S2: Episode 10 - Living Your Best Life: "Different Strokes for Different Folks!"

Stormy and Kodi discuss "intentional" living. (suggested song: "The Other Side" - Sza ft. Justin Timberlake)

Your goodie for the day. Thank you for listening. :) 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the goodie shop for your mental health. My name is Cody. My name is Stormy. And we are glad that you're with us. So today we're going to talk about living your best life. Different strokes for different folks. Okay. So, Stormy Girl, we're going to talk about this. How do we live our best life in the culture that we're in right now? There's so much going on. There's so many things taking our attention. And it can be very overwhelming. So even in the midst of the chaos we may see, not even just within around us personally, but even within the atmosphere that we're in, how do we live our best life? What are what is it that we do?

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Yeah, I mean, that's such a big topic, you know, when we talk about mental health and we talk about, you know, do having to do all the things, all the responsibilities and the things that we know that we have to do in order to, you know, keep our feet on the ground and have a place to live and have a transportation of some sort. Or, you know, there's there's so many things that it's just overpowers us sometimes that we almost forget, like, wait a minute, like I can actually enjoy some of this life. And that's what and it's like we get so caught up in just doing all the things that we need to do that we forget about doing, you know, just the things that we want to do. And I know we've we've talked about that in some aspects aspects on other podcasts, but it it really is important, like you were mentioning, like today, in this day and age of what is going on in the world. It really is important to take care of ourselves and to really make intentional connections and make our life meaningful in that regard, whatever that means to you. So, I mean, just talking about just the two of us, you know, those things are can be different for each person. That's right. That's what kind of life is about is finding things that help us have meaning, you know, help us feel meaningful, you know, whether that's people, places, things, things like that, that just we have a connection with and we want to keep strengthening that relationship.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

That's good. Yeah, because it is it's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of things and not being able to see the the big picture of like you say, what is the meaning in my life? What is it what brings me what brings me joy? I guess you could say it in that sense, even in the midst of all, you know, the noise that's going on around me. Um that's that's a long point. And how do we, how do we get to that place? How do we even start to even be like, okay, I know at this moment in my life right now, like it has been like, I seem like I don't have time to sleep, I don't have the time to do this, yada yada yada. How do I even start to get to that point of saying, you know what? How do I know I'm living my best life? Where can we start with with doing that? I I had an idea, but I wanted to hear from you too, Storm. We could both just kind of chop it up and kind of break this down because it's like, man, you know, we see it on Instagram, Facebook, and everybody's like, yeah, living your best life. And, you know, you only live once, blah, blah, blah. But it's like, what does that actually mean? Like, how do you even begin to start doing that and implementing that quote unquote living your best life?

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Yeah, I mean, I think it's important to like look at it as like almost like a puzzle piece, you know, like our best life would be if all the puzzles were fit together and the picture would be there in front of us and everything would look as it should, or as we want it to look. And I think sometimes it starts with like just just starting at one point, like is it sleep? Is it eating? Is it social aspect? Is it intimacy? Is it career? Like pinpointing one aspect, I think would be important because again, we can get overwhelmed with thinking of all the things that we want to work on or get better at or from our life, things like that. So it can be challenging in that regard, but I think it's goes back to like there's no right or wrong answer. It's just that you start somewhere, and whatever that looks like to you, it's gonna make a difference, you know. Like if you wanted to start with your health, if you wanted to start with exercise, if you wanted to start with eating breakfast in the morning, you know what I mean? It's like start small so that it's more realistic to accomplish. So I think that's another part of it too, you know, just kind of piggybacking off of what you said, Cody, when you mentioned, you know, that sometimes we feel like we don't have enough time to sleep, we don't have time to eat, we don't have time to do all the things that we even need to do in the first place. So it's going back to like just just one thing at a time, one day at a time, some one minute at a time. Yeah. So we can look at it like, yes, this is the broad picture of what in theory I want my life to be to look like or to feel like when I think about living my best life. But we have to remember again that it's not just gonna, you know, appear. We're not just gonna wake up one day and be like, okay, my life is great, my life is perfect. Yeah, right. It we have to work on that every day, and we have to be willing to, you know, willing to do that to work on it every day and know that it's a work in progress, and it's not we're not gonna ever be at a standstill and be like, okay, there's nothing else that I need to do. It's getting to that point of no, this I'm being intentional by that's right, eating breakfast every day. Like that for me has been something that the last couple of years I I have really done. And now, like, if it's nine o'clock and I haven't eaten, like I feel sick, you know, looks like I have trained, or at least I feel like that. I have trained my body to be like, no, you need food at in the morning. Because before I and I've said this before, I would just drink coffee and then I wouldn't eat until like 12 or 1 o'clock. And I know that's horrible. Well, to me, to me, I will say that it wasn't good for me to do that. And so eating breakfast in the morning before I have coffee, you know, little things like that can make a difference along the way. And then it doesn't feel like it doesn't feel like work, you know what I mean? Like sometimes we think, okay, well, we have to change all of these things in our life to feel like we're living our best life. And it's like, well, no, like you can start with doing something and then it just becomes part of your routine, and then it's not, oh my gosh, now I have to fix myself breakfast in the morning. Like, no, I look forward to that because I'm hungry and I want to eat.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

