Understanding God's Expectations: Letting Go of Guilt and Shame

In this episode of the Confidence in God podcast, host Julie McGhghy delves into the topic of feeling like you've disappointed God. Julie explores the concepts of guilt, shame, and God's expectations, reassuring you that you cannot disappoint God. Drawing from the Apostle Paul's experiences and teachings, she emphasizes that God's expectations are not about perfection but about believing in Jesus and loving one another. Julie encourages you to let go of unnecessary guilt and shame, reminding you of God's unconditional love and omniscience. For further reading, Julie references her book, 'Hey Dad, It's Me! Discover the Father Who Loves and Protects You,' available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Hey Dad 

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

01:08 Personal Struggles with Disappointment

03:11 Understanding Disappointment Through Apostle Paul

06:45 God's Expectations and Omniscience

09:26 Summary and Encouragement

11:26 Closing Remarks and Call to Action 

Transcript

0:00

Hello and welcome to the Confidence in God podcast. I am your host, Julie McGhghy, and our goal today is to help you walk with confidence in God. Have you ever felt like you've disappointed God? In today's episode, we're going to unpack the truth behind guilt, shame, and God's expectations, and why you can stop feeling like you're letting him down. But before we do, if you are a person who struggles with feeling like you often disappoint God, you may wish to read a bit more about this topic. I wrote about the things I'm going to share today in chapter three of, Hey Dad, It's Me! Discover the Father Who Loves and Protects You. You can find the book by going to amazon.com/heydad, or clicking the link in the show notes. We're going to look at a couple of times the Apostle Paul was disappointed in people and then apply what we learned to God to determine if he is ever disappointed in us. Before getting into the scriptures about the Apostle Paul's experiences with disappointment, I want to share a bit about how I came to learn this concept. Some time ago, I found myself apologizing to God quite often for having disappointed him. The most common things that would trigger these apologies involved my failure to do something that I knew was right to do and that I had committed to God that I would do. The commitment that would most often trip me up was my commitment to fast 40 hours in a single week once each month. When I failed to honor that commitment, usually because I let something at work interfere with it, then I would feel guilt and shame for disappointing God. If you have been a Christian for any length of time at all, you have been taught all of the things you should do, such as read the Bible and Pray daily, attend church regularly, incorporate fasting into your life and share your testimony with other people. But when it comes down to daily life, you find it difficult to do all these things and keep up with your responsibilities at work, at home, at school, and at church. Right now, you're likely thinking to yourself about those things that you try to do, but just can't fit into your day as often as you feel you should. Those are the things that cause you to feel guilt and shame and that you are disappointing God. But today I assure you that you are not. Can we really stop feeling this guilt and shame when we can't seem to get it all together as we are taught? Yes, and the way to do that is to understand that you do not and cannot disappoint God. Before looking at the Apostle Paul's examples, let's consider the definition of disappoint. In this context, it means to fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of. Synonyms include let down, fail, dishearten, depress, dispirit, upset, sadden. Do you feel like you let God down, fail him, cause him to be disheartened, depressed, dispirited, upset, saddened? Let's look at the Apostle Paul and see how he was disappointed by other people to determine why we cannot disappoint God. The first example of Paul's disappointment with certain people is found in Second Corinthians chapter two verses one through four, where we see that Paul had been disappointed by the people in the Church of Corinth. Paul explained to the church in Corinth why he would not be visiting the church again as he had originally planned. He changed his plans because he was heavy in heart knowing that he would have to rebuke the church again if he visited again. He chose not to distress the church by further rebuke, and instead he wrote his second letter to the church. This heaviness was a sadness resulting from those who Paul expected to cause him joy. Paul's expectations were not met by some of the Corinthian church members. Again, failure of expectations is a part of the definition of disappoint. Paul was disappointed and did not want to show that disappointment to the church, so he changed his plans and did not visit again as they were expecting. The second example is found in Galatians chapter one, verse six, where Paul states, I marvel that you are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel. Marvel means to be surprised and astonished. Paul