Having Fun In Marriage: It Matters More Than You Think

The Importance of Having Fun Together in Marriage

In this episode of the Home and Marriage podcast, Lennon and Christal Noland share their experiences and lessons learned from a recent garage sale and highlight the importance of having fun with your spouse. They discuss creative date ideas, the significance of laughter and play in a relationship, and how to keep the spark alive through various stages of marriage. The Nolands also provide practical suggestions for date activities that don't require a big budget, and conclude with reflections on how their relationship has evolved over the years. They emphasize the need for couples to prioritize each other and enjoy shared experiences, ultimately aiming to build stronger, more joyful marriages.

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview
00:51 The Garage Sale Adventure
04:47 Ministry and Conflict in Marriage
06:22 The Importance of Having Fun with Your Spouse
09:56 Creative and Budget-Friendly Date Ideas
19:36 Introduction to the Six Habits of Happy Couples Course
20:02 Special Offer for Podcast Listeners
20:27 Date Ideas and Fun Activities
22:26 The Importance of Shared Hobbies
24:36 Memorable Road Trips and Experiences
26:24 Planning and Dreaming Together
32:38 Reflecting on Changes in Marriage
36:13 The Necessity of Fun in Marriage
37:05 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Christal: 0:01

I, I just don't know where that came from, but I thought, yeah, we could hit that goal so

Lennon: 0:06

well, it was a good goal. Hey, we're gonna make lots of money, but. It turns out, oh, guys, if y'all could be live with us in the worldwide studios of home and marriage right now, my bride is over there with tears in her eyes.

Christal: 0:21

No, this is what happens when I can't stop laughing hard. Okay, let's, let's get it together here.

Lennon: 0:30

This is the Home and Marriage podcast with Lennon and Christal Noland, where we help couples become better at home and stronger together. We are husband and wife, parents and ministers who want God's best for our home and for yours. Well, hello friends, wherever you are and whatever you're doing. Thanks for joining us again. We are coming off the weekend that will forever in infamy, be known as the weekend of the garage sale 2025.

Christal: 1:01

Yes. Lennon, we did have a garage sale this weekend and I had high hopes for it. I was, I was really thinking I mean, this is how I am. You know, me, I tend to, to plan for something and really think it's gonna go that exact way. Yeah. You know, so we set up for this yard sale. We've got all of our tables of amazing things. I think, wow, look at all these great things we had to sell that we no longer want,

Lennon: 1:28

and what a great time to do it too, because we're going into. The holidays. Yeah. Christmas budget is always above and beyond whatever else you had budgeted for the month. And so yeah, we're like, we could do mm-hmm. With several hundred or a thousand extra dollars to go and buy. I mean, what was your, what was your blowout goal for the day? You had a dollar, you had a dollar amount of money. I had

Christal: 1:53

a dollar amount that I was like, there's, we could totally hit this, this number, and it was$800. I dunno why. I don't know where I got that number.

Lennon: 2:04

You were dreaming big. Shoot for the stars. Shoot for the moon. That's the saying. Even if you miss, you might land among the stars.

Christal: 2:13

Sorry I can't stop laughing, but I mean, I'm laughing over here so hard, I'm crying. But anyways, I, I just don't know where that came from, but I thought, yeah, we could hit that goal so

Lennon: 2:24

well, it was a good goal. Hey, we're gonna make lots of money, but. It turns out, oh, guys, if y'all could be live with us in the worldwide studios of home and marriage right now, my bride is over there with tears in her eyes.

Christal: 2:40

No, this is what happens when I can't stop laughing hard. Okay, let's, let's get it together here.

Lennon: 2:44

So we didn't make$800.

Christal: 2:46

So we made what

Lennon: 2:47

drum roll can we put in a drum roll effect? Right. Maybe that's too fancy for us. I'll try. Okay,

Christal: 2:52

so we made a total of$210,

Lennon: 2:58

$210.

Christal: 3:01

Oh. But you know, it's okay. I told Lizzie, my, one of my daughters who was helping, she was, We put blood, sweat, and tears into this yard cell. So

Lennon: 3:11

many hours of preparation. Right?