Yes, absolutely. Yes, I love that. And I think the big the the key that you said that you shared was stormy, was that intentionality, you know, and being intentional about what it is that I want to focus on at this moment, you know, in that consistency, because that's pretty much what you described, which I think is is awesome. Because, you know, like I said, you're you're doing it, you're being intentional, you're getting up, you're eating, you know, all of those things. And I think that's the thing that we need to recognize is that what is it in my life? Because like you said, you can't change everything. It's like, what's the one thing in my life that I want to focus on and that I want to be consistent about changing? Or, you know, just tweaking differently. Like for me, my health, my health has been my biggest thing, you know, ever since I had a total hysterectomy years ago, it has been like, oh my gosh, my body's like, what is going on? You know, so being intentional about what are the things that I need to do to take care of my health, you know, because I know diabetes runs on my father's side of the family. So it's like, so being aware, having that awareness of what you're dealing with and saying, okay, what is the one thing that I can do now? I could drink more water. You know, instead of just having that, you know, one 28, you know, ounces of water, maybe I can have two of those a day. You know, it's those simple things. Or it might be for someone else. It might be, you know, I want to be intentional about, you know, loving myself. When I say loving myself, you know, just like forgiving yourself for maybe what has happened in your life. Starting with that small thing, forgive yourself and say, hey, I am worthy. You know, I'm, you know, I'm worthy to do X, Y, Z, you know, and just taking those steps and doing that. So I love that you say that because it is different. And I like that we say different strokes for different folks because it is different. You know, our our perception is different, our, you know, our our view of the world is different. So really being able to determine what is it that I need right now to help me to live my best life. Because it's it's a compilation, it's a combination of things. It's not just one thing. It's like, you know, I want to be able to be flexible. And we're, and I love that you said this, Dormy, that as long as we're on this earth, we're forever learning. We never like officially like arrive. I've got it, da-da-da. You know, everything is perfect. It's never going to be like that. And that's okay. And I think that's the I like that's like the exciting exciting part for me is that we're always evolving. You know, yes, as we age, you know, we're getting older, you know, and all those different things, but we're also evolving at the same time. Our mindsets are changing and the way we view things, even our, you know, our like things that we enjoy, that we eat, you know, that's even changing. So it's like everything is changing, but yet it gives us the permission to evolve. Does that make sense? I don't know if I'm I don't want to go too deep, but I I think sometimes we put ourselves in a box and we're like, because society kind of tells us you need to be like this, be like that. And we've talked about, like you said, Stormy in other podcasts. It's like, you know, we have everything shouting at us, like, do this, don't do that, and have this and don't have that, and all this stuff. It's like sometimes we just gotta just quiet the noise and be like, what is it that Cody needs? What is it that Stormy needs right now in this moment to live their best life? And if that means taking care of my kids, you know, making sure that they have what they need or whatever that looks like. But the beautiful part is being intentional about it and knowing that this is something that you want. And you don't have to do it. This is something that I desire to do.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

