S2: Episode 8 - Mental Health: "Who's Got You?"

Stormy and Kodi discuss understanding your mental health. (suggested song: "OK Not To Be OK" - Marshmello & Demi Lovato) 

Your goodie for the day. Thank you for listening. :) 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Goody Shop for Your Mental Health. My name is Cody. My name is Stormy. And today we're going to talk about mental health and who are the people that got your back. Okay, Stormy. You think about our podcast, right? It's called The Goody Shop for Your Mental Health. So this is the reason why we actually started doing this podcast because we know you and I both understand that mental health is important, right? But on top of that, us being able to do life together is just as important. And it's great that we both have each other's back as we go through life. Or us as say this journey we call life. So we're gonna talk about that today. So Stormy, girl, we made it. I feel like I sound like a man, so excuse me, y'all out there. If you're listening, I may sound a little different because my allergies are kicking my tail. But we're glad that you're with us. So Stormy, my dear, my girl, my homie, all the above. What's up?

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Hey, you know, I feel you with the allergies. It's you know, one of the one of those things that doesn't seem to go away, unfortunately. But exactly. If you think about it, we can even tie that into mental health because you know, you deal with sounding like a man. Whatever whatever you want to, you know, going through allergies, it really can like put you down and make you, you know, just not feel your best or not have the energy to to do things. So we we gotta we gotta rally through a lot of things that people wouldn't necessarily think connects to mental health. And so I think that's kind of a part of why we're doing this specific podcast is to help people understand like all the different facets of mental health and everything, you know, it's such an umbrella, you know, there's so many pieces of it that we don't ever think about or associate with mental health. And so this hopefully will give you guys an opportunity to just, you know, increase your knowledge in that and just have more awareness in your own life to really kind of talk about what mental health looks like to you. Cause again, it's one of those, yes, it's a generic topic and there's so much to it, but it's also, you know, unique to you as well. So we also want to really make sure that people understand that, you know, whether it's depression, anxiety, OCD, whatever it is, then it's still gonna look different to each person. And knowing what, like I said, what that kind of looks like to you is is important.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Absolutely. No, I like that. That is so true. As I'm over here fighting to sneeze. So, but yes, absolutely. And you know, like I said, our our environment where we live, you know, some of us we might live in colder climates, some of us might live in warmer climates. That can even have an effect on our mental health too. So you could think about seasonal effective disorder, so that's a whole nother thing. We're not going to go into all the all of the technical terms, no, but anyway, but yeah, absolutely what you're saying is so important. Because when you think about what is mental health and what does that encompass, it encompasses like our emotional, psychological, and like our like our social well-being, you know, like affecting, as you were kind of like pretty much alluding to, like how we think, how we act, how do we handle stress, all of those different aspects. So I mean, yeah, it just the the different things that that hinders our ability or that influences our ability to just to function in life, you know, especially when life challenges happen. Because we know, I know we have we have an episode that talks about life is lifing. And it is like we are always going through whether it's ups or downs, or if we're, you know, about to approach something, going through something, or we're coming out of something. So our mental health, you know, encompasses all of those different aspects of what we go through. So, yes, so man, this is important, this is an important topic, though. It really is, because like I said, when you think about mental health too, it's not only just kind of like our emotional well-being, but also just kind of like our biological factors, kind of like the genetics, the experiences that we've been through, all of those different aspects kind of encompasses what our mental health is.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