Christal: 3:14

And, and she was even like, well, it's okay. At least we got rid of a lot of. Stuff, right? We cleaned out our house. I was like, yeah, that's the bright side. We really got. A lot of junk out of the house, like And that's

Lennon: 3:27

because at the end of the day, yeah, with the, all the stuff that we didn't sell, a lot of it we were not bringing back in the house. You loaded it into the expedition. Oh yes. And you drove it straight to the Salvation Army.

Christal: 3:40

I loaded that Big O Expedition down with boxes and of all kinds of stuff, went to the Salvation Army and did feel a lot lighter after those things were gone. So. This is kind of something we, we did, even as when the kids were little, we would go through their toys, we'd get their old toys out, or their broken toys or stuff they didn't play with, and we'd get it out of the house because Christmas comes and grandparents tend to give a ton of things, right? Mm-hmm. And so we would just do kind of a purge, and that's really what we did this weekend. So, you know. Even though we didn't make all that cash that we thought we would out of this garage sale, we still got rid of a lot of things. Our house is cleaner, our closets are cleaner. No more clutter. So that's a bonus.

Lennon: 4:28

And listen, I told you this in person and I mean it, I love you so much for how hard you worked and everything that you, everything that you set out to do for our family. It was just a display of. Of what I love about you.

Christal: 4:42

Well, thanks.

Lennon: 4:43

So$210,$800. I couldn't love you more either way. We also had a great weekend we did of ministry on Sunday. Oh, we did. We, we were invited to minister at Hill City Church in Cedar Hill, Texas. Uh, pastors Adam and Jamie McCain jump in on their family series. And they asked me to talk about conflict in marriage, and we had the most fantastic day over there.

Christal: 5:05

It was a wonderful day, a ministry. You spoke on conflict and that is such a good message to hear, and even just listening to this message, which I've heard you speak on before. Hearing it again, man, the, the heaviness in the room for a little while because it's stuff that every couple deals with. We all go through conflict and sometimes we're right in the middle of conflict when we're hearing this message. And so I really thought it was so helpful because not only did you get real about that, but you, you also gave some very practical, biblical, things to do in conflict that I think were very helpful. At the same time gave couples hope that there is hope for their marriage if even if they are going through a lot of conflict right now.

Lennon: 5:50

And there really is a lot of hope. And every time we do this stuff, it's just a reminder of. Why we do this stuff and why we've given ourselves to this type of ministry. There's such a need for it. And, friends, If you would like to have us come to your church or your company to do a seminar retreat or something like that to make people better at home and stronger together, go to home and marriage.com for that and it's all there.

Christal: 6:17

Well, Lennon, we've had like so much fun and laughing already in this podcast,

Lennon: 6:21

uhhuh.

Christal: 6:22

So today we're gonna talk about how to have fun with your spouse. Right? Okay.

Lennon: 6:28

Yeah. Fun is incredibly important and sometimes whenever you're going through some of the downs of marriage, you can be so frustrated with one another That you, you don't see the things that you love about each other. Yeah. Or as marriage goes on, you are in survival mode.

Christal: 6:46

Yeah.

Lennon: 6:47

You're covered up with obligations. Places to be, things to do, just to get by and fun can really go out the window.

Christal: 6:55

That's so true, and especially when you go through those serious intense moments. Maybe something's happened in your family, maybe something's happened in your marriage, or you had a job change or, your job isn't going well. Sometimes you just get stuck in that mode of just getting through, like you said, survival mode and you just don't think about how can we enjoy one another right now, you know?

Lennon: 7:18

Yeah. Every couple needs emotional resets. Like we, we always need the ability to come back to recover from the intensity of the grind or those once in a lifetime devastations, um, laughter can reset your spirit in the same way that like a good meal and some rest can reset your body,

Christal: 7:40

right?

Lennon: 7:40

Like your marriage should never be without laughter. And so having fun is what brings that about.

Christal: 7:47

Yeah, that's right. I mean, even just laughing so much about the garage sale just now, like I feel lighter. You gotta laugh, right? Yeah, well, you gotta laugh about situations that don't turn out great.

Lennon: 7:59

Otherwise we were just gonna cry about it. So, no laughing. Laughing. It has a physical effect.

Christal: 8:04

It does. I looked up the word fun and I wanna just define it so our listeners can, can understand what we mean by having fun together. So fun defined is anything that brings enjoyment, playfulness, or lighthearted pleasure. It's not pressure filled. It's something that makes you happy, entertained, or excited.

