Holding the Line with Got Your Six Counseling

Holding the Line with Got Your Six Episode 7: Buzz Words

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Join Brittany and Peggy as they torture the practice owner, and you watch us bumble through technical issues that ultimately derailed the original publication!
Again, we are professional therapists, NOT professional podcasters.

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Hey everyone, and welcome to Holding the Line with Got Your Six Counseling. I'm Peggy, and this is Brittany. This is a space where we get real about the shit nobody wants to talk about. Mental health, life, trauma, healing, and everything in between. Sometimes we get clinical, sometimes we get messy, but it's always honest. Quick reminder, this podcast is in therapy and it's not a substitute for professional care. We're not here to provide therapy, diagnose or treat. If you're struggling with mental health, please reach out to a licensed provider. You don't have to go through it alone. We've got your six. We're just two trauma therapists showing up as humans first, ready to have real unfiltered conversations about the stuff that matters. We're here to break the stigma, share what we've learned from both sides of the therapy room, and talk about the challenges people face every day, especially in the veteran and first responder communities. Whether it's trauma, burnout, relationships, identity, or just getting through the week, we believe that these conversations matter. They deserve space, and that's what we're holding the line for. So let's dive in.

Brittany :

today is I've stopped counting what episode we're on now'cause I've lost count. Seven. Yeah, maybe seven. Today we've got our lovely mother with us, and she's gonna be joining us today to talk about therapy buzzwords, because it kind of makes our eyes very, very twitchy. So she kinda asked to join us because you know, all the things. But first we wanna address our last episode.

Christina:

riled up.

Brittany :

Yeah. Yeah. And it's gonna be, it's gonna be a juicy today. Bringing up all these, we got lots of ones to cover, but first we wanted to address our last episode. We're not sure what went wrong with that when we, when Christina was editing it, and then when we watched it all the way through to make sure that it was good, it was fine on our end. So we're not sure what happened with that, but we're just out here weighing it, trying to figure out, how all these things work together. So but we still got lots of views and I got a lot of good feedback. I don't know about you Peggy, but a lot of my first responder patients in law enforcement were like, we could totally relate to that. And Kendall was very shocked. When I was telling her that I was getting good feedback. She was like, I guess I'm relatable. So I loved it and then I forced my family to watch it. Yeah. She's kind of a black cat. Yeah. She's totally a black cat. I really enjoyed that one. Like I watched it again, I watched it edited, and then I watched it again and I was like, this is actually a good one. So I'm super excited about,

Christina:

it. I.

Brittany :

yeah, I I enjoyed that one. I enjoyed recording it, not just because she was my sister, but because it was a good one.

Peggy :

Well, just because it was something not just relatable, like it was real and it was just outside of, our scope, but like hearing like the actual response and what somebody does beyond the therapy wall.

Christina:

Yes.

Brittany :

We so seldom get 9 1 1 dispatchers too.

Christina:

I was just gonna say that, yeah, there's,

Brittany :

Mm-hmm.

Christina:

such like, this unheard from group. Everybody assumes first responders, so there must be cops you know, EMTs. So, you know, we're talking ambulance drivers. And I think people forget that firefighters are EMTs. A lot of them. And, you know, that's their, that's how they make their transition. And dispatchers don't get training. They just get thrown to the wolves and here they are and kind of like I make you guys do. So

Brittany :

Fed, throw a fire hose.

Christina:

I use the term today learning ladder. It's not a curve. It's a fucking ladder, and it just goes this way.

Brittany :

I, that feels nicer. Right? And I feel like that's because you've gotten nicer. I tell people. Yeah, it's true. Peggy,

Christina:

of all, I made somebody

Brittany :

I.

Christina:

today. Okay?

Brittany :

Sorry, sorry, whoever that was. If you're listening, we're not gonna name any names, but you've gotten nicer and I people agree that you, I had as a student was scary, like terrifying. The people that, the, the you that people get now is much nicer and I feel like the.

Peggy :

her through a different lens now.

Christina:

think you're viewing me through a different lens now.'cause I, I don't think I've changed. I think, I think I back off you guys as you grow, right? And,

Brittany :

Maybe.

Christina:

I. I don't, like to clarify for our listeners at home,'cause you guys are talking about how I'm scary. Like, I'm not like, mean, scary. I am, but like, I'm not like, I'm like out here trying to hurt people's feelings. Jesus Christ. People are gonna be like, I don't want Christina. As a therapist, please. She's, I, I heard she was scary. Not scary, like frightening. I am intimidating because I'm good at what I do and I require a lot from my clinicians, which is why we have been successful, which is why I have such a fantastic team. And I got a little emotional on our first episode talking about how much I love you guys because you guys are awesome. But, and it's because I require a lot because I very deeply believe in the work that we're doing. And I'm not in the business of putting shitty clinicians in front of our veterans and first responders and our, our civilian trauma survivors and allowing them to fucking wing it, which is what so many clinicians are out there doing right now with one of the buzzwords that we're gonna talk about today. pisses

Brittany :

fair. That's fair. So we could jump right into that, I guess. And Peggy was very much like, this is why words matter and so on. So you wanna jump into it? Peggy, you wanna start us off?

Peggy :

Yes. So the first one we're starting off with is trauma informed.

Christina:

I hate this phrase

Peggy :

because we use calming music and soft lighting. In our practice, we

Christina:

because I'm gonna give you CBT worksheets. Oh yeah, Reiki. Fuck that. I

Brittany :

Informed clinicians.

Christina:

because I read a book on PTSD and I can spell PTSD, so I am trauma informed.

Brittany :

Because I read The Body Keeps the Score. It's still a good book, right? I tell people to read it.

Christina:

It's

Brittany :

Lord and Savior, Bessel VanDerKolk. Okay.

Christina:

yes,

Brittany :

because you read it doesn't make you trauma informed, right?

Christina:

no. not. So.

Brittany :

because you own a binder that says how to treat trauma doesn't make you trauma informed.

Peggy :

How to

Christina:

Well, I,

Peggy :

1 0 1 specifically.

Christina:

attended a pesi training, Brittany, I am trauma informed. It was six hours. I'm good.

Peggy :

Okay. So what actually makes a practice or person trauma informed.

Christina:

Lots of work and dedication.

Peggy :

Mm-hmm. And it, but

Christina:

Thank you.

Peggy :

just like a technique though. It's, it's a framework. And I think people get that very confused in this convoluted state. Like, why, why are you confusing the two? Like there's not, like I practice PTSD training, or I practice PTSD. No.

Christina:

yep,

Peggy :

you're doing.

Christina:

yep. And I. I, I think there's also like this misunderstanding, and I know you guys experienced this when you went through your EMDR training. I experienced it when I went through my EMDR training. People showed up to learn EMDR because it's like the gold standard for trauma treatment. Yes. As right as a practitioner of EMDR, as a patient of EMDR, like hand to God, that shit is fantastic and amazing. My dissertation is on it for fuck's sake, but what I noticed is that so many people showed up without an understanding of what trauma was and expected it to be and, and I'm not diminishing depression, I'm not diminishing OCD or anxiety or any of the diagnoses. They are all can potentially very debilitating. Right. It is so much more than I am a pantsless combat veteran living under a bridge, drinking out of a paper bag. It is more than I jump at fireworks. It is like pervasive throughout your life, this dysfunction and inability to navigate appropriate situations from the perspective of safety. And I don't think that clinicians understand that. And they just show up and they're like, oh, I'm gonna do this in front of somebody's face, and like their trauma's going to go away. And then they freak out because clients are dissociating or they're having abreactions. And so I think you have to have a solid baseline understanding of what a trauma experience is first. Or like, well, if you stop thinking about it like that, it'll go away. Right. It's like, that's not, that's not how that actually fucking works. Like,

Peggy :

Not helpful.

Christina:

no. That's like depression. If you go stand outside in the sun for a little bit, your depression will magically cure up. Although public service announcement, because it is July, we're recording this on July 8th. We'll publish it in a couple weeks. It's summer. I get it. It's fucking sunny out and it's warm. And the weather's nice. You are still mentally Ill show up.