So yeah, it's important, you guys. So if you're out there listening, yes, your mental health is important. You are important, and it is imperative that you have the support that you need as you as you continue on this journey called life.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Yeah, I mean, I think when you tie it into, I mean, it's not it's not only just about us, it's about, you know, when you talk about the functionality and you talk about, you know, relationships with people, your ability to function in the in the work world and the social world and your family world and those relationships, and you know, understanding that you don't have to go through it alone. And there are people in your life, you know, that that are support and really kind of identifying those people and re and being able to reach out, you know. I think those are two very important steps that we often fail to see, whether it's because, you know, we're just we don't want to be a burden. There's so many reasons why people just kind of have that idea of I'm just gonna get through this on my own. I don't want to add stress to somebody else. Uh if if I talk about it, then it makes it more real. Right. Then I have to deal with it. I'm just gonna push it away and act like it's not affecting me. I'm not gonna let it. You know, there's so many ways that in our head we can kind of explain symptoms away. Obviously, it doesn't make them go away, but we have that moment where it's like, oh, it's not that bad. Or we compare ourselves to somebody else, and and so we're we're not even validating ourselves. And that's what's so important is in fact to validate yourself, because validating what you're going through helps you be able to reach out and say, hey, you know what? I need help, and recognizing that, you know, there's gonna be moments when we need help, and that's okay. It it all goes back to, and I know we've touched on this before, but you know, there there's strength in asking for help. And you think that that's a sign of weakness. Oh, you should be tougher, oh you that shouldn't bother you, whatever it is. And it's like, well, no, like this is bothering me. This is my, this is how I'm dealing with it, or this is how it's affecting me, you know, regardless of how somebody else may be affected, this is how I'm affected, and that's okay. And so knowing those people, like I said, who are your support and your support system is important, whether it's a boss, a coworker, a partner, a friend, sister, an aunt, you know, whoever it is, and you're a coach, just whoever, it it's so important that we kind of realize that there, like I said, that there are people in your life that can help and view them as a support, and you can have that verbalization, like, hey, just so you know, like I consider you part of my support system. That's right. So it's not something to shy away from, it's not something to not talk about. It's it is really important to make that clear to people so that they know, like you and I know, like you just said, like, got your back, you have mine, type of a thing. But that's because we talk about it and then we also follow through with our actions. Yes, we're intentional about it. And and that's the thing with support too, is you may have those people in your life that you thought were support or supporting you. Maybe they didn't show up for you the way that you wanted to or needed them to, and that's that's part of the process too. You know, it's it's it's learning that not every person is gonna be that support that you're looking for, right? That's why it's important to really think about what do I need in this situation? And again, being able to verbalize that to somebody and and let them know what you need, and then they can decide if they're you know able to to support you in that way or not. And you just keep going, you just keep acting, you keep searching because there's gonna be somebody, yes, and or something that is considered your support system. It doesn't always have to be a person. Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

No, I agree. I agree with everything you're saying, and it's so on point. And as you were talking, I was thinking about like not only having that support right. So, what do you think that some of the warning signs could be for us when it comes to, you know, maybe, you know, maybe having those moments where your mental health is maybe not at its best. You know, there's you're going through, you know, not only just going through a situation, but sometimes our bodies has a way of kind of letting us know, giving us an alarm, like, hey, you know what, I'm not not so great. So when I say like warning signs, like sometimes it could be like changes in our eating pattern, right? Um, it could be maybe, maybe withdrawn from activities that we really, really enjoy. You know, that could be kind of like an indicator, like, hey, you know, as you were saying, you know, knowing, having that awareness, as you were saying, as you were saying, Stormy, of when do I need to reach out?

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

When do I know that something there's kind of like a red flag, like, okay, maybe low energy. Maybe you're just like, you're usually on the go. And I don't know, lately, you just kind of like down and out, or just kind of like this blah type of feeling. Those can be some of like those indicators of like, hey, you know what? I need to check in, because we really do for ourselves, like having that check-in moment, not only just within ourselves, but even with each other. Like you were saying, like you and I, we do. We'll check in, like, hey girl, you know, how how's your week going? How even when we do our podcast, it's like, hey, how's your weekend? What's going on? You know, how are things going? And I love that about us because it's it's not just something we have to do, quote unquote, but it's something we want to do. It's intentional. And it's a it's a it's a two-way street. It's not just just one giving and one taking. It's about we understand the importance of mental health, we understand the importance of our friendship, and we want to see each other succeed. You know, we want to see each other, you know, live our fullest life. And, you know, and we can laugh and we can joke and you know, we could talk about serious conversations and you know, uh it's great. I mean, it's healthy for us, even even when it's uncomfortable, it's still important and it's still, you know, it's still uplifting and strengthening for both of us.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Yeah. Well, and you never know, sometimes just giving somebody the space to open up and to acknowledge what's going on. You know, sometimes we don't even realize how we're feeling until somebody safe says, How are you doing? Are you feeling okay? You know, and and then we again have that place, that space to really process with ourselves and with somebody else how things, how things are going, you know. And that and that's what's so important is to have those initiating moments where you do check in with people and people check in with you, because we all that that's kind of how we hold each other accountable too, you know, and hold ourselves accountable. You know, if you if you start texting a friend, like if I started texting you and you wouldn't and you didn't respond for a day, I'm I'm calling you, I'm sending multiple texts, you know what I'm saying? Like if we don't if we don't hear from each other within really a couple of hours, if even that, then we're texting again or we're right enough. So that's important too. It's like I'm not just gonna send one text, and if I don't hear from you, then I'm just gonna give it up and be like, oh, they're too busy. No, right. I'm gonna keep on it until I get a response. And I think that's something that is underrated as well. You know, too many times we send that text and we don't hear from somebody, and then we have that assumption of, I guess they're all right, I guess they don't want to talk to me, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And then you just you don't follow up. And it's like we need we need that follow-up.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Yes. I'm telling intentionality, I think that's the biggest thing when it comes to uh, you know, what does support look like? It's intentional, it's not something like you said, we just do it one time and it's like, all right, don't want to talk to me anymore.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