Lennon: 8:26

I think that's great. Yeah. In something that does it for. You. I love that. In the definition. It doesn't outline fun is going on a bike ride. Yeah. Fun is having a game night with your friends because the same things are not fun for everybody.

Christal: 8:41

That's right. And just you saying game night. I mean, I love games, but you are not a game person. We have had many times where my family will come over with a bunch of board games. And I will totally get involved in play. But your preference is to To either do the dishes Yep. Surprisingly, or sit and watch us have fun with while you're drinking a cup of coffee.

Lennon: 9:06

Yeah. Well we have Thanksgiving coming up here this next week. Yeah. And that will be it. It's sort of understood at this point. Mm-hmm. We are all gonna play some game. Lennon's gonna go into the kitchen, but it's a good trade off. Right. I'm like, guys, you will not have to clean this up. I will do it. As long as you don't make me sit down and play risk or monopoly.

Christal: 9:26

Oh yeah. Those are, those are intense ones too. Yeah. That would be devastating for you.

Lennon: 9:31

Yeah,

Christal: 9:31

but, another way to think about this, when we're talking about couples having fun, that's like a whole other thing because I know we know some couples, they have fun in one particular way that it would not be fun for us. Right. We have our own things that make that, that are fun, that we love to do. Right.

Lennon: 9:50

So one couple's fun is not another couple's fun, but having fun is important. And so one of the things that's important to keep in mind whenever you're saying this is that having fun does not have to require having a big budget.

Christal: 10:06

That's right. I think it's a myth that fun requires money. I mean, sure money's gonna definitely open up. Bigger experiences in some way.

Lennon: 10:16

Having money is fun.

Christal: 10:17

That's not a bad thing, but I want couples to know that. It doesn't mean that you need a lot of money to have fun. You can have fun in so many ways as a couple. And the importance of this is that you do have fun and you, you do something together.

Lennon: 10:34

One of the most legendary date nights we've ever had, we talk about it all the time, is still the front porch picnic we had whenever our children were all three, three and under, and we did not have much money, but we picked up some food and brought it back to the house. We couldn't afford a babysitter. We weren't going anywhere, but we sat out on the front porch, put the baby monitor on the swing, put food on top of a plastic crate. And made a table and we had a great time.

Christal: 11:04

Yeah, and I think what was great about that night was that we got creative and I think that's something that if you can just get a little creative at times when you don't have a lot of money to spend mm-hmm. You can really make a regular date night into something special. And I, I love the fact that we did do some, can, we lit some candles and we put some music on. Yeah. I mean, just set the atmosphere and it was just. It was just wonderful being together in, in a different way.

Lennon: 11:32

Yeah. The effort is the most important things. Mm-hmm. And sometimes it takes an effort just to get out of the rut. Yeah. That we can be in, because the hardest people have said this before, the hardest thing about life is that it's daily. And there's so many obligations each day that you can feel like you're living in Groundhog Day. Yeah. Like it's rinse and repeat responsibility work. Not a lot of room for laughter in there. So routines are good, but they can become ruts.

Christal: 12:00

That's true. And I, I think we need to recognize when we are in a rut or maybe, you know, talk together and say, Hey, have you, have you been good with our date nights? Do you wanna do something different? Maybe it's time we do something out of the ordinary.

Lennon: 12:16

Yeah, because one of our date night preferences right now in this era where our kids are going different ways, basketball at the moment takes up almost every night of the week. Yeah. With practice or a game. And then there's church on Wednesday nights and so frequently our date night of choice, by the time we get to Friday evening or whenever we do it is charcuterie board and Apple tv. Yeah. Just the, the finest meats and cheeses Aldi has to offer. And we just don't want to go anywhere or do anything.

Christal: 12:48

Mm-hmm.

Lennon: 12:48

But week after week of that and is gonna begin to feel like we're not trying

Christal: 12:53

Exactly. We can't do that all the time because I do feel like we do it for several weeks in a row. It, it's feels. It doesn't feel as special, you know?

Lennon: 13:04

Yeah.

Christal: 13:05

Even though we love it. Yeah. But we don't wanna do it all the time.

Lennon: 13:07

Yeah.

