Flourishing After Adversity

S2:E10 Your Misogi Moment: Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Strength

• Laura Broome

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0:00 | 10:30

Misogi: Choosing a 50/50 Challenge to Grow After Adversity

Host Laura Mangum Broome invites listeners of the Flourishing After Adversity podcast to consider a “misogi,” a deliberately chosen challenge that reveals latent potential, inspired by The Comfort Crisis. She contrasts misogi with adversity and ordinary goals, sharing her own chosen challenge of climbing Enchanted Rock on the third anniversary of her heart transplant, and explains Elliot’s guidelines: it must be really challenging, you “can’t die,” and it should carry about a 50% chance of success. 

She discusses research suggesting meaningful discomfort and “optimal stress” can build resilience, self-esteem, and belonging. Broome offers three steps—choose a personal 50/50 challenge, create a safety plan plus a fail-forward plan, and commit to an identity shift—and three tips: try a 7-day micro-misogi, recruit accountability, and track proof and learning rather than perfection.

00:00 Surprising Yourself
00:21 Welcome and Free Resource
01:14 What Is a Misogi
01:51 Laura’s Misogi Story
02:33 Misogi Rules and 50 50
03:54 Discomfort as Medicine
05:25 Three Steps to Choose Yours
05:56 Safety and Fail Forward
07:30 Identity Shift Commitment
08:07 Three Prep Tips
09:00 Recap and Next Steps
10:13 Closing Encouragement



Have you ever surprised yourself, really surprised yourself by doing something hard? Maybe it was physical, maybe it was emotional. Maybe it was simply showing up on a day you wanted to quit. If you've ever had that moment where you thought, wait. I can do more than I believed. Today's episode is for you.

Welcome and Free Resource

Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity podcast. I'm your host, Laura Mangum Broome. If you've been knocked down by life, grief, illness loss, or unexpected change, you're in the right place. Here we turn setbacks into stepping stones because healing, growth, and joy are not out of reach.  📍 They're available to you even in this season.  

Before we begin,  if you ever felt overwhelmed by negative thoughts after a setback caught in loops of worry, self-doubt, or mental exhaustion, I created a free resource for you called Reframe the Spiral, 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day. These are the same coping strategies I use when I'm facing unexpected obstacles.

You'll find the link in the show notes.

What Is a Misogi

I've been reading the book, "The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self." And there's one concept that's been sticking with me: misogi. 

A misogi is a challenge that can show you you have latent potential you didn't even realize. It can show you you can go further than you ever believed. And I love that because adversity already forces us into hard places. But a misogi is different. A misogi is a hard thing you choose, on purpose, so you can grow on purpose.

Laura’s Misogi Story

This idea immediately took me back to a moment in my own story. I climbed Enchanted Rock to celebrate the third anniversary of my heart transplant. It wasn't about proving anything to anyone. It was about stepping into a challenge big enough to wake something up inside of me.  Because when you've lived through illness, loss, or major life change, it's easy to start shrinking.

Not because you're weak, but because you're tired. Because you've been through a lot. But sometimes the way forward isn't more comfort. Sometimes the way forward is a meaningful challenge that reminds you, I'm still here. I'm still capable. And I'm still becoming.

Misogi Rules and 50 50

So what is a misogi?  In the book, the author shares his friend Elliot's model of misogi.  Elliot says there are only two rules. It has to be really, really challenging and you can't die.  Okay, he's joking, but it's still true.  And he's generally guided by this idea. You should have about a 50% chance of success, if you do everything right.  That's what makes it different from a normal goal.

Elliot gives an example.  If you want to run a 25 mile trail run, and you're already training up to 20 miles and running 35 to 40 miles a week, that's not a misogi. Your chance of failure is too low.  But if you've never run more than 10 miles, you think you could probably run 15, and you're genuinely unsure whether you could run 20, then that 25 mile run might be a misogi.

And here's the key.  A misogi is a moving target. One person's 50% is not the same as another person's. If someone has never run more than a couple of miles, a 10K could absolutely be their misogi.  This is not about comparison. This is about growth.

Discomfort as Medicine

Why discomfort can be medicine. Modern life is designed to reduce discomfort, and I get it.  We've all lived through enough, but here's what's interesting. New research suggests that depression, anxiety, and feeling like you don't belong can be linked to being unchallenged. Sometimes what you're missing isn't more ease.  It's a meaningful, stretching kind of difficulty.

