From This Day Forward: How To Keep Living The Promise You Made

From This Day Forward: Embracing Your Vows

Lennon and Christal Noland, hosts of the Home and Marriage Podcast, discuss the significance and depth of traditional marriage vows. They reflect on their personal experiences, such as financial struggles, health challenges, and the importance of cherishing and loving one another. By revisiting the vows: to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and until parted by death, they provide guidance on navigating the complexities of married life with God's help. The episode also includes a reminder about their Six Habits of Happy Couples Course and encourages listeners to maintain and strengthen their marriage from this day forward.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:38 Mugs and Family Traditions
01:32 Weekend Recap and Family Time
03:11 The Importance of Marriage Vows
04:05 Renewing Vows and Commitment
05:19 For Better or Worse
13:39 For Richer or Poorer
18:44 In Sickness and In Health
21:04 To Love and To Cherish
27:14 Until Death Do Us Part
29:06 Conclusion and Farewell

Transcript

Christal: 0:00

Well, I knew you didn't have a lot of money. That was, obvious,

Lennon: 0:03

oh, what, what, okay. What made that obvious? Was it. Let's see. Was it the fact that I had clothes folded on a dollar store bookshelf instead of in drawers, which I didn't own any drawers. Was it my mattress that was on the floor instead of on a bed? Say probably the mattress on

Christal: 0:20

the floor.

Lennon: 0:23

This is the Home and Marriage Podcast with Lennon and Christal Noland, where we help couples become better at home and stronger together. We are husband and wife, parents and ministers who want God's best for our home and for yours. Well, friends, welcome back to the show. So glad that you're with us today here in this late October afternoon whenever we are recording this today, and my boo over there is sitting there with one of her new fall pumpkin mugs, and you look so proud.

Christal: 0:55

I told you I was gonna get one, and yes, I did. They're, I got a pumpkin mug and these are only $5 at Target.

Lennon: 1:04

Nice.

Christal: 1:04

But they look really cute on our, mug tree And they look very fallish and the kids were all about it, and they, they were happy too.

Lennon: 1:11

Well, I'm just looking forward to after fall, to see where in the world they're gonna go. Where will they be stored?

Christal: 1:17

I will tell you Lennon because I have a plastic container in the garage labeled fall decor, and they will go in there. So we will have plenty of room. Do not fear. We have plenty of room for, for all of these things.

Lennon: 1:32

Okay. Okay. Well, hey, we just had quite an interesting, uh, weekend. It was a good one. But we were apart. Yeah, I was in Houston speaking at a friend's great church Faith Church. You were here holding down the household with the kids and y'all had a good time, right?

Christal: 1:47

Yeah, we did. We had a great time together. We, we did a movie night, we had homemade Zuppa Toscana, the soup that we love from Olive Garden. We do our own homemade version Yeah. Of that. We had some treats and snacks. So it was a really fun night. I, I really did enjoy just hanging out with them and I, I kind of take advantage of those opportunities when you're gone. To do some special things with the kids or do some things that we don't normally do as well.

Lennon: 2:14

I think it's fun that, as kids get older, the different family traditions can become kind of cringe to them. Mm-hmm. But even our teenagers now are still down for a good movie night and we're always down for Zuppa Toscana, which I think, in my humble opinion, you actually do better than Olive Garden.

Christal: 2:31

Ooh, thank you. It's true. Thank you. Well, I really do love to cook. For our family, we have our favorite recipes. I know that their families out there have their things. They always do maybe like once a month, once a week even. We do red beans and rice. That's one of their favorites. Every kid has their favorite thing that we do, but we are in the time of the year in October where the soup thing becomes. Fun to do because it's that cooler weather or cooler nights. We actually are experiencing some cooler nights now.

Lennon: 3:01

It's happening, so

Christal: 3:02

it's a good, it's a good time for soups and chilies and things like that.

Lennon: 3:06

Yeah. So watch me create this bridge from soups and chilies. I think you're, you're a master

Christal: 3:11

at this.

Lennon: 3:11

Well, you're talking about different traditions, right? Yes, and there's nothing more traditional than the traditional marriage vows. That so many of us say whenever we are married on our wedding day, I know sometimes we create our own vows. That's not unheard of, but there's something special I think about those for better or worse, traditional vows that we're also familiar with.

Christal: 3:35

And you've done a lot of weddings, so you've led a lot of couples into these vows. And, being a pastor's wife, I got to hear a lot of them as well. So I, I think they never get old. I, I really do. I think the hearing the vows again, every time you go to a wedding, it's refreshing to your own marriage because it helps you remember what you. Committed to.

