Finding Peace Through Dementia: A Testimony of God's Goodness

In this deeply personal testimony, host Julie McGhghy shares how God transformed what seemed like the worst diagnosis into an unexpected blessing. When her mother was diagnosed with dementia just over a year ago, it appeared to be a devastating end to an already difficult relationship marked by mental illness and estrangement.

But God had other plans.

Julie opens up about her mother's lifelong struggle with depression, the painful years of isolation, and how two estranged adult children suddenly found themselves responsible for her care. What could have been a year of anger and resentment became something beautiful—a year of peace her mother had never experienced before, and an opportunity for Julie and her brother to finally love their mom the way they always wanted to.

This episode is for anyone walking through seemingly impossible circumstances, wondering if God can truly work all things for good. Julie's testimony proves that even in diagnoses we never wanted, relationships we thought were broken beyond repair, and situations that appear hopeless, God is faithful to show up.

https://confidenceingod.com/resources/ 

Episode Timeline (Total: ~14:54)

0:00 - Introduction & Welcome

• Podcast intro and purpose statement

0:11 - Why This Testimony Matters

• Revelation 12:11 - Overcoming by testimony
• Setting up the story of walking through difficulty

1:07 - The Diagnosis

• Mother's dementia diagnosis one year ago
• Mother's recent passing
• Initial response: "Don't be sorry"

1:52 - God's Goodness Through Dementia

• Romans 8:28 - All things work for good
• How God showed up unexpectedly

2:29 - Background: A Lifetime of Struggle

• Mother's mental illness and depression
• Suicide attempts and psychiatric hospitalizations
• Difficulty receiving love

3:16 - The Pattern of Rejection

• "No, you don't" - her response to "I love you"
• Impact on children and relationships

3:42 - Years of Isolation

• Mother pushing people away
• Living alone, estranged from children

4:08 - The Crisis Point

• Hospital call about dementia
• Two estranged children suddenly responsible
• Finding a place for her to live

4:33 - God's Unexpected Gift

• The difficulty of caregiving with a broken relationship
• Finding the love they always wanted to give
• A year of peace instead of anger
• Mother's unprecedented peace in dementia

5:39 - A Year to Love Her

• Finally able to express love without rejection
• Mother happy to see them visit
• No ulterior motives, just presence

6:08 - The Impossible Made Possible

• Hope for those in impossible situations
• Dementia becoming good
• Estranged children finding love for their mother
• God did it

7:14 - The Final Moments (New section I discovered)

• Hospice prediction: 3-5 days
• Alone time with mother
• Reading from her highlighted Bible
• Mother's emotional response and attempt to speak
• Passing peacefully the next morning
• A beautiful ending to the year of care

10:58 - Application & Encouragement

• Finding comfort in your own situations
• God's faithfulness in difficulty

11:18 - Key Takeaways

• Trust God with unwanted diagnoses
• Remember to testify about God's work
• Power of testimony to build confidence

12:06 - Closing Prayer

• Thanksgiving for the year with mother
• Prayer for listeners in impossible situations
• Boldness to share testimonies