I guess I just fall reach out, you know. It's like, you know, because even, you know, as we're talking about mental health struggles, it's also not to when things are going well. And if I get Cody texts me and says, How are you? And then something really great or exciting happened, it's exciting to then tell somebody, hey, well, this happened. Sorry I didn't message you right away. I just, this is what's going on. And then you both get to have that like good feeling of feeding off of each other in a positive way, too. So I I just want to put make sure that we acknowledge that part of it is that we're not just talking about, you know, reaching out to people when you're stressed. It's reaching out when things are going great. Yes. To have that confirmation of, hey, I want to share this good news with somebody who will be as invited as I.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Yes, celebratory, you know, towards one another, because we do, we want to see each other, you know, not only just succeed, but I would say even grow, you know, because we know that, you know, we're getting older, things are changing, and you know, like I said, we don't know it all. We don't. And I am okay with that, you know. You know, I always say life is about learning, unlearning, or relearning, you know. So it's like we're like growing together. So being able to celebrate you, stormy and the things that you do and the growth that you're having, you know, that those are celebratory times that we should, you know, embrace and enjoy. And I love, I'm so glad that you said that because we do, we just think about what we're always going through. And I I would even, that would be even a red flag, you know, like if I'm only only hearing from a friend or someone just when they're always going through something, but I never hear anything that's going great in their life.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

You know, and that's like, you know, like we need to kind of re kind of go back and reevaluate some things. It's so funny that we're talking about this because I when it when I think about mental health too, for me, I always think about like I said, yes, your support, but who who can I do life with that will that will not only just support me and encourage me, but would challenge me too. You know, having those uncomfortable, you know, conversations or you know, just wants to see, you know, me to be my best self. And that's that's what I really appreciate about our friendship. And if you're out there listening, I mean, one thing that's important is to have the right people around you. Even if you're you know, if you you know diagnosed with mental health disorder or substance use disorder, or even if you're not, just having the right support around you means everything, you know, because if you look at Stormy and myself, you know, like I said, she has a family, I don't have a family yet. We have differences, but yet we have similarities too, because like I said, we understand, we have a mutual understanding, we respect one another. I know that, you know, there's things that we can't always do all the time because, you know, she's taking care of a family and whatnot. So it's it's just, I don't know, just being, just being supportive. I guess that's I mean, that's the only word I can think about, you know, just that support in having that for each other and just that intentionality. I think that is the biggest thing. And I feel like in this society that we're in, and just over the years and whatnot, I feel like we've kind of strayed away from what is a friend? What does that look like? Um, what does that entail? And sometimes some of us, you know, maybe we have never even had like a very good friendship. And that's why when we're dealing with different, like there different things dealing with our mental health, it's like we don't feel like we can't reach out because it's like, well, I don't know, you know, I don't know if this person will be there. Like you were saying, Stormy. And so we just try to handle it on our own and be like this, okay. Well, once I'm fine, then we can start talking again. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

So yeah. Well, and I think that's why when when we're again talking about support, not just being like it's important to think about the resources and your environment and where you live and the town that you're in. You know, if if you really and truly feel like you don't have family, that you don't have anybody, there's still places that you can go to get extra support or additional support, whatever you want to call it. You know, and and so it is important to make sure that you do know a list of you know places that give that kind of support, whatever's kind of support you're looking for, whether it's group therapy type things, whether it's food and shelter, well, you know what, there's so many ways that there's so many opportunities for people to receive help that wouldn't even know Salvation Army, the Women Resource Center, you know, there know what's in your town and know what the services they provide, because again, we shouldn't feel alone. And I and I say that knowing that a lot of people do. And I say that so that you are reminded of okay, like I may not physically have anybody that I can count on, but I can walk into the women's shelter or the women's resource center or salvation army or whatever, again, whatever is in your area, seek help there. You know, you never know sometimes what somebody can do for you unless you ask, unless you say, I need help, and having that be something that is okay for you, because that's what those places are for, they are for helping you. So don't be afraid to reach out. I guess that's kind of the my biggest thing is don't be afraid to reach out.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