Lennon: 3:57

Yeah. I think here's the, here's how I've always thought about it, that the first time we said them, we meant it.

Christal: 4:05

Yeah.

Lennon: 4:05

But about seven years in, we did a, a vow renewal and it was just kind of a hitting a reset button after a really tough season of life and really tough season of marriage. In the first time we set our vows, of course we meant it with all our heart. But the second time we set our vows, I feel like we kind of understood them.

Christal: 4:25

Yeah. Which

Lennon: 4:25

was a different ball game for me.

Christal: 4:27

Yeah. A A lot of your couples don't do it that soon, but you really. Surprise me with, with this whole setup you had our chapel that we got married in, reserved for that night, and then you let me know what we were gonna do and I was completely taken aback really, because I, I really didn't expect you to do something like that. Because we'd only been married seven years, but honestly it was because we had just gone through a pretty difficult season, like you said, and, I feel like our marriage stayed strong, but our life was crazy and all the outward stuff that was happening, all the inward stuff that was happening in that season of life, it really can shake a marriage. I'm thankful we stay committed to one another, but I feel like renewing those vows helped us, like you said, know what the vows really meant.

Lennon: 5:18

Yes. And so here's what we're gonna do today. We're gonna go through, kind of some talking points that we used as the basis of closing out a, a small conference we did recently for a group of. Married couples that were in tough places. And so we closed with a message called For better or worse, from this day forward. Mm-hmm. From this day forward. And in that we took a look at these vows and you and I just went through and took a fresh look at them and told couples that. A lot of times what we dreamed about going into a marriage goes out the window pretty quickly. It, it could be because we make some mistakes or because something unexpected happens to us, but that's whenever vows can be tested and proven. And also the, uh, stability of our love with the help of God can really shine more in tough times than just in the perfect moments. Whenever we first say these, I dos.

Christal: 6:17

Okay. Well let's, why don't we read through these vows just to give everybody out there listening a refresher on what they say. So the traditional vows do say, I Christal take you Lennon to be my wedded husband. You would say wife, right. To having to hold from this day forward for better or worse, for richer or poor and sickness and in health. To love and to cherish until we are parted by death.

Lennon: 6:46

Those are great. And they're, and they're actually very, very intense. Yeah. As you look at them printed out, it's kinda like, I am really promising big things here. Mm-hmm. And it's very important that to acknowledge that the, these vows are made before God, but they're also intended to be made with. God's help to walk it out. And so the teaching we did at this conference really emphasized whatever it's been to this point, we are talking from this day forward. And so for our friends, you listening today, wherever your marriage is at this point, you could walk out. The vows better from this day forward because that's how God is.

Christal: 7:28

Yeah. We have a from this day forward. God, that's the kind of God that we serve, and our God is a God of second chances. He's a God of third and fourth and fifth chances, right? I mean, he really delights in giving us another chance when we come to him. He loves for us to come to him and say, God, I, I just need to start over. Pretty much every. Famous person in the Bible has had more than one chance. I mean, you look at Jacob's life, Jacob, he was a liar. He was a deceiver, and God gave him another chance and, and then Moses, I mean, Moses, goodness, like he had so many chances, he, he really messed up at times. Right.

Lennon: 8:05

Killed a guy, buried him in the sand. Mm-hmm. All sorts of things.

Christal: 8:10

Yeah. Peter. Think of a New Testament character. Peter was someone who followed Jesus every day, listened to every message, and then ended up denying him,

Lennon: 8:19

right. And

Christal: 8:19

cutting off a guy's ear too. But Jesus gave him another chance. And so God is really a God of grace and mercy more than we could even imagine. And some people may, may be listening are in that, place right now where they really do need a start over with the Lord in their marriage. It's kind of like when you're the one that washes the clothes in the house, you tend to see all the stains, and I have a few tricks up my sleeve, that can get the stains out. Every now and then though, there will be some remnant of a stain left that isn't bad enough to throw the shirt away, but. You can slightly see it there but here's how a good God is. I mean, he, he's a God who can get any stain out and make it widest snow. There's no remnant of the stain left isaiah chapter, one 18 says that though your sins are scarlet, they will be as white as snow. Though though they are crimson red, they will be like wool. So that's how great God is and how much he can restore, renew us.

Lennon: 9:24

And we can let that grace and that restoration affect us from this day forward.

Christal: 9:28

Yeah.

