Flourishing After Adversity

S2:E6 Identities Change, Values Stay (How to Stay Grounded Through Life Shifts)

• Laura Broome

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S2:E6 Identities Change, Values Stay (How to Stay Grounded Through Life Shifts)

In this episode of the Flourishing After Adversity podcast, host Laura Mangum Broome discusses the disorienting feeling of not recognizing yourself during life transitions. Laura offers insight into how identity is linked to the roles we play and provides practical strategies to help regain a sense of self. She introduces three anchors—core values, strengths, and passions—that can guide listeners in rebuilding their identity after setbacks. 

Laura also shares personal experiences and emphasizes the importance of taking small, actionable steps and seeking support. Listeners are encouraged to download a free resource, 'Reframe the Spiral,' for additional coping strategies.

00:00 Introduction: Recognizing Change in Your Life
00:20 Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity Podcast
01:06 Understanding Identity Shifts
02:00 Personal Story: Laura's Journey Through Identity Changes
02:50 Rebuilding Yourself: Core Values, Strengths, and Passions
03:48 Anchor One: Core Values
04:41 Anchor Two: Strengths
05:25 Anchor Three: Passions
06:15 Practical Steps to Rebuild Your Identity
07:54 Recap and Final Encouragement
08:44 Conclusion: Flourishing After Adversity

S2:E6 Identities Change, Values Stay (How to Stay Grounded Through Life Shifts)

 Introduction: Recognizing Change in Your Life

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, I don't recognize myself in this season?  Not because you've done anything wrong, but because something changed maybe suddenly. Maybe slowly, and now the roles you've carried don't fit the same way.  Today's episode is for you.

Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity Podcast

Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity podcast.

I'm your host, Laura Mangum Broome. If you've been knocked down by life, grief, illness loss, or unexpected change, you're in the right place. Here we turn setbacks into stepping stones because healing, growth, and joy are not out of reach, they're available to you even in this season.   

Before we begin, if you ever felt overwhelmed by negative thoughts after a setback-- caught in loops of worry, self-doubt, or mental exhaustion-- I created a free resource for you called Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day. You'll find the link in the show notes. 

Understanding Identity Shifts

Let's name what's really happening when you feel disoriented after a life change. Most of the time it's not just that your schedule changed, it's that your story changed. When we talk about identity, we often mean the roles we play.

Spouse, parent, caregiver, employee, leader, volunteer, survivor. Roles give structure to our days. They shape our relationships, they influence how we introduce ourselves. So when a role changes, especially when it changes unexpectedly, it can feel like the ground under you shifts too. And that can lead to questions like, who am I now?

What am I supposed to do with my life? Where do I fit?  If that's you, I want you to hear this clearly. That question is a clue you're adjusting, not falling apart. It's a sign you're growing. 

Personal Story: Laura's Journey Through Identity Changes

I want to share this from my own life because I know what it's like to have your identity shift. Over the years, my identity has changed more times than I ever expected.

I've been a daughter and a sister, a wife and stepmother, a mother and a homeschool mom, an employee, and a business owner, a bereaved parent, a breast cancer and heart transplant survivor, a divorcee.   A volunteer, advocate and mentor, and now a grandmother. Some of those roles came with joy, some came with deep loss.

All of them changed how I moved through the world, and here's what I've learned.  When your roles shift, you don't have to lose yourself. You can return to what's always been true at your core. 

Rebuilding Yourself: Core Values, Strengths, and Passions

Let's talk about the difference between losing yourself and rebuilding yourself. Losing yourself. Sounds like I don't know who I am anymore. Nothing fits.  I feel behind. I don't trust myself.

Rebuilding yourself sounds like  I'm in a new season and I'm learning what matters now. I can adapt without abandoning myself. I can take one step at a time.  Rebuilding doesn't mean pretending the change didn't hurt. It means you choose to stay connected to your core while you adjust to the new reality.

And that's where today's reset comes in.  I want to give you a reset that's practical and doable. Three anchors you can return to when your identity feels shaky:  Core Values (what matters most),  Strengths  (how you're built),  Passions (what gives meaning and pulls you forward). 

Anchor One: Core Values

Anchor number one, your core values.  Your values are the why underneath your choices. They help you decide what matters now, what matters next, and what you refuse to compromise.  Try these prompts.   What do I want my life to stand for in this season?  When do I feel most at peace with myself?  What do I refuse to compromise even when life is hard?

Values can be simple. Examples are integrity, compassion, courage, family growth, service, honesty, health, freedom and simplicity.  And here's an important note.  Your values can stay consistent even when the way you live them changes.

Anchor Two: Strengths

Anchor number two, strengths.  Strengths aren't just what you're good at, they're what you naturally draw on when things get real. If you've been through adversity, you have strengths, even if you don't feel strong. Try these prompts. What do people thank me for?  What has helped me survive and keep going. When I'm at my best, what qualities show up? 

Strengths can look like perseverance, empathy, leadership, creativity, problem solving, humor, wisdom, steadiness, advocacy.  Strength isn't always loud. Sometimes strength is simply continuing. 

Anchor Three: Passions

Anchor number three, passions. Passions aren't just hobbies. They're the threads of meaning you keep coming back to. They can guide you, especially after adversity when you're trying to build a life that feels genuine.   Try these prompts.  What do I care about so much? I'll keep showing up for it.  What topics do I keep coming back to?  What kind of impact do I want to make from what I've lived through? 

Passions can include mentoring, creating, learning, helping others heal, building  community, writing,  teaching, advocating.  And if your passions feel hard to access right now, that doesn't mean they're gone. It may just mean you've been in survival mode.

Practical Steps to Rebuild Your Identity

You can start small. 

Once you've identified your values, strengths, and passions, ask two practical questions.  What is one small choice I can make this week that matches what I just named  and what support do I need to follow through?

Support can look like a friend who won't judge, a counselor, coach or doctor, a support group, someone who will text, "Did you take that next step?"  You were never meant to do hard things alone. 

If your brain argues with you, if it says, this is silly, I should already know this. This won't change anything. You don't have to fight that voice. You can answer it. Try responses like.  Maybe, but I'm gonna test one small step.  I don't need a perfect plan, I need clarity. I can do this for 10 minutes or five minutes.  I'm not deciding my whole future, today. I'm choosing the next step.  This is how you stop letting fear, write the ending. 

Try this exercise today.  Grab a notebook or open your notes app and finish these three lines.  Number one, my top three values right now are...  Number two. One strength I'm relying on in this season is...  Number three.  One passion I want to make room for again is...  Then ask, what's one small choice I can make this week that matches those answers? 


Recap and Final Encouragement

Let's recap what we learned.  Identity shifts feel unsettling because roles shape our story.  You can rebuild without abandoning yourself. The reset is three anchors, values, strengths, and passions.   Ask, what's one small choice this week, and what support do I need?  When your brain argues, answer it with one small test or experiment. 

If you're in a season where your identity feels like it's shifting, I want you to hear this. You don't have to figure it out all at once. You don't have to have the perfect plan. You just have to stay connected to what's true. Your roles may change, but you can stay grounded.

You're right where you need to be. Growth happens one step at a time. 

Conclusion: Flourishing After Adversity

Thank you for listening to the Flourishing After Adversity Podcast. If this episode helped you, please share it with three friends in need of hope. Leave a review or connect with me online at iCope2Hope.com. The link is in the show notes.

And don't forget to download your free guide Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day. The link is also in the show notes as well as other free resources. 

Until next time, remember: adversity can make you bitter or better. Choose better! You've got this!