Peggy :

It. It starts at like the end of March when spring

Christina:

It sure does. Yep. And everybody's like, oh, I feel great. Stop it. Stop it. Stop canceling your fucking sessions. Mm-hmm. Yep. School starts and your kids are crazy. And then the holidays are coming and you're broke again.'cause you spent all your money on summer vacations, but the holidays are coming. So how are you gonna buy your kid that PS five and now you're having a panic attack and you wanna come schedule with us? I'm sorry, I was on summer break too.

Peggy :

Just go

Christina:

Oh

Peggy :

please.

Christina:

yeah. So go to therapy. Fuck. Because also we're gonna, like, if you stop showing up, we're gonna schedule somebody over your time slot. So like don't, don't come crying when you're like, I had a 4:00 PM spot and now all you have is 10:00 AM I don't, I don't know what you want me to tell you.

Peggy :

Because that, that is trauma informed, but that also plays into like go to therapy.'cause we are holding space,

Christina:

I hate that phrase. I.

Peggy :

we're holding space.

Christina:

I, I, in full disclosure, oh, hi Winky. My dog is deciding to join us today for the podcast. In full disclosure, I have used that in my notes.

Peggy :

We, we often do.

Christina:

Hi, so overused. Yep. Let me hold the space for you. How are you gonna do that? I'm gonna sit here and listen. Just say that.

Peggy :

Without judgment. Without judgment. That's the biggest part of it.

Christina:

Yep. Yep. And if you're coming to me, if you know me in a social setting, so like you're not my client and you come to me and you're like, Christina, and you tell me some unhinged shit, be prepared for some judgmental responses. I am not working. I am not your fucking therapist. I'm gonna be like, what time do we ride? I'm fucking there. Let me put the shovel in the trunk. I'm there. Like, let's do this. We don't come to me and be like, I would like some feedback from a therapy perspective.'cause like that's not, I'm off the fucking clock homie. I'm not, we're not doing that.

Peggy :

The next one, I think is one of our really eye twitchy ones. And it is boundaries because I see it. Yeah. Well, I, it's so misappropriate used. I, I, I, I blocked him. That's my boundary.

Christina:

Yep. Yep. My boss wanted me to work. He violated my boundary

Peggy :

but boundaries aren't about punishment either.

Christina:

And go ahead.

Peggy :

It's like you're supposed to actually talk about those boundaries with people. Like they're supposed to know about them instead of like this invisible boundary that they don't know about. And they're like, well, how do I know? I violated said, boundary you it, and actually tell me about it.

Christina:

There's so much respect for yourself when you can say to yourself and then to whomever it is. Like, I don't like being treated this way.

Social Media:

Hey guys, it's Christina, your friendly Neighborhood podcast producer. Well, I don't know, I guess if you've been listening to this podcast, I'm, I'm not so friendly perspective, I guess. Uh, so I'm sure you've seen some glitches and if you're listening and you're not watching us on YouTube, first of all, why not? But also, um, you probably heard some jumps around, and if you're watching on YouTube, you probably saw some screen shifts. I wanna apologize. We are really phenomenal at therapy, like top notch at holding space for clients and helping them through a whole host of mental health diagnoses. What we are obviously not very good at is things like technology and podcast producing and, um, like internet in our homes, Brittany. So, uh. Brittany, we lost her for a little bit and then we like actually lost her and then she comes back. So I apologize. Uh, we're gonna return to our regularly scheduled, um, kind of fucked up podcast. But yeah. So thanks for listening and tolerating us thus far.

Christina:

Uhoh. Did we lose Brittany? And now she's coming back.

Peggy :

Oops. See.

Christina:

Now we got four of us. I don't know. Remove

Brittany :

booted out?

Christina:

participant. Hold on.

Peggy :

How do we make the other one go away?

Christina:

I, I just tried to remove her. I'm gonna cut this whole piece out, so, or I'll let it stay in. Fuck it. Okay. And we're back. And you're like way clearer now?

Brittany :

the hell happened?

Christina:

Yeah. I don't know. I don't even remember what I was talking about. So

Brittany :

I

Christina:

we have to now.

Brittany :

now.

Peggy :

She lost that thought.

Christina:

Yep. Yeah, look, this is my perimenopausal brain fatigue fog thing happening at eight o'clock at night.

Peggy :

Damn

Christina:

I'm done with my day. Did you see that link I sent you for the We do not care club.

Peggy :

Yes, we are in the do not care right moment now.

Brittany :

I can't hear Christina, what the hell is going on?

Christina:

You can't hear me? What the fuck?

Peggy :

Can you hear me?

Brittany :

I can hear Peggy, but I can't hear Christina.

Christina:

That's fucking weird. Do we have to do this all over again?

Peggy :

I hope not.

Christina:

We're too tired for this. Just

Brittany :

to the winging it and not knowing what we're doing, I

Christina:

mm-hmm. I'm absolutely leaving this in the podcast. We're keeping this, I don't know what's happening. You still can't hear me?

Peggy :

You still can't hear her.

Brittany :

No.

Christina:

Maybe have her log out and log back in. We can talk shit about her while she's gone.

Peggy :

Log, log out and log back in.

Christina:

I could talk shit about her. She can't hear me, so maybe I'll just do that. So there's this one time Mind your business. So I'm gonna put the cup in front of my face so she can't see me talk.

Brittany :

like

Christina:

I know. So there was this one time, or I'll just move my mouth like this and pretend like I'm talking about her, but I won't say anything. I can't wait for her to hear this. Oh, she feels sad. I boot her out and boot her back in. Tell her to leave and come back in. There will be a technical difficulties beep going on, and I'm gonna cut all this out.

Peggy :

Can you hear us dear?

Christina:

Can you hear me? This is like a Verizon commercial. Can you hear me now? Excellent.

Brittany :

I can hear you now.

Christina:

the record, I said absolutely nothing about you. I talked no shit. I just said how I was gonna talk shit. And that it was gonna spin you up.

Brittany :

You totally did talk shit because Peggy was cracking

Christina:

Yeah,

Brittany :

You know, it's funny, when we were rewatching like. I forced, I held my family hostage and forced them to watch several podcast videos. And my dad's like, who's that girl that's always smiling? And I was

Christina:

it's me. Oh,

Brittany :

And I was like, that's, I was like, remember when she came here from Memorial Day? Several, like years ago? He's like, no. I was like, literally her and her husband came here with their children. He was like, I must not have been here. Shout out to my dad, who doesn't remember my wife. He's

Christina:

thanks dad.

Brittany :

your boss? I was like, no. She thinks she's my boss. She keeps me functioning,

Christina:

She is the work wife, so technically she is.

Brittany :

Yeah. Shout out to the guy at the hotel at the Christmas party who was like,

Christina:

actually thought you guys were married.

Brittany :

Mm-hmm. He's like, I just wanna let you and your wife know that. Like there's a snack machine there and there's a drink machine there. And I walked up and I was like, the guy at the front desk, thanks for actually married. I

Peggy :

I was like, so who's the man in this relationship?

Brittany :

I'm not sure.

Christina:

Yeah. You can't be both bottoms.

Brittany :

there, we don't need a man. So we finished with boundaries. Yes.

Christina:

Yes. Yes, we did.

Peggy :

So

Christina:

going on with my hair?

Peggy :

need a little bit of grounding?

Brittany :

I'm gonna leave, is this the grounding where we're like 4, 3, 2, 1. Because I,

Peggy :

Touch some grass, go

Christina:

Go touch the grass.

Brittany :

I do say touch grass a lot. I'm like, go touch some grass.

Christina:

In the army, we had a phrase, go pound sand, which meant go fuck yourself. But like, so I feel like that's the same thing, like go touch grass.

Brittany :

I, when I say that, I literally mean, the science says that when your hands are in dirt and you touch grass, it does release

Christina:

It does.

Brittany :

Okay?

Christina:

does. I'd be out there dopamine it up some days. Mm-hmm.

Brittany :

I repotted all these plans and I felt like a million bucks. So that is legit. But grounding doesn't, it doesn't,

Christina:

No.