Lennon: 9:28

So let's look at it. Let's look at these vows from this day forward. And the first thing we commit to is to have and to hold. And almost at at most weddings, the passages read from Genesis. This one at last is bone of my bone, flesh of my Flesh. This one will be called Woman for. She was taken from Man, and scripture goes on and says, the two will become one flesh if we in our marriage are going to. Take advantage of everything we promise, whenever we have and hold. It really does need to be embracing that it is no longer just me seeking to build a life and needing to have my own way that I need you with me, and whatever we face, we've gotta, we've gotta do it. We've gotta do it together and we've gotta hold on to one another because we can't just be two individuals seeking to live our lives, but we happen to share a home and a bed.

Christal: 10:27

I think the way that's said is really special to hold. I love that because we, like you're saying, we have one another close by to be together through thick and thin, any storm, that image of, to hold one another, not just to have, not just that, okay. We're, we're joined by a piece of paper by document, legally, but we also have one another and can hold onto one another

Lennon: 10:52

That's great. And then it goes on and the next thing we promise is for better or worse, to having to hold, but to do so for better or for worse. And I love the scripture and Ecclesiastes, I've shared this with so many young adults in love, you know, at the altar making their vows together. Where Ecclesiastes says that two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. If either falls, his companion can lift them up, but pity to the one who falls without another to lift them up and always remind the couple that the privilege of having one another for better or worse, is that you will never face anything in your life from this day forward alone. You'll always have each other. And here's the thing about, for better or worse, this is the part that we don't really believe is ever gonna come whenever we make our vows, because it's, the old joke is bad times with them are better than good times with someone else. And that's true ish. But we have no idea how bad, bad can be. And how, for worse can be.

Christal: 11:59

Yeah. Because when we get married, I mean, you think about your wedding day, you're only thinking of the good things that's gonna happen together. You don't think of like, what could happen, thank the lord. Like he doesn't show us all the things ahead. Um, oh no. In our lives that, that we're gonna face, we just couldn't handle that. We could not. Grasp that mentally, look what I'm gonna go through one day. But he, he is gracious to get us through each day, day by day. And I think that commitment that we make at the beginning, and that's what we're saying, no matter what comes, we're gonna get through it, but yeah, you do not think about that on your wedding day.

Lennon: 12:34

And for worse, can look a lot of different ways. For worse can look like cancer. Mm-hmm. For worse. Can look like, financial devastation for worse can look like one of you doing something you never thought they would do. But it can also look like one of your kids suffering in a way you never thought they would suffer. And whatever. For worse, it looks like you could just know it's gonna come. Don't be surprised by it and it doesn't mean your marriage is over. And this is where the writer of Ecclesiastes, says something wonderful. If someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. And then this wonderful truth, A cord of three strands is not easily broken. And that third strand in our marriage, it's gotta be, it's gotta be the Holy Spirit. It's gotta be God at work in us. And with him. We really can, we can hold on and we can bear any tension without breaking,

Christal: 13:28

That's right.

Lennon: 13:29

So from this day forward, we're gonna have and hold one another. From this day forward, we're gonna be, we're gonna be better at, for better or worse. And then from this day forward, we also want to handle for richer or poorer, better.

Christal: 13:44

Yeah. I remember when we first got engaged, we had this conversation on the phone one night. I'm sure you remember, and you said to me now you know how I make my living right. How I, how I make money. And I was like, I don't really know, you know? But you said you fundraised your salary 'cause you were a campus missionary. Uh huh. And so you had to raise your, uh, support for each month.

Lennon: 14:09

You were probably wondering, where does all this guy's money come from? All these stacks of cash.

Christal: 14:14

Well, I knew you didn't have a lot of money. That was, that was, uh, obvious,

Lennon: 14:17

oh, what, what, okay. What made that obvious? Was it. Let's see. Was it whenever you visited the house? I shared with roommates for the first time. Was it the fact that I had clothes folded on a dollar store bookshelf instead of in drawers, which I didn't own any drawers. Was it my mattress that was on the floor instead of on a bed? Say probably the mattress on

Christal: 14:39

the floor. But yeah, I mean, I knew this guy wasn't rich, but I did know you were a hard worker. You're a faithful guy. You had a. A good head on your shoulders. I, I wasn't worried about our future and at the time I was just so in love with you that I'm just like, oh, however you make it is fine with me. You know? And so I don't know if I talk like that. That was kind of a weird voice. But anyways, if you talk