No, I love that. And you know what? And then we might have some that are listening. And I know for you know, for myself and whatnot, you think about even culturally, you know, when we talk about mental health, you know, culturally, and when I say culture, I'm not just talking about just ethnicity. I'm just talking about like, you know, how we view life, how we our attitudes, beliefs, all those different things. And sometimes we may be in a culture, like for me, you know, African American, French Creole, all the above, right? But I identify as black, okay? But sometimes maybe in our culture, you know, mental health is not really supported as much as it should be. And so when that happens, you know, how do we how do we continue to make sure we have that support? Especially if we can't, like you say, if we don't have our family around, if we don't have, you know, maybe you know, enough friends or whatever. I mean, for me, I'd say if you have at least one person that's that's got your back, I'm like, I I think you're doing great, you know. But I like what you said, you know, being able to go and reach out to those resources. So sometimes there might be a, you know, that could be a barrier, you know, culturally, you know, that could be a barrier and being able to obtain those resources. But there's, you know, with technology advancing the way it is, you know, being able in some way, shape, or form, being able to get what it is that you need to help you in that, in that in this journey called life, I guess you can say. Sometimes we don't think about that, but we do, but we don't until we actually end it. And it's just like, okay, can I can I reach out to my grandma or my mom or dad or you know, elders. you know, of my community, you know, as I'm going through. And sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's not. So just knowing what's what is best for you and how you should proceed forward to get what it is that you need. Because you're important. You matter. Every person, you know, in on this earth, I don't care what your beliefs are or whatever. And you know, we're all important. We're all needed. We were created for a reason. So that's how I look at it. Even in our ups and downs. But at the end of the day, it's important to to take care of you. You know, it's needed.

SPEAKER_00 22:39

So what are your thoughts about that? You know, I know I said, but I mean I I think that can that's pretty much a takeaway right there is that you matter and know your support, you know, I mean it's it's just having that reconfirmation that things can change for the better. And having that that hope and that belief and not being afraid to reach out. You know, it's it really is it can really come down to life or death for you know a lot of people. And it's like having that realization of again I want to be there for somebody just as much as want to be there for me. And it's people people are way more willing to help you than sometimes you even realize and that's why I say it's just going back to the intentionality. If you open a doorway for somebody you don't know what you're going to give and that's okay. It's it's helping you just as much as it's helping them.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Yeah no I agree. That is so true. We're all helping each other. I always say to myself I know we always use the word independent but I say we're really interdependent. You know we we not only do we need each other, you know, I mean we do. I mean we need that support in some way shape or form. I don't care if it's from our family or not from our family. I always say that friends are family I always say that friends are family members we meet along the way I mean you know so it's just depends on it's different for each and every one of us. And I think that's the beautiful part about when I think about mental health too it's like even though it has all these different components to it at the end of the day it's like we're all going through something. Like not one of us are not going through anything. And I think and just being able to do life together just makes it that much more I would say palatable you know because we know we're not alone and you know this situation's going on but doesn't mean it's the end of the world because we can keep moving forward. You know, one step at a time taking those baby steps. So just and I love what you said Stormy you know knowing your resources I'm I'm a weekend in with that too you know just know your resources you know what's what's around you uh and like I said just kind of sometimes reevaluating you know stepping back and really thinking about you know what do I have around me? What are those resources? What what is that support system? Because sometimes you know we'll be doing life and we're just going through the motions in this you know day in and day out sometimes we forget what's around us because we're you know we have this tunnel vision I need to get this done or I need to get that done and sometimes we forget like oh yeah I do have such and such and oh yeah I do have this support. So just sometimes sometimes we just got to take a pause take a pause step back reevaluate regroup you know all the reasons no I'm joking but so it just it just take care of ourselves because it's important and we know life is life is going to continue on and we just want to make sure that we experience it to the best of our ability so so for you all out there hopefully this was you know beneficial for you guys and we just hope that you're taking care of yourself and if you need support just know you got two people that support you and that's Stormy and myself in addition to whoever else that's in your life. So we're glad that you are with us and take care of yourself and if you can take care of someone else and we'll talk to you soon.