So yeah, and when we talk about that, it's it's definitely like trying to implement it into your schedule, right? And that's usually the hardest part. I don't have time. I don't have that's like the biggest whatever that word is that I'm looking for, like the biggest naysayer is like, I don't have time. It's like, well, sometimes that means we have to look at our schedule a little differently and you know, make that decision on do we want to get up a little earlier? Do we want to cut our lunch a little shorter? Do we want to go to bed a little later? Like, what is it that we're really looking at? You know, if I'm wanting to implement something that's gonna maybe take 20 minutes, right? That's not impossible to do. You know what I mean? It's just our go-to is like, well, I can't do that because I don't have time. You make the time. And I'm and uh by no means saying that that's easy. I I like I just said, I mean, it it's hard because it does change things, it changes our schedule. But at the same time, that's the whole point of what we're trying to implement is to change our schedule, is to change our day-to-day things that we do, you know, to again be intentional with our time. Right. And that means being aware of what you need to do for that day. And then looking at, okay, well, what's realistic for me to get completed today? Yeah. Without without what's the word, without risking yourself, you know, without what limiting the things that you need to be okay, you know, because we tend to put a lot of needs above our own, you know, whether it's a partner, whether that's family, whether that's kids, you know, what whatever it is, and it's reminding ourselves that you know we have to take care of ourselves too. If we need to do something for somebody else, then maybe we can switch the time that we do that. You know, maybe we can say, hey, you know what? I know you need help with this. I I'm gonna do it at this time today. You know, like tweak it to where you're still doing the things that you need to do, but you're also nourishing yourself too, and and making those boundaries, I guess, for lack of a better boundaries with people and boundaries with other with yourself too. You know, again, if you're like, okay, well, I need I need this, somebody needs this, I need to do this for them. It's like, well, that can wait. That can wait 10 minutes. You know, they're not gonna nothing bad is in 10 minutes. Like, if they really want us to do something for them, then they have to understand that we're not at their beck and call. We're at our becking call. So serve yourself first before you serve somebody else. Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Yeah, making what you're saying is ensuring that you had the capacity to help someone.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

Right. Because if you don't take care of you, you don't have the energy or wherewithal to take care of somebody else.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Right. That is so true. And sometimes, you know what, we might even have to get to the point where we toss us our our schedule period and just rearrange everything, you know, because maybe we've been doing yeah, and that's and that's if that's what we need to do, then we need to do it. Exactly. And I think that's the thing. When we have the permission to do so, because sometimes we feel like, you know, I have to do it this way. And, you know, I've always done it like this. Not necessarily. You can, like you said, you can tweak some areas, you can change it up, you know, move around a little, you know, and we just flexible. I know. And it's and it's so crazy because, you know, you see all these ads and all these things, like, you know, find, you know, there's seven ways that you can, you know, fulfill your whole whole day and you know, make sure you do this and how you do. And it's just like sometimes for some of us, not for all of us, for some of us, some of us, we just need to pause and just learn how to just be still and just reflect on just the beauty of what's around it. Sometimes, you know, so whatever it is that we need to do, Stormy, to take care of ourselves. I mean, I think that's at the end of the day, it's about intentionality, being intentional about what it is that I need right now and what is it that I need to to tweak or change or shift or, you know, and like you said, Stormy, making space for that time. Because nobody's gonna do it for us. It's not gonna, osmosis is not gonna happen, you know, nothing like that is gonna happen. We are gonna have to, you know, take the time to do that and recognize that we are worth it, right? And that we're worth the investment because we are. I don't care who you are, I don't care what color you are, I don't care what creed you are, how old, how young. We all have significance, and it's important for us to recognize that and say, okay, I know who I am, you know, and I'm or I'm learning who I am, or um, you know, these are the things that I want to do to make to be a better who I am. You know what I mean? That makes sense. It's like this, yeah, don't it's like I don't want us to get to the point to where we complicate life because life is already complicated. It really is. There's so many different aspects and all these different things you need to do, and you know, things you need to take care of. And sometimes we just we just need to pause, right? And just be like, what is it that Stormy needs? Or like, what is it that Cody needs? And and just and just be more, I guess I can also say awareness too. I think that's a big factor for us too, when it comes to living our best life and being aware of what it is that we need. Because Stormy, you said something key you were talking about because we do, we have a tendency, and we all do, because we're relational beings. We are even those that want to be by themselves, look, we're all relational. That's how we were created, right? But then sometimes we do, we get to the point to where we do put others before us so much, to the point where we get so depleted, and we're just like, when it's time for us to pour back into ourselves, we have nothing. And so it's like, you know, and that could be that's that's very challenging, you know, and you're just trying to just trying to make things happen, but we gotta remember that living our best life is about taking care of you.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