Lennon: 15:04

like that, we might not be married. I

Christal: 15:08

dunno where that voice came from. But, you know, after being married, 19 years, we've, we've had our fair share of financial blessings. That we've been provided for in amazing ways, and we've seen the Lord provide a home for us. We have a wonderful home that we never would've thought we could have had. And then we've had some hardships. We've had times where we got hit, with bills that we didn't foresee medical things or. Whatever it was, we've, we've been hit with surprises as well and we've seen the Lord stay faithful and I think that right there for richer for poor, it's really about where does your trust lie? I know for you, You've been a great provider, you've worked hard for our family. But it goes beyond just that, right? We wanna have good financial, decisions that we make, but we have a God that we can trust in more than anything. I think that's how we get through for richer or poor is keeping our faith in God and our trust in him. Because what if we have an abundance of money? I mean, that could go the wrong way as well, right? The love of money could cause you to have some marital issues as well.

Lennon: 16:24

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Christal: 18:34

We're all gonna go through trials of a hardship or abundance, it's what we do with that and is our love gonna be shaken? Because we're going through a hard time

Lennon: 18:44

And then the next part of the vows is in sickness and in health. And so from this day forward, we want to handle sickness and health well. And really something that I think we far too often take for granted is the health of our spouse ourselves or our kids. If you think about it, any of you listening to this podcast, when was the last time you were glad that your ears were functioning well? We take things that are going well for granted. That's just kind of how we are. But things that are going well are matters of, of gratitude to God. So that, uh, whenever we're going through sickness, it's also second nature to turn to God because the thing about these bodies, we are at our physical peak whenever we get married, usually, I mean, sometimes we get in better shape later in life, but what I am saying is that inevitably posture is gonna slip, hair is gonna get thinner. There may be a diagnosis that surprises you, or it could be that someone in your family goes through sickness to do in sickness and health. Well, we've gotta rejoice with each other when rejoicing is, is there, we've gotta slow down and weep or limp when the one we love is, is weeping or limping. We've gotta love, well, in sickness and in health.

Christal: 20:13

Yeah, I love to see like those, sometimes you'll see 'em on Instagram or Facebook, like the pictures or videos of two old people walking side by side, holding hands, and they're still in love. Or maybe you have one that's a little bit less capable or in a wheelchair and the other one's taking care of them. That to me, when I see those pictures, it just shows the ultimate love,, long lasting love. And that's what I always aspire to is to, to have that kind of love that we take care of one another even into our old age. Because what if one of you is in a position where you can't really take good care of yourself? And so I think that's really important that you have the kind of love that no matter what they go through or what you go through, you're gonna stay committed to them. And

Lennon: 20:58

love

Christal: 20:58

them.

Lennon: 20:59

Yeah. That's fantastic. And, and true. So in sickness and in health. And then the next part of those vows that you talked about at the conference was to love and to cherish that. From this day forward, I will love and cherish you.

Christal: 21:13

Yeah. Let's talk first about the love part. I think those are two really different words. They, they do a lot of the same thing, loving one another is really not about. Just emotions and feelings, and I know we've talked to teenagers about this before, how real committed love is more than just the way you feel because feelings are gonna come and go and you even hear couples that talk about, I just feel like i'm not in love with them anymore. There's gonna be days where you're not feeling it, or you might have seasons where you go through a stressful time and I don't feel the in love feelings is gonna happen,

Lennon: 21:52

Yeah. the characteristics of love that are so wonderfully spelled out in like one Corinthians 13, love is patient, kind, all these things, none of those we've often pointed out are about how love feels. They are all about what love does, or what love does does not do. So the loving is incredibly important. And then the cherishing aspect, I, I feel like. So many of us as guys need some sort of review from our brides as to what it, what it looks like to make you feel cherished. Hmm.

Christal: 22:28

When I think of the word cherished, I think of taking care of something really precious and maybe not even just fragile. Almost like you handle it, like it's a fragile thing. You take great care of it. I, I used to hide these like glass. I collected these bloke glass figurines when I was a kid. Mm-hmm. Do you remember those things? Um, I, they were like, they were like. They were, um, usually sold at sometimes theme parks or little stores. I remember getting one at Walt Disney World and I took care of those, my collection of blow glass, like, sorry, I took care of my collection of blow glass very carefully. I would dust them. You know, very, very carefully and display them and they were just so special to me, and I really think that's a good way of thinking how to cherish one another. I know I feel cherished when you. Uh, remember date night and you might do something special. One, one night you're like, let's go to this restaurant that you've been wanting to go to. Kind of a surprise, like, those kind of things make me think. You, you were thinking of the details and you're trying to take care of me in a special way.

Lennon: 23:39

Yeah.

