that, you know, and have people that you know support us and that we're able to lean on when and if that it's needed, you know, and that saying, you know, it takes a village to raise a kid type of a thing. It's like, well, it's the same with adults, you know, we really do need our own village in that way, you know, our own support system. Because again, it's not it's not about just living in that solitary space where it's like you and you're the only one that's going through whatever it is you're going through. It's or reaching out and saying, Hey, help me, you know what I mean? And you're not saying it in those words, but it's more of a you know a text here and there, eating up for lunch, like Cody and I try to do, or do it's little things that show other people that you're invested, and it's and it's just a way to kind of comfort yourself and that other person or other people, you know, and it's it's really important to kind of recognize when we need other people and when we need to step away and kind of deal with something by ourselves because both both are important. Yeah, they are. We have to kind of find that balance of okay, I can be by myself and grieve or process on my own for a little bit, but then I also need to reach out. So I can't I can't get stuck in one of those and not, you know, not be in the other. Because I think a lot of times we also get caught up in not wanting to be by ourselves, you know, not yeah. There's a lot of people that like search for that constantly and just like when they're by themselves, they feel like something's off, you know, and I'm so it's like it really is learning how to like sit with yourself and be okay with that quietness, excuse me, quietness and peacefulness, but that's also important to reach out and be social as well. So it's I I say that all the time. It's it's really all about finding your own balance because again, my balance is gonna look different than Cody's, you know, and it's not it's not some universal balance that we're talking about, it's a balance for your individual life that's important for you to kind of sit down and be like, okay, like let's say three days a week I can like kind of chill by myself, do my own thing, work, do what I need to do, and then fourth or fifth day, I'm gonna need to reach out to somebody.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Yeah, absolutely. Like that. Yeah. And I like that because and in this, when when this is happening in our lives, it helps us, as you're just as you were describing it, it helps us to to be more aware of what we need.

unknown 20:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

And I think that's one thing that I appreciate when life does happen, change does happen, even in the moment, even in the moment of that vulnerability, you're still able to strengthen yourself because you're still learning about you and things that I need, the things that, you know, will help me to be successful. And I love that you said if I could, it is, it's like a balancing act. It really is. And like I said, you're not gonna know everything when things happen all the time. Like I said, you're it's it's called adjustment, you know, you're just going through life and you're having to adjust how I go about things. Just like, you know, for myself, you know, you know, my spiritual walk is is, you know, is important to me. And there's moments where I did, I had to take time, like just be in solitude, be, you know, talking to God, praying. What are those things? You know, taking those drives, you know, I like to get in the car, drive around, you know, being able to reach out to my sister and to you, my friend, and kind of process what was going on. I mean, those things are really important. And at the same time, it's allowing me to see the strength in me, but also see that I'm always forever learning. And that's a good place to be. And I think for a lot of us, sometimes because of how society kind of throws a spin on things, like you should, you should, you should already know this. You should already have this and you need this. You know, it has a way of causing us to feel like we don't have enough or I'm not doing enough. No, that's a lie. You know, because like like Stormy said, you know, and like you said, Stormy, my walk is going to be different than your walk. You know, how we process things. It's going to be different. And that's the beautiful thing. And we can learn from each other as we're going through. You know, some of us, I have a sister in Florida, like for some reason, and it's so crazy, Stormy. It's like we're always going through similar things at the same time. Crazy. Like, you know, so it's it's an unreal. But when that happens, it's like, how do you encourage one another? You know, what are the things that you have to do for yourself? So it's it's just, it's just learning. It's just growth. It's just, it's just part of this journey called life. And we're gonna go through it. But like you said, Stormy, it's all about, you know, how do we go through it? You know, how do, you know, when shift does happen, it happened our life, you know, do we how do we respond? And what do I want to do different? Because at the end of the day, it's really about what is best for you, not about anybody else. People can tell you, do this, do that, but at the end of the day, it's like, what is best for you?