Brittany :

work very

Christina:

Yeah.

Brittany :

Not in the way that people think.

Christina:

No.

Peggy :

it depends because I look like a toddler at my desk.

Christina:

It is called stemming.

Brittany :

That's you. Yeah.

Peggy :

I have a button.

Brittany :

different.

Peggy :

It keeps me centered and grounded while I am That's like, I look like a fricking toddler.

Christina:

Oh, I have the first yawn of the night. Sorry guys.

Brittany :

I feel like grounding's more, like I'm being mindful about now,

Peggy :

It did,

Brittany :

Like I'm being mindful about right now.

Peggy :

I mean like good mindfulness techniques,

Brittany :

Right.

Christina:

Yeah,

Peggy :

you know, when we're doing like calm, safe place and like really going into those exercises,

Christina:

yeah.

Peggy :

picking out five things in the room does nothing for me. I don't know how many people it, it, it depends.

Christina:

it is. And I think it works for some people. But I, again, I think this goes back to like just it being overused, right? So this going back to like holding the space it's, it's so overused. I need to be grounded. How are you grounding yourself? And, and I think people just have like this misunderstanding and they assume, oh, I'm gonna go take five deep breaths, or, you know, I'm going to fuck, I don't know, count tiles in the ceiling. Sometimes that's very helpful. But when we're talking like more severe stuff, it's when you're having a panic attack, counting ceiling tiles probably in my experience has never worked for me, nor has it worked for anybody else that I've worked with who has panic attacks and is like counting ceiling tiles or floor tiles.

Brittany :

Because you can't think of that when you're having a panic attack and you can't think of that when you're. Hyper aroused and punching holes in the

Christina:

right.

Brittany :

whatever, right? Like, and I think people that don't have the, the right training to

Christina:

trauma informed care.

Brittany :

trauma informed care. To my voices are just like, Hmm, you should try some grounding techniques. And they're just like,

Christina:

Yep.

Brittany :

Sorry, that doesn't work for me. I will literally have new patients come that I've been to therapy before, and they're like, I've tried everything before, so please don't come at me and tell me to do 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, or deep breathing exercises. And I'm like, I would never tell you to do that. So they're like, good,

Christina:

I think for,

Brittany :

it. It doesn't work.

Christina:

for, for actual grounding, like the, and this goes back to trauma informed care again. You're looking at anything that activates the vagus nerve. Because when you're in fight or flight, right, your sympathetic nervous system, God, I can't wait to do the trauma one. You're activating the vagus nerve, which counteracts your sympathetic nervous system, right? So sympathetic nervous system dominance is fight or flight. You're fighting or you're running away. And the vagus nerve turns that off. It overrides the system and it is in every organ in your body with the exception of your adrenal glands. Nobody's trying to like push my kidneys, so I guess that's a good thing. But like deep breathing, like box breathing, that is a vagus nerve activation technique. Even things like certain STEM activities are a vagus nerve activation. You know, pulling on your ear lobes, vagus nerve activation scrunching your feet in your shoes, vagus nerve activation, that is grounding that grounds you in the here and now because it pulls you out of that fight or flight.

Brittany :

I like the ice cold in your

Christina:

yes.

Brittany :

Yeah.

Christina:

know who we need to get on here? Who? The giraffe. What the fuck is her name? She's on Instagram. It's the something giraffe. The, I don't fucking know. I'm gonna look her up. So continue on without me, because this is important to me. But we need her on this show. She did a thing about pouring cold water, like ice, cold water on her head, on her head to like pull herself out. She's the one that shows up and she's like, Hey, fuck Nugget. Here's your daily dose of compliments you don't even know you needed. And I'm like, thanks, thanks. Yeah. We need her. But she did one with ice cold water where she like pours it on her head and I was like, yes. That, that is grounding.

Peggy :

Yes.

Brittany :

I heard somebody say the other day to put their face in a, in a like bowl of ice water and I was like, oh

Christina:

Yeah. She does that at first and then she's like, fuck this, and then goes outside and pours it over her head.

Brittany :

Yeah. I would pass

Christina:

Yep.

Brittany :

I am not ever in a million

Christina:

Yep.

Brittany :

face in a bowl

Christina:

No, no. My hands, I'll put my hands in. I did, when I was on my cruise last week they have a cold tub on the cruise ship in like the spa. I got in it and I was like, fuck this. I was like, it was like up to like my mid thigh and I'm like, Nope. And I got right out. But I'll tell you what, when I finally worked up the courage to like sit in it, that and my green flag was making fun of me and calling me a sissy. And so, you know, I can't tolerate that so I sat in it.

Brittany :

I am not a quitter

Christina:

right, exactly. Mama didn't raise no quitter. So I did. I will tell you, and I only got up to like here'cause there was no way I was submerging my face.'cause we're just, we're not, I'm not trying to make my heart stop here people. But when I did and I got out like my legs and my feet felt amazing

Brittany :

Really,

Christina:

ah, fuck. It works.

Brittany :

especially for those of us who have chronic pain, I bet it does

Christina:

Yep. Sure does. Yeah, there's a lot of like really good research out there that supports it for like fibro and MS and stuff like that.

Brittany :

I will pass away. I am a cold individual anyway.

Christina:

I am too.

Peggy :

convince me

Christina:

I still have a heating blanket on the foot of my bed. I have a heating blanket on the foot of my bed and I felt good coming outta the tub, so I don't know.

Brittany :

eating blanket is on my bed. I sleep with it every night.

Christina:

Yep, yep.

Peggy :

I'm going through my hot flash stage of life, and I don't need a heated blanket.

Christina:

Hormones, baby hormones have saved me.

Peggy :

I am on them. They

Christina:

Oh well,

Peggy :

more.

Christina:

okay. I can't help you with that. I do, I do get the sweats. At some point the men listening to this are gonna be like, what the fuck? Just deal with it. Your women will go through it at some point. I very much will like wake up sweating at some point in the middle of the night. But like it's not nearly as, I don't have hot flashes during the day anymore, which is lovely, but

Peggy :

All right, so that, thank you for

Christina:

So that's that sidestep.

Brittany :

Yeah.

Christina:

Yeah,

Brittany :

You're

Peggy :

Validating my

Brittany :

to that

Peggy :

feelings.

Brittany :

you are so invalidating.

Christina:

no, I'm being honest and I'm telling you some shit about yourself you don't fucking like.

Brittany :

Yeah, confronting there's a

Christina:

Yes,

Brittany :

Like there's a difference between that

Peggy :

I mean, but we do validate in sessions because you know, feelings are there. They're real. Might not always like them, but hey.

Christina:

yes. And that's the other thing I'm gonna sidestep real quick'cause we're gonna talk about clinical writing

Peggy :

Mm-hmm.

Christina:

a moment.

Brittany :

validating and normalizing. Holy crap, bro.

Christina:

we, if you are normalizing somebody's experience, you're telling them that is normal. You're saying that makes sense. I get how you feel that way. That yes, I understand you wanting to punch your boss in the face. He sounds like a dick. Your boss makes people cry. She sounds like a bitch.

Brittany :

people would feel that

Christina:

Yes. Validating is saying you were right to punch your boss in the face,

Peggy :

Normalizing because I

Brittany :

with your husband?

Christina:

right? Right.

Peggy :

normalizing

Christina:

slept with anybody's husband that didn't already know. All right.

Brittany :

Yeah.

Peggy :

But you can normalize

Brittany :

Hypothetical. Hypothetical.

Christina:

speaking,

Brittany :

Yeah.

Christina:

I'm still looking for this fucking Instagram page.

Brittany :

life

Christina:

Yes.

Brittany :

Like that's fair.

Peggy :

Yeah, normalize feelings because that's okay.

Christina:

Because that is fine. We don't, yeah. Validate is Stop it.

Brittany :

It is not agreement. It's like I can, I can feel that it's like empathy, but also that goes along with empathy and sympathy.

Christina:

my god.

Brittany :

That's not on the list.

Christina:

That's not on the list, but we're gonna talk about it.