Christal: 13:08

So, yeah. So we wanna have fun and do something different on purpose. And we've done this before and I feel like a couple of things that. The, one of the biggest things that comes to my mind that we did different that we've, we loved was going to the Fort Worth Orchestra one night. Yes. Getting kind of dressed up and having dinner out, and of course, that kind of a date. Takes more planning, takes more saving of money. And so that, that specific one was a little more special, but it was something we, we planned and we looked forward to. And it was a, it was such a wonderful night. I loved it.

Lennon: 13:45

You can't leave Important things up to spontaneity. Sometimes if you want to have fun, you, you've gotta lean into it and, and put some thought into it. But yeah, that was a wonderful night. We Ubered from the hotel. Just a little ways because you know me, I hate driving in big cities.

Christal: 14:00

Yep.

Lennon: 14:00

And so we ubered over to it, but we had a fantastic time and we've never forgotten it.

Christal: 14:04

Yeah.

Lennon: 14:05

Coming into this, both of us had thought about that specific date mm-hmm. As something that it was so much fun and we'll never forget it. So let's just throw out some suggestions here. Some really practical ways to have fun together. So if you're listening and you haven't had a date night since the Gulf War, or you're, you're just feeling like you are in a rut, uh, we're gonna throw out some ideas of practical ways to have fun together. And if these aren't your thing, they may jog something in your mind that is,

Christal: 14:33

yeah. So first of all, one idea is just try a new restaurant. Maybe there's a restaurant that in your town or that's somewhere near you that you thought, Hey, we need to try this place. We've been talking about it forever. Why don't we just go try it?

Lennon: 14:47

Yeah. It gives you new stories and something new to laugh about. Yeah, that's a big deal. One of the little things. That's a pretty easy win. Also, uh, start a fire out in your backyard. Get a little cheap fire pit from Walmart or something like that. Fire makes a lot of things at least in the eyes of a man. Fire. Fire is always fun too. A guy.

Christal: 15:08

It is, right? And I mean, I love fire too, but, But this is especially fun in the season that we're in right now because we're approaching those colder nights. It's a great little atmosphere to be outside with a little, you know, fire and some hot cocoa. Like Yeah, and just to, and just talking like, I think that's special. It's kind of the out of the ordinary that wouldn't even require a babysitter or very much on money. So I think that's a great. Money saving date, that would be different.

Lennon: 15:36

Yeah, certainly. So there's also sometimes changing up the timing of your dates go out in the day. Yes, yes. Instead of at night, which whenever you're in parent mode, you have sometimes so much more energy while the sun is still up earlier in the day. By the way, that makes you know what I'm about to say, don't you? I

Christal: 15:55

do. I know how your mind thinks.

Lennon: 15:57

Yeah. By the way, that makes sex much more. Um. Uh, I suppose likely to happen if you don't get home late and you're both already wiped out. Do we sound like we're in our mid forties with teenagers or what?

Christal: 16:13

Yeah. No. Right. We're not gonna tell people we're in our mid forties, but yes,

Lennon: 16:18

that's right.

Christal: 16:19

Okay, so yeah, that's a great idea. Do a day date. You could go hiking in the day. Maybe that's something you and your your spouse loves to do. Go visit a museum. Maybe have a picnic together. We've done this. We had a beautiful picnic once when we were, visiting your dad and Tyler, and the kids hung out with him and we went on a date. Out in a beautiful park and that was really fun and very memorable. Just, it was just something we didn't normally do.

Lennon: 16:47

Yeah, we went to the grocery store. We got a few things, and we really did have a great time. Do you remember who our dinner guest was and why that was so funny that night?

Christal: 16:58

It was a squirrel and a very male squirrel.

Lennon: 17:01

A very, very male is right to say this creature was anatomically gifted is, uh, is an understatement. So we'll leave that there.

Christal: 17:11

That just made, I think it was just something that made us laugh on the date and did, did we feed it something? It was very friendly and very, it would come into people. Oh yeah. Really easily. So we fed it. Yeah.

Lennon: 17:20

It's like he was storing his food somewhere other than his stomach. Oh no.