A misogi is one version of what Joseph Campbell called the Hero's Journey.   You've seen this in every movie you watch.  The hero leaves the comfort of home.  He's hit with a challenge.  It tests his physical, psychological, and spiritual fortitude. He struggles and finds a way through. He returns with new skills, confidence, and a clearer sense of his place in the world.

And research shows that everyday people benefit from epic physical trials.  Leaving the modern, sterile world and exposing ourselves to new stressors can help us develop toughness. Confronting risk, fear or danger produces optimal stress, and that kind of discomfort can lead to improved self-esteem, character building, and psychological resilience. If you've been feeling restless, stuck, or something inside you once more, that desire to test yourself might be a sign you're craving a different kind of aliveness. 

Three Steps to Choose Yours

I wanna make this practical. Here are three steps you can take to choose and act on your own misogi.

Step one, choose a challenge that's 50 50 for you.  Ask yourself, what would stretch me enough that failure is a real possibility?  What feels exciting and scary?  What would I be proud of attempting even if I don't nail it?  Keep it personal. Again, this is not about comparison. It's about growth. 

Safety and Fail Forward

Step two,  build a can't die safety plan and a fail forward plan. Misogi  is about discomfort, not recklessness. So yes, put real guardrails in place. Get medical clearance if needed.   Train and prepare responsibly. Tell someone your plan. Set boundaries that keep you safe.  But here's the other side of can't die that matters just as much.

Your misogi is designed to stretch you, which means you're likely to fail, especially at first. That's not defeat, that's data. A misogi isn't a win-lose moment. It's a fail forward process where every attempt builds knowledge, like what works, what doesn't, wisdom, what you need and what you can adjust, and confidence because you kept showing up.

If your misogi is easy enough to succeed the first time, you probably didn't learn much. You didn't have to adapt and you didn't have to grow. So when you plan, include this on purpose, decide what success looks like besides the finish line, for example, effort, consistency, courage.

Choose one question you'll ask after each attempt, what did I learn that I didn't know before?  And make room for iteration. Try, reflect, adjust, and try again. Growth usually looks like attempts, not perfection. 

Identity Shift Commitment

Step three, commit to the identity shift, not just the outcome.  Before you start, write one sentence. I am becoming the kind of person who. Fill in the blank,  then choose one small action this week that supports that identity. Schedule the hike. Sign up for the class. Do the first training session, and ask for accountability. Because here's what I've learned. When you put yourself in a challenging environment where you have a good chance of failing, a lot of fears fade, and things start moving.

Three Prep Tips

Here are three tips to prepare you for your misogi.  Tip One: Try a micro-misogi first. Choose a seven day discomfort challenge: a cold finish to your shower, a daily hill walk, tech-free evening.  This will build your tolerance for harder things.  Tip two, borrow courage with a buddy.  Tell one trusted person what you're attempting and ask them to check in once a week. Accountability makes discomfort feel safer.  Tip number three, track proof, not perfection. Keep a simple bravery log. Write the date, what you did, and what you learned so you can see growth even when the outcome isn't in a win.  You're right where you need to be. Growth happens one step at a time. 

Recap and Next Steps

Let's recap what we covered today. A misogi is a challenge that reveals latent potential you didn't know you had  Elliot's two rules: it must be really, really challenging and you can't die.   The 50 50 idea helps you choose something that will actually stretch you.  Discomfort can be medicine. Optimal stress can build resilience.  The reset, choose your 50 50, build a safety plan and a fail forward plan, and commit to the identity shift.  And you have three tips to prepare you for your misogi today. 

If this episode helped you, I'd love for you to do three things. Share it with a friend who needs hope.  Leave a rating and review. It helps more people find the show.  And download my free guide: Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim your Day. The link is in the show notes. 

And if you want to message me at iCope2Hope.com  and tell me what your misogi might be, I would truly love to hear it. 

Closing Encouragement

You're right where you need to be. Growth happens one step at a time. Thank you for listening to the Flourishing After Adversity podcast. Until next time, remember, adversity can make you bitter or better.

Choose better! You've got this!