Peggy :

Oh

Brittany :

right. They're different. It's

Christina:

different

Brittany :

Because we were like, Hmm, I can sympathize with that. No, you can't.

Christina:

sympathy.

Brittany :

with

Christina:

No, no, you have it backwards.

Peggy :

you sympathy is giving that no sympathy is giving that just nonchalant, oh, I'm sorry.

Christina:

Sympathy is understanding that the other person feels the way that they feel empathizing is feeling what the other

Brittany :

it.

Christina:

is feeling, what the other person feels. So if I'm saying, oh, it must be hard that your family member passed away, I may have had family members pass away. And I can say, yeah, I get that. That feels awful. That sympathy. I'm sorry for your loss. That's sympathy. Empathy is, I feel what you feel because I have experienced it in my life and I'm feeling it right now with you.

Brittany :

Yeah, that's what I was saying. It's the diff It's the different, they're different. They're not the

Christina:

They're not the same.

Brittany :

get it

Christina:

Yes.

Brittany :

because I haven't been through the loss of a parent, so I can't. Empathize with Tim.

Christina:

Right.

Brittany :

different.

Christina:

And I have so I can,

Brittany :

a parent.

Christina:

right.

Brittany :

Yeah. And people are like, oh, I know what you're going through.

Christina:

I know.

Brittany :

I haven't lost. I haven't

Peggy :

Oh, and sympathy can feel disingenuous.

Brittany :

It's invalid.

Peggy :

It's invalidating.

Christina:

I feel invalidated and you're not respecting my boundaries. This is a triggering conversation.

Peggy :

Oh my.

Brittany :

we're onto the

Christina:

I've been waiting for that one. I've been waiting for that one.'cause I fucking hate that.

Brittany :

I'm so activated. Oh, that one sends Christina over the

Christina:

Yeah,

Peggy :

triggered me

Christina:

that triggered me. I'm feeling very triggered right now.

Brittany :

Yeah. That is such a buzz like that is, you think all these are

Peggy :

the most.

Brittany :

a

Peggy :

The most

Christina:

Makes my like eye twitch over here.

Brittany :

Yes.

Christina:

I need more

Brittany :

it

Christina:

whatever this is to get through this phone conversation.

Brittany :

Whatever

Christina:

It might be water. Leave me alone,

Brittany :

I

Christina:

I'm a grownup.

Brittany :

maybe it's fine.

Christina:

I am an adult. Dammit.

Brittany :

Have time

Christina:

oh. You should have, you should have made time. We would've weighed, we would've waited for you. Yeah. Triggered. I, so I we're having a conversation with a clinician. We got into an argument about it. And I have a lot of respect for this particular clinician. This was years ago when I was working at another practice and she had said something about, triggered, and I said, that's not what that means. And she's like, no, they were triggered. And I'm like, no. Triggered is when a benign event or stimulus activates a trauma response. So I had a client who I know would not be offended if I brought this situation up. Which is why I'm talking about it, because we don't talk about our clients.'cause that's confidentiality. But I know that this person would. Wants, has historically wanted like people to learn from their experiences. And they had an experience where they walked into, like, you know when you walk into a grocery store and there's that like, air thing above the door that makes that like down when you walk in and it's like really loud. What's that?

Brittany :

It keeps the

Christina:

Is that what it does? I never knew. I thought it was like, okay, I had no idea. So anyways, it makes that like really loud sound. So that is not going to kill you. It keeps the flies out apparently, which I had no idea. I thought it was like an air conditioning thing. He, the client in, in heard it and it reminded them of when they were deployed and heard the sound of generators. And when the generators died, the attacks started because the lights would go out in the, on the, on the base, on the fop. And so that was triggering for them because. It's a benign event or stimulus that activates a trauma response. If you are activated by a trauma stimulus that is like a firework going off or a car backfiring and you thinking it's gunfire, that is a, that, I'm sorry. That's triggering right? That is triggering. Activating is when you hear actual fucking gunfire and it activates your trauma response. That's what that is. That's the difference. God, that annoys me.

Peggy :

Don't we love grossly misused words?

Brittany :

Is like the benign and activating is like, this could be life

Christina:

yes. Mm-hmm.

Brittany :

kind of how I like.

Christina:

Yeah.

Brittany :

I explain

Christina:

Yeah.

Brittany :

this is how we're,'cause they're like, mm, I'm so activated. I'm like, no, you're not.

Christina:

And that's the other piece too, is they'll find something that is activating, but it's not causing a trauma response,

Brittany :

Mm.

Christina:

right? It's like, oh, I, I got into an argument with my spouse, right? And the argument with my spouse or my friend, or my whomever, right? Reminds me of when my parents fought, which inevitably led to violence. Can that be activating? Sure. And just because it upsets you doesn't mean you're activated, which is the other piece to it, right? This is like you're experiencing a trauma response because you're fight, flight, freeze, faint, fidget, fool around that, or fog. That is your trauma response. If you don't fall into one of those categories, you're not having a fucking trauma response. You're just upset.

Brittany :

are just upset.

Peggy :

And it's okay to be just upset.

Christina:

Yes. Yes, things upset me all the fucking time. I am upset. That is like my default setting is irritated and annoyed by most of things, and it has nothing to do with my trauma history. I'm just an irritated, annoyed, perimenopausal woman. Leave me the fuck alone.

Brittany :

We're just

Christina:

We're just stressed.

Peggy :

Maybe you need more self care.

Christina:

You know what I need to do? I probably should smile more. I bet if I smiled more. Yep. I should do that. Cheer up bitch. I,

Brittany :

I can't.

Christina:

it is like that meme that says if you whisper mental health into the bathroom mirror three times somebody with a, a live laugh, love t-shirt will come out and ask you if you've been outside lately.

Brittany :

You've seen that guy on social media that's at his house and his mom has like live, laugh, love stuff everywhere. And he's like, live, laugh, love, love, laugh, live laugh, love, live. And it's like so unhinged. She's got it like

Peggy :

Everywhere.

Brittany :

of her house it just gets more and more unhinged as the

Christina:

No,

Brittany :

and it's like. It is terrifying.

Christina:

is not frozen. I mean, it might be frozen, but like my video's not frozen. I am.

Brittany :

I'm gonna find it and send it to

Christina:

Please don't. Please don't. Also, speaking of social media.

Brittany :

it. So do you.

Christina:

Speaking of social media, I found her. It's the platinum giraffe. I will be posting it. We are gonna fucking get her on this podcast'cause she's hilarious. Yes. The platinum giraffe. Everybody go follow her.

Brittany :

Self-care is important, but I feel, I feel like people are like, Hmm, spending$20,000, that's my self-care.

Christina:

Or mowing the lawn, mowing the lawn's. Not your self care. To the client who tried to use that.

Brittany :

not self-care.

Peggy :

your ADLs are not self-care.

Christina:

No,

Peggy :

and feeding yourself, I'm

Christina:

That is now I, I believe that, can that be the first step in the process?

Brittany :

yeah.

Christina:

Yes. And it is.

Brittany :

to an expensive restaurant maybe

Christina:

not if it puts your family in debt.

Brittany :

No. No, not at all.

Peggy :

But your general self-care, it like your general like ADLs, taking care of yourself, waking up and brushing your teeth and those things, those are not self-care. That is part of human eating.

Christina:

Yes.

Brittany :

If you're a mom and you go to the grocery store by yourself without your kids, that's not self-care.

Christina:

Brittany? I am gonna move my mic over this

Brittany :

delivered. I don't know what you're talking about.

Christina:

now. That might be self-care.

Brittany :

not

Christina:

That might be self-care.

Brittany :

is soft. Yeah. I don't wanna leave my house on the weekends, so I get everything delivered. I don't care how much it costs.

Christina:

Yep. Yep. I have,

Brittany :

single thing

Christina:

I'll, I'll tell you this. I think COVI did such a fantastic job of like forcing me to learn how to let shit go. Like groceries delivered fucking Uber Eats and GrubHub, like, I don't feel like cooking. Done.

Brittany :

It's like zero thought too. You're like, I don't, I don't even say it out loud. I'm just like on the phone. DoorDash, what do y'all want?