Christal: 17:27

Oh, okay. So, yeah, do something different. Have a picnic. Um, I put on here, dress up one night just for fun. And so I don't know if this is fun for everyone. And of course, again, these are just suggestions for having a date that's different. Some of these may not sound like any fun to you, but I think, um, sometimes it's nice to get a little more dressed up than normal. That doesn't mean you have to go to an expensive restaurant, but maybe you go to a restaurant that. You wouldn't look crazy if you're more dressed up. Yeah. You can take more of an effort of like, I'm gonna wear this dress, I've had this dress in my closet forever for a date, and I never put it on. So maybe making that effort for me, doing something different like that makes me feel just more beautiful or just different. I don't know. It, it works for some people

Lennon: 18:16

and that's something that I think as, as a man that I need to lean into for. You because for me, comfort might be maximum thing. But for you, you like to see me button up a shirt every once in a while.

Christal: 18:30

Every once in a while. Maybe

Lennon: 18:31

iron it.

Christal: 18:32

Yeah. It's not a all the time thing. Even for me, I mean sometimes it is kind of nice to think I could just go out in this date in these like soft pants in my, my slip-on shoes. So it's not like all the time that would get exhausting. But I think it's something like just doing that little extra effort thing. It makes it more fun.

Lennon: 18:52

Yeah. So there's a question here you put in, in our notes, and I'm excited to interact on this and you asked this, what is the date you've always wanted to try? So we haven't talked about this in advance, can Can you go first? It was your question. Okay. But can you go first?

Christal: 19:07

Yeah.

Lennon: 19:09

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Christal: 20:27

So the first thing that came to my mind is something we did on our honeymoon, but we've never done for a date. And that for me would be horseback riding.

Lennon: 20:38

Oh yeah. Yeah.

Christal: 20:39

So that would require a day date, right? You don't go horseback riding at night. But I think it would be fun because there's a lot of places, even where we live, but anyways, yeah. I would love to go ride horses with you because when that kind of thing happens, I think it brings out the laughter,'cause there's always funny things that happen in those situations. Yes. But for me, and I know you enjoyed it on our honeymoon, I don't know how you feel now. I'd be curious to know how you'd feel now about horseback riding.

Lennon: 21:06

I would totally do it again. And what you said funny things come out. Of funny situations. One of the things I remember from our honeymoon is we were riding with a group and ride in front of me. A horse just reaches over and bites a guy next to him on the leg.

Christal: 21:22

Oh, the

Lennon: 21:22

guy's riding another horse and one horse just reaches over and just bites him. So I don't want that to happen. But yeah, fun things do happen.

Christal: 21:29

So maybe we do that. What about, what about you? What is a date that you've always wanted to try?

Lennon: 21:34

This is really cliche living in the DFW area, but I've always wanted to have dinner at the, is, I think it's called Reunion Tower in downtown Dallas, the tall tower with a rotating ball. Yep. On top. Mm-hmm. Something about rooftop dining or high level dining. That sounds really fun to me. Wow. And we've never done it.

Christal: 21:55

Wow. I never knew that was something you wanted to do.

Lennon: 21:59

Yeah, so

Christal: 21:59

I think,

Lennon: 22:00

think well maybe next think we're gonna have to figure, figure maybe next time you'll be interested in who I am as a person and ask me questions.

Christal: 22:06

Well, we're gonna have to make that happen'cause that would be fun. So guys, maybe this is something you could ask your spouse today, like what is a date? A place or a date thing that you have always wanted to do, what is something that would be different for us that we, we should do? So I would encourage you to talk to your spouse about it today and figure it out and put on the calendar.

Lennon: 22:25

Yeah. Other things people can do to, to have fun, to shake things up. You can try a new hobby together. Uh, I mean, honestly, I'm just saying that because some couples do it. Having a hobby together is not the kind of thing that sounds fun to me. Mm-hmm. I'm just saying I'm not always a very fun person. Other people are more fun and may enjoy having a hobby together.

Christal: 22:48

You are a fun person. I, I can just think though of some couples I know. I mean, even my parents. They get together with their friends and do game nights. Right. They love that.

Lennon: 22:57

Right.

Christal: 22:58

I know some couples that go play golf together. That is their hobby together and they have fun. Yeah. And it just brings them alive. That is not something I could see us doing. It is like having an actual hobby. Hobby. Yeah. You know, I, I have more hobbies I think than you. You do. You're just not a hobby person.

Lennon: 23:16

I want to be. Yeah. And I'm not.