is expressing surprise and disappointment that the Galatian Church was deserting their faith in the Gospel of Christ and moving toward other teachings. Surprise is a part of disappointment. When we don't expect someone to perform a certain way, we aren't surprised when they don't perform that way. Also, we aren't disappointed because we didn't expect it anyway. As an example, if I ask my husband to stop by the cleaners to pick up a jacket I would like to wear to church on Sunday, and he explains to me that he doesn't think he will be able to do so, when he doesn't pick it up, I'm not surprised and I'm not disappointed. However, if he told me he would pick it up, but he neglects to do it, then I'm surprised and I'm disappointed. We see in these two letters from the Apostle Paul that he was disappointed on at least two occasions. There are two elements to disappoint. The first is to fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of someone. And the second is to surprise. In these two elements, we learn why we don't disappoint God. Returning to my example of failing to meet my commitment to fasting, do I let God down when I allow something to interfere with my fasting week? First, God does not expect us to succeed with every good thing his word teaches us to do. He doesn't expect perfection from us. Expect means to regard something as likely to happen or someone as likely to do something. Does God expect me to fast? Does he expect me to pray a certain amount of time every day? Does he expect me to attend church every time the door is open? No. These are all excellent things to do, and we find great blessings in the act of doing them, not because we do them. We cannot earn blessings. Like grace, they are free gifts of God. But when we do them, we find ourselves feeling blessed. What does God expect of me and out of each of us? First John chapter three, verses 23 and 24 tells us that God expects Christians, and by that I mean those who are in relationship with God by having already received salvation, he expects Christians to believe on the name of Jesus and to love one another. That's it. He expects no more of us but to believe and love. And Psalm 1 0 3 verse 14 reminds us that God knows our frame and remembers that we are dust. He knows we are human. He does not expect us to be perfect and to read the Bible and pray an hour a day, fast three days a month and attend church every time the door is open. These are all good things for us to do, and we are blessed by doing them, but God does not expect it. The second element necessary for being disappointed is being surprised. God is omniscient, all knowing. We are reminded in Psalm chapter 1 39 verses one through four and also verses 15 and 16 of that same Psalm that he knows everything about us. If God knows each of us this intimately, he certainly is not surprised by anything we think, say, or do, or fail to do. God is not disappointed in you. He loves you and there is nothing you can do or fail to do that will change that. We've covered a lot in a short period of time. Let me quickly pull it all together in a summary. You can have confidence that God is not disappointed in you because as we learned from the Apostle Paul, disappointing someone requires both unmet expectation and surprise. God loves you no matter what you do or don't do. His love for you does not change when you succeed in praying four hours a day, fasting five days a month, and reading an entire book of the Bible every day. And his love for you does not change when you can't squeeze in 15 minutes of prayer a day, haven't fasted in years, and a single verse of scripture is all you can read in a week. When you find you haven't done something you know is pleasing to the Lord, and you know God would want you to do it, don't give in to guilt and shame. You haven't disappointed him. You have only disappointed yourself and robbed yourself of the blessing of doing it. And when you feel that pull toward guilt and shame, remember that it is your own heart that condemns you, not God. One John chapter three, verse 20 tells us for if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart and he knows all things. Pull this all together and you can be confident that God loves you no matter what you do or don't do. And you can let go of the guilt and shame for disappointing God right now. Let go of the myth that we disappoint God. Do you have other verses that help you discard feelings of guilt and shame for disappointing God? Let us know and feel free to share how you have been impacted by letting go of those feelings. Now, as I mentioned earlier, if you want to read more about this topic, you'll find it discussed in chapter three of, Hey Dad, It's Me! Discover the Father Who Loves and Protects You. Be sure to go to amazon.com/heydad, or click the link in the show notes to pick up the book. That's it for today. Please take a second to subscribe to our show so you'll be notified when future episodes come out. Also, it would mean the world to us if you would rate or review our show. That way more people can find out about it. Until next time, let's be confident in this that he who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.