Christina:

Yep,

Brittany :

for DoorDash.

Christina:

yep,

Brittany :

Boom, boom,

Christina:

yep. Absolutely,

Brittany :

are saved.

Christina:

absolutely. Speaking of which, speaking of DoorDash did you know that Sophia's birthdays tomorrow?

Brittany :

Is

Christina:

Oh yeah.

Brittany :

I have the list.

Christina:

You're fired.

Brittany :

Oops.

Christina:

Flowers and chocolates are on their way to the office tomorrow.

Brittany :

not after all the unhinged amount of information I gathered today. Okay.

Christina:

Yeah, but it's Sophia. It's Sophia.

Brittany :

Four

Christina:

It's Sophia.

Brittany :

I'm gonna have to birthday's tomorrow. I'll send her some giddy before group on Thursday too.

Christina:

Yeah. We're gonna, we'll do a celebration on group, but I've got flowers and chocolates coming to the office tomorrow with a balloon.

Brittany :

Peggy, don't let me forget.

Christina:

You know,

Brittany :

that meeting last Friday, I was like, Peggy, don't let me forget.

Christina:

you know who also reminded me, Stevie, who we haven't talked about.'cause she joined us after the podcast launched. But she's our newest clinician and she was like, oh, is it okay if I decorate her office tomorrow? Yes.

Brittany :

Please.

Christina:

She's at the light.

Brittany :

I need to set reminders on my phone for people's

Christina:

Yes you do.

Brittany :

100%,

Christina:

do.

Brittany :

yes.

Christina:

yep.

Brittany :

while self-care is important, I think people need to be more intentional. I.

Christina:

And yes, more intentional and not use it as an excuse to mistreat yourself like a night out with the girls at a bar can be self-care, but not if you wind up with your face in the toilet at 3:00 AM And this kind of goes back to boundaries. Yes, boundaries are when you require that you take care of yourself and do good things for yourself, but not at the expense of your overall health. So a yes boundary may be asking the cute guy at the bar for a date. But does not mean you get to go home with him that night with an unchecked STI status and have unprotected sex with him

Brittany :

Or be unsafe, generally speaking.

Christina:

go home with some random guy in general. Yes. Don't, don't be. Yes. Self-care means taking care of yourself and loving yourself. So go do more of that

Brittany :

about

Christina:

feeling guilty about it.

Brittany :

for being, for having Selfcare,

Christina:

Yes.

Brittany :

Christina has to fuss at me for all the time. I'm like,

Peggy :

All,

Brittany :

I

Peggy :

all the time,

Brittany :

like, rest,

Christina:

Yep. Yeah. I'm not the only one. I know Peggy's doing it too. Yep,

Peggy :

all the time.

Christina:

yep. She's like, I'm gonna take the day off so I can do work. No you're not. You're gonna take the day off to take the fucking day off. Hi buddy.

Brittany :

the same thing. I'm like, Hmm, I'm gonna take the day off, but I'm still gonna the office to work. She's like, why?

Christina:

No you're not.

Brittany :

Because I'm glutton for

Christina:

I will delete your Facebook, your fucking simple practice account.

Peggy :

Just

Brittany :

freeze it.

Peggy :

phrase

Christina:

can't, I can't freeze it. All I can do is delete. It's really obnoxious. I wish that simple practice would just allow us to like freeze an account because that would've been awesome for the whole Hillary situation

Brittany :

It would've

Christina:

because that was a nightmare yesterday. I,

Brittany :

the one I see on this list that really, really, or like makes my blood boil that I wanna just like

Peggy :

I,

Brittany :

blurt out right

Peggy :

resilience.

Brittany :

You know what it is,

Peggy :

Resilience, and I, that that is, that is her most eye twitchy

Brittany :

And I think Christina could probably relate because we both work with, with, with kiddos who are. Like, like really, really messed up. Right? Like, and I say that with all love I, I have in my heart for the

Christina:

they are severely impacted by their experiences that adults do to them. Stop hurting our fucking kids. Okay.

Brittany :

I feel like people say kids are so resilient. And I'm like, shut up. No, they're not.

Peggy :

not supposed to be.

Brittany :

of never being called resilient

Christina:

They're adaptive,

Brittany :

calling kids. Resilient.

Christina:

they adapt.

Brittany :

adaptive. They're not

Christina:

No,

Peggy :

And it's this word that has been thrust upon the military onto our, you are so resilient.

Christina:

no. I'm dissociating actively right now in this moment, dissociating. That is why I'm able to do my job because I have been taught the skills in basic training to actively dissociate my way through a traumatic experience. Welcome.

Brittany :

Mm-hmm.

Peggy :

They let, because they let, they label it on our kids. They label it on everything related. hate this word with ever fiber of my being.

Christina:

Yep. Yeah.

Brittany :

that people can't be resilient in a way, but like, stop, it's over you people. Like, mm, you're so resilient. Shut up. Don't call me that.

Christina:

Yeah. No, I don't.

Brittany :

Just because I've been able to push through everything I've been through doesn't mean I'm resilient. It means that I've just buried

Christina:

Yep. And I think that there is a misconception that that is resilience, which it is not.

Peggy :

Let's get into one of Christina's favorites,

Christina:

Oh, gross.

Peggy :

Bipolar

Christina:

Fuck. The weather is so bipolar today. No, it's not. It's doing what weather does because it's fucking climate change. Because we have a president right now who doesn't understand science.

Brittany :

I cleaned all night long. I'm set bipolar. I'm so

Christina:

I'm so manic.

Peggy :

mania is a symptom

Brittany :

Yeah.

Peggy :

Stop that.

Christina:

Characterized,

Brittany :

psychotic.

Christina:

there's that, but like I, it's like, and then people describe people like that, oh, well, you know, she was happy one minute and then pissed off the next She must be bipolar. No, that's called being a bitch, first of all. Secondly that there's, at no point is irritability a symptom. Yes. Is it a symptom of depression? Yes. Is it a symptom of mania? Yes. That's not what that means.

Peggy :

is not rapid shifting.

Christina:

No, no.

Brittany :

here.

Christina:

is and there is a return to baseline and that's what I think a lot of people don't understand even, and. We get a lot. We, I say collectively, the therapy community as a whole. I think we get a lot outpatient wise of clients coming out of a, like a inpatient facility or like a brief hospitalization who are given the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I am not knocking psychiatrists. We love them. We love the meds that they prescribe. Thank you very much. They are looking at somebody through a snapshot of right now, in this moment, how do I medicate them to comply with the hospital requirements to make them stable, to let them be released? And the quickest way to do that is to prescribe them a mood stabilizer. And what is a diagnosis that goes with the mood stabilizer bipolar disorder. And so we get a lot of clients who come to us with a bipolar diagnosis and I'm like, this is trauma or this is anxiety, or this is an adjustment issue to a very severe stressor that's happening right now. This isn't bipolar disorder. Do you have periods of mania followed by a return to baseline, followed by periods of depression or hypomania followed by depressive episodes? No. You don't have fucking a bipolar disorder, right? Wink. He knows. Excuse me. He's making a guest appearance twice today. Hi bud. That is your homie. He misses you. Hi bud. I'm working right now.

Brittany :

He is my friend.

Christina:

I love you. Yes, you very handsome. Okay. Oh, thank you. Those are good kisses.

Peggy :

One of my favorites right now is, and this is because it's so overused, and then because I'm a glutton for punishment and I love all things, personality disorders is narcissistic.

Christina:

Oh yes. So there is a, a dating site out there and it's on the men and the women's side. It's, are we dating the same guy and are we dating the same girl? I'm sorry.

Brittany :

so

Christina:

It's so spicy. I'm obsessed with it.