Christal: 23:18

But your hobby is reading books and drinking coffee.

Lennon: 23:21

That is, and that

Christal: 23:22

is something that you and I enjoy to do together. We do love to read, talk about what we're reading, you know, sharing things, drinking coffee. That is actually something we enjoy doing together.

Lennon: 23:34

We love going to bookstores together. Mm-hmm. So that, that's kind of a thing. Some people, have you heard of those people that love doing escape rooms together?

Christal: 23:42

I have heard of that.

Lennon: 23:43

I wonder if we have any escape room people. Listening.

Christal: 23:46

I bet there's somebody out there that loves that.

Lennon: 23:47

Yeah. Somebody is.

Christal: 23:49

I think I could, I could do the escape room. It's nothing that I've desire to just dive into. But for you, I think it would be a literal nightmare.

Lennon: 23:58

It would be. Mm-hmm. I'd be so frustrated. First of all, I'd be stressed before I went because it just does not sound fun to me. Right. And then the other idea is that. Interacting with people in a competitive fashion to do something kind of puzzley, you know, figuring something out. Oh man, shoot me.

Christal: 24:17

Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. So we want to, we want to laugh together and another way of saying that is just play together. And one thing that I love doing when we've gone is just taking walks together, we have some property behind us and we love to walk out there, take the dogs. It's just a relaxing time and it's fun.

Lennon: 24:36

One of the things that is always good to kinda shake things up is a little road trip, right?

Christal: 24:41

Oh, I love road trips. We do love road trips, don't we?

Lennon: 24:44

We do. And one of our most memorable ones was we were on our way somewhere. And a typically, you know, a hotel is a hotel, you know, get a LaQuinta, get a Marriott something or other. But we came across this really unique hotel on Route 66 that became pretty special to us,

Christal: 25:03

Yeah, that was such a cool find. I don't even remember how we found it, but it was that classic old motel but it was definitely fixed. Like fixed up nice and clean.

Lennon: 25:15

Yeah. It was like It was from the sixties. Yeah, but it had been built a couple of years ago. It was kind of the feel exactly. Everything was well kept up. It was like stepping back in time.

Christal: 25:24

It was. We did that, with our kids on a trip and decided. Right. Is that the order? Yeah.

Lennon: 25:30

The, the first time we did it we're driving on trip and you're just on your phone looking for a place to stay because we're tired. That's right. Yeah. Where can we stop? And we stumbled across this great place.

Christal: 25:40

Yeah. And so when we went on a road trip by ourself, we were actually going to a work event, but we made a, a road trip out of it. And so we were on our way. To California and we decided, let's stop at this motel again. Let's experience that together. And that was so fun. I don't know what it is about just those little things on a road trip that I feel like you get to know each other better. You do laugh, you come across situations that you don't normally on your day in your day-to-day life. And so I think that it's really neat. Ticket to do a little road trip, and it doesn't have to be like that cross country like we did. But just, let's do that and experience a trip together.

Lennon: 26:19

And that's a pretty common thing that people we're talking about, even a smaller trip right there. But a lot of people have some sort of bucket list trip on their, on their heart. And I just want you as, a married person listening to us, hear this from us. Do what you can to make. Those dream things happen, even if it has to be shorter than you would like it. Whatever strategery needs to happen to save and pull things off, you only have one lifetime together. there will never be a perfect time to do things that you've really wanted to do.

Christal: 26:56

Yeah, and I was actually listening to a podcast the other day and the guest on there, and I can't remember his name, maybe I'll put it in the show notes, but he's kind of an expert on. Money and happiness. And one of the things that they had found was that experiences were much higher on the happiness scale. It was much higher rated with experiences versus just buying stuff. and he, he was just really encouraging, like.. If you have money and you're gonna spend it on something that really makes you happy, do it on an experience because those are things that build memories. They build connection. And one of the. Big ones that me and you, I've always wanted to go to the uk And you had also been really interested in going to the uk. Yes.

Lennon: 27:44

Yeah. And we finally got to make that happen. Yeah. Couple of years ago. And, um, it, it came about because of ministry, a missions trip visiting some friends who are giving their lives in missions in, in Scotland. Yeah. And so we. We attached vacation onto the back end of it so that we could find a way to finally make that happen.