Taking care of you.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

And and it's also I think important to to think about like specifically what what does that mean to us, and in the sense of now, I don't mean that if I'm gonna be living my best life, that means every single day I have to do all of the things that I want to do for myself. Exactly. So that is not realistic. If it's if it's one thing, if it's one moment I can do for myself, that's still progress, that's still worth it. You know, like I talk a lot about iced coffee, you know this, but if the one thing that I have for that day is to get myself to go buy an iced coffee, then that's what I'm gonna do and I'm gonna enjoy it. It doesn't mean that the rest of my day is gonna just be fantastically amazing, right? It's moments, moments that add up, it's moments to build up and to give us those kind of what you said, Cody, those pauses, those step away, those, you know, breathers to where it's like, okay, I'm gonna sit my coffee and I'm gonna enjoy it for this moment so that then I can be refueled to do the next thing. You know, so it's important that we look at it like that, and it's not like we're saying, oh, live your best life and let's go to a beach vacation and write the island every day, you know. That's not realistic, but it's it's again, it's the small things that we can do. For some people, honestly, it's taking a hot shower, yeah, maybe five minutes longer than normal. You know, I mean it it's it's really simple things that we can implement, it's not always about thinking that you're gonna win the lottery or right. That would be nice though, but no, yeah, but you know what I mean. It's like sometimes we kind of fantasize living our best life. And it's like, okay, well, if I had a million dollars, sure, a lot of things would be easier, but the reality is not that. So am I gonna limit myself to only thinking my life would be better if I had a million dollars? Or am I gonna start with what do I have now? Right. What's one thing I can do now that does make me happy? You know, again, even if it's for five minutes, that's still worthy of my time. That's still being intentional with my time. If I need to go turn on the radio and put or put on a yes, I'm gonna say a CD of you know, Gandora. I guess maybe like Pandora or something more more up in the world. But you know, sometimes I want to listen to a specific song that yes, you know what, I'm gonna get my CD out. But anyways, yes, listening to your favorite song for five minutes, like things like that that again are. Not hosting anything, but they just help for me at least. Those are some things that rejuvenate me in the midst of all the chaos and the craziness of the world. It's it that's the way I look at being intentional, taking five or ten minutes every couple of hours to just do something that takes me out of the current stressors or my current thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