Brittany :

connections

Christina:

No, no, it is better. So, it was initially designed the, the one for women was initially designed to help women with potential sexual assault. Domestic violence, like unstable men. And unfortunately we live in a society. And if you don't agree with this or don't think I'm right, you're the fucking problem. We live in a society right now where unfortunately women, and this has nothing to do with our political stature, this has been going on for years where women have to take extra measures to protect themselves because we are consistently targets as a gender. And and that's not all people. But if you are a man and you think that that's not you, you're part of the problem, please be part of the solution. And so it was initially designed to like warn women of like potential partners that were like rapey or domestic violence otherwise just like skeezy shitty humans. It then turned into a, this guy asked me to see my titties and he is an asshole, so nobody date him, but he's a guy and he feels entitled because hashtag privilege. So he's gonna ask you and, and women are out there like, let me show you my titties. And so he's gonna ask, just block him,

Brittany :

and he wants to see boobies.

Christina:

Because they're great. I can't be mad at that. So like, just block him. Should we be approached with respect? Sure. Should we always be approached with respect? Should we approach all people with respect? Absolutely. But anyways, so this group, I. Sidetracked. It's because I'm, I've drank all my water. So this particular group loves to post like, oh, well he forgot my birthday. And everybody's like, he's a narcissist. Oh, he's a narcissist. And it's like I, or like one girl, like recently posted about how she was having issues with her partner who like wasn't, didn't wanna reciprocate oral sex. Cool. That's an open conversation that you have with your partner, right? And she was like, Hey, you know, I know this isn't like the group for it, but like this is an issue. And the amount of women that were like, he's a narcissist. No, maybe he just doesn't like the taste of pussy. Or maybe he doesn't like the taste of yours, or maybe he feels inadequate. I don't know. Fucking have a conversation with the dude.

Brittany :

raised to believe that that's not, like, that's not his thing.

Christina:

Right, right, right. Or maybe he doesn't know what he's doing. Maybe he doesn't know what he's doing.

Brittany :

maybe he's not good at

Christina:

Maybe he's not good at it. Maybe his ex told him that he wasn't good at it and now he believes that he wasn't good. Like, who knows? It doesn't make him a narcissist.

Peggy :

Well, all, all narcissists, Gaslight, too.

Christina:

Oh my God. That one.

Peggy :

Because they, they go hand in hand.

Brittany :

for people. Yeah.

Peggy :

Because like these two are going hand in hand, these two words together right now. And I'm like, okay, first of all, not all people are narcissistic. Do we all have narcissistic tendencies? Eh,

Christina:

Sure.

Peggy :

I mean, it, it just is what it is. Not everybody has narcissistic personality disorder. That takes trauma, first of all.

Christina:

Yep.

Brittany :

confused with avoidant attachment,

Peggy :

Mm-hmm.

Christina:

that's another one.

Brittany :

are,

Christina:

Don't, don't,

Brittany :

are like,

Christina:

sorry, go ahead.'cause I'm gonna get outta soapbox

Brittany :

I was gonna say, like people are like, mm, he's so narcissistic. And I'm like, okay, well maybe it's actually more like an attachment issue instead of being like, you're wrong.

Christina:

which attachment I think is, is it's fantastic that we are having more conversations about attachment and attachment styles and how we like to attach to people.

Brittany :

overused.

Christina:

is again, an overused buzzword. If you have not been trained in attachment styles, you don't know what they are, shut the fuck up.

Brittany :

Learning about it in grad school is not enough.

Christina:

No, no. Also,

Peggy :

it, because you're a life coach doesn't mean you know

Christina:

oh, that's another fuck life. Coaches who think they're therapists.

Brittany :

didn't you?

Christina:

Ah,

Brittany :

say it.

Christina:

are not life coaches. Life coaches are not therapists. Stop it.

Brittany :

You were waiting for your moment, weren't you? Peggy?

Christina:

Fucking hate that phrase.

Brittany :

her face. She's so

Christina:

I don't,

Brittany :

I love it.

Christina:

you know what Peggy? I, I recently found out that if you attached your top lip to your bottom lip, you can experience shutting the fuck up.

Brittany :

Peggy's just salty because she had someone leave her for a life coach like that is her Roman empire. She's just very, very

Christina:

What?

Brittany :

it.

Peggy :

Yes.

Brittany :

Yeah.

Peggy :

Yeah. He came like, they came back to me.'cause like, you know, they got better and was like, Hey, I'm in a like a state and need to come back. And then they're like, okay, I'm gonna go to a life coach. And I'm like,

Brittany :

Please discharge me. I'm leaving you for a lead. Coach Peggy got divorced for a lead coach.

Christina:

That's okay. Do people need life coaches? Sure.

Peggy :

yeah.

Christina:

there, are there situations where your life needs to be coached in a certain direction? Absolutely.

Peggy :

I wouldn't tell him what to do.

Christina:

That's like hairdressers. I love my hairstylist. Kaylee is fantastic. Love her. Cannot wait to go back and see her again. Kaylee is not a fucking therapist. And hairdressers who are like, I love it when my clients come to my chair and they tell me their story and I get to help them through their emotional moments. It's like I'm their therapist. You're not a fucking therapist. You went to cosmetology school and you cut hair. And while that is a fantastic skill'cause I can't fucking cut hair and I desperately need you to do something with this. You are not a fucking therapist. Life coaches are not fucking therapists. I need more of my,

Brittany :

accomplished it,

Christina:

I need more of my special water for that. I did not expect that. You fucking okie dod me on that one.

Brittany :

Just set you

Christina:

that shit right in

Brittany :

Yep. Yep.

Christina:

bitching. Sir,

Brittany :

I love it.

Christina:

nobody needs to hear from the peanut gallery.

Brittany :

she was not emotionally regulated.

Christina:

I am not. I'm tired.

Brittany :

love how we're all tying these together.

Christina:

Yes.

Peggy :

Freaking Riley is the worst with this because he speaks therapist as an 11-year-old. He's like, I'm emotionally dysregulated. I need to go calm down now. And I'm like, sir, of all, just say you're upset and go to your room.

Brittany :

Right.

Peggy :

I don't need you going to school speaking therapist.

Christina:

Right. Well, that's like the clients that come into our office and they're like, I have a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder. I experience intrusive memories and I experienced dissociative symptoms that similar. And I'm just like, do what?

Brittany :

I have body experiences.

Christina:

avoidant symptoms like dissociation, and I actively avoid thinking of these intrusive memories. Do you know what that fucking means? I.

Peggy :

if you have therapist patients,

Christina:

Oh, okay. Therapist patients. But as my, as a patient, I have never gone to my therapist and been like, I experience intrusive memories.

Brittany :

Yeah. Did you Google this before you

Christina:

Right, right.

Brittany :

Someone's been on the Google.

Peggy :

like you don't

Christina:

That,

Peggy :

in and speak therapist to me. I already know the words.

Christina:

yep. You can just tell me what you're experiencing. Yep, yep.

Brittany :

I be the therapist here?

Christina:

Right. Could you, you let me use that degree. Well, it's not on my wall, but you let me use that degree that's hanging on my wall. I'd appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Spend a lot of money on it. God bless. Fuck that phrase. But else we got

Brittany :

What's left, Peggy? I. We've been at this for a hot minute, except for our little

Christina:

except for our little SNAFU. Well, yeah. I don't know that the situation was ever normal, but it was definitely all fucked up.

Brittany :

We are not normal. That's,

Christina:

That's for sure. What else do we have? Oh, lived experience. I don't know that I have like a specific BI like polarization, which is not the same as bipolar. A specific polarization like against that one.

Peggy :

No, it's just like everyone has lived experiences though,

Christina:

Yeah,

Peggy :

the firsthand experience of it though. And again, it goes back to the thought come back. It just goes back to like not the invalidating people in, in what they're experiencing though.

Christina:

yeah, yeah. No, I agree. I agree.

Brittany :

Like, this is my perspective. This is, this is

Christina:

Yeah.

Brittany :

you. I, my feelings are valid. lived

Peggy :

My experience is valid because I actually experienced

Christina:

Yes. Yep. Yes. Last on the list is another one that makes my fucking eye twitch.

Peggy :

Oh, OCD.