Christal: 28:05

Yeah, and that experience is, was so wonderful because I felt like on that trip I got to even see more of who you are. I felt like you knew me better. Um, there's just something that was really beautiful about that trip to me that. Helped us even know each other on a deeper level.

Lennon: 28:25

Yeah. One of the things we got to do in England was, you know, we made a day, we kind of built around this longing. You had to see Jane Austin's home. Mm-hmm. And so I took the kids and you took a solo tour there at that home, and that was really wonderful to see with you because you had been. Reading her books and watching Pride and Prejudice. Yeah. On repeat through our whole marriage. Right. At least once or twice a year. Oh yeah. You're gonna watch Pride and Prejudice. Yes. And so that it was totally worthwhile. I would pay double what we paid for that trip if I would know that I got to see you enjoy yourself the way that I did there. Mm-hmm. It was. Totally worth it.

Christal: 29:05

It was, I was, I'm so glad we made that happen. And we have some things, we have some other trips that are goals. So one day we're gonna do it. So I would say guys, like, I know, I know those things usually require a lot more saving. And we're not rich by any means, so it's not really about that. I think just make a goal, start planning that trip. I think that even just starting to talk about it, say, Hey, what would you wanna do if we did this trip? How would you wanna do it? Where would you wanna go? Just dreaming together is really a fun thing and it helps you have something to look forward to.

Lennon: 29:41

That's true. That's a great point. So bottom line, the ways to have fun are as varied and different as there are personalities of individuals and couples. But fun is important. It is a, it is a, a deeply important thing in your marriage. You would never have married someone that you would've thought to yourself, I will never have fun to this with this person.

Christal: 30:05

That's right. And like we said earlier, fun really does open the door. To more connection, curiosity about one another. It really opens up new experiences, rediscovering each other, and so that's why it's so important. The thing is we are not guaranteed tomorrow, and we're not guaranteed next year or the next, it's more beneficial too. To start now and, and enjoy each other because you do have just this one spouse, right? You have this one person that you're living the rest of your life with, and you might as well enjoy them find ways to enjoy each other.

Lennon: 30:42

If you have children in particular, you do not want to try to reconnect whenever you're done with them. Mm. That is an entirely different and and negative way to, to live your life. You want to have fun in such a way so that whenever you say goodbye to the kids, you're looking forward to more time. Yeah. With this person that you're married to, you don't wanna feel like, I've gotta get reacquainted. Do. Do we like each other or are we stuck? Now. Yeah. Because we haven't laughed together. We haven't enjoyed each other in years because we've been orbiting around these little humans who we thought would stay little forever in some weird way. And now they're gone. And who And who are you

Christal: 31:23

Exactly. And can I just say that I think your kids would be thankful and appreciative if you do have fun if your kids are seeing mom and dad Having a good time together that brings joy into your home and peace into your home. That is so important because when we do revolve everything around the kids, first of all, I think it help our kids start to think that everything just does revolve around them

Lennon: 31:47

and it doesn't. Right.

Christal: 31:49

And then I think another thing is we lose sight of our marriages. We forget that we, we came first. It was me and you, babe. You know, first, yeah. Before the kids came along. So that is very, it's a gift to your kids,, to have fun together.

Lennon: 32:03

It's important to stay connected and keep having fun over the years of marriage because as the years pass by, you are a different person and so is your spouse than, than the one you originally married. I mean, parenthood changes you. Yeah. Uh, the wins in losses of life, miscarriage, losing a job, things working out, and things not working out that you hoped for. All of these things take a tremendous toll in their shaping, and not just all in, in bad ways and in good ways too. And so. I wanted to put you on the spot with a question.

Christal: 32:41

Oh, because,

Lennon: 32:41

yeah. Okay. I've asked myself this and so I can go first if you're like, you need a moment to think about it.

Christal: 32:46

Okay.

Lennon: 32:46

But I wanted to ask this question. How do you feel I have changed over our years of marriage? In, in ways that we can talk about here. Of course, because you, because I have changed a lot. Mm-hmm. You have changed a lot. Mm-hmm. And I have some ways that I think you're kind of a, a different and interesting person.

Christal: 33:07

Well, I wanna hear about those. Why don't you go and share,

Lennon: 33:09

well, just little, little things. One of them is, I feel like you're more of a foodie than you were mm-hmm. Whenever we got married. Yeah,

Christal: 33:17

that's true.