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Right. Man, yeah. I mean, yeah, that that that's so true because I think so many times we get caught up in that kind of external pressure, or even even if it's not something that's said, it's something that sometimes we feel or shown, or show, yeah. And and so it's like again, this kind of change really forces us to be like, okay, what do I want to do? Like, is this going to be something that is a challenge, but that I want to have a challenge with? Or is this something that I want to pivot to something to some other direction and and try for something different? You know, it's like again, it's not there's no right or wrong answer. It's not good or bad. It's just it is what it is what it is, even though I was just setting out a nine. But in a sense, it it's the way it is. And so you either have to look at it like, okay, I can I can get through this. There's just some other doors I gotta knock down first, you know, or whatever it is, and just know that you can still have things to look forward to. I mean, we talk about like milestones and things that things throughout your life that you're gonna celebrate. And so I think part of having the seasons of change and discussing it is really also a reminder of even when there's stressors going on, there's still a lot of great things that are happening and that we can look forward to as well. You know, whether you consider them a milestone or or not, that's you know, your prerogative, but it's just, you know, taking a look at your life and kind of having that, like, okay, well, I did accomplish that this, I did accomplish this, things like that just to kind of reground yourself and re you know, give yourself those props of like, you're still making progress, you're still doing a lot of great things, you still have a lot of great things going on, you know, despite some bumps in the road type of thing, you know, because I think a lot of times we do almost forget about those things that we are actually grateful for and only tend to focus on those stressors on the milestone we supposedly thought we needed to make.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

No, you're you're absolutely right. And I'm so glad that you brought up milestones because we do the milestone could be anything. It could be like a significant event that happened in your life. It could be maybe a marker like that you've that you've placed for yourself, or it could be maybe a stage in development, you know, maybe your personal development, whatever that looks like. Or like you said, could be achievement. I mean, the milestone can be anything. I mean, it's not just one thing, it's not just about your employment, or it's not just about a relationship, it could be about anything. How you know, whatever's going on in your life and what you're progressing towards. So I'm glad that you said milestone. Because yeah, sometimes we when we think of milestone, we just kind of put it in a box and say, okay, this is what it's gotta be. But no, it's it's it can be a number of things.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

And I tell you, life is definitely life, and I tell you that. And it's not nope, it's not. Not anytime soon. Not anytime soon. So yeah, and and uh I appreciate when you talked about the, you know, the external forces too, and then not only the external forces, but even what we're dealing with within, you know. Like you said, it's not, you know, and I like that you said too that, you know, at the end of the day, it's about what we can be thankful for, too. And that gratitude is so so vital and it's so imperative for us to have in our life because we do, we can get to the point to where, because we're experiencing so many cursors or stressors in our life, and get to the point to where it can become overwhelming, to where it could take you to a breaking point. But it's something about gratitude and thankfulness that really helps kind of reel us back in and help us and recognize like, you know what? I'm still standing. You know what? You know what? I can feel the wind on my face because I'm still alive, you know. Yes, it was devastating. Yes, this is going on, but at the same time, I'm still present, you know, and now can do something different, or now I can, you know, X, Y, Z, whatever it is. So I'm glad that you brought that up, Stormy, because we do sometimes we forget the things. And it's the little things. It's not like, oh, I'm grateful for the big, you know, it's just, man, I can wake up in the morning and actually, you know, get a cup of coffee. I mean, just like I said, gratitude, thankfulness. It's imperative when we're going through these seasons of change and kind of bringing us back to, you know, just like I said, going back to perception. How do we view it? How do I how do I move forward? It goes back. It's like this, it's like this, you know, never-ending cycle. It kind of reminds me of, you know, because speaking of mental health, when we talk about that, we talk about the stages of change. When I think about stages of change, uh hey, I think that talk about seasons as well. This would be so many, you know, because there's so many different things. It's like, how do you respond? Am I ready to change? Am I not ready to change, or am I ready to maintain, or am I ready to, you know. Recontemplation, contemplation, maintenance. Do I want to do something? You know, that kind of stuff. I know we're like, what are you? You're probably like, what are y'all talking about? But look it up. Stages of change. It will, yes. It's I'm, you know what? I think you can really it can pertain to anything that you're going through in your life. Not just substance use, you know, not just mental health, but just life in general. Yeah. Yeah. So, but yeah, girl, I tell you, boy, boy, boy, boy. This was a good one because we are like those that are listening right now, I'm pretty sure that you are going through some season in your life or some change in your life, and you're probably like, How in the world am I gonna get through this? But just know that you will get through it. You will get through it. But just like I said, just as Stormy and I always say, give yourself grace. That's important, you know. Like I said, we're not here to be perfect. Always saying we are perfectly imperfect and we are forever learning. So please give yourself grace. If you are in a moment of change, don't be so hard on yourself. Embrace the moment. Be, you know, you know, just think about the things you could be grateful for, and at the same time, you're owning where you are.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

Yeah, I mean, I think that's a great takeaway for today, you know, is just giving yourself grace and yeah, giving yourself that time to reflect and know that, you know, no decision needs to, you know, specifically be made by this moment. You know, I I know there's always some sort of a deadline, but at the same time, you still can pause and give yourself grace.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

That's right. I love it. Well, we're glad that you guys were with us today. We look forward to being with you all again.