Christina:

You can be clean as fuck. You can like things in a certain place or per, like my closet. Real true story. My closet is organized by the item of clothing, by like the sleeve length and the color, and they're on very specific hangers. It makes sense. That is not OCD if you are particular about something you do not have. O-C-D-O-C-D is persistent, unwanted thoughts and or compulsions, which are repetitive behaviors that if you don't do them cause your anxiety to increase. I like having my sink emptied before I go to bed at night and my kitchen cleaned. That doesn't make me OCD that makes me, well, first of all, that makes me like an adult. So there's that. But like, yeah, yeah. I get like so pissed off about that. I had a client years ago, years ago who he had OCD and his, like, his OCD was related to his like bookcase. And he had this like real big bookcase in his house. And the books had to be in a specific order and it wasn't like organized by color.'cause I asked him like, are we talking about like size or color type? And he was like, no, it's a very specific order. Where did that order come from? And he's like, well, it's just, it's, it's like the order it's supposed to be. And he couldn't come up with like a valid reason. Not that it's not valid that he believed this. And his girlfriend, it's not funny. When they would get into a fight, would fuck with him. And would like move the books around. Right. Not funny. And like in the, like, as you think about it, it's like, well, that's ridiculous. Like, just leave the books there. But to him it was so life changing that he would have to drink himself to like calm down. So he would drink to excess to get himself regulated enough so that he could then reorganize the books in the correct order. And in order to do that, would have to take them out of the bookshelf with rubber gloves, dust them with a dust rag, and then dust, clean the whole bookshelf, and then put them back in. Because he wasn't sure if she had brought dust into the bookshelf. Notwithstanding that like dust normally exists in people's lives, which dust gross me out, but like dust exists. Like it's a thing that like naturally happens, but if you touched the bookshelf, there was now dust that should be there and he would like not go to work. He would be shit housed cleaning this bookcase and every single book. And I'm not just talking like dust the books, I'm talking like with a rag each page

Peggy :

No.

Christina:

because he wasn't sure if the book had been opened or not. And then them reorganized and it would take'em all day. That is OCD.

Brittany :

thing. It takes a ridiculous amount of time and impacts, it impacts you in that way. Like work all of it. it's so much time. It's so time consuming.

Christina:

And it's so distressing. This isn't like, oh, there's dishes in my sink. So now I'm upset about it. And I wake up the next morning and I'm like, oh god, gross. This is like, it fucks your shit up. I'm not sleeping now because I'm scrubbing each dish plus all the dishes in my cabinet, plus the sink itself, plus the dishwasher like that, that is over the top.

Brittany :

I had that one as a student who would like all that like crazy cleaning at night, into the night, into the morning, get zero sleep, had to shower multiple times before school, wash

Christina:

Yep,

Brittany :

like burn a candle for in like a ridiculous amount of time, right down to like the second remember I came into your office, I was like, I think the patient has

Christina:

yep, yep, yep.

Brittany :

I was sure of it, but also I was like, you're gonna take her from me.

Christina:

I didn't, I let you keep her.

Brittany :

lose this patient. I was like, please

Christina:

I let you keep her.

Brittany :

Yeah, she's still hanging around. Yeah. So it's just be also like the germ thing and like the washing of the hands. Like it, So people are like, Hmm, I have to like do this thing, like repetitive threes and all sorts of, like, it can manifest in different ways, but just because you like rearrange things on your desk a certain way in your particular,

Christina:

Yeah. Now that might be a symptom of trauma

Peggy :

Or

Christina:

because,

Peggy :

neuros spicy.

Christina:

or a symptom of neuros spicy because we like things in order because it helps us feel calm and regulated.

Brittany :

I feel like mine's very A DHD. I'm like, I can't do this until I do that, because I'll be distracted by that while I'm doing this. Oh, that's OCD. Nope,

Christina:

No.

Brittany :

that's my A DHD

Christina:

Yep,

Brittany :

a brow.

Christina:

yep.

Brittany :

I can't do this work until those clothes are folded.

Christina:

Yep. Yep.

Brittany :

And then before I know it, I've cleaned the whole

Christina:

Yep. I'm folding clothes and then when I go put the towels in the closet in the, in the hallway, I look at the closet and I'm like, Ugh. And then I'm now cleaning the whole fucking closet. Yep. And then I'm reorganizing the whole hall closet.

Brittany :

sent me. I'm just gonna clean the kitchen and then I'm on the floor scrubbing the panels. Yep.

Christina:

Yep,

Brittany :

That was literally me this weekend.

Christina:

yep,

Brittany :

Wiping down all the

Christina:

yep.

Brittany :

Taking the toilet seats off the toilet. I was like, I stopped for a minute and I was like, that was the video she just

Christina:

That was,

Brittany :

ashamed. I was like, I was like, I can't even tell her I did

Christina:

well now you just did that would've given me something to make fun of you on when we had our technical difficulties. Oh, hi bud. He's making a third appearance.

Brittany :

you know, making fun of

Christina:

Hi, love. I love you.

Brittany :

can handle it.

Christina:

Yes, I will attend to you and your needs shortly. I think. I think we've done it. I think we've hit the list. I can't think of anything else that like specifically let's, okay, let's because this is where I'm working right now. I'm gonna sidestep real quick. I assuming that everybody who molests children is a pedophile. Not all child molests are pedophiles. Not all pedophiles, molest children stop it.

Brittany :

That'd be a good podcast to go to. Do

Christina:

Okay.

Brittany :

just let you get on your soapbox about

Christina:

could,

Brittany :

'cause I think that's a huge misconception and probably deserves a lot more, you know,

Christina:

And there's a huge

Brittany :

but

Christina:

understanding. I think there's a huge misconception because, and I'm not endorsing any of that behavior right. In any stretch. Like also like no means no. Like not saying yes also means no. I'm saying I might, or I'm thinking about it, or maybe later also means no,

Brittany :

Only yes

Christina:

only yes means yes. An enthusiastic yes. Like a fuck yes or like a hell yes. Or that means yes, please. But yeah, I think that there is so much misconception, and this goes into like our con like when we did our group supervision about like BDSM and non-monogamous or non-traditional relationships, there's so much misconception because nobody wants to talk about sex because penis and vagina are like, everybody is like, okay, she said penis. Ah. And it's like, it's, it, it's a body part. It's like a nose. It's fine. So yeah, I, I think that there's a lot of misconception about that and there's a lot of misunderstanding that not all people who sexually assault other humans are doing it. Because they're attracted to them or that they're aroused by them. And people who have the mental health diagnosis of pedophilia are sexually attracted to prepubescent children. Sexual attraction to post pubescent minors is normative. It is backed by science fucking at me if you want. And I'm not endorsing it and I'm not saying that it's okay. Please make sure that they're of age to consent to sex, please. Thank you. And if you are not of age, don't say yes. But I think there's a, a huge misconception out there about that. So I am, you know me, I'm always down to talk about sex and sex offenders and sex offenses.

Brittany :

I think having a conversation and like spreading the education about stuff, like that's important'cause people don't wanna talk about that ever.

Christina:

No,

Brittany :

And there's not a lot of people out there doing

Christina:

no,

Brittany :

I. Working with that population, you know, if they're few and far between. So putting it out there for people to really understand.'cause people fear what they don't understand, so they're just like,

Christina:

Yeah. Yeah. We had a mom call us year when the practice like first opened. And her like, he was like young. He was like under 10, I can't remember how old he was. He was like 10 or younger. And he had shown his penis to like a similar aged girl, like on the playground. And I was like, look, I have an outtie and let me see your innie kind of a thing. Right? And the mom was like, he's a pedophile. I'm like. He said, that's literally not the definition. No, he's not a sex offender. He is curious. And she was like, he's a sex offender, he's molesting. I'm like, no, he's not. He's curious. It's fine. So yeah. Yeah,

Brittany :

Parents freak out about a

Christina:

they do.

Brittany :

that, but also I think that's normal

Christina:

Yes.

Brittany :

Because it's, it's scary.

Christina:

that's a conversation for you two to have.'cause I'm part of the No Kids Club and so I'm looking forward to that podcast.