Lennon: 33:18

You're, you're adventurous with the food, but you love a good steak. Oh, more. And you've always loved steak. Well, that's,

Christal: 33:23

that's always been me, but

Lennon: 33:24

it's always been you. But, but I don't know. There's a lot of foodie things Yeah. About you.

Christal: 33:30

Yeah.

Lennon: 33:31

Um, you, you were once upon a time you were really, uh, artsy and like jewelry person.

Christal: 33:38

Yeah.

Lennon: 33:38

And those things have, those things have shifted. And I've seen you go from this. Musical. I love, like I love leading worship and things like that to this. I want to serve women and families. This wise person that has a lot to offer, don't cry on me.

Christal: 33:57

Okay. You know?

Lennon: 33:59

And um, and so I've seen that come about in you. I never could have imagined you 20 years in being who you are now. Yeah. In some really interesting and fun ways.

Christal: 34:10

Well. That also, that means a lot

Lennon: 34:12

to me also, you deal with my annoyances and my shortcomings in a, in a much more patient way, I guess. Because you've just gotten, uh, yeah. You better learn to be patient with'em because I give you plenty of things to be patient about.

Christal: 34:27

Well, okay, so I guess it's my turn. That means a lot to me. I would. I would say for you, I know from the beginning of our marriage you were not a Christmas person and now you want to put up Christmas even before I ever do, and you don't wanna take it down when I feel like it's ready to, it's time to take it down. That's true. So you're way more fun for the holidays than you. At first were,

Lennon: 34:52

yeah. Yeah, because I, I didn't grow up where the holidays were necessarily a good thing.

Christal: 34:57

Yeah. You know?

Lennon: 34:58

Yeah, yeah. Quite a bit of chaos and intensity, so yeah. That was a gift that our marriage gave to me, was a chance to, to see that in a different way.

Christal: 35:06

I do feel like I've seen you become more adventurous. Over the years, and sometimes I think for some people that actually is the opposite. As you age, you become less adventurous and not that you haven't always been up for like, Hey, let's, let's move to whatever, let's move to New England, you know? Yeah. But now, but I do feel like you've kept that, excitement of change, but also that you're willing to go on an adventure, just like we talked about early. Going to the UK is a huge trip, and you were excited and. Willing to go on that. So I feel like I've seen that in you. Is that correct?

Lennon: 35:42

It is. I, I sort of had, I think, a realization over time that I didn't want my, contentment at every day. Just being a day to be something that kept you from enjoying. Some of the things that were in your heart, but along the way, as I did some of those things for you, because I want to be a good husband, I also found out like, whoa, this is fun. And so those things really have changed me for the better. It's one of the ways that our relationship, I think, has changed me positively.

Christal: 36:13

Well, I think the point of this is, is that as we, I've heard, I heard someone say this once was my husband has been married to four different versions of me because of the growth over the years, and I think that the key thing here, fun. Connects us in ways that keep our marriage strong and thriving. I think a lot of people could say, oh, fun, that would be nice, you know, if we got to do that. But I really do think it's necessary fun is necessary in our marriages because it is what. Keeps the flame going. It's what, you know, brings adventure. It's what helps us learn more about each other. And because life can get so serious and so hard at times, if we don't have a way to laugh about things or have fun together, it's just gonna be harder on our marriage in general.

Lennon: 37:05

So I think that'll make a show for today. Fun is a worthy endeavor for its own sake. It's not a waste of time. Your life is not too busy and important to do some things that are, just good, because they make you smile and laugh. So keep doing it. Keep loving each other. Keep having fun.

Christal: 37:25

Don't forget to follow or subscribe, so you never miss an episode. We drop new ones every Tuesday. If today's conversation encouraged you, would you take a minute to leave a review? It really helps more people find the show and join our community. You can visit home and marriage.com for more resource. Like our six Habits of Happy Couples course, and if you'd like us to come speak at your church or event, you can schedule us through the website. You can also follow along on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok. All of the links are in the show notes.

Lennon: 37:59

So thank you for joining us today on the Home and Marriage Podcast. We really do believe that home can be your favorite place. We'll be back again next week with more encouragement and wisdom to help you become better at home and stronger together.