Whatever that may be. I love no, that is so on point. I love that. It is, and I like that you said that what does that mean to me? Just yeah, it's it's now. It's not like you said, it'd be nice if we had a million dollars, but no, that's that's not, you know, that may not happen. But if it does, I'll be happy to, I'll receive, you know. But no, it, but it's so true. It's just just it's just really about just how to make that space for yourself, you know, and just like I said, being intentional. And like I said, we're not saying that you're gonna have a perfect life. No, we're not saying that. The thing is, is that I think it's just just coming back down to just coming, I mean, about us. It's just about us taking care of ourselves. Because we do, we don't do that enough. I feel like, you know, even myself, I'm telling on myself, you know, it's like think about everything else, but instead of like, what is what is it that Cody likes to enjoy? What do I like to enjoy? You know, like that's funny you were talking about music. Like, even this morning when I woke up, I listened to like this this this album back from like the 90s, and it was just like the alternative rock, you know. I was just but it was a great moment because I was just like, man, Sonic Flood haven't heard them in a forever. Let me turn them on right quick, you know. And people are like, who is that exactly? I know, but anyway, I'm dating myself. But that's okay. I I love who I am. No, but no, but doing those things, it um it makes all the difference. It really, really does. So living living your best life is really just about just being intentional about living, you know, not just going with the flow, not just like, uh, you know, but it's just just thinking about you and some things that you need. And like you said, iced coffee. Or it could be taking a walk. It could be, you know, maybe pause like sitting in your car for 10 minutes before you go inside work, you know, just having those pauses. I mean, that's really what we mean when we're talking about living your best life, is just being intentional about what it is that you need for you right now in this moment. And just reflecting on that. Because sometimes, sometimes we may not even know, and that's okay too. Yeah. That like don't don't feel pressured that, oh, I gotta find out what I need to change. What no, no pressure, no pressure at all. It's just about, you know, as I'm living through this life on this earth, what is it that I need, you know, to make my to make my day a little brighter.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

Just a little thing.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

And again, small, small things matter. You know, you gotta do laundry or you're gonna make dinner, put some music on. You know, you gotta clean and you're not looking forward to it, light a candle and put some music on. The windows if it's nice outside, you know, little things matter. I think that for me, that's a big takeaway. Yeah, it is. Little things matter. So all all of those moments that you have during the day that are just for you, use them to your advantage. Don't let them just fly by, right to your advantage and be intentional. I'm gonna light this candle for 10 minutes, you know. If I'm gonna if I'm gonna blow it out after that, then that 10 minutes is still worthy of it. So don't don't look at the things as time constraint, you know, to to deter you. Go ahead and do it.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Yes, and you have time. And you have time. You do, you do just don't like don't pressure yourself either. I think that's another thing. We put so much pressure on ourselves because we're we have a, and I'm not saying we all do this, but society has a setup to where we have a tendency of comparing ourselves to others. You know what I mean? Like, it's like if you don't have this, and like, oh, you know, like you said, like going on vacation and stuff. Sometimes, look, maybe that's not what I need right now. I hate going to the beach, you know, whatever it is for you. But and try and not getting to the point to where you find yourself comparing yourself to others because we got to remember, we all have been through stuff, we don't know each other's situations. So don't don't try to be in competition with others. You know, don't throw that out the window. It's not even about that. It is about what is it that you need. And like you said, those little things, those little things add up. They really, really do. And take the time to find out what those things are that you need, you know, even if it's just one thing a week or something, you know, but just no pressure, just take care of you. That's all we're telling y'all. We just want you all out there to take care of yourself, and we do want you to live your best life because you are worth it, and you're amazing. If you nobody told you that today, we're telling you that today. You are amazing. So, Stormy, any any last words? Because I think your takeaway was on point.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

Yeah, I mean, uh, just just piggybacking off of that, you know. We we do have the expectations sometimes that we place on ourselves that make us feel like we don't have time and just just reiterating it bears repeating. Just just make the time for yourself because why not? I mean, that's the other point. Like, why not do something that's just for us? If it's if you have to be late to something, if you have to cancel plans with somebody, if you have whatever it is, don't be afraid to put yourself first because people that really know you and you have that relationship with, they're not gonna get offended. And so that's another part of it, you know. Like, don't be afraid to put yourself and your needs first. That's really it. I mean, there's more things, you know.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

And if they get offended, then uh evidently they weren't your friend in the first place, right? Or you need might need to, you know, kind of check out that friendship. Like, is this a two-way street or is it just me, give, give, give, and they take, take, take.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

So that's another sure, you know. I mean, if again, if somebody needs help, you can say, Well, I have this amount of time, so I can I can come over and help with for from this time to this time. You know, anything is better. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

I'm with you on that. So I hope this episode was so beneficial for you. And just remember, you are worth it, you are worth the investment. So take time for yourself, all right. We will talk to you soon.