Brittany :

I, I think at the end of all this, if you're a patient of a therapist and you are. Not understanding what we're telling you, then you should ask to clarify. Although I've always said I have a hard on for psychoeducation. So if I bring up a word, I'm like, do you know what that

Christina:

Yeah.

Brittany :

Did you know? And I'm just gonna like, tell you

Christina:

Yep.

Brittany :

Like I'm not gonna give you a chance to even ask. But I think when people misuse these words, it minimizes their experiences and it's, it's not okay.

Christina:

Yes, I agree.

Brittany :

make sure you're, you don't know what it means. Don't use it

Peggy :

One

Christina:

Yes.

Peggy :

the more you know.

Christina:

I'll add that in to like right here. Yep.

Brittany :

the SpongeBob?

Christina:

I will,

Brittany :

SpongeBob

Christina:

me, let me write that down.'cause I think we all know I'm gonna fucking forget it. So Standby. SpongeBob Rainbow.

Brittany :

Mina.

Christina:

hold on. What is this? Oh, it's a piece of paper. No paper. SpongeBob Rainbow. Got it.

Brittany :

Do we have anything else to add, Peggy? Other than our regular, like you guys should totally like and share and follow. We're getting a lot more views now. I love that.

Peggy :

More

Christina:

Love that.

Peggy :

too.

Christina:

Whoa. Why did my camera get all weird? Yeah, subscribe. And if you think we're hilarious or you think these two guys are hilarious, I just show up from time to time. Fucking tell your friends and have them subscribe. We're not doing this for the money we're doing. We don't make any money. But we're doing this for funs

Brittany :

Yeah. In our next episode, it's gonna be. On fire. I'm just saying like the one that comes, well, it's not our next episode, so you're gonna see it before this one, so maybe I shouldn't say

Christina:

now. Our, our, the episode that you'll have seen prior to this one was fucking awesome was I had such a blast producing that one. I was like, this shit, I was dying. I was cracking up. And then my little graphics and my like info and shit. I was, I had such a great time.

Brittany :

my favorite part was when he goes, I was misdiagnosed as a DHD. As he is, like, I'm sorry if you're watching this now, I don't wanna say the name right, but if he's watching this one, probably

Peggy :

As sit there.

Brittany :

Watch one. Oh, my chair's

Christina:

As he's like rocking back and forth and then like changing subjects and like losing his train of thought.

Brittany :

Yeah.

Christina:

Misdiagnosed my fucking ass.

Brittany :

during a podcast. Like he's just standing and like moving around the room and I'm like, aren't you tired? Like, aren't your feet

Christina:

Yeah.

Brittany :

You don't

Christina:

Yeah. Well, and then when we did the like initial phone call with him and he was like, I can only give you an hour and then I get hungry, so I'm just gonna leave. I was like that.

Brittany :

is like, I might just dip

Christina:

Yeah. I was like, that's a DHD to a T, sir. Misdiagnosed my ass.

Brittany :

when we were recording

Christina:

know.

Brittany :

a sudden he was just gonna be like, I'm out.

Christina:

Well, and then he said, oh, I ate before I came. And I was like, oh, thank God.

Brittany :

Yeah, that was my first question when he came out. I was like, did you eat? And he was like, yeah, I just ate. I was like, whew. Oh

Christina:

Fantastic.

Brittany :

you watch that one before you watch this

Christina:

Yes.

Brittany :

and you're listening to this now, you're gonna be like, now I gotta go back and

Christina:

Go back and watch it'cause it was awesome.

Brittany :

It was awesome.

Christina:

I don't know what you guys have planned next'cause I don't watch, I don't look at your schedule. But I'm sure it'll be awesome.

Brittany :

We kind of just wing it. We definitely don't go by the schedule. We

Christina:

That's cool.

Brittany :

next topic and and her type aness will create and she's like, we're doing this one next. And I'm like, okay, whatever you say wife.

Christina:

So she is wearing the pants in this relationship then.

Brittany :

right? Like the. The, the podcast was my brainchild. And then like, she definitely except for like the, the one with Kendall, like behind the yellow line, like, I did that outline just because that was sort of my thing. But for the most part, she'll create it. And then she's like, G like at it, and then I'm like, mm, looks good. And then I get in and change things and just wing it off of the topic session.

Peggy :

It, it's

Christina:

I need to start changing the ending to reflect that she's actually doing some writing, because historically I've been like, I don't know, nobody's writing this shit down. But clearly Peggy is

Brittany :

Yeah, she, she mostly does the writing. I get in and kinda like, I, I don't write anything, but I had to get in there and do kinda of wing it a little bit. So,

Christina:

there.

Brittany :

yeah, she does a lot of the hard work. Yeah. She deserve a little bit more credit. It was my brainchild, but you know, there's that we were coming up with some more ideas. To do more things on a more frequent basis aside from these recordings. So

Christina:

Yes.

Brittany :

a conversation about that

Christina:

We're never at a shortage for ideas of things we wanna talk and complain and bitch about.

Brittany :

more shorter, more shorter videos in between what we're doing now, just to kinda boost some things up. So maybe be on the lookout for that. But said that, this is a really long

Christina:

Do you mean

Brittany :

you

Christina:

when you talk about more short videos, are you talking about more tiny hands?

Peggy :

Yes, yes. Plenty of those.

Brittany :

my gosh. I have more ideas. I'm gonna send'em to you also

Christina:

I have

Brittany :

I are,

Christina:

a fucking collection of them. Like I have like the thumbs up one and then I have, well, and then I have like the, this guy, I have a middle finger one, and then there is, I.

Brittany :

the metal hands? One take next

Christina:

metal. I don't have a metal hands one.

Brittany :

Oh,

Christina:

I wish. Yeah.'cause I would take that for next week. But there was, so Brittany was feeling sad and so I sent her a little video where I had this hand and this hand and I went like this.

Brittany :

She was like, does this make you feel

Christina:

I was like, do you feel better now?

Brittany :

I hate you.

Christina:

And I made like a weird face. I was like right up close to the camera and I was like,

Peggy :

And that is how we end.

Christina:

and that is what we're gonna end with.

Brittany :

can't.

I wanna thank you for tuning into this episode of Holding In Line with Got Your Six, but we're just a bunch of therapists who talk about the shit nobody wants to talk about. We hope you got something out of it. Stay tuned for more of our upcoming episodes every other week posted to our YouTube channel. Hold it in line GYS. If you wanna help support a podcast, please like this video and subscribe to our channel and share this video with others you think they get something useful out of it. Make sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram, where we'll post useful information, dark humor, and more of the shit nobody wants to talk about. Go forth and do magical shit everyone.

Christina:

You know, she's really gonna think I was talking shit about her, right? I am gonna have to tell her I wasn't.

Peggy :

Believe

Christina:

God bless.

Peggy :

later. She's be like, what was she saying?

Christina:

What did she say about me?

Peggy :

Fucking nothing.

Christina:

Good times.

Peggy :

I was like, we're all so tired. It's

Christina:

So fucking tired. This is gonna be super unhinged. I love it. There was a flood watch just issued. For where? For here? Probably for my fucking basement. Oh no, for Virginia. Oh, I'm not interested in that. I feel like Jeopardy music should play. Do you know what I'm gonna do? I think I'm gonna cut this piece out and I'll stick it at the end.

Peggy :

You are like, this is the best part.

Christina:

This is the best part. State of the end.

Peggy :

We lost her. It's okay.

Christina:

You know, she's like having an existential crisis right now. Being like, how do I get back in? And then Christina was talking shit about me.

Peggy :

I know she is losing her shit.

Christina:

She is. It's gonna be great. Oh. I'm too old to sit this long. Oh,

Peggy :

Maybe she lose power.

Christina:

I know, right? Well, I know she said it. I know. She said it was storming really bad. I don't know. Let me see if I can, no, she didn't text, so.

Peggy :

You okay?

Christina:

Yeah, I know, right? Are you well.

Peggy :

Yeah, my computer is being stupid. I know she is melting down now.

Christina:

She is absolutely melting down. She's gonna show up in a state. I hope she's got alcohol in that cup. Oh ma'am.

Peggy :

It will be a good transition to grounding.