Flourishing After Adversity

S2:E14 Can Two Truths Exist at Once? (How to Hold Sorrow and Joy at the Same Time)

• Laura Broome

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0:00 | 6:43

Holding Two Truths: How to Process Mixed Emotions After Adversity

Host Laura Mangum Broome welcomes listeners to the Flourishing After Adversity Podcast and shares a free guide, “Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day.” Using her father’s memorial service as an example, she explains that human emotions are often layered—sorrow and joy, dread and relief can coexist—and mixed emotions don’t mean something is wrong or that healing is failing. 

Laura offers three steps to process two emotional truths: notice what’s coming up, name both truths honestly (e.g., “I feel relief and I also feel sadness”), and make room for both without rushing to fix it through practices like journaling, prayer, walking, or talking with someone safe. Reminders include using “and” instead of “but,” avoiding guilt when joy appears, and accepting both feelings as valid.

00:00 Why Mixed Emotions Happen
00:20 Welcome and Free Guide
01:05 A Memorial Service Story
01:33 Two Truths Can Coexist
02:31 Step One Notice Feelings
03:14 Step Two Name Both Truths
03:47 Step Three Make Room
04:24 Three Reminders This Week
04:52 Reflection and Action Step
05:21 Recap and Final Encouragement


Schedule a free 15-minute Clarity Call with Laura: https://bit.ly/15mincallLMB

Why Mixed Emotions Happen

Have you ever felt more than one strong emotion at a time? Maybe you felt relief and sadness after making a hard decision. Maybe you wondered if something was wrong with you because your emotions didn't fit into one neat category. If that's you, stay tuned to today's episode. 

Welcome and Free Guide

Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity Podcast. I'm your host, Laura Mangum Broome. If you've been knocked down by life, grief, illness loss, or unexpected change, you're in the right place. Here we turn setbacks into stepping stones because healing, growth and joy are not out of reach.  

Before we begin, if you've ever felt overwhelmed by negative thoughts after a setback, download my free guide: Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day. These are the same coping  strategies I use when life gets overwhelming. You'll find the link in the show notes. 

A Memorial Service Story

When I attended my father's memorial service, my heart held more than one truth.  I was grieving his loss and I was also filled with joy listening to the stories and memories people shared about him. It was painful and it was beautiful. I missed him deeply and I was grateful for the life he lived and the love people remembered. 

That experience reminded me of something important. 

Two Truths Can Coexist

Human emotions are often layered. We often think we should feel one clear emotion at a time, but real life doesn't work that way, especially after adversity. Sometimes sorrow and joy sit side by side. Sometimes dread and relief do too.

When you expect yourself to feel only one thing, you can start judging your own emotional experience. You may think, why am I relieved when I should feel sad? Why am I smiling when I'm still grieving? Why do I feel grateful and exhausted at the same time?  But mixed emotions don't mean you're confused, weak, or doing healing wrong. They often mean you're processing something real. And when you make space for two truths at once, you reduce shame, you build self-awareness, you stop fighting your emotional reality. That's where healing gets more honest. 

Step One Notice Feelings

Let me share three key steps to acknowledge and process two emotional truths. 

Step one, notice what's coming up. The first step is to pause and pay attention. Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now? What feels hard? What else feels true at the same time?  Mixed emotions can move quickly. If you don't slow down, you may miss what's really happening beneath the surface.  You might notice a knot in your stomach before a family gathering, even though part of you is looking forward to it.  You might feel relief after making a hard decision and still feel sad about what had to change. 

Step Two Name Both Truths

Step two, name both truths honestly.  Once you notice what is there, put words to it. Try saying, I feel relief and I also feel sadness. I'm grateful, and I'm also grieving. I'm hopeful, and I'm also tired.  That small shift matters.  When you name both truths, you stop arguing with yourself.  You stop trying to force one feeling to cancel out the other. Truth brings clarity. Clarity helps you move forward.

Step Three Make Room

And step three, make room for both without rushing to fix it.  You don't have to solve every feeling immediately. You don't have to force yourself to move on just because one part of you feels okay.   Making room for both might look like journaling without editing your writing. It might look like praying honestly. It might look like taking a walk, sitting quietly, or talking with someone safe.  It may also sound like this. I can be thankful and still feel sad.  That's not weakness. That's emotional honesty. 

Three Reminders This Week

Here are three simple reminders you can carry with you this week.  One, stop asking which feeling is the right one. Both may be valid.  Two, watch for guilt when joy shows up. Joy does not erase pain.  And three, use the word "and" instead of "but." Say, I'm sad and I'm grateful. That lets both truths stand. 

Reflection and Action Step

Here's your reflection in question for this week. What two emotions or truths have you been trying to separate, explain away, or judge, instead of simply acknowledging.

And here's your action step. The next time mixed emotions rise up, pause and complete the sentence:  I feel (name one emotion) and I also feel (name the other emotion).  Let that be enough for today.

Recap and Final Encouragement

Let's recap what we've covered so far. Human  emotions are often layered.  Sorrow and joy can exist at the same time.   Mixed emotions don't mean something is wrong with you.  The three steps to acknowledge and process your truths are one, notice what's coming up. Two, name both truths.  And three, make room for both.  Small language shifts like using "and" instead of "but" can help you process emotions with more honesty and less shame.

 Thank you for listening to the Flourishing After Adversity Podcast. If this episode encouraged you, please share it with three friends in need of hope.  And if you've not already, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, or visit iCope2Hope.com  for more resources, coaching, support, and encouragement. And don't forget to download your free guide: Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day. The link is in the show notes.  

You're right where you need to be. Growth happens one step at a time. Adversity can make you bitter or better. Choose better! You've got this!