Christal: 23:39

So,

Lennon: 23:41

and guys would never, I don't know if it, I have yet to meet a man who. Has ever said the words, I just don't really feel cherished by her. Like, that may not be the, the word we use, but the sentiment, we still get it. We want to feel like we are special to our brides. And the way I think of this with, with men is, uh, you know, if you've ever seen an old classic car or truck that was meticulously maintained by some, by some old man who's driving around a truck from 1973. And you know, it was great coming off the lot, but what's clear is he has never stopped taking care of it. Mm. And that's also how we have to be with, with our marriage. We all have a lot of options. Divorce is normalized in that, in this culture, if you wanted to be done with me and all of my eccentricities and all of my issues, you could do that and find a younger, newer model. But that's not what we do in marriage. Marriage. But that's not what we do in marriage. We love and we cherish this one that we have.

Christal: 24:49

I do wanna know from a guy's perspective. How would you feel cherished? How would you feel like you were really loved by your wife? What are some examples of that

Lennon: 25:00

to, to me, specifically with you and I not, not really being able to speak for all men, but at least how this man functions is. You know, my love language is acts of service, but when you do things for me, like yesterday, I'd been outta town speaking for the, for the weekend. Last night when I was getting my clothes out to take the girls to school this morning, I noticed my socks, I had, I had white socks. Like, oh, I need white socks. They were in, they were in the drawer whenever I got home yesterday. Uh, the. The pillows were nice on the couch. The floor was clean, and I realized that that didn't just happen. Like you put in some, you put in some real labor to make it to where I could come home and you know, I also appreciate cleanliness and all that kind of stuff. That's where I feel cherished because I know you're doing those things for me because that resonates with me.

Christal: 25:58

Yeah. And one thing we've talked about before, and a lot we've heard from a lot of men, and I think this is written in books, of course, I, I know there's that love and respect book. There's a lot that's been talked about this, but just a good reminder, the, the way that you've told me before. Men tend to feel loved is the way we respect and talk to you. The way we, yeah, we, um, as wives, we don't become like a nagging wife. We don't. We just, we just with our words or our actions, show you respect in a way of like, I value what you do. Thank you for doing what you do. Or, honey, you preached an amazing sermon today. Like, I loved hearing your sermon, what you said. And so those things, I feel like that respect aspect is really important for men. And, and we know that just from research, but what do you, what do you think about that?

Lennon: 26:52

Yeah. Those kind of things make me feel, feel those kind of things make me feel special to you. Yeah. And it, it says that I impact you in a positive way and, and I want to do that. And so yeah. That's, that is, that's a big way that men feel cherished.

Christal: 27:10

All right, so for our last. All right, so for our last point, it's from this day forward until we are parted by death. So I dunno what to say about

Lennon: 27:28

that until we are parted by death.

Christal: 27:30

Until we are parted by death.

Lennon: 27:32

Yeah, that's how, that's how we'll we'll end this thing, just with the encouragement of my friends. This is a lifelong endeavor. The finish line is whenever we hopefully, um, die together in bed peacefully. Notebook style. Having gone to bed the night before you, I surprised you for that,

Christal: 27:56

making me cringe. You remember the movie, the

Lennon: 27:58

Notebook? Yes. Whenever the, the old man lays down beside his wife in the hospital bed. Yes. And they just, they just gently die together. Yes. Well, very few people are fortunate enough to have that Right. But let's do remember that we are bound to one another as long as we. Are living. And as a pastor, I've done so many funerals where one spouse has, has, um, had to say goodbye to the other. And I always hope that that woman or that man who is still living feel some sort of degree of the pleasure of the Lord that I assume it wasn't always easy because no marriage is, but if you're with them to their death or yours, you did it. A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. Paul says, and same for a man. Stick this out until the end. Let your kids see parents that never let go of each other. If you've been divorced before, may that be your last one. This time, this one. From this day forward, you're gonna love them until you are parted by death.

Christal: 29:04

That is so good. So that is how we're going to end today, friends, and we want to remind you not to forget to follow or subscribe, so you never miss an episode. We drop new ones every Tuesday. If today's conversation encouraged you, would you take a minute and leave a review? It really helps more people find the show and join our community. You can visit home marriage.com for more resources like our Six Habits of Happy Couples Course, and if you'd like us to come speak at your church or event. You can schedule us through our website. You can also fall along on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok. All of the links are in the show notes.

Lennon: 29:46

So that's it. Thank you for joining us on the Home and Marriage Podcast. We really do believe that your home can be your favorite place. We'll be back again next week with more encouragement and wisdom to help you become better at home and stronger together.