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Transcript

0:00

Hello and welcome to the Confidence in God podcast. I am your host, Julie McGhghy, and our goal today is to help you walk with confidence in God. Today, I'm just going to testify of God's goodness, particularly His goodness, through a very difficult situation that just recently came to an end. Why do I testify of this? Because we know Revelation 12:11 tells us and they overcame him, and him is or he is the accuser of the brethren, by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony. I want to encourage people who may also be walking through a similar, difficult situation or other difficult situations in their lives, especially if the accuser of the brethren is beating them up, because in those difficult situations, there may seem to be no right answers, or you question yourself,"how do I handle this, how do I handle that?" I'm going to share about a year ago, my mother was diagnosed with dementia. Now, as soon as I say that, I think most of my listeners cringe because nobody wants a diagnosis of dementia for themselves or for any of their loved ones. And I certainly felt the same way. But it's been a little over a year now and my mother just passed away last weekend. Most people's reaction to that when I informed them that my mother has passed away is the usual condolences and I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry. And I understand that, but my response to that is don't be sorry. God was so, so, so, so, so good to us through this year. You might not understand how that could be. Certainly I would not have anticipated it as we began walking through her journey into dementia. And some things don't seem so wonderful. And yet God is faithful as we know in Romans 8:28, and we know that all things work together for good, for those who love God to those who are called according to his purpose. He certainly showed up and worked everything to the good. Now, the difficult part actually started long before the dementia diagnosis. My mother was a person who struggled with mental illness. The base diagnosis for her life was depression. And she began struggling with depression long before I was old enough to even know what the word meant. But throughout my life, there were times when my mother had attempted to take her life, when she was admitted to psychiatric hospitals. The way that played out often I think for my mom was that she had a very difficult time recognizing when people were trying to love her. She had a certain way that she would feel loved, and if a person was not showing her love in that particular way, then if they were to say,"I love you, Mom," or"I love you, honey," if it happened to be one of her husbands, her response would be,"no, you don't." Well, you can imagine that was difficult. As her children that was very difficult. Through the years as she grew older, she isolated herself. She tended to kick most people out of her life, including her children. Again, if she doesn't feel love, then she would rather be alone than to have people saying they love her, but not showing it in the way that she wanted to be shown. And so she lived a very isolated life, especially towards the end. When my brother and I were informed that she was in the hospital, that the doctors determined she had dementia and she was not able to live alone, we have these two estranged children, my brother and I, suddenly having to take responsibility and try to find her a place to live, to take care of her. God was so good. That was difficult, I will say that. It's difficult even when you have the best relationship with the person, but it's particularly difficult when you've had a really tumultuous relationship with the person. And yet God was so good to my brother and I. We found in our hearts the love we always wanted to give Mom. So instead of a year of horrible anger, horrible lashing out, she never did go into the, aggression that people with dementia often do. She never went through anger. Instead, it was a year of peace for her. In her state of dementia, God showed up for her, was with her, and she felt more peace in that year than we had ever witnessed her to have throughout our lives. And in addition to that, that gave my brother and I a year to love her the way we always wanted to love her, just to be there for her, to care for her. We could even say,"I love you, Mom," and she wouldn't say,"No, you don't." She was happy when we came to see her, not for any ulterior motives, but just to have us there visiting with her. So my reason for testifying today, is to give hope to those of you who think that certain situations are so impossible that there's no way God could work it out for good. There's no way, certainly in our minds, that a dementia diagnosis could ever be good, and yet it was. There's no way that two adult children who had been raised in very difficult situations and very traumatic relationships with their mother could find the love in their hearts to love her through this difficult diagnoses and to look for the very best for her throughout every decision that we had to make for her. And yet, God did it. God did it. To end this testimony, I want to share with you the last moments that I had with my mom. Hospice had told us that she would be passing in the next three to five days. They certainly didn't expect her to pass that night or the next morning. I had been with her much of the day, and in the evening I was there and it was the first time for the previous three days that I had timed to be alone, just my husband and her in the room. My brother had gone home. The hospice person had stepped out of the room. I had wanted so badly to just take Mom's Bible and read some scripture to her because I thought she would find comfort even though she wasn't in a place of communicating with us at that point. So I picked up her Bible and I scooted up close to her and I said,"Mom, I'd like to read from your Bible." I opened the Bible and I'm leafing through it. I certainly had a passage in mind that I was gonna read to her, but I was surprised as I was flipping through it that she had spent time in God's word and had highlighted a lot of scriptures in there. So I said,"Mom, I see that you've done a lot of study and you've done a lot of highlighting here. Well, let me flip through here and share with you a scripture." I went to the scripture I planned to share, and sure enough she had it highlighted. I said,"Mom, the scripture I wanted to read, you have highlighted, so I'm sure it was important to you." As I began to read it, a tear came to her eye. The way she was resting, it couldn't flow down her cheek or anything, it just kind of pooled at the corner of her eye. I wasn't sure if her eyes were just watering or if she was feeling pain or what she was experiencing. And then her chin started quivering like a person's chin will quiver when they're trying to fight back strong emotion and crying. And then for the first time since I'd been there that visit, she tried to speak. She couldn't speak, but she was desperately trying to speak. So I continued reading to her until that stopped and she was resting quietly again. And then I closed the Bible, said goodnight, and my husband and I left. Before we arrived the next morning, Hospice called us and let us know she passed. I know I will never know for certain what Mom tried to say to me in those last minutes that I had with her. But I will always cherish that she had something on her heart that she wanted to share with me, and I believe it to be something that would have brought peace to not just me, but to my siblings as well, and that she would have been able then to pass in peace, and she did pass in peace. I just wanted to share that with you because it was a beautiful ending to me of the year in which we were able to care for and love our mother. I hope that you will look upon your own situations. That you will find comfort and encouragement that God is faithful to work everything, every difficult situation out for good. What are the takeaways to this testimony? When you get a diagnosis that you never, ever wanted for yourself or one of your loved ones, remember that God is faithful to work it all out for the good, for those who love him and who are called according to his purpose. When you see God working in difficult situations, whether you see it in the midst of the situation or after you've been brought through it, remember to testify about what God has done. It is through the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimonies that we overcome the struggles of this world and your testimony will help others to build confidence in God. I want to close in prayer. Precious Jesus, I thank you. I thank you for something I never thought I could. I thank you, Lord, for this year that we've had with our mother, in which you showed her peace beyond anything she experienced in her life, and she found that peace through a state of dementia, Lord. And you walked with her. I have total confidence. You walked with her through it, and you definitely walked with my brother and I. And so, Lord, I pray for every listener here as they're thinking in their own minds about this situation or that situation that they are struggling with, and that it seems so impossible. Encourage them, Lord, help them to know that you will show up for them as well if they keep their eyes on you, keep everything before you. You will guide their every footstep. Whether it be through the journey or at the end of the journey, they will see that you were there all along and that indeed you worked through it for good. And then give them boldness to share their testimonies so that they too can encourage other people and build their faith. In Jesus' name I pray, amen. If you are struggling having confidence that God will do all he says he will do in and through you or that he will answer the prayers you pray, I invite you to check out a couple of resources I have available to you at confidenceingod.com/resources. Five Steps to Experience More Confidence in God will help you live a more confident life as you search to know Jesus better. And How to Have Confidence in Your Prayer Life will help you build confidence that God will answer your prayers. I will drop a link in the show notes. Just click on it and click on the resource you want to receive. Both resources are freely available to you. So that's it for today. If you find this podcast episode helpful, please take a second to subscribe to our show so you'll be notified when future episodes come out and share it with your friends and loved ones. Also, it would be great if you would rate or review our show. That way more people can find out about it. I would really love to hear from you. If you have a testimony to share with me, please reach out to me and share it. If you just need prayer, please reach out to me and let me support you in prayer. So until